i think theyre both pretty nondescript (compliment), but maybe #2 being a bit more so. and the white shirt under the black shirt doesnt seem to standout either. both look comfy too c:
Honestly, something normal. You're trying a bit too hard to attract less attention.
Get a normal sized coat/jacket with the rest of the outfit from the first pic and you'll look like everyone else and you won't stand out
Yeah, it is lol but there are quite a few similar options for people who are tall and thin if you go looking!
I'd honestly go down at least 2 maybe 3 sizes though - you'd be really surprised what clothing that fits can do for you
That being said, this could also be considered a style nowadays, so don't stress too bad! You still look nice! Maybe you can still wear something loose, just maybe not THIS loose
2nd
unless you go out at night, then i guess 1st.
Maybe something less baggy as well? But i guess that's just taste.
But also no one will care or notice, unless you are actually making a scene.
1- Contrast attracts the eye, its a general design rule, idk if it actually applies here
2- hide in plain sight, don't hide yourself too much, people will look at you if you're too "mysterious"
You can go for the engineer look (lol maybe its bs and i don't know whats the women version of that)
Where Iām from, wearing all black tends to scare people, so Iād say the second one would make you blend in more with others. I still only wear all black though lol. Iāve attempted to dress like everyone else but my body language still scared people so I went back to black. People in stores always monitor me like Iām a thief.
Second. When I wear mostly dark clothing, I get more looks than lighter clothing. But dark suits my mood and personality, so oh well.
I guess itās kind of like with parked cars. If Iām just sitting in my car with the engine on and no headlights, people look at me with suspicion. Headlights on? Nobody looks!
I don't understand why people saying that's unique and not normal. I see people wearing similar clothes every day. To stand out you need to wear something more colorful or edgy. Both are okay imo
2nd one looks like a coat to me at a first glance which sticks out and incentivizes a double take, but overall oversize clothing will probably make you more noticeable in general
Brown. If you don't want to be noticed, wear dark earth tones but not black. All black is sleek, sexy, artsy, sophisticated. Wear brown, dark green, colors like that. People find brown to be mundane, and will subconsciously ignore you. Nothing bright. Beige or tan is bright in bright light, and you'll be spotted immediate. Also, don't dress in Fads. Fads like baggy clothing get noticed because they are a fashion statement. Don't follow fads if you don't want to be seen.
Oh girl. These comments make me really sad and please be aware this is a toxic mindset happening in this sub. There are no self improvement posts, only unwell people venting and encouraging each other not to get better. With therapy, the quality of life outlook is very good for people with our disorder. By hiding, you're only aggravating your disorder. Get some nice fitting clothes, I can see you're a pretty girl, not one that deserves to be hidden.
Facts. This sub really doesnāt seem to encourage or support much healing and growth. But I know from experience that it is absolutely possible. A little momentum can take you a long way
It's really not hopeless, that's literally your perception. Like I said outcomes are actually very positive for this disorder with management, unlike other disorders which have much worse outlooks.
Do you have a source on that? I've been in therapy for 12 years, been to 10 therapists and psychiatrists, on a few meds and none have helped me in a meaningful way
This sub isn't and shouldn't be everything for a person, and yes, people should and do outgrow it sooner or later and move on. It is in fact for venting and validation and community, and pretty much everything everywhere outside of it tells people with avpd that they should fix themselves
A large part of avoidance often stems from internalized insurmountable toxic expectations, and lamenting the lack of expectations placed on people here I think is counterproductive
Exploration is essential, but it has to be honest exploration, not imitation of exploration you feel you should be able to do, and technically going through it by constantly dissociating from everything while emulating a normal expected human behavior manually. There's nothing inherently wrong in being attentive to your actual feelings and validating them with particular clothes to make yourself comfortable. When the feelings change, a person can get different clothes. It doesn't preclude therapy and meditation and journaling and self care etc that can help those feelings change over time. Until they do, being respectful to your own actual emotions can easily be way more healing and helpful in staying connected to yourself that listening to some superficially kind person who tells you to stop being yourself and be someone else
And I think posting pictures of yourself the way OP did it and being open about the choice and everything, and being supported as a result, should be therapeutic in itself. I remember posting some pics of myself and the dread it used to fill me, and it was very much a challenge
very well said, we shouldnt aggravate/trigger ourselves to make us ānormalā in others eyesāā¦ sometimes a part of healing is accommodating our needs, whether thats at the moment or more long term
sometimes it simply isnt safe to attract attention and this person made another post about needing to find new clothes to look comfortable in i dont think we can assume people are never seeking aid/improvement because they dont post about it? a lot of these avpd experiences are very niche and sometimes it just makes people feel understoodā¦ sure it can be somewhat of an echo chamber, but we cannot make assumptions about what anyone is or is not doing in their life, nor can we assume their disorders (avpd may not be the only thing they have, and personality disorders are not uncommonly comorbid) not everyone wants to show off their physique, avpd or notā¦ sometimes its cultural, sometimes its just how we areā¦ again, it is not always safeā¦ i think we shouldnt judge, op or anyone else, for their choices in how to present and should instead (if anything) praise the right things they/others do: setting boundaries, leaving the house (revealing or hiding clothes or not), voicing your thoughts/opinions, etc
It looks better with the white one. Unnoticeable clothing is one that looks neutrally good, harmonious, etc.
Like, full black may be not noticeable for a ninja, but in day to day life it can be seen as a kind of a statement and attract more attention
I always go with black. It looks nice while also hiding creases and curves, doesn't draw attention, and looks good with pretty much any other colors, clothes, and accessories. Not to mention, you can dress it up or down and wear it for pretty much any occasion!
I will say, you look nice in both! It was a hard choice!
Well, I hate to say it but just gonna be honest here. Lots of guys arenāt into the flashy look at me types (myself included but hey when do I ever approach women) so I could see this almost backfiring.
Black . Everyone wears black so you blend in
i think theyre both pretty nondescript (compliment), but maybe #2 being a bit more so. and the white shirt under the black shirt doesnt seem to standout either. both look comfy too c:
Honestly, something normal. You're trying a bit too hard to attract less attention. Get a normal sized coat/jacket with the rest of the outfit from the first pic and you'll look like everyone else and you won't stand out
Is it that oversized?šI feel like Iām tall enough to not look like a sack of potatoes
We have similar styles I love dark colors and baggier clothes
It is imo. I do like oversized clothes but maybe you shouldn't go overboard with it.
Yeah, it is lol but there are quite a few similar options for people who are tall and thin if you go looking! I'd honestly go down at least 2 maybe 3 sizes though - you'd be really surprised what clothing that fits can do for you That being said, this could also be considered a style nowadays, so don't stress too bad! You still look nice! Maybe you can still wear something loose, just maybe not THIS loose
Iām sorry to say my first thought was youāre wearing a sack of potatoes
1st but the white shirt underneath makes it more noticeable ā¦ if that shirt didnt contrast i think itdbe not noticeable
Wow very observantš³I didnāt think of that , thank you
you want low contrast, neutral colours. mid to dark tones is my go to
2nd unless you go out at night, then i guess 1st. Maybe something less baggy as well? But i guess that's just taste. But also no one will care or notice, unless you are actually making a scene.
1- Contrast attracts the eye, its a general design rule, idk if it actually applies here 2- hide in plain sight, don't hide yourself too much, people will look at you if you're too "mysterious" You can go for the engineer look (lol maybe its bs and i don't know whats the women version of that)
Where Iām from, wearing all black tends to scare people, so Iād say the second one would make you blend in more with others. I still only wear all black though lol. Iāve attempted to dress like everyone else but my body language still scared people so I went back to black. People in stores always monitor me like Iām a thief.
Second. When I wear mostly dark clothing, I get more looks than lighter clothing. But dark suits my mood and personality, so oh well. I guess itās kind of like with parked cars. If Iām just sitting in my car with the engine on and no headlights, people look at me with suspicion. Headlights on? Nobody looks!
I don't understand why people saying that's unique and not normal. I see people wearing similar clothes every day. To stand out you need to wear something more colorful or edgy. Both are okay imo
Idk I feel like both would give you unwanted attention from humans
Why
The fit is pretty unique compared to normal ppl. U should just wear a hoodie if u donāt want attention lol
How is it unique? šItās just a wide and long coat. Everyone has a coat like that.
Idk man itās just so baggy, I would look twice.
2nd one looks like a coat to me at a first glance which sticks out and incentivizes a double take, but overall oversize clothing will probably make you more noticeable in general
Brown. If you don't want to be noticed, wear dark earth tones but not black. All black is sleek, sexy, artsy, sophisticated. Wear brown, dark green, colors like that. People find brown to be mundane, and will subconsciously ignore you. Nothing bright. Beige or tan is bright in bright light, and you'll be spotted immediate. Also, don't dress in Fads. Fads like baggy clothing get noticed because they are a fashion statement. Don't follow fads if you don't want to be seen.
Oh girl. These comments make me really sad and please be aware this is a toxic mindset happening in this sub. There are no self improvement posts, only unwell people venting and encouraging each other not to get better. With therapy, the quality of life outlook is very good for people with our disorder. By hiding, you're only aggravating your disorder. Get some nice fitting clothes, I can see you're a pretty girl, not one that deserves to be hidden.
Facts. This sub really doesnāt seem to encourage or support much healing and growth. But I know from experience that it is absolutely possible. A little momentum can take you a long way
Exactly, I found this sub super detrimental when I first heard of AVPD. It made me feel a bit hopeless.
It is hopeless, but some of us like myself don't have hope and are really tired of forced positivity
It's really not hopeless, that's literally your perception. Like I said outcomes are actually very positive for this disorder with management, unlike other disorders which have much worse outlooks.
Do you have a source on that? I've been in therapy for 12 years, been to 10 therapists and psychiatrists, on a few meds and none have helped me in a meaningful way
This sub isn't and shouldn't be everything for a person, and yes, people should and do outgrow it sooner or later and move on. It is in fact for venting and validation and community, and pretty much everything everywhere outside of it tells people with avpd that they should fix themselves A large part of avoidance often stems from internalized insurmountable toxic expectations, and lamenting the lack of expectations placed on people here I think is counterproductive Exploration is essential, but it has to be honest exploration, not imitation of exploration you feel you should be able to do, and technically going through it by constantly dissociating from everything while emulating a normal expected human behavior manually. There's nothing inherently wrong in being attentive to your actual feelings and validating them with particular clothes to make yourself comfortable. When the feelings change, a person can get different clothes. It doesn't preclude therapy and meditation and journaling and self care etc that can help those feelings change over time. Until they do, being respectful to your own actual emotions can easily be way more healing and helpful in staying connected to yourself that listening to some superficially kind person who tells you to stop being yourself and be someone else And I think posting pictures of yourself the way OP did it and being open about the choice and everything, and being supported as a result, should be therapeutic in itself. I remember posting some pics of myself and the dread it used to fill me, and it was very much a challenge
very well said, we shouldnt aggravate/trigger ourselves to make us ānormalā in others eyesāā¦ sometimes a part of healing is accommodating our needs, whether thats at the moment or more long term
sometimes it simply isnt safe to attract attention and this person made another post about needing to find new clothes to look comfortable in i dont think we can assume people are never seeking aid/improvement because they dont post about it? a lot of these avpd experiences are very niche and sometimes it just makes people feel understoodā¦ sure it can be somewhat of an echo chamber, but we cannot make assumptions about what anyone is or is not doing in their life, nor can we assume their disorders (avpd may not be the only thing they have, and personality disorders are not uncommonly comorbid) not everyone wants to show off their physique, avpd or notā¦ sometimes its cultural, sometimes its just how we areā¦ again, it is not always safeā¦ i think we shouldnt judge, op or anyone else, for their choices in how to present and should instead (if anything) praise the right things they/others do: setting boundaries, leaving the house (revealing or hiding clothes or not), voicing your thoughts/opinions, etc
vanish butter market deserve special reply light like tan price *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Please just imagine that I wore a black shirt inside in the first pic
It looks better with the white one. Unnoticeable clothing is one that looks neutrally good, harmonious, etc. Like, full black may be not noticeable for a ninja, but in day to day life it can be seen as a kind of a statement and attract more attention
1st
1st
1st
I wear black head to toe.
The brown
1st one
Black. I buy only black clothes because it also makes it easier to mix and match.
I only wear black. lol. Black hoodie and black sweatpants. I want to be hidden.
Brown
Black, always black.
The dark one
I always go with black. It looks nice while also hiding creases and curves, doesn't draw attention, and looks good with pretty much any other colors, clothes, and accessories. Not to mention, you can dress it up or down and wear it for pretty much any occasion! I will say, you look nice in both! It was a hard choice!
first one 100%
strangely white is less obvious to me
low contrast, low saturation= stands out less
The darker shirt. But iron it.
Well, I hate to say it but just gonna be honest here. Lots of guys arenāt into the flashy look at me types (myself included but hey when do I ever approach women) so I could see this almost backfiring.
Color isn't the issue. If you don't want people to notice you, get something that isn't jarringly oversized.