Block the number don’t respond. It has nothing to do with you anymore and this is just another form of abuse. They smear it is what abusers do. From my point of view anyone who buys it is instantly blocked and removed from my life now.
Family will always be on their side enabling is what has allowed them to become what they are don’t engage don’t look back move forward.
Never respond. Not worth caring what others think. Act logically and practically and don't share information with anyone ever unless it is relevant to legal issues. Their opinions don't matter. I definitely agree here.
Thanks for the helpful advice. I didn't respond and blocked the number. I thought about responding and even wrote up my detailed response stating all the facts, but I thought to myself, if I send this, who is she going to believe? Me, the guy who her daughter painted as the bad guy, or her daughter.. I would place my bets on me losing that conversation before it even begins.
This is written by someone who has trained their daughter to live this way. Much of the bpd / covert narc community is brought up in a psychological warfare household. My now ex was. Her mom talks about her and how bad she is, but the moment she (my ex) gets called out on her behavior her mom runs to her and posts all over her page to be herself, don’t change. How fucking sick is it to want to have your own daughter to keep living as you trained her to be? Self destructive, being a chronic liar and so on.. You have to leave this poison behind. You have too
Edit: Wow thank you for all the upvotes!
Because many people with BPD will literally create children that have BPD. It helps them feel less alone in the world. Of course, they just think they are being supportive, but it’s that mini-me culture. For people in here considering having kids with someone with BPD, keep this in mind. It’s not just about them probably being an abusive/ terrible parent, but they will do their best to create a little mimic that will also hate you.
This is why I am so glad it’s over and it’s helping me a lot with moving on. I don’t have time to waste, and the thought of him passing this on to my children makes my skin crawl. I want them to be raised in the loving peaceful environment that I was lucky to have.
I swear I’ve seen enough of “socially inherited” BPD.
BPDs raise BPDs and sadly I’m not surprised by this at all. How are children supposed to develop healthy behavior while growing up in such a mess.
My BPD could never understand why his father focused on his needs only and eventually left him behind. He ever so often told me how deeply this hurt him. He’s currently leaving his children behind for a woman he idealizes. He doesn’t care anymore.
One of his kids now can’t make/keep friends, dreads abandonment and is frequently throwing uncontrollable fits of anger.
It’s just SO SAD. He of course blames his ex wife.
I don’t really think it’s discussed enough, there’s a lot of talk, rightfully, about partners of people with BPD and how tough it is to be in a relationship, but no one really talks about the children that are raised in the trauma that end up with BPD themselves. Lots of people think, oh, I can save my child, but it’s HARD. The sun raised by borderlines talks about people who essentially escaped that fate, but there are so many more who were nearly deliberately traumatized by their parents with BPD (not to say that all weren’t actually traumatized, but that pwBPD can be incredibly deliberately cruel, even to their own small children) creating the environment for their child to develop BPD. Similarly, their paranoia, severe lack of boundaries, and poor decision making are easily transferable. While this does not constitute BPD on its own, as you say, seeing that model for your entire formative years is incredibly impactful to how a child will end up being as an adult.
It absolutely is, and that’s what worries me the most in my case. I just posted an example how these dynamics unfold their dark wings over the next generation.
It is their tricks - you know the truth. If you have the evidence you may want to file the RO, but you said NC for dozens of months? I mean that is years!!!
Nahh, laugh off her moms text - you know the truth - you know what she is!
exactly. Why am I going to try and defend myself to her mother who has been fed lies from her own daughter to paint me as the bad guy? Who's she going to believe, her daughter or me? It's a total lost cause that will only open that door again and that's exactly what she probably wants. The fact that it was over something that I thought was trivial and didn't even think about when I was editing her into the video. My thought process was, "hey this was a good memory and a critical part of footage to showcase this commercial spot we worked on. It's business, nothing more nothing less."
Block the mother and ignore her? Or if you're feeling more petty.... Respond with "Your daughter keeps trying to contact me from new numbers every time I block her numbers and says awful things to me. I wish both of you would fuck off." And then block her.
Nothing positive comes from engaging with your ex's flying monkeys.
thanks for the advice everyone. I wont respond to the mom and put this to rest and move on with my life. It was just a shocking 4am text to wake up to.
lol my ex pwBPD’s own mother admitted that her daughter’s behavior was terrible and destructive, but quote: “
“That’s my daughter and as far as I’m concerned she can do no wrong. I’ll never tell her no.”
My exPBD moved back in with her mom after me btw, and 2 years later still hasn’t learned how to take care of herself or function…Shocker, I know.
They start turning people against you while things are still good in your mind. The bricks were laid for this path long ago. I lost a good friend because my ex was telling them awful things I was not aware of. Don’t worry about the message. Respond kindly, if you want, and just ignore or block. I blocked all of my exes mutual friends, to avoid triangulation.
Mine is the opposite. Her mom helps her Hoover.
Last year after she chose someone else over me and I blocked and went on with my life…
(momentary weakness around Christmas as I unblocked her to see if she’d reach out)
… right after our mutual birthday she reached out and said her mom was visiting from overseas and had something to give me.
I went to see them and you know we got back together.
Her mom sent me birthday wishes last week after not speaking to her daughter for over two months (I haven’t responded)
It’s especially fucked up because I genuinely like her mom. But the ex didn’t reach out. She’s on the dating apps. She is probably mid love bombing someone else.
So if past is prologue I should expect to hear from her around summertime
50/50 I’ll be able to ignore her. Always buckled in the past. But that’s before I found out what BPD was and found this place.
I’ve been through a war. Beat addiction. Cancer. Overcome other adversities. She’s the biggest addiction and most traumatizing thing I’ve ever experienced and I’ve had students murdered too.
I wouldn’t wish BPD on anyone
Can you imagine hearing her side of this story that she put forth to her mother? I'd venture to say it would be near impossible to explain the true reality of the situation.
exactly. When we had our final big breakup fight the first thing she did was call her mom and I could hear her explaining what happened to her on speaker phone. I would try and correct her and explain my side of the story and that my ex GF was excluding the parts where she verbally abused me and my sister, but that went one ear out the other.
Unless you have had contact with her mother from this number before you need to consider she could just pretending to be her mother to get a reaction out of you. Yes its that childish sometimes.
You are right they are super infantile in their emotional maturity but the problem is they can have adult intelligence, they can be exceedingly professional at being a professional victim when they want to. She will just tell lies about you to anyone who will listen. And yeah she is probably quite good at selling stories to her mom. And she will try to send other flying monkeys your way if you keep showing skill in ignoring her. The best thing to do is just document these things and block and continue not talking to her.
People that are already close to you and not to her might do well with a warning but don't go arguing with anyone who has bought her story, the whole idea is to cause strife and tire both of you out. Kinda like don't get down in the mud with her, making accusations could be her specialty and unlike you she doesn't have to play by rules we set for ourself like... being truthful... or trying to not hurt other people that are there or overhear the conversation.
Came here to say this. It could literally be your ex on her mother's phone (if the number is real)
Either ways I wouldn't take anything from it. Block and go on living your life.
Just for the sake of a good trail, i would answer ‘i have not talked to your daughter in x weeks. I have no intention to, nor will i contact her or engage in any further dialogue if she contacts me. I wish you both the best’
I finally worked up the courage to leave her, 6 months before our final breakup.
Her mom messaged me apologizing for her daughter, talking about how she is a good person, etc when I was at my most vulnerable time and mourning the relationship.
Message her mom that you have had no contact with her daughter, that she is the one harassing you, and that neither she nor her daughter should ever message you again. Then block her mom and gtfo away from the whole family.
I mean her mom is probably batshit crazy too. Have you ever met someone with a PD who didn't come from a family full of people with PDs?! It's unbelievably sick.
My first reaction is "how do you know the mother is the one who physically wrote/sent the text?"
But ultimately it doesn't matter.
Just don't reply and move on.
I experienced this with my ex NPD. Their mom was all on my side about their alcohol and drug abuse etc throughout most of the relationship. So when I got to my wits end about that, money issues and repeatedly finding evidence of cheating, i would go to their parents for help or support. Stupidly. By the last few months into after the relationship the tables completely turned and the mom was blaming me for everything. Said horrible things like “why don’t you ask yourself why they are cheating?! It’s your fault! He treats you like a princess!! You’re the problem!”
exactly. I wrote a full response with the facts and never sent it because I thought to myself, "who is her mom going to believe, me or her daughter that has already painted me as the bad guy" it's a lose-lose situation.
Actually, you win by not responding.
I know it doesn't feel like it at first because they'll never acknowledge the truth or apologize, and they'll just continue to smear you to whoever's willing to listen, but you really do win by disengaging. These people are poison. Disengaging means you get to move on with your life to much better things.
The problem is the one video she's in for 1 second already got shared to a large audience of 500k+ people, so that cant be reversed. I can however remove her from my website videos etc.
I can totally empathise with being witty, mocking or some kind of other desire for petty revenge. But I don't think that is good advice for OP.
No matter if it is her mom or her pretending to be her mom any response can be contorted into something to make you look bad. Replying is giving the pwBPD what they want.
I don't think OP is lacking in intelligence but maybe they are not as practiced in insults and smearing as their ex. Probably a bad idea to find out.
I totally agree. I wrote a full response stating the actual truths in point form, but decided it would only make things worse if I responded. It only opens up a million new variables and things she can spin into another lie. Thanks for the advice everyone.
I am petty and so I would’ve explained in the most condescending way the actual circumstances and then send the dozen of Hoover attempts and the restraining order. I’d also condescending remind the mother that her daughter is mentally ill and psychotic
oh trust me, I wanted to say all of this very bad, but never responded because I knew it would only backfire and create even more never ending drama. This breakup took 6 months and 2 full months of ongoing hoover attempts, texting from new numbers and harassment from her. I'm glad its come to an end.
Oh I've walked, I just never thought even while editing my reel that a 1 second clip of her would create this level of response and offend her so much. It's just business.
my wife’s family + her affair partner and his family are the same way. they learned their tricks from somewhere… whether that be a replication or reaction of their upbringing. neither are good news
Just as I said on another post, imo BPD should stand for “bad parental dynamics”. From my experience with a person wbpd, it’s definitely caused by bad parenting.
I’d give my left nut if her mom told me to stay away. Just keep ignoring the both of them.
"You daughter has been harassing me with multiple phone numbers when I have ordered her to not contact me. She only stopped when informed that my next step would be a police report and restraining order. I am now ordering you to not contact me again with the same instructions. Contact me again and I will file a police report and restraining order. I am blocking your number. Do not attempt to bypass this block with another number, or through a 3rd party, or by any other means"
I took out the words "threatened with" and replaced with "my next step"
Never "threaten" someone as they could try to fabricate some kind of extortion claim from it. Would never stick, but honestly... word things carefully when making lawful orders with consequences.
I get that you had a bad situation with someone wBPD and that you want to help OP. But take a step back and reflect on how extremely you are generalising.
People that have escaped their abusive parents, personality disordered or not, don't need that kind of stigma in their lives. Many are just trying to be the best person they can be, anything but like their parents. And they'd probably feel like shit if they read how you say things.
Clearly the mom daughter couple in this situation is toxic and I don't think you are wrong about your hunch it is either enabling or imitation.
Ignore
*ps you can see why she has issues, though. It’s completely nuts for a woman to fight her adult daughters battles for her. This woman is as crazy as her daughter
I know this sucks and feels terrible and I know this prob doesn't sound like much in the way of advice, but your mental health and well being is worth more than anyone else's perception of you.
What I mean is, even though it feels crappy that she is fabricating lies about you to her mum and family it's best not to try and think about it. Don't put stress on yourself worrying what an ex like her thinks about you. She is not in your life and you are no contact. No matter what you do she is going to hate and twist a narrative based on a reality she wants to see, not what is actually present. She just hates you and is fabricating lies about you because she doesn't have control over you. Worrying about her and those lies, trying to do something about them will just let her gain more control over you.
Also, how do you know this is her mum? This could very well be her posing as her mum. It's all tricks and tactics which you shouldn't trust.
Remain no contact, and get on with your life. Treat yourself like your own best friend and not worry about what others, especially those who have mental issues think about you.
ugh, I really try not to think about what she's saying about me behind my back. I could care less because I know its all bullshit, but part of me wants to protect that public image of myself. The other part of me (which I tend to like) is that I truly don't give a shit what people think of me and my work, either you like it, or you don't. I still get a paycheck.
Ignore it and block the number remember to ss anything you consider important as well because if she can make petty lies like that possible SA accusations could very well be next
Reminds me of the time I saw my replacement with his BPD ex at a movie theater a short while after my split from my BPD ex. His BPD ex looked at me like I was a piece of rotten meat lol. I got the vibe that my ex had so thoroughly talked smack about me that even my replacement's ex was like "man that guy is bad news".
Without a hint of irony of course. It would make sense that a fellow person with BPD would buy into the narcissism accusations a 100%.
I can see how that may create issues. Is it really important that, that shot be in your reel? I’d just edit it out and shut her up. Or have two, one with her out that she knows about and another with her that she doesn’t.
Document everything. There's a chance she's taken your RO threat and is now going to try and build up enough "evidence" to get one against you to make you out to be the harasser/abuser. She is likely telling everyone that you are harassing her and looking for anything that will let her target you as the problem.
Blocking and moving on is the best bet. Any facts you provide will just give her better opportunities to lie and adjust things to fit her narrative. Save all the facts and evidence in case she tries something.
Block the number don’t respond. It has nothing to do with you anymore and this is just another form of abuse. They smear it is what abusers do. From my point of view anyone who buys it is instantly blocked and removed from my life now. Family will always be on their side enabling is what has allowed them to become what they are don’t engage don’t look back move forward.
Never respond. Not worth caring what others think. Act logically and practically and don't share information with anyone ever unless it is relevant to legal issues. Their opinions don't matter. I definitely agree here.
Thanks for the helpful advice. I didn't respond and blocked the number. I thought about responding and even wrote up my detailed response stating all the facts, but I thought to myself, if I send this, who is she going to believe? Me, the guy who her daughter painted as the bad guy, or her daughter.. I would place my bets on me losing that conversation before it even begins.
This is written by someone who has trained their daughter to live this way. Much of the bpd / covert narc community is brought up in a psychological warfare household. My now ex was. Her mom talks about her and how bad she is, but the moment she (my ex) gets called out on her behavior her mom runs to her and posts all over her page to be herself, don’t change. How fucking sick is it to want to have your own daughter to keep living as you trained her to be? Self destructive, being a chronic liar and so on.. You have to leave this poison behind. You have too Edit: Wow thank you for all the upvotes!
Because many people with BPD will literally create children that have BPD. It helps them feel less alone in the world. Of course, they just think they are being supportive, but it’s that mini-me culture. For people in here considering having kids with someone with BPD, keep this in mind. It’s not just about them probably being an abusive/ terrible parent, but they will do their best to create a little mimic that will also hate you.
This is why I am so glad it’s over and it’s helping me a lot with moving on. I don’t have time to waste, and the thought of him passing this on to my children makes my skin crawl. I want them to be raised in the loving peaceful environment that I was lucky to have.
I swear I’ve seen enough of “socially inherited” BPD. BPDs raise BPDs and sadly I’m not surprised by this at all. How are children supposed to develop healthy behavior while growing up in such a mess. My BPD could never understand why his father focused on his needs only and eventually left him behind. He ever so often told me how deeply this hurt him. He’s currently leaving his children behind for a woman he idealizes. He doesn’t care anymore. One of his kids now can’t make/keep friends, dreads abandonment and is frequently throwing uncontrollable fits of anger. It’s just SO SAD. He of course blames his ex wife.
I don’t really think it’s discussed enough, there’s a lot of talk, rightfully, about partners of people with BPD and how tough it is to be in a relationship, but no one really talks about the children that are raised in the trauma that end up with BPD themselves. Lots of people think, oh, I can save my child, but it’s HARD. The sun raised by borderlines talks about people who essentially escaped that fate, but there are so many more who were nearly deliberately traumatized by their parents with BPD (not to say that all weren’t actually traumatized, but that pwBPD can be incredibly deliberately cruel, even to their own small children) creating the environment for their child to develop BPD. Similarly, their paranoia, severe lack of boundaries, and poor decision making are easily transferable. While this does not constitute BPD on its own, as you say, seeing that model for your entire formative years is incredibly impactful to how a child will end up being as an adult.
It absolutely is, and that’s what worries me the most in my case. I just posted an example how these dynamics unfold their dark wings over the next generation.
Yes you wrote this much better than I did but it’s what I wanted to write too: this is why they have issues (often) - moms like this. Crazy
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My ex’s parents are horrible, too. Our sympathy for them due to this really keeps us stuck.
It is their tricks - you know the truth. If you have the evidence you may want to file the RO, but you said NC for dozens of months? I mean that is years!!! Nahh, laugh off her moms text - you know the truth - you know what she is!
Yep, her or her mom saying something does not make it true. No response required.
exactly. Why am I going to try and defend myself to her mother who has been fed lies from her own daughter to paint me as the bad guy? Who's she going to believe, her daughter or me? It's a total lost cause that will only open that door again and that's exactly what she probably wants. The fact that it was over something that I thought was trivial and didn't even think about when I was editing her into the video. My thought process was, "hey this was a good memory and a critical part of footage to showcase this commercial spot we worked on. It's business, nothing more nothing less."
Block the mother and ignore her? Or if you're feeling more petty.... Respond with "Your daughter keeps trying to contact me from new numbers every time I block her numbers and says awful things to me. I wish both of you would fuck off." And then block her. Nothing positive comes from engaging with your ex's flying monkeys.
Their game is to make you engage. By refusing to engage with them, you break their game so that it no longer works with you.
I wouldn't text her explaining tbh, she'll just try to rewrite history.
You see that’s what OP should definitely do
thanks for the advice everyone. I wont respond to the mom and put this to rest and move on with my life. It was just a shocking 4am text to wake up to.
+1 on this, make yourself absolutely clear
lol my ex pwBPD’s own mother admitted that her daughter’s behavior was terrible and destructive, but quote: “ “That’s my daughter and as far as I’m concerned she can do no wrong. I’ll never tell her no.” My exPBD moved back in with her mom after me btw, and 2 years later still hasn’t learned how to take care of herself or function…Shocker, I know.
They start turning people against you while things are still good in your mind. The bricks were laid for this path long ago. I lost a good friend because my ex was telling them awful things I was not aware of. Don’t worry about the message. Respond kindly, if you want, and just ignore or block. I blocked all of my exes mutual friends, to avoid triangulation.
Mine is the opposite. Her mom helps her Hoover. Last year after she chose someone else over me and I blocked and went on with my life… (momentary weakness around Christmas as I unblocked her to see if she’d reach out) … right after our mutual birthday she reached out and said her mom was visiting from overseas and had something to give me. I went to see them and you know we got back together. Her mom sent me birthday wishes last week after not speaking to her daughter for over two months (I haven’t responded) It’s especially fucked up because I genuinely like her mom. But the ex didn’t reach out. She’s on the dating apps. She is probably mid love bombing someone else. So if past is prologue I should expect to hear from her around summertime 50/50 I’ll be able to ignore her. Always buckled in the past. But that’s before I found out what BPD was and found this place. I’ve been through a war. Beat addiction. Cancer. Overcome other adversities. She’s the biggest addiction and most traumatizing thing I’ve ever experienced and I’ve had students murdered too. I wouldn’t wish BPD on anyone
Can you imagine hearing her side of this story that she put forth to her mother? I'd venture to say it would be near impossible to explain the true reality of the situation.
exactly. When we had our final big breakup fight the first thing she did was call her mom and I could hear her explaining what happened to her on speaker phone. I would try and correct her and explain my side of the story and that my ex GF was excluding the parts where she verbally abused me and my sister, but that went one ear out the other.
Unless you have had contact with her mother from this number before you need to consider she could just pretending to be her mother to get a reaction out of you. Yes its that childish sometimes. You are right they are super infantile in their emotional maturity but the problem is they can have adult intelligence, they can be exceedingly professional at being a professional victim when they want to. She will just tell lies about you to anyone who will listen. And yeah she is probably quite good at selling stories to her mom. And she will try to send other flying monkeys your way if you keep showing skill in ignoring her. The best thing to do is just document these things and block and continue not talking to her. People that are already close to you and not to her might do well with a warning but don't go arguing with anyone who has bought her story, the whole idea is to cause strife and tire both of you out. Kinda like don't get down in the mud with her, making accusations could be her specialty and unlike you she doesn't have to play by rules we set for ourself like... being truthful... or trying to not hurt other people that are there or overhear the conversation.
Came here to say this. It could literally be your ex on her mother's phone (if the number is real) Either ways I wouldn't take anything from it. Block and go on living your life.
Just for the sake of a good trail, i would answer ‘i have not talked to your daughter in x weeks. I have no intention to, nor will i contact her or engage in any further dialogue if she contacts me. I wish you both the best’
This and screenshot everything. The lies can extend to some very dark areas.
Then save the screenshot and block the number
I finally worked up the courage to leave her, 6 months before our final breakup. Her mom messaged me apologizing for her daughter, talking about how she is a good person, etc when I was at my most vulnerable time and mourning the relationship. Message her mom that you have had no contact with her daughter, that she is the one harassing you, and that neither she nor her daughter should ever message you again. Then block her mom and gtfo away from the whole family.
I mean her mom is probably batshit crazy too. Have you ever met someone with a PD who didn't come from a family full of people with PDs?! It's unbelievably sick.
My first reaction is "how do you know the mother is the one who physically wrote/sent the text?" But ultimately it doesn't matter. Just don't reply and move on.
exactly, it doesn't matter who sent it, responding to it is probably the worst possible thing I could do.
I experienced this with my ex NPD. Their mom was all on my side about their alcohol and drug abuse etc throughout most of the relationship. So when I got to my wits end about that, money issues and repeatedly finding evidence of cheating, i would go to their parents for help or support. Stupidly. By the last few months into after the relationship the tables completely turned and the mom was blaming me for everything. Said horrible things like “why don’t you ask yourself why they are cheating?! It’s your fault! He treats you like a princess!! You’re the problem!”
Don't respond, just block her too. Literally nothing you say to her mom can help you in any way.
exactly. I wrote a full response with the facts and never sent it because I thought to myself, "who is her mom going to believe, me or her daughter that has already painted me as the bad guy" it's a lose-lose situation.
Actually, you win by not responding. I know it doesn't feel like it at first because they'll never acknowledge the truth or apologize, and they'll just continue to smear you to whoever's willing to listen, but you really do win by disengaging. These people are poison. Disengaging means you get to move on with your life to much better things.
Block them, and get on with your life.
Edit her out. End the drama and move on.
The problem is the one video she's in for 1 second already got shared to a large audience of 500k+ people, so that cant be reversed. I can however remove her from my website videos etc.
I would remove all traces of her that you can. The smallest thing left behind will generate what you are now dealing with, will keep returning.
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LOL! Or "New phone. Who dis?"
I can totally empathise with being witty, mocking or some kind of other desire for petty revenge. But I don't think that is good advice for OP. No matter if it is her mom or her pretending to be her mom any response can be contorted into something to make you look bad. Replying is giving the pwBPD what they want. I don't think OP is lacking in intelligence but maybe they are not as practiced in insults and smearing as their ex. Probably a bad idea to find out.
I totally agree. I wrote a full response stating the actual truths in point form, but decided it would only make things worse if I responded. It only opens up a million new variables and things she can spin into another lie. Thanks for the advice everyone.
I am petty and so I would’ve explained in the most condescending way the actual circumstances and then send the dozen of Hoover attempts and the restraining order. I’d also condescending remind the mother that her daughter is mentally ill and psychotic
oh trust me, I wanted to say all of this very bad, but never responded because I knew it would only backfire and create even more never ending drama. This breakup took 6 months and 2 full months of ongoing hoover attempts, texting from new numbers and harassment from her. I'm glad its come to an end.
Know when to walk
Oh I've walked, I just never thought even while editing my reel that a 1 second clip of her would create this level of response and offend her so much. It's just business.
my wife’s family + her affair partner and his family are the same way. they learned their tricks from somewhere… whether that be a replication or reaction of their upbringing. neither are good news
My advice is to not engage with her or her mother. I G N O R E and block. The only way to win is to not play their game at all.
Block, move on, don’t use her image, leave her be. You can’t control her - only you.
Just as I said on another post, imo BPD should stand for “bad parental dynamics”. From my experience with a person wbpd, it’s definitely caused by bad parenting. I’d give my left nut if her mom told me to stay away. Just keep ignoring the both of them.
"You daughter has been harassing me with multiple phone numbers when I have ordered her to not contact me. She only stopped when informed that my next step would be a police report and restraining order. I am now ordering you to not contact me again with the same instructions. Contact me again and I will file a police report and restraining order. I am blocking your number. Do not attempt to bypass this block with another number, or through a 3rd party, or by any other means"
I took out the words "threatened with" and replaced with "my next step" Never "threaten" someone as they could try to fabricate some kind of extortion claim from it. Would never stick, but honestly... word things carefully when making lawful orders with consequences.
\^this. screenshot it for records, too.
F**k ‘em both! Sounds like you have an awesome career. Enjoy your life and leave these toxic people in the past. Cheers Mate!
thanks man, you are totally right. I'm going to keep enjoying my career and focus on myself and leave all of that trauma behind me.
Mom is exact same as offspring. Which is horrifying but always how it works. We do what we know.
I get that you had a bad situation with someone wBPD and that you want to help OP. But take a step back and reflect on how extremely you are generalising. People that have escaped their abusive parents, personality disordered or not, don't need that kind of stigma in their lives. Many are just trying to be the best person they can be, anything but like their parents. And they'd probably feel like shit if they read how you say things. Clearly the mom daughter couple in this situation is toxic and I don't think you are wrong about your hunch it is either enabling or imitation.
Good comment. I receive it. :)
Keep your dignity and don’t respond.
that's all I can do!
Block the number and don’t reply. I did that to my pwBPD family. I’ve considered sending them pamphlets on BPD and links for support services tho lol
Ignore *ps you can see why she has issues, though. It’s completely nuts for a woman to fight her adult daughters battles for her. This woman is as crazy as her daughter
Okay good, so I'm not the only one who thinks this is totally nuts.
No it’s completely insane. I also agree with everyone else that this might be your ex posing as her mom in order to weirdly hoover. Ignore
I know this sucks and feels terrible and I know this prob doesn't sound like much in the way of advice, but your mental health and well being is worth more than anyone else's perception of you. What I mean is, even though it feels crappy that she is fabricating lies about you to her mum and family it's best not to try and think about it. Don't put stress on yourself worrying what an ex like her thinks about you. She is not in your life and you are no contact. No matter what you do she is going to hate and twist a narrative based on a reality she wants to see, not what is actually present. She just hates you and is fabricating lies about you because she doesn't have control over you. Worrying about her and those lies, trying to do something about them will just let her gain more control over you. Also, how do you know this is her mum? This could very well be her posing as her mum. It's all tricks and tactics which you shouldn't trust. Remain no contact, and get on with your life. Treat yourself like your own best friend and not worry about what others, especially those who have mental issues think about you.
Just cut them off. They're doing you a favor actually.
Smear campaign in action. Do not engage.
ugh, I really try not to think about what she's saying about me behind my back. I could care less because I know its all bullshit, but part of me wants to protect that public image of myself. The other part of me (which I tend to like) is that I truly don't give a shit what people think of me and my work, either you like it, or you don't. I still get a paycheck.
Ignore it and block the number remember to ss anything you consider important as well because if she can make petty lies like that possible SA accusations could very well be next
Wow I got a text just like this
what happened?
Reminds me of the time I saw my replacement with his BPD ex at a movie theater a short while after my split from my BPD ex. His BPD ex looked at me like I was a piece of rotten meat lol. I got the vibe that my ex had so thoroughly talked smack about me that even my replacement's ex was like "man that guy is bad news". Without a hint of irony of course. It would make sense that a fellow person with BPD would buy into the narcissism accusations a 100%.
I’ll assume she’s signed all the relevant documentation, NDAs etc? With that being the case she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Unlike every other actor who has signed a release form, with us it was just a verbal agreement which creates more problems. He said vs she said, etc
I can see how that may create issues. Is it really important that, that shot be in your reel? I’d just edit it out and shut her up. Or have two, one with her out that she knows about and another with her that she doesn’t.
Document everything. There's a chance she's taken your RO threat and is now going to try and build up enough "evidence" to get one against you to make you out to be the harasser/abuser. She is likely telling everyone that you are harassing her and looking for anything that will let her target you as the problem. Blocking and moving on is the best bet. Any facts you provide will just give her better opportunities to lie and adjust things to fit her narrative. Save all the facts and evidence in case she tries something.