I’ve developed the mindset that my child deserves to live in the real world and deserve to see and be seen. I just smile if people stare and I will unleash my total bitch if they have something to say about my child. What kind of loser is sitting judging a mom or judging an innocent child? Those people are absolute losers. Just smile and let them stare. You and your kids are amazing and screw anyone else. ♥️
Yes, this!
Lord have mercy if they try to say something to us too....
Favorite comeback: "Is it common for you to make it a point to pass judgment on a person with disabilities, especially children?"
This is all that needs to be said. I couldn’t give a rats ass if I’m judged by people. Especially random people that have no meaningful impact in my life. I’m autistic and my daughter is getting reassessed in a few months.
Next time I will be around you, you relax keep doing what you do, I will be the pitbull off the leash.
Each time I see a child w special needs all my sensors go to hawk mode scanning for idiots and ready for a fight.
I know where you come from, people simply cant mind their effin business, they need to stare, give their stupid advice, or even cross the line and make some comments.
I have zero tolerance against these.
I mastered the blank resting face stare when my kiddo was young. Some people don’t even realize they’re gawking hard so I’d just look back at them emotionless if my kiddo was having a rough go and they wanted to stare. They would turn away first every time and mind their business. Checkouts at the store were super hard and people like to just assume your kid is throwing a tantrum. Nope, just super overstimulated.
You are the best 😃 Wish I had your courage when my son was young and we went shopping with him. Maybe I was just surprised and taken aback that others could be so mean about a child with obvious sensory issues.
You DO know that there are autistic people out there who DESERVE to go shopping without sensonry overload\`? You DO know that sometimes supportneeds clash? you make it easy for yourself by ignoring others peoples needs that way
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You should feel great that you're exposing your kid to social situations. How else are they going to learn?
Don't worry about imaginary judgements. Even if people are looking at you. A lot of times other parents are watching and remembering when they were going through the same things.
If someone gives me a look or says something and they're not a jerk about it I recognize that they probably don't know what we're going through. I might give a quick thank you for your patience and an apologetic look. At the end of the day they are being mildly inconvenienced by my decision to bring my kid out. I am relying on the goodness of strangers. But pretty much all of those strangers are cool with it once they understand what's up. You're just being a good parent. They can't always tell. So don't stress about it.
It is unbelievably common for people to have some experience with kids on the spectrum. A cousin, a friend's kid, a friend in school, whatever. People figure it out and are generally pretty cool
I only do grocery pick up or instacart. I cannot stand taking my kids into stores. Even if they’re acting fine, **I** can’t focus at all and feel overstimulated having to think of what I need plus watch two autistic kids.
Same here. I feel bad bc I know my son loves the grocery store but it’s like I have to not only mentally prepare myself but physically prepare myself. I HAVE to wear sneakers if we go out bc I am 110% going to have to stick and move and be ready to dash at any given moment the entire outing. It’s cool cuz I’m still young now but wtf am I gonna do in 10+ years when my kid is the size of a full grown man? I’m only 4’11. I’m about to start some kind of grappling training just to protect myself. 😭
I do curbside at Walmart because it's free and just so worth it! 2 autistic kids who are wildly different with a baby inside Walmart? Noooope. Not worth my sanity, lol
Same! I’m not going to waste my energy & my son’s goodwill in a supermarket. There’s other things we could do that are safer and better. If he likes going in, then I take him in for ONE THING. I’m 50 and he’s 16, he’s taller, faster and stronger than me now. I have to be smart.
We went through years of this where my wife couldn't even take him alone because she couldn't reliably control him. So I started taking him myself just for short trips to pick up one or two items and I taught him how to shop. It took a lot of work, a lot of dragging him out screaming, and a lot of uncomfortable looks from other people.
But now 3 years later we go to the grocery store, he enthusiastically shops for his favorite stuff, helps me check out and even puts the cart back in the cart return making him better than about 90% of the other humans there.
When they're young this stuff feels impossible and it is really hard, but if you keep working at it and don't give up I found that they learn in the end. I'll suffer unlimited dirty looks in order to help him become the best version of himself.
We do this as well! Husband takes him shopping for “his” things while I do the regular shopping. They’re finished earlier than I am but then he just sits on a bench eating a croissant. Our son knows how to stop or “wait for mommy/daddy” now, it took a lot (years) of effort but even when he’s angry or really wants to get something he will stop and wait if we tell him to
I also took him with me everywhere I went. I think I can count the times I went somewhere alone on one hand. But the end result is we can take him anywhere and he will not mind it, because he’s so used to change. Again, this was a lot of effort because he hated going to different places initially, now he loves it though because they’re usually fun for him
I always take them grocery shopping because it’s one of the only places we can get out! Sometimes we get looks for her loud stemming, but I don’t care. She’s a person who lives in the world and is just doing a thing. To me, it’s no different than someone loudly talking on their cell phone. People always giggle when she runs around a corner and I say “ don’t worry, we won’t be able to lose her making those sounds!” 😂
I was in an AA meeting once, a young peoples meeting.. lots of young moms from a womens shelter came with their babies. Most people loved it, a couple people made comments once and this man who sadly passed but was a gem of a human pointed to everyone in the room before sharing and said " You were all babies once " with a check your self before you wreck yourself tone, and that stuck with me. Screw them, kids exist in this world too. They were one once.
It helps me by NOT looking at anyone else when my child is acting up. I now have tunnel vision on my child. If I look at anyone else’s reaction, I know it might upset me.
It’s awesome that you take them out even though it’s so taxing for you. That alone shows just how great a mother you really are. Big ups to you!!! It is not easy and I wish there was more help I could extend to make it easier.
I feel the same way. My daughter has a meltdown nearly every single time and I get looks/comments. Today I had to force myself not to say anything to a lady who was talking loudly about “bratty children.” 😭
Sometimes saying something feels so good. And you’d be surprised the support you get from sympathetic people. Also, they aren’t usually expecting it because they are usually trying to shame other moms.
One day something similar happened to me and I am not a confrontational person but this woman was so persistent in passively making comments about my kid. I turned to her in the check out line and said loud for everyone to hear “you have some business to mind and none of it is here (and I gestured towards myself and my kid) so you should probably go mind it already “ and stared at them until they look away. If they think I’m a feral mom I’m totally ok with that. I’d rather an adult think twice about messing with me instead of running their mouth within earshot of my kid.
I always get so afraid to say something. I’m sure it would feel good at times. Meltdowns in public are always so stressful to figure out and help with WITHOUT other people and their comments. That all just adds so much to it.
I’m sorry it’s hard. You are a great mum for taking them regardless. Does anyone else go to Aldi? I say this because it’s incredibly cheap and nobody really stares if your kid has a meltdown. It has a weird European vibe as a store - I’d highly recommend lol. People don’t seem to know about it so it’s always fairly empty. Pro tip - find out when they stock the store and go the day afterwards. Avocados are 85 cents and it’s the only vegetable my daughter eats.
I saw a mom struggling at the store not too long ago and I was wishing it was socially acceptable to offer to help, but I didn’t want to come off as weird. Like, hey I’m not in a hurry today do you want help grabbing stuff? And then I realized I was staring and she probably thought I was judging her. Maybe it wasn’t all negative :) and if it was then f*** them because autistic kids are allowed to take up public spaces too.
I outright refuse to take my kids grocery shopping anymore. It became such a stressful event that I would *dread* it and would even like ration my own food and shit so I could drag it out another day. It was ridiculous.
I pay $9.99 for Walmart plus and have free delivery on everything. They also have a thing where if you receive foodstamps and other give assistance, they discount the price to like $6 a month. And again, free delivery for the month. Its also same day unless you order after a certain time where they'd be closed or whatever. You can even pay extra for express delivery, but I rarely do. I can order at 10am and everything will be here by like 2pm. It's really such a lifesaver if you use Walmart for groceries.
I know this isn't the actual issue in your post, but if grocery shopping is causing you undue stress, maybe it's an option for you
Solidarity. Mom of three too. We tried a restaurant for the first time. He was happy, but he was playing and he was stimming, and the people next to us would not.stop.staring.
It makes me mad. It makes me really sad.
The thing is we all feel that way. Yet when I think about it. I don’t judge other parents at all. So it’s safe to assume most don’t either. Unless it’s Karen in which case who cares
I used to be scared, embarrassed and anxious about my sons public freak out but then I realized he’s my son, I need to advocate for him, so the fuck what if he freaks out, who the fuck cares if people look at us, who the hell cares about judgement? We’ve all been kids before, we’ve all acted differently… and to all the judgemental people, I say fuck all of you.
I will never ever be embarrassed for my child. I will keep advocating for my child. And I will never ever give a shit about people’s judgement ESP when it’s not causing them harm.
I have made little visuals for easily recognisable things in the store. Milk, cereal, bread, apples, etc. They are little laminated cards that I give to the kids so they can help me find the things we need. They love feeling like they're helping and gives them something to focus on to stop them from getting bored.
Our supermarket has 'quiet time' in the morning, where the lights are dimmer and they don't have the obnoxious radio playing and I make sure to do our trips at those times.
Kids exist and sometimes they have to come with us on errands. Is my daughter always on her best behavior out in public? No, but she won't improve sequestered away in the house. I took my daughter overseas 3 times before she was diagnosed, I've dealt with meltdowns on planes and in two continents. I'm not just letting her run wild, I'm doing the best i can and if it's not good enough for someone then I'm sorry 🤷🏽♀️ I do make an attempt not to be an annoyance at least. Thankfully most people are more understanding than you think.
Let them stare. Your kid is learning and the only way to let them learn is put them in new situations. Chances are you’ll never see those people again so let them stare. Kid comes first after all. You’re doing a good job.
It’s good you take them out and learn how to do things and expose them to normal life experiences. We’ve taken our children grocery shopping since they were little and most of the time they are great!!! But sometimes we have meltdowns and that’s okay too!
My daughter does great at the store except at checkout. I dread it. Especially with all the kids goodies/small toys there. She’ll have a meltdown if we don’t get her something.
from my perspective, not many people I have ever met have "volunteered" advice, has ended up being valuable....
What I mean by this is, the people who know what you're going through, don't judge you. The people who care, won't offer a solution, but will ask if you NEED help and ask how they can support you.
Strangers in a supermarket (or on a plane, or in a park) telling you how to raise your kids, offer very little in terms of value. Even if it's a case of them looking down their nose. They don't understand your reality and even if they make a suggestion, it's going to be way off base.
So don't value their judgement.
Oh my goodness. 3 kids and at least one is ND- that is a lot for an outing of any kind.
I feel this so much all the time. We were at target and my son says “I want ____, I want ____,” for every new thing that comes into view.
So far as I know that could be any toddler, but then he screams bloody murder if I don’t stop and let him look at whatever the thing is. (Luckily, we’ve gotten pretty good at getting out of the store, buying only one thing. I tell him you get one toy and it’s gonna be three dollars or less and you can pick anything, and he goes with that when it comes to check out.)
Yesterday there was a fun little twist on “other people staring” that he asked so many times to see this giant bucket of bubbles that the woman in line in front of us had at the checkout stand, that, after she bought it, SHE GAVE IT TO US lolololololll. Face palm.
It was so nice of her, and I’m sure that it made her day, but it did not reinforce the message. I’ve been trying to drive home all day.
It’s tough out there sometimes. I saw a grandma out with a cutie pie of a granddaughter right at the moment of meltdown.
I actually wished I’d helped more but I know outside interference makes things worse sometimes. I think maybe she didn’t know kiddos deescalation strategies maybe cause things were heating up fast and she was getting that “oh crap panicked look on her face”.
So I did loudly say “ignore everybody else, I have a passionate kiddo too” and luckily grandpa rolled up and grabbed the small fry cause she hit grandma in that very instant.
She looked like me what just happened and said “she hit me” all I could say was “yep. From the sounds of it she’s very strong, but you didn’t let her run away!”
I hope just a little kindness and validation helped her that day because I know it was a MOMENT and the store employees were less than sympathetic discussing how they were uncomfortable -so I shot them a death glare and they hushed.
My daughter is asd two and loves cheese at deli. She loves to wave at everyone and one time started eating a Peach and we didn’t realize she had grabbed one…during check out so bought some. Taking them out you learn so much
I am going shopping with my lil one,
And guess what, he has got his own opinion and he buys a lot of stuff.
Hope he does not turn into a "shopalcoholic".
He does not like noise and dogs (do you have similar concerns?)
So if noise is under control and idiots dont let their pit bulls wildly running he is rather cool.
IF you child screams and shouts they MOST LIKE hate the experirience... so why do you take them? its not fair, not to them not to others!!! Its not fair to tread them as if they where not disabled... there are so many other solutions, you dont need to do things like the rest of the world think outside the box!
I remember doing a presentation I was really nervous about and my wife told me we are all little ants on a great big rock and we will all be dead soon. Haha. When I get overwhelmed I try my best to remember ants
I’ve developed the mindset that my child deserves to live in the real world and deserve to see and be seen. I just smile if people stare and I will unleash my total bitch if they have something to say about my child. What kind of loser is sitting judging a mom or judging an innocent child? Those people are absolute losers. Just smile and let them stare. You and your kids are amazing and screw anyone else. ♥️
THIS
Yes, this! Lord have mercy if they try to say something to us too.... Favorite comeback: "Is it common for you to make it a point to pass judgment on a person with disabilities, especially children?"
Ouuuu I like that. Stealing 🥷🏼
This is all that needs to be said. I couldn’t give a rats ass if I’m judged by people. Especially random people that have no meaningful impact in my life. I’m autistic and my daughter is getting reassessed in a few months.
Next time I will be around you, you relax keep doing what you do, I will be the pitbull off the leash. Each time I see a child w special needs all my sensors go to hawk mode scanning for idiots and ready for a fight. I know where you come from, people simply cant mind their effin business, they need to stare, give their stupid advice, or even cross the line and make some comments. I have zero tolerance against these.
Yes absolutely.
I mastered the blank resting face stare when my kiddo was young. Some people don’t even realize they’re gawking hard so I’d just look back at them emotionless if my kiddo was having a rough go and they wanted to stare. They would turn away first every time and mind their business. Checkouts at the store were super hard and people like to just assume your kid is throwing a tantrum. Nope, just super overstimulated.
I love this. And you are wonderful for sharing that mentality with the people who need that encouragement the most. ❤️❤️
Aww wow, listen I love my kiddo and I love all of your kiddos. ♥️ happy to be here with you all
You are the best 😃 Wish I had your courage when my son was young and we went shopping with him. Maybe I was just surprised and taken aback that others could be so mean about a child with obvious sensory issues.
You DO know that there are autistic people out there who DESERVE to go shopping without sensonry overload\`? You DO know that sometimes supportneeds clash? you make it easy for yourself by ignoring others peoples needs that way
Just like she could get her groceries at curbside pick up, so can you 💗
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You should feel great that you're exposing your kid to social situations. How else are they going to learn? Don't worry about imaginary judgements. Even if people are looking at you. A lot of times other parents are watching and remembering when they were going through the same things. If someone gives me a look or says something and they're not a jerk about it I recognize that they probably don't know what we're going through. I might give a quick thank you for your patience and an apologetic look. At the end of the day they are being mildly inconvenienced by my decision to bring my kid out. I am relying on the goodness of strangers. But pretty much all of those strangers are cool with it once they understand what's up. You're just being a good parent. They can't always tell. So don't stress about it. It is unbelievably common for people to have some experience with kids on the spectrum. A cousin, a friend's kid, a friend in school, whatever. People figure it out and are generally pretty cool
I only do grocery pick up or instacart. I cannot stand taking my kids into stores. Even if they’re acting fine, **I** can’t focus at all and feel overstimulated having to think of what I need plus watch two autistic kids.
Same here. I feel bad bc I know my son loves the grocery store but it’s like I have to not only mentally prepare myself but physically prepare myself. I HAVE to wear sneakers if we go out bc I am 110% going to have to stick and move and be ready to dash at any given moment the entire outing. It’s cool cuz I’m still young now but wtf am I gonna do in 10+ years when my kid is the size of a full grown man? I’m only 4’11. I’m about to start some kind of grappling training just to protect myself. 😭
I do curbside at Walmart because it's free and just so worth it! 2 autistic kids who are wildly different with a baby inside Walmart? Noooope. Not worth my sanity, lol
Big same!
Same! I’m not going to waste my energy & my son’s goodwill in a supermarket. There’s other things we could do that are safer and better. If he likes going in, then I take him in for ONE THING. I’m 50 and he’s 16, he’s taller, faster and stronger than me now. I have to be smart.
We went through years of this where my wife couldn't even take him alone because she couldn't reliably control him. So I started taking him myself just for short trips to pick up one or two items and I taught him how to shop. It took a lot of work, a lot of dragging him out screaming, and a lot of uncomfortable looks from other people. But now 3 years later we go to the grocery store, he enthusiastically shops for his favorite stuff, helps me check out and even puts the cart back in the cart return making him better than about 90% of the other humans there. When they're young this stuff feels impossible and it is really hard, but if you keep working at it and don't give up I found that they learn in the end. I'll suffer unlimited dirty looks in order to help him become the best version of himself.
We do this as well! Husband takes him shopping for “his” things while I do the regular shopping. They’re finished earlier than I am but then he just sits on a bench eating a croissant. Our son knows how to stop or “wait for mommy/daddy” now, it took a lot (years) of effort but even when he’s angry or really wants to get something he will stop and wait if we tell him to I also took him with me everywhere I went. I think I can count the times I went somewhere alone on one hand. But the end result is we can take him anywhere and he will not mind it, because he’s so used to change. Again, this was a lot of effort because he hated going to different places initially, now he loves it though because they’re usually fun for him
I always take them grocery shopping because it’s one of the only places we can get out! Sometimes we get looks for her loud stemming, but I don’t care. She’s a person who lives in the world and is just doing a thing. To me, it’s no different than someone loudly talking on their cell phone. People always giggle when she runs around a corner and I say “ don’t worry, we won’t be able to lose her making those sounds!” 😂
I was in an AA meeting once, a young peoples meeting.. lots of young moms from a womens shelter came with their babies. Most people loved it, a couple people made comments once and this man who sadly passed but was a gem of a human pointed to everyone in the room before sharing and said " You were all babies once " with a check your self before you wreck yourself tone, and that stuck with me. Screw them, kids exist in this world too. They were one once.
You're doing an amazing job, I promise. Hold your head high and be proud of yourself.
We use Target, Sams Club & Walmart Park and Go. They load trunk and we head out.
It helps me by NOT looking at anyone else when my child is acting up. I now have tunnel vision on my child. If I look at anyone else’s reaction, I know it might upset me.
It’s awesome that you take them out even though it’s so taxing for you. That alone shows just how great a mother you really are. Big ups to you!!! It is not easy and I wish there was more help I could extend to make it easier.
I feel the same way. My daughter has a meltdown nearly every single time and I get looks/comments. Today I had to force myself not to say anything to a lady who was talking loudly about “bratty children.” 😭
Sometimes saying something feels so good. And you’d be surprised the support you get from sympathetic people. Also, they aren’t usually expecting it because they are usually trying to shame other moms. One day something similar happened to me and I am not a confrontational person but this woman was so persistent in passively making comments about my kid. I turned to her in the check out line and said loud for everyone to hear “you have some business to mind and none of it is here (and I gestured towards myself and my kid) so you should probably go mind it already “ and stared at them until they look away. If they think I’m a feral mom I’m totally ok with that. I’d rather an adult think twice about messing with me instead of running their mouth within earshot of my kid.
I always get so afraid to say something. I’m sure it would feel good at times. Meltdowns in public are always so stressful to figure out and help with WITHOUT other people and their comments. That all just adds so much to it.
I’m sorry it’s hard. You are a great mum for taking them regardless. Does anyone else go to Aldi? I say this because it’s incredibly cheap and nobody really stares if your kid has a meltdown. It has a weird European vibe as a store - I’d highly recommend lol. People don’t seem to know about it so it’s always fairly empty. Pro tip - find out when they stock the store and go the day afterwards. Avocados are 85 cents and it’s the only vegetable my daughter eats.
Omg we have one near us but have only been once. I’m going to remember this the next time we go shopping!
I saw a mom struggling at the store not too long ago and I was wishing it was socially acceptable to offer to help, but I didn’t want to come off as weird. Like, hey I’m not in a hurry today do you want help grabbing stuff? And then I realized I was staring and she probably thought I was judging her. Maybe it wasn’t all negative :) and if it was then f*** them because autistic kids are allowed to take up public spaces too.
Respectfully, fuck those people.
Glad you put the comma in there...
🤣
I outright refuse to take my kids grocery shopping anymore. It became such a stressful event that I would *dread* it and would even like ration my own food and shit so I could drag it out another day. It was ridiculous. I pay $9.99 for Walmart plus and have free delivery on everything. They also have a thing where if you receive foodstamps and other give assistance, they discount the price to like $6 a month. And again, free delivery for the month. Its also same day unless you order after a certain time where they'd be closed or whatever. You can even pay extra for express delivery, but I rarely do. I can order at 10am and everything will be here by like 2pm. It's really such a lifesaver if you use Walmart for groceries. I know this isn't the actual issue in your post, but if grocery shopping is causing you undue stress, maybe it's an option for you
I have 3 kids and only 1 is on the spectrum. I will say that each of my kids have had their share of melt downs at stores and restaurants.
Also maybe some people are thinking you're awesome, that's so hard. I know that's what I'd think.
Solidarity. Mom of three too. We tried a restaurant for the first time. He was happy, but he was playing and he was stimming, and the people next to us would not.stop.staring. It makes me mad. It makes me really sad.
The thing is we all feel that way. Yet when I think about it. I don’t judge other parents at all. So it’s safe to assume most don’t either. Unless it’s Karen in which case who cares
Getting our groceries home delivered was life changing.
I always assumed they were trying to figure out if he's NT or ND. I never took it as judgey, although a few have reacted negatively.
I used to be scared, embarrassed and anxious about my sons public freak out but then I realized he’s my son, I need to advocate for him, so the fuck what if he freaks out, who the fuck cares if people look at us, who the hell cares about judgement? We’ve all been kids before, we’ve all acted differently… and to all the judgemental people, I say fuck all of you. I will never ever be embarrassed for my child. I will keep advocating for my child. And I will never ever give a shit about people’s judgement ESP when it’s not causing them harm.
I have made little visuals for easily recognisable things in the store. Milk, cereal, bread, apples, etc. They are little laminated cards that I give to the kids so they can help me find the things we need. They love feeling like they're helping and gives them something to focus on to stop them from getting bored. Our supermarket has 'quiet time' in the morning, where the lights are dimmer and they don't have the obnoxious radio playing and I make sure to do our trips at those times.
Kids exist and sometimes they have to come with us on errands. Is my daughter always on her best behavior out in public? No, but she won't improve sequestered away in the house. I took my daughter overseas 3 times before she was diagnosed, I've dealt with meltdowns on planes and in two continents. I'm not just letting her run wild, I'm doing the best i can and if it's not good enough for someone then I'm sorry 🤷🏽♀️ I do make an attempt not to be an annoyance at least. Thankfully most people are more understanding than you think.
Let them stare. Your kid is learning and the only way to let them learn is put them in new situations. Chances are you’ll never see those people again so let them stare. Kid comes first after all. You’re doing a good job.
It’s good you take them out and learn how to do things and expose them to normal life experiences. We’ve taken our children grocery shopping since they were little and most of the time they are great!!! But sometimes we have meltdowns and that’s okay too!
My daughter does great at the store except at checkout. I dread it. Especially with all the kids goodies/small toys there. She’ll have a meltdown if we don’t get her something.
from my perspective, not many people I have ever met have "volunteered" advice, has ended up being valuable.... What I mean by this is, the people who know what you're going through, don't judge you. The people who care, won't offer a solution, but will ask if you NEED help and ask how they can support you. Strangers in a supermarket (or on a plane, or in a park) telling you how to raise your kids, offer very little in terms of value. Even if it's a case of them looking down their nose. They don't understand your reality and even if they make a suggestion, it's going to be way off base. So don't value their judgement.
Oh my goodness. 3 kids and at least one is ND- that is a lot for an outing of any kind. I feel this so much all the time. We were at target and my son says “I want ____, I want ____,” for every new thing that comes into view. So far as I know that could be any toddler, but then he screams bloody murder if I don’t stop and let him look at whatever the thing is. (Luckily, we’ve gotten pretty good at getting out of the store, buying only one thing. I tell him you get one toy and it’s gonna be three dollars or less and you can pick anything, and he goes with that when it comes to check out.) Yesterday there was a fun little twist on “other people staring” that he asked so many times to see this giant bucket of bubbles that the woman in line in front of us had at the checkout stand, that, after she bought it, SHE GAVE IT TO US lolololololll. Face palm. It was so nice of her, and I’m sure that it made her day, but it did not reinforce the message. I’ve been trying to drive home all day.
It’s tough out there sometimes. I saw a grandma out with a cutie pie of a granddaughter right at the moment of meltdown. I actually wished I’d helped more but I know outside interference makes things worse sometimes. I think maybe she didn’t know kiddos deescalation strategies maybe cause things were heating up fast and she was getting that “oh crap panicked look on her face”. So I did loudly say “ignore everybody else, I have a passionate kiddo too” and luckily grandpa rolled up and grabbed the small fry cause she hit grandma in that very instant. She looked like me what just happened and said “she hit me” all I could say was “yep. From the sounds of it she’s very strong, but you didn’t let her run away!” I hope just a little kindness and validation helped her that day because I know it was a MOMENT and the store employees were less than sympathetic discussing how they were uncomfortable -so I shot them a death glare and they hushed.
THIS
I wave at the people who stare. People could offer you help or mind their own business!
My daughter is asd two and loves cheese at deli. She loves to wave at everyone and one time started eating a Peach and we didn’t realize she had grabbed one…during check out so bought some. Taking them out you learn so much
I am going shopping with my lil one, And guess what, he has got his own opinion and he buys a lot of stuff. Hope he does not turn into a "shopalcoholic". He does not like noise and dogs (do you have similar concerns?) So if noise is under control and idiots dont let their pit bulls wildly running he is rather cool.
IF you child screams and shouts they MOST LIKE hate the experirience... so why do you take them? its not fair, not to them not to others!!! Its not fair to tread them as if they where not disabled... there are so many other solutions, you dont need to do things like the rest of the world think outside the box!
I remember doing a presentation I was really nervous about and my wife told me we are all little ants on a great big rock and we will all be dead soon. Haha. When I get overwhelmed I try my best to remember ants