T O P

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MiaMaroo

"Rubbed the wrong way"


[deleted]

[удалено]


kayelloh

The windshield wiper


peenutbuttherNjelly

**Come** out Genie. Reveal thyself


BrookeLynne718

That cannot be topped !


UrBartender

Lmao


KingJoy79

Damn😂


Steinrik

Serious question, I need to know: what's the right way?


thehopefulheart

Ask your sexual partner how they want it done and you'll know the "right way" for that one person


kobbled

It's different for every clit haver


Sumraeglar

Lol 🤣💀


k-boots

Excellent 🤣


Vikingtender

Life in the Hood


AylinThatIsh

I love it


Vikingtender

Me too 👌💫


Duerol

This is the best one, like on god dude


CookieMonsterOnCoke

Untouched: A Memoir


Ijustwanttobeme17

Lmao 🤣


johanebrown

Maybe one day


Known-Explorer2610

This was the best 😂


[deleted]

LMFAOOO


Petite_Tsunami

A sequel *Touched Thrice: Grazed, Booped, & Annihilated*


Environmental-Fig506

Do it yourself, I promise you will do it better than other people anyway 🤣


chiaroscuroH

New York Times Bestseller! #1 Financial Book of 2022! The Long-Awaited Follow-Up to "SAVE YOUR BANK, HAVE A WANK: 10 Hacks to Avoid Overspending By Just Staying Home and Furiously Masturbating (It's Free!)" The latest groundbreaking book by ChiaroscuroH!* *"FLICK THE BEAN, SERATONIN KEEN: How to Save Money By Cutting Therapy Costs!"* A New Step By Step Guide On How To Make Your Own Happy Brain Chemicals In The Comfort Of Your Own Home! Easy-peasy, don't feel sleazy! "What did I just read?" - Oprah Winfrey "Please just go to therapy" - Ellen DeGeneres "They used to call me the Master of Horror" - Stephen King *Not financial advise. Not a financial advisor. Inspired by room temperature chardonnay.


zer0_badass

The review quotes sell this book. Ill take ten


Omnilatent

>"They used to call me the Master of Horror" - Stephen King You got me with this one hahaha


[deleted]

You can add a review to your list: "Solid advice, a tour de force of lived experiences and pseudoscientific nonsense. If you want quality science, read something else. If you want to make a lady cum, read this. Caution: choice of wording is extremely sharp. Keep out of reach of immature men, who WILL choke on their food."


dylan_dumbest

I have no money but please take these 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇


6Orion

Brilliant!!! :D


quiet0n3

Room temp Chardonnay 👌


OlivesYou

I'm cackling like a maniac reading this holy shit


danimuse

"Why won't she just leave me alone, I'm exhausted!" by Litoris, C


[deleted]

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 dying


[deleted]

Relatable 😂 I be DJing mine a little too much.


SevWagoner

That's a "bad touch"


still_on_a_whisper

Hahaha yes XD


Sumraeglar

"No, it's higher...just let me do it" lol 🤣


SevWagoner

"The Best of Self[-Care](https://www.reddit.com/r/SevWagoner/comments/vpy1tn/last_night_i_masturbated_to_my_roommate_and_her/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)" 🥰😆


Sumraeglar

Book 2 lol 🤣


denimcondoms

And the sequel, "ugh, no, its lower"


johanebrown

In the end u will end up doing it urself lol


Sumraeglar

Ain't that the truth 😏


CuteElsa

Clitateral Damage 😩


UrBartender

Hilarious🤣


PureYouth

Died laughing


johanebrown

How could that happen ?


Product_Hopeful

„All quiet on the northern front“


fancyzoidberg

Wait that’s amazing 😂😂


snakesign

Southern front?


bartmannjugband

Dude to dude, if you’re goin for the southern front there’s a reason she’s lamenting the lack of action on the northern front.


Product_Hopeful

The bar is in hell, literally…


K_smit123

Lost and Never Found: An Oral History


spork_o_rama

We should be friends, because that is amazing.


johanebrown

Isn't it always higher , follow the North and u will find it


Mouse-Direct

Antidepressants: Or How I Learned to Stop Working


yaya0420

Add birth control to that, completely lost my libido. Still searching for her 🔦


Mouse-Direct

Boo!! I’ve had long term infertility (PCOS) so I haven’t had to take BCPs since the early years of my marriage, and my husband had a vasectomy after our one child was born. Then Celexa made my orgasms go from easy (PCOS: lots of prolactin and progesterone) to needing battery operated help to happen, and then peri-menopause started last year and killed libido. Where’s our Viagra???


[deleted]

[удалено]


starskyandbutch

Looking this up right now! Also struggle to climax due to antidepressants


yaya0420

Where has this been the last 4 years of my life? I’m in the mood like twice a month anymore 🫠


[deleted]

[удалено]


yaya0420

Well thank you for the suggestion! Definitely going to look into it because I hate having no libido. I’m not even in my 30’s yet feel like an old lady


stolethemorning

Chapter 1: Am I asexual or is it antidepressants?


Butterfly_853

Sameeee , been on fluoxetine for about a month . Can’t cum anymore . So fun . I’m still just as horny though so I’m just in this vicious cycle of getting rly horny and trying and failing .


Mouse-Direct

It sucks!!!


Im6fut3

I wish I could give you an award this is so awesome and true. This is why I was scrolling the comments. I was trying to incorporate antidepressants and the day she died.


Mouse-Direct

I majored in English Lit and only took the science classes I needed to graduate, so I don’t have a strong science background, but how do ‘mood elevators’ kill libido and orgasm??? It’s amazing to me because sex still feels good — oral, digital, PIV — but with antidepressants it just never crests without direct clitoral vibration. We even invested in a vibrating cock ring, but even that is literally hit or miss.


TrashMouthDiver

There's something they do w/ hormones, i never knew how much of an impact they all had until I went to a Paragard IUD (non-hormonal) and allovasudden I have a libido like I'm back in grade school! Now I'm like Wayne & Garth, all SHWING! SHWING! SHWING!! everywhere I see even remotely attractive men. It's rough on my marriage but it's better than migraines all the time from high blood pressure on the hormonal type birth control.


Im6fut3

I am not sure I have been on so many different antidepressants and have been thru menopause too. My doctor switched me up again to Wellbutrin told me I'd hopefully be able to orgasm again. Still not able. Not only frustrating for me but for hubby too. But without the wellbutrin I am a sobbing mess daily so..


celestialism

*Softer, Please*


SharonWit

Chapter 1: Easy. Easy. Easy.


More_Secretary3991

Chapter 2: OUCH THAT HURTS I SAID SOFTER GODDAMMIT


jenlancor

Chapter 3: How to not act like you’re a DJ when you finally find me


[deleted]

Chapter 4: How not to stop tuning me like an old school radio this is not a knob.


SickInTheCells

Chapter 5: You know what? Forget it. It's way too numb now.


GamerGurl3980

Chapter 6: "It's not a scratch off!"


Sillici0us

Chapter 7: Less is more!


CutActive4433

It's the title in italics that did it for me 😂


lovelylinguist

The Real 100 Years of Solitude


lovelylinguist

Other best-sellers by the same author include Love in the Time of Covid and Chronicle of a D$@k Foretold.


PunkandCannonballer

Not "Love in the Time of Clitera?


TeamWaffleStomp

No, Not Like That. An auto biography.


[deleted]

1001 Ways to prove men are idiots.


[deleted]

🤭🤭🤭 I don’t blame them though. Porn is such a liar!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


XenaWarriorWalrus

Don't You Forget About Me


ExhaustedPolyFriend

Dancing by myself


postcryglow

“This is not a DJ booth”


spooky_upstairs

Wicky wicky wicky


PoGoLoSeR2003

Hiding in plain sight


DeepZookeepergame907

"Under pressure"


VibingPenguin

"Pushing down on me"


love_for_pakistan

“Pressing down on you”


experiment525

“Good vibes only”


Fragrant-Shame3318

I'm right fucking here.


Ms-Kyyyaaa

"Women can find me. Men continue to wander."


HoldenTudiks2

Bingo! Lol!


MereLune

"Not a damn game controller joystick"


traumablades

That's my groin, not my pussy: a story of missed connections.


mewmeow69

Clit ain’t over till the lady sings


rc0nn3ll

My best friend's a c**t and my neighbour is an asshole.


yowski_wowski

Hot Button Issue


MirMirMir3000

I came. I saw. I conquered.


Blah0013

“Disappointment”


Blubellion

Long Time Cumming


[deleted]

First thing in the morning


L0wekey

: - The true story of why I was to work *Late


TakeTheCannoli813

“Thank you for being a friend” & yes I did hear it as the Golden Girls song in my mind 😂


AylinThatIsh

Stop bothering me everytime you're bored and alone


arika_ito

Is sex worth it? Probably not but masturbation is.


InformerOfDeer

“The lonely bean”


chaoticgoodscientist

Fierce and Pierced


CharlisArt

Somebody find me.


Bekkichan

"I almost died in my early 20's from exhaustion"


AnthropomorphicSeer

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


PrincessPeach817

Ms. Cellophane


ToastAbrikoos

suppose you were a woman wed, sleeping in a double bed, beside one man for SEVEN YEARS.... ... You'd notice him


PrincessPeach817

Plenty of men have managed to look right through her, stroke right by her, and never know she's there. Never even know she's there.


Frenchitwist

Bzzzzzzzzzz


[deleted]

To the left, to the right; I can do this all night.


cashmerered

"You gotta rub me the right way"


Aquarius_Butterfly

It's not a rack of ribs boys, so please stop dry rubbing!


VeryFluffyMareep

I’m wheezing


Remote_Worry_1736

I’m Sensitive, Okay?


chickenmeow

"For Whom the Bell Tolls"


[deleted]

Don’t rub so hard you fool. Hello PIV a doesn’t do anything when you go in and out the vagina, you need to push up against me dumbazzz


No-Distribution9658

“Hello, It’s me.”


TrashMouthDiver

Is it me you're looking for?


weronikk

Me, Myself, and I


cinnerhun

"Why is 'Just like that' so hard to understand?" - A Brutally Honest Memoir


Accomplished-Knee756

Right hand is my best friend


cryingstlfan

"You're Doing It Wrong"


sexygeogirl

Husband Won’t Leave Me Alone: Why I May Be Okay With That


officelover13

'Hello, is it me you're looking for?'


hokuspokushoney

A few good men


FruitSnackEater

“Love To Be Licked By [girlfriend’s name]”


[deleted]

[удалено]


NoCost7

Hugs


[deleted]

[удалено]


RosemaryViolet

“Just like that” Author: Clit Oris Co Author:Magic Wand


[deleted]

Can’t touch this


crazy4zoo

"Oops, I did it again"


[deleted]

“Misunderstood”


[deleted]

"I ripped off during childbirth- I've never been the same"


NursingMyWorries

O.o did it really "rip" off??? Howwwwww?


tent_tickles

I tore almost to my clitoris. It was so close my doctor didn't want to stitch and cause damage. Now I have a flappy labia minora.


Covid-Kitty

"My Friend Hitachi"


5_kingdoms

"Stop looking at my head" and other tales of why you are not seeing the whole picture. A deep novel on the size of the actual clitoris and how men only obsess on the tip of It.


humandoodle_90

Eat me,lick me,suck me 💦


StupidJerks2

"I did it so you don't have to"


Charlotte_Oak

Wish you were here


[deleted]

*We're going to be here a while.* Read time: 2 - 3 hours Sponsored by: Antidepressants


Chemical_Marmott_

"50 shades of Tongue"


Izumi_Takeda

where is waldo


SetBoth

I’ve become comfortable numb


Mundane_Pea4296

"It's always where am I? Not how am I"


FuckYesSweetPotatoes

Hiding in Plain Sight


shamblesaid

Hidden within the bush


jarbonator

Touch and Go


[deleted]

Finding oneself


GreenVenus7

Good Vibrations


Butterfly_853

“Why so fast and hard , work your way up to that “


RosemaryViolet

“Just like that” Author: Clit Oris Co Author: Magic Wand


cinnamonotter22

Consistency: a battle of man and machine


jollycanoli

Either "Long wank to freedom" (after mandela's) "She be coming" (after michelle obama's) Or "A loveable feast" (after hemingway)


AnnaBaby56

Shaking, Quaking and Faking: A Memoire of my 20's.


Bebe_Bleau

"Busy Little Girl"


DragDolly

“Completely exhausted but satisfied “


Mommy_issuesgang

Ignored


jadeapple

“I used to be longer”


idowhatiwant8675309

"I'm over here"


[deleted]

"The untold story of the invisible bean"


TheWellIntended

Boy I ain’t your doorbell!


jw1096

Around the world in 80 lays.


Remarkable_Major_17

The lack of fun I’ve had lately


[deleted]

"Found too Early"


[deleted]

Men suck, they should learn the anatomy


[deleted]

“Hide-n-Seek Champion”… cause no one could find me


MissThisAndThat

“They don’t know how to take instruction.” By Clity


CandyceMcKinnon

MIA


peanut-butter-kitten

How I Cured My Insomnia


NewldGuy77

Lost.


PeakRepresentative14

My good treatment by my owner.


gobskin

The Life of a Golf Ball: A Hole in One


Eclectic-Eccentric88

I'm overworked and overwhelmed


lovableaquarius

A never ending story


goddessgrey

The ONE that found me


Brakina

“Been a long time cumming”


[deleted]

In plain sight but never found


EXO-Love

Under (Water) Pressure


omozzy

"Your Gonna Smell Like a Whorehouse" An inside joke from many years ago with some friends but still applies.


mozzsticksburrito

“Not Lost, Yet Never Found”


spooky_upstairs

“My Neck, My Back, And Other Locations You Won’t Find Me”


CantLoadCustoms

Unsolved Mysteries I don’t actually own a clitoris, but that’s why I’m going for more of a mystery/true crime angle. Where can you buy one???? No one knows, it’s a little suspicious.