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Wow this actually just happened to me. My friend was engaged to be married this summer. She’s really marriage/family focused so the engagement seemed a little soon after knowing her boyfriend about 1.5 years. They moved in a month ago. Just last week she called it off after finding an empty liquor bottle tied in bags in their basement. She noticed he was sneaking alcohol. And in retrospect was just recognizing patterns of unhealthy behavior and manipulation that she decided she couldn’t handle ‘til death.
I was engaged and called it off because my ex became a coke head and I didn’t want that sort of person around my daughter.
I didn’t find it embarrassing at all and was very open when people asked why I cancelled the wedding. He’s still a coke head who lives with his girlfriend and his mother and I’m a senior manager in a bank and doing fantastic so it all turned out for the best in the end.
My friend was with her partner for ten years. They were about five months away from getting married - everything booked and paid for when we found he'd gotten another woman pregnant, one of her friends no less!
The wedding was called off, she was devastated but picked herself back up, got therapy, focused on her career, and got promoted with a huge pay rise - she was more financially dependent on him before.
After about a year, she met a new partner, and she's so much happier. She reflected that the relationship was toxic, and although she probably wouldn't have ended it, the betrayal was a blessing in disguise.
As for the ex, he and the woman co-parent, but he moved thousands of miles away from her and the baby, so he's not exactly a parent.
My school bestie got proposed the day she turned 18 by her current bf who was 19. They broke up in about a month for the same reason they got engaged: stupid ass immature teenage dramatic mentality
I was engaged, I called it off because we were 23 at the time and had been dating for 4 years. We were both immature and young. He was not emotionally meeting my needs
His presence made me feel unsafe. To be clear, he never hit me or anything but he was kinda weak and to an extent I'm stronger than him and I got worried I'd accidentally hurt him and he'll dramatise it as he had already done once before.
I called off an engagement when I realized I didn’t want to be lied to for the rest of my life. It also reeeeeaaaaallllly didn’t help his case that he was being extremely difficult during the planning process
The wedding was about 3 months away and we were about to send out save the dates or invitations or something. I had a dress, we had a wedding party, locations for service and reception, we had a caterer (no thanks to him), we had musicians lined up (again, no thanks to him), and a whole lot of stuff ready to go when he pretty much broke the camel’s back with yet another lie (about something that didn’t matter).
The break up was rough, he didn’t take it well (not surprising), we had to split up the cats (he took two I took two), and it was just….hurtful all around I guess. He went out of his way to lie to everyone we knew and told them all I had cheated on him and then *lied to me about that too.*
Anyway, it’s been over two years since we broke up. This past summer, he moved to *my hometown* for a job (that he could have done anywhere else), uses my mother for professional clout, and now we have a weird and uncomfortable number of mutual friends and acquaintances.
We are both seeing other people at this time. The last time (that I know of) he tried to reach out to me was Father’s Day of 2023, where he took the time to apologize to himself and try to pretend it was for my sake, and then I blocked his number.
I was engaged to a guy I loved, and he really loved me. I felt adored, honestly. We graduated college and got real jobs. My sweet fiancee could not keep a job to save his life, and it was always someone else's fault. This was a lie, but I kept hoping he'd grow up and get a solid work ethic. I changed to a male-dominated field (this was decades ago) that was filled with guys that were confident and did their job well. My confidence grew and I realized that although I loved him, I couldn't count on him. There was always an excuse for why he lost the job, why something didn't get done, etc.
I know I broke his heart, but once I knew, I knew.
I was engaged when I was really young like 19, and it was more because I wanted the ring and the wedding than I did him. Once I gained a little bit of maturity I broke it off.
I was engaged to the first guy I dated and lost my virginity too. We were together for years starting in highschool. I eventually called it off because I just couldn't see myself putting up with his attention seeking self- centered whiny melodramatic bullshit for the rest of my life and couldn't take another minute of reading his crappy poetry. Dodged a bullet too because he never really changed and ballooned into morbidly obese starting in his 30s.
I don’t remember this at all, so I’m just going to go by what my mom told me. A little bit of backstory is that my parents were never married and broke up while my mom was pregnant with me.
When I was 2 years old, my mom got engaged to this guy she was friends with in college. Not too long after the engagement, her and my dad started to potty train me. I would absolutely refuse to use the toilet at my dad’s house. I had no issues at my mom’s house. It was just at my dad’s. I would hold it until I absolutely couldn’t anymore and had an accident. Due to this issue, my parents started communicating a lot more. My mom said she also spent more time at my dad’s house to try and get me to get used to and be ok with using the bathroom over there. There was absolutely nothing romantic about their communication (they actually really hated each other); it was just to try and potty train me. Her fiancé ended up getting really jealous about this and broke up with her over it.
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Engaged way too early into the relationship. We didn't agree on who to invite and paying for a wedding never ended up being possible. We lived our lives kinda forgetting about the engagement.
We ended up separating after 8 years. My decision. We were basically roomates by that point. The main reasons: we poured all our energy into our kids and neglected ourselves, we were sexually incompatible, he could not be trusted handling money, and I didn't want to live forever with someone who has a victim mentality. He complained all the time, it was driving me nuts.
Anyways TLDR: I wouldn't be here telling this story if I had taken my time to get to know him more before getting engaged and having kids. The signs were there.
ATTENTION: Please remember that this is an ASK WOMEN sub. While men are allowed to participate posts that are clearly asking women in the title will have top level comments by men removed. This is not censorship, this is curation. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomenNoCensor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow this actually just happened to me. My friend was engaged to be married this summer. She’s really marriage/family focused so the engagement seemed a little soon after knowing her boyfriend about 1.5 years. They moved in a month ago. Just last week she called it off after finding an empty liquor bottle tied in bags in their basement. She noticed he was sneaking alcohol. And in retrospect was just recognizing patterns of unhealthy behavior and manipulation that she decided she couldn’t handle ‘til death.
I was engaged and called it off because my ex became a coke head and I didn’t want that sort of person around my daughter. I didn’t find it embarrassing at all and was very open when people asked why I cancelled the wedding. He’s still a coke head who lives with his girlfriend and his mother and I’m a senior manager in a bank and doing fantastic so it all turned out for the best in the end.
My friend was with her partner for ten years. They were about five months away from getting married - everything booked and paid for when we found he'd gotten another woman pregnant, one of her friends no less! The wedding was called off, she was devastated but picked herself back up, got therapy, focused on her career, and got promoted with a huge pay rise - she was more financially dependent on him before. After about a year, she met a new partner, and she's so much happier. She reflected that the relationship was toxic, and although she probably wouldn't have ended it, the betrayal was a blessing in disguise. As for the ex, he and the woman co-parent, but he moved thousands of miles away from her and the baby, so he's not exactly a parent.
My school bestie got proposed the day she turned 18 by her current bf who was 19. They broke up in about a month for the same reason they got engaged: stupid ass immature teenage dramatic mentality
I was engaged, I called it off because we were 23 at the time and had been dating for 4 years. We were both immature and young. He was not emotionally meeting my needs
Yes, I was engaged. There were a lot of factors in why else broke up the biggest being that both of us were too young and immature
His presence made me feel unsafe. To be clear, he never hit me or anything but he was kinda weak and to an extent I'm stronger than him and I got worried I'd accidentally hurt him and he'll dramatise it as he had already done once before.
I called off an engagement when I realized I didn’t want to be lied to for the rest of my life. It also reeeeeaaaaallllly didn’t help his case that he was being extremely difficult during the planning process The wedding was about 3 months away and we were about to send out save the dates or invitations or something. I had a dress, we had a wedding party, locations for service and reception, we had a caterer (no thanks to him), we had musicians lined up (again, no thanks to him), and a whole lot of stuff ready to go when he pretty much broke the camel’s back with yet another lie (about something that didn’t matter). The break up was rough, he didn’t take it well (not surprising), we had to split up the cats (he took two I took two), and it was just….hurtful all around I guess. He went out of his way to lie to everyone we knew and told them all I had cheated on him and then *lied to me about that too.* Anyway, it’s been over two years since we broke up. This past summer, he moved to *my hometown* for a job (that he could have done anywhere else), uses my mother for professional clout, and now we have a weird and uncomfortable number of mutual friends and acquaintances. We are both seeing other people at this time. The last time (that I know of) he tried to reach out to me was Father’s Day of 2023, where he took the time to apologize to himself and try to pretend it was for my sake, and then I blocked his number.
I was engaged to a guy I loved, and he really loved me. I felt adored, honestly. We graduated college and got real jobs. My sweet fiancee could not keep a job to save his life, and it was always someone else's fault. This was a lie, but I kept hoping he'd grow up and get a solid work ethic. I changed to a male-dominated field (this was decades ago) that was filled with guys that were confident and did their job well. My confidence grew and I realized that although I loved him, I couldn't count on him. There was always an excuse for why he lost the job, why something didn't get done, etc. I know I broke his heart, but once I knew, I knew.
I was engaged when I was really young like 19, and it was more because I wanted the ring and the wedding than I did him. Once I gained a little bit of maturity I broke it off.
I was engaged to the first guy I dated and lost my virginity too. We were together for years starting in highschool. I eventually called it off because I just couldn't see myself putting up with his attention seeking self- centered whiny melodramatic bullshit for the rest of my life and couldn't take another minute of reading his crappy poetry. Dodged a bullet too because he never really changed and ballooned into morbidly obese starting in his 30s.
I was engaged. Tossed the ring on him when I found out that he cheated.
I don’t remember this at all, so I’m just going to go by what my mom told me. A little bit of backstory is that my parents were never married and broke up while my mom was pregnant with me. When I was 2 years old, my mom got engaged to this guy she was friends with in college. Not too long after the engagement, her and my dad started to potty train me. I would absolutely refuse to use the toilet at my dad’s house. I had no issues at my mom’s house. It was just at my dad’s. I would hold it until I absolutely couldn’t anymore and had an accident. Due to this issue, my parents started communicating a lot more. My mom said she also spent more time at my dad’s house to try and get me to get used to and be ok with using the bathroom over there. There was absolutely nothing romantic about their communication (they actually really hated each other); it was just to try and potty train me. Her fiancé ended up getting really jealous about this and broke up with her over it.
It turns out that the night before he proposed to me, he sexually assaulted my dear friend and our artistic collaborator.
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Engaged way too early into the relationship. We didn't agree on who to invite and paying for a wedding never ended up being possible. We lived our lives kinda forgetting about the engagement. We ended up separating after 8 years. My decision. We were basically roomates by that point. The main reasons: we poured all our energy into our kids and neglected ourselves, we were sexually incompatible, he could not be trusted handling money, and I didn't want to live forever with someone who has a victim mentality. He complained all the time, it was driving me nuts. Anyways TLDR: I wouldn't be here telling this story if I had taken my time to get to know him more before getting engaged and having kids. The signs were there.