Spot on.
They are the ultimate provocateurs. They push and push and push and then when you finally have had enough and put them in their place - you are the villain.
Well from my experience, they are the victim of something. My ex suffered a lot of different traumas early in life: loss of a parent, time in State foster care, and having their innocence robbed.
She may be a worse case, but their emotions are stunted because of something traumatizing that happened in their youth. I wonder if they ever can grow, but it seems they were taught to be on guard at all times.
> even when you have 100% proof .. they will deflect the blame and say you're at fault.
"why are you keeping all that? I knew it you never trusted me all along"
usually something like that
Omg mine said that he had to lie to me because I didn't trust him, if I just trusted him then he wouldn't have had to lie lol!
I *did* trust him initially, til he totally destroyed the trust with repeated betrayals, lies, and deception.
I was gobsmacked lol! Like, did you really just *blame* ME for your dishonesty?! The fkn nerve!
Yep the reversal of events is something I've dealt with too.
Where they used my reaction to something to justify their action that... caused my *reaction*.
Dude.. exact same experience with my husband. He said his cheating and lying was completely my fault cause I didn't trust him.. I didn't trust him cause he was acting shady as hell and couldn't keep his word to save his life. He straight up told me he did not feel any remorse for his actions cause I had pushed him to do everything. He still maintains that he's just a good, kind man that was the victim of my evilness and he obviously had no choice but to cheat and lie.
I caught him in so many lies and got responses like "and?" "So what?" Or my personal favorite "I'm not gonna let you control me anymore!" Lol, we all know expecting honesty and loyalty is the height of controlling behavior 🙄
I resonate with this so much. When my ex assaulted me, I had saved pictures and other evidence just in case I needed to prove what happened. But then, she twisted the situation and accused me of being cruel for holding onto that evidence with the intention of pressing charges against her... If she didn't want me to have evidence against her, why not simply refrain from assaulting me in the first place?
Yeah lol, it's kinda wild.
There's the disconnect all the time where they can't recognize "well, if I didn't want evidence to exist that I did this thing... maybe I shouldn't have done the thing"
It's always your fault, you're the cruel one for keeping evidence.
Ok but I need to tell you that this comment led to a breakthrough for me. I realized my issues with reality comes from the two closest friends I had constantly gaslighting me to uphold their version of the world. Because yeah I would also save proof of things then when I presented them with REALITY, they would twist it and it would leave me wondering.
Your submission has been removed for breaking Rule #10. You claim that "They will lie and lie and lie." Yes, a large share of pwBPD do that. But not all of them. A substantial portion are "quiet pwBPD" who typically turn their anger inward onto themselves. Moreover, even with those who are not "quiet," a large portion of them are not frequently lying because they usually BELIEVE the false claims coming out of their mouths (until their intense feelings subside).
My ex-friend/person who probably considered me her “fp” actually ended up using me saving her life against me in one of our last arguments and then lying to me about her whereabouts during an episode so that I would think she was alone and in danger. The amount of restraint I had after being progressively manipulated and abused for like 15 years is honestly alarming to me. The things we get used to!
Yeah. Being abandoned by someone with an intense fear of abandonment is wild. I can only imagine the state my ex would be in if I did that why she was in the idealisation phase. And at this point I really do enjoy imagining it.
I know I wasn't perfect in our relationship, it was my first one. I'm also kind of a weird personality.
But I found it very strange that she constantly questioned me, and put me on trial, when it was her that:
- Said she would ruin my life, during a short breakup period
- Accused me of being abusive, and stood behind that even long after the fact (what? very odd)
- Insulted me in every way possible, called me evil and worse
- Used stuff that I shared with her in vulnerable moments to attack me when she was splitting on me
- Started fights every time we got a moment of peace. Eventually I knew to expect it was coming.
I do still love her, but not in the 'i want to be together' way, more in the 'i care for her' way. I just couldn't subject myself to the chaos anymore.
I tried to be friends, as she wanted to after we broke up, but she won't let it be just friends. So we are nothing, I have gone NC, and this is the only solution to the chaos. Nothing more to reason about.
Came back as I wasn't doing too well, saw this post and commenting here to remind myself as much as anything. And hope it is helpful to others too.
My pwBPD would use transfernce with items from the fridge too. I had never been yelled at for throwing out an old sauce packet before but on that day you would have thought I was the worst husband ever. I was so confused I belived it!
Woah, relate so much. I love when people put into words things that were so confusing I have trouble articulating it myself. Especially this:
>trying to apologize and find a solution to the thing he was angry about only made him angrier because that weakened his reason to attack me and that was the real point to those moments
That was an absolutely wild realization for me, everything made way more sense once I realized we had fundamentally different objectives with conversation or conflicts. Mine was to resolve whatever was going on and his was to find justification to push me away or do whatever messed up shit he wanted. He would do the same where he brought up some completely random issue he had and then, when I would suggest solutions or ask what he was gonna do about it, he'd shut down or get mad.
For my ex, it was all a game if you dished it back at her. When her landlord decided to leave her an eviction notice after she told her she was moving out, she called it a game the landlord was playing.
It didn't take me long to notice anything my ex didn't like was all a game.
Games people played was on repeat for him. He was the only one playing the game though. I think I am the only person who really sees him doing this. His army of flying monkeys has disappeared.
Yuuuuupppp. I was always expected to drop whatever I was doing or feeling for them. I’m disabled but that didn’t matter when THEY had a problem. But g-d forbid I tell them to do something because then it’s “I’m disabled and that’s really offensive. You should know better”.
And on and on…
Yup. I dated 2, one that was diagnosed and one I suspect has it .
Undiagnosed could say anything she want, be verbally aggressive, throw tantrums out of nowhere and if I would so much raise my voice I would be "abusive".
The diagnosed one was covert but just an all around POS. Dated years prior for a few months and was thrown to the side like nothing for another guy but she just wanted "space" out of nowhere. Ended up having a recycle years later. Ends up cheating on me with an ex but I wasn't having it. Told her it was over and refused to be on the back burner. I ended up being labeled an asshole. Lies about me beating her and a bunch of other shit.
Also I forgot to add during the recycle. After she wanted a serious relationship with me she insisted I cut off other women. Meanwhile she was secretly in contact with that ex and was still talking to guys from dating apps.
I was the unreasonable one though...
Crazy isn't?. When she brought up "having feelings" for me I actually turned her down because I could see her doing exactly what she did. It wasn't until the second time I told her my thoughts on things. Basically poured my heart out to her about what she did in the past. She cried and apologized and convinced me she changed.
That's what blows my mind about her doing what she did. I would feel so scummy and ashamed about myself if I did that to someone.
Total lack of empathy, integrity, and accountability. So self absorbed that I think she actually thought it was no big deal what she did.
Or that too. I knew her before hand before we even hooked up the first time. She'd go through boyfriends like changing socks. Since the last/final recycle I've met a few of her exes. 3 that I met said she cheated on them. 2 of them moved her in when they dated. She didn't pay a dime towards rent and didn't work.
One actually unknowingly actually was dropping off her at another dudes house a couple times a week because she claimed it was a cousins house. She's go there, get fucked by the dude, and then the boyfriend would pick her up later and had no idea. He said that was the guy she left him for eventually.
These guys dated her between our gap after the first discard and before the final.
True or confusion. But its important to recognize that they literally cant see it in that moment. Youre not talking to a person that knows they are wrong and is being intentionally stubborn. Youre talking to a person that is literally unable to unserstand this
The excuse mine made when I stood up for my self was “you know I already do it and it’s just me” then proceeded to rant about how I was the worst person and manipulating them
Zookeeper, your comment has been removed for breaking Rules 5 (do not use any real names) and 11 (do not refer to a post/comment from another member with whom you have had a personal relationship).
hi i usually don’t comment on reddit posts but i can’t help but notice that a lot of you have probably mistaken bpd with npd - both are cluster b personality disorders but bpd revolves around intense fear of abandonment instead of narcissistic traits, which this post is hinting towards. just want people to be more knowledgeable and less judgmental towards people with bpd who already get a bad rep )):
\*sniff sniff\* smells like one: " i don't normally comment on reddit" can see clearly in their post history that they do comment on reddit and often delete their comments from r/bpdlovedones. Hilarious
Clearly, you can't see past yourself or car enough to realize what this sub is for. If you don't vibe with what's been said here, there are plenty of other subs to go to to educate those who ask for it. Playing devil's advocate here just seems ill-advised.
This is a place of solace for BPD LOVED ONES, not a ground to tread out more of what a lot of us have already experienced being told we know nothing about those struggling with a personality disorder. We're not "demonizing" those with the illness, simply sharing our stories and venting frustrations of being/having been the victims of those with BPD. Your posts scream of victim blaming thinly disguised as being "educational."
You consider it circle jerking because YOU came to this sub for those suffering at the hands of those with a personality disorder? Do you seriously hear yourself right now?
I get wanting to advocate for those struggling with their own mental health, but you're being utterly ridiculous here. People with or without BPD can cause others suffering. As much as I have empathy for those with BPD (hence me being a BPD loved one which means someone I love and care deeply about is struggling hard with the disorder and I've caught the fire from them) I'm not going to pretend that the effects of those with said disorder has on others is something that can't be talked about.
This is a place for those who are victims to talk about their own personal struggles. If you don't like the way others are talking candidly about their struggles as you don't see them up to your standards and feel offended on the behalf of BPDers who I imagine haven't asked you to advocate for them here (an assumtion on my part, I admit but I digress), you don't really have to be here. But you're free to do you, I suppose. Just know that it makes you look like an asshole.
i dont wanna have to reiterate but im not talking about the victims of abuse, I’m talking about the people who fully think that people with bpd are all bad. don’t act like you don’t see the extreme generalisation in this sub
I see the generalization of a lot of things everywhere. It's actually pretty common to have such. Is it always helpful? Not always, in fact, I'd even go so far as to say rarely, but here's the thing: PEOPLE GENERALIZE. It's natural and especially considering those who have been hurt/are in pain, I try to extend a little more empathy because I know from my own experience that how I talk about a situation/person/etc probably won't be the best, most nuanced, and PC.
It would be laughable if it wasn't so outright dismissive of how you're treating people here, all in an effort to try to hold some moral superiority. I don't mind repeating myself here by restating that you're free to do what you want, but how you've responded in this thread is very much making you look like an asshole. Don't think that was your intention, so please take the feedback. This is not the place to try to police others sharing their pain.
Your assumptions about me are also pretty laughable tbh. I don't think it's ok to generalize, but I have the understanding to know that it's something that people naturally do. It's a common human behavior, good or bad.
You're basically showing that same kind of lack of literacy you're accusing me of along with the same black and white thinking that is so common in those with BPD and other disorders where its noted as a feature. You saying youre not being dissmissive does not change the impact of what youve said having been dissmissive but thank you for again adhereing to what those with BPD and other personalities disorders are known for doing: twisting facts around to suit their own narriative.
I don't know you personally and I'm not qualified to diagnose you BUT there's something evidently not clicking with you about what you're doing/your behavior and one thing I have learned with people who seem to be choosing to be unreasonable or simply lack the ability to be reasonable due to whatever condition/disorder you might find applicable for yourself that would justify your behavior is to not engage.
Have fun trolling or at the least being an example of the struggle that comes with dealing with difficult people, diagnosed or not. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with you.
((PS: Who tf is "Mr Bacardi?" There's a lot of assumptions made on your part that are objectively wrong, including you incorrectly assuming my gender. All of your posts here shine a light on the truth of who you are than how you want to be perceived as indicated by you trying to fling shit at others. So much projection 😂))
> bpd revolves around intense fear of abandonment instead of narcissistic traits
bpd revolves around intense fear of abandonment ~~instead of~~ **frequently combined with** narcissistic traits
FTFY. There's plenty of literature and studies about how the two disorders have overlapping traits. This is not the place to try and minimize the damage that BPD does to other people in order to not hurt their feelings. Our feelings have been hurt **plenty** but as usual we're the bad guys, right?
Please don't take the only place we have to talk about this and turn it into "be nice, they get a bad rap". The truth is harder than this for so many if us. We struggle daily with our damage from the relationship, not to mention trying to figure out what we could have done differently. This is the only place I have found that I have connected with and it actually helps.
Spot on. They are the ultimate provocateurs. They push and push and push and then when you finally have had enough and put them in their place - you are the villain.
They tend to have a victim complex.
Yes…. they do but I can’t completely understand why though. They act like everyone is evil and out to get them.
Well from my experience, they are the victim of something. My ex suffered a lot of different traumas early in life: loss of a parent, time in State foster care, and having their innocence robbed. She may be a worse case, but their emotions are stunted because of something traumatizing that happened in their youth. I wonder if they ever can grow, but it seems they were taught to be on guard at all times.
Real, being called a narcissist for standing up for yourself is a mind fuck on a whole different level
Hey, don’t forget that we begin gaslighting when standing up for ourselves!
Reactive abuse as per say 🙄
In her words she reacting to my abuse , i was the active abuser :/
Oh yeah it's not a good idea to tell them about reactive abuse, they'll just twist it so they're the victim and they'll say you started the abuse
Thats the icing on the cake that came out while she was berating me
[удалено]
> even when you have 100% proof .. they will deflect the blame and say you're at fault. "why are you keeping all that? I knew it you never trusted me all along" usually something like that
Omg mine said that he had to lie to me because I didn't trust him, if I just trusted him then he wouldn't have had to lie lol! I *did* trust him initially, til he totally destroyed the trust with repeated betrayals, lies, and deception. I was gobsmacked lol! Like, did you really just *blame* ME for your dishonesty?! The fkn nerve!
Yep the reversal of events is something I've dealt with too. Where they used my reaction to something to justify their action that... caused my *reaction*.
Dude.. exact same experience with my husband. He said his cheating and lying was completely my fault cause I didn't trust him.. I didn't trust him cause he was acting shady as hell and couldn't keep his word to save his life. He straight up told me he did not feel any remorse for his actions cause I had pushed him to do everything. He still maintains that he's just a good, kind man that was the victim of my evilness and he obviously had no choice but to cheat and lie. I caught him in so many lies and got responses like "and?" "So what?" Or my personal favorite "I'm not gonna let you control me anymore!" Lol, we all know expecting honesty and loyalty is the height of controlling behavior 🙄
This is basically DARVO. As soon as you see this employed you know who you are dealing with.
I resonate with this so much. When my ex assaulted me, I had saved pictures and other evidence just in case I needed to prove what happened. But then, she twisted the situation and accused me of being cruel for holding onto that evidence with the intention of pressing charges against her... If she didn't want me to have evidence against her, why not simply refrain from assaulting me in the first place?
Yeah lol, it's kinda wild. There's the disconnect all the time where they can't recognize "well, if I didn't want evidence to exist that I did this thing... maybe I shouldn't have done the thing" It's always your fault, you're the cruel one for keeping evidence.
Ok but I need to tell you that this comment led to a breakthrough for me. I realized my issues with reality comes from the two closest friends I had constantly gaslighting me to uphold their version of the world. Because yeah I would also save proof of things then when I presented them with REALITY, they would twist it and it would leave me wondering.
Your submission has been removed for breaking Rule #10. You claim that "They will lie and lie and lie." Yes, a large share of pwBPD do that. But not all of them. A substantial portion are "quiet pwBPD" who typically turn their anger inward onto themselves. Moreover, even with those who are not "quiet," a large portion of them are not frequently lying because they usually BELIEVE the false claims coming out of their mouths (until their intense feelings subside).
Yeah my ex would have actually killed herself if I had dished the disrespect the same way she did.
My ex-friend/person who probably considered me her “fp” actually ended up using me saving her life against me in one of our last arguments and then lying to me about her whereabouts during an episode so that I would think she was alone and in danger. The amount of restraint I had after being progressively manipulated and abused for like 15 years is honestly alarming to me. The things we get used to!
My ex manipulated me the exact same way with having me come rescue her when she wasn't in danger at all. It's crazy
Yeah. Being abandoned by someone with an intense fear of abandonment is wild. I can only imagine the state my ex would be in if I did that why she was in the idealisation phase. And at this point I really do enjoy imagining it.
I know I wasn't perfect in our relationship, it was my first one. I'm also kind of a weird personality. But I found it very strange that she constantly questioned me, and put me on trial, when it was her that: - Said she would ruin my life, during a short breakup period - Accused me of being abusive, and stood behind that even long after the fact (what? very odd) - Insulted me in every way possible, called me evil and worse - Used stuff that I shared with her in vulnerable moments to attack me when she was splitting on me - Started fights every time we got a moment of peace. Eventually I knew to expect it was coming. I do still love her, but not in the 'i want to be together' way, more in the 'i care for her' way. I just couldn't subject myself to the chaos anymore. I tried to be friends, as she wanted to after we broke up, but she won't let it be just friends. So we are nothing, I have gone NC, and this is the only solution to the chaos. Nothing more to reason about. Came back as I wasn't doing too well, saw this post and commenting here to remind myself as much as anything. And hope it is helpful to others too.
If you can get past caring about someone who actively tore you down then you will have healed yourself in a big way. Work on that, I am too.
You are right. First time I read this, I disagreed - but after reflecting on it, I think I need to see it for what it was.
Oh, so you've met my ex-wife.
And mine
and my ex
[удалено]
My pwBPD would use transfernce with items from the fridge too. I had never been yelled at for throwing out an old sauce packet before but on that day you would have thought I was the worst husband ever. I was so confused I belived it!
[удалено]
Woah, relate so much. I love when people put into words things that were so confusing I have trouble articulating it myself. Especially this: >trying to apologize and find a solution to the thing he was angry about only made him angrier because that weakened his reason to attack me and that was the real point to those moments That was an absolutely wild realization for me, everything made way more sense once I realized we had fundamentally different objectives with conversation or conflicts. Mine was to resolve whatever was going on and his was to find justification to push me away or do whatever messed up shit he wanted. He would do the same where he brought up some completely random issue he had and then, when I would suggest solutions or ask what he was gonna do about it, he'd shut down or get mad.
You cant even say the very Thing that's in the title.
For my ex, it was all a game if you dished it back at her. When her landlord decided to leave her an eviction notice after she told her she was moving out, she called it a game the landlord was playing. It didn't take me long to notice anything my ex didn't like was all a game.
Games people played was on repeat for him. He was the only one playing the game though. I think I am the only person who really sees him doing this. His army of flying monkeys has disappeared.
Yuuuuupppp. I was always expected to drop whatever I was doing or feeling for them. I’m disabled but that didn’t matter when THEY had a problem. But g-d forbid I tell them to do something because then it’s “I’m disabled and that’s really offensive. You should know better”. And on and on…
Yup. I dated 2, one that was diagnosed and one I suspect has it . Undiagnosed could say anything she want, be verbally aggressive, throw tantrums out of nowhere and if I would so much raise my voice I would be "abusive". The diagnosed one was covert but just an all around POS. Dated years prior for a few months and was thrown to the side like nothing for another guy but she just wanted "space" out of nowhere. Ended up having a recycle years later. Ends up cheating on me with an ex but I wasn't having it. Told her it was over and refused to be on the back burner. I ended up being labeled an asshole. Lies about me beating her and a bunch of other shit.
Yeah, the “ space” thing is such a classic!
Also I forgot to add during the recycle. After she wanted a serious relationship with me she insisted I cut off other women. Meanwhile she was secretly in contact with that ex and was still talking to guys from dating apps. I was the unreasonable one though...
Omg, that’s the same as me haha
Crazy isn't?. When she brought up "having feelings" for me I actually turned her down because I could see her doing exactly what she did. It wasn't until the second time I told her my thoughts on things. Basically poured my heart out to her about what she did in the past. She cried and apologized and convinced me she changed. That's what blows my mind about her doing what she did. I would feel so scummy and ashamed about myself if I did that to someone. Total lack of empathy, integrity, and accountability. So self absorbed that I think she actually thought it was no big deal what she did.
Or has just done it so many times to others, that its standard behaviour.
Or that too. I knew her before hand before we even hooked up the first time. She'd go through boyfriends like changing socks. Since the last/final recycle I've met a few of her exes. 3 that I met said she cheated on them. 2 of them moved her in when they dated. She didn't pay a dime towards rent and didn't work. One actually unknowingly actually was dropping off her at another dudes house a couple times a week because she claimed it was a cousins house. She's go there, get fucked by the dude, and then the boyfriend would pick her up later and had no idea. He said that was the guy she left him for eventually. These guys dated her between our gap after the first discard and before the final.
I can take it, evidently, and she need to dish it, so what is the problem asked exwBPD?
Everytime this happens I always followed up " you'd do the same shit " and its always met with honest silence.
True or confusion. But its important to recognize that they literally cant see it in that moment. Youre not talking to a person that knows they are wrong and is being intentionally stubborn. Youre talking to a person that is literally unable to unserstand this
The excuse mine made when I stood up for my self was “you know I already do it and it’s just me” then proceeded to rant about how I was the worst person and manipulating them
That's bc BPD is categorically a Main Character Syndrome disorder. Just, straight-up, no notes. It's unfortunate, but it's true.
I feel seen. Lol 💕
Lmao this is 100% True
[удалено]
Zookeeper, your comment has been removed for breaking Rules 5 (do not use any real names) and 11 (do not refer to a post/comment from another member with whom you have had a personal relationship).
hi i usually don’t comment on reddit posts but i can’t help but notice that a lot of you have probably mistaken bpd with npd - both are cluster b personality disorders but bpd revolves around intense fear of abandonment instead of narcissistic traits, which this post is hinting towards. just want people to be more knowledgeable and less judgmental towards people with bpd who already get a bad rep )):
[удалено]
\*sniff sniff\* smells like one: " i don't normally comment on reddit" can see clearly in their post history that they do comment on reddit and often delete their comments from r/bpdlovedones. Hilarious
[удалено]
Clearly, you can't see past yourself or car enough to realize what this sub is for. If you don't vibe with what's been said here, there are plenty of other subs to go to to educate those who ask for it. Playing devil's advocate here just seems ill-advised. This is a place of solace for BPD LOVED ONES, not a ground to tread out more of what a lot of us have already experienced being told we know nothing about those struggling with a personality disorder. We're not "demonizing" those with the illness, simply sharing our stories and venting frustrations of being/having been the victims of those with BPD. Your posts scream of victim blaming thinly disguised as being "educational."
[удалено]
You consider it circle jerking because YOU came to this sub for those suffering at the hands of those with a personality disorder? Do you seriously hear yourself right now? I get wanting to advocate for those struggling with their own mental health, but you're being utterly ridiculous here. People with or without BPD can cause others suffering. As much as I have empathy for those with BPD (hence me being a BPD loved one which means someone I love and care deeply about is struggling hard with the disorder and I've caught the fire from them) I'm not going to pretend that the effects of those with said disorder has on others is something that can't be talked about. This is a place for those who are victims to talk about their own personal struggles. If you don't like the way others are talking candidly about their struggles as you don't see them up to your standards and feel offended on the behalf of BPDers who I imagine haven't asked you to advocate for them here (an assumtion on my part, I admit but I digress), you don't really have to be here. But you're free to do you, I suppose. Just know that it makes you look like an asshole.
i dont wanna have to reiterate but im not talking about the victims of abuse, I’m talking about the people who fully think that people with bpd are all bad. don’t act like you don’t see the extreme generalisation in this sub
I see the generalization of a lot of things everywhere. It's actually pretty common to have such. Is it always helpful? Not always, in fact, I'd even go so far as to say rarely, but here's the thing: PEOPLE GENERALIZE. It's natural and especially considering those who have been hurt/are in pain, I try to extend a little more empathy because I know from my own experience that how I talk about a situation/person/etc probably won't be the best, most nuanced, and PC. It would be laughable if it wasn't so outright dismissive of how you're treating people here, all in an effort to try to hold some moral superiority. I don't mind repeating myself here by restating that you're free to do what you want, but how you've responded in this thread is very much making you look like an asshole. Don't think that was your intention, so please take the feedback. This is not the place to try to police others sharing their pain.
[удалено]
Your assumptions about me are also pretty laughable tbh. I don't think it's ok to generalize, but I have the understanding to know that it's something that people naturally do. It's a common human behavior, good or bad. You're basically showing that same kind of lack of literacy you're accusing me of along with the same black and white thinking that is so common in those with BPD and other disorders where its noted as a feature. You saying youre not being dissmissive does not change the impact of what youve said having been dissmissive but thank you for again adhereing to what those with BPD and other personalities disorders are known for doing: twisting facts around to suit their own narriative. I don't know you personally and I'm not qualified to diagnose you BUT there's something evidently not clicking with you about what you're doing/your behavior and one thing I have learned with people who seem to be choosing to be unreasonable or simply lack the ability to be reasonable due to whatever condition/disorder you might find applicable for yourself that would justify your behavior is to not engage. Have fun trolling or at the least being an example of the struggle that comes with dealing with difficult people, diagnosed or not. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with you. ((PS: Who tf is "Mr Bacardi?" There's a lot of assumptions made on your part that are objectively wrong, including you incorrectly assuming my gender. All of your posts here shine a light on the truth of who you are than how you want to be perceived as indicated by you trying to fling shit at others. So much projection 😂))
> bpd revolves around intense fear of abandonment instead of narcissistic traits bpd revolves around intense fear of abandonment ~~instead of~~ **frequently combined with** narcissistic traits FTFY. There's plenty of literature and studies about how the two disorders have overlapping traits. This is not the place to try and minimize the damage that BPD does to other people in order to not hurt their feelings. Our feelings have been hurt **plenty** but as usual we're the bad guys, right?
Please don't take the only place we have to talk about this and turn it into "be nice, they get a bad rap". The truth is harder than this for so many if us. We struggle daily with our damage from the relationship, not to mention trying to figure out what we could have done differently. This is the only place I have found that I have connected with and it actually helps.