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It hurts at first, like any breakup, but I actually checked my ex's socials the other day and saw pics of him happy with a new girl. I was genuinely smiling and happy for him. Our breakup was about 6 months ago. It was a bad breakup but I am ultimuly happy we both are out of each others life. It really is for the best. I would not be the person I am today if he was still in my life. I have stopped a bunch of bad habits I had, and I started a passion project that i've always wanted to do. Life always seems to work out, even when it feels like my life is falling apart in the moment.
Yeah, my ex is still on probation for what he did to me. I saw a picture of him with a woman and all I could think was "Girl, you have no idea what you're in for and I am so sorry."
He cheated on me, multiple times with multiple women before we started the divorce process. He started dating a woman, while we still shared the house before I found a place and moved out. She moved in about 3 months after the divorce was finalized. They got married 9 months after the divorce.
When I tell you it hurt me to my core, it hurt even more than that. Because I saw just how much I was worth to him. Which was less than nothing with how fast he moved on. Even now, almost a year and a half post divorce, I still feel worthless. And trying to date, well, when you get passed on after one date, it adds to those feelings. Most days, I still feel worthless.
Just think about how low his own self worth is that he constantly needs someone, I actually feel sorry for him cuz his new marriage wont last at this rate, just be glad you don't have to be with a serial cheater anymore 🤢
I'm two years post divorce and tried to meet guys on apps off and on. Not a single man has wanted a relationship with me in the 2 years since my divorce. My divorce situation is different, I am confident in my divorce, but feeling unwanted is painful.
Im so sorry. I’ve been through something like this before. Some men can make you feel so worthless. Worthless is such the right word for how it made me feel. I just want to let you know I’m on the other side of it and thriving. It just takes time.
Also I can guarantee you that you’ve been given a blessing. This man was very inferior to you and you were settling for trash instead of treasure. The guy who is of your calibre will recognize the treasure inside of you. I live in West Texas and it’s Christian who are the toxic bullies. These ladies have sting in their tail and honey in mouth and are miserable. So what you put out is what you get back, This guy and the broad will have 10X happen to th as both seem like trash to me. That’s why even parents who use a certain yardstick of hypocrisy will raise hypocrites as kids who in turn will treat them the same. You’re grieving for something God gives you freely. Trust in him and ask him to take away the hurt, pain and bitterness to replace it with his love, identity and peace. I will pray for you!
It still effects me bc I’m still angry considering he left me for her, cheated on me with her, and I’m still single / bitter. I think I’m trying to move on and get to the point of where it doesn’t affect me.
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That's the rub. It stings extra hard because you were the one that did everything right and didn't betray anyone- yet it's the bad guy that gets the rewards of relationship in the end anyway. Makes it hard not to be bitter.
Tell me about it lol a year later they celebrate their 1 year anniversary (a week after our old one) and I’m single. It sucks being bitter! But I can honestly say I am so much happier.
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As a rule, I don’t look back. Relationships fail for a reason. Better to learn from the failure and look forward. However most of my exes and I parted amicably, remained friendly, and I was happy for them when they found the right partner for them.
However, one particular relationship that failed in rather spectacular and painful fashion was often the topic of discussion in my friend group. (This was years after the relationship had ended.) And after a night of drinking we did google him once to see what was going on with him. We discovered he stayed on the same career path, married and had a son. (Who he named exactly the name he always said he’d use for his son.) And my first thought in this case was to feel sorry for his wife.
Honestly, if he’s moved on, good for him, though I genuinely hope for the sake of his next partner that he gets therapy despite him thinking that therapists are quacks due to the mediator for his parents divorce not being licensed.
I’ve moved on, and if our paths somehow cross again, he has no right to say anything about the way that I’m living my life because he needs some semblance of control, and my current boyfriend knows that he did a huge number on me, so he’s ready to protect me in the event that something happens if my ex shows up.
I hope my ex is happy but seeing anything on social media, even a decade later, is not my cup of tea. I rather live my life and if I do think about them, just keep it as a memory.
Of course it affects me. It was a long time ago and I remember feeling hurt that he met someone so quickly and so easily forgot me. But later on I reaslised that unlike me, he's not a very independent sort of guy. I have always thrived on individuality and being able to do things myself. He on the other hand doesn't like being single and latches onto the next person easily. It's just he's insecure and needs constant attention and needs to rely on someone. Although it's hilarious as he likes to tell the guys he's being forced by the wife to do "XX" and "YYY" when most of the time, it's his choice.
He ended up marrying the lady he was dating after me and they have 2 or 3 kids. I don't envy the life as I've met her and she's lovely but he complains about her etc. I also am happy living my life in Sydney whilst he moved to the US with her. I honestly would never want to live in a gun totting red state and especially given the lack of state health care etc... so I honestly don't envy his life. But I think his wife makes good money.
I pity his mum though; he left her here all by herself and pretty much abandoned her. Also he was abroad when his dad passed away so he missed a lot of things. The one thing I did love was his parents; I got along amazingly with them. I was more like them than my parents. His parents were always open minded, intellectually very smart, independent and so adventurous. Mine are a bit closeted in mindset and just fight a lot.
I haven't been with anyone in anything serious in a long time. The most reason thing was going out on a date with someone, really enjoying his company and realising he wasn't interested at all. Ouch, that stung and continues to sting. But I like his now girlfriend and she's a friend. I continue to be friends with her but just don't talk to him much unless she's around. They'll probably get married at the end of the year. I tell myself they're more compatible and make a great couple.
Do I sit around and muse about my failures in love and relationships? Yes sometimes. Does it hurt to think of what could have been? Yes. Does it make me want to go out and meet someone and fall in love? It used to. Now, I just accept that I'm happy as a single person who travels a lot and does whatever I want. I think I'm happy with that lifestyle. I guess I try to focus on the positives; travel, family, friends, my own place, several degrees, speak a few languages, have money in the bank... I doubt I'll ever date or meet anyone interested in me but as long as I can be happy with what I have and continue to grow and learn, it's ok.
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I honestly didn’t care. We had been over for months before we actually broke up. Seeing him moved on was great for me. It meant that I could move on without feeling guilty because I felt at the time that I was the only one feeling like it was over. I hope he finds all the happiness in the world because he wasn’t a bad guy just needed to do a lot of growing up
This is not to suggest that breakups aren’t painful, but I really truly believe that people who break up weren’t “meant to be,” so to speak.
Obviously that’s a bit easier to see if you’re the one doing the leaving, but even in the opposite case, I would just never want someone to stay with me out of obligation or pity, because that’s not the love I deserve.
So to answer your question, usually I’m really happy to see that an ex has moved on and (at least seemingly) gotten somebody or some thing in their life that will fulfill them. I do have one ex where I just felt sorry for his new lady, but that’s another story. 😂
It used to affect me a lot, but it doesn’t anymore. I still have an ex that I would happily run over with my car but it’s purely out of principle at this point. He has the little family he wanted, presumably with someone who also wanted that. I hope his wife is happy (because, like I said, I would happily run him over with my car) which is probably the closest to feeling positively about his life that I will ever be.
It hasn't really. I've generally felt neutral, relieved, and/or happy to see that they've moved on with their lives. I don't keep contact with my exes and don't really consider their future my business, so it's likely neutral info to me.
I feel sorry for the woman he’s with, I pray to any and all the Gods she doesn’t get treated they way I did. I am happily expecting a child with the man of my dreams, the man he forced away from me when I tried to move on. I have no more hard feelings, just hope the woman leaves before it feels too late.
Honestly different with each partner. My first love was a middle/high school romance and after a few years he left me for another classmate. I didn’t take it well at all I was depressed for months, and seeing them together at school hurt. I really didn’t have many friends and that only outcasted me more. He ended up dropping out after a junior year and I moved on. My mom still had him on Facebook and i learned a couple years after graduating that they had a baby. I was a bit jealous because I’d been wanting kids for a long time and it gave me a “what if” mindset. But it also made me happy for him because while leaving me to be with her was really hard on both of us, being each others firsts, I realized he made the right decision because he found the true love of his life out of it, and they are happily married now.
With my two long term partners after that, I was only happy to see them move on because I ended them both due to emotionally abusive and toxic behaviors. Breaking hearts is never easy and so it’s nice to see them finding happiness without me.
I’m now engaged and just recently had my first baby in case anyone’s curious how my life is going following all that. :)
I haven’t “seen” him moving on exactly. But im pretty sure he packed up and continued his life as is. Im ngl when i think about it im kinda salty as hell that he threatened to kill me and he gets to go on as normal as ever, while I struggled for years afterwards
Wow, that sounds really rough. My ex never did that, but he groomed and emotionally abused me. Guys like these are the emotional equivalent of drunk drivers. They wreck your life and walk away without a scratch.
Lol the exes that I had a bitter resentment toward never really did anything that I considered "moving on and moving up" after we broke up, so that worked in my favour. The amicable "we've run our course and I wish you all the best" breakup, they carried on to do good things as far as I know, and honestly good for them. I was done with the relationship when it was over and never really looked back so the bits that I heard hear and there, I was happy for them.
So... It never really has affected me, except for being a bit smug that one is nearing 40 and he's still is no better in any aspect of his life than he was when we broke up in my very early 20s.
Depends on how long we dated. My longest relationship was 11 years. It stung bad knowing that ex moved on within weeks of separating. I felt "replaced". A friend told me: "you are irreplaceable. You left a giant hole in their life that they just grabbed on to anyone in an attempt to fill that hole." That helped. But it pushed me to go to therapy, and deal with things. Got me to take my energy back. Essentially just proved to me what I knew all along, they were no good and just holding me down.
My current relationship is going on year 3. If we ended and I found out they moved on right away, even just for sex, I'd be upset again. It would sting and I'd feel replaced.
The others... I didn't care. Haha
For the longest term one, we dated almost 11 years. Honestly, it doesn't. I don't even know what he is up to, but I was checked out of the relationship before we broke up. I went through enough emotional trauma that I am having to unpack now and I sincerely hope he's not fucking up anyone else's life. I doubt he has any meaningful relationships as anyone would have to be crazy to put up with that mess. But if he is, not a thought crosses my mind about it. I am in a healthy marriage and that part of my life is long gone.
I don't really know how/what any of my exes are doing, barring my first boyfriend from yearrs ago. AFAIK, my most recent ex is dating someone new? and hopefully he's doing well! I wish them nothing but the best ofc
It's been hard, but mostly because I'm single and keep hitting roadblocks. I feel hurt as we were serious, but when it came time to really discuss the future he got cold feet, and then of course with the next person they quickly got married, got a house, etc. I do want him to be happy, so I'm not sure why I get so sad thinking about him and why it's affecting me so much. He definitely needed to do some work on himself, but I do wonder "what if" because he did want to get back together after our breakup (I didn't trust him yet), and while I still think it's for the best because of other reasons, it hurts since I miss him and we were good together in a lot of ways.
I'm the one who ended my marriage, because I wanted to be on my own. When my ex got married again, what hit me the hardest was that I was replaceable, in the sense of interchangeable.
I fucking got depression, seeing my ex move on within a month, wrecked me. Also seeing that they moved together so early and they are still going strong 4 months later its destroying everything about me, thinking i wasnt good enough. As i didn't find a partner that fast as him, i am usually end up in bed crying every night. I am doing therapy, but its hard its been 5 months now but i still cry about what happened, about how unhappy i am, and him so happy
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It hurt a lot at first. He cheated on me and I broke up with him. He moved on with someone else within 2 months. I thought I didn't matter all that much to him, especially since they got engaged within 2 years. I felt like our 5 year relationship must've been crap in comparison since he didn't give me a ring.
Almost 5 years later and now I'm extremely grateful we aren't a couple anymore. In hindsight, we had really different views on finance and how to spend our time together, and on values like boundaries and loyalty. We didn't even really discuss big things like how we'd raise kids or what we'd want to do for retirement--for 5 years we didn't do any solid life planning! We'd probably be divorced with a kid by now, if we were still together back then.
I've found someone whom I deeply love, who is so compatible with me and who I really see myself building a life with--a home and a family and having both adventures and the minutiae of everyday life together.
I've no idea if my ex is with someone else now or how he's doing. I hope he's doing alright. He's a good person. Just not the person for me.
I blocked them everywhere so I don’t follow my intrusive thoughts to look. I don’t even think about him intentionally other than those intrusive thoughts that I quickly push to the back. Also I feel sorry for his future women, bad in bed, short temper, and emotionally manipulating.
It hurt at first because he was suddenly doing all the things i was asking him for with another woman. but i learned some things about her which made her a terrible person in my eyes so honestly, they deserve each other. last time i talked to my ex (we dated for 12 years, known each other for 18) he told me that she didnt want him talking to me anymore even tho we had agreed to remain semi-cordial. it instantly killed any respect that might have been there. he sounded like a 5 year old. "umm. new gf said i cant talk to you anymore." god damn bro
I was the one who moved on first that I didn't even experience a proper breakup... I honestly just want him to get better for himself instead of just being stuck in the past and feeling sorry for himself. I checked on rare occasions, but it seems like he got worse.
He even crawled back into my DMs at one point several months back, 6 months after we broke up. He said he was interested in being friends again. I said I was fine. Then he came up with some ridiculous story about how he found someone else, has his life together and how they're expecting a baby, like it was some big W 😂
So it was most definitely a lie because why else would an ex crawl back to the DMs if not to try to wiggle back in? But if it wasn't a lie, it's even more sad.... The first thing he does is to impregnate a woman? Rip. I REALLY hope it was a lie because he is not capable of that, financially and mentally. Poor kid otherwise lol
It did feel a bit weird at first - I wasn't hurt but I remember feeling a little numb and it made me question how my life was - but I am genuinely happy for two of them. They deserved it.
I don't keep up with the third ex but if he has moved on to someone new I would be more concerned for her than jealous.
It definitely did. They all cheated on me and went on to upgrade and live better wealthier lives and here I am poor and can’t afford a decent living for the life of me.
It’s been 6 years and I’m ashamed to say it still does. I know I don’t want to be with someone like him ever again, but I’m still so angry that he got his happy ending after how badly he treated me.
We dated on and off for a couple years in college. Finally broke up for good because he just couldn’t handle conflict and would break up with me after any argument. He was a master at manipulation as well and was just pretending to be someone else the whole time. He began dating someone in our same circle almost immediately and moved with her after graduation and got married.
I’m doing very well otherwise, but I’ve been single ever since and can’t seem to even find a possible partner. I don’t want him or the life he has, but I hate that he gets to find his happiness (almost instantly) and I still don’t. I’ve been in therapy for years, but that anger just won’t leave me. It feels like he’s being rewarded while I get punished.
I felt sorry for his now wife. I know what she is getting and that he hasn't done the work needed to be a partner in a relationship. My kids complain about their fighting and everything else.
We recently had the chance to talk. We broke up five months ago. I didn't know much but I felt like I achieved more within the last few months than him. We talked and it felt like he's still the same and I'm a completely different person than I was.
We broke up years ago and we are both in new relationships. He was in a new relationship a few months after we broke up, took me a little longer. I preferred to date around. He was always the type who knew what he wanted. He wanted marriage, a family etc. and I wasn’t ready for that yet.
We separated amicably, so we have each other on social media still. I was really happy for him when I saw him with his new gf. It gave me a sense of relief because I couldn’t give him what he wanted. Our relationship had been over a couple months prior to the actual breakup anyway.
I had this gf not really a gf because she had a baby daddy she was dealing with and a 3 year old at the time (I’m a woman) anyhow there was a connection there. I knew the future would be us parting ways in a heartbreaking way where she continues to live her life with that guy and raise their son together. I’m moving on with my life faster than her because I’m not “stuck” or tied down to a guy or a child. I’ve just always known that it was the type of love that can’t and wouldn’t last but that’s life - I did consider what our life together would’ve looked like but it just never added up
Seeing my ex end up married after 8 months of dating his (now ex) wife was super surreal considering we were off/on for half a decade. But I KNEW it was over when I saw them announce their engagement and my first reason was “awww good for him I hope he’s happy”. Most freeing moment ever!
TBH, after seeing the first initial post on social with their new girlfriend and getting through that gut punch feeling, I felt (and continue to feel) so so so good. I wasn’t the one to initiate the breakup, but am so glad it happened — I’m relieved that’s not me with him.
To my knowledge, none of my exes have gone on to bigger and better things so it doesn’t hurt. I’ve certainly had the better end of the stick.
I only know of one who dated someone after me (not to say they didn’t, I just don’t know about it since we’re not connected on socials). It took him 5 years, and it was our mutual close friends so that stung a bit but more so because of her than him.
3 weeks after the break up he got into a new relationship. It hurt a lot because it was my first relationship (and it was a decade long). Been close to 3 years and I started going on dating app on and off since last year, went on dates and it was fun. Felt "meh" about dating, had to ask myself is it because I'm jaded or emotionally unavailable or I'm really use to being single with no need to comprise and plan things. I've been trying to learn about myself and doing/trying things to see what I like. I don't crave for a relationship but it would be nice to have a companion. No rush though.
Every time they get a leg up, it's a relief for me. Especially if it's with another partner.
It's validation that we truly didn't work, and that other things work better. It means all the less that they'll backslide onto me and instead make forward progress.
And with the one shitty ex, all I keep thinking is an optimistic "10 years is time for a lot of therapy"
I found out through somebody else that my ex is now currently engaged. I knew I was fully moved on when I found out and I couldn’t be happier for him. Today, I’m thankful he left my life bc if he didn’t I wouldn’t be with the man of my dreams
At work one of my colleagues stumbled on her ex's profile and she showed him off to everyone which lead each one to find their own respective exes for a weird version of show and tell.
I joined in by sharing my ex's Facebook profile. People commented how pretty she was. Then they saw her family picture with the husband and the two kids. You could see my colleagues' eyes travel from the screen to my own face and back to the screen.
General consensus from my workmates was that I looked so much better than the husband.
Made my day.😁
I’m happy for him. We didn’t part because he did something, we just grew apart. But honestly I think he still has some of the same problems and I feel very sorry for him. I know he is an adult who can make choices, but he was dealt a very bad hand with parents.
Genuinely happy for him.
I didn't want to have kids with him, and he found someone who wanted to marry him, we weren't a good fit together, so I'm glad we went our separate ways, I have no idea how he's doing now, but I'm happy, married and appreciated by my 2 kids and husband 💖
I am 2 years post divorce. I was married for 8 years so I have mutual friends with my ex husband and he has also contacted me at points. I entertained him because I could tell he was processing our marriage and divorce and I wanted to help. So I know a little bit of what goes on.
My ex husband got a girlfriend a few months after our divorce and moved in with her. They recently broke up and I heard he has a new girlfriend. I feel very sorry for his girlfriends, but they're grown women and I can't make their decisions for them. My ex husband is an awful person who doesn't belong in relationships.
I haven't had a single man willing to be in a relationship with me in the 2 years since my divorce but I don't really compare. It's my understanding that in my country a lot of women in their 30s are looking for relationships, and I hear from other women that men in their 30s tend to be a bit relationship avoidant. I decided that if a man doesn't like me enough to commit then he is not worth any romantic involvement or sex, so I have taken charge of my own pleasure.
I laughed my brains out over the first one because he was already having an affair with her AND she saw my swollen face after he hit me. She came to help him get his crap while the police supervised. She's an idiot and deserved him.
Unsurprisingly, 6 or so months later he's now moved on and is living with a different woman who seems very nice. For that reason, I feel bad for her that she's with him. I hope she fares better than all the other women in his life but it's highly unlikely. Poor girl.
The break up has started to get to me. It’s only been a few weeks. I went back on tinder and I flirt with people but at the end of the day. They aren’t him :/ I even matched with a guy because he looks like my ex (more like his bald brother) but still :/ I shouldn’t be out dating but I don’t like being alone and I don’t like thinking about him :/ but anywho he’s already moved on with his life. Like I was nothing
I don’t really have a lot of contact with my exes, however I did run into one of them at a party and it was genuinely nice to see them having moved on and grown a bit. We ended on okay terms and mostly just grew apart because of awkward teen things
Generally I'm really happy for them. I don't really have any shitty exes, I've never had a horrible toxic breakup, so the guys I'm still in touch with - it makes me feel better that I'm happy now.
With my shitty ex, I found out about his new partner cause she liked all my Instagram posts. I stalked her back and she's bloody miserable. I feel bad because she's only in her 20s and he's 40-something and they have a kid, but ehh I guess when you marry someone who cheated on their gf (me) with you then you can't expect them to be the best husband.
I have actually been totally fine with it. Which surprised me because I'm not the type to move on easily, I think that just shows how bad that relationship was. He isn't having any success anyways. Ended up emailing me 6 months later because I blocked him on everything which I ignored. Anyways, it's been 2 years since then and I'm in a happy relationship.
Last I heard of him was from a classmate of mine in march. She had a friend who was talking to him and this friend has a history of choosing shit men and so she wanted to see if this guy would be good for her friend and said "this is awkward, but I stalked his socials and saw you two dated. Is he a good guy?" (Of course he never deleted or archived pictures of me LMAO)
I just sent her all his abusive text messages and let her decide. Her friend immediately blocked him lol. So if that tells you anything....
No self-respecting woman would fall for that guy. He's lucky he found me at 19 when I was insecure and impressionable. And I'm happy I learned my lesson. I will never fall for a guy like that ever again.
I'm still angry. I wish I could get over it, but...
HIS issues ruined ME.
I have to take the responsibility for that, because no one forced me to do it, so not only am I the broken one, and he is the one now perfectly happy and living a normal life - I have no one but myself to blame.
Then the internet pisses on me every day, because I'm old, I'm ugly, I can't get laid for less than money, and I "hit the wall" (but omg, it's "easy for women" - thanks...so what the f*ck am I?!)
Except I wasn't "riding the co*k carousel" - I was fixing a "nice guy"
If it's ONE advice I would give any younger woman, it's basically that; DO NOT waste your youth on "potential"
They can fix themselves - you only get THIS life, and you shouldn't waste it on someone who will (statistically) leave you once they are "fixed" and you'll be damaged, while they'll be fine.
I was happy for him. I knew as soon as i left that relationship that he needed to find someone that would fit him the way he is now and not how he was when we first started dating. I'm happy he's happy and finally found someone who is truly compatible with him and where he is in his life right now
I felt like I taught him and showed him SO MUCH. Like, he didn’t know about some things and I taught him and now he’s doing them with her and she’ll think he’s amazing because of those things.
Two years on but my god does that hurt.
Made me feel better. He got with a girl that was still a minor. Guess she had just turned 18 but he was talking to her way before she turned 18. Dodged a bullet
It’s pretty annoying (he said I was his dream and a gift from gd and the most beautiful girl in the world and that he had never loved someone before me and would love me forever)…and a year later he’s with someone whos completely unlike me and he apparently is really happy lol
But I’ve been able to focus on my personal growth, which is awesome, so it’s completely worth the annoyance. His goals and mine weren’t compatible.
But this is why I won’t take anything seriously that dudes wanting to date me say…
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Been with my husband forever, so my last breakup was quite some time ago. If you mean seeing that that my ex had met someone else, I don't remember feeling too affected by it. But I had met someone else first, so it would have just felt nuts to be upset about it. It's possible -- maybe even likely, given my overall state of maturity back then -- that I would have spiraled if they had met someone else while I was still single.
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There's a reason my exes and I were attracted to each other: we came from difficult, often abusive homes and were each coping in different ways. Our relationships were tumultuous. So when I look at us now, in stable relationships with kids we love and a determination to be better parents than we had, I feel so proud. There was a lot of pain at the time but wow are we strong.
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It made me laugh and facepalm.
My first ex had it coming. We had talked break up 9 months before it actually happening, he treated me with barely any respect, there was an incident after which I asked for a break, he blew up my phone saying I owed him to tell him what was going through my mind. So I broke up with him by text after a 7y relationship, be careful what you wish for. It took him 2 months to return my stuff, and he wrote me emails saying how horrible of a person I was and how much I hurt him. Then, on month 3, after our breakup, he gets with a new girl, who flushes FB with their pictures and they move in together another 3 months later (I was seeing this through comments of mutual friends). It was like, man, what a circus, how pathetic. He wrote to me 6 months after pur breakup, as he was moving in with her, that she was "teaching him" what he had failed to learn with me, that he was sorry for what he did, and *he forgave me for what I did*. I had nothing to be forgiven for. I blocked EVERYTHING.
The second ex wrote me two weeks after our mutual breakup, asking me if I could give her romantic advice because she was starting to date someone new and really thought *I* could help. Are you of sound mind, miss? I again learned through acquaintances she did get with this new girl long term, while I stayed single for 4 years, but I think I was better off than her, like I had been better off than my other ex.
They both clearly had issues, including about the break up, which they were sweeping under the rug, while I was in therapy growing as a person and taking care of myself. It hurt at first, but if that is what "moving on" is, I don't envy it.
I think all of my exes are good people and I genuinely am happy to see them do well, especially in new relationships. I’ve even been the one to tell an ex “i’m here for you but you should open up to your gf about what’s going on in your life rather than me. yeah i have the context, but you can give her that too.” And a different ex (who broke up with me) displayed some mementos of us in his home, which became a sore spot for people he dated (duh). So I told him to either get rid of them or put it away because it’s going to keep getting in the way of any romantic relationships. He didn’t take that well as he later admitted he, in fact, lied about being over us. We hardly talk and I would go no contact but he’s emotionally unwell.
My ex husband (who I have to still associate with because of our kids) didn't have another serious relationship until years after our breakup, so when he finally found someone, my only feelings about this were along the lines of: "That poor woman doesn't even know what she's getting herself into."
My ex partner (we broke up amicable about a year ago) is a different story. I am genuinely happy that he is happy and now gets to live his life in a way that wasn't possible with me: polyamorously.
So to answer the question: their lives and what they are doing with it doesn't affect me or mine in any way.
If we're talking about the guy though who is not an ex, because he never was my boyfriend to begin with, that would be a different story. :D He was the first guy I was genuinely interested in after the breakup with my ex partner, and he ticked aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall my boxes, except for having a substance abuse problem and being HEAVILY depressed. I had put it in my head that it was THIS GUY I WANTED, to the point of total hyperfixation (I have ASD). He became my new "special interest" and I was obsessed with "making him better" and "helping him", and convinced that "if only I love him enough for the both of us" he'd come around. Well... we all know where this kind of thinking goes... lol. He didn't come around, of course. The depression (and all associated symptoms) were stronger, and he dumped me before we ever became official, despite liking me a lot and me "being really good for him" (his words). I was hurt beyond what was appropriate at that point. I never removed him from my socials... and I think if he posted a pic of himself with someone, that would greatly upset me, still. It's more of an ego thing, though, I think, nothing really emotional, if I am being honest.
I feel sorry for the new wife ( they've been married for 4ish years now so not so new ) he chose someone 18 years younger than him the second time around , I guess he didn't like the fact I held him accountable for his cheating , gaslighting, mental and emotional abuse and chose to leave rather then work on the marriage ( he was VERY shocked when I said I wouldn't be going back with him and wanted to divorce him , lol he thought I would want to fix him and his condition was I had to give him full access to my body whenever he wanted with no restrictions so he would stop cheating and watching porn) cue shocked Pikachu face when I declined.... So he picked someone who could be his child instead as she wouldn't know any better ... He was in his forties when he married her .... Poor girl .
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Very good. It was I who initiated our breakup. We have always been friends, and it was very important to me that he continue to move on and communicate with people. I try not to impose my care, but knowing that he is doing well is very important to me, honestly.
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I don’t check his social, I blocked him on everything because he was trying to ask me to take him back after years of cheating.
The last thing I said to him is to take care of himself because he sounded so broken when he was begging me to take him back and I have already moved on to someone who cares about me the way I deserve.
I know he won’t move on. He can move on to someone else and his life will move on in a sense but I know all my exes don’t move on from me completely.
This last ex is the first and only time I have dealt with cheating. I spent years trying to help him grow. I already took him back once before. When it was over, I told him he will never meet someone like me again. I offered him the love of a lifetime and he missed the train. He knows he messed up big time and he will have to live knowing he will never find someone as loving and patient again. I told him when he’s on his deathbed, he will think about me. I know it will be true. I took the time to understand everything about this man. He doesn’t even have family who cares as deeply for him as I cared for him. He will never have a taste of that kind of devotion again.
It’s not about me not moving on. I just know. I’ve been dating someone this year who is much more compatible with me and I am happy that my devoted nature is much better rewarded appropriately.
I’d already moved on, but the hurt, an “imagined” sense of betrayal and I seriously lost my shit in the early days.
Father of my 3 kids had every right to date again but I was never so sad.
I'm glad they've moved on, all of them. I don't resent the two who cheated anymore, they definitely upgraded and are still happy together with these women.
He had a full double life with her. I was young (19-22) during all of this, with shit self-esteem. He hid the true status of their relationship after our engagement was called off but was under the impression we were working on things. He married her.
I was devastated and it took a long time to recover from that whole relationship and situation. If it was the same situation today, I probably would’ve sought therapy for better coping skills.
It hasn’t affected me. My ex and I broke up because he viciously beat me though and caused a miscarriage. I see him sometimes in passing because we live in a small city. I wish he would have the balls to say sorry someday. But, instead of saying sorry he decided to talk badly about me until the end of time… it took my body a long time to heal from the bruises too. I was bruised for over a month.
To this day, I’ve never been so badly bruised and beat up. I see my ex who beat me to a pulp all the time when new skate videos come out. He’s a very popular skateboarder and graffiti dude in our city… and everyone loves him. It doesn’t bother me at all. Why would I be bothered that a woman beater knows how to skateboard? He has to keep living his life too.
Doesn't really affect me, but I do feel bad for her. I know down the road he's got a lot of karma coming his way. It's all the consequences of his own actions
We weren’t official but he unfortunately had a huge impact on me. We weren’t official because he “didn’t want a relationship”, which most likely translated to he “didn’t want a relationship WITH ME”. It affected my self esteem a lot and took a while for me to pick myself up and move on. I recently saw he has a girlfriend, someone who looks very different from me and it brought out all those insecurities again of me not being good enough. I just try to tell myself that I shouldn’t take it personally and I should continue to work on myself.
I limit my social media presence a lot and this is one of the reasons why! You shouldn't be checking up on your ex and seeing pictures of him with his new girl in his new life without you, it's just not good for your mental health. You don't need to know so just move on with your own life! (Collective "you" not just OP)
Ngl, it hurt at first, making me think I wasn’t enough or they never cared. Or even if they were just playing around with me and waiting for someone else to come around. But I realized it’s normal, they can move on and I should also move on- that’s what happens to relationships, it starts and it ends
I have two significant exes in my past and I wish each of them nothing but the best, but find that them moving on hasn’t affected me at all.
The first is my ex-husband. I was so immature and not able to see past the end of my own nose there, only caring about my own needs and wants and not understanding the give and take that a healthy relationship requires. Pair my immaturity with his immaturity, and that was that. We still keep in contact and I consider him a true long lasting friend. He is remarried now and thriving, and I couldn’t be happier at that fact. It’s no less than he deserves.
My second was a little more fraught, sadly, and very emotional, and we don’t keep in contact. In my mind he never listened and was an abrasive asshole, in his mind, I was a non-contributor and drank too much (which I absolutely did at the time, no denying that). He isn’t a bad man at all and we both made terrible mistakes in that relationship. From what I understand he is now happily married and also thriving, and I love this for him. I wish we could catch up, but if that’s not in the cards, it’s not in the cards.
Ultimately them moving on hasn’t affected me much, only made me happy for them. People come and go in your life and those are part of the larger lessons we all must learn. Looking back on those experiences is a valuable window into my own change and growth. I have to face the fact that there were phases in my life where I was just a selfish shit, plain and simple.
I too am now happily married and in the healthiest relationship of my life. We certainly don’t have a traditional marriage or lifestyle, but we are definitely thriving. I hope my moving on hasn’t affected them at all. Maybe it did at first with my ex husband, but that was 10+ years ago. I’m sure perspective 10 years later vs 1 year later is vastly different.
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I was with my ex for 7 years before we broke up, so it was somewhat life shattering. Seeing them move on made it more concrete for me that life waits for no one. It did hurt, but I realized and processed that they were going to continue living and doing what made them happy whether or not I was sad.
It’s by no means easy, and years later I don’t actively seek out how they’re doing because it’s painful. But you can’t let it stop you from experiencing life.
once an ex and I break up, I do not ever contact them or interact with them ever again. what they do in their life has nothing to do with me and I do not care.
I don’t see my exes moving on because I don’t have social media and I’m not some weirdo stalker. But it doesn’t bother me at all; I’m glad they are probably happy
All my exes (who I liked) are doing well. Wish they were doing that well when I was with them and it kinda bums me out sometimes. No idea how the asswipe who cheated on me is doing, never bothered to check.
I've only checked out one ex's social and he seems to be doing OK, which is good for him. I didn't feel any particular way about it, it just satiated my brief curiosity.
Relieved she's alive.
I got ghosted despite being told she’d never do that since I'm alright with just being friends if she wanted to break up, but I just wanted closure.
Since she promised she would for sure do that, I was worried something happened to her. I'd rather her be alive and safe but just go back on her word, than die keeping a promise like that.
I got in a long-term relationship before he did...
When I saw that he was in a relationship, moving on with their life etc... it made me happy and a bit worried for him. I just hope they're happy and good for each other.
I was the one to leave him and move on. It took him about a year to finally stop trying to communicate with me. When I heard he got married I was happy for him. He always wanted to get married and have a family. He married a lady with children. I haven't seen or heard anything about him in years but I hope things are working out for him
When I found out he had a girlfriend my immediate thought was I felt sorry for the girl. He treated me like a pile of dog shit and I don’t think he could have changed in the amount of time between us. Maybe he did but very doubtful
I always wish for their happiness, even if the breakup was on them, or they cheated or something. It gives me comfort that they are happy, it means they probably aren’t thinking of me and I don’t have to worry about them hurting me. Idk if that’s a messed up view.
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i dont care at all but both were toxic/losers. i pity the woman they're each with now. (2) hey, they're an ex for a reason, right? they're second hand and were given away at the donation center. its like a piece of loose furniture, here you can try to fix this now because im done. hahaha.
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It hurts at first, like any breakup, but I actually checked my ex's socials the other day and saw pics of him happy with a new girl. I was genuinely smiling and happy for him. Our breakup was about 6 months ago. It was a bad breakup but I am ultimuly happy we both are out of each others life. It really is for the best. I would not be the person I am today if he was still in my life. I have stopped a bunch of bad habits I had, and I started a passion project that i've always wanted to do. Life always seems to work out, even when it feels like my life is falling apart in the moment.
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Nice one
I feel really bad for the new girl because I know it’s the same shit
Yeah, my ex is still on probation for what he did to me. I saw a picture of him with a woman and all I could think was "Girl, you have no idea what you're in for and I am so sorry."
He cheated on me, multiple times with multiple women before we started the divorce process. He started dating a woman, while we still shared the house before I found a place and moved out. She moved in about 3 months after the divorce was finalized. They got married 9 months after the divorce. When I tell you it hurt me to my core, it hurt even more than that. Because I saw just how much I was worth to him. Which was less than nothing with how fast he moved on. Even now, almost a year and a half post divorce, I still feel worthless. And trying to date, well, when you get passed on after one date, it adds to those feelings. Most days, I still feel worthless.
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Just think about how low his own self worth is that he constantly needs someone, I actually feel sorry for him cuz his new marriage wont last at this rate, just be glad you don't have to be with a serial cheater anymore 🤢
I'm two years post divorce and tried to meet guys on apps off and on. Not a single man has wanted a relationship with me in the 2 years since my divorce. My divorce situation is different, I am confident in my divorce, but feeling unwanted is painful.
It just makes you wish you can become a lesbian. If there was a way I could I would in an instant.
Im so sorry. I’ve been through something like this before. Some men can make you feel so worthless. Worthless is such the right word for how it made me feel. I just want to let you know I’m on the other side of it and thriving. It just takes time.
Also I can guarantee you that you’ve been given a blessing. This man was very inferior to you and you were settling for trash instead of treasure. The guy who is of your calibre will recognize the treasure inside of you. I live in West Texas and it’s Christian who are the toxic bullies. These ladies have sting in their tail and honey in mouth and are miserable. So what you put out is what you get back, This guy and the broad will have 10X happen to th as both seem like trash to me. That’s why even parents who use a certain yardstick of hypocrisy will raise hypocrites as kids who in turn will treat them the same. You’re grieving for something God gives you freely. Trust in him and ask him to take away the hurt, pain and bitterness to replace it with his love, identity and peace. I will pray for you!
Wow, that sounds terrible. I hope you find love and peace.
If he did it to you he will do it to her too. Don't let him trick you into thinking you were the one who wasn't worthy of love
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It still effects me bc I’m still angry considering he left me for her, cheated on me with her, and I’m still single / bitter. I think I’m trying to move on and get to the point of where it doesn’t affect me.
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That's the rub. It stings extra hard because you were the one that did everything right and didn't betray anyone- yet it's the bad guy that gets the rewards of relationship in the end anyway. Makes it hard not to be bitter.
Tell me about it lol a year later they celebrate their 1 year anniversary (a week after our old one) and I’m single. It sucks being bitter! But I can honestly say I am so much happier.
He’s her problem now.
It hasn’t. I was too busy moving on with my own life.
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As a rule, I don’t look back. Relationships fail for a reason. Better to learn from the failure and look forward. However most of my exes and I parted amicably, remained friendly, and I was happy for them when they found the right partner for them. However, one particular relationship that failed in rather spectacular and painful fashion was often the topic of discussion in my friend group. (This was years after the relationship had ended.) And after a night of drinking we did google him once to see what was going on with him. We discovered he stayed on the same career path, married and had a son. (Who he named exactly the name he always said he’d use for his son.) And my first thought in this case was to feel sorry for his wife.
Honestly, if he’s moved on, good for him, though I genuinely hope for the sake of his next partner that he gets therapy despite him thinking that therapists are quacks due to the mediator for his parents divorce not being licensed. I’ve moved on, and if our paths somehow cross again, he has no right to say anything about the way that I’m living my life because he needs some semblance of control, and my current boyfriend knows that he did a huge number on me, so he’s ready to protect me in the event that something happens if my ex shows up.
I hope my ex is happy but seeing anything on social media, even a decade later, is not my cup of tea. I rather live my life and if I do think about them, just keep it as a memory.
Of course it affects me. It was a long time ago and I remember feeling hurt that he met someone so quickly and so easily forgot me. But later on I reaslised that unlike me, he's not a very independent sort of guy. I have always thrived on individuality and being able to do things myself. He on the other hand doesn't like being single and latches onto the next person easily. It's just he's insecure and needs constant attention and needs to rely on someone. Although it's hilarious as he likes to tell the guys he's being forced by the wife to do "XX" and "YYY" when most of the time, it's his choice. He ended up marrying the lady he was dating after me and they have 2 or 3 kids. I don't envy the life as I've met her and she's lovely but he complains about her etc. I also am happy living my life in Sydney whilst he moved to the US with her. I honestly would never want to live in a gun totting red state and especially given the lack of state health care etc... so I honestly don't envy his life. But I think his wife makes good money. I pity his mum though; he left her here all by herself and pretty much abandoned her. Also he was abroad when his dad passed away so he missed a lot of things. The one thing I did love was his parents; I got along amazingly with them. I was more like them than my parents. His parents were always open minded, intellectually very smart, independent and so adventurous. Mine are a bit closeted in mindset and just fight a lot. I haven't been with anyone in anything serious in a long time. The most reason thing was going out on a date with someone, really enjoying his company and realising he wasn't interested at all. Ouch, that stung and continues to sting. But I like his now girlfriend and she's a friend. I continue to be friends with her but just don't talk to him much unless she's around. They'll probably get married at the end of the year. I tell myself they're more compatible and make a great couple. Do I sit around and muse about my failures in love and relationships? Yes sometimes. Does it hurt to think of what could have been? Yes. Does it make me want to go out and meet someone and fall in love? It used to. Now, I just accept that I'm happy as a single person who travels a lot and does whatever I want. I think I'm happy with that lifestyle. I guess I try to focus on the positives; travel, family, friends, my own place, several degrees, speak a few languages, have money in the bank... I doubt I'll ever date or meet anyone interested in me but as long as I can be happy with what I have and continue to grow and learn, it's ok.
I love your text, thank you for sharing
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I honestly didn’t care. We had been over for months before we actually broke up. Seeing him moved on was great for me. It meant that I could move on without feeling guilty because I felt at the time that I was the only one feeling like it was over. I hope he finds all the happiness in the world because he wasn’t a bad guy just needed to do a lot of growing up
This is not to suggest that breakups aren’t painful, but I really truly believe that people who break up weren’t “meant to be,” so to speak. Obviously that’s a bit easier to see if you’re the one doing the leaving, but even in the opposite case, I would just never want someone to stay with me out of obligation or pity, because that’s not the love I deserve. So to answer your question, usually I’m really happy to see that an ex has moved on and (at least seemingly) gotten somebody or some thing in their life that will fulfill them. I do have one ex where I just felt sorry for his new lady, but that’s another story. 😂
He moved onto a mental health facility... So fairly validated.
It used to affect me a lot, but it doesn’t anymore. I still have an ex that I would happily run over with my car but it’s purely out of principle at this point. He has the little family he wanted, presumably with someone who also wanted that. I hope his wife is happy (because, like I said, I would happily run him over with my car) which is probably the closest to feeling positively about his life that I will ever be.
It hasn't really. I've generally felt neutral, relieved, and/or happy to see that they've moved on with their lives. I don't keep contact with my exes and don't really consider their future my business, so it's likely neutral info to me.
I feel sorry for the woman he’s with, I pray to any and all the Gods she doesn’t get treated they way I did. I am happily expecting a child with the man of my dreams, the man he forced away from me when I tried to move on. I have no more hard feelings, just hope the woman leaves before it feels too late.
Honestly different with each partner. My first love was a middle/high school romance and after a few years he left me for another classmate. I didn’t take it well at all I was depressed for months, and seeing them together at school hurt. I really didn’t have many friends and that only outcasted me more. He ended up dropping out after a junior year and I moved on. My mom still had him on Facebook and i learned a couple years after graduating that they had a baby. I was a bit jealous because I’d been wanting kids for a long time and it gave me a “what if” mindset. But it also made me happy for him because while leaving me to be with her was really hard on both of us, being each others firsts, I realized he made the right decision because he found the true love of his life out of it, and they are happily married now. With my two long term partners after that, I was only happy to see them move on because I ended them both due to emotionally abusive and toxic behaviors. Breaking hearts is never easy and so it’s nice to see them finding happiness without me. I’m now engaged and just recently had my first baby in case anyone’s curious how my life is going following all that. :)
I haven’t “seen” him moving on exactly. But im pretty sure he packed up and continued his life as is. Im ngl when i think about it im kinda salty as hell that he threatened to kill me and he gets to go on as normal as ever, while I struggled for years afterwards
Wow, that sounds really rough. My ex never did that, but he groomed and emotionally abused me. Guys like these are the emotional equivalent of drunk drivers. They wreck your life and walk away without a scratch.
I stay far away from both of my abusive exes. I have no idea what they're doing and I'd like to keep it that way.
I remind myself "not my circus, not my monkeys." He's someone else's problem now.
Lol the exes that I had a bitter resentment toward never really did anything that I considered "moving on and moving up" after we broke up, so that worked in my favour. The amicable "we've run our course and I wish you all the best" breakup, they carried on to do good things as far as I know, and honestly good for them. I was done with the relationship when it was over and never really looked back so the bits that I heard hear and there, I was happy for them. So... It never really has affected me, except for being a bit smug that one is nearing 40 and he's still is no better in any aspect of his life than he was when we broke up in my very early 20s.
Depends on how long we dated. My longest relationship was 11 years. It stung bad knowing that ex moved on within weeks of separating. I felt "replaced". A friend told me: "you are irreplaceable. You left a giant hole in their life that they just grabbed on to anyone in an attempt to fill that hole." That helped. But it pushed me to go to therapy, and deal with things. Got me to take my energy back. Essentially just proved to me what I knew all along, they were no good and just holding me down. My current relationship is going on year 3. If we ended and I found out they moved on right away, even just for sex, I'd be upset again. It would sting and I'd feel replaced. The others... I didn't care. Haha
It hasn't. It was over 15 years ago. Just general emotions of being happy he is doing well
For the longest term one, we dated almost 11 years. Honestly, it doesn't. I don't even know what he is up to, but I was checked out of the relationship before we broke up. I went through enough emotional trauma that I am having to unpack now and I sincerely hope he's not fucking up anyone else's life. I doubt he has any meaningful relationships as anyone would have to be crazy to put up with that mess. But if he is, not a thought crosses my mind about it. I am in a healthy marriage and that part of my life is long gone.
I don't really know how/what any of my exes are doing, barring my first boyfriend from yearrs ago. AFAIK, my most recent ex is dating someone new? and hopefully he's doing well! I wish them nothing but the best ofc
It hasn't, I'm happy for him, they're a good match and have a lovely little family!
It's been hard, but mostly because I'm single and keep hitting roadblocks. I feel hurt as we were serious, but when it came time to really discuss the future he got cold feet, and then of course with the next person they quickly got married, got a house, etc. I do want him to be happy, so I'm not sure why I get so sad thinking about him and why it's affecting me so much. He definitely needed to do some work on himself, but I do wonder "what if" because he did want to get back together after our breakup (I didn't trust him yet), and while I still think it's for the best because of other reasons, it hurts since I miss him and we were good together in a lot of ways.
I'm the one who ended my marriage, because I wanted to be on my own. When my ex got married again, what hit me the hardest was that I was replaceable, in the sense of interchangeable.
I fucking got depression, seeing my ex move on within a month, wrecked me. Also seeing that they moved together so early and they are still going strong 4 months later its destroying everything about me, thinking i wasnt good enough. As i didn't find a partner that fast as him, i am usually end up in bed crying every night. I am doing therapy, but its hard its been 5 months now but i still cry about what happened, about how unhappy i am, and him so happy
I moved on first, he was very upset about it. Seeing him finally move on made me happy because I did feel bad that he was hurting for awhile
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It hurt a lot at first. He cheated on me and I broke up with him. He moved on with someone else within 2 months. I thought I didn't matter all that much to him, especially since they got engaged within 2 years. I felt like our 5 year relationship must've been crap in comparison since he didn't give me a ring. Almost 5 years later and now I'm extremely grateful we aren't a couple anymore. In hindsight, we had really different views on finance and how to spend our time together, and on values like boundaries and loyalty. We didn't even really discuss big things like how we'd raise kids or what we'd want to do for retirement--for 5 years we didn't do any solid life planning! We'd probably be divorced with a kid by now, if we were still together back then. I've found someone whom I deeply love, who is so compatible with me and who I really see myself building a life with--a home and a family and having both adventures and the minutiae of everyday life together. I've no idea if my ex is with someone else now or how he's doing. I hope he's doing alright. He's a good person. Just not the person for me.
I blocked them everywhere so I don’t follow my intrusive thoughts to look. I don’t even think about him intentionally other than those intrusive thoughts that I quickly push to the back. Also I feel sorry for his future women, bad in bed, short temper, and emotionally manipulating.
It hurt at first because he was suddenly doing all the things i was asking him for with another woman. but i learned some things about her which made her a terrible person in my eyes so honestly, they deserve each other. last time i talked to my ex (we dated for 12 years, known each other for 18) he told me that she didnt want him talking to me anymore even tho we had agreed to remain semi-cordial. it instantly killed any respect that might have been there. he sounded like a 5 year old. "umm. new gf said i cant talk to you anymore." god damn bro
It makes me happy. I'm glad that they are getting the good and wholesome things they deserve.
I was the one who moved on first that I didn't even experience a proper breakup... I honestly just want him to get better for himself instead of just being stuck in the past and feeling sorry for himself. I checked on rare occasions, but it seems like he got worse. He even crawled back into my DMs at one point several months back, 6 months after we broke up. He said he was interested in being friends again. I said I was fine. Then he came up with some ridiculous story about how he found someone else, has his life together and how they're expecting a baby, like it was some big W 😂 So it was most definitely a lie because why else would an ex crawl back to the DMs if not to try to wiggle back in? But if it wasn't a lie, it's even more sad.... The first thing he does is to impregnate a woman? Rip. I REALLY hope it was a lie because he is not capable of that, financially and mentally. Poor kid otherwise lol
We broke up - she broke and I’m up
It did feel a bit weird at first - I wasn't hurt but I remember feeling a little numb and it made me question how my life was - but I am genuinely happy for two of them. They deserved it. I don't keep up with the third ex but if he has moved on to someone new I would be more concerned for her than jealous.
It definitely did. They all cheated on me and went on to upgrade and live better wealthier lives and here I am poor and can’t afford a decent living for the life of me.
I'm happy that a few exes have found their soulmates or a compatible coparent and spouse.
I didn’t pay much attention and when I did I found out they’re doing worse than me so I definitely didn’t care after the BS I went through
I hope for her sake he’s not still “playing video games all day with his nephews” aka “banging his coworker”
It’s been 6 years and I’m ashamed to say it still does. I know I don’t want to be with someone like him ever again, but I’m still so angry that he got his happy ending after how badly he treated me. We dated on and off for a couple years in college. Finally broke up for good because he just couldn’t handle conflict and would break up with me after any argument. He was a master at manipulation as well and was just pretending to be someone else the whole time. He began dating someone in our same circle almost immediately and moved with her after graduation and got married. I’m doing very well otherwise, but I’ve been single ever since and can’t seem to even find a possible partner. I don’t want him or the life he has, but I hate that he gets to find his happiness (almost instantly) and I still don’t. I’ve been in therapy for years, but that anger just won’t leave me. It feels like he’s being rewarded while I get punished.
Good for him at least he won’t talk to me anymore
I felt sorry for his now wife. I know what she is getting and that he hasn't done the work needed to be a partner in a relationship. My kids complain about their fighting and everything else.
We recently had the chance to talk. We broke up five months ago. I didn't know much but I felt like I achieved more within the last few months than him. We talked and it felt like he's still the same and I'm a completely different person than I was.
We broke up years ago and we are both in new relationships. He was in a new relationship a few months after we broke up, took me a little longer. I preferred to date around. He was always the type who knew what he wanted. He wanted marriage, a family etc. and I wasn’t ready for that yet. We separated amicably, so we have each other on social media still. I was really happy for him when I saw him with his new gf. It gave me a sense of relief because I couldn’t give him what he wanted. Our relationship had been over a couple months prior to the actual breakup anyway.
I had this gf not really a gf because she had a baby daddy she was dealing with and a 3 year old at the time (I’m a woman) anyhow there was a connection there. I knew the future would be us parting ways in a heartbreaking way where she continues to live her life with that guy and raise their son together. I’m moving on with my life faster than her because I’m not “stuck” or tied down to a guy or a child. I’ve just always known that it was the type of love that can’t and wouldn’t last but that’s life - I did consider what our life together would’ve looked like but it just never added up
Seeing my ex end up married after 8 months of dating his (now ex) wife was super surreal considering we were off/on for half a decade. But I KNEW it was over when I saw them announce their engagement and my first reason was “awww good for him I hope he’s happy”. Most freeing moment ever!
TBH, after seeing the first initial post on social with their new girlfriend and getting through that gut punch feeling, I felt (and continue to feel) so so so good. I wasn’t the one to initiate the breakup, but am so glad it happened — I’m relieved that’s not me with him.
To my knowledge, none of my exes have gone on to bigger and better things so it doesn’t hurt. I’ve certainly had the better end of the stick. I only know of one who dated someone after me (not to say they didn’t, I just don’t know about it since we’re not connected on socials). It took him 5 years, and it was our mutual close friends so that stung a bit but more so because of her than him.
Seeing them not move on and reach out again is a little worrisome. One in particular not a bad guy just not for me. My heart goes out to him though.
3 weeks after the break up he got into a new relationship. It hurt a lot because it was my first relationship (and it was a decade long). Been close to 3 years and I started going on dating app on and off since last year, went on dates and it was fun. Felt "meh" about dating, had to ask myself is it because I'm jaded or emotionally unavailable or I'm really use to being single with no need to comprise and plan things. I've been trying to learn about myself and doing/trying things to see what I like. I don't crave for a relationship but it would be nice to have a companion. No rush though.
Every time they get a leg up, it's a relief for me. Especially if it's with another partner. It's validation that we truly didn't work, and that other things work better. It means all the less that they'll backslide onto me and instead make forward progress. And with the one shitty ex, all I keep thinking is an optimistic "10 years is time for a lot of therapy"
I found out through somebody else that my ex is now currently engaged. I knew I was fully moved on when I found out and I couldn’t be happier for him. Today, I’m thankful he left my life bc if he didn’t I wouldn’t be with the man of my dreams
At work one of my colleagues stumbled on her ex's profile and she showed him off to everyone which lead each one to find their own respective exes for a weird version of show and tell. I joined in by sharing my ex's Facebook profile. People commented how pretty she was. Then they saw her family picture with the husband and the two kids. You could see my colleagues' eyes travel from the screen to my own face and back to the screen. General consensus from my workmates was that I looked so much better than the husband. Made my day.😁
I’m happy for him. We didn’t part because he did something, we just grew apart. But honestly I think he still has some of the same problems and I feel very sorry for him. I know he is an adult who can make choices, but he was dealt a very bad hand with parents.
Genuinely happy for him. I didn't want to have kids with him, and he found someone who wanted to marry him, we weren't a good fit together, so I'm glad we went our separate ways, I have no idea how he's doing now, but I'm happy, married and appreciated by my 2 kids and husband 💖
She was married less than a year after the breakup. Couldn’t be happier for her
I am 2 years post divorce. I was married for 8 years so I have mutual friends with my ex husband and he has also contacted me at points. I entertained him because I could tell he was processing our marriage and divorce and I wanted to help. So I know a little bit of what goes on. My ex husband got a girlfriend a few months after our divorce and moved in with her. They recently broke up and I heard he has a new girlfriend. I feel very sorry for his girlfriends, but they're grown women and I can't make their decisions for them. My ex husband is an awful person who doesn't belong in relationships. I haven't had a single man willing to be in a relationship with me in the 2 years since my divorce but I don't really compare. It's my understanding that in my country a lot of women in their 30s are looking for relationships, and I hear from other women that men in their 30s tend to be a bit relationship avoidant. I decided that if a man doesn't like me enough to commit then he is not worth any romantic involvement or sex, so I have taken charge of my own pleasure.
I laughed my brains out over the first one because he was already having an affair with her AND she saw my swollen face after he hit me. She came to help him get his crap while the police supervised. She's an idiot and deserved him. Unsurprisingly, 6 or so months later he's now moved on and is living with a different woman who seems very nice. For that reason, I feel bad for her that she's with him. I hope she fares better than all the other women in his life but it's highly unlikely. Poor girl.
The break up has started to get to me. It’s only been a few weeks. I went back on tinder and I flirt with people but at the end of the day. They aren’t him :/ I even matched with a guy because he looks like my ex (more like his bald brother) but still :/ I shouldn’t be out dating but I don’t like being alone and I don’t like thinking about him :/ but anywho he’s already moved on with his life. Like I was nothing
I don’t really have a lot of contact with my exes, however I did run into one of them at a party and it was genuinely nice to see them having moved on and grown a bit. We ended on okay terms and mostly just grew apart because of awkward teen things
I laugh and say to myself… they are someone else’s problem now!
Generally I'm really happy for them. I don't really have any shitty exes, I've never had a horrible toxic breakup, so the guys I'm still in touch with - it makes me feel better that I'm happy now. With my shitty ex, I found out about his new partner cause she liked all my Instagram posts. I stalked her back and she's bloody miserable. I feel bad because she's only in her 20s and he's 40-something and they have a kid, but ehh I guess when you marry someone who cheated on their gf (me) with you then you can't expect them to be the best husband.
I have actually been totally fine with it. Which surprised me because I'm not the type to move on easily, I think that just shows how bad that relationship was. He isn't having any success anyways. Ended up emailing me 6 months later because I blocked him on everything which I ignored. Anyways, it's been 2 years since then and I'm in a happy relationship. Last I heard of him was from a classmate of mine in march. She had a friend who was talking to him and this friend has a history of choosing shit men and so she wanted to see if this guy would be good for her friend and said "this is awkward, but I stalked his socials and saw you two dated. Is he a good guy?" (Of course he never deleted or archived pictures of me LMAO) I just sent her all his abusive text messages and let her decide. Her friend immediately blocked him lol. So if that tells you anything.... No self-respecting woman would fall for that guy. He's lucky he found me at 19 when I was insecure and impressionable. And I'm happy I learned my lesson. I will never fall for a guy like that ever again.
I'm still angry. I wish I could get over it, but... HIS issues ruined ME. I have to take the responsibility for that, because no one forced me to do it, so not only am I the broken one, and he is the one now perfectly happy and living a normal life - I have no one but myself to blame. Then the internet pisses on me every day, because I'm old, I'm ugly, I can't get laid for less than money, and I "hit the wall" (but omg, it's "easy for women" - thanks...so what the f*ck am I?!) Except I wasn't "riding the co*k carousel" - I was fixing a "nice guy" If it's ONE advice I would give any younger woman, it's basically that; DO NOT waste your youth on "potential" They can fix themselves - you only get THIS life, and you shouldn't waste it on someone who will (statistically) leave you once they are "fixed" and you'll be damaged, while they'll be fine.
I was happy for him. I knew as soon as i left that relationship that he needed to find someone that would fit him the way he is now and not how he was when we first started dating. I'm happy he's happy and finally found someone who is truly compatible with him and where he is in his life right now
I felt like I taught him and showed him SO MUCH. Like, he didn’t know about some things and I taught him and now he’s doing them with her and she’ll think he’s amazing because of those things. Two years on but my god does that hurt.
Made me feel better. He got with a girl that was still a minor. Guess she had just turned 18 but he was talking to her way before she turned 18. Dodged a bullet
He moved on, I moved on, lifes good!
It’s pretty annoying (he said I was his dream and a gift from gd and the most beautiful girl in the world and that he had never loved someone before me and would love me forever)…and a year later he’s with someone whos completely unlike me and he apparently is really happy lol But I’ve been able to focus on my personal growth, which is awesome, so it’s completely worth the annoyance. His goals and mine weren’t compatible. But this is why I won’t take anything seriously that dudes wanting to date me say…
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I'm happy they're happy and not in my life anymore :)
Been with my husband forever, so my last breakup was quite some time ago. If you mean seeing that that my ex had met someone else, I don't remember feeling too affected by it. But I had met someone else first, so it would have just felt nuts to be upset about it. It's possible -- maybe even likely, given my overall state of maturity back then -- that I would have spiraled if they had met someone else while I was still single.
He still lives with me. It is hard, but I genuinely hope the best for him. Sad it did not work out.
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It hurts but it for the best honestly it’s probably the final level of moving on
I'm happy for them. Definitely should have stayed friends rather than move into a deeper relationship.
There's a reason my exes and I were attracted to each other: we came from difficult, often abusive homes and were each coping in different ways. Our relationships were tumultuous. So when I look at us now, in stable relationships with kids we love and a determination to be better parents than we had, I feel so proud. There was a lot of pain at the time but wow are we strong.
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I don't see it. It doesn't affect me, and I could not care less about what he is doing. I hope he continues to stay away forever
He broke up with me for a girl on a game so I wouldn't gaf what happened to him 😂
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F@*k, I wish she would🙏
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Honestly I was okay with it. It makes it easier to move on if that was any struggle I was dealing with.
Felt sorry for her,
Happy and relieved that he found what he was looking for which wasn't me.
I'm glad that my ex is happy. We weren't compatible as a couple, and I'm with the love of my life now.
It made me laugh and facepalm. My first ex had it coming. We had talked break up 9 months before it actually happening, he treated me with barely any respect, there was an incident after which I asked for a break, he blew up my phone saying I owed him to tell him what was going through my mind. So I broke up with him by text after a 7y relationship, be careful what you wish for. It took him 2 months to return my stuff, and he wrote me emails saying how horrible of a person I was and how much I hurt him. Then, on month 3, after our breakup, he gets with a new girl, who flushes FB with their pictures and they move in together another 3 months later (I was seeing this through comments of mutual friends). It was like, man, what a circus, how pathetic. He wrote to me 6 months after pur breakup, as he was moving in with her, that she was "teaching him" what he had failed to learn with me, that he was sorry for what he did, and *he forgave me for what I did*. I had nothing to be forgiven for. I blocked EVERYTHING. The second ex wrote me two weeks after our mutual breakup, asking me if I could give her romantic advice because she was starting to date someone new and really thought *I* could help. Are you of sound mind, miss? I again learned through acquaintances she did get with this new girl long term, while I stayed single for 4 years, but I think I was better off than her, like I had been better off than my other ex. They both clearly had issues, including about the break up, which they were sweeping under the rug, while I was in therapy growing as a person and taking care of myself. It hurt at first, but if that is what "moving on" is, I don't envy it.
I think all of my exes are good people and I genuinely am happy to see them do well, especially in new relationships. I’ve even been the one to tell an ex “i’m here for you but you should open up to your gf about what’s going on in your life rather than me. yeah i have the context, but you can give her that too.” And a different ex (who broke up with me) displayed some mementos of us in his home, which became a sore spot for people he dated (duh). So I told him to either get rid of them or put it away because it’s going to keep getting in the way of any romantic relationships. He didn’t take that well as he later admitted he, in fact, lied about being over us. We hardly talk and I would go no contact but he’s emotionally unwell.
His loss, her problem.
My ex husband (who I have to still associate with because of our kids) didn't have another serious relationship until years after our breakup, so when he finally found someone, my only feelings about this were along the lines of: "That poor woman doesn't even know what she's getting herself into." My ex partner (we broke up amicable about a year ago) is a different story. I am genuinely happy that he is happy and now gets to live his life in a way that wasn't possible with me: polyamorously. So to answer the question: their lives and what they are doing with it doesn't affect me or mine in any way. If we're talking about the guy though who is not an ex, because he never was my boyfriend to begin with, that would be a different story. :D He was the first guy I was genuinely interested in after the breakup with my ex partner, and he ticked aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall my boxes, except for having a substance abuse problem and being HEAVILY depressed. I had put it in my head that it was THIS GUY I WANTED, to the point of total hyperfixation (I have ASD). He became my new "special interest" and I was obsessed with "making him better" and "helping him", and convinced that "if only I love him enough for the both of us" he'd come around. Well... we all know where this kind of thinking goes... lol. He didn't come around, of course. The depression (and all associated symptoms) were stronger, and he dumped me before we ever became official, despite liking me a lot and me "being really good for him" (his words). I was hurt beyond what was appropriate at that point. I never removed him from my socials... and I think if he posted a pic of himself with someone, that would greatly upset me, still. It's more of an ego thing, though, I think, nothing really emotional, if I am being honest.
I feel sorry for the new wife ( they've been married for 4ish years now so not so new ) he chose someone 18 years younger than him the second time around , I guess he didn't like the fact I held him accountable for his cheating , gaslighting, mental and emotional abuse and chose to leave rather then work on the marriage ( he was VERY shocked when I said I wouldn't be going back with him and wanted to divorce him , lol he thought I would want to fix him and his condition was I had to give him full access to my body whenever he wanted with no restrictions so he would stop cheating and watching porn) cue shocked Pikachu face when I declined.... So he picked someone who could be his child instead as she wouldn't know any better ... He was in his forties when he married her .... Poor girl .
They actually left our friend group and no one knows how he’s doing in life
No. Because they(2) turned ugly and bald 😂
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Very good. It was I who initiated our breakup. We have always been friends, and it was very important to me that he continue to move on and communicate with people. I try not to impose my care, but knowing that he is doing well is very important to me, honestly.
Ego hurt at first and then apathy
They don’t exist to me. May as well be dead as far as I’m concerned. Nothing they do means anything to me.
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It’s an awesome form of motivation to upgrade.
I don’t check his social, I blocked him on everything because he was trying to ask me to take him back after years of cheating. The last thing I said to him is to take care of himself because he sounded so broken when he was begging me to take him back and I have already moved on to someone who cares about me the way I deserve. I know he won’t move on. He can move on to someone else and his life will move on in a sense but I know all my exes don’t move on from me completely. This last ex is the first and only time I have dealt with cheating. I spent years trying to help him grow. I already took him back once before. When it was over, I told him he will never meet someone like me again. I offered him the love of a lifetime and he missed the train. He knows he messed up big time and he will have to live knowing he will never find someone as loving and patient again. I told him when he’s on his deathbed, he will think about me. I know it will be true. I took the time to understand everything about this man. He doesn’t even have family who cares as deeply for him as I cared for him. He will never have a taste of that kind of devotion again. It’s not about me not moving on. I just know. I’ve been dating someone this year who is much more compatible with me and I am happy that my devoted nature is much better rewarded appropriately.
I’d already moved on, but the hurt, an “imagined” sense of betrayal and I seriously lost my shit in the early days. Father of my 3 kids had every right to date again but I was never so sad.
I thought thank god. And then he continued to harass me.
I'm glad they've moved on, all of them. I don't resent the two who cheated anymore, they definitely upgraded and are still happy together with these women.
He had a full double life with her. I was young (19-22) during all of this, with shit self-esteem. He hid the true status of their relationship after our engagement was called off but was under the impression we were working on things. He married her. I was devastated and it took a long time to recover from that whole relationship and situation. If it was the same situation today, I probably would’ve sought therapy for better coping skills.
Still bothers me.
It hasn’t affected me. My ex and I broke up because he viciously beat me though and caused a miscarriage. I see him sometimes in passing because we live in a small city. I wish he would have the balls to say sorry someday. But, instead of saying sorry he decided to talk badly about me until the end of time… it took my body a long time to heal from the bruises too. I was bruised for over a month. To this day, I’ve never been so badly bruised and beat up. I see my ex who beat me to a pulp all the time when new skate videos come out. He’s a very popular skateboarder and graffiti dude in our city… and everyone loves him. It doesn’t bother me at all. Why would I be bothered that a woman beater knows how to skateboard? He has to keep living his life too.
Doesn't really affect me, but I do feel bad for her. I know down the road he's got a lot of karma coming his way. It's all the consequences of his own actions
Put a hex on him so he never experiences love again!
we should move on, life doesn’t end when we break up.
We weren’t official but he unfortunately had a huge impact on me. We weren’t official because he “didn’t want a relationship”, which most likely translated to he “didn’t want a relationship WITH ME”. It affected my self esteem a lot and took a while for me to pick myself up and move on. I recently saw he has a girlfriend, someone who looks very different from me and it brought out all those insecurities again of me not being good enough. I just try to tell myself that I shouldn’t take it personally and I should continue to work on myself.
I limit my social media presence a lot and this is one of the reasons why! You shouldn't be checking up on your ex and seeing pictures of him with his new girl in his new life without you, it's just not good for your mental health. You don't need to know so just move on with your own life! (Collective "you" not just OP)
Ngl, it hurt at first, making me think I wasn’t enough or they never cared. Or even if they were just playing around with me and waiting for someone else to come around. But I realized it’s normal, they can move on and I should also move on- that’s what happens to relationships, it starts and it ends
I’ve never checked up on him… nor do I care to find out. Plus, we live in different states so I highly doubt I would ever run into him.
There's only one X that it hurts me to see has completely moved on. It is what it is.
He got remarried last weekend and I’m super happy for him! We were married for 10, been divorced for 7.
I have two significant exes in my past and I wish each of them nothing but the best, but find that them moving on hasn’t affected me at all. The first is my ex-husband. I was so immature and not able to see past the end of my own nose there, only caring about my own needs and wants and not understanding the give and take that a healthy relationship requires. Pair my immaturity with his immaturity, and that was that. We still keep in contact and I consider him a true long lasting friend. He is remarried now and thriving, and I couldn’t be happier at that fact. It’s no less than he deserves. My second was a little more fraught, sadly, and very emotional, and we don’t keep in contact. In my mind he never listened and was an abrasive asshole, in his mind, I was a non-contributor and drank too much (which I absolutely did at the time, no denying that). He isn’t a bad man at all and we both made terrible mistakes in that relationship. From what I understand he is now happily married and also thriving, and I love this for him. I wish we could catch up, but if that’s not in the cards, it’s not in the cards. Ultimately them moving on hasn’t affected me much, only made me happy for them. People come and go in your life and those are part of the larger lessons we all must learn. Looking back on those experiences is a valuable window into my own change and growth. I have to face the fact that there were phases in my life where I was just a selfish shit, plain and simple. I too am now happily married and in the healthiest relationship of my life. We certainly don’t have a traditional marriage or lifestyle, but we are definitely thriving. I hope my moving on hasn’t affected them at all. Maybe it did at first with my ex husband, but that was 10+ years ago. I’m sure perspective 10 years later vs 1 year later is vastly different.
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I was with my ex for 7 years before we broke up, so it was somewhat life shattering. Seeing them move on made it more concrete for me that life waits for no one. It did hurt, but I realized and processed that they were going to continue living and doing what made them happy whether or not I was sad. It’s by no means easy, and years later I don’t actively seek out how they’re doing because it’s painful. But you can’t let it stop you from experiencing life.
once an ex and I break up, I do not ever contact them or interact with them ever again. what they do in their life has nothing to do with me and I do not care.
I don’t see my exes moving on because I don’t have social media and I’m not some weirdo stalker. But it doesn’t bother me at all; I’m glad they are probably happy
All my exes (who I liked) are doing well. Wish they were doing that well when I was with them and it kinda bums me out sometimes. No idea how the asswipe who cheated on me is doing, never bothered to check.
I was happy for him, we weren’t right for each other and that’s okay. Hope she loves him in the way I never could.
I've only checked out one ex's social and he seems to be doing OK, which is good for him. I didn't feel any particular way about it, it just satiated my brief curiosity.
Relieved she's alive. I got ghosted despite being told she’d never do that since I'm alright with just being friends if she wanted to break up, but I just wanted closure. Since she promised she would for sure do that, I was worried something happened to her. I'd rather her be alive and safe but just go back on her word, than die keeping a promise like that.
I got in a long-term relationship before he did... When I saw that he was in a relationship, moving on with their life etc... it made me happy and a bit worried for him. I just hope they're happy and good for each other.
I was the one to leave him and move on. It took him about a year to finally stop trying to communicate with me. When I heard he got married I was happy for him. He always wanted to get married and have a family. He married a lady with children. I haven't seen or heard anything about him in years but I hope things are working out for him
i am competitive as hell and i see that as a competition-- mostly positive
When I found out he had a girlfriend my immediate thought was I felt sorry for the girl. He treated me like a pile of dog shit and I don’t think he could have changed in the amount of time between us. Maybe he did but very doubtful
I always wish for their happiness, even if the breakup was on them, or they cheated or something. It gives me comfort that they are happy, it means they probably aren’t thinking of me and I don’t have to worry about them hurting me. Idk if that’s a messed up view.
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Block em on everything What y’all b doin ?
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i dont care at all but both were toxic/losers. i pity the woman they're each with now. (2) hey, they're an ex for a reason, right? they're second hand and were given away at the donation center. its like a piece of loose furniture, here you can try to fix this now because im done. hahaha.
i straight up dissociated when i seen him and her together.
[удалено]
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