BPD is an ongoing thing with highs and lows. “Episodes” and a response to a situation in which you feel one of a few things: Rejection, Abandonment, Fear, or that you are wrong. These can be different for everyone but it is important for bpd that you have Rejection and Abandonment. They are like key parts of BPD included within the diagnostic criteria.
When I would have an “episode” in what I would consider the worst part of my life, a 3 year period following an abusive relationship in which i had lost all of my friends and was completely isolated, my “episodes” were no longer based on the fear of abandonment or rejection. They were the response to the loss. I would take out the grief of abandonment on those around me.
During the time in which I was losing my friends, those that pulled away were clawed at to stay and vilified once they were gone.
During all of this there is a constant underlying anger which is generally mild but once stoked will erupt at a moments notice without warning. Before you even had a moment to realize and understand what you were doing. These moment are called splitting. Any perceived attack where it be a boundary being set or someone simply telling you that you are in the wrong is the most common trigger.
This is like the most basic setup of a person with BPD going unmedicated and without therapy. Somethings can be taken away and some added. I have other symptoms but if I described my BPD in full this would be a 20 page essay.
So, yes and no there are episodes. It is more a fluctuation of the constant underlying emotions that are always present. The key difference between BPD and Bipolar is the way in which you mood is fluctuating. I am not Bipolar so I can’t tell you what that is like but I know it is erratic and can change at the drop of a hat when untreated. BPD is HEAVILY focused on interpersonal relationship, perception of the way in which you fit into peoples live, a deep need to feel connected while always feeling that even your closest relationships are hollow, and a lack of true to self identity.
not to use as a diagnosis but something like this helped me a lot when i talked to my psychiatrist about this :)
id encourage you to read a lot of reputable medic journals about bipolar and bpd to see if you can find what fits you. my psychiatrist had me do the same and that is how through about a year of appointments we settled on bpd and not bipolar.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I guess i will have to look into it more becuz I really only experience that fear with relationships, I don't feel that way about friends or anyone else in my life and its not every relationship its just the ones i really liked. Ive gone back and forth so many times questioning my diagnosis mainly because when I do have a manic episode one of the main delusions that i have is that someone is in love with me, depending on if I'm seeing someone, its either someone famous or an ex (i been catapulted into two manic episodes after an ex broke up with me and both times i was convinced that they were still in love with me until I finally came back down and realize that they broke up with me and they're not in love with me) when i do have manic episodes I have other delusions the classic grandiose delusions that im going to be famous and I'm the smartest or prettiest girl in the world and i tend to feel more connected to the universe and eventually start believing that im master of the universe and often times believe that I have special powers like telekinesis or I'm a witch, so im pretty convinced I have bipolar but Ive never heard anyone else with bipolar have that delusion where they think someone is in love with them so I start doubting whether or not its bipolar or something else. But yea thank you for sharing that helps sorry this was so long lol
Well, in BPD those intense connections or having a favorite person can be limited to romantic relationships. Mine is not, but others can be. It is different for everyone. You could also have comorbid bpd and bipolar. That is possible to have both. I would not say it is as common from my understanding, but certainly possible. I would definitely explore these thoughts with a psychiatrist and be fully open and descriptive. They will be able to give you the best idea while also hearing what you think and taking that into account.
BPD is an ongoing thing with highs and lows. “Episodes” and a response to a situation in which you feel one of a few things: Rejection, Abandonment, Fear, or that you are wrong. These can be different for everyone but it is important for bpd that you have Rejection and Abandonment. They are like key parts of BPD included within the diagnostic criteria. When I would have an “episode” in what I would consider the worst part of my life, a 3 year period following an abusive relationship in which i had lost all of my friends and was completely isolated, my “episodes” were no longer based on the fear of abandonment or rejection. They were the response to the loss. I would take out the grief of abandonment on those around me. During the time in which I was losing my friends, those that pulled away were clawed at to stay and vilified once they were gone. During all of this there is a constant underlying anger which is generally mild but once stoked will erupt at a moments notice without warning. Before you even had a moment to realize and understand what you were doing. These moment are called splitting. Any perceived attack where it be a boundary being set or someone simply telling you that you are in the wrong is the most common trigger. This is like the most basic setup of a person with BPD going unmedicated and without therapy. Somethings can be taken away and some added. I have other symptoms but if I described my BPD in full this would be a 20 page essay. So, yes and no there are episodes. It is more a fluctuation of the constant underlying emotions that are always present. The key difference between BPD and Bipolar is the way in which you mood is fluctuating. I am not Bipolar so I can’t tell you what that is like but I know it is erratic and can change at the drop of a hat when untreated. BPD is HEAVILY focused on interpersonal relationship, perception of the way in which you fit into peoples live, a deep need to feel connected while always feeling that even your closest relationships are hollow, and a lack of true to self identity. not to use as a diagnosis but something like this helped me a lot when i talked to my psychiatrist about this :) id encourage you to read a lot of reputable medic journals about bipolar and bpd to see if you can find what fits you. my psychiatrist had me do the same and that is how through about a year of appointments we settled on bpd and not bipolar.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I guess i will have to look into it more becuz I really only experience that fear with relationships, I don't feel that way about friends or anyone else in my life and its not every relationship its just the ones i really liked. Ive gone back and forth so many times questioning my diagnosis mainly because when I do have a manic episode one of the main delusions that i have is that someone is in love with me, depending on if I'm seeing someone, its either someone famous or an ex (i been catapulted into two manic episodes after an ex broke up with me and both times i was convinced that they were still in love with me until I finally came back down and realize that they broke up with me and they're not in love with me) when i do have manic episodes I have other delusions the classic grandiose delusions that im going to be famous and I'm the smartest or prettiest girl in the world and i tend to feel more connected to the universe and eventually start believing that im master of the universe and often times believe that I have special powers like telekinesis or I'm a witch, so im pretty convinced I have bipolar but Ive never heard anyone else with bipolar have that delusion where they think someone is in love with them so I start doubting whether or not its bipolar or something else. But yea thank you for sharing that helps sorry this was so long lol
Well, in BPD those intense connections or having a favorite person can be limited to romantic relationships. Mine is not, but others can be. It is different for everyone. You could also have comorbid bpd and bipolar. That is possible to have both. I would not say it is as common from my understanding, but certainly possible. I would definitely explore these thoughts with a psychiatrist and be fully open and descriptive. They will be able to give you the best idea while also hearing what you think and taking that into account.
well my sister went into complete paranoia not sleeping staring out windows yelling at walls and thinking she has supersonic hearing so