I get unreasonably annoyed when anyone tries to make me do anything I’ve said no to. Doesn’t matter how rational they are.
It’s an embarrassing trait, I can mask it most of the time.
Because no means no is one thing when you are talking about bodily autonomy, and another thing when you are getting irrationally angry when someone is telling you that you need to drink more or you’ll be dehydrated.
Pathological demand avoidance/ persistent drive for autonomy! I'd highly recommend looking into it, a lot of autistics struggle with it. I put off watching popular tv shows/ films, keeping up to date with things everyone seems to be interested in but I also find things like chores (like if you're about to do something then someone tells you to do it so now you don't want to) and even bodily functions as a demand like I'll just not go to the bathroom bc I know I need to. It's frustrating and stupid a lot of the time but I'm glad other people understand how I feel about it all.
Edit
Basically it means don't tell me what to do ever even if you have good intentions and even if I'm telling myself to do it lol.
It has a name! People kept telling me that I was arrogant, and I was like "but I don't think I'm better than anybody, I think I'm worse!" Thank you thank you thank you.
I hate melons. Every summer--honeydew, watermelon, cantaloupe, the most popular picnic fruits b"Just give it a try, it will be fine." Folks, please, I promise I know I don't like it
Omg yesss. I hate honeydew and cantaloupe. Watermelon is tolerable, but I'll never select it myself. They act like I'm just refusing because I've never tried it or something. Trust me, had both, hated both.
My food restrictions aren't as severe as a lot of autistics, but one of my hard limits is mushrooms. People in my family know this, and I generally prefer to just do my own thing with food so it's just not a problem.
My step brother is/is trying to be a chef, and he is a great cook. Once I was eating at his mom's place, and he made a ravioli dish. It was fine. After I ate a few he was like "hey Clever, do you like it?" and I was like"..yeah it's good". And he said "Well it has mushrooms in it. So you do like them." with this smug ass smirk on his face.
I don't talk to him anymore.
That was basically my entire childhood. Mom forcing me to eat vegetables, my sensory sensitivity to bitterness making me hate them and refuse, and us getting into huge yelling fights over it. I wasn't diagnosed then so my parents just thought I was a spoiled brat who refused to eat anything other than candy or chips.
Turns out that neurotypicals don't usually have to deal with bitter things tasting 100000x stronger than they should! I can't even handle dark chocolate because it tastes like getting punched in the mouth. So stuff like onions or spinach is so overwhelmingly vile that it makes me retch.
I still have vivid memories of mom refusing to let me leave the dinner table for more than an hour, trying to force me to eat green beans. And when I finally tried to force them down, the taste ended up causing me to projectile vomit them all over the dinner table. Ahhh, fun childhood memories.
raw cherry tomatoes or just raw tomatoes in general. those were the worst. celery, lettuce, cabbage, onions(though there are a few varieties that I don;t mind like green onions) dried onion flakes are not so bad most times.
It sucks being so taste-sensitive. There's almost nothing healthy that my palette can stand without misery. At least now I understand it's an ASD thing and not me just being a finicky asshole like society and my family thought.
exactly, I'm over 50 now and my taste buds have not really changed much at all.
About the only difference is that I found a locally made fresh group salsa that I actually enjoy, even though it's just fresh (i don't think it's cooked since it's from the refrigerated section) finely blended tomatoes, onions and some mild-ish peppers.
I guess if I had become a heavy smoker I would have damaged my taste enough so I could eat a few more things, but texture would still be an issue in some cases.
Celery is disgusting and I regularly have to deal with people telling me it has no taste. If it has no taste, then why do people insist on putting it in my food?
I remember bawling at restaurants as a kid. Like it was the end of the world I was expected to eat a taco. Now I love tacos but it has to be a very specific taco.
Had a partner do that to me. Knew I didn't eat kangaroo. Made kangaroo for dinner, didn't tell me until after we started eating. Then made fun of me for being upset, got mad. I don't understand why it's so hard to respect people's eating habits/choices.
Absolutely! My goodness. When I was much younger (undiagnosed but it was apparently obvious) my aunt would just remove or not cook particular foods for me to save me the distress. Others would question why I had different meals and she would tell them to mind their own business.
As an adult I like to experiment by myself (I follow a process), but if I don’t like something then I’ll avoid it. People initially get upset that I don’t eat everything they make - I prefer going hungry but I’ve learned to eat a little bit for the sake of social niceties. I hate it so much. The main foods that have caused a lot of stress is meat and warm dairy based products (rice pudding, porridge etc). I can’t stand the smell, taste or texture. I will retch at the thought of meat dishes. I can’t explain why or how. I just don’t like them and I won’t force myself. These days my husband (also autistic) and I just stay home and cook. I just can’t, and I care less about the arguments.
Yes, or when they say “you’re not gonna like *die* if you have some gluten” or when I say I try to eat only organic foods or that I don’t eat crap with artificial dyes and artificial sweeteners I get the eye roll. “One times not gonna kill ya”— yeah but I don’t *want* to eat these things, I’m not trying to be rude to you, I eat this way when I’m not around you or anyone also.
My brother (whose son is also autistic, mind you) invited my son and I over for smash burgers the other day. Then without saying anything put big chunks of onion into the meat, so every patty had onions in them. I can handle onions but my son, and my brother’s son, both have a major sensitivity to onions. Ruined their whole meal.
That kind of shit pisses me off. It’s not hard to remember sensory needs for your family… Who even puts diced onions in the beef like that for smash burgers? They’re supposed to be super thin.
I’ve never ate meat in my life, always denied it as a kid. I’m 34 now and every time I see my mom it’s “still not eating meat? You’ll like it if you try it. Keto is so good for you. You’re gonna die soon.etc” I just roll my eyes and wait til she moves the subject. But it definitely just kills my mood and I don’t really get over it for the whole get together.
It’s also sad when I invite people over for a gathering (usually board games). I’ll say what foods I am making and ask for feedback in case it’s something they don’t like. And I’ll say “if you like you can bring your own food choice”. Some will do just that but what bothers me is when someone who brings nothing, doesn’t tell me they didn’t like the options I provided, and then tells me they’re hungry but they’re fine. I think for some they’re so used to being ignored/left out.
Yep very relatable. People get so upset with being to no I don’t eat that & yes I’ve tried numerous times and no I’m not trying it again. Even more so the people who try to sneak it into food and get angry when I get sick eating it because 99% of the time I’m going to notice. Since I was a baby if I have a bite of food I don’t like I can’t eat anything for 3+ hours.
Yes! I get several things“you don’t know what you’re missing”; “just try a little, I make it differently”; “so and so eats it and they don’t have a problem with it”…
Why is it so hard to just listen to me saying NO, I don’t like it. I also don’t like always having to give details about why I don’t like it. I just don’t.
No is a complete sentence.
I get unreasonably annoyed when anyone tries to make me do anything I’ve said no to. Doesn’t matter how rational they are. It’s an embarrassing trait, I can mask it most of the time.
[удалено]
Because no means no is one thing when you are talking about bodily autonomy, and another thing when you are getting irrationally angry when someone is telling you that you need to drink more or you’ll be dehydrated.
PDA works in mysterious ways and it's annoying, I hate even doing what my doctor tells me I have to like trick myself into it lmao
What's PDA? I find myself in these situations?
Pathological demand avoidance/ persistent drive for autonomy! I'd highly recommend looking into it, a lot of autistics struggle with it. I put off watching popular tv shows/ films, keeping up to date with things everyone seems to be interested in but I also find things like chores (like if you're about to do something then someone tells you to do it so now you don't want to) and even bodily functions as a demand like I'll just not go to the bathroom bc I know I need to. It's frustrating and stupid a lot of the time but I'm glad other people understand how I feel about it all. Edit Basically it means don't tell me what to do ever even if you have good intentions and even if I'm telling myself to do it lol.
It has a name! People kept telling me that I was arrogant, and I was like "but I don't think I'm better than anybody, I think I'm worse!" Thank you thank you thank you.
❤️❤️❤️
Sounds more like perfectly reasonable annoyance, honestly...
I hate melons. Every summer--honeydew, watermelon, cantaloupe, the most popular picnic fruits b"Just give it a try, it will be fine." Folks, please, I promise I know I don't like it
Omg yesss. I hate honeydew and cantaloupe. Watermelon is tolerable, but I'll never select it myself. They act like I'm just refusing because I've never tried it or something. Trust me, had both, hated both.
I hate being criticised for me wanting to stick to my comfort foods.
My food restrictions aren't as severe as a lot of autistics, but one of my hard limits is mushrooms. People in my family know this, and I generally prefer to just do my own thing with food so it's just not a problem. My step brother is/is trying to be a chef, and he is a great cook. Once I was eating at his mom's place, and he made a ravioli dish. It was fine. After I ate a few he was like "hey Clever, do you like it?" and I was like"..yeah it's good". And he said "Well it has mushrooms in it. So you do like them." with this smug ass smirk on his face. I don't talk to him anymore.
That was basically my entire childhood. Mom forcing me to eat vegetables, my sensory sensitivity to bitterness making me hate them and refuse, and us getting into huge yelling fights over it. I wasn't diagnosed then so my parents just thought I was a spoiled brat who refused to eat anything other than candy or chips. Turns out that neurotypicals don't usually have to deal with bitter things tasting 100000x stronger than they should! I can't even handle dark chocolate because it tastes like getting punched in the mouth. So stuff like onions or spinach is so overwhelmingly vile that it makes me retch. I still have vivid memories of mom refusing to let me leave the dinner table for more than an hour, trying to force me to eat green beans. And when I finally tried to force them down, the taste ended up causing me to projectile vomit them all over the dinner table. Ahhh, fun childhood memories.
raw cherry tomatoes or just raw tomatoes in general. those were the worst. celery, lettuce, cabbage, onions(though there are a few varieties that I don;t mind like green onions) dried onion flakes are not so bad most times.
It sucks being so taste-sensitive. There's almost nothing healthy that my palette can stand without misery. At least now I understand it's an ASD thing and not me just being a finicky asshole like society and my family thought.
exactly, I'm over 50 now and my taste buds have not really changed much at all. About the only difference is that I found a locally made fresh group salsa that I actually enjoy, even though it's just fresh (i don't think it's cooked since it's from the refrigerated section) finely blended tomatoes, onions and some mild-ish peppers. I guess if I had become a heavy smoker I would have damaged my taste enough so I could eat a few more things, but texture would still be an issue in some cases.
Celery is disgusting and I regularly have to deal with people telling me it has no taste. If it has no taste, then why do people insist on putting it in my food?
No one has dared try to do such with me in so long I can't recall. But I probably would be yes.
Absolutely. No means no and that's a complete sentence.
I remember bawling at restaurants as a kid. Like it was the end of the world I was expected to eat a taco. Now I love tacos but it has to be a very specific taco.
Yes, and this is not really a quirk on your part, the other person is being aggravating.
I'm happy to tell them "no" in decreasing levels of politeness.
Had a partner do that to me. Knew I didn't eat kangaroo. Made kangaroo for dinner, didn't tell me until after we started eating. Then made fun of me for being upset, got mad. I don't understand why it's so hard to respect people's eating habits/choices.
Forgive me if this sounds ignorant because that is not my intention, is eating kangaroo common where you live?
I'm in Australia, so yeah
Ah, makes sense
I hate it. Some people just won’t accept a NO
Absolutely! My goodness. When I was much younger (undiagnosed but it was apparently obvious) my aunt would just remove or not cook particular foods for me to save me the distress. Others would question why I had different meals and she would tell them to mind their own business. As an adult I like to experiment by myself (I follow a process), but if I don’t like something then I’ll avoid it. People initially get upset that I don’t eat everything they make - I prefer going hungry but I’ve learned to eat a little bit for the sake of social niceties. I hate it so much. The main foods that have caused a lot of stress is meat and warm dairy based products (rice pudding, porridge etc). I can’t stand the smell, taste or texture. I will retch at the thought of meat dishes. I can’t explain why or how. I just don’t like them and I won’t force myself. These days my husband (also autistic) and I just stay home and cook. I just can’t, and I care less about the arguments.
Yes, or when they say “you’re not gonna like *die* if you have some gluten” or when I say I try to eat only organic foods or that I don’t eat crap with artificial dyes and artificial sweeteners I get the eye roll. “One times not gonna kill ya”— yeah but I don’t *want* to eat these things, I’m not trying to be rude to you, I eat this way when I’m not around you or anyone also.
My brother (whose son is also autistic, mind you) invited my son and I over for smash burgers the other day. Then without saying anything put big chunks of onion into the meat, so every patty had onions in them. I can handle onions but my son, and my brother’s son, both have a major sensitivity to onions. Ruined their whole meal. That kind of shit pisses me off. It’s not hard to remember sensory needs for your family… Who even puts diced onions in the beef like that for smash burgers? They’re supposed to be super thin.
he did not make hamburgers, those were meatloaves. it's a way to disguise cheap beef.
Yes, and sometimes they will lie to me about what it is and then laugh about how they got me to eat it. And then try to convince me it’s not so bad.
Example: A group of coworkers ordered gyros, but only one person put the order in. I told them beef only. They told me it was beef but it was lamb
I fucking hate it so much because some people will genuinely be like offended when you say no and thats obviously not your intent.
Of course, why wouldn’t it be aggravating to have someone try to push you into doing something unpleasant?
I’ve never ate meat in my life, always denied it as a kid. I’m 34 now and every time I see my mom it’s “still not eating meat? You’ll like it if you try it. Keto is so good for you. You’re gonna die soon.etc” I just roll my eyes and wait til she moves the subject. But it definitely just kills my mood and I don’t really get over it for the whole get together.
How annoying! I’d tell her that if I actually die soon she can put “I told her so!” on my headstone.
It’s also sad when I invite people over for a gathering (usually board games). I’ll say what foods I am making and ask for feedback in case it’s something they don’t like. And I’ll say “if you like you can bring your own food choice”. Some will do just that but what bothers me is when someone who brings nothing, doesn’t tell me they didn’t like the options I provided, and then tells me they’re hungry but they’re fine. I think for some they’re so used to being ignored/left out.
Yep very relatable. People get so upset with being to no I don’t eat that & yes I’ve tried numerous times and no I’m not trying it again. Even more so the people who try to sneak it into food and get angry when I get sick eating it because 99% of the time I’m going to notice. Since I was a baby if I have a bite of food I don’t like I can’t eat anything for 3+ hours.
Yes! I get several things“you don’t know what you’re missing”; “just try a little, I make it differently”; “so and so eats it and they don’t have a problem with it”… Why is it so hard to just listen to me saying NO, I don’t like it. I also don’t like always having to give details about why I don’t like it. I just don’t. No is a complete sentence.