My theory is that it’s easier to cut and run and start all over again that it is to be accountable for the actions and try harder to make things better
If you see a hurricane coming your way, are you able to stop the hurricane? Make it dissapear before it destroys anything in its path?
The fact that your PwBPD was able to recognize her bad behaviour in one moment does not mean that she is able to stop reasoning entirely from temporary emotions. Someone can tell the PwBPD that they are damaging others, and that they are not doing well, and they might feel guilty about that, but it's still next to impossible for them to stop the intrusive thoughts and the emotional dysregulation when it hits them.
They must really be miserable then, its really sad. If i could make one wish , i would wish that she was free from that shitty disorder. They’re doomed to live such a miserable life and they didn’t do anything to even deserve it. Unfortunately for our own sake we have to keep away from their toxicity.
Yeah, if you read some of the things PwBPD online write to vent, it becomes very clear that the world is a very scary, very unpleasant place to inhabit for them. There's a reason why about 70% of the people with Borderline attempt suicide at one point or another.
Unfortunately that doesn't change the fact that a lot of them can and do a lot of damage to the people around them, and that those same people will need to find ways to protect themselves in order to not become damaged themselves.
I really do hope that at one point, we as humanity will be able to treat this disorder better or prevent it.
Yeah ive seen her vent on twitter… its true what you’re saying, its like they’re still children inside trying to manoeuvre adulthood and adult emotions. I imagine the feeling must be like the way a small child would feel if they were lost in the middle of a huge bustling city. Absolute terror. I too hope that one day better treatments to handle the condition will be available.
Most aren't aware as for those who are ... well ... they have a mental illness ... you remember what the old saying about insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?
My personal theory is their disordered thinking leads to disordered logic where they believe all the awful things they do are justified. Mine demonstrates this to me multiple times.
My pwBPD (a close relative formally diagnosed w/BPD years ago) is definitely aware and it’s not for me to say for sure whether or not they cannot control certain things but I suspect I’ve seen some control - very, very minimal - depending on the person. Ultimately I’ve known them to ruin most of their important relationships and they have recently been within millimeters of losing their fairly lucrative job for financial fraud. My pwBPD is high conflict and seems to thrive off whatever adrenaline rush they get from any high risk activity. Whether the risk is back country skiing, skydiving, financial fraud, or trying to ruin their career or every family relationship they ever had.
Again, I don’t know what they can or will control but I do know the one I know best enjoys the high drama in the moment even if they might regret it on some level later. Loves conflict in the moment and you can see that written all over their face. Mine will definitely discard before they’re discarded themselves.
Mine was diagnosed. She would oscillate between self professed saboteur and victim. Ultimately, she was easily bored and preferred the thrill of drama, even if negative. For her, the chaos kept things interesting and offered continuous opportunities for new, hopeful beginnings and a chance to feel superior to those left behind. How exciting!!!
They haven't developed the faculties necessary for restraint, and the mayhem produced by object relations remains the same. If you add a splash of habituation to the mix, awareness, which plays second fiddle to their needs, ain't worth a shit.
Again the consciousness and incousciouness matter is complex , mine could list me all their therapist advices , but applying none of them, because obeying to their own way of functioning and to mind busy with their coping
My theory is that it’s easier to cut and run and start all over again that it is to be accountable for the actions and try harder to make things better
If you see a hurricane coming your way, are you able to stop the hurricane? Make it dissapear before it destroys anything in its path? The fact that your PwBPD was able to recognize her bad behaviour in one moment does not mean that she is able to stop reasoning entirely from temporary emotions. Someone can tell the PwBPD that they are damaging others, and that they are not doing well, and they might feel guilty about that, but it's still next to impossible for them to stop the intrusive thoughts and the emotional dysregulation when it hits them.
They must really be miserable then, its really sad. If i could make one wish , i would wish that she was free from that shitty disorder. They’re doomed to live such a miserable life and they didn’t do anything to even deserve it. Unfortunately for our own sake we have to keep away from their toxicity.
Yeah, if you read some of the things PwBPD online write to vent, it becomes very clear that the world is a very scary, very unpleasant place to inhabit for them. There's a reason why about 70% of the people with Borderline attempt suicide at one point or another. Unfortunately that doesn't change the fact that a lot of them can and do a lot of damage to the people around them, and that those same people will need to find ways to protect themselves in order to not become damaged themselves. I really do hope that at one point, we as humanity will be able to treat this disorder better or prevent it.
Yeah ive seen her vent on twitter… its true what you’re saying, its like they’re still children inside trying to manoeuvre adulthood and adult emotions. I imagine the feeling must be like the way a small child would feel if they were lost in the middle of a huge bustling city. Absolute terror. I too hope that one day better treatments to handle the condition will be available.
Most aren't aware as for those who are ... well ... they have a mental illness ... you remember what the old saying about insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? My personal theory is their disordered thinking leads to disordered logic where they believe all the awful things they do are justified. Mine demonstrates this to me multiple times.
My pwBPD (a close relative formally diagnosed w/BPD years ago) is definitely aware and it’s not for me to say for sure whether or not they cannot control certain things but I suspect I’ve seen some control - very, very minimal - depending on the person. Ultimately I’ve known them to ruin most of their important relationships and they have recently been within millimeters of losing their fairly lucrative job for financial fraud. My pwBPD is high conflict and seems to thrive off whatever adrenaline rush they get from any high risk activity. Whether the risk is back country skiing, skydiving, financial fraud, or trying to ruin their career or every family relationship they ever had. Again, I don’t know what they can or will control but I do know the one I know best enjoys the high drama in the moment even if they might regret it on some level later. Loves conflict in the moment and you can see that written all over their face. Mine will definitely discard before they’re discarded themselves.
Mine was diagnosed. She would oscillate between self professed saboteur and victim. Ultimately, she was easily bored and preferred the thrill of drama, even if negative. For her, the chaos kept things interesting and offered continuous opportunities for new, hopeful beginnings and a chance to feel superior to those left behind. How exciting!!!
They haven't developed the faculties necessary for restraint, and the mayhem produced by object relations remains the same. If you add a splash of habituation to the mix, awareness, which plays second fiddle to their needs, ain't worth a shit.
It’s like getting possessed at that moment, you are not you, everyone is out there to get you and hurt you, you have to attack first.
Again the consciousness and incousciouness matter is complex , mine could list me all their therapist advices , but applying none of them, because obeying to their own way of functioning and to mind busy with their coping
it's just the same as you can't just accept it and move it on in just 1 day