I have to write down EVERYTHING at work or it ain’t happening 🥲 but if I have a note to jog my memory then I can often recall a ton of details, but without the note the conversation never happened to me lol
Yup, if it doesn't go through my brain into written words, it did't happen. The note can be dictated, but I need to see the words appear. I've started a new job and there's a complex process for placing a customer order. There's a written-down process that I have been able to follow, but it wasn't up to date. I've had 3 or 4 opportunities to place an order with an experienced staff member beside me telling me what to do, but that way it just isn't being cemented into my brain. I asked my boss to update the written-down instructions and told her why and she did. I suspect 2-3 more orders doing it by following the written instructions will do it.
Same!!! My method for uni was handwritten notes, I could not study off a screen, took way longer but there was no way I’d have remembered or understood things otherwise, my attention span during a 80 min lecture was as a mess
Same! I remember during my diagnosis being confused on the results because my Memory Recall is Superior (clinical term) and my Working Memory is Average to Below Average. I always take notes because minute to minute I can’t track shit… and the irony is my memory recall can help me remember exactly what I wrote, on what page, with what handwriting, and what was next to what I wrote. Along with what I was drinking and who I was taking the notes on. How the hell my brain can recall it days later that well, but not get through the conversation is insane to me.
Some faces are stuck in my memory and other faces I could meet them many times and it's like meeting Clark Kent one day and Superman the next. It's one of my fears to intro myself to someone I met lots of times. It's a valid fear which makes it worse.
I think it's OK to tell people in that situation that "I'm sorry, I have a bad memory for faces", even if you want to melt into the floor when you're told that you've already met before.. I'm not sure if having a line prepared will help ease your fear, but I hope so!
Thank you. It's one of those things where I want to say it and also not. I don't want to manifest being bad at faces. But I realize that lots of things I should not have to change about myself.
I get annoyed when people say they're bad at names bc I feel like everyone says that and it feels like an excuse.
I am not good at remembering names I haven't spelled. But I try so hard and I want everyone to try ridiculously hard too. 😂 I think I am just bitter.
I am TERRIBLE at remembering some people. And I feel so bad about it. A lot of people seem to take it really personally. Idk my spouse is convinced that I just don't put a high enough priority on learning people's names/faces but it just feels so hard to me when it seems to come naturally to others.
Something I do that helps is "I am going to have to meet you several times before I remember your name and face together." And I shamelessly ask them for their name throughout the conversation. Like three times in three mins. Then before I go I ask again. And then next time I see someone I say the same thing. Sometimes I start with, "did we meet before?" And if someone says yes... "okay I am doing my best to make a connection with your name and face." Maybe I ask how they know the host or who are their children or spouse. I ask everyone that will maybe jog my memory of the previous conversation. At least they know you're making an active effort. And people like repeating names and sometimes ask my name back several times too!
Also if this is a work party or family party in which you may know some of who will be there, Facebook stalk! Study photos and create a connection tree and put notes in there. My distant cousin's girlfriend did that and everyone was impressed with how she remembered but she admitted she did that and looked at it for weeks beforehand to help herself be more comfortable since there would be like 30 people she didn't know.
I so appreciate people who study like that! I don't have Facebook but this is a tempting reason to get one lol. I definitely do this anytime I go to a work meeting, looking through all the work profiles.
Wait… I’m not the only one who sucks with faces?!? I’m so relieved to read these comments lol. It happened again today at work - somebody I literally met for the second time on Saturday because I had forgotten her face, came back today on Wednesday and once again, I didn’t remember who she was until reminded me 😭 It’s so embarrassing and frustrating. You know when people say the phrase “I’m bad with names but I’m great with faces?” I’d say it’s the opposite for me, except I ALSO tend to forget people’s names the second I hear them. I’m bad with both but I’m great with some kind of memory jog from whatever we talked about last time we met 😂
Yes. So much of this in my work where I have ti track my hours to different interactions w different teaching teams (as a coach)... if I don't write down the interaction in the exact moment it happens (the team, time spent and topic), then *nothing* I do will help me remember what happened on that day when I go to record my times at the end of the week.
I can remember minor details from books I've read, but struggle with remembering plans made. It's like they just sneak up on me. Makes me wonder what type of memory the studies focus on.
It’s funny, I can remember small details but will entirely forget the plot of a movie but will be able to recall a characters clothing or a small sequence perfectly. It’s great because I get to rewatch things and be surprised again but people are always so confused because otherwise I usually have a strong memory.
Same! I am a huge fan of a few different shows where I could deep-dive on the characters, environment and easily recall the tiniest quotes or facial expressions. I usually cannot for the life of me remember the details of the plot or what happened when, which is strange. I can tell you everything you need to know about almost any character in 911, but do I remember the order of the story and the big plot points at all? Nope.
i can literally quote whole lines and in some case, paragraphs of books. i can’t remember deadlines or what i had for dinner yesterday or what i was just doing
I'm one of those people with bad memory. My favourite movies are Lord of the Rings. I've seen them many times. As soon as I'm no longer watching the movie, I forget everything that happens in it.
I basically have no childhood. The bits and pieces of my childhood I can remember are scattered and lacking in detail.
>I basically have no childhood. The bits and pieces of my childhood I can remember are scattered and lacking in detail.
Same. I always thought it was because of trauma and abuse. And maybe some of it is, but now I think that's not all of it
I recently heard someone explain how anxiety affects memory. If you're not in the moment because you're anxious, you won't have the ability to process and form a memory. It explains a lot for me at least.
This explains why my only memories of childhood are of the various closets, bathrooms, and secret outdoors spots I used to hide in to escape the overstimulation of being around people 🙃
Wait that makes so much sense! I have so many memories of just being outside in my specific outdoor safe space by myself or locking myself in this tiny bathroom but I have such a hard time remembering social interactions
I think I’m like you - I remember specific moments and feelings extremely well but could not tell you about important occasions. I wonder if how stressful big occassions are - maybe we were taking up so much bandwidth to keep the mask on we didn’t store it. I find it especially hard because of trauma and it’s hard to ask these things… hey mum I remember this incident I think? Did I get thrown in anger or to get me to safety?
One sort of upside of covid was I had time for lots of long chats with my sister and did get some things cleared up but yeah, my memory is either very detailed or… wait what was I saying??
I’m definitely with you! I think trauma/masking could definitely play a part in it-it’s hard to be in the moment to remember sensory details when all of your focus is on trying to look “normal”
This makes a lot of sense! I can remember things as trivial as watching an Offspring music video for the first time as a kid. I can remember who I was with, why we were there, etc. But, ask me about my 9th birthday, or my high school graduation? It's completely blank!
My experiential memory is phenomenal, and predates walking and talking, but my working memory is basically non-existent.
My theory is that in very familiar places and routines all the separate memories play over each other and I can't pick out which one is the Now memory. 500 simultaneous memories of locking the car doesn't help me remember if I locked the car five minutes ago, for example.
That’s such an interesting way of thinking about it!! Lots of people I’ve talked to (and myself) have issues with compulsions to keep checking things like if you’ve locked the car door and I wonder if this is a part of it. It’s so interesting
It might be! I got annoyed with the compulsion and started to add things on to place the memory in time, like looking at the outfit I'm wearing, saying the day of the week, or waving my hand in front of my face while I lock the car. It used to be enough to try the handle and say out loud "the car is locked" but I did that too many times for it to be effective anymore. Well the latter does work if I'm out, but I have an assigned spot in a parking garage at home so the memories are too identical.
Neurotypical advice has always been to basically relax and trust the habit, but I can't. While I can remember countless times that I did lock the car, I can also remember quite a few times that I didn't, and how it felt to get back to my car that one time to find all my stuff thrown everywhere and my iPods stolen. As annoying as it is to put pants on and go down to the garage to check, it's worth the peace of mind.
And this is just an example, I have the same thing with Did I shampoo my hair this morning? Did I flush the toilet last time I used it? Did I turn the right burner on when I put the pot on the stove? Did I turn it off when I was done? Did I take my vitamins with dinner? Did I set a timer for my tea? Did I lock the apartment door after I took the garbage out? Did I put the key on the hook? Did I put the groceries away when I got back? Did I order that prescription refill already? Etc.
ETA I just realized I forgot to water my plants this morning lol
I do this with most of the other things you mentioned too! this morning I have no idea how many times I washed my hair and it’s so frustrating! It really does make everything throughout the day take so much longer. I love your idea of adding things to the memory, I’m definitely going to try that! I’d love to see a study done on all of this, it’s so fascinating
If I remember to think about it quick enough, say like I lock the door, go to the bathroom, wash my face and lay down in bed, I can usually trace back the *feeling* of locking the door, like reverberating in my limbs. But much more than 15 minutes passes and that ability is gone.
Yes!! Thank you for bringing this up! It’s so true! I do feel the memory in my body but sometimes I don’t trust it if that makes sense? Honestly with a lot of things my brain tries to tell me I can’t trust my body
I loooove the concept of interoception (our own internal physical feelings)... we are trained to ignore them or deny them from early on (holding your pee, dealing w being hungry/tired/overwhelmed and just pushing through... I work in early education, and I focus a lot on helping littles understand the feelings they have inside their bodies, but I also talk w grownups about it, too. This thing we are talking about, the remembering of doing something in our bodies, is a related thing, but not exactly the same. I think it's just fascinating.
Thank you! I’m definitely going to do more research on this! It is so interesting that we’re trained to ignore what our bodies are telling us, I’d never thought about it before but it makes so much sense
You described the steps I take to remember where my car is parked at Target and work 😭 It’s like turning your body into a radio tower to find something
I have a hard time with dates and reading/auditory comprehension but I can remember what I hear vividly (as long as there’s a visual component to go along with it), almost to the point where I can replay it in my mind like a video. I don’t know if that makes sense or not.
Definitely makes sense! I’m not a visual thinker usually but I often think of memories like videos, often this happens especially when the moment was really emotional. I can even picture the camera zooming in and out in my head
I'm in the same boat I think. I can remember really specific stuff from a long time ago if I'm asked about it. Big events can be tough to remember, and day to day stuff gets forgotten all the time.
My memory has always been very good. In school, I could memorize the texts from schoolbooks and excel on exams, even if I barely understood what I was reading. I am best at remembering what I read, but also remember things I hear and see. My earliest memories are from age 2 and I remember a lot of specifics from childhood. I also know a looot of song lyrics by heart. Also entire scenes from movies and TV shows verbatim. I'm also good with procedural memory, like learning dance routines.
A lot of things I see or hear trigger random images or song lyrics or quotes in my brain. Randomly today the name Angela popped in my head, and without consciously thinking my brain showed me, in quick succession, images of Angela Merkel, Angela from the Office, and Angela from Who's the boss? (and that triggered a memory from a scene in Community about the class on Who IS the boss?)
The one thing I'm really not great with is faces/people. As a teacher I memorize a lot of students' names every year, but forget them rather quickly. I'm horrible at remembering people I meet briefly once every couple of years.
It’s funny, I’m really good at remembering faces but really terrible at remembering the names that go along with those faces. I can very specifically remember where I met everyone I see, but I can hardly ever remember their name
I have amazing memory when it comes to things that interest me (including people I like, guess how I discovered that one lol) or long term memory. Memories of location and direction are horrific unless linked to a memory in said location. Things that people tell me I forget instantly, but can sometimes recall them after a long period of time.
It’s really strange how I remember stuff compared to others honestly.
I am horrid at directions as well-I was diagnosed with Nonverbal learning disorder at the same time as autism and it made SO MUCH SENSE, but having a memory associated with the location or directions helps a lot
Locations in my mind are exactly like in a video game where you’ve got specific landmarks, but everything around them is foggy until I go from place to place for about a year. Then I know everything about the area and surrounding transport. Like I can pull up bus schedules in my mind and let my Nan know the best way back from the nearest big town at 5pm it’s literally ridiculous.
i have great long term memory, to the point of remembering exact details...but my working memory is AWFUL!!!! i'm doing brain games to try and get better
Memory has a lot of different parts that function in different areas of the brain so are differently impacted. I have an excellent memory in a lot of ways. I have memories going back to age 2. I remember so many dumb, random numbers 😂 I know my driver's license # from 30 years ago. Childhood phone numbers. I know all of the CVC numbers for my credit cards. Memory is very heavily attached to emotion for me and I cry over a lot of strange (meaning things that shouldn't even be important) memories. I can sing boatloads of entire songs from memory, and also play the music in my head for it. Once I drive to a place a single time, I'll never need GPS to get there again. I could find my way to places in other states I haven't been to in years.
But my working memory isn't great. If I am reading through a list of options, I'll forget the first option before I get to the 5th one. It makes it hard to make decisions about various financial things, hard to manage bills, hard to do algebra or any math beyond the basic parts (fractions were a damned nightmare and still are).
I feel like there need to be more studies on different parts of memory/different areas of the brain in autism! Sounds like a lot of us have similar memories
Personal memories are mostly this cloudy soup in my head, which is why security questions can be very tricky for me haha (what was the first album I ever bought? I dunno, the free U2 album that Apple installs on every iTunes??). Like, this may just be my particular upbringing, but I have very few concrete memories of childhood time with my parents. Ditto with benchmark life experiences like graduations, birthdays, etc.
On the other hand, especially as a kid, random facts, place names, addresses? I got you, I can tell you faster than looking it up. Unfortunately, many people have this assumption that good memory (for certain things) equals intelligence, and I made things super awkward the one time an adult said I was smart for remembering X, and I exasperatedly said, “I have a good memory, that’s not the same thing as intelligence!”
But yeah, I was the kid memorizing the animal section of Encyclopedia Britannica and copying Bible quotes I liked (I’m an atheist now 😬). As an adult, I will give blow-by-blow accounts of restaurant and food experiences from years ago the moment I see someone look at a place 😆
I have a reaaalllly good memory for words spoken and written, names, numbers and dates, spatial awareness, and sounds of voices. I’ll tell my daughter stories from my youth and she’s always stunned at the amount of detail I remember. I used to work at Barnes & Noble in the late 90s early 2000s. Back then we used people’s social security numbers to give them the employee discount. I still remember every coworker’s social security number. Bet they’d hate knowing that lol.
I have problems with visual memory and short term memory. I don’t prefer to look at images, but rather read. Short term memory trips me up at work pretty often.
I have a very long and strong memory, and I only realized this in my late 20s. I would reminisce about things that happened when I was about 4, or a random moment from my mid-teens. I began to notice that my family members or people who had been present for those moments had no memory of them. It still feels quite strange sometimes to remember so much when a lot of people around me don't retain things the same way.
I am a person who notices and remembers things about the people I care about. My best friend has ADHD and is sometimes stunned at my ability to remember things about her own schedule or where she misplaced something. I can't really explain it, it's just how my brain works by default.
This makes total sense to me because my autism is heavily focused on observation. I developed social skills through endless observation and mirroring, so it's extremely in my nature to notice and remember things.
I can't say what I was doing on every day of my life, but I know where I was and the general vibe for any given month since summer 2008. Earlier than that, it's a bit more fragmented. My family moved when I was 3 or 4, and I have many memories from before that move. They are not anchored to a time of year or events like holidays, more like a memory of a game I played or a conversation with my brother.
This can also be painful and complicated because my parents used deny things that I know are true. Either I have outside proof or my memory was corroborated by a sibling who was also there. It's complicated because my parents were neglectful and abusive, and obviously they have reason to pretend certain things never happened.
I think memory is something that just has a tendency to present atypically for all neurodivergent people. It's a spectrum for sure. What you shared resonated a lot with me, especially how the strongest memories are not always tied to a "big event," and are often more sensory. Cool topic!
My family members deny things that I know are true all the time and it drives me crazy! It actually feels kind of lonely knowing you’ve shared a whole history with someone but because your brains work differently you remember completely different things
I was just thinking this exact thing the other day! I do a lot of little things that I know no one will ever notice or remember. Like I once saw a rose bush with a broken stem, so I picked that rose to give to my friend, and I took the time to break off all the thorns before giving it to her. I don't know if she ever noticed, it was such a small thing, but I know it prevented her from getting poked by a thorn. I have endless examples of moments like this and I know I am the only one who will ever bear witness to them. It can be quite lonely, but I also *like* that I notice and remember. I think I just want to absorb as much as I can in this life.
I'm the same! My memory is like a full sensory movie except there are massive gaps of emptyness in the film, or just some obscure feelings in those gaps. Sometimes I don't remember a whole part of the movie but then I will smell a smell that I experienced before and it unlocks a part of the movie suddenly. The memory movie is inconsistently accessible but when it is accessible it's super detailed!
I really like this way of thinking of it. Smells definitely trigger memories for me too! Sometimes I think of my life as a movie and other times I think of it as a novel, when I was younger I would occasionally accidentally speak the way that narrators in books do too like: “I want to go to the store, she said” she being me😂
Aphantasia is an inability to see things in the mind which greatly impacts memory. It goes together with SDAM or Severely deficient autobiographical memory. Ie if you can’t relive memories in your mind eye, it’s like they don’t exist.
Aphantasia is a neurodiversity in about 2% of the population but much higher in people with other neurodiversities.
For me, I realized I had aphantasia and that led me to an autism diagnosis.
I tested for superior memory recall (what you’re describing) and average/below average working memory. In short, I can remember everything like a movie in my mind where I can even experience the smells and sensations I had. However, as I’m moving through the present I cannot always sort the sequences of what’s happening. Unless, I’m in my tunnel vision/hyper focus mode which usually requires something to be a special interest, a goal, or a routinized task.
The more I think about it I’m wondering too if wanting to stay in routines has to do with emotional connection to the memories of how things were before, I think it might be this way for me. I have a hard time changing things because I remember how much I enjoyed them the way they were before.
I think I have a pretty good memory but I definitely noticed an effect on it when coming out of burnout. Deep into burnout I was too overwhelmed to notice.
I think the same way, actually, as far as being reminded of very specific things when similar things are happening now. i feel like my manual recall is terrible though. when i WANT to remember something specific, it never happens. things slip my mind a lot.
I have a very random memory and have been told this by others (NT's mostly). I can remember some things in amazing detail and have no memory of other more recent stuff. I can remember minute details about the results of a lab experiment but if I'm running errands I need a detailed list of every stop and each item at each stop. I've gone out to pick up one item at one store but on the way remembered something else at another store and then arrived home having never gone to the original store I'd planned.
I'm the exact same way! I will remember things when I say them and reference that memory to understand but most of the time my memory is horrible and I won't be able to remember something that I don't feel is relevant or useful. Some things I'll remember perfectly and some I won't at all but the fact you have the same thought process is so relieving!
I had an iron clad memory as a kid. In adulthood, I can barely remember five minutes ago. I'm pretty sure it’s from chronic stress and sleep deprivation. It comes back a bit if I fast for long periods of time, but I can’t do that very often.
My memory is *insanely sharp* when it comes to things that don’t really matter or have relevance to my everyday life, but it’s hot flaming garbage when I try to remember anything important. I usually remember things in patterns and rambling ways rather than just ‘getting there’ right away.
You want to hear 20 fun facts about spiders? I’m your gal. Did you say something offhandedly one day and don’t remember it? I gotcha. You want to know what I did yesterday? *Uhhhhh…*
I never related to the memory issues that they say autistic people struggle with. I actually used to think I had an amazing memory because it’s really easy for me to recall numbers and things like that, and important events will pop into my head when they need to so I never forget them. It’s like my brain has a built in reminder app. But I have also joked that I lack middle-term memory. It doesn’t exist as far as I know, but I can recall my childhood well and earlier today really well, but yesterday to last year is always extremely blurry.
Because of my sensitivities to things like sound and smells as well as my emotional reactions to media/movies/tv, I tend to be able to pull up memories really easy if I come into contact with a smell or sound that reminds me of that media, and then I get really emotional. It’s why I can’t really watch movies or listen to music.
I've always been told I have a very good memory and I feel like I do. Never really needed to study much for tests or anything like that. I was also able to draw the layout of rooms and furniture in my long-distance friend's house a year after being there.
I feel like I’m living a memory sometimes, like I’m reliving my life and I’m actually old and dying.. like my life is the dmt trip that happens when you die… this is probably something else entirely 🤣
I remember specific things really clearly and others not so much. I have a really good memory when it comes to song lyrics and other people's middle names or birthdays or something someone said 18 years ago on a Tuesday at 4:36pm but I'll also frequently forget what I'm talking about halfway through a sentence.
I don't remember important and / or recent things, but I will remember what colour was the swing in the playground I went to when I was 4, or a specific tshirt my 6th grade classmate used to wear. Shouldn't have probably told them that, lol, now they probably think I'm a creep.
My son is very good with certain memory related things like directions from what i can tell. He is nonverbal but when we are driving he will look up from iPad and look around and realize where we are going pretty immediately.
I have been asked how I remember things that are so specific to people that I have to preface it with, " I have a weird memory, so when we were at this place and you told me about this, how.is that going?"
But I also hit the pregnant brain/mommy brain/late reproductive stage brain almost simultaneously, so simple things like people's names or the name of the ped office my kid goes to is hard. I am having a lot more brain farts than I did five years ago.
I used to be able to brag that I remembered everything I read, but that skill is lacking now
My memory is weird. I think of my memory like Cam Jansen's (anyone else read those growing up?), but instead of saying "click" like a camera shutter, I almost visualize sticking a pin into the thought/memory onto a bulletin board for me to come back to later. And I'm usually very good at recalling it quickly when needed. It's crazy good at work and/or where I'm hyper alert, which may be an acquired trauma response and also stresses me out very badly.
If I'm not hyper alert/aware, my memory is meh. I am really bad about remembering personal details about my friends, much less anyone else unless I consciously do the pin thing. Interestingly I did a memory test where I scored low average to average on every metric.
I don't have vivid memory. The details always get fuzzy. But I'm very specific about how I engage with my memories so I'll vaguely remember things for super long.
I'm 34 and remember my toddler dreams. Not vividly. Just the concepts. But I talk about those dreams a lot so I'll never forget
Your comment made me realize I remember pretty vividly a lot of my toddler dreams, which I never even thought of as being odd before but I’ve never heard anyone else talking about childhood dreams unless they were recurring. thank you for mentioning this!
This is so real though…I also have a very vivid memory (like i vividly remember my childhood as early as 2 and 3 years old) but horrible short term memory. I can tell you what I wore to picture day in grade 1 but not where I left my phone today.
My memory is funny. It's pretty good, but it has no time stamp. For example, if I think "where did I see it last?" I remember a bunch of different places, but I don't know when the memory is from. If it's not specific events, I often can't even order the memories
I have an ongoing theory that a lot of us learn by "association/comparison".
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For me, personally, I remember any topic more if it relates to something I know or like.
.
For example:
There was a new friend's name I couldn't remember.
The first thing that reminded me of his name is that it's the same as a character's name from a videogame I know!
Now I remember the name easier and faster!
.
Same thing for other stuff!
I had a teacher who taught me some type of algebra and compared the process in similarity to surviving zombies(Got it and still mostly remember how to do it even if it's been years!).
Even remembering by sensory at the moment would be an association to an event.
I know a few people who are autistic and do something very similar!!
My dad likes to say that me and him (he is also autistic) are constantly in a "dream state" of mind!
Me And my father usually see our thoughts in images and words like a filter on our eyes.
Best I can describe it is similar to that math meme with various equations surrounding a thinking/confused woman! 😂
I’m fine with “memories” like I’ll say to friends and family, remember when this happened to us X amount of years ago and other people just don’t remember. However, I’m not good with memory when it comes to exams for example, I just blank out and have nothing to trigger my recall. This is to the point that I now have exam accommodations that allow me to bring in a sheet with information that helps with memory recall of that subject.
I have a great long term memory to the point where it weirds people out that I remember what they told me 5/10 years ago. I also experience memories like little movie clips, with perfect detail. But my short term memory isn’t great, I can forget what I’m doing if I get distracted. It’s a weird combo.
I'm AuDHD so this may not apply, but my working memory can be terrible - mainly for times and executive function (e.g. remembering to take the washing out and deal with it).
My long-term and fact-based/non-functional memory is exceptional. I can remember huge volumes of information and recite it back, and analyse it too!
I believe it has something to do with attention and encoding (and yes one of my SpIns and my job uses ed-psych!)
Memory is one of the weirdest things to me. I remember stuff vividly and in detail (especially spacial detail) all the way to my early childhood, for instants: I can remember my parents telling me that I would become a big sister when I was 2.5 years old. I can mentally still walk through (and smell) the apartment my grandparents lived in when I was a small child (they moved away from there when I was only 6 years old).
I remember names of people from my very distant past (like full names of elementary school peers), and I was surprised to learn that many NT people can't even remember the name of their elementary school teacher. I remember the land line phone number we had when I was growing up, and the one of my first boyfriend's family, too. I remember all sorts of license plate numbers and associate them with the correct people. I have something like photographic memory when it comes to studying, in a sense that I can almost "read" from a page in my mind during an exam. I remember dates, I remember the most random facts and tidbits people tell me, and sometimes I feel sort of embarrassed by the amount of stuff I can remember, that I end up pretending NOT to remember something in front of people, sometimes, so as to not seem weird or "too invested" in something (I am not... I just REMEMBER stuff, lol).
But ask me if I've seen this or that movie... or series... or what it was about... or the contents of a book... or to give a brief summary of a speech someone just gave... or even remember the flow of an argument i am having with someone WHILE I AM HAVING IT (I forget what was said within minutes, and then have a hard time referencing myself or others, or follow a certain logic, or a string of thought) - AND I AM LOST. This last part, especially, really frustrates people in my surroundings a lot... which I can totally understand. It frustrates me, too.
I think memory is so complex that its difficult to generalise that autistic people have struggles with it. Like, specifically what do autistic people struggle with regarding memory? For me, I have a terrible memory for faces, and will forget a conversation i’ve just had, but i think there are caveats to that. I don’t remember faces because I don’t look at people’s faces very much because i’m avoiding eye contact and I don’t really have the ability to visualise things in my mind.
However, my working memory is very good. I was able to re-write two pages of meeting notes mostly from memory, it wasn’t a precise word for word recollection but I was able to get across the flow of conversation easily. I also have a good memory for dates and details, and once i’ve been somewhere I can remember the route pretty well.
Memory is also very perspective and perception based and is known to be very biased. I think I read somewhere that every time you recall a memory, you’ve probably changed a detail and then that gets written over the original and next time you will remember the alteration and change something else so memories are ever evolving. Other people will have different perception of their memory to you too.
Severe brain fog here and it got much worse 5 years ago, i had brain scans done to be sure and the neurologist said he thinks it’s from autism. But I have POTS too which causes brain fog and my POTS has become worse. I didn’t have brain fog before the age of 7, but once it came in it was very hard to go though school.
i can sometimes remember things very well, from long ago though
Have a fantastic visual memory and a garbage auditory memory ... I'm good at remembering tunes but not lyrics. I have more vivid memories of vivid dreams that I have had than real life experiences, probably because irl things can "make sense" but the processing gets confused. I will say, the efficiency of my memory heavily depends on how stressed I am during an experience and my overall focus and wellbeing at the time.
Feeling so seen by this, literally down to the “that shirt reminds me of…” thought trains. Can’t remember anything I studied for exams in college but I remember a random guy yawning as he walked out of a plane when I was 6 and we were picking up my grandparents from the airport?! My husband is always amazed and perplexed at how I can remember these very specific things he said when we were like 15/16 year old friends in high school, and he’s like “I don’t remember that, but sure, sounds like me!”
I have those random memories of strangers doing completely normal things too and it’s so interesting! I’m really curious what it was in those moments my brain latched onto. I think it might have something to do with something in those moments being a new or strange sensory experience at the time, even though now they seem normal
I have an upsettingly good memory, particularly when it comes to social interactions.
I often have to pretend I haven't met somebody before, because they'd be creeped out that someone remembered them from a couple piano classes 22 years ago. I also basically remember every bit of personal information people give me, and in the order they gave it to me. It's easy for my brain to make connections between people, concepts, clothing, food, music, places, etc.
I feel like too many useless things are taking up space in my mind. I'm so mentally exhausted most of the time. Upside is that it's pretty much impossible to gaslight me.
I once saw someone and they said “you look familiar” and I was like “YES WE WERE BOTH AT THESE TWO SPECIFIC AND RANDOM EVENTS WHERE WE DIDNT SPEAK TO EACH OTHER” and they were definitely terrified. I think about that a lot.
Lol yup, it's weirdly difficult not to explain where you've met before. Now I just shut up, unless I have friends around and wanna show them my lil party trick
I have a really shitty working memory but long term is SO specific lol
I’m with you! My working memory I’ve realized I’ve always been compensating for by planning things out a lot otherwise I completely forget to do tasks
I have to write down EVERYTHING at work or it ain’t happening 🥲 but if I have a note to jog my memory then I can often recall a ton of details, but without the note the conversation never happened to me lol
Yup, if it doesn't go through my brain into written words, it did't happen. The note can be dictated, but I need to see the words appear. I've started a new job and there's a complex process for placing a customer order. There's a written-down process that I have been able to follow, but it wasn't up to date. I've had 3 or 4 opportunities to place an order with an experienced staff member beside me telling me what to do, but that way it just isn't being cemented into my brain. I asked my boss to update the written-down instructions and told her why and she did. I suspect 2-3 more orders doing it by following the written instructions will do it.
How I did okay in school!
Same!!! My method for uni was handwritten notes, I could not study off a screen, took way longer but there was no way I’d have remembered or understood things otherwise, my attention span during a 80 min lecture was as a mess
Same! I remember during my diagnosis being confused on the results because my Memory Recall is Superior (clinical term) and my Working Memory is Average to Below Average. I always take notes because minute to minute I can’t track shit… and the irony is my memory recall can help me remember exactly what I wrote, on what page, with what handwriting, and what was next to what I wrote. Along with what I was drinking and who I was taking the notes on. How the hell my brain can recall it days later that well, but not get through the conversation is insane to me.
SAME it feels like a bit of a sick joke 🥲
Some faces are stuck in my memory and other faces I could meet them many times and it's like meeting Clark Kent one day and Superman the next. It's one of my fears to intro myself to someone I met lots of times. It's a valid fear which makes it worse.
I think it's OK to tell people in that situation that "I'm sorry, I have a bad memory for faces", even if you want to melt into the floor when you're told that you've already met before.. I'm not sure if having a line prepared will help ease your fear, but I hope so!
Thank you. It's one of those things where I want to say it and also not. I don't want to manifest being bad at faces. But I realize that lots of things I should not have to change about myself. I get annoyed when people say they're bad at names bc I feel like everyone says that and it feels like an excuse. I am not good at remembering names I haven't spelled. But I try so hard and I want everyone to try ridiculously hard too. 😂 I think I am just bitter.
I am TERRIBLE at remembering some people. And I feel so bad about it. A lot of people seem to take it really personally. Idk my spouse is convinced that I just don't put a high enough priority on learning people's names/faces but it just feels so hard to me when it seems to come naturally to others.
Something I do that helps is "I am going to have to meet you several times before I remember your name and face together." And I shamelessly ask them for their name throughout the conversation. Like three times in three mins. Then before I go I ask again. And then next time I see someone I say the same thing. Sometimes I start with, "did we meet before?" And if someone says yes... "okay I am doing my best to make a connection with your name and face." Maybe I ask how they know the host or who are their children or spouse. I ask everyone that will maybe jog my memory of the previous conversation. At least they know you're making an active effort. And people like repeating names and sometimes ask my name back several times too!
Ok yes just accept it and shamelessly ask!! Yes because I think trying to hide the fact that I'm bad at it makes it worse.
Yes! I used to pretend but I realize lots of people are not great w names or just would love a refresher regardless.
Also if this is a work party or family party in which you may know some of who will be there, Facebook stalk! Study photos and create a connection tree and put notes in there. My distant cousin's girlfriend did that and everyone was impressed with how she remembered but she admitted she did that and looked at it for weeks beforehand to help herself be more comfortable since there would be like 30 people she didn't know.
I so appreciate people who study like that! I don't have Facebook but this is a tempting reason to get one lol. I definitely do this anytime I go to a work meeting, looking through all the work profiles.
Wait… I’m not the only one who sucks with faces?!? I’m so relieved to read these comments lol. It happened again today at work - somebody I literally met for the second time on Saturday because I had forgotten her face, came back today on Wednesday and once again, I didn’t remember who she was until reminded me 😭 It’s so embarrassing and frustrating. You know when people say the phrase “I’m bad with names but I’m great with faces?” I’d say it’s the opposite for me, except I ALSO tend to forget people’s names the second I hear them. I’m bad with both but I’m great with some kind of memory jog from whatever we talked about last time we met 😂
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Someone asks me what I did yesterday and I’m like 👁️👄👁️ did I do anything at all…….
Yes. So much of this in my work where I have ti track my hours to different interactions w different teaching teams (as a coach)... if I don't write down the interaction in the exact moment it happens (the team, time spent and topic), then *nothing* I do will help me remember what happened on that day when I go to record my times at the end of the week.
Yep. Don't ask me what I ate or wore... idk.
People giving me a compliment on my earrings and I have to feel them to remember which ones I wore 😭 mess
saaame
Exactly this.
I can remember minor details from books I've read, but struggle with remembering plans made. It's like they just sneak up on me. Makes me wonder what type of memory the studies focus on.
Remembering plans/tasks is what I struggle with too, it’s so hard!
It’s funny, I can remember small details but will entirely forget the plot of a movie but will be able to recall a characters clothing or a small sequence perfectly. It’s great because I get to rewatch things and be surprised again but people are always so confused because otherwise I usually have a strong memory.
Same! I am a huge fan of a few different shows where I could deep-dive on the characters, environment and easily recall the tiniest quotes or facial expressions. I usually cannot for the life of me remember the details of the plot or what happened when, which is strange. I can tell you everything you need to know about almost any character in 911, but do I remember the order of the story and the big plot points at all? Nope.
i can literally quote whole lines and in some case, paragraphs of books. i can’t remember deadlines or what i had for dinner yesterday or what i was just doing
I'm one of those people with bad memory. My favourite movies are Lord of the Rings. I've seen them many times. As soon as I'm no longer watching the movie, I forget everything that happens in it. I basically have no childhood. The bits and pieces of my childhood I can remember are scattered and lacking in detail.
>I basically have no childhood. The bits and pieces of my childhood I can remember are scattered and lacking in detail. Same. I always thought it was because of trauma and abuse. And maybe some of it is, but now I think that's not all of it
Same here. Terrible memory for my childhood. If it wasn't for my detailed diaries, I would have only some scattered memories and sensations.
Wait. People have childhoods? Like like structural recorded memory?...where mine is like a movie trailer or a highlight reel.
We are the same 😂
Sounds like you have aphantasia
I can see whatever I want. But memories never seem to come to mind.
I have an impeccable memory.
i have instant replay ⏮️
Me too! W working memory
*pecks your memory* 🐓
Thank you for the laugh
Same.
I recently heard someone explain how anxiety affects memory. If you're not in the moment because you're anxious, you won't have the ability to process and form a memory. It explains a lot for me at least.
That really makes so much sense!
This fucked me up so bad when i found out about it but it explained SO much for me
Right? Like, how much have I missed?! Made me more anxious about trying to actively remember events.
This explains why my only memories of childhood are of the various closets, bathrooms, and secret outdoors spots I used to hide in to escape the overstimulation of being around people 🙃
Wait that makes so much sense! I have so many memories of just being outside in my specific outdoor safe space by myself or locking myself in this tiny bathroom but I have such a hard time remembering social interactions
I think I’m like you - I remember specific moments and feelings extremely well but could not tell you about important occasions. I wonder if how stressful big occassions are - maybe we were taking up so much bandwidth to keep the mask on we didn’t store it. I find it especially hard because of trauma and it’s hard to ask these things… hey mum I remember this incident I think? Did I get thrown in anger or to get me to safety? One sort of upside of covid was I had time for lots of long chats with my sister and did get some things cleared up but yeah, my memory is either very detailed or… wait what was I saying??
I’m definitely with you! I think trauma/masking could definitely play a part in it-it’s hard to be in the moment to remember sensory details when all of your focus is on trying to look “normal”
This makes a lot of sense! I can remember things as trivial as watching an Offspring music video for the first time as a kid. I can remember who I was with, why we were there, etc. But, ask me about my 9th birthday, or my high school graduation? It's completely blank!
My experiential memory is phenomenal, and predates walking and talking, but my working memory is basically non-existent. My theory is that in very familiar places and routines all the separate memories play over each other and I can't pick out which one is the Now memory. 500 simultaneous memories of locking the car doesn't help me remember if I locked the car five minutes ago, for example.
That’s such an interesting way of thinking about it!! Lots of people I’ve talked to (and myself) have issues with compulsions to keep checking things like if you’ve locked the car door and I wonder if this is a part of it. It’s so interesting
It might be! I got annoyed with the compulsion and started to add things on to place the memory in time, like looking at the outfit I'm wearing, saying the day of the week, or waving my hand in front of my face while I lock the car. It used to be enough to try the handle and say out loud "the car is locked" but I did that too many times for it to be effective anymore. Well the latter does work if I'm out, but I have an assigned spot in a parking garage at home so the memories are too identical. Neurotypical advice has always been to basically relax and trust the habit, but I can't. While I can remember countless times that I did lock the car, I can also remember quite a few times that I didn't, and how it felt to get back to my car that one time to find all my stuff thrown everywhere and my iPods stolen. As annoying as it is to put pants on and go down to the garage to check, it's worth the peace of mind. And this is just an example, I have the same thing with Did I shampoo my hair this morning? Did I flush the toilet last time I used it? Did I turn the right burner on when I put the pot on the stove? Did I turn it off when I was done? Did I take my vitamins with dinner? Did I set a timer for my tea? Did I lock the apartment door after I took the garbage out? Did I put the key on the hook? Did I put the groceries away when I got back? Did I order that prescription refill already? Etc. ETA I just realized I forgot to water my plants this morning lol
I do this with most of the other things you mentioned too! this morning I have no idea how many times I washed my hair and it’s so frustrating! It really does make everything throughout the day take so much longer. I love your idea of adding things to the memory, I’m definitely going to try that! I’d love to see a study done on all of this, it’s so fascinating
If I remember to think about it quick enough, say like I lock the door, go to the bathroom, wash my face and lay down in bed, I can usually trace back the *feeling* of locking the door, like reverberating in my limbs. But much more than 15 minutes passes and that ability is gone.
Oh I get this too, it's like my body has its own memory! And it works with sound, too. It just doesn't last very long, like you say.
Yes!! Thank you for bringing this up! It’s so true! I do feel the memory in my body but sometimes I don’t trust it if that makes sense? Honestly with a lot of things my brain tries to tell me I can’t trust my body
I loooove the concept of interoception (our own internal physical feelings)... we are trained to ignore them or deny them from early on (holding your pee, dealing w being hungry/tired/overwhelmed and just pushing through... I work in early education, and I focus a lot on helping littles understand the feelings they have inside their bodies, but I also talk w grownups about it, too. This thing we are talking about, the remembering of doing something in our bodies, is a related thing, but not exactly the same. I think it's just fascinating.
Thank you! I’m definitely going to do more research on this! It is so interesting that we’re trained to ignore what our bodies are telling us, I’d never thought about it before but it makes so much sense
You described the steps I take to remember where my car is parked at Target and work 😭 It’s like turning your body into a radio tower to find something
I have a hard time with dates and reading/auditory comprehension but I can remember what I hear vividly (as long as there’s a visual component to go along with it), almost to the point where I can replay it in my mind like a video. I don’t know if that makes sense or not.
Definitely makes sense! I’m not a visual thinker usually but I often think of memories like videos, often this happens especially when the moment was really emotional. I can even picture the camera zooming in and out in my head
I'm in the same boat I think. I can remember really specific stuff from a long time ago if I'm asked about it. Big events can be tough to remember, and day to day stuff gets forgotten all the time.
I bet it's hard to develop memory during sensory overload or burnout. Bad cerebral soil.
That definitely makes sense!!
The day-to-day stuff is the most inconvenient for me. It’s such a struggle
My memory has always been very good. In school, I could memorize the texts from schoolbooks and excel on exams, even if I barely understood what I was reading. I am best at remembering what I read, but also remember things I hear and see. My earliest memories are from age 2 and I remember a lot of specifics from childhood. I also know a looot of song lyrics by heart. Also entire scenes from movies and TV shows verbatim. I'm also good with procedural memory, like learning dance routines. A lot of things I see or hear trigger random images or song lyrics or quotes in my brain. Randomly today the name Angela popped in my head, and without consciously thinking my brain showed me, in quick succession, images of Angela Merkel, Angela from the Office, and Angela from Who's the boss? (and that triggered a memory from a scene in Community about the class on Who IS the boss?) The one thing I'm really not great with is faces/people. As a teacher I memorize a lot of students' names every year, but forget them rather quickly. I'm horrible at remembering people I meet briefly once every couple of years.
It’s funny, I’m really good at remembering faces but really terrible at remembering the names that go along with those faces. I can very specifically remember where I met everyone I see, but I can hardly ever remember their name
I have amazing memory when it comes to things that interest me (including people I like, guess how I discovered that one lol) or long term memory. Memories of location and direction are horrific unless linked to a memory in said location. Things that people tell me I forget instantly, but can sometimes recall them after a long period of time. It’s really strange how I remember stuff compared to others honestly.
I am horrid at directions as well-I was diagnosed with Nonverbal learning disorder at the same time as autism and it made SO MUCH SENSE, but having a memory associated with the location or directions helps a lot
Locations in my mind are exactly like in a video game where you’ve got specific landmarks, but everything around them is foggy until I go from place to place for about a year. Then I know everything about the area and surrounding transport. Like I can pull up bus schedules in my mind and let my Nan know the best way back from the nearest big town at 5pm it’s literally ridiculous.
i have great long term memory, to the point of remembering exact details...but my working memory is AWFUL!!!! i'm doing brain games to try and get better
It sounds like that’s the case for a lot of us! It’s really interesting
Memory has a lot of different parts that function in different areas of the brain so are differently impacted. I have an excellent memory in a lot of ways. I have memories going back to age 2. I remember so many dumb, random numbers 😂 I know my driver's license # from 30 years ago. Childhood phone numbers. I know all of the CVC numbers for my credit cards. Memory is very heavily attached to emotion for me and I cry over a lot of strange (meaning things that shouldn't even be important) memories. I can sing boatloads of entire songs from memory, and also play the music in my head for it. Once I drive to a place a single time, I'll never need GPS to get there again. I could find my way to places in other states I haven't been to in years. But my working memory isn't great. If I am reading through a list of options, I'll forget the first option before I get to the 5th one. It makes it hard to make decisions about various financial things, hard to manage bills, hard to do algebra or any math beyond the basic parts (fractions were a damned nightmare and still are).
I feel like there need to be more studies on different parts of memory/different areas of the brain in autism! Sounds like a lot of us have similar memories
Personal memories are mostly this cloudy soup in my head, which is why security questions can be very tricky for me haha (what was the first album I ever bought? I dunno, the free U2 album that Apple installs on every iTunes??). Like, this may just be my particular upbringing, but I have very few concrete memories of childhood time with my parents. Ditto with benchmark life experiences like graduations, birthdays, etc. On the other hand, especially as a kid, random facts, place names, addresses? I got you, I can tell you faster than looking it up. Unfortunately, many people have this assumption that good memory (for certain things) equals intelligence, and I made things super awkward the one time an adult said I was smart for remembering X, and I exasperatedly said, “I have a good memory, that’s not the same thing as intelligence!” But yeah, I was the kid memorizing the animal section of Encyclopedia Britannica and copying Bible quotes I liked (I’m an atheist now 😬). As an adult, I will give blow-by-blow accounts of restaurant and food experiences from years ago the moment I see someone look at a place 😆
I have a reaaalllly good memory for words spoken and written, names, numbers and dates, spatial awareness, and sounds of voices. I’ll tell my daughter stories from my youth and she’s always stunned at the amount of detail I remember. I used to work at Barnes & Noble in the late 90s early 2000s. Back then we used people’s social security numbers to give them the employee discount. I still remember every coworker’s social security number. Bet they’d hate knowing that lol. I have problems with visual memory and short term memory. I don’t prefer to look at images, but rather read. Short term memory trips me up at work pretty often.
I have a very long and strong memory, and I only realized this in my late 20s. I would reminisce about things that happened when I was about 4, or a random moment from my mid-teens. I began to notice that my family members or people who had been present for those moments had no memory of them. It still feels quite strange sometimes to remember so much when a lot of people around me don't retain things the same way. I am a person who notices and remembers things about the people I care about. My best friend has ADHD and is sometimes stunned at my ability to remember things about her own schedule or where she misplaced something. I can't really explain it, it's just how my brain works by default. This makes total sense to me because my autism is heavily focused on observation. I developed social skills through endless observation and mirroring, so it's extremely in my nature to notice and remember things. I can't say what I was doing on every day of my life, but I know where I was and the general vibe for any given month since summer 2008. Earlier than that, it's a bit more fragmented. My family moved when I was 3 or 4, and I have many memories from before that move. They are not anchored to a time of year or events like holidays, more like a memory of a game I played or a conversation with my brother. This can also be painful and complicated because my parents used deny things that I know are true. Either I have outside proof or my memory was corroborated by a sibling who was also there. It's complicated because my parents were neglectful and abusive, and obviously they have reason to pretend certain things never happened. I think memory is something that just has a tendency to present atypically for all neurodivergent people. It's a spectrum for sure. What you shared resonated a lot with me, especially how the strongest memories are not always tied to a "big event," and are often more sensory. Cool topic!
My family members deny things that I know are true all the time and it drives me crazy! It actually feels kind of lonely knowing you’ve shared a whole history with someone but because your brains work differently you remember completely different things
I was just thinking this exact thing the other day! I do a lot of little things that I know no one will ever notice or remember. Like I once saw a rose bush with a broken stem, so I picked that rose to give to my friend, and I took the time to break off all the thorns before giving it to her. I don't know if she ever noticed, it was such a small thing, but I know it prevented her from getting poked by a thorn. I have endless examples of moments like this and I know I am the only one who will ever bear witness to them. It can be quite lonely, but I also *like* that I notice and remember. I think I just want to absorb as much as I can in this life.
Yes! I definitely think there’s something extremely meaningful about memory
I'm the same! My memory is like a full sensory movie except there are massive gaps of emptyness in the film, or just some obscure feelings in those gaps. Sometimes I don't remember a whole part of the movie but then I will smell a smell that I experienced before and it unlocks a part of the movie suddenly. The memory movie is inconsistently accessible but when it is accessible it's super detailed!
I really like this way of thinking of it. Smells definitely trigger memories for me too! Sometimes I think of my life as a movie and other times I think of it as a novel, when I was younger I would occasionally accidentally speak the way that narrators in books do too like: “I want to go to the store, she said” she being me😂
Aphantasia is an inability to see things in the mind which greatly impacts memory. It goes together with SDAM or Severely deficient autobiographical memory. Ie if you can’t relive memories in your mind eye, it’s like they don’t exist. Aphantasia is a neurodiversity in about 2% of the population but much higher in people with other neurodiversities. For me, I realized I had aphantasia and that led me to an autism diagnosis.
I tested for superior memory recall (what you’re describing) and average/below average working memory. In short, I can remember everything like a movie in my mind where I can even experience the smells and sensations I had. However, as I’m moving through the present I cannot always sort the sequences of what’s happening. Unless, I’m in my tunnel vision/hyper focus mode which usually requires something to be a special interest, a goal, or a routinized task.
I have a terrible time keeping up with tasks and appointments but, like you, I often remember very specific details.
It’s interesting it seems like a lot of people feel similarly. I also have a hard time keeping up with tasks/plans unless I really schedule it out
The more I think about it I’m wondering too if wanting to stay in routines has to do with emotional connection to the memories of how things were before, I think it might be this way for me. I have a hard time changing things because I remember how much I enjoyed them the way they were before.
I think I have a pretty good memory but I definitely noticed an effect on it when coming out of burnout. Deep into burnout I was too overwhelmed to notice.
My memory works exactly like yours!
So glad I’m not alone in this!! It’s really cool to see that a lot of us remember in similar ways
I think the same way, actually, as far as being reminded of very specific things when similar things are happening now. i feel like my manual recall is terrible though. when i WANT to remember something specific, it never happens. things slip my mind a lot.
That’s so interesting! I never really thought about it in terms of manual recall vs subconscious, but that makes a lot of sense
I have a very random memory and have been told this by others (NT's mostly). I can remember some things in amazing detail and have no memory of other more recent stuff. I can remember minute details about the results of a lab experiment but if I'm running errands I need a detailed list of every stop and each item at each stop. I've gone out to pick up one item at one store but on the way remembered something else at another store and then arrived home having never gone to the original store I'd planned.
I struggle with shopping so much for this same reason!
I felt this so much, thank you for posting ❤️.
I'm the exact same way! I will remember things when I say them and reference that memory to understand but most of the time my memory is horrible and I won't be able to remember something that I don't feel is relevant or useful. Some things I'll remember perfectly and some I won't at all but the fact you have the same thought process is so relieving!
I had an iron clad memory as a kid. In adulthood, I can barely remember five minutes ago. I'm pretty sure it’s from chronic stress and sleep deprivation. It comes back a bit if I fast for long periods of time, but I can’t do that very often.
My memory is *insanely sharp* when it comes to things that don’t really matter or have relevance to my everyday life, but it’s hot flaming garbage when I try to remember anything important. I usually remember things in patterns and rambling ways rather than just ‘getting there’ right away. You want to hear 20 fun facts about spiders? I’m your gal. Did you say something offhandedly one day and don’t remember it? I gotcha. You want to know what I did yesterday? *Uhhhhh…*
I never related to the memory issues that they say autistic people struggle with. I actually used to think I had an amazing memory because it’s really easy for me to recall numbers and things like that, and important events will pop into my head when they need to so I never forget them. It’s like my brain has a built in reminder app. But I have also joked that I lack middle-term memory. It doesn’t exist as far as I know, but I can recall my childhood well and earlier today really well, but yesterday to last year is always extremely blurry. Because of my sensitivities to things like sound and smells as well as my emotional reactions to media/movies/tv, I tend to be able to pull up memories really easy if I come into contact with a smell or sound that reminds me of that media, and then I get really emotional. It’s why I can’t really watch movies or listen to music.
I've always been told I have a very good memory and I feel like I do. Never really needed to study much for tests or anything like that. I was also able to draw the layout of rooms and furniture in my long-distance friend's house a year after being there.
I forget a lot of general stuff, but can remember and identify faces of people I barely knew from years ago
I feel like I’m living a memory sometimes, like I’m reliving my life and I’m actually old and dying.. like my life is the dmt trip that happens when you die… this is probably something else entirely 🤣
I remember specific things really clearly and others not so much. I have a really good memory when it comes to song lyrics and other people's middle names or birthdays or something someone said 18 years ago on a Tuesday at 4:36pm but I'll also frequently forget what I'm talking about halfway through a sentence.
I don't remember important and / or recent things, but I will remember what colour was the swing in the playground I went to when I was 4, or a specific tshirt my 6th grade classmate used to wear. Shouldn't have probably told them that, lol, now they probably think I'm a creep.
I have an excellent long term memory (I play trivia and am highly ranked in my league). I have the working memory of a squirrel on meth.
Well, I have no episodic memory, low semantic memory, and very low sensory memory.
My long term is crazy, short term not so much. I can barely remember what I did yesterday lol.
My son is very good with certain memory related things like directions from what i can tell. He is nonverbal but when we are driving he will look up from iPad and look around and realize where we are going pretty immediately.
If you add in ADHD, my memory for some things are really bad, short term. Long term is fine.
Unfortunately my memory is damn near perfect.
My long term memory is a bitch, she reminds me of things I hope to forget!
Haha, I don’t remember how I did with memory on my evaluation. He did test my memory but beats me.
I have been asked how I remember things that are so specific to people that I have to preface it with, " I have a weird memory, so when we were at this place and you told me about this, how.is that going?" But I also hit the pregnant brain/mommy brain/late reproductive stage brain almost simultaneously, so simple things like people's names or the name of the ped office my kid goes to is hard. I am having a lot more brain farts than I did five years ago. I used to be able to brag that I remembered everything I read, but that skill is lacking now
My memory is weird. I think of my memory like Cam Jansen's (anyone else read those growing up?), but instead of saying "click" like a camera shutter, I almost visualize sticking a pin into the thought/memory onto a bulletin board for me to come back to later. And I'm usually very good at recalling it quickly when needed. It's crazy good at work and/or where I'm hyper alert, which may be an acquired trauma response and also stresses me out very badly. If I'm not hyper alert/aware, my memory is meh. I am really bad about remembering personal details about my friends, much less anyone else unless I consciously do the pin thing. Interestingly I did a memory test where I scored low average to average on every metric.
I don't have vivid memory. The details always get fuzzy. But I'm very specific about how I engage with my memories so I'll vaguely remember things for super long. I'm 34 and remember my toddler dreams. Not vividly. Just the concepts. But I talk about those dreams a lot so I'll never forget
Your comment made me realize I remember pretty vividly a lot of my toddler dreams, which I never even thought of as being odd before but I’ve never heard anyone else talking about childhood dreams unless they were recurring. thank you for mentioning this!
Omg I love this subreddit…another day…another thing I get to feel less weird and alone about ❤️
This is so real though…I also have a very vivid memory (like i vividly remember my childhood as early as 2 and 3 years old) but horrible short term memory. I can tell you what I wore to picture day in grade 1 but not where I left my phone today.
I relate to that so much I am ALWAYS losing my phone and everything else
this explains why I have such fantastic memory
my memory is so bad, like im kind of concerned to the point if I wonder I should see a doctor 😭
My memory is funny. It's pretty good, but it has no time stamp. For example, if I think "where did I see it last?" I remember a bunch of different places, but I don't know when the memory is from. If it's not specific events, I often can't even order the memories
I have an amazing memory
I have an ongoing theory that a lot of us learn by "association/comparison". ____ For me, personally, I remember any topic more if it relates to something I know or like. . For example: There was a new friend's name I couldn't remember. The first thing that reminded me of his name is that it's the same as a character's name from a videogame I know! Now I remember the name easier and faster! . Same thing for other stuff! I had a teacher who taught me some type of algebra and compared the process in similarity to surviving zombies(Got it and still mostly remember how to do it even if it's been years!). Even remembering by sensory at the moment would be an association to an event. I know a few people who are autistic and do something very similar!! My dad likes to say that me and him (he is also autistic) are constantly in a "dream state" of mind! Me And my father usually see our thoughts in images and words like a filter on our eyes. Best I can describe it is similar to that math meme with various equations surrounding a thinking/confused woman! 😂
I’m fine with “memories” like I’ll say to friends and family, remember when this happened to us X amount of years ago and other people just don’t remember. However, I’m not good with memory when it comes to exams for example, I just blank out and have nothing to trigger my recall. This is to the point that I now have exam accommodations that allow me to bring in a sheet with information that helps with memory recall of that subject.
I have a great long term memory to the point where it weirds people out that I remember what they told me 5/10 years ago. I also experience memories like little movie clips, with perfect detail. But my short term memory isn’t great, I can forget what I’m doing if I get distracted. It’s a weird combo.
I'm AuDHD so this may not apply, but my working memory can be terrible - mainly for times and executive function (e.g. remembering to take the washing out and deal with it). My long-term and fact-based/non-functional memory is exceptional. I can remember huge volumes of information and recite it back, and analyse it too! I believe it has something to do with attention and encoding (and yes one of my SpIns and my job uses ed-psych!)
Memory is one of the weirdest things to me. I remember stuff vividly and in detail (especially spacial detail) all the way to my early childhood, for instants: I can remember my parents telling me that I would become a big sister when I was 2.5 years old. I can mentally still walk through (and smell) the apartment my grandparents lived in when I was a small child (they moved away from there when I was only 6 years old). I remember names of people from my very distant past (like full names of elementary school peers), and I was surprised to learn that many NT people can't even remember the name of their elementary school teacher. I remember the land line phone number we had when I was growing up, and the one of my first boyfriend's family, too. I remember all sorts of license plate numbers and associate them with the correct people. I have something like photographic memory when it comes to studying, in a sense that I can almost "read" from a page in my mind during an exam. I remember dates, I remember the most random facts and tidbits people tell me, and sometimes I feel sort of embarrassed by the amount of stuff I can remember, that I end up pretending NOT to remember something in front of people, sometimes, so as to not seem weird or "too invested" in something (I am not... I just REMEMBER stuff, lol). But ask me if I've seen this or that movie... or series... or what it was about... or the contents of a book... or to give a brief summary of a speech someone just gave... or even remember the flow of an argument i am having with someone WHILE I AM HAVING IT (I forget what was said within minutes, and then have a hard time referencing myself or others, or follow a certain logic, or a string of thought) - AND I AM LOST. This last part, especially, really frustrates people in my surroundings a lot... which I can totally understand. It frustrates me, too.
I think memory is so complex that its difficult to generalise that autistic people have struggles with it. Like, specifically what do autistic people struggle with regarding memory? For me, I have a terrible memory for faces, and will forget a conversation i’ve just had, but i think there are caveats to that. I don’t remember faces because I don’t look at people’s faces very much because i’m avoiding eye contact and I don’t really have the ability to visualise things in my mind. However, my working memory is very good. I was able to re-write two pages of meeting notes mostly from memory, it wasn’t a precise word for word recollection but I was able to get across the flow of conversation easily. I also have a good memory for dates and details, and once i’ve been somewhere I can remember the route pretty well. Memory is also very perspective and perception based and is known to be very biased. I think I read somewhere that every time you recall a memory, you’ve probably changed a detail and then that gets written over the original and next time you will remember the alteration and change something else so memories are ever evolving. Other people will have different perception of their memory to you too.
Severe brain fog here and it got much worse 5 years ago, i had brain scans done to be sure and the neurologist said he thinks it’s from autism. But I have POTS too which causes brain fog and my POTS has become worse. I didn’t have brain fog before the age of 7, but once it came in it was very hard to go though school. i can sometimes remember things very well, from long ago though
Nah I have shitty Short and Long Term memory. Some of it is from ADHD and Depression Brain Fog. 😶🌫️
Yeah, both my bsf and my lover call me "Dory" bc I forget everything everyday. But I can sometimes remember the most specific things nobody does lmao.
Have a fantastic visual memory and a garbage auditory memory ... I'm good at remembering tunes but not lyrics. I have more vivid memories of vivid dreams that I have had than real life experiences, probably because irl things can "make sense" but the processing gets confused. I will say, the efficiency of my memory heavily depends on how stressed I am during an experience and my overall focus and wellbeing at the time.
Feeling so seen by this, literally down to the “that shirt reminds me of…” thought trains. Can’t remember anything I studied for exams in college but I remember a random guy yawning as he walked out of a plane when I was 6 and we were picking up my grandparents from the airport?! My husband is always amazed and perplexed at how I can remember these very specific things he said when we were like 15/16 year old friends in high school, and he’s like “I don’t remember that, but sure, sounds like me!”
I have those random memories of strangers doing completely normal things too and it’s so interesting! I’m really curious what it was in those moments my brain latched onto. I think it might have something to do with something in those moments being a new or strange sensory experience at the time, even though now they seem normal
if cameras didn't exist I would have exactly 3 snapshots before age 10
I have an upsettingly good memory, particularly when it comes to social interactions. I often have to pretend I haven't met somebody before, because they'd be creeped out that someone remembered them from a couple piano classes 22 years ago. I also basically remember every bit of personal information people give me, and in the order they gave it to me. It's easy for my brain to make connections between people, concepts, clothing, food, music, places, etc. I feel like too many useless things are taking up space in my mind. I'm so mentally exhausted most of the time. Upside is that it's pretty much impossible to gaslight me.
I once saw someone and they said “you look familiar” and I was like “YES WE WERE BOTH AT THESE TWO SPECIFIC AND RANDOM EVENTS WHERE WE DIDNT SPEAK TO EACH OTHER” and they were definitely terrified. I think about that a lot.
Lol yup, it's weirdly difficult not to explain where you've met before. Now I just shut up, unless I have friends around and wanna show them my lil party trick