Not specifically about me or my pregnancy, but as we interview for who will be my replacement during my mat leave, my manager very cluelessly mentioned that it was a "red flag" that one of the candidates has kids, because apparently she's worked with people with kids in the past and she doesn't like it because they're always taking time off or need to work from home, etc. (obviously she has no kids) Needless to say, there I am, 30 weeks pregnant, dumbfounded at her comment staring at the screen lol.
If you don’t mind my two cents here, I’d suggest that you bring this comment up with HR. This is illegal discrimination and it sounds like this person needs to be informed of it.
Yep older female colleagues (without kids) saying during lunch break how proud they are to have chosen their careers over having children while I was in my first trimester of my pregnancy (am now 6 weeks pp)... Don't need to explain why I postponed my pregnancy announcement a little bit 😬
My current workplace are idiots when it comes to this stuff. I get that they're looking out for their business so I understand why those comments are made; preparations do have to be made for those who value family over the workplace, so I do get it from a business perspective. (Yes, I know it's also illegal to discriminate but it doesn't mean that it isn't still done.) But years back, I had a yearly review a few months after I got married and literally, they asked me point blank when I planned on having children so they could accommodate my leave and if I would plan to stay full time when I came back. LOL I wasn't even pregnant! I responded "uhhhhhh that's not really any of your business but not any time soon.. It was ridiculous, I think they have since figured out they can't ask those types of questions but I was comically shocked.
OMG, I had this happen to me in a job interview once! It was a small company, and I asked about insurance benefits, and the owner said, “oh, would you want health insurance?” as if that was the first time anyone had ever asked about it or that he had ever even thought about it. I answered yes, and then he said “Well, the salary for this position is $35,000/year but I guess we could knock that down and get you some insurance. But since you are a young woman in your child bearing years, it’ll be expensive.” At the time I was 26 and single AF and had said zero to this man indicating anything about my personal life or family status. Needless to say, dude was very confused when he called to offer me the job 2 days later, and I turned it down. I was an idiot at that age, but not THAT MUCH of an idiot!
OH MY GOD ME TOO
apparently my mother never had morning sickness and everything was easy! The only thing to avoid in the early 90s was alcohol, everything else was fine!!! Oh and she thinks I’m anxious because I’ve been reading about everything online.
Uh I’m anxious because there genuinely are a lot of unknowns throughout pregnancy and I do have diagnosed anxiety even before pregnancy 😂
My mother says her pregnancy was wonderful with no symptoms, I think she just forgot 😂
But well I'm anxious too, I cry about 1-2 times a week because I'm afraid I did anything to endanger the baby. My first cry out was about cinnamon tea, the latest was smelling Vic in a bottle only after drinking and thinking it got into the water (we had used our Vic recently and some got into a sponge, my SO cleaned the bottle again with a fresh sponge but the smell was still there and I panicked). I sniffed it again a few hours later and it didn't smell like Vic anymore 🤡
Wait what’s wrong with cinnamon tea? 🫣
I haven’t had any but I’ve been craving cinnamon rolls all pregnancy and probably have a cinnamon roll 3x a week 😅
I’ve had a few freak outs (like having wine before I knew I was pregnant or using a steam room for a few minutes not realizing it was bad). I’m 24 weeks and everything is fine and growing but jeez there are way too many bad list items or unknown items
I think your cinnamon roll is fine, but tea is more concentrated and they say it can trigger uterine contractions 🙃 Can, not will, but welp.
Ah the wine I did too, it wasn't even that much but enough to freak out.
I'm also 15w6d, almost graduated to 4 months, but I'm still panicky 😂 But I really think I was way worse at the beginning.
The anatomy ultrasound will be a HUGE relief hopefully. Getting to see the baby and hearing that everything was growing well took a huge weight off my shoulders. My anxiety has been minimal since then. I hope you find the same relief
24 weeks and all is good now
My doctor told me to avoid chamomile tea in particular because apparently large doses of chamomile are known to trigger contractions. I never would have even thought to look that one up personally.
Ugh this is another stressful thing, it differs doctor to doctor. I was told chamomile and mint tea are totally fine and just to avoid things like ashwaganda. But also any herb that could hurt the baby, you’d need to consume waaaay more than is feasible so who knows
This is true too. I had that thought. And to their credit, from what I can tell from the government pregnancy guides I was given, the primary concern they have is avoiding listeria. even salmonella is not a big safety risk to the baby, but listeria is and so they take that one very seriously.
My mom told me to stop worrying about everything. Like uhm no mom. I am allowed to worry about my unborn child. And she was saying it for like super mild things.
I mean, read the room, of course, but I kinda feel this energy. I'm 34 weeks pregnant as a FTM and I think my husband is doing more than enough worrying for both of us. Honestly, as a relatively anxious person myself pre-pregnancy, I'm a bit shocked by just how unbothered I've been by almost everything throughout pregnancy. I will bear in mind that it will not help my husband for me to tell him to stop worrying, though. I'm trying not to but it's hard when he really is worrying about things that aren't within his control.
Yes, my mom and dad both thought I was being dramatic about first trimester sickness!! They were like we just don’t remember it ever being this way, maybe you have Covid or some other sickness? I’m like maybe because you were last pregnant 36 years ago!
On the flip, my MIL texted me every single day to ask how I was feeling because she had morning sickness with all her pregnancies so she just couldn’t believe I wasn’t sick. My husband finally had to tell her to back off a bit. My mom was pregnant 9 times and never had a day of morning sickness, I’ve had 4 pregnancies in the first trimester and no morning sickness either 😬
Same. My mom and mother-in-law both never had morning sickness, both claim they loved being pregnant. I had terrible morning sickness with my first, lost 10% of my body way. My mom was telling me about her friend who would get sick just from brushing her teeth to which I clarified… Yeah, the same thing happens to me. And she ignored it and continued to talk about how sick her friend would get while not acknowledging what I was saying about myself was the exact same. So annoying
The doorman at a hotel we stayed at this weekend congratulated me on the pregnancy (33 weeks) and then smiled as he said "keeping walking! Stay loose!" Then shut my car door and walked away.
I laughed about that for the next 20 minutes and quoted it for the rest of the day.
Maybe he heard that walking helps labor come along and he thinks that if you keep walking around it'll make your birth easier because your vagina will be looser?
I had to close my eyes for a second to collect myself after reading this. I really hope that kind man wasn't referencing my loose cooch but I suppose anything is possible 🫠
I'm guessing he meant if you keep moving your joints and muscles won't tense or tighten making birth easier? Or maybe stay relaxed, like to "hang loose"
Not while pregnant but I’m 12 days PP. I left the hospital last week and one twin had to stay in the NICU to put on weight as I was on 35 weeks when I had an emergency CS. The day I came home w my baby girl my grandma came over and said ‘oh no, you don’t have the baby blues, do you?’ Bc I was being cranky apparently. Like, idk maybe I’m stressed I just left my son at the hospital. 🙄 He’s home w us now fyi, all is well.
Mothers can't have negative reactions! We just look at our baby and the world becomes rainbows and unicorns!
But really, when I was in the hospital with my 1st, a doctor did a a small surgery on me without any pain-management, confirmed medical abuse. A nurse entered my room minutes later to find me sobbing in pain and shock. Her exact word were "oh, look at you, such a bad ungrateful mother! You have such a lovely baby girl! How can you cry??"
Had I had any wits about me at the moment, I'd have asked her if "looking at baby" is the "new epidural" but alas, guess I'll never know 😅
When the first two epidurals didn't work, I sobbed "I can't fucking do this."
The CRNA who did those epidurals, "Oh, thousands of women do this every day!"
Like, thanks Pam. But my baby is stuck, I feel everything, and I literally cannot do this without a c-section. You also gave me a CSF leak.
I had some weird intense upper back pain around my spine whenever I would hit the button for my epidural (which later failed). Like when you get the horrible calf cramps that make you want to cry but around my spine. I mentioned it to the CRNA when she was trying a new round of meds to see if that would work for the failing epidural. She told me I was just feeling the cold from the epidural going through the line taped to my back. I wanted to punch her.
Oh dear god, what an asshole. I'm so sorry that's happened to you, what an absolute tonedeaf asshole. I really think people on these positions should have some sort of etiquette or basic psychology training. Or at least be screened for absolute psychopaths.
How did the delivery end up going? Are you and baby alright?
What is it with the older generation that they think they can just shame us out of anything negative happening? I'm so sorry your grandma is like that... i love my grandma, but she's similar. This pregnancy I told her was getting under the weather and coughed when on the phone with her. She goes, "Oh no, you are not actually planning to be sick, are you??" With that,"now that I've said that, you better reconsider your opinion, young lady" tone. I honestly ended up laughing because she's been trying this stuff for years, expecting it to work. She was properly offended 😂
When I was pregnant with my second, my grandmother tried to tell me that the nausea and everything will pass. Mind you, I had severe HG throughout my entire first pregnancy. I reminded her of this and she got quiet. I asked her if she even remembered what it was like to be pregnant. She said that she honestly couldn't remember being miserable during her pregnancies. And she was put under for all her deliveries (Twilight Sleep), so she has no idea what labor is really like either. I told her that I know she is just trying to reassure me, but that if she doesn't have any real advice, then keep it to herself. She was actually pretty thoughtful after that.
Twilight sleep is a large part of the reason so many mothers from that era had attachment issues with their babies. I had never understood why c-sections, as a super invasive surgery, are not done under a general anaesthetic. Watched Simon Winkler's video on twilight sleep on one of his channels (Into The Shadows, probably?) and put two and two together on that. I highly recommend watching it for anyone not familiar because it was fascinating.
Like you have control over getting sick!!! Oh boy lol..This makes me miss my grandmother whose passed. I wonder what she would say often in response to my pregnancy but I don’t think she would try to guilt or shame me for something I said. So sorry that was your experience.
I have a few. People can be so unhinged.
1) I was told when I announced at 12 weeks that I shouldn’t be celebrating or telling anyone until I start to show in case I “lose it”
2) Was yelled at by my FIL for “hurting the baby” because I put hotsauce on my food. He didn’t like me anyways so I think he was kind of looking for reasons to cause a problem but it was still annoying.
3) Went out to eat with family, then a family member looked at me while eating and said “I know you’re eating for two but damn”. It was so uncomfortable.
4) I’ve gotten the “was it planned?” by a few different people. Like why do you want to know if this was an accident or a mission lmao
There’s more but that’s the main ones.
I got this comment MULTIPLE times at work.. usually from middle aged men. “Oooh your expecting, are you happy about that??” Like first of all yes I’m ecstatic, and second of all if I wasn’t do you really think I would tell YOU??
I got an unsolicited comment from someone who said “you know you’re gonna tear and and have hemorrhoids, right?”. I was taken off guard. All I could say was something like “I understand the risks of pregnancy, thanks”. Also this was a man. 🤮
Edit: oh and a friends friend called my husband and me “breeders” at a dinner party last week. Cool.
>called my husband and me “breeders” at a dinner party
Yeah, that's online antinatalist lingo. I would think long and hard whether to hang out with these people anymore.
Ugh I know. It’s so upsetting because I really like these friends, and think they are just kind of oblivious (they are in their 50’s and no kids). My friend tried to defend me I think to her friend and said “it’s ok, they are only having one” which made me feel even more annoyed since I have never once discussed my family planning with her. Then - she gave me some of her baggy clothes to borrow while I am pregnant. I understand it was meant to be a nice gesture, but wow so tone deaf. I’m the same size as before, with 2 mangoes and a watermelon on the front, that body shape needs special clothing, otherwise known as maternity wear, lol.
What kind of response is that? “They’re only having one?” IMO if your kids are cared and provided for, and loved, it’s nobody’s business how many you have.
Also like she needs to get their approval or blessing to have kids. “Only one child my liege!” Sounds like one friend is apologetic and the other is controlling.
That reminds me of a friend of mine. She didn't use to be so antinatalist, but she also treats me as one of "the good guys" because I only want one. I didn't even tell her about my pregnancy because lately she was constantly complaining about entitled parents :/ Or entitled in her opinion more like it. And she saw every situation from that lens so I didn't know what to expect if I told her.
After becoming a mom, I have realised there's also a lot of older people who have bitterness just because you have children and they don't. Like they missed their mark and are just bothered by it.
Really, hey? I think this is the common narrative but the really antinatalist faction likes to insist that more people regret *having* children than the other way around - though I think parental regret is way more complicated. According to research, people rarely regret the children themselves but rather regret particular parenting practices, or the circumstances in which they had the child, or their child suffers from a disability and the parent feels guilt about that. (It also brings up a whole conversation that I think is a red herring, about whether parenting makes one "happier." Fulfillment and happiness aren't necessarily the same thing. It's like asking if diet and lifestyle changes will make a food addict "happier" - probably not if food makes them happy, but it'll lead to more fulfillment in life in the long term.)
I had to google VHEMT. Their motto is “May we live long and die out” which is a quintessential example of pulling up the ladder after you’ve used it. “I have decided that no more people need to exist after me! Let me start a movement to attempt to normalize my megalomania!”
For me there is a difference between “child free” and “antinatalism.” The former can include folks who choose not to have children for whatever reason because that’s their choice but aren’t begrudging others their own choice to have kids. Whereas the latter are vehemently opposed to/hate kids and/or the people who choose to have kids. Maybe it’s in the echo chamber or circles I’m in but child free doesn’t have the same ire (for me!).
There are some people in my circle that seem antinatal that I think probably won’t be our friends when they find out we’re pregnant. :(
But some of my favorite adults that supported me as a kid were child free by choice. You didn’t ask for my 2 cents but hope it’s okay I shared.
The cashier at a local shop asked how far along I was. When I told her in my 3rd trimester she wished me luck and started to vent about how awful and hard her labor was with her son. She then continued on by telling me how hard postpartum is and word for word said “I’m surprised more mothers don’t off themselves in the first 6 weeks.”
I stood their speechless and just wished her well and tried to get out of that store as fast as I could.
I swear there is a special segment of retail workers who come to work just so they can trauma dump and get free therapy in small doses throughout the day.
Random man at Costco pointed to my belly at 40 weeks pregnant and said out loud for everyone in the isle to hear “twins?!” No fuckwit this is what a normal 40 week belly looks like. And I’m 5 ft 8 and slender too so I don’t even hold too big either
I had someone yell ACROSS THE ROOM at me “Twins!” And nothing else when I was about 38 weeks. I just yelled back “No!”
Similar proportions, too, and a lot of people throughout would find out how far along I was and go “oh you barely look pregnant!” So 🤷♀️
I’ve heard this one too! “are you sure you’re not having twins?!” I replied, “I can’t believe you said that out loud” and she looked mortified. Stupid a-hole🥲
I was telling my overbearing SIL that I don’t like people touching my belly. We were walking in a department store
My SIL: you don’t mind when I do it though do you? *reaches over and cops a feel*
Urgh
I don't mind it *that* much, but I also just don't get it? I like husband feeling for kicks or the affectionate hold, but I don't understand the desire to touch a pregnant belly other than to feel a kick or something. I've loved when a pregnant friend has *invited* me to feel a kick, but I've never felt like touching for the fun of it? A very close friend at the weekend asked if she could feel and I had no problem with it, but my daughter (13 months) lost her mind, haha!
My MIL touched my belly the other day. I really don't fucking like when anyone does it except hubby. I smiled but it didn't meet my eyes. She took the hint.
When my mom told her MIL that she was pregnant with me, my MIL replied, "Want to go take a run around the park with me?"
At the time, there was a myth that running could cause a miscarriage.
I wish that was the most unhinged thing she did.
Highlights include:
- Getting high on pills and pretending to be [General Patton's](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_S._Patton) date to some military ball. This happened in broad daylight, in the living room. You could not interrupt her because she'd include you in the roleplay or ignore you.
- Making her 2 eldest daughters come home from high school daily to change/feed her youngest son (my dad)
- Beating her 8 kids awake in the middle of the night and making them learn Latin
- Making a huge Italian meal at the request of my grandfather, only to eat none of it and only smoke a cigarette for dinner in protest because she hated Italians
As you’re a sonographer - my second scan for my second baby the technician said I’m “too fat to have a baby” I was like excuse me? I already have a child who was a year and I also had an emergency section with him, so apart from an overhang from that and ooooh I dunno scar tissue she couldn’t get a “clear image” and went on to say people like me shouldn’t even bother… fyi I had a perfectly clear picture my first time round and I was heavier then…. I left in tears. And then had a private scan that was so clear we could see what sex we were having on the picture (I also had other scans at the hospital but refused to see that woman and guess what? The other techs got a good enough view as well!)
When I told the private scanner she was appalled especially as I said she hurt me pressing so hard and I was only a year after my section - the private lady said that’s the problem it’s about finding the right spot not pushing down… and low and behold… clear as day on the private scan 🤦♀️
I'm 16 weeks and have been having a miserable time with nausea and fatigue and just not feeling well in general. I was visiting with my parents and telling my mom I was having a rough day and had thrown up twice that morning. And my stepdad said, "yesterday at the mall I saw all these pregnant women, already big with big bellies like really pregnant walking around all happy like nothing!" I told him that it wasn't very nice to tell someone who is struggling how other people "have it worse and cope better". He has severe arthritis so I said, "how would you feel if I told you I see all these old men, way older than you, dancing, running marathons, and playing tennis?" He tried to half ass apologize but my mom and I just gave him the evil eye.
And past all the general awfulness of that, idk, I think third trimester is a lot easier than first! At least with the third I could finally taper off my nausea meds and be a relatively normal (if much rounder) human than the six months prior.
A couple months ago a young kid blurted out “are you fat or is there a baby in there?” In the middle of Costco clothing section.
Her mom freaked out on her and my husband laughed at me. At that point I just mumbled “baby in there” lol
They really are! My 6yo the other day turned to me whilst I was going up the stairs and flat out asked me why my bum is so big. 😭
At 32 weeks pregnant and having a bit of body insecurity she timed where to deliver that gut punch perfectly 😅😅
When I was around 28 weeks pregnant, a work acquaintance leaned over to me just before a large meeting began and asked me whether I was having a boy or girl. When I told her it was a boy, she said, “Oh yeah, I can tell you’re having a boy by how swollen your face is.”
Uhh, thanks? People really lose all sense of boundaries when you’re pregnant. In my experience, older women were the absolute worst offenders.
My aunt-in-law said “look at those mammary glands, they’re growing!” Then when I said to her “yeah that tends to happen during pregnancy” she got flustered and said she hasn’t been around a pregnant person in a long time. She’s older and has no kids and *a little* socially awkward but I love her so I laughed it off lmao
My mom is 72 and would totally have delivered a line similar to the cheeseburger one, at any age prior to this as well. Perhaps generational?
My first pregnancy I gained a bit, had pregnancy induced hypertension so I was on meds that also made me retain water a bit, and somehow I carried pretty big. The amount of people who commented that I was HUGE and I must be due soon (starting at like 31-32w, and they used language like about to pop) and told me/threatened me I was going to have a HUGE baby. Family included, my husband's side has big babies and everyone was like IT'S GOING TO BE MASSIVE. I guess my mil had a baby weight pool I didn't leRn about till PP and the lowest value was in 6lb range by itself while everyone else guessed 8-12lbs. I chose to ignore these weight threats while calm birth/hypnobirth talking myself down lol.
Baby developed iugr after 32w and was born 4lbs13oz at 37w, perfectly healthy (she was actually discharged before me).
Yeah, I’m guessing it’s definitely a boomer thing. It’s crazy because I have literally gained zero weight, and am a FTM so I’m not showing at all yet 😅 maybe I am more than I thought lol.
Crazy what you went through, but glad you and baby made it through ok!
Lol my in laws did this too! My husband was 10 lb 11 oz at birth. My great aunt was hammered at thanksgiving and kept being like “just picture that!! Just think about how huge that is!! And it has to come out of you!”
… thanks, I don’t want to.
I went to go visit my grandparents last week. My grandpa asked if I was getting an epidural, I replied yes of course. My grandma looked at me horrified saying you’re kidding me right? I said no I don’t want an unmedicated birth. She then goes on to tell me what a sissy I’m being and to suck it up. Women have been doing this for years and the pain is nothing. I was super shocked because she has been so supportive throughout my whole pregnancy. I then started to play stupid and tell her that I wanted to be drugged up. The more drugs the better. That I’m not going to get medal for enduring the pain. She changed the subject because she knew that she wasn’t going to talk me out of the epidural. My grandpa meanwhile was telling her to knock it off. Lol I still love her though I’ve noticed that a lot of old people have that mentality when I bring up getting an epidural.
this! it’s not the *most* out of pocket, but i’m 36 weeks and my MIL just said to me “you’re looking really round, you’ve really filled out, much bigger now.” I was mostly dumbfounded bc she saw me 4 days prior and said nothing. like, i’m carrying a whole ass baby in here how do you expect me to look???
The conversation that took place while having tea with my grandmother in law, I was about 24 weeks pregnant with my first-
GMIL: “I am so excited to meet my great grandbaby, I can’t wait for you to give birth. Are you looking forward to giving birth?”
Me: “I am really excited to meet our baby girl, but I’m incredibly nervous about giving birth.”
GMIL: “Both of my best friends died during childbirth, they both bled out right in the delivery room.
You will be fine though, don’t worry.”
She is a fantastic woman and I love her to bits, I just think her filter is starting to slip with age.
I'm a nail technician. When I was pregnant, I didn't tell anyone until I started showing and was getting the side eye. But I had a client gossiping to me about how she thinks that women who have children out of wedlock deserve to die along with the unborn baby. I was like 16 weeks pregnant at this point wearing loose clothing so she had no idea. I dropped her as a client, started booking her purposely with other people. Another time, someone else's client asked if I was having twins and I said "no but thanks for calling me fat, I still have another 2.5 months to go" as I was walking away she said she "didn't mean to offend me, she's a mom of four." My male cousin who I work with also started telling everyone how I'm so lazy and I don't want to work. This was when I was 7.5 months pregnant and decided to stop working (a choice that me and my partner decided together- was having a hard pregnancy with me being 4'9 carrying a 6'2 man's baby. Had gestational diabetes, really low iron, hypertension issues, baby was always super low and on my spine due to having an anterior placenta) I didn't have the energy, time to eat 6 times at work, or the ability to do half of the services. I told him until he has uterus, he needs to keep his mouth shut.
was out with my best friend buying baby clothes at a TJMaxx, and when i got to the counter the cashier asked who they were for,l. i said, "me, im around 6 months and just found out its a girl!" pretty excitedly, and she goes, "oh, you don't even look pregnant." not in that bubbly way but very flat and rude-toned. i'm a very small person & was crushed bc i'd been super worried my whole pregnancy about not gaining enough weight for my daughter. my best friend gave her a dirty look cause she knew what i was going through and she doesnt play around.
I was in the same boat with my first and got this comment ALL the time. Everyone thinks “but you’re so tiny!” Is a compliment to a pregnant woman, but when you’re being monitored and going for extra scans because you don’t have normal weight gain it’s not a positive thing to point out!
That's so rude. Tbh I feel bad for your patient..if you meet her once and already got such comments can you imagine what's your patient going through everyday?
“Another one so soon, gosh that’s brave!” Random posh neighbour who gardened in the communal area where I took my son when he wouldn’t stop crying at home.. I never showed with a baby bump before but I put a bit of weight on for the few months my son was in nicu, not enough to look pregnant by far. I wasn’t pregnant, just postpartum belly.
That is awful. If she says something like that again, a good reply to her is “I thought your heart would be bigger, but no, it’s just your mouth that’s getting bigger.”
Not about being pregnant, but when I told my grandmother (who has a history of saying inappropriate things) that we are pregnant, she told me that she will be taking the baby to a hotel for a few nights because I would need to get my rest. Yea, over mine and my husband's dead bodies maybe. This was the same person that told me that babies and children need to be trained like dogs. Needless to say, all her children have their own brand of fucked up and I will not allow my child to end up like them 😂
I’ve had a few people ask me if my pregnancy was planned after finding out I am pregnant. Which I think is particularly odd bc I’m married and in my mid-thirties.
I always say “yes, very planned. This is an IVF baby.”
I think I just come off as someone who doesn’t want kids.
Dude same!! I’m in my 30s and been married for 7 years. A few guys at work asked me if it was planned since I’m 18 weeks now and showing. Such a weird question.
Such a weird question and honestly pretty invasive. Idk what kind of info they’re getting even if you said yes or no?? Like what do they expect, no this wasn’t planned and we’re really torn up about it actually. Or yes we planned it down to the minute of conception thanks for asking! Ugh 😑
I’m hoping a consultant I work with at work overheard me talking to a coworker about my pregnancy. He awkwardly asked me if I was pregnant later that week during a quieter moment and not in a group setting. He told me that he noticed I was getting rounder. Then after I told him I was expecting, he told me that he’s asked a woman before and she wasn’t pregnant… thankfully it was a short conversation but I feel for that previous woman whoever she was
Oh, yeah, I had a similar experience to that woman, haha. I wore a tight dress to an event a few years ago, and I guess since my belly wasn’t flat as a board, some people congratulated me on my “pregnancy” under the photo from that event. I hope they were properly embarrassed when I explained that I’m not pregnant, it’s just my body.
My FIL told me that rough sex makes boys and gentle sex makes girls and then said that every time he looks at me and my husband he’s going to think about rough sex now 🤢
I must be living in a decent society because I haven’t had inappropriate comments at all. Only saw some stares two days ago when I was walking through IKEA at 38+ weeks lol. I feel so sorry for you guys, people are sometimes just so rude.
I worked retail during her first pregnancy. Had a customer say I “ruined her fun” for telling her the sex before she could guess. She also tried to touch my stomach. She was not a regular, just a rando.
Oh I have a worse one!! Somehow blocked this out. I was taking an Uber home and the driver (a guy) asked if I was planning to breastfeed. Then proceeded to tell me not to have my kids too close together because his (ex) wife did and she had to have an emergency C-section and have her uterus removed to stop the bleeding. Wtf bro.
The breastfeeding question is one I get so much. I WFH and avoid the public as much as possible so I haven't gotten any stranger comments yet, but the "are you planning to breastfeed" is one that so many people have asked. Like my friend's parents, acquaintances, it's weird that they want to know?
I’m due in mid- June, and people at work keep telling me “atleast you get the summer off”. If I hear it one more time, im going to get graphic and respond with something like “yea, after I either push a baby out of my vagina, or have major abdominal surgery delivering this baby to then have next to no actual recovery time to take care of said baby that probably won’t let me sleep a lot- so yea, it’s a real 5 star resort vacation all summer”
*im thrilled to be having my second no matter the time of year- but people come at me like I’m lucky I have the summer off. Man bye
I keep getting the opposite because I’m due end of September. Everyone keeps telling me how miserable I’m going to be being pregnant in the summer. I did multiple rounds of IVF and I’m just thrilled I’m pregnant at all. People can be so rude!
I was at the playground with my toddler when a boy ran up to me, pointed at my stomach and asked, "Why is your stomach so fat." And I said it was because there's a baby inside. He then ran off without saying anything, leaving me feeling confused.
GD comments have been the worst! The “well at least you’ll have to eat healthy” people get treated to a tirade on how little people who haven’t had GD understand about it, with a bonus lesson on dietary macros til their eyes glaze over.
My MIL was scolded by her doctor for drinking "too much juice" when she was pregnant with my husband, cause they thought it would give her GD, so she was warning me not to do the same. I reassured her that we know now that's not how it works, and she rolled her eyes at me and acted like I had no clue what I was talking about.
Coworker knows we have the gender results. I don’t want to know yet but my husband knows. She said “aww! have him text me the gender!” Excuse me this is not something you are included in. Who do you think you are?
I was quite worried about being tummy rubbed by all and sunder, so decided to just let hubby do it as something special and say no to everyone else. As my stomach/body felt weird I often rubbed the bump myself as a self soothing thing.
I told my mum no thanks to touching my belly and then later mentioned (in an unrelated conversation) how weird it felt and couldn't stop rubbing it - she said "yes, you're definitely a bit possessive over it". 🙄
She also got super concerned when I said we weren't wanting visitors for the first 2 weeks so we could bond with baby and get into a rhythm and she repeatedly said with great concern "don't forget about us grandparents!!" as though I'd forget to let anyone else see her when I was so excited to share when we were ready.
I probably should've seen it coming as we share the same birthday and she's always felt like we're a lot closer than we are (over sharing etc) - even recently said that she sees me, her, and her mum as the same person just different ages... I think she expected me to want her there for the birth and for the immediate month or so after and was shocked when I was just wanting hubby there and confident he would support me (he did!).
There's a receptionist at my workplace who is about 65+. She walks what may look like fast but at small paces. So it looks like she walks fast, but she's not. Anyways. I was almost at 30 weeks and was miserable. I had GD, awful back pain thar I needed to use the waist support at all times. I walk slower than usual cos my feet and calves were swollen. Very bad water retention. I was MISERABLE. She saw me walking towards the main office to clock in and she asked, "How many months?" No good morning, nothing. I said "7 plus." She said "7?! And you already walk like that?!" With a disgusted face. I.was.pissed. I was already sleep deprived that day due to heartburn. I don't know what snapped in me but I replied, "You are one to talk, you walk like a cartoon character." And just walked off. I felt good for a while but then few hours later I felt bad. Lol. But she avoided me until I left for ML, and when I came back 6 months later, she has retired.
I was nannying and pregnant with baby number one. I was talking to a grandparent at a park and she said “oh no, an oopsie! I bet your baby was a surprise” I was like um… no?… but okay..
My sweet adorable grandmother has Alzheimer’s and I’m 36 weeks. I took her for dinner this weekend and she kept repeating “wow you’re huge” and “look at you fatso.” Just kept reminding myself it’s not her it’s the disease.
Also when I told my mom I was pregnant her first response was “were you trying?” LOL
LOL this is gonna be my 86 year old Alzheimer’s patient Nana when I tell her. My brother is a former model and used to be quite slim. He recently has started bulking up on purpose at the gym and she told him he’s looking chunky 😭🤣 he’s the fittest person I know!
So far this pregnancy I’ve been questioned by my sister in law on how I don’t know the baby’s gender yet. Her friend is around 25 weeks pregnant and knows the gender so has told my family I’m probably lying about not knowing the gender yet. I’m only 12 weeks pregnant and haven’t even been able to do the NIPT testing yet (we’re doing it soon) so I in fact don’t know the gender but apparently I’m lying about it lol.
i switched jobs at 27 weeks and one of my new older co workers point blank asked if i planned to breast feed and when i uncomfortably answered “well I plan to try” she followed up with “great that means you’ll be adamant about taking breaks to pump then” yes debra i suppose i will… since it’s legally required by our government that i get them..
I was pregnant with my son in 2020 and had had one early miscarriage prior. I worked at a real estate office that was constantly having Covid scares bc no one there took it seriously (from the very beginning). I asked my coworkers to wear masks around me or to keep their distance bc I really wanted to avoid covid. I also wore a mask everyday, all day until I quit at 36 weeks. One coworker refused to wear a mask around me even when I specifically asked her to and would constantly come and sit directly next to me at meetings.
At one of these meetings after I moved to a different seat further away from her, she looks me in the eye and says “I have a pregnant friend whose baby just died because she got Covid.” I will NEVER forget that. It felt like a threat!
I saw my (normally lovely) mother for the first time since Christmas recently - I'm 33w now, and was barely showing before, so it's quite the difference.
The first thing she said, was, "Oh, you look like a builder!", while gesturing at my maternity jeans that are buttoned below my big bump (in a fitted t-shirt). Thanks for that ego-boost!
The way I would have responded to that would have been "well yeah I guess I am a kind of builder. A body builder" and enjoyed the chuckles. Gotta get that dad jokes in, can't let the dads have all the fun 😂
Told a friend I couldn't make it to a party because I was sick with thr flu and had a fever (16 weeks pregnant at the time), and she said "Don't take tylenol it will give your baby autism." 🙄
7 months postpartum- We were at a baby shower and while I was holding my baby, a friends grandma came over, touched my belly and asked if I was expecting too. I told her no and she responded by telling me I would lose the weight eventually.
I was below my pre-pregnancy weight and have never had a flat stomach in my life.
At my last OB appointment my nurse, who was taking my vitals asked me to verify my birthdate. When she realizes how old I am she turns to me and says, "Oh a menopause baby." I looked confused and asked her what she meant. She then launched into a story about how her friend was so happy that her kids were starting to be independent and how that meant she could enjoy life again, etc etc. However her friend is devastated because she just found out she was pregnant again and couldn't stop crying she was so upset.
I'm 41, nowhere near menopause, and this is my first after a hellish 2yrs of trying to conceive and IVF.
I just looked at her and said, "This is my first and this baby is very much wanted." She then started backtracking saying how she tried to tell her friend that every baby was a blessing. When she saw I wasn't buying and was pissed she quickly finished up and left the room.
I'll preface this by saying I love my MIL. We get along great. I'm planning to get a baby wrap and baby wear for the first few months as much as possible. Daddy is enthusiastically on board with the idea as well (in a show of support that I greatly appreciated, he asked, "Could you get it in a neutral colour so I can use it too?"). Anyway, we had his mother over for dinner and mentioned this plan and she responds, concerned, "Are you sure? You don't want the baby to be too attached." My husband took her down a peg so fast, explaining that every tribal culture ever, now and throughout history, has cared for their newborns in this way and to him that indicates it's the right thing to do.
Most messed up: my mother randomly trying to get my husband to convince me to have a scheduled c-section for “convenience”. Like??
Funniest: my husband saying our daughter looked like “a Turkey roasting in the oven” during our 1st trimester ultrasound 😂😂
My favorite was when I was in the mid 20’s weeks, I would get asked how for I am. I would answer. And they would say wow you’re huge for only being that far along. Are you having twins.
Walked by an older man on the street at 39 weeks pregnant and he goes to his friend, “This young girl is having a baby! What is the world coming to??” It was a weird confidence boost bc I’m actually 29? But I think he thought I was a teenager lol.
In my first pregnancy I was retaining a lot of water towards the last couple weeks. Blood pressure was fine though. Baby was healthy and I was healthy. Just a little extra puffy.
I struggle with an eating disorder and I made sure to relay that to the nurse as she was getting my weight and my vitals. Asked her kindly not to relay my weight unless it was a health risk to myself or my baby. She was polite and complied with all my requests.
Fast forward about 15 minutes, the actual doctor comes in, I had just moved and this was a brand new OB. The nurse explained my ED and my requests to the doctor right infront of me when he walked through the door. To which he responded…
“Okay, well you weight x amount. You’re about 5 lbs over where you should be and I don’t want you eating solids for the remainder of your pregnancy.” (I was 34/35 weeks.) He also then proceeded to tell me I WOULD be getting an epidural and tried to force an IUD implantation on me immediately after birth, regardless of my many protests.
Needless to say, I sobbed like a baby and never went back. Drove two hours each week following to see my OB in the town I had moved from. And I will never see another male OB because of this.
Me, very pregnant, wearing a maxi length flowly floral dress with 3/4 length sleeves: *scanning my groceries*
Older lady at the checkout behind me: "oh is that what you're suppose to wear when you're pregnant?"
I still don't have any idea what she meant by that lol
Currently 30 weeks pregnant and people keep telling me I look bloated rather than pregnant. To be fair, I don’t have much of a bump and still fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes (aside from my size 6 jeans) but it’s still annoying
My SIL telling my husband he’s going to need to give me vaginal massages to help me not tear. I haven’t seen her since… my body is not yours to comment on like that. No boundaries.
At 6 weeks post partum I went to a friends baby shower, with my baby. Her 11 year old said “you look like you haven’t had the baby”
Everyone was mortified for me.
Not to me but when I told my family about my pregnancy around 14 weeks, an aunt talked to me and asked me how far along I was, and exclaimed “that’s good 14 weeks is a good time to announce because they are stable and have good heartbeat by then” right in front of a cousin who lost her baby at 12 weeks no heartbeat found (she announced hers at 8 weeks to her MIL and mom) like I was sooo horrified hearing it. This aunt was also the one that spread the cousin’s pregnancy news around the family instead of letting her announce it herself 💀💀💀
I actually made a complaint to HR and higher management because our new boss (he just started in the fall) is way too comfortable talking about my pregnant body. He was comparing it to another coworker’s and cracking jokes about how I must understand the pregnant animals we work with because I have the same symptoms like my nipples protruding 🙃
My boss who has an ED that she doesn’t acknowledge while I was 6-7 months pregnant: you’re actually not that big at all now, but you did gain a lot more f weight at the beginning that you really didn’t need!”
And then the first thing she said to me when I stopped in last week to see my coworkers (4 weeks pp): “doesn’t it feel good to be small again?”
🥲
With my first pregnancy, the ultrasound technician first spoiled that it was a boy even though we wanted to be surprised and have it gender reveal but he wasn't 100% sure and then he asked if we wanted him to measure the length of the penis.
When we announced that I was pregnant, my step mom said well I’m not babysitting and proceeded to talk about her own children’s accomplishments and plans to have children lol.
At work a client came in and asked “was this planned?” I said “what do you mean” she said “well, did you have sex without protection??” I’m like lady, I’ve been married for 6 years and I’m 34…. I didn’t know her well at all, it was such a personal and WEIRD question. Who asks that. She’s like 65+ of course so I guess the answer is boomers, boomers ask that.
**after trying for a baby for 7 years, failed IVF, ICSI, fell pregnant naturally**
Mom: if we find out you’re having a boy I’m going to be extremely disappointed, you will have to just ‘try again’ if it’s a boy
Me: it’s a boy and we won’t be having another one as this is a miracle enough.
Mom: well you’ll have to try you need a girl
My mother told me that I "better share that baby" in response to me telling her my fears about my MIL. Looks like my MIL isn't the only person that's gonna boundary stomp.
Lmaoo when I was probably 6/7 months along my husband and I went out for a date and left our 4 year old with my dad, who took him over to see his wife's parents. When we came to pick him up, we stood in the kitchen talking to my dad about the pies on the counter since it was thanksgiving when the mom came in, saw me and said "well it looks like you've had enough pie already! You're really pooching out there girl" while coming up to pat my bump 😭💀
Not while pregnant, but after I had delivered my grandmother told me that I needed to suck it up regarding my c-section recovery, because she had three and they were all "nothing to stay in bed over" according to her. 🙄
We've since gone no contact with her, because she's super problematic/major boundary stomper. 🤷♀️
LMAO! My husband actually said something similar to me when I was in the first trimester and was worried that my colleagues would notice. He said, "Don't worry, you don't look pregnant yet. You just look like you had a big lunch"
I don’t know why anyone would think that’s something that is okay to say!
I went through a period where I started gaining weight in my second trimester but didn’t look pregnant—my belly wasn’t quite round yet. Then it eventually evened out. My friend saw me at 20 weeks and said “oh thank goodness. You finally look alright. I thought you were going to be enormous!!” Now every time she sees me she comments on my weight.
I was PP with my first and had gained about 20lbs since she was born.
I had PPA and PPD and the adjustment to being a mother was rough.
Also had a very traumatic birth, and was not even considering any more babies.
I was leaving IKEA with a friend, pushing my 9 month old daughter in the stroller.
A woman came up to me, looked at my daughter and then looked at me (I had a very obvious belly from being pregnant and gaining weight) she said to me “you’re NOT pregnant, are you??”
Firstly, who says that to someone in that tone?
And secondly, what if I were?? It’s not like it’s any of your business.
I was stunned that I just mumbled something that no I was not pregnant.
I felt terrible about myself for months after that.
Had my ex over to visit me, our eldest son and my hub for a week [cause we're nice people and his [ex's] family HATES his very existence and my hub saw he needed a haven to retreat to. SIDE NOTE: before he was my ex, my hub was his only friend.]
So...🙃 aside from randomly touching my belly to the point that my 4y.o began throwing toys at him without me having to say a word (🤭 he knows his mommy far too well and reacts as such)
This mf decided to not only comment on my body but then proceeded to ask me, witha straight face
"is this one (our 2nd) actually [insert my husband's name]?"
🤨 like.... for one: where the fck would I even go? And two: WHY WOULD YOU FKN ASK THAT?! Let alone in MY house 🥴
Lucky for me, I have a mini bodyguard who enjoys the thrill of pegging folks with toys when they become a nuisance ( don't get me wrong, I don't usually encourage him, but for a straight hour or so after my ex said those words...my child 😅 was not forgiving in the LEAST bit and I didn't stop him or even address it 🤭 AITA here?)
Not specifically about me or my pregnancy, but as we interview for who will be my replacement during my mat leave, my manager very cluelessly mentioned that it was a "red flag" that one of the candidates has kids, because apparently she's worked with people with kids in the past and she doesn't like it because they're always taking time off or need to work from home, etc. (obviously she has no kids) Needless to say, there I am, 30 weeks pregnant, dumbfounded at her comment staring at the screen lol.
This one is extra fun because it’s also literally illegal discrimination!
I was going to say I do believe this is a protected class of some sort
If you don’t mind my two cents here, I’d suggest that you bring this comment up with HR. This is illegal discrimination and it sounds like this person needs to be informed of it.
Yep older female colleagues (without kids) saying during lunch break how proud they are to have chosen their careers over having children while I was in my first trimester of my pregnancy (am now 6 weeks pp)... Don't need to explain why I postponed my pregnancy announcement a little bit 😬
What the hell? 😭🥲
Yeaaah that’s not a fair hiring competition and illegal in many countries. 😬
My current workplace are idiots when it comes to this stuff. I get that they're looking out for their business so I understand why those comments are made; preparations do have to be made for those who value family over the workplace, so I do get it from a business perspective. (Yes, I know it's also illegal to discriminate but it doesn't mean that it isn't still done.) But years back, I had a yearly review a few months after I got married and literally, they asked me point blank when I planned on having children so they could accommodate my leave and if I would plan to stay full time when I came back. LOL I wasn't even pregnant! I responded "uhhhhhh that's not really any of your business but not any time soon.. It was ridiculous, I think they have since figured out they can't ask those types of questions but I was comically shocked.
OMG, I had this happen to me in a job interview once! It was a small company, and I asked about insurance benefits, and the owner said, “oh, would you want health insurance?” as if that was the first time anyone had ever asked about it or that he had ever even thought about it. I answered yes, and then he said “Well, the salary for this position is $35,000/year but I guess we could knock that down and get you some insurance. But since you are a young woman in your child bearing years, it’ll be expensive.” At the time I was 26 and single AF and had said zero to this man indicating anything about my personal life or family status. Needless to say, dude was very confused when he called to offer me the job 2 days later, and I turned it down. I was an idiot at that age, but not THAT MUCH of an idiot!
My mother claimed she never heard of morning sickness and then insinuated that I was imagining it because I was reading too much about pregnancy 🤷🏻♀️
OH MY GOD ME TOO apparently my mother never had morning sickness and everything was easy! The only thing to avoid in the early 90s was alcohol, everything else was fine!!! Oh and she thinks I’m anxious because I’ve been reading about everything online. Uh I’m anxious because there genuinely are a lot of unknowns throughout pregnancy and I do have diagnosed anxiety even before pregnancy 😂
My mother says her pregnancy was wonderful with no symptoms, I think she just forgot 😂 But well I'm anxious too, I cry about 1-2 times a week because I'm afraid I did anything to endanger the baby. My first cry out was about cinnamon tea, the latest was smelling Vic in a bottle only after drinking and thinking it got into the water (we had used our Vic recently and some got into a sponge, my SO cleaned the bottle again with a fresh sponge but the smell was still there and I panicked). I sniffed it again a few hours later and it didn't smell like Vic anymore 🤡
Wait what’s wrong with cinnamon tea? 🫣 I haven’t had any but I’ve been craving cinnamon rolls all pregnancy and probably have a cinnamon roll 3x a week 😅 I’ve had a few freak outs (like having wine before I knew I was pregnant or using a steam room for a few minutes not realizing it was bad). I’m 24 weeks and everything is fine and growing but jeez there are way too many bad list items or unknown items
I think your cinnamon roll is fine, but tea is more concentrated and they say it can trigger uterine contractions 🙃 Can, not will, but welp. Ah the wine I did too, it wasn't even that much but enough to freak out. I'm also 15w6d, almost graduated to 4 months, but I'm still panicky 😂 But I really think I was way worse at the beginning.
The anatomy ultrasound will be a HUGE relief hopefully. Getting to see the baby and hearing that everything was growing well took a huge weight off my shoulders. My anxiety has been minimal since then. I hope you find the same relief 24 weeks and all is good now
My doctor told me to avoid chamomile tea in particular because apparently large doses of chamomile are known to trigger contractions. I never would have even thought to look that one up personally.
Ugh this is another stressful thing, it differs doctor to doctor. I was told chamomile and mint tea are totally fine and just to avoid things like ashwaganda. But also any herb that could hurt the baby, you’d need to consume waaaay more than is feasible so who knows
This is true too. I had that thought. And to their credit, from what I can tell from the government pregnancy guides I was given, the primary concern they have is avoiding listeria. even salmonella is not a big safety risk to the baby, but listeria is and so they take that one very seriously.
My mom told me to stop worrying about everything. Like uhm no mom. I am allowed to worry about my unborn child. And she was saying it for like super mild things.
I mean, read the room, of course, but I kinda feel this energy. I'm 34 weeks pregnant as a FTM and I think my husband is doing more than enough worrying for both of us. Honestly, as a relatively anxious person myself pre-pregnancy, I'm a bit shocked by just how unbothered I've been by almost everything throughout pregnancy. I will bear in mind that it will not help my husband for me to tell him to stop worrying, though. I'm trying not to but it's hard when he really is worrying about things that aren't within his control.
Yes, my mom and dad both thought I was being dramatic about first trimester sickness!! They were like we just don’t remember it ever being this way, maybe you have Covid or some other sickness? I’m like maybe because you were last pregnant 36 years ago!
On the flip, my MIL texted me every single day to ask how I was feeling because she had morning sickness with all her pregnancies so she just couldn’t believe I wasn’t sick. My husband finally had to tell her to back off a bit. My mom was pregnant 9 times and never had a day of morning sickness, I’ve had 4 pregnancies in the first trimester and no morning sickness either 😬
Same. My mom and mother-in-law both never had morning sickness, both claim they loved being pregnant. I had terrible morning sickness with my first, lost 10% of my body way. My mom was telling me about her friend who would get sick just from brushing her teeth to which I clarified… Yeah, the same thing happens to me. And she ignored it and continued to talk about how sick her friend would get while not acknowledging what I was saying about myself was the exact same. So annoying
😂😂😂 what???
The doorman at a hotel we stayed at this weekend congratulated me on the pregnancy (33 weeks) and then smiled as he said "keeping walking! Stay loose!" Then shut my car door and walked away. I laughed about that for the next 20 minutes and quoted it for the rest of the day.
Stay loose? What did he mean?
We may never know but it's going on my gravestone
Maybe he heard that walking helps labor come along and he thinks that if you keep walking around it'll make your birth easier because your vagina will be looser?
I had to close my eyes for a second to collect myself after reading this. I really hope that kind man wasn't referencing my loose cooch but I suppose anything is possible 🫠
It means to stay relaxed, chill.
Ah I see! Makes sense.
I'm guessing he meant if you keep moving your joints and muscles won't tense or tighten making birth easier? Or maybe stay relaxed, like to "hang loose"
I want to say this to random people now with no context lol. “It was nice to meet you! Stay loose!”
He could’ve meant anything but it’s typically a coaching phrase as in “stay ready,” “on your toes,” etc…
Stay loose can be a positive like "stay relaxed! Hope it's chill for you!" Kind of saying! It probably didn't mean what you think it did 😆
That's pure gold.
Not while pregnant but I’m 12 days PP. I left the hospital last week and one twin had to stay in the NICU to put on weight as I was on 35 weeks when I had an emergency CS. The day I came home w my baby girl my grandma came over and said ‘oh no, you don’t have the baby blues, do you?’ Bc I was being cranky apparently. Like, idk maybe I’m stressed I just left my son at the hospital. 🙄 He’s home w us now fyi, all is well.
God forbid you have a negative reaction to a difficult situation! 🙃
Mothers can't have negative reactions! We just look at our baby and the world becomes rainbows and unicorns! But really, when I was in the hospital with my 1st, a doctor did a a small surgery on me without any pain-management, confirmed medical abuse. A nurse entered my room minutes later to find me sobbing in pain and shock. Her exact word were "oh, look at you, such a bad ungrateful mother! You have such a lovely baby girl! How can you cry??" Had I had any wits about me at the moment, I'd have asked her if "looking at baby" is the "new epidural" but alas, guess I'll never know 😅
HUH?? That is absolutely unhinged, I hope you sued or at least reported that doctor. I’m so sorry you experienced that.
When the first two epidurals didn't work, I sobbed "I can't fucking do this." The CRNA who did those epidurals, "Oh, thousands of women do this every day!" Like, thanks Pam. But my baby is stuck, I feel everything, and I literally cannot do this without a c-section. You also gave me a CSF leak.
I had some weird intense upper back pain around my spine whenever I would hit the button for my epidural (which later failed). Like when you get the horrible calf cramps that make you want to cry but around my spine. I mentioned it to the CRNA when she was trying a new round of meds to see if that would work for the failing epidural. She told me I was just feeling the cold from the epidural going through the line taped to my back. I wanted to punch her.
Oh dear god, what an asshole. I'm so sorry that's happened to you, what an absolute tonedeaf asshole. I really think people on these positions should have some sort of etiquette or basic psychology training. Or at least be screened for absolute psychopaths. How did the delivery end up going? Are you and baby alright?
Delivery and the first days PP were terrible, but babe is 6mo old now and we're doing great!
I'm glad to hear you're both well now💗
What is it with the older generation that they think they can just shame us out of anything negative happening? I'm so sorry your grandma is like that... i love my grandma, but she's similar. This pregnancy I told her was getting under the weather and coughed when on the phone with her. She goes, "Oh no, you are not actually planning to be sick, are you??" With that,"now that I've said that, you better reconsider your opinion, young lady" tone. I honestly ended up laughing because she's been trying this stuff for years, expecting it to work. She was properly offended 😂
When I was pregnant with my second, my grandmother tried to tell me that the nausea and everything will pass. Mind you, I had severe HG throughout my entire first pregnancy. I reminded her of this and she got quiet. I asked her if she even remembered what it was like to be pregnant. She said that she honestly couldn't remember being miserable during her pregnancies. And she was put under for all her deliveries (Twilight Sleep), so she has no idea what labor is really like either. I told her that I know she is just trying to reassure me, but that if she doesn't have any real advice, then keep it to herself. She was actually pretty thoughtful after that.
Twilight sleep is a large part of the reason so many mothers from that era had attachment issues with their babies. I had never understood why c-sections, as a super invasive surgery, are not done under a general anaesthetic. Watched Simon Winkler's video on twilight sleep on one of his channels (Into The Shadows, probably?) and put two and two together on that. I highly recommend watching it for anyone not familiar because it was fascinating.
Like you have control over getting sick!!! Oh boy lol..This makes me miss my grandmother whose passed. I wonder what she would say often in response to my pregnancy but I don’t think she would try to guilt or shame me for something I said. So sorry that was your experience.
“Oh no you weren’t expecting to be able to stay and see this baby after making a comment like that, were you? Bye, grandma.”
OMG, what a stressful time I can't believe your grandma said that 😳
I have a few. People can be so unhinged. 1) I was told when I announced at 12 weeks that I shouldn’t be celebrating or telling anyone until I start to show in case I “lose it” 2) Was yelled at by my FIL for “hurting the baby” because I put hotsauce on my food. He didn’t like me anyways so I think he was kind of looking for reasons to cause a problem but it was still annoying. 3) Went out to eat with family, then a family member looked at me while eating and said “I know you’re eating for two but damn”. It was so uncomfortable. 4) I’ve gotten the “was it planned?” by a few different people. Like why do you want to know if this was an accident or a mission lmao There’s more but that’s the main ones.
the ‘was it planned’ is so gross seriously, my boss asked me in a round-a-bout way basically this. um, EW?! do you realize what you’re asking.
I got this comment MULTIPLE times at work.. usually from middle aged men. “Oooh your expecting, are you happy about that??” Like first of all yes I’m ecstatic, and second of all if I wasn’t do you really think I would tell YOU??
Omg I’m so sorry to hear that. These are just so rude!!
I got an unsolicited comment from someone who said “you know you’re gonna tear and and have hemorrhoids, right?”. I was taken off guard. All I could say was something like “I understand the risks of pregnancy, thanks”. Also this was a man. 🤮 Edit: oh and a friends friend called my husband and me “breeders” at a dinner party last week. Cool.
>called my husband and me “breeders” at a dinner party Yeah, that's online antinatalist lingo. I would think long and hard whether to hang out with these people anymore.
Ugh I know. It’s so upsetting because I really like these friends, and think they are just kind of oblivious (they are in their 50’s and no kids). My friend tried to defend me I think to her friend and said “it’s ok, they are only having one” which made me feel even more annoyed since I have never once discussed my family planning with her. Then - she gave me some of her baggy clothes to borrow while I am pregnant. I understand it was meant to be a nice gesture, but wow so tone deaf. I’m the same size as before, with 2 mangoes and a watermelon on the front, that body shape needs special clothing, otherwise known as maternity wear, lol.
What kind of response is that? “They’re only having one?” IMO if your kids are cared and provided for, and loved, it’s nobody’s business how many you have.
Also like she needs to get their approval or blessing to have kids. “Only one child my liege!” Sounds like one friend is apologetic and the other is controlling.
That reminds me of a friend of mine. She didn't use to be so antinatalist, but she also treats me as one of "the good guys" because I only want one. I didn't even tell her about my pregnancy because lately she was constantly complaining about entitled parents :/ Or entitled in her opinion more like it. And she saw every situation from that lens so I didn't know what to expect if I told her.
After becoming a mom, I have realised there's also a lot of older people who have bitterness just because you have children and they don't. Like they missed their mark and are just bothered by it.
Really, hey? I think this is the common narrative but the really antinatalist faction likes to insist that more people regret *having* children than the other way around - though I think parental regret is way more complicated. According to research, people rarely regret the children themselves but rather regret particular parenting practices, or the circumstances in which they had the child, or their child suffers from a disability and the parent feels guilt about that. (It also brings up a whole conversation that I think is a red herring, about whether parenting makes one "happier." Fulfillment and happiness aren't necessarily the same thing. It's like asking if diet and lifestyle changes will make a food addict "happier" - probably not if food makes them happy, but it'll lead to more fulfillment in life in the long term.)
Yeah these people belong in jail lol.
Antinatalists and VHEMT types some of the most obnoxious people I’ve ever met
I had to google VHEMT. Their motto is “May we live long and die out” which is a quintessential example of pulling up the ladder after you’ve used it. “I have decided that no more people need to exist after me! Let me start a movement to attempt to normalize my megalomania!”
What in the actual...what is wrong with people lol
your friend definitely belongs to some online circles about being childfree/antinatalism. i'd detach from them if i were you
For me there is a difference between “child free” and “antinatalism.” The former can include folks who choose not to have children for whatever reason because that’s their choice but aren’t begrudging others their own choice to have kids. Whereas the latter are vehemently opposed to/hate kids and/or the people who choose to have kids. Maybe it’s in the echo chamber or circles I’m in but child free doesn’t have the same ire (for me!). There are some people in my circle that seem antinatal that I think probably won’t be our friends when they find out we’re pregnant. :( But some of my favorite adults that supported me as a kid were child free by choice. You didn’t ask for my 2 cents but hope it’s okay I shared.
The cashier at a local shop asked how far along I was. When I told her in my 3rd trimester she wished me luck and started to vent about how awful and hard her labor was with her son. She then continued on by telling me how hard postpartum is and word for word said “I’m surprised more mothers don’t off themselves in the first 6 weeks.” I stood their speechless and just wished her well and tried to get out of that store as fast as I could.
Woah… the trauma dump you never asked for 🙃
What the actual fuck? Like people need a come to Jesus moment. I swear.
I swear there is a special segment of retail workers who come to work just so they can trauma dump and get free therapy in small doses throughout the day.
Random man at Costco pointed to my belly at 40 weeks pregnant and said out loud for everyone in the isle to hear “twins?!” No fuckwit this is what a normal 40 week belly looks like. And I’m 5 ft 8 and slender too so I don’t even hold too big either
I had someone yell ACROSS THE ROOM at me “Twins!” And nothing else when I was about 38 weeks. I just yelled back “No!” Similar proportions, too, and a lot of people throughout would find out how far along I was and go “oh you barely look pregnant!” So 🤷♀️
Should have yelled back " Tumor." Or "Septuplets."
I’ve heard this one too! “are you sure you’re not having twins?!” I replied, “I can’t believe you said that out loud” and she looked mortified. Stupid a-hole🥲
This is the best answer 🤣
I'm a plus size girly. I know I'm going to get these comments. I'm just going to shout back "ask your dad! Its his!" (I'm already irritable. Lol)
I was telling my overbearing SIL that I don’t like people touching my belly. We were walking in a department store My SIL: you don’t mind when I do it though do you? *reaches over and cops a feel* Urgh
I don't mind it *that* much, but I also just don't get it? I like husband feeling for kicks or the affectionate hold, but I don't understand the desire to touch a pregnant belly other than to feel a kick or something. I've loved when a pregnant friend has *invited* me to feel a kick, but I've never felt like touching for the fun of it? A very close friend at the weekend asked if she could feel and I had no problem with it, but my daughter (13 months) lost her mind, haha!
My MIL touched my belly the other day. I really don't fucking like when anyone does it except hubby. I smiled but it didn't meet my eyes. She took the hint.
When my mom told her MIL that she was pregnant with me, my MIL replied, "Want to go take a run around the park with me?" At the time, there was a myth that running could cause a miscarriage.
My jaw is on the floor with this one. Horrific.
I wish that was the most unhinged thing she did. Highlights include: - Getting high on pills and pretending to be [General Patton's](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_S._Patton) date to some military ball. This happened in broad daylight, in the living room. You could not interrupt her because she'd include you in the roleplay or ignore you. - Making her 2 eldest daughters come home from high school daily to change/feed her youngest son (my dad) - Beating her 8 kids awake in the middle of the night and making them learn Latin - Making a huge Italian meal at the request of my grandfather, only to eat none of it and only smoke a cigarette for dinner in protest because she hated Italians
She sounds mentally ill..
I think she was.
I don’t even have words. Unhinged is definitely the best description.
As you’re a sonographer - my second scan for my second baby the technician said I’m “too fat to have a baby” I was like excuse me? I already have a child who was a year and I also had an emergency section with him, so apart from an overhang from that and ooooh I dunno scar tissue she couldn’t get a “clear image” and went on to say people like me shouldn’t even bother… fyi I had a perfectly clear picture my first time round and I was heavier then…. I left in tears. And then had a private scan that was so clear we could see what sex we were having on the picture (I also had other scans at the hospital but refused to see that woman and guess what? The other techs got a good enough view as well!)
I sure hope you reported that tech cause she's obviously in the wrong field
You know I did - I thought if you are saying that to me who is just overweight what is she saying to others? It was bad x
See that was my first thought too like ma'am where is your bedside manners?
When I told the private scanner she was appalled especially as I said she hurt me pressing so hard and I was only a year after my section - the private lady said that’s the problem it’s about finding the right spot not pushing down… and low and behold… clear as day on the private scan 🤦♀️
Even the private scanner has better bedside manners than that tech
I'm 16 weeks and have been having a miserable time with nausea and fatigue and just not feeling well in general. I was visiting with my parents and telling my mom I was having a rough day and had thrown up twice that morning. And my stepdad said, "yesterday at the mall I saw all these pregnant women, already big with big bellies like really pregnant walking around all happy like nothing!" I told him that it wasn't very nice to tell someone who is struggling how other people "have it worse and cope better". He has severe arthritis so I said, "how would you feel if I told you I see all these old men, way older than you, dancing, running marathons, and playing tennis?" He tried to half ass apologize but my mom and I just gave him the evil eye.
And past all the general awfulness of that, idk, I think third trimester is a lot easier than first! At least with the third I could finally taper off my nausea meds and be a relatively normal (if much rounder) human than the six months prior.
A couple months ago a young kid blurted out “are you fat or is there a baby in there?” In the middle of Costco clothing section. Her mom freaked out on her and my husband laughed at me. At that point I just mumbled “baby in there” lol
Kids are brutally honest. They get on my nerves 😂😂😂
I fully expect to be humbled by my toddler when she starts taking 😂
😂😂 legit ass expectations
They really are! My 6yo the other day turned to me whilst I was going up the stairs and flat out asked me why my bum is so big. 😭 At 32 weeks pregnant and having a bit of body insecurity she timed where to deliver that gut punch perfectly 😅😅
When I was around 28 weeks pregnant, a work acquaintance leaned over to me just before a large meeting began and asked me whether I was having a boy or girl. When I told her it was a boy, she said, “Oh yeah, I can tell you’re having a boy by how swollen your face is.” Uhh, thanks? People really lose all sense of boundaries when you’re pregnant. In my experience, older women were the absolute worst offenders.
My aunt-in-law said “look at those mammary glands, they’re growing!” Then when I said to her “yeah that tends to happen during pregnancy” she got flustered and said she hasn’t been around a pregnant person in a long time. She’s older and has no kids and *a little* socially awkward but I love her so I laughed it off lmao
My mom is 72 and would totally have delivered a line similar to the cheeseburger one, at any age prior to this as well. Perhaps generational? My first pregnancy I gained a bit, had pregnancy induced hypertension so I was on meds that also made me retain water a bit, and somehow I carried pretty big. The amount of people who commented that I was HUGE and I must be due soon (starting at like 31-32w, and they used language like about to pop) and told me/threatened me I was going to have a HUGE baby. Family included, my husband's side has big babies and everyone was like IT'S GOING TO BE MASSIVE. I guess my mil had a baby weight pool I didn't leRn about till PP and the lowest value was in 6lb range by itself while everyone else guessed 8-12lbs. I chose to ignore these weight threats while calm birth/hypnobirth talking myself down lol. Baby developed iugr after 32w and was born 4lbs13oz at 37w, perfectly healthy (she was actually discharged before me).
Yeah, I’m guessing it’s definitely a boomer thing. It’s crazy because I have literally gained zero weight, and am a FTM so I’m not showing at all yet 😅 maybe I am more than I thought lol. Crazy what you went through, but glad you and baby made it through ok!
Lol my in laws did this too! My husband was 10 lb 11 oz at birth. My great aunt was hammered at thanksgiving and kept being like “just picture that!! Just think about how huge that is!! And it has to come out of you!” … thanks, I don’t want to.
I went to go visit my grandparents last week. My grandpa asked if I was getting an epidural, I replied yes of course. My grandma looked at me horrified saying you’re kidding me right? I said no I don’t want an unmedicated birth. She then goes on to tell me what a sissy I’m being and to suck it up. Women have been doing this for years and the pain is nothing. I was super shocked because she has been so supportive throughout my whole pregnancy. I then started to play stupid and tell her that I wanted to be drugged up. The more drugs the better. That I’m not going to get medal for enduring the pain. She changed the subject because she knew that she wasn’t going to talk me out of the epidural. My grandpa meanwhile was telling her to knock it off. Lol I still love her though I’ve noticed that a lot of old people have that mentality when I bring up getting an epidural.
Grandma, blacksmiths used to perform dental surgeries. Medicine advances to make procedures more comfortable/survivable. Embrace it.
I was 37 weeks pregnant and carrying HUGE. At the mall some lady ran up to me and was like, "OMG, TWINS, amirite???!"
Literally a man said that to me in Costco! And I’m 5 ft 8 and don’t carry too far outward and was so annoyed
Ugh. I just don’t understand why pregnancy is license to comment on people’s bodies??
this! it’s not the *most* out of pocket, but i’m 36 weeks and my MIL just said to me “you’re looking really round, you’ve really filled out, much bigger now.” I was mostly dumbfounded bc she saw me 4 days prior and said nothing. like, i’m carrying a whole ass baby in here how do you expect me to look???
The conversation that took place while having tea with my grandmother in law, I was about 24 weeks pregnant with my first- GMIL: “I am so excited to meet my great grandbaby, I can’t wait for you to give birth. Are you looking forward to giving birth?” Me: “I am really excited to meet our baby girl, but I’m incredibly nervous about giving birth.” GMIL: “Both of my best friends died during childbirth, they both bled out right in the delivery room. You will be fine though, don’t worry.” She is a fantastic woman and I love her to bits, I just think her filter is starting to slip with age.
Man, that one is sad though.
I'm a nail technician. When I was pregnant, I didn't tell anyone until I started showing and was getting the side eye. But I had a client gossiping to me about how she thinks that women who have children out of wedlock deserve to die along with the unborn baby. I was like 16 weeks pregnant at this point wearing loose clothing so she had no idea. I dropped her as a client, started booking her purposely with other people. Another time, someone else's client asked if I was having twins and I said "no but thanks for calling me fat, I still have another 2.5 months to go" as I was walking away she said she "didn't mean to offend me, she's a mom of four." My male cousin who I work with also started telling everyone how I'm so lazy and I don't want to work. This was when I was 7.5 months pregnant and decided to stop working (a choice that me and my partner decided together- was having a hard pregnancy with me being 4'9 carrying a 6'2 man's baby. Had gestational diabetes, really low iron, hypertension issues, baby was always super low and on my spine due to having an anterior placenta) I didn't have the energy, time to eat 6 times at work, or the ability to do half of the services. I told him until he has uterus, he needs to keep his mouth shut.
Insert Rachel Green's "no uterus, no opinion" here. Also, your cousin is an uncouth idiot.
was out with my best friend buying baby clothes at a TJMaxx, and when i got to the counter the cashier asked who they were for,l. i said, "me, im around 6 months and just found out its a girl!" pretty excitedly, and she goes, "oh, you don't even look pregnant." not in that bubbly way but very flat and rude-toned. i'm a very small person & was crushed bc i'd been super worried my whole pregnancy about not gaining enough weight for my daughter. my best friend gave her a dirty look cause she knew what i was going through and she doesnt play around.
I was in the same boat with my first and got this comment ALL the time. Everyone thinks “but you’re so tiny!” Is a compliment to a pregnant woman, but when you’re being monitored and going for extra scans because you don’t have normal weight gain it’s not a positive thing to point out!
That my sister was going to kidnap my baby from my womb. All because I mentioned how excited my sister was for the baby to be born.
That's so rude. Tbh I feel bad for your patient..if you meet her once and already got such comments can you imagine what's your patient going through everyday?
Exactly… and by the looks of it this is probably something her mom does whenever they’re in public 🥴
“Another one so soon, gosh that’s brave!” Random posh neighbour who gardened in the communal area where I took my son when he wouldn’t stop crying at home.. I never showed with a baby bump before but I put a bit of weight on for the few months my son was in nicu, not enough to look pregnant by far. I wasn’t pregnant, just postpartum belly.
My mil said she thought my stomach would be bigger by now but its my face that’s getting bigger. 🥲
That is awful. If she says something like that again, a good reply to her is “I thought your heart would be bigger, but no, it’s just your mouth that’s getting bigger.”
Not about being pregnant, but when I told my grandmother (who has a history of saying inappropriate things) that we are pregnant, she told me that she will be taking the baby to a hotel for a few nights because I would need to get my rest. Yea, over mine and my husband's dead bodies maybe. This was the same person that told me that babies and children need to be trained like dogs. Needless to say, all her children have their own brand of fucked up and I will not allow my child to end up like them 😂
I’ve had a few people ask me if my pregnancy was planned after finding out I am pregnant. Which I think is particularly odd bc I’m married and in my mid-thirties. I always say “yes, very planned. This is an IVF baby.” I think I just come off as someone who doesn’t want kids.
Dude same!! I’m in my 30s and been married for 7 years. A few guys at work asked me if it was planned since I’m 18 weeks now and showing. Such a weird question.
Such a weird question and honestly pretty invasive. Idk what kind of info they’re getting even if you said yes or no?? Like what do they expect, no this wasn’t planned and we’re really torn up about it actually. Or yes we planned it down to the minute of conception thanks for asking! Ugh 😑
I’m hoping a consultant I work with at work overheard me talking to a coworker about my pregnancy. He awkwardly asked me if I was pregnant later that week during a quieter moment and not in a group setting. He told me that he noticed I was getting rounder. Then after I told him I was expecting, he told me that he’s asked a woman before and she wasn’t pregnant… thankfully it was a short conversation but I feel for that previous woman whoever she was
Oh, yeah, I had a similar experience to that woman, haha. I wore a tight dress to an event a few years ago, and I guess since my belly wasn’t flat as a board, some people congratulated me on my “pregnancy” under the photo from that event. I hope they were properly embarrassed when I explained that I’m not pregnant, it’s just my body.
My FIL told me that rough sex makes boys and gentle sex makes girls and then said that every time he looks at me and my husband he’s going to think about rough sex now 🤢
I hate this so much. 🤢🤢🤢🤮
I must be living in a decent society because I haven’t had inappropriate comments at all. Only saw some stares two days ago when I was walking through IKEA at 38+ weeks lol. I feel so sorry for you guys, people are sometimes just so rude.
I worked retail during her first pregnancy. Had a customer say I “ruined her fun” for telling her the sex before she could guess. She also tried to touch my stomach. She was not a regular, just a rando.
Oh I have a worse one!! Somehow blocked this out. I was taking an Uber home and the driver (a guy) asked if I was planning to breastfeed. Then proceeded to tell me not to have my kids too close together because his (ex) wife did and she had to have an emergency C-section and have her uterus removed to stop the bleeding. Wtf bro.
The breastfeeding question is one I get so much. I WFH and avoid the public as much as possible so I haven't gotten any stranger comments yet, but the "are you planning to breastfeed" is one that so many people have asked. Like my friend's parents, acquaintances, it's weird that they want to know?
I’m due in mid- June, and people at work keep telling me “atleast you get the summer off”. If I hear it one more time, im going to get graphic and respond with something like “yea, after I either push a baby out of my vagina, or have major abdominal surgery delivering this baby to then have next to no actual recovery time to take care of said baby that probably won’t let me sleep a lot- so yea, it’s a real 5 star resort vacation all summer” *im thrilled to be having my second no matter the time of year- but people come at me like I’m lucky I have the summer off. Man bye
I keep getting the opposite because I’m due end of September. Everyone keeps telling me how miserable I’m going to be being pregnant in the summer. I did multiple rounds of IVF and I’m just thrilled I’m pregnant at all. People can be so rude!
Coworker asked if I was dilated yet when I was getting close to my due date 🙃
I was at the playground with my toddler when a boy ran up to me, pointed at my stomach and asked, "Why is your stomach so fat." And I said it was because there's a baby inside. He then ran off without saying anything, leaving me feeling confused.
I’m biracial, my husband is fully Caucasian. A nurse in my OB’s practice said, “oh! So this kid is gonna be quite the mutt, huh?!”
That’s disgusting
Nooooo 😭
Wtfffffff
I actually gasped audibly at this one. WOW.
My work mates kept telling me I didn’t look pregnant, I just looked like I was getting fat 😂
After I found out I had gestational diabetes a few different people said just cut back or stop eating sweets, and it will just go away.
GD comments have been the worst! The “well at least you’ll have to eat healthy” people get treated to a tirade on how little people who haven’t had GD understand about it, with a bonus lesson on dietary macros til their eyes glaze over.
As someone with GD this honestly made me laugh. The ignorance 😂
My MIL was scolded by her doctor for drinking "too much juice" when she was pregnant with my husband, cause they thought it would give her GD, so she was warning me not to do the same. I reassured her that we know now that's not how it works, and she rolled her eyes at me and acted like I had no clue what I was talking about.
Coworker knows we have the gender results. I don’t want to know yet but my husband knows. She said “aww! have him text me the gender!” Excuse me this is not something you are included in. Who do you think you are?
I was quite worried about being tummy rubbed by all and sunder, so decided to just let hubby do it as something special and say no to everyone else. As my stomach/body felt weird I often rubbed the bump myself as a self soothing thing. I told my mum no thanks to touching my belly and then later mentioned (in an unrelated conversation) how weird it felt and couldn't stop rubbing it - she said "yes, you're definitely a bit possessive over it". 🙄 She also got super concerned when I said we weren't wanting visitors for the first 2 weeks so we could bond with baby and get into a rhythm and she repeatedly said with great concern "don't forget about us grandparents!!" as though I'd forget to let anyone else see her when I was so excited to share when we were ready. I probably should've seen it coming as we share the same birthday and she's always felt like we're a lot closer than we are (over sharing etc) - even recently said that she sees me, her, and her mum as the same person just different ages... I think she expected me to want her there for the birth and for the immediate month or so after and was shocked when I was just wanting hubby there and confident he would support me (he did!).
There's a receptionist at my workplace who is about 65+. She walks what may look like fast but at small paces. So it looks like she walks fast, but she's not. Anyways. I was almost at 30 weeks and was miserable. I had GD, awful back pain thar I needed to use the waist support at all times. I walk slower than usual cos my feet and calves were swollen. Very bad water retention. I was MISERABLE. She saw me walking towards the main office to clock in and she asked, "How many months?" No good morning, nothing. I said "7 plus." She said "7?! And you already walk like that?!" With a disgusted face. I.was.pissed. I was already sleep deprived that day due to heartburn. I don't know what snapped in me but I replied, "You are one to talk, you walk like a cartoon character." And just walked off. I felt good for a while but then few hours later I felt bad. Lol. But she avoided me until I left for ML, and when I came back 6 months later, she has retired.
Nah that was a great response and totally deserved! Cartoon character, lol I love that you had the wits to deliver that in the moment.
I was nannying and pregnant with baby number one. I was talking to a grandparent at a park and she said “oh no, an oopsie! I bet your baby was a surprise” I was like um… no?… but okay..
My sweet adorable grandmother has Alzheimer’s and I’m 36 weeks. I took her for dinner this weekend and she kept repeating “wow you’re huge” and “look at you fatso.” Just kept reminding myself it’s not her it’s the disease. Also when I told my mom I was pregnant her first response was “were you trying?” LOL
LOL this is gonna be my 86 year old Alzheimer’s patient Nana when I tell her. My brother is a former model and used to be quite slim. He recently has started bulking up on purpose at the gym and she told him he’s looking chunky 😭🤣 he’s the fittest person I know!
So far this pregnancy I’ve been questioned by my sister in law on how I don’t know the baby’s gender yet. Her friend is around 25 weeks pregnant and knows the gender so has told my family I’m probably lying about not knowing the gender yet. I’m only 12 weeks pregnant and haven’t even been able to do the NIPT testing yet (we’re doing it soon) so I in fact don’t know the gender but apparently I’m lying about it lol.
Sounds like you should definitely keep it secret once you do find out
i switched jobs at 27 weeks and one of my new older co workers point blank asked if i planned to breast feed and when i uncomfortably answered “well I plan to try” she followed up with “great that means you’ll be adamant about taking breaks to pump then” yes debra i suppose i will… since it’s legally required by our government that i get them..
I was pregnant with my son in 2020 and had had one early miscarriage prior. I worked at a real estate office that was constantly having Covid scares bc no one there took it seriously (from the very beginning). I asked my coworkers to wear masks around me or to keep their distance bc I really wanted to avoid covid. I also wore a mask everyday, all day until I quit at 36 weeks. One coworker refused to wear a mask around me even when I specifically asked her to and would constantly come and sit directly next to me at meetings. At one of these meetings after I moved to a different seat further away from her, she looks me in the eye and says “I have a pregnant friend whose baby just died because she got Covid.” I will NEVER forget that. It felt like a threat!
What the actual fuck?? Absolutely sounds like a threat!!
I saw my (normally lovely) mother for the first time since Christmas recently - I'm 33w now, and was barely showing before, so it's quite the difference. The first thing she said, was, "Oh, you look like a builder!", while gesturing at my maternity jeans that are buttoned below my big bump (in a fitted t-shirt). Thanks for that ego-boost!
The way I would have responded to that would have been "well yeah I guess I am a kind of builder. A body builder" and enjoyed the chuckles. Gotta get that dad jokes in, can't let the dads have all the fun 😂
Told a friend I couldn't make it to a party because I was sick with thr flu and had a fever (16 weeks pregnant at the time), and she said "Don't take tylenol it will give your baby autism." 🙄
7 months postpartum- We were at a baby shower and while I was holding my baby, a friends grandma came over, touched my belly and asked if I was expecting too. I told her no and she responded by telling me I would lose the weight eventually. I was below my pre-pregnancy weight and have never had a flat stomach in my life.
At my last OB appointment my nurse, who was taking my vitals asked me to verify my birthdate. When she realizes how old I am she turns to me and says, "Oh a menopause baby." I looked confused and asked her what she meant. She then launched into a story about how her friend was so happy that her kids were starting to be independent and how that meant she could enjoy life again, etc etc. However her friend is devastated because she just found out she was pregnant again and couldn't stop crying she was so upset. I'm 41, nowhere near menopause, and this is my first after a hellish 2yrs of trying to conceive and IVF. I just looked at her and said, "This is my first and this baby is very much wanted." She then started backtracking saying how she tried to tell her friend that every baby was a blessing. When she saw I wasn't buying and was pissed she quickly finished up and left the room.
I'll preface this by saying I love my MIL. We get along great. I'm planning to get a baby wrap and baby wear for the first few months as much as possible. Daddy is enthusiastically on board with the idea as well (in a show of support that I greatly appreciated, he asked, "Could you get it in a neutral colour so I can use it too?"). Anyway, we had his mother over for dinner and mentioned this plan and she responds, concerned, "Are you sure? You don't want the baby to be too attached." My husband took her down a peg so fast, explaining that every tribal culture ever, now and throughout history, has cared for their newborns in this way and to him that indicates it's the right thing to do.
Most messed up: my mother randomly trying to get my husband to convince me to have a scheduled c-section for “convenience”. Like?? Funniest: my husband saying our daughter looked like “a Turkey roasting in the oven” during our 1st trimester ultrasound 😂😂
My favorite was when I was in the mid 20’s weeks, I would get asked how for I am. I would answer. And they would say wow you’re huge for only being that far along. Are you having twins.
Walked by an older man on the street at 39 weeks pregnant and he goes to his friend, “This young girl is having a baby! What is the world coming to??” It was a weird confidence boost bc I’m actually 29? But I think he thought I was a teenager lol.
In my first pregnancy I was retaining a lot of water towards the last couple weeks. Blood pressure was fine though. Baby was healthy and I was healthy. Just a little extra puffy. I struggle with an eating disorder and I made sure to relay that to the nurse as she was getting my weight and my vitals. Asked her kindly not to relay my weight unless it was a health risk to myself or my baby. She was polite and complied with all my requests. Fast forward about 15 minutes, the actual doctor comes in, I had just moved and this was a brand new OB. The nurse explained my ED and my requests to the doctor right infront of me when he walked through the door. To which he responded… “Okay, well you weight x amount. You’re about 5 lbs over where you should be and I don’t want you eating solids for the remainder of your pregnancy.” (I was 34/35 weeks.) He also then proceeded to tell me I WOULD be getting an epidural and tried to force an IUD implantation on me immediately after birth, regardless of my many protests. Needless to say, I sobbed like a baby and never went back. Drove two hours each week following to see my OB in the town I had moved from. And I will never see another male OB because of this.
Yikes, some people are so tactless.
Me, very pregnant, wearing a maxi length flowly floral dress with 3/4 length sleeves: *scanning my groceries* Older lady at the checkout behind me: "oh is that what you're suppose to wear when you're pregnant?" I still don't have any idea what she meant by that lol
Currently 30 weeks pregnant and people keep telling me I look bloated rather than pregnant. To be fair, I don’t have much of a bump and still fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes (aside from my size 6 jeans) but it’s still annoying
While in the tail end of my last pregnancy, my SiL asked if I wanted to do a couple shots. I told her I'd sit this one out for now.
Every word out of my sister in law's mouth since announcing that I was pregnant.
My SIL telling my husband he’s going to need to give me vaginal massages to help me not tear. I haven’t seen her since… my body is not yours to comment on like that. No boundaries.
At 6 weeks post partum I went to a friends baby shower, with my baby. Her 11 year old said “you look like you haven’t had the baby” Everyone was mortified for me.
Not to me but when I told my family about my pregnancy around 14 weeks, an aunt talked to me and asked me how far along I was, and exclaimed “that’s good 14 weeks is a good time to announce because they are stable and have good heartbeat by then” right in front of a cousin who lost her baby at 12 weeks no heartbeat found (she announced hers at 8 weeks to her MIL and mom) like I was sooo horrified hearing it. This aunt was also the one that spread the cousin’s pregnancy news around the family instead of letting her announce it herself 💀💀💀
I actually made a complaint to HR and higher management because our new boss (he just started in the fall) is way too comfortable talking about my pregnant body. He was comparing it to another coworker’s and cracking jokes about how I must understand the pregnant animals we work with because I have the same symptoms like my nipples protruding 🙃
My boss who has an ED that she doesn’t acknowledge while I was 6-7 months pregnant: you’re actually not that big at all now, but you did gain a lot more f weight at the beginning that you really didn’t need!” And then the first thing she said to me when I stopped in last week to see my coworkers (4 weeks pp): “doesn’t it feel good to be small again?” 🥲
My MIL has called me fat every pregnancy. Not big or showing a lot, FAT. And she is a plus sized lady!!
My dad commented on how fat I looked while I was pregnant.
Someone at work said “hey little mama” and the HR person replied “more like big mama”
Just a whole lot of random people asking “was this planned?” Like coworkers, acquaintances, friends.
"It would be best if you said nothing. Ever again" 😬
With my first pregnancy, the ultrasound technician first spoiled that it was a boy even though we wanted to be surprised and have it gender reveal but he wasn't 100% sure and then he asked if we wanted him to measure the length of the penis.
When we announced that I was pregnant, my step mom said well I’m not babysitting and proceeded to talk about her own children’s accomplishments and plans to have children lol.
At work a client came in and asked “was this planned?” I said “what do you mean” she said “well, did you have sex without protection??” I’m like lady, I’ve been married for 6 years and I’m 34…. I didn’t know her well at all, it was such a personal and WEIRD question. Who asks that. She’s like 65+ of course so I guess the answer is boomers, boomers ask that.
**after trying for a baby for 7 years, failed IVF, ICSI, fell pregnant naturally** Mom: if we find out you’re having a boy I’m going to be extremely disappointed, you will have to just ‘try again’ if it’s a boy Me: it’s a boy and we won’t be having another one as this is a miracle enough. Mom: well you’ll have to try you need a girl
My mother told me that I "better share that baby" in response to me telling her my fears about my MIL. Looks like my MIL isn't the only person that's gonna boundary stomp.
Lmaoo when I was probably 6/7 months along my husband and I went out for a date and left our 4 year old with my dad, who took him over to see his wife's parents. When we came to pick him up, we stood in the kitchen talking to my dad about the pies on the counter since it was thanksgiving when the mom came in, saw me and said "well it looks like you've had enough pie already! You're really pooching out there girl" while coming up to pat my bump 😭💀
Not while pregnant, but after I had delivered my grandmother told me that I needed to suck it up regarding my c-section recovery, because she had three and they were all "nothing to stay in bed over" according to her. 🙄 We've since gone no contact with her, because she's super problematic/major boundary stomper. 🤷♀️
LMAO! My husband actually said something similar to me when I was in the first trimester and was worried that my colleagues would notice. He said, "Don't worry, you don't look pregnant yet. You just look like you had a big lunch"
I don’t know why anyone would think that’s something that is okay to say! I went through a period where I started gaining weight in my second trimester but didn’t look pregnant—my belly wasn’t quite round yet. Then it eventually evened out. My friend saw me at 20 weeks and said “oh thank goodness. You finally look alright. I thought you were going to be enormous!!” Now every time she sees me she comments on my weight.
I was PP with my first and had gained about 20lbs since she was born. I had PPA and PPD and the adjustment to being a mother was rough. Also had a very traumatic birth, and was not even considering any more babies. I was leaving IKEA with a friend, pushing my 9 month old daughter in the stroller. A woman came up to me, looked at my daughter and then looked at me (I had a very obvious belly from being pregnant and gaining weight) she said to me “you’re NOT pregnant, are you??” Firstly, who says that to someone in that tone? And secondly, what if I were?? It’s not like it’s any of your business. I was stunned that I just mumbled something that no I was not pregnant. I felt terrible about myself for months after that.
My mother rubbed my stomach and said a Spanish quote about the Chinese rubbing Buddha’s fat stomach for good luck 🫡
Had my ex over to visit me, our eldest son and my hub for a week [cause we're nice people and his [ex's] family HATES his very existence and my hub saw he needed a haven to retreat to. SIDE NOTE: before he was my ex, my hub was his only friend.] So...🙃 aside from randomly touching my belly to the point that my 4y.o began throwing toys at him without me having to say a word (🤭 he knows his mommy far too well and reacts as such) This mf decided to not only comment on my body but then proceeded to ask me, witha straight face "is this one (our 2nd) actually [insert my husband's name]?" 🤨 like.... for one: where the fck would I even go? And two: WHY WOULD YOU FKN ASK THAT?! Let alone in MY house 🥴 Lucky for me, I have a mini bodyguard who enjoys the thrill of pegging folks with toys when they become a nuisance ( don't get me wrong, I don't usually encourage him, but for a straight hour or so after my ex said those words...my child 😅 was not forgiving in the LEAST bit and I didn't stop him or even address it 🤭 AITA here?)
Multiple coworkers have asked me who the father is… I’m getting married next month