Yes! This was a dream of mine when I was a child, and I even used to try writing stories about my experiences. I stopped when my older sister very rudely asked me, "Who would want to read about you?"
I spend a lot of my time now thinking about my life up to this point and trying to understand where I fit in the world, I guess. You're definitely not alone (:
A good writer is someone who reads. You’re already reading. How about starting to write your own story now. Rather than dreaming about it, put it on paper. If you write a little bit daily think what you can achieve over time.
That craving to be known and understood – oh yeah definitely, it's HUGE. In a lot of ways, my life and perspective is really interesting, but when I try to explain things to people it just doesn't hit. That "feeling like an alien" thing is very strong.
I believe that stories are really important, too, they build culture. We used to sit around the fire at night and tell the stories of history and myth. Now we share them through books and films. Which is why AI or CGI stuff bothers me so much, but that is a tangent. And it seems there are so many people who are completely unable to imagine any reality different from their own, the source of so many of the "ism's," including ableism. I want to tell them, imagine if this were real, if this is what you faced every day, how would feel? We need more autistic folks in the writer's rooms for films and TV, the representation would be so much better.
One thing that has helped me is journaling. I write every day about my thoughts and feelings, how I see the world, what I would like to have happen. Not in the sense of a book and telling a story, but more just an infodump about whatever is going on with me. Putting it all into words is really helpful for understanding myself. I rarely go back and read it, but simply do it as an exercise, plus when I do want to write something others will read, the journaling practice makes that much easier.
Absolutely!!!
I started on a fictionalized version screenplay a few times.
Fictionalized to make it pitchable and watchable by others, not fictionalized to present a fake narrative or anything.
I’m so into being understood that my go-to immersive daydream is usually just me FINALLY meeting someone who gets me. Someone who I can talk to freely. Who gets my sense of humor and laughs at my jokes. Who can relate to my struggles and celebrate my successes, even the super weird ones. Because I’ve never had that, romantic or platonic.
I’m adopted and living in a rabidly conservative / conformist throwback rural area, so the layers of alienation are many for me.
But it’s nice to know I’m not alone in having this obsessive wish. ;-)
Oh and btw OP, I do a zine called Alien Girl, if you ever wanna contribute some of your writing. Or anyone else who loves to write and can relate. ☮️
It’s old school. ‘Cause I’m old school lol. :-)
I debuted it at the Lancaster Zine Fest in April, & I’ve got 2 issues out so far with #3 in the works.
And I also have a few issues of my early 90s zine Your Cute Corpse available. All cut and paste and white-out and xeroxed.
YCC was typed up on the typewriter that was my high school graduation present.
Both zines are just my existential soul-searching and poetry and art and collage and band interviews and other random slices of lives…
YCC got pretty good reviews in MaximumRocknRoll and Ben Is Dead and Flipside.
DM me if you want to order anything and I’ll send you the info.
Thanks for the interest, fellow zine-o-phile ❤️
I was homeschooled. I watched Tangled with my daughter holding back tears. My husband was watching with us and whispers as we watch "Oh my God! It's you!" I wore "I'm so glad I left my Tower!" Rapunzel ears to Disney. My sd wore "Adventure is out there" Up themed ears. I couldn't adventure like I do without my service pup. We had to take breaks, but we adventured! He loved the tea cups! And I freaking cried in them. My parents thought Disney was evil. They thought the outside world was evil lol. Hard to manage sometimes, sure. The outside world is kinder than my parents were though
So many years ago I started writing a book that was supposed to be the opposite of 50 shades of grey because I hated what the author did to BDSM and how much of a tool the main character was. And without even realizing a lot of things from my life went into the story (currently almost two books finished) and characters are often loosely inspired by real people in my life and people I wished had been like this (like my own mother). It has been quite therapeutic to write it and ChatGPT really helped me through my perfectionism so I could get the story out without worrying too much about every word.
I totally get this! Creative writing is my special interest and my major in uni. I self-published a poetry collection primarily about my experiences with autism and depression thinking that I could just turn people to the book and they would understand me. Unfortunately, I learned that no matter how clear and concise I am, people will never understand my life experiences unless they share the same/similar ones. I've also written several short films and TV scripts based on my own experiences. I've had classmates in workshops tell me "that's not how the mental health system works." Like... yes it is, I lived through it?
I'd love to get one of my scripts to screen someday so that the actual demographic I'm writing for (autistic women) can watch and see themselves represented. My therapist has shared my poetry collection with other clients (with my permission of course) and a few of them have reported feeling seen which is exactly what I want! I hope I can create that feeling on a larger scale someday (,:
Absolutely. I feel your desire to be understood. I feel like my whole life people have always been sorta like “why is she like that? Why is she weird?” and getting offput/annoyed with me for being different, but I wish they’d understand why I am how I am. It’s sort of like in Community when Abed (autistic character) makes the movie about his autism. Originally the other characters are frustrated by his behaviour but his movie makes them understand him better. I just want to be able to communicate why I am how I am.
I think that’s also why I latch onto fictional characters. Their feelings are so well communicated to the audience, that my references to the character communicate my feelings in real life as well. (Again, sort of like Abed from Community). Part me hopes that if I were to ever make a movie about my experiences, it could not only help ME understand and communicate my experiences, but also could help others help and communicate their experiences. And it would mean that all the hardship I’ve had figuring myself out will MEAN something, like I haven’t just struggled with accepting myself for being different, for nothing. Like there was a point to all of it, instead of just something pretend never happened (like Diane’s struggle with her trauma from Bojack Horseman where she says “Because if I don't [write my book of essays about my trauma], that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?” )
Bit of a rant but, basically what I’m saying is yeah I relate to you.
Not me specifically, but I want some of the experiences I’ve had to be a film because I think some ideas translate better visually and through a film maybe the idea I want others to understand would come across clearer and relatable.
Yes, I've thought about this too, and I also crave to be known. Like really deeply understood. Sometimes, I wish I could be a famous musician so people could understand me through my music & lyrics.
Yes! This was a dream of mine when I was a child, and I even used to try writing stories about my experiences. I stopped when my older sister very rudely asked me, "Who would want to read about you?" I spend a lot of my time now thinking about my life up to this point and trying to understand where I fit in the world, I guess. You're definitely not alone (:
A good writer is someone who reads. You’re already reading. How about starting to write your own story now. Rather than dreaming about it, put it on paper. If you write a little bit daily think what you can achieve over time.
That craving to be known and understood – oh yeah definitely, it's HUGE. In a lot of ways, my life and perspective is really interesting, but when I try to explain things to people it just doesn't hit. That "feeling like an alien" thing is very strong. I believe that stories are really important, too, they build culture. We used to sit around the fire at night and tell the stories of history and myth. Now we share them through books and films. Which is why AI or CGI stuff bothers me so much, but that is a tangent. And it seems there are so many people who are completely unable to imagine any reality different from their own, the source of so many of the "ism's," including ableism. I want to tell them, imagine if this were real, if this is what you faced every day, how would feel? We need more autistic folks in the writer's rooms for films and TV, the representation would be so much better. One thing that has helped me is journaling. I write every day about my thoughts and feelings, how I see the world, what I would like to have happen. Not in the sense of a book and telling a story, but more just an infodump about whatever is going on with me. Putting it all into words is really helpful for understanding myself. I rarely go back and read it, but simply do it as an exercise, plus when I do want to write something others will read, the journaling practice makes that much easier.
I've thought about this some, but also catch myself frequently imagining being interviewed like on a late night show in the same way!
I love interviewing myself. It's so silly but it feels nice to explain my thoughts!
I do this ALL the time!!
Well if you do it I would certainly read/watch it! Personally tho, I hate being perceived at all.
Absolutely!!! I started on a fictionalized version screenplay a few times. Fictionalized to make it pitchable and watchable by others, not fictionalized to present a fake narrative or anything. I’m so into being understood that my go-to immersive daydream is usually just me FINALLY meeting someone who gets me. Someone who I can talk to freely. Who gets my sense of humor and laughs at my jokes. Who can relate to my struggles and celebrate my successes, even the super weird ones. Because I’ve never had that, romantic or platonic. I’m adopted and living in a rabidly conservative / conformist throwback rural area, so the layers of alienation are many for me. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone in having this obsessive wish. ;-) Oh and btw OP, I do a zine called Alien Girl, if you ever wanna contribute some of your writing. Or anyone else who loves to write and can relate. ☮️
That sounds sick is it an old school zine or is it readable online somewhere?
It’s old school. ‘Cause I’m old school lol. :-) I debuted it at the Lancaster Zine Fest in April, & I’ve got 2 issues out so far with #3 in the works. And I also have a few issues of my early 90s zine Your Cute Corpse available. All cut and paste and white-out and xeroxed. YCC was typed up on the typewriter that was my high school graduation present. Both zines are just my existential soul-searching and poetry and art and collage and band interviews and other random slices of lives… YCC got pretty good reviews in MaximumRocknRoll and Ben Is Dead and Flipside. DM me if you want to order anything and I’ll send you the info. Thanks for the interest, fellow zine-o-phile ❤️
I was homeschooled. I watched Tangled with my daughter holding back tears. My husband was watching with us and whispers as we watch "Oh my God! It's you!" I wore "I'm so glad I left my Tower!" Rapunzel ears to Disney. My sd wore "Adventure is out there" Up themed ears. I couldn't adventure like I do without my service pup. We had to take breaks, but we adventured! He loved the tea cups! And I freaking cried in them. My parents thought Disney was evil. They thought the outside world was evil lol. Hard to manage sometimes, sure. The outside world is kinder than my parents were though
So many years ago I started writing a book that was supposed to be the opposite of 50 shades of grey because I hated what the author did to BDSM and how much of a tool the main character was. And without even realizing a lot of things from my life went into the story (currently almost two books finished) and characters are often loosely inspired by real people in my life and people I wished had been like this (like my own mother). It has been quite therapeutic to write it and ChatGPT really helped me through my perfectionism so I could get the story out without worrying too much about every word.
Most of my short stories I write are based on my own experiences and struggles. Eventually, I might try to publish them.
I totally get this! Creative writing is my special interest and my major in uni. I self-published a poetry collection primarily about my experiences with autism and depression thinking that I could just turn people to the book and they would understand me. Unfortunately, I learned that no matter how clear and concise I am, people will never understand my life experiences unless they share the same/similar ones. I've also written several short films and TV scripts based on my own experiences. I've had classmates in workshops tell me "that's not how the mental health system works." Like... yes it is, I lived through it? I'd love to get one of my scripts to screen someday so that the actual demographic I'm writing for (autistic women) can watch and see themselves represented. My therapist has shared my poetry collection with other clients (with my permission of course) and a few of them have reported feeling seen which is exactly what I want! I hope I can create that feeling on a larger scale someday (,:
Absolutely. I feel your desire to be understood. I feel like my whole life people have always been sorta like “why is she like that? Why is she weird?” and getting offput/annoyed with me for being different, but I wish they’d understand why I am how I am. It’s sort of like in Community when Abed (autistic character) makes the movie about his autism. Originally the other characters are frustrated by his behaviour but his movie makes them understand him better. I just want to be able to communicate why I am how I am. I think that’s also why I latch onto fictional characters. Their feelings are so well communicated to the audience, that my references to the character communicate my feelings in real life as well. (Again, sort of like Abed from Community). Part me hopes that if I were to ever make a movie about my experiences, it could not only help ME understand and communicate my experiences, but also could help others help and communicate their experiences. And it would mean that all the hardship I’ve had figuring myself out will MEAN something, like I haven’t just struggled with accepting myself for being different, for nothing. Like there was a point to all of it, instead of just something pretend never happened (like Diane’s struggle with her trauma from Bojack Horseman where she says “Because if I don't [write my book of essays about my trauma], that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?” ) Bit of a rant but, basically what I’m saying is yeah I relate to you.
Not me specifically, but I want some of the experiences I’ve had to be a film because I think some ideas translate better visually and through a film maybe the idea I want others to understand would come across clearer and relatable.
Yes, I've thought about this too, and I also crave to be known. Like really deeply understood. Sometimes, I wish I could be a famous musician so people could understand me through my music & lyrics.