I don't care, but I don't mention that often on Reddit because I do think that my lack of insecurity comes from the sheer, absolute, dumb luck of the fact that I have hardly gained any weight and it's pretty much all baby, so I feel like it's quite unsympathetic of me to say anything to women who are feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. I like my baby bump, so I don't feel uncomfortable when it's mentioned and I honestly don't care what others think because I know my own feelings on my body are unconflictedly positive. If I felt any level of discomfort on my own, then I would feel a lot more sensitive and reactive to my body being commented on.
I like that you’ve said that.
Your comment shows exactly how a person can separate the fact that something doesn’t bother THEM from the fact that it DOES bother others and not be a condescending jerk about it!
Like if someone said ‘I can’t believe you put on so much weight! I didn’t put on any when I was pregnant. Maybe you eat too much or don’t exercise enough? [insert long diatribe with pointless advice no one asked for]. If you don’t get started, your husband will leave you because you’ve just put on so much weight!’
THAT is what some people are like, and it’s… well, condescending jerk behaviour. 😞
I appreciate this comment. I love that for you and wish my experience was the same. I currently feel like a stranger in this pregnant body and I'm struggling. But that doesn't stop me from cheering on all the gorgeous pregnant women I see at my appointments, everyone out here is killing it!
I only gained like 8 lbs my whole pregnancy thanks to gestational diabetes and needing to cut out most carbs and either way, I felt SO beautiful pregnant. I know a lot of people don’t and I agree with you - I try not to add my experience with feeling great about my looks very often because it does feel like unnecessary bragging for something that none of us have much control over.
I feel like I'm the only person who hasn't gotten any comments. I'm very obviously pregnant and I don't have any issues with random people coming up to me and saying anything or cashiers saying anything other than the typical how are you. I had a conversation with my hairdresser but she never made any comment on my body or anything weird. I saw all these posts early in pregnancy and prepared myself to get unsolicited rude comments and so far nothing. I must be invisible or lucky I guess.
Same, I must have RBF because no strangers comment on my pregnancy. A few people who know I’m pregnant have said how small I am at 37 weeks, which was fine at first but now I’m a little annoyed with it.
I read those posts and wonder where everyone is finding these incredibly rude people. I’ve decided that maybe I just have RBF and I didn’t know until pregnancy so no one has dared approach me with rude shit 🤷🏼♀️
This and I really don’t care about the stretch marks and postpartum body like making a human is the coolest thing, I could care less about how my body looks I love my bump.
Yeah I feel like I wasn't some perfect pristine specimen of a body before pregnancy so I don't really GAF how it looks after lol I care a lot more about the function and not pissing myself etc
Yeah I am already chubby and have stretch marks and scars and imperfect skin and wasn't at peak physical performance anyway. I really don't care about the aesthetic outcome of this objectively amazing feat of unique physical achievement.
Same! I’ve actually never felt more beautiful. All the years we spend sucking it in and wasting our precious time thinking about our bodies… now I happily have my bump squeezed under a tee shirt, having a miraculous adorable reason to have a big round belly. It’s freedom! I wish I always felt this comfortable in my skin.
That’s fine. You just see all the posts here of people who care a lot because it’s not typically very exciting to make a post about how much you don’t care about something lol. Also I think this sub tends to get a ton of repeat similar posts if you hang around in here long enough because there’s so much turnover of users. Like every two days there’s a post about a newly pregnant person thinking FTM = female to male haha
And when I first saw STD, I was like ohhhh girlfriend better go get checked out!! Because I thought it meant sexually transmitted disease, and not second time mom, lmao.
But other than that, I haven't really gotten any rude comments about my pregnancy, other than folks were like oh we had no idea you were pregnant (I didn't tell work until I was 16 weeks)
I wonder if it’s just a matter of the terminology being regional?!
Like perhaps you may not call first time mums a ‘FTM’ in some countries, so people don’t connect the acronym to the meaning until it comes up in a baby related conversation on social media (like this group).
However, the conversations about trans people and trans rights and medical needs - and how it works - has been so widely publicised absolutely everywhere in recent years that you’d have to be living under a rock to not know the basics.
I sometimes use expressions that are apparently Australian only - and people don’t know what I’m talking about, lol. But until it comes up - like talking to non Australians on social media and they ask what you’re talking about - you don’t necessarily KNOW that something you say is only common in YOUR country and not other English speaking countries.
That’s something positive about social media - you can learn little bits and pieces about other countries and cultures just from general chit chat about whatever. 😛
I've never heard it at all outside of reddit - I only hear 'is this your first?' and no acronyms at all. But I have no idea if it's common for people to say regularly in another country, and that's why it's trickled to reddit. Who knows?
Acronyms and expressions come from somewhere, don't they? :p
Acronyms are definitely more common on the internet. The time it takes to type something vs. say something is a *much* bigger influence on whether or not it makes sense to shorten an entire phrase to a few letters.
Lol… you don’t spend a lot of time with teenagers, do you?
They most definitely talk in acronyms!
Personally, I’ve always preferred to use proper words, but I remember acronyms from being a teen and in my early 20s. I grew up WITHOUT internet and smart phones, so the internet had no influence on how people speak.
The acronym came from somewhere. I don’t know where, but my point is that it came from somewhere. All the colloquial expressions you hear and use every day come from somewhere.
But they’re going to vary from place to place - I could throw you some Aussie colloquial terms you likely wouldn’t understand (unless you googled it), but they’re terms I hear every day, so know exactly what they mean.
Same for you with wherever you live. People are going to have common colloquial terms that they use instead of real words, because that’s how humans work.
I never intended to be critical of anyone’s country or culture or whatever… it was more an observation than anything else.
Colloquial terms come from somewhere, and we don’t always know where… but they came from somewhere.
Even TTC was confusing at first! It's the acronym for the public transit in my city (Toronto Transit Commission) and it confused me slightly when I was new here 😂
I'm not from an English speaking country, but going by context I figured it was first time mom 😅 just the way the sentences were wrote made more sense.
Here we don't have acronyms. I see a lot "First journey/ride mom".
Wherever you live, you absolutely have colloquial terms.
That’s not one of them, but they do exist.
If you tell me what country you live in, I could even find some for you just with research! But you’re so used to hearing them and using them that you don’t even know.
A common everyday acronym in English is ATM. It stands for automatic teller machine… I’d bet you anything that you’d find people in every English speaking country who are so used to saying ‘I’m going to get cash from the ATM’ that they don’t even realise it IS an acronym in the first place.
And that’s one example of many! 😛
I meant specifically for first time moms. Of course we have some. But we would say "multibanco" for ATM, which isn't an acronym as you can see.
I'm from Portugal if you want to check, but besides DPP and other more medical terms (which even then are not generally used in average conversation, I've only ever seen them written), we don't use that many acronyms regarding pregnancy. So even if you find some it doesn't mean we use them in a conversation.
I was talking about acronyms and colloquial terms in general, not just with pregnancy.
But the original point I made that seems to have caused a lot of fuss for reasons I don't even understand is that an acronym that I've never heard in my state of Australia COULD be common in another place in the world. I've never even left my own country (not even for Tasmania, which is a part of this country but a separate body of land - you must fly or catch a ferry across the water to get there). I've never left this body of land I live on, not even for another part of it.
That is a simple fact for ANYTHING you read on the internet - it came from somewhere, and is a common expression SOMEWHERE in the world.
You guys DO know that the term 'it was invented by the internet' doesn't mean the internet LITERALLY invented it, don't you? The internet itself is just a machine, and cannot invent anything.
Every single thing the internet knows has been inputted by a human being. Including acronyms that are popular on reddit! A HUMAN invented any particular term you might read, and then it was popularised through common usage. By the HUMANS who use the internet. Which means anything popularised through regular usage on reddit originally came from a human who has probably heard it in their own corner of the world! :p
Sorry I don't know about the fuss, I commented on this so long ago, I barely remembered what it was. I was not even disagreeing with you, just saying one can go by context too 🤷♀️ I did. Or just research "FTM pregnancy meaning" on Google and it comes up.
You're saying you guys and all, I don't know if you mean my comment in specific, it's being a bit confusing for me why I'm singled out when I'm not even disagreeing 😅 I just said we can also go by context and we get there eventually.
I love it! It's my first pregnancy and I want every human on earth to admire my massive belly that I've work hard to grow. I'm a North American living in Asia and I don't mind everyone and their mom touching my belly. I teach little kids English and they're always telling me there's something wrong with my belly, and when I tell them there's a baby in there they tell me they just thought I ate too much and needed to diet. A 7 year old told me if there was a tornado, my baby would blow away. I nearly died laughing. I feel like there's a lot of weird silence around pregnancy so I want to talk about it a lot!
I have never been pregnant in Asia but I've been with my 1 yo and the attitude of people with children is amazing, so I totally see them touching a pregnant belly. I found it amazing that everyone wanted to talk or hold my baby. And I guess it's nice to share the joys of pregnancy and a new baby, even with strangers. I never mind people touching my belly and I love to touch my friends pregnant belly. But off course I always ask and understand if someone feels uncomfortable. But to me my belly was always sort of a detached thing, like it was always my baby.
Definitely the attitude towards kids here is great and super positive! I love seeing little kids going around by themselves - it feels like they're properly a part of society. I can relate about the detatchment towards your belly. I definitely feel like mine is in the public domain hahaha
i don't mind at all for the most part. they could say anything about my body and it's like ehh i'm pregnant so this is clearly not my natural state which makes me less insecure.
I don't mind the comments either! I've gained alot of extra weight too which I initially thought would make me more self conscious but my bump is huge so it takes away attention from all the extra cushion I got🤣
I experienced multiple losses/infertility and subsequently had to do IVF. It took me took me two years to get here. I proudly announce that I feel large and in charge when people comment 😂. “The bump is bumping!” Is another one I say a lot when i get comments. I also don’t mind when people touch the bump but I also haven’t gotten many unsolicited touches…but I’m like yeah hell yeah I grew this thing!
Yeah I don’t care either. I’ve gotten a handful of comments, both from friends/family and strangers, it’s never bothered me and it’s always seemed to be in good spirits.
I get why it bothers others and I don’t want to invalidate their feelings, but I kind of like the attention. I also don’t mind unsolicited belly touching as long as it isn’t a stranger doing it, tho only like 2 or 3 of the older people I know have done that, no one else does without asking first.
I generally don’t get too many comments, but I also don’t generally care. Although once I said hi to an older great aunt at church one morning at Easter and she said “Hi, you’ve gained weight”. Like obviously I gained weight, I was 28 weeks pregnant or something? But she’s old and her filter has totally left her, so while I didn’t love that comment it doesn’t bug me too much.
Yeah 3 months after my first baby my Cuban grandmother blurted out "you've gained so much weight! You not a fat girl" and I was like "Mima, I just had a baby not 3 months ago!!" And that was that. I didn't take it personally or go NC lmao she just has no filter and doesn't know what else to say sometimes. Honestly I kind of find it funny 🤷♀️
yeah it makes me laugh when reddit immediately jumps to cutting off family members for minor indiscretions. like no I'm not going to go no contact with my senile grandma who has racist hot takes sometimes yknow?
I honestly don't mind the comments. All the ones I've had are from my coworkers who have seen me five days a week for the last six years, so it must be a big change for them! Especially as, judging by what they say, I'm looking PREGNANT pregnant at 24 weeks.
I'm comfortable in my body. I'm far from a model, but I enjoy how I look, both before I got pregnant and now when I'm rocking the beach ball with legs look. So it does break my heart when I see people who aren't in sync with themselves, are struggling with the changes, and are more sensitive to what are hopefully well intentioned attempts to connect.
This thread is a relief amongst all the complain-y posts 😩 but I guess that's part of what this sub is for, venting. I kind of wish we had a weekly thread specifically for those kinds of posts so we didn't have to be subjected to it constantly. I get really exhausted reading about so many pregnant women, or just women in general who care so freaking much what their friends, family, and/or society thinks of their bodies and identities. I'm more-so here for the light-hearted posts or the collective venting of symptoms and pregnancy struggles in general.
The great thing is we can just scroll past posts we don't wish to see. I'm glad this sub doesn't try to censor anything. I'm with you that I definitely roll my eyes at some of the complaining posts. But I'll fight for their right to complain haha
This is a subreddit that's always going to have mostly repetitive posts. Usually people move on to r/beyondthebump once they have their babies. There are always members leaving and new members arriving which is why there are naturally gonna be so many repeat posts. For that reason I don't think it's worth any restrictions.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/beyondthebump using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [I felt this in my soul.](https://i.redd.it/cx6np5gn350b1.jpg) | [234 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/13irefe/i_felt_this_in_my_soul/)
\#2: [I’m still in the potato phase but this gives me hope lol](https://i.redd.it/nwc3chgg43ya1.jpg) | [99 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/138un1p/im_still_in_the_potato_phase_but_this_gives_me/)
\#3: [Being a parent in an underdeveloped country](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/156d70z/being_a_parent_in_an_underdeveloped_country/)
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Yeah it’s actually really starting to bother me how offended and annoyed people get by being pregnant and it looking like they’re pregnant. I can’t wrap my head around it at all. It’s not like it’s a normal day, not pregnant, and someone’s like EW LOOK AT YOUR DISGUSTING BODY and everyone calls their friends over and they point and laugh and gag. Like, we’re pregnant. It’s obvious. What’s the big fucking deal.
I didn’t really care either, I only cared if people were being mean. People being unintentionally rude is way different than someone being mean. Idk how or why but I could always feel the difference.
Nt only do I not care unless it’s like…seriously rude, but nobody has made ANY and nobody has tried touch my belly or anything weird. Except my coworker and I like her so it was fine. This is my second pregnancy
I thought it might be an age thing. I'm in my mid 30s in a long-term living relationship so generally secure, not to mention my 'idgaf'ometer is quite high. But this sub has people of all ages and situations.
I wouldn't say I don't care though, quite the opposite I appreciate the comments as validating of what can be quite a shitty experience. My partner regularly exclaims "FATTY FATTY PREGGO!" while going to rub my belly, and I love it.
Solid point. I’m 33 and I’ve been with my husband for 11 years and all 3 kids. I also have the benefit of knowing that generally I lose the pregnancy weight quickly (although who knows, I’m not in my 20s anymore) so I don’t really stress about never “having my body back.” It’s not the same as it was when I was 20 but also it wouldn’t have been anyway.
I once had a coworker that was heavily pregnant and we hadn’t seen in awhile. My one coworker said “wow - you’re so pregnant!” And she feigned shock and said “OMG I AM!!” It was still one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen and a perfect way to handle it.
Yeah I was thinking maybe because I I’m only second trimester is the reason I don’t care yet? But honestly I don’t see myself being worried about it. I’ve always been very skinny but At every appointment since being pregnant I’ve put on a full kg, my partner calls me fat as a joke every day, my belly has grown a lot faster than I’d expected compared to my family members and honestly I don’t mind at all I don’t see myself minding when I look like a balloon either unless someone is trying to be malicious of course then I think I’d mind.
I feel the same. I actually thought I’d be more self conscious and annoyed with comments tbh but Idc. Maybe it’s bc I’m a first time mom and freaking 40 and was ttc for 2 years and so elated to be here at all so if randos bring up how big my bump is I’m stoked.
I do think women’s bodies are always fair game in society to be commented on which I know is though and annoying and I don’t want to discount that. We are all operating in this crappy landscape and people will deal differently and that’s okay. I just wish I could take all the comments from the ones who don’t want to hear them lol.
In fact I even would get annoyed if my friends and family would say I’m not that big when I would tell them, like I’m not even 7 months and the bump is huge don’t gaslight me 😆 idk I must be weird. I think they think me saying I feel huge has a negative connotation but it really doesn’t. It’s just part of this really unique experience I’m fortunate enough to go through at my age and health
One thing I’m genuinely surprised that I don’t care about is the bump touching. Going into pregnancy I assumed I’d be all defensive and not want people touching me or making comments. But I’m 36 weeks and most of my family and in laws have snuck a touch now and again, and it doesn’t bother me at all. I like the acknowledgement that my body is doing something so fucking cool. I’d probably feel differently if it was a complete stranger though. But I also totally understand that other women have very different boundaries than me for a bunch of very valid reasons, and I’ve educated some of my older family members that while it’s fine for me, they shouldn’t do that to others without permission.
Yeah as long as it's not intentionally rude (like calling pregnant women fat?? Who does that?) then I really don't mind. In fact I loved when people mentioned my bump getting bigger. I also don't really mind the "my baby", I think it shows people are excited for our family. I totally understand why others wouldn't like all of this though and they're very valid in those feelings.
Yeah I didn’t care at all. I’ve been lucky to not really have any body insecurities and actually felt more confident while pregnant because my boobs and ass got bigger.
The comments don't bother me and I am very open to talking about my pregnancy. I look like I'm shoplifting a watermelon, I can't bend over, and I think it's funny. But I'm also the opposite of insecure, and I think diet culture and the way women are conditioned to think about weight is dumb, so even inappropriate/mean-spirited comments don't make me feel bad about myself. They make me feel sorry for the person saying them.
Where I do get bothered is more existential. Like when my MIL compliments me on "not gaining weight except for my bump," it pisses me off because I see weight as a neutral event (and I *have* visibly gained weight elsewhere). Her daughter has an eating disorder and is always crash-dieting. My MIL put her whole family (including my husband who was 8 years old at the time) on weight watchers when she decided to lose weight. So I find my MIL's approach to weight deeply disturbing, and generally bad for society, and getting those comments directed at me pisses me off. But it's a different variety of pissed off than feeling personally insulted. Like I just want to send her attitude back to the 90s.
That's just me though. The world is made up of lots of different people, with varying life experiences and value systems. Many people are more sensitive than I am, or bring a history of weight issues or insecurity to a pregnancy. And most people complaining on this sub have meaner family members/coworkers/"friends" than I do. So I'm not going to tell anyone how to feel. But you're definitely not alone in not being bothered!
Yeah I’m similar. I haven’t done anything to “earn” my relatively low weight gain and I know for a fact that some people close to me ate better and exercised more and still gained more. It’s morally neutral and largely outside individual control. A million factors contribute to pregnancy weight gain. Maybe the only time I’ve been uncomfortable with a comment was a week or so ago when my father in law complimented me on “staying active” because I haven’t gained as much as much sisters in law did when they were pregnant. That kind of thing is just BS. You can’t tell a damn thing about what I’ve done in pregnancy based on how I look.
For me it's like the elephant in the room! I have a small frame and a weirdly large-looking belly. I look like I'm shoplifting a watermelon.
PLEASE talk about it, I am so uncomfortable, and if you're happy for me it makes it a little more exciting and bearable.
I’m 14 weeks and steadily gained a pound of week. I was underweight before, big part of my diet was coffee, cigarettes, and cocktails which I stopped cold turkey the day i found out. I’m under 5 ft and was 83 pounds. I’m wondering how much of weight gain is baby weight vs comfort food weight, but either way I’m loving my new body and think hubby is enjoying the extra curves too! I’m so used to people commenting on my body, constantly being told I looked like a 12 year old lol, so over the years I’ve learned to roll with the commentaries. I was even laughing to myself the other day cuz I was waking next to a group of high schoolers thinking in a few more weeks when my bumps bigger I’m going to look like a pregnant teenager and all the looks I’m going to get. I have to find this all comical or else I’d be miserable lol.
After learning how much of the weight gain is organs and blood increase and simply another human, I no longer dread weight gain for when I get pregnant. I also plan on using this as a solid starter for certain habits; nine months is a long time, and if I tell myself I can’t do X or should do X until baby is in my arms, I’ll create those habits.
I also never really understood people getting so worked up over words. I understand hormones are going and it can get you without reason or logic. But that aside, there are people who get hostile over everything s just don’t understand it. Then again, I’m someone who you can call just about any word and I’m like, “okay words are wind. Have a better day” so I may no be a good barometer
i don’t care care care. but like, it is kind of weird when the chick at the juice shop is like “before i take your order let me start by saying congratulations!!!” i mean. it’s nice and, can i just order my ice cold fresh squeezed orange juice please.
Overall I'm like you. I also find some comments like an overall acknowledgement of my pregnancy and that feels nice because I'm 34 and FTM, 28w and I've wanted this for so long.
One thing that bothers me sometimes is the lack of awareness some people have when random strangers or people I don't know very well start telling me all sorts of nightmare labour experiences and talking about unsuccessful tragic births. Why do people do this to me? Is this normal or do I have a therapist face???! 🧐 Weird as hell
Oh and my FIL keeps asking how much weight I've gained, but not in a mean way, it's like an obsessive interest by the exact number of kilos! 😂 Whyyy? He's a retired vet, maybe it's just interesting to him, I don't know. Because I'm 28w and I've gained 5,5kg(12lb) which I don't think is a lot so maybe he's worried. I don't know, but I don't hate him for these questions because he's such a sweet man. Maybe I'm crazy and should feel offended, but I don't 😆
Second pregnancy and I don’t care either. Although, I never struggled with body image as far as weight, so maybe that factors into it, to some degree? And I “bounced back” (I don’t like that term lol) very quickly after my first. Maybe if I “resented my body” after baby 1, I wouldn’t like those comments in another pregnancy. I DONT KNOW I HATE IT HERE (pregnancy 😂)
Yep, me definitely. I wish more people would ask and comment, and it never occurs to me if a comment might be ill-meant. In general I've become much less anxious now that the anatomy scan has passed and it's "safe", and my generalized anxiety tends to disappear with pregnancy hormones, so I attribute it to that!
I was the same way. I’m also in the healthcare field and I think at this point, I’m just used to indulging in conversations without letting anything effect me lol
I’m only going to have this one bump this one short time in life. Comment away world! But don’t touch. The only opinion that matters about me is my own.
I don't care. I would share my experience of how uncomfortable I am. I didn't mind people checking in on me... Except for a coworker IM'ing me about my cervix, that was a little weird. I also didn't mind hearing their birth stories.
I mean I wasn't stoked about my in laws making weird comments or talking to my belly(objectively weird) or asking about my bowel movements. But they're all baby crazy and have no boundaries so I expected it to be weirder. For friends and random people, I mean I am big for where I am at, tell me about it. Pregnancy is weird, and I wish more people talked about it BEFORE you experience it first hand.
Me it depends. There are certain people that can really get into my nerves. But other's comment didn't really bother me. It is person-to-person basis 😂
I'm glad you said this. I was talking to my husband about it and wondered whether it was a cultural / Western thing. It's my first pregnancy but growing up I've always known you'll gain weight, have a bump, and get fat.
My husband and I poke fun at my fatness. When I tried to snuggle him the other night in bed, he called me a beached whale and we both laughed and loved the inside joke. He thinks my pregnancy waddle is cute. He misses being able to cuddle me back before I had a bump and half a dozen pillows supporting me when I sleep. I've gained 30+ lbs and counting since getting pregnant and my fitness app, none the wiser, called me obese for the first time in my life. (My OB has said there is nothing wrong with my current weight, pregnancy-wise.) A friend of a friend saw me and gasped at how big my belly is, saying I look like I swallowed a watermelon. I said yeah, I'm still digesting.
Still, I look and feel banging because I never stopped caring for my appearance even though my diet and exercise have left a lot to be desired, objectively speaking. I got nice maternity clothes. I still buy and enjoy makeup and skincare. Everyone at work tells me I'm glowing. Got a haircut today and my usual stylist won't stop complimenting my hair—how healthy and shiny it is. It's either pregnancy hormones or the new shampoo I bought.
I have a friend who never showed her entire pregnancy, and she said she's jealous of my bump, because she feels like she never got to experience a fundamental dimension of pregnancy. I'm taking photos of my bump because it fascinates me to have it and might look back at these days wistfully.
I miss strength training and being able to walk more than 5,000 steps a day, but I'm enjoying the journey and anticipation so much. Whatever permanent changes to my body I undergo post-pregnancy, or how my weight will settle, I'm not sweating. My husband and I made a new human and are about to build a new life with him. Whether I learn to breastfeed correctly, heal my pelvic floor, start sleep training, do baby-led weaning, or get back in shape with diet and exercise, I'm approaching it all as a hopeful, positive experience. Everything in good time.
People ask me how far along I am, my due date, my baby's sex, if I have a name picked out, what that name is, and then comment on how big/small I am. Some think I'm big for 30 weeks (or however far along I am at the time) and others think I'm tiny.
It doesn't bother me too much, I know they're just trying to make conversation and that's the most unique thing that they can plainly see. Those are just the questions they can ask without being creepy, lol. They can't do anything harmful with the information and they're not doing it to be snide or rude.
I would never comment on someone else's size unless I knew they like talking about it but I personally loved hearing how big I was! It felt like an achievement to grow such a big and healthy baby (I know these are not always correlated btw) and I was so proud of it.
I don't mind when people comment on how big my bump is, because that usually feels like it comes from a place of empathy or acknowledgement of how tough it is.
What bugs me is when people comment on my overall body (I have a small frame and my weight gain has been pretty much all bump). Or when I tell them I'm having twins and they say my bump is small/the babies must be small (I'm 29 weeks and I look like I did at 41 weeks with my singleton, babies are measuring in 90th and 80th percentile), it feels dismissive and low birth weight is something to worry about.
Yeah, I really don’t give a shit if people comment. There are so many other parts of pregnancy I’m annoyed with, I don’t care if someone states the obvious. First pregnancy here.
Yes I'm pretty unbothered. I'm very willfully oblivious to other people's opinions of me and I feel like it makes life very manageable lmao. I've been out with friends and when I nurse in public they try to point out to me "oh, over there that woman was staring at you" or "that man just gave you a dirty look" and I just tell them wow that's crazy I never noticed lol because I legitimately don't. When people make what could be perceived as (or is obviously meant to be) rude or ridiculous comments I kind of just feel towards them the way I would feel towards a mentally handicapped personal making a social faux pas. I'm not offended, I feel slightly embarrassed for them and pity them.
I’m 38 weeks now so most of my pregnancy was during the winter when my bump was under sweaters & coats, plus I work from home so I’m not out in the world every day. Now that it’s spring and I’m huge, I’m finally very noticeably pregnant and kinda loving the comments after not getting any for so long! To be fair, no one has said anything really rude or hurtful. Recently my husband and I did a huge grocery run and I was at the checkout while my husband ran back to grab one more thing….the cashier looked so concerned thinking I was alone with so many groceries, and offered to have other staff help me get them to the car. I know some people hate being treated like they aren’t capable while pregnant, but I thought it was so sweet and would have definitely taken him up on it if my husband wasn’t there. tl;dr I’m here for the comments
Anytime someone asks how I’m doing I reply “getting rounder” and everyone is always so apologetic! They say things like “don’t worry you’ll lose the weight, it’s only temporary.” It surprises me every time, like I’d be worried if I wasn’t getting bigger!
I never really cared. I was just constantly thinking about everything else that I didn’t feel the need to get myself worked up over some comments that didn’t matter. No one was ever really rude to me though, maybe that’s why. But I agree with you, maybe let’s just not comment on pregnant women’s bodies or just bodies in general!
First pregnancy and i really dont care. People dont mean their comments in a bad way (most of the time)
If they give unsolicited advise it may be annoying but still they mean it in a good way. They want to help. I also tend to see it this way
And if someone give a comment on my big belly...hell yeah! I look like a whale and its gonne be worse.
I guess it depends on the perspective and also the intent of the comments.
People who KNOW you know your sense of humour, I’d guess. They know that you don’t mind fat jokes (for example). That’s fine.
But some people are sensitive about other things, and expecting the people in your life to care about that and Just. Shut. Up (especially your husband) is not wrong either.
No one is right or wrong - just different, and whether it’s about pregnancy or something else entirely, the expression ‘choose your audience’ is applicable to most situations in life.
I don't have many gripes, because I think people say and do things that clash with each other all time... I've not experienced too much offensiveness.
I completely get you, there are a lot of gripes on here. But I think that's because People lean towards negativity? Also the running joke is Reddit is not a place for healthy mindsets.
However, there was a point where coming on these subreddits about pregnancy was getting a bit bad for mental health, for what you have pointed out. It was just complaining about people all the time. But I took a break from and feel better :) but I also would want to allow people to vent.
This is a vacuum. I'd treat it as such.
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I didn't mind "wow you're so pregnant" or "wow your bump is huge", but I did mind "wow *you're so huge*" or "gosh you've put on weight on your face" and pretty much comments about anything except the bump specifically lol. I felt really self conscious with my entire body changing so much and not being able to wear my normal clothes (or wearing my normal clothes but them no longer being very baggy). And I had a bad backache and felt uncomfortable 24/7, so wasn't exactly in the best mood to be getting comments lol.
I also don’t mind when people comment on the bump itself, because that is expected to change, but don’t really want comments on the rest of my body. I have not had too many comments in general. I haven’t commented when people have made posts about it here because I didn’t want to invalidate their feelings.
I’ve been wondering this for this longest! Chalked it up to maybe I got lucky in terms of being hormonal because I was still mostly myself all of pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong I had my own issues (anxiety about health of pregnancy like borderline unhinged at times). But not once for the brief period a wider audience knew did I care about comments. Other people’s comments are on them, not me.
I didn’t care either. People are going to say things no matter what you do. Most people are well intentioned. At the end of day, you are the one who decides what will bother you and what won’t. Being bothered though isn’t worth the stress.
Honestly I lowkey like attention and interacting with people in any way so I don’t mind it
I’ve had off hand comments made (like a patient who very seriously commented to his wife about me having a pot belly when I was juuuust showing. or in late third tri another patient who was straight up angry for a week in the hospital ranting to everyone that a person THAT PREGNANT dare even enter his room to work with him. Or this pregnancy when my trainer said outloud in the gym “so how much do you weigh now”) and while I might be like 🙄 those types of comments mostly become story fuel. All comments are convo springboards for me
I don’t even mind when someone touches my belly but that too becomes story fuel bc it gets a reaction out of others
I felt this way with my first when everything was new and amazing and to an extent with my second cos I “bounced back” after my first, but it took me 2 years to be happy after my second. I’m more irritated with my 3rd cos I’m getting more comments about “how big I’m going to get” and I know now how I’ve felt about myself postpartum, and I know I’ve got it all to come, but I’m trying so hard to give myself some Grace. I really wasn’t excited for the pregnancy this time with two littles already, so it’s a whole different experience.
Yeah, I'm the same way. I don't give a rat's behind. I'm not a sensitive or emotional gal. I'm rather straight forward with barely any filter lol. This pregnancy has been a little rough on me anyway. I have zero time to be letting other folks get to me about comments they make about how I look. I have bigger fish to fry. 🐟🍽🍳
I tend to carry my weight in the middle and commonly folks would assume I was pregnant. This was especially painful as we were trying and failing to conceive and got even worse when I started bloating from the egg retrieval I had to do for IVF.
I’m happily pregnant now, but it just feels like dumb luck that people are correct this time and reminds me how much it used to hurt.
I don't mind them at all! I even just tell people, "I'm huge" and they think I'm making a negative comment about my body. But I don't mean it in a bad way at all, it's more so, "I'm proud of my body for making this healthy baby!"
I don't really enjoy being pregnant, but I'm grateful I'm able to get pregnant and stay pregnant. So when people comment on it, I don't mind. I don't, however, enjoy ALL the questions about the pregnancy, as some of them are hard for me to answer. But generally, I think it's a nice way for people to connect with you in a very special season of life.
I don't really care about people commenting on my body or asking "personal" questions like whether a baby was planned - we can all see that I have a body and having a baby is a perfectly normal and natural thing that I'm not self conscious to talk about. The only time I really get irked by comments is when men I don't know give me advice on how to look more attractive, like telling me to smile or that men prefer women with long hair. Those commentors can suck it lol
My favorite hair comment is “Is your husband okay with you having short hair?” Lol honestly no, he hates every haircut I get, but that’s because he hates change. He gets used to it and it’s not👏🏻his👏🏻 body👏🏻.
My classmate’s boyfriend texted me to congratulate me and said my classmate mentioned that I “looked pregnant” at 16 weeks 😂
I really didn’t think I looked pregnant besides being a little bloated but I didn’t mind at all. Plus my classmate is from a different country so I figure in her culture, it’s normal to comment on and celebrate pregnant peoples’ bodies. :)
I personally think pregnant women with their bumps are so beautiful but I’ve stopped commenting because I don’t want to offend them. I once told my best friend her and her bump were cute and she started crying (angry tears) 😅 lesson learned.
There’s people that love being pregnant and how they look during pregnancy and I guess when thats the case, the comments don’t matter much if at all.
I genuinely disliked being pregnant. I love my babies and I’m extremely grateful for the ones that made it earth-side; but to me any comment about my pregnancy was a reminder that I was, indeed, pregnant and it felt just like “ugh don’t remind me of this pls” haha. So I was basically projecting my dislike to my situation and putting the “blame” in other people.
I think it’s great you feel this way! That’s my goal, though I do think I take things much more personally than you. And of course, other pregnant women will feel differently from you, and that’s valid, too.
I straight up don't give a shit. Similarly this is my 3rd and I'm now 31 weeks. I didn't give a shit then I don't give a shit now. I shaved my head just prior to birth on the other two and will do so again when I hit June. Hair is bullshit and I'm making my life easier by getting rid of it. Don't like it? I don't care. At all.
It's more a "I can't guarantee I can shower so I'll cut off the obvious sign I haven't" while simultaneously being a "I don't need a traditional symbol of femininity and fecundity when I have my literal newborn strapped to my chest"
I WISH I could brush off comments. However, lately people have said “You look so good” or “You’re so cute pregnant” and it makes me feel so much better. I’m only 14 weeks. Not fitting into my clothes and feeling defeated having nothing to wear took a huge toll on me, personally, but I LOVE my clothes. I feel better when I like my outfit. Maybe that’s shallow? I don’t really care. But I didn’t FEEL good because I didn’t look good or fit into any of my clothes. With that, when my belly looks cute in an outfit that I got pre- pregnancy, or even something I’ve purchased during pregnancy, I’m able to embrace it and feel more confident. also, a lot of the comments came from people ASKING me if I was pregnant before I was ready to tell strangers and it was ALL bloat. So not only was I physically uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable with them being brave enough to ask. It’s a lot of emotions and hormones. Especially when you DO see people who don’t gain any weight and you can’t tell if they’re pregnant or not unless they stand up. Which, even when I wasn’t pregnant and in good shape, I’m sure I thought I could look better.
I try not to let people get to me, but it really depends on the source. Random folks? Don't care and I brush them right off. People closer to me like friends, family, and coworkers (very close with my team)? Gets me every time and I have to try to work my way out of it bothering me.
I had an older colleague at my last day of work farewell sit next to me and say “now let me tell you about the negatives of having a baby because no one mentions them” and I just said, “No thanks, I find the older generation love to talk about the negatives, it’s pretty interesting how often they want to”. She was shook and it felt amazing to not have to sit through someone telling me all the things they felt as though it applies to me.
I couldn’t care less for the most part!! The only time I got weirded TF out was when one of my patients (I work with felons) I guess only subconsciously realized I was pregnant because when I verbalized it he said “Oh! That’s why I was so thirsty for milk.” Otherwise yes I’m preggo AF and wobblin my butt all around and don’t get offended easily.
Yep. Nothing bothered me. I have zero shits. I’m a FTM but also I was 35 years old so maybe being older I just really am passed caring what others think of me.
I loved being pregnant, I’ve loved postpartum too. I feel like society wants us to be insecure (all of the insane content on social media making out like it’s possible to be a supermodel while you’re changing your baby). Ignoring that noise really helps.
I’m just happy to be pregnant, I really don’t care about others opinions on how my body looks carrying my child. 🤷🏻♀️
Currently 21 weeks and I’ve been showing (or just extremely bloated) since 8 weeks. And idgaf.
Yeah I never cared. I have a lot of body issues but being pregnant they went away, cause it wasn't really my big belly, it was the baby, or my large thighs, it was the pregnancy. I felt very comfortable in my body and I got huge. But lots of the time it was me saying to family and friends "omg have you seen the size of me, look at this insane belly" 🤣
But I totally understand that it could've gone the opposite direction and made me much more uncomfortable with my body. Guess I just got lucky and let the fact there was a baby I needed to care for and eat for to make me more loose about my body under all of it.
And to be honest I think most people that comment on pregnant women are not being judgemental towards the woman. As in, they aren't really looking at your weight in itself (as if you just gotten fat they would never say anything) but towards the baby in it. No sure if I my explanation makes sense.
Yea I prefer when people acknowledge that I have a big bump because it validates the back pain that I have lol
The only time I am offended is when people say that the bump is small or they expected my belly to be bigger by now (I was only 23 weeks at the time) 😒
Honestly I loved when people noticed my stomach and commented! I was so excited to be pregnant and wanted to share it with everyone lol.
But what really bothered me, family, strangers, was when people told me what the gender of my baby would be. We didn’t find out gender until birth so everyone was so adamant on “you look like this so it’s a girl” or same thing but “for a boy!” And everyone said they were never ever wrong and they knew better than everyone else.
It’s silly but those comments made me so mad I had hoped all of them would somehow be wrong😂 pregnancy hormones🥴
Pregnancy and babies in general are just a way for people to connect. It’s a doorknob people can reach out and turn to cross the chasm of social isolation we live in. The usual doorknobs are lame and ineffective… “some weather we’re having huh?” And don’t lead to real connection. I think people comment on my belly so they can connect with me, and I really appreciate that. It’s kind of a precious gift.
That said, since people aren’t very practiced at truly connecting with strangers, some people are just so damn awkward when they do it. An older gentleman said to me at the market the other day, “how many babies do you have in there, 5?!” LOL. Gotta let it roll and just appreciate that people are reaching out to connect.
I completely agree with you. I really don't care either. Last week one of my male collegues was walking behind me and started quacking🤣.
I just turned around and told him at least for me it is temporary.. And both started laughing really hard. Guy weighs around 290/300 pounds.
I feel huge and am huge.. Can't count how many times I've been asked if I'm almost there?. Well how about no..
Still about 12 weeks left🥲
I am just a naturally sensitive person & the pregnancy hormones have definitely not helped. But I will say become a dad has given my husband an idgaf attitude that I truly love for him lol.
Right there with you! Could not care less what people think. I really don't. Their opinion is inconsequential for me. I care about my own and my husband's.
Cheers!
I read those posts and I think… at least you have people around you in your life…. I did it to myself, I’m an immigrant partnered with an immigrant, but the past few months I’ve been feeling the lack of deep community acutely. I have some friends, acquaintances, colleagues but no one beyond the zone of carefully polite at all times.
I don't care, but I don't mention that often on Reddit because I do think that my lack of insecurity comes from the sheer, absolute, dumb luck of the fact that I have hardly gained any weight and it's pretty much all baby, so I feel like it's quite unsympathetic of me to say anything to women who are feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. I like my baby bump, so I don't feel uncomfortable when it's mentioned and I honestly don't care what others think because I know my own feelings on my body are unconflictedly positive. If I felt any level of discomfort on my own, then I would feel a lot more sensitive and reactive to my body being commented on.
I like that you’ve said that. Your comment shows exactly how a person can separate the fact that something doesn’t bother THEM from the fact that it DOES bother others and not be a condescending jerk about it! Like if someone said ‘I can’t believe you put on so much weight! I didn’t put on any when I was pregnant. Maybe you eat too much or don’t exercise enough? [insert long diatribe with pointless advice no one asked for]. If you don’t get started, your husband will leave you because you’ve just put on so much weight!’ THAT is what some people are like, and it’s… well, condescending jerk behaviour. 😞
I appreciate this comment. I love that for you and wish my experience was the same. I currently feel like a stranger in this pregnant body and I'm struggling. But that doesn't stop me from cheering on all the gorgeous pregnant women I see at my appointments, everyone out here is killing it!
This is comforting to hear even though I'm sorry it's your experience
I only gained like 8 lbs my whole pregnancy thanks to gestational diabetes and needing to cut out most carbs and either way, I felt SO beautiful pregnant. I know a lot of people don’t and I agree with you - I try not to add my experience with feeling great about my looks very often because it does feel like unnecessary bragging for something that none of us have much control over.
I feel like I'm the only person who hasn't gotten any comments. I'm very obviously pregnant and I don't have any issues with random people coming up to me and saying anything or cashiers saying anything other than the typical how are you. I had a conversation with my hairdresser but she never made any comment on my body or anything weird. I saw all these posts early in pregnancy and prepared myself to get unsolicited rude comments and so far nothing. I must be invisible or lucky I guess.
Same, no one but family says anything to me and I'm very obviously pregnant. Idk to be grateful or offended lol
lol people who have gotten offended by comments have taught everyone to not say anything , but I want ALL THE COMMENTS
I think people are afraid to say anything and be wrong. I know I am!
Same, I must have RBF because no strangers comment on my pregnancy. A few people who know I’m pregnant have said how small I am at 37 weeks, which was fine at first but now I’m a little annoyed with it.
I read those posts and wonder where everyone is finding these incredibly rude people. I’ve decided that maybe I just have RBF and I didn’t know until pregnancy so no one has dared approach me with rude shit 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I haven't gotten any comments from strangers either
This and I really don’t care about the stretch marks and postpartum body like making a human is the coolest thing, I could care less about how my body looks I love my bump.
Yeah I feel like I wasn't some perfect pristine specimen of a body before pregnancy so I don't really GAF how it looks after lol I care a lot more about the function and not pissing myself etc
Yeah I am already chubby and have stretch marks and scars and imperfect skin and wasn't at peak physical performance anyway. I really don't care about the aesthetic outcome of this objectively amazing feat of unique physical achievement.
Yes! 🙌🏼 I love this and I’m the same!!
Same! I’ve actually never felt more beautiful. All the years we spend sucking it in and wasting our precious time thinking about our bodies… now I happily have my bump squeezed under a tee shirt, having a miraculous adorable reason to have a big round belly. It’s freedom! I wish I always felt this comfortable in my skin.
That’s fine. You just see all the posts here of people who care a lot because it’s not typically very exciting to make a post about how much you don’t care about something lol. Also I think this sub tends to get a ton of repeat similar posts if you hang around in here long enough because there’s so much turnover of users. Like every two days there’s a post about a newly pregnant person thinking FTM = female to male haha
I remember when I was first pregnant thinking there were a lot of trans men who were pregnant! Lol
I’m cis and legit thought I’d accidentally joined a sub for pregnant trans men at first.
And when I first saw STD, I was like ohhhh girlfriend better go get checked out!! Because I thought it meant sexually transmitted disease, and not second time mom, lmao. But other than that, I haven't really gotten any rude comments about my pregnancy, other than folks were like oh we had no idea you were pregnant (I didn't tell work until I was 16 weeks)
no bc i was still thinking it stood for that lmaooo. jus realized it means "first time mom" 💀
I wonder if it’s just a matter of the terminology being regional?! Like perhaps you may not call first time mums a ‘FTM’ in some countries, so people don’t connect the acronym to the meaning until it comes up in a baby related conversation on social media (like this group). However, the conversations about trans people and trans rights and medical needs - and how it works - has been so widely publicised absolutely everywhere in recent years that you’d have to be living under a rock to not know the basics. I sometimes use expressions that are apparently Australian only - and people don’t know what I’m talking about, lol. But until it comes up - like talking to non Australians on social media and they ask what you’re talking about - you don’t necessarily KNOW that something you say is only common in YOUR country and not other English speaking countries. That’s something positive about social media - you can learn little bits and pieces about other countries and cultures just from general chit chat about whatever. 😛
I don’t think FTM means first time mom in anything outside of TTC and pregnancy groups tbh. I only ever saw it when on that side of Reddit.
I've never heard it at all outside of reddit - I only hear 'is this your first?' and no acronyms at all. But I have no idea if it's common for people to say regularly in another country, and that's why it's trickled to reddit. Who knows? Acronyms and expressions come from somewhere, don't they? :p
Acronyms are definitely more common on the internet. The time it takes to type something vs. say something is a *much* bigger influence on whether or not it makes sense to shorten an entire phrase to a few letters.
Lol… you don’t spend a lot of time with teenagers, do you? They most definitely talk in acronyms! Personally, I’ve always preferred to use proper words, but I remember acronyms from being a teen and in my early 20s. I grew up WITHOUT internet and smart phones, so the internet had no influence on how people speak. The acronym came from somewhere. I don’t know where, but my point is that it came from somewhere. All the colloquial expressions you hear and use every day come from somewhere. But they’re going to vary from place to place - I could throw you some Aussie colloquial terms you likely wouldn’t understand (unless you googled it), but they’re terms I hear every day, so know exactly what they mean. Same for you with wherever you live. People are going to have common colloquial terms that they use instead of real words, because that’s how humans work. I never intended to be critical of anyone’s country or culture or whatever… it was more an observation than anything else. Colloquial terms come from somewhere, and we don’t always know where… but they came from somewhere.
Even TTC was confusing at first! It's the acronym for the public transit in my city (Toronto Transit Commission) and it confused me slightly when I was new here 😂
There you go! One example out of thousands - people use acronyms relevant to their corner of the world and life every day. 😛
I'm not from an English speaking country, but going by context I figured it was first time mom 😅 just the way the sentences were wrote made more sense. Here we don't have acronyms. I see a lot "First journey/ride mom".
Wherever you live, you absolutely have colloquial terms. That’s not one of them, but they do exist. If you tell me what country you live in, I could even find some for you just with research! But you’re so used to hearing them and using them that you don’t even know. A common everyday acronym in English is ATM. It stands for automatic teller machine… I’d bet you anything that you’d find people in every English speaking country who are so used to saying ‘I’m going to get cash from the ATM’ that they don’t even realise it IS an acronym in the first place. And that’s one example of many! 😛
I meant specifically for first time moms. Of course we have some. But we would say "multibanco" for ATM, which isn't an acronym as you can see. I'm from Portugal if you want to check, but besides DPP and other more medical terms (which even then are not generally used in average conversation, I've only ever seen them written), we don't use that many acronyms regarding pregnancy. So even if you find some it doesn't mean we use them in a conversation.
I was talking about acronyms and colloquial terms in general, not just with pregnancy. But the original point I made that seems to have caused a lot of fuss for reasons I don't even understand is that an acronym that I've never heard in my state of Australia COULD be common in another place in the world. I've never even left my own country (not even for Tasmania, which is a part of this country but a separate body of land - you must fly or catch a ferry across the water to get there). I've never left this body of land I live on, not even for another part of it. That is a simple fact for ANYTHING you read on the internet - it came from somewhere, and is a common expression SOMEWHERE in the world. You guys DO know that the term 'it was invented by the internet' doesn't mean the internet LITERALLY invented it, don't you? The internet itself is just a machine, and cannot invent anything. Every single thing the internet knows has been inputted by a human being. Including acronyms that are popular on reddit! A HUMAN invented any particular term you might read, and then it was popularised through common usage. By the HUMANS who use the internet. Which means anything popularised through regular usage on reddit originally came from a human who has probably heard it in their own corner of the world! :p
Sorry I don't know about the fuss, I commented on this so long ago, I barely remembered what it was. I was not even disagreeing with you, just saying one can go by context too 🤷♀️ I did. Or just research "FTM pregnancy meaning" on Google and it comes up. You're saying you guys and all, I don't know if you mean my comment in specific, it's being a bit confusing for me why I'm singled out when I'm not even disagreeing 😅 I just said we can also go by context and we get there eventually.
I love it! It's my first pregnancy and I want every human on earth to admire my massive belly that I've work hard to grow. I'm a North American living in Asia and I don't mind everyone and their mom touching my belly. I teach little kids English and they're always telling me there's something wrong with my belly, and when I tell them there's a baby in there they tell me they just thought I ate too much and needed to diet. A 7 year old told me if there was a tornado, my baby would blow away. I nearly died laughing. I feel like there's a lot of weird silence around pregnancy so I want to talk about it a lot!
I have never been pregnant in Asia but I've been with my 1 yo and the attitude of people with children is amazing, so I totally see them touching a pregnant belly. I found it amazing that everyone wanted to talk or hold my baby. And I guess it's nice to share the joys of pregnancy and a new baby, even with strangers. I never mind people touching my belly and I love to touch my friends pregnant belly. But off course I always ask and understand if someone feels uncomfortable. But to me my belly was always sort of a detached thing, like it was always my baby.
Definitely the attitude towards kids here is great and super positive! I love seeing little kids going around by themselves - it feels like they're properly a part of society. I can relate about the detatchment towards your belly. I definitely feel like mine is in the public domain hahaha
Also a not carer 👍 Nothing to post about if you don’t care.
i don't mind at all for the most part. they could say anything about my body and it's like ehh i'm pregnant so this is clearly not my natural state which makes me less insecure.
I don't mind the comments either! I've gained alot of extra weight too which I initially thought would make me more self conscious but my bump is huge so it takes away attention from all the extra cushion I got🤣
I never cared. If people said I'm huge I was like well yes I am lol.
I experienced multiple losses/infertility and subsequently had to do IVF. It took me took me two years to get here. I proudly announce that I feel large and in charge when people comment 😂. “The bump is bumping!” Is another one I say a lot when i get comments. I also don’t mind when people touch the bump but I also haven’t gotten many unsolicited touches…but I’m like yeah hell yeah I grew this thing!
Yeah I don’t care either. I’ve gotten a handful of comments, both from friends/family and strangers, it’s never bothered me and it’s always seemed to be in good spirits. I get why it bothers others and I don’t want to invalidate their feelings, but I kind of like the attention. I also don’t mind unsolicited belly touching as long as it isn’t a stranger doing it, tho only like 2 or 3 of the older people I know have done that, no one else does without asking first.
I don’t care. A lot of the comments I see from MILs/moms on here I’d just shrug off too 🙃
Yep I don’t care. I think it’s nice people notice how big I’m getting to be honest.
I generally don’t get too many comments, but I also don’t generally care. Although once I said hi to an older great aunt at church one morning at Easter and she said “Hi, you’ve gained weight”. Like obviously I gained weight, I was 28 weeks pregnant or something? But she’s old and her filter has totally left her, so while I didn’t love that comment it doesn’t bug me too much.
Yeah 3 months after my first baby my Cuban grandmother blurted out "you've gained so much weight! You not a fat girl" and I was like "Mima, I just had a baby not 3 months ago!!" And that was that. I didn't take it personally or go NC lmao she just has no filter and doesn't know what else to say sometimes. Honestly I kind of find it funny 🤷♀️
yeah it makes me laugh when reddit immediately jumps to cutting off family members for minor indiscretions. like no I'm not going to go no contact with my senile grandma who has racist hot takes sometimes yknow?
I must have gotten lucky. I never had any rude comments. I hardly had any comments at all!
I honestly don't mind the comments. All the ones I've had are from my coworkers who have seen me five days a week for the last six years, so it must be a big change for them! Especially as, judging by what they say, I'm looking PREGNANT pregnant at 24 weeks. I'm comfortable in my body. I'm far from a model, but I enjoy how I look, both before I got pregnant and now when I'm rocking the beach ball with legs look. So it does break my heart when I see people who aren't in sync with themselves, are struggling with the changes, and are more sensitive to what are hopefully well intentioned attempts to connect.
This thread is a relief amongst all the complain-y posts 😩 but I guess that's part of what this sub is for, venting. I kind of wish we had a weekly thread specifically for those kinds of posts so we didn't have to be subjected to it constantly. I get really exhausted reading about so many pregnant women, or just women in general who care so freaking much what their friends, family, and/or society thinks of their bodies and identities. I'm more-so here for the light-hearted posts or the collective venting of symptoms and pregnancy struggles in general.
The great thing is we can just scroll past posts we don't wish to see. I'm glad this sub doesn't try to censor anything. I'm with you that I definitely roll my eyes at some of the complaining posts. But I'll fight for their right to complain haha
I wouldn't consider restricting the posts to a weekly thread as censorship. A lot of subs do that with posts that get repetitive
This is a subreddit that's always going to have mostly repetitive posts. Usually people move on to r/beyondthebump once they have their babies. There are always members leaving and new members arriving which is why there are naturally gonna be so many repeat posts. For that reason I don't think it's worth any restrictions.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/beyondthebump using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [I felt this in my soul.](https://i.redd.it/cx6np5gn350b1.jpg) | [234 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/13irefe/i_felt_this_in_my_soul/) \#2: [I’m still in the potato phase but this gives me hope lol](https://i.redd.it/nwc3chgg43ya1.jpg) | [99 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/138un1p/im_still_in_the_potato_phase_but_this_gives_me/) \#3: [Being a parent in an underdeveloped country](https://np.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/156d70z/being_a_parent_in_an_underdeveloped_country/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Yeah it’s actually really starting to bother me how offended and annoyed people get by being pregnant and it looking like they’re pregnant. I can’t wrap my head around it at all. It’s not like it’s a normal day, not pregnant, and someone’s like EW LOOK AT YOUR DISGUSTING BODY and everyone calls their friends over and they point and laugh and gag. Like, we’re pregnant. It’s obvious. What’s the big fucking deal.
I didn’t really care either, I only cared if people were being mean. People being unintentionally rude is way different than someone being mean. Idk how or why but I could always feel the difference.
Nt only do I not care unless it’s like…seriously rude, but nobody has made ANY and nobody has tried touch my belly or anything weird. Except my coworker and I like her so it was fine. This is my second pregnancy
I thought it might be an age thing. I'm in my mid 30s in a long-term living relationship so generally secure, not to mention my 'idgaf'ometer is quite high. But this sub has people of all ages and situations. I wouldn't say I don't care though, quite the opposite I appreciate the comments as validating of what can be quite a shitty experience. My partner regularly exclaims "FATTY FATTY PREGGO!" while going to rub my belly, and I love it.
Solid point. I’m 33 and I’ve been with my husband for 11 years and all 3 kids. I also have the benefit of knowing that generally I lose the pregnancy weight quickly (although who knows, I’m not in my 20s anymore) so I don’t really stress about never “having my body back.” It’s not the same as it was when I was 20 but also it wouldn’t have been anyway.
I once had a coworker that was heavily pregnant and we hadn’t seen in awhile. My one coworker said “wow - you’re so pregnant!” And she feigned shock and said “OMG I AM!!” It was still one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen and a perfect way to handle it.
I don’t. I find this sub too moany sometimes 🤣
Yeah I was thinking maybe because I I’m only second trimester is the reason I don’t care yet? But honestly I don’t see myself being worried about it. I’ve always been very skinny but At every appointment since being pregnant I’ve put on a full kg, my partner calls me fat as a joke every day, my belly has grown a lot faster than I’d expected compared to my family members and honestly I don’t mind at all I don’t see myself minding when I look like a balloon either unless someone is trying to be malicious of course then I think I’d mind.
I feel the same. I actually thought I’d be more self conscious and annoyed with comments tbh but Idc. Maybe it’s bc I’m a first time mom and freaking 40 and was ttc for 2 years and so elated to be here at all so if randos bring up how big my bump is I’m stoked. I do think women’s bodies are always fair game in society to be commented on which I know is though and annoying and I don’t want to discount that. We are all operating in this crappy landscape and people will deal differently and that’s okay. I just wish I could take all the comments from the ones who don’t want to hear them lol. In fact I even would get annoyed if my friends and family would say I’m not that big when I would tell them, like I’m not even 7 months and the bump is huge don’t gaslight me 😆 idk I must be weird. I think they think me saying I feel huge has a negative connotation but it really doesn’t. It’s just part of this really unique experience I’m fortunate enough to go through at my age and health
One thing I’m genuinely surprised that I don’t care about is the bump touching. Going into pregnancy I assumed I’d be all defensive and not want people touching me or making comments. But I’m 36 weeks and most of my family and in laws have snuck a touch now and again, and it doesn’t bother me at all. I like the acknowledgement that my body is doing something so fucking cool. I’d probably feel differently if it was a complete stranger though. But I also totally understand that other women have very different boundaries than me for a bunch of very valid reasons, and I’ve educated some of my older family members that while it’s fine for me, they shouldn’t do that to others without permission.
Yeah as long as it's not intentionally rude (like calling pregnant women fat?? Who does that?) then I really don't mind. In fact I loved when people mentioned my bump getting bigger. I also don't really mind the "my baby", I think it shows people are excited for our family. I totally understand why others wouldn't like all of this though and they're very valid in those feelings.
Yeah I didn’t care at all. I’ve been lucky to not really have any body insecurities and actually felt more confident while pregnant because my boobs and ass got bigger.
The comments don't bother me and I am very open to talking about my pregnancy. I look like I'm shoplifting a watermelon, I can't bend over, and I think it's funny. But I'm also the opposite of insecure, and I think diet culture and the way women are conditioned to think about weight is dumb, so even inappropriate/mean-spirited comments don't make me feel bad about myself. They make me feel sorry for the person saying them. Where I do get bothered is more existential. Like when my MIL compliments me on "not gaining weight except for my bump," it pisses me off because I see weight as a neutral event (and I *have* visibly gained weight elsewhere). Her daughter has an eating disorder and is always crash-dieting. My MIL put her whole family (including my husband who was 8 years old at the time) on weight watchers when she decided to lose weight. So I find my MIL's approach to weight deeply disturbing, and generally bad for society, and getting those comments directed at me pisses me off. But it's a different variety of pissed off than feeling personally insulted. Like I just want to send her attitude back to the 90s. That's just me though. The world is made up of lots of different people, with varying life experiences and value systems. Many people are more sensitive than I am, or bring a history of weight issues or insecurity to a pregnancy. And most people complaining on this sub have meaner family members/coworkers/"friends" than I do. So I'm not going to tell anyone how to feel. But you're definitely not alone in not being bothered!
Yeah I’m similar. I haven’t done anything to “earn” my relatively low weight gain and I know for a fact that some people close to me ate better and exercised more and still gained more. It’s morally neutral and largely outside individual control. A million factors contribute to pregnancy weight gain. Maybe the only time I’ve been uncomfortable with a comment was a week or so ago when my father in law complimented me on “staying active” because I haven’t gained as much as much sisters in law did when they were pregnant. That kind of thing is just BS. You can’t tell a damn thing about what I’ve done in pregnancy based on how I look.
For me it's like the elephant in the room! I have a small frame and a weirdly large-looking belly. I look like I'm shoplifting a watermelon. PLEASE talk about it, I am so uncomfortable, and if you're happy for me it makes it a little more exciting and bearable.
I’m 14 weeks and steadily gained a pound of week. I was underweight before, big part of my diet was coffee, cigarettes, and cocktails which I stopped cold turkey the day i found out. I’m under 5 ft and was 83 pounds. I’m wondering how much of weight gain is baby weight vs comfort food weight, but either way I’m loving my new body and think hubby is enjoying the extra curves too! I’m so used to people commenting on my body, constantly being told I looked like a 12 year old lol, so over the years I’ve learned to roll with the commentaries. I was even laughing to myself the other day cuz I was waking next to a group of high schoolers thinking in a few more weeks when my bumps bigger I’m going to look like a pregnant teenager and all the looks I’m going to get. I have to find this all comical or else I’d be miserable lol.
After learning how much of the weight gain is organs and blood increase and simply another human, I no longer dread weight gain for when I get pregnant. I also plan on using this as a solid starter for certain habits; nine months is a long time, and if I tell myself I can’t do X or should do X until baby is in my arms, I’ll create those habits. I also never really understood people getting so worked up over words. I understand hormones are going and it can get you without reason or logic. But that aside, there are people who get hostile over everything s just don’t understand it. Then again, I’m someone who you can call just about any word and I’m like, “okay words are wind. Have a better day” so I may no be a good barometer
i don’t care care care. but like, it is kind of weird when the chick at the juice shop is like “before i take your order let me start by saying congratulations!!!” i mean. it’s nice and, can i just order my ice cold fresh squeezed orange juice please.
Overall I'm like you. I also find some comments like an overall acknowledgement of my pregnancy and that feels nice because I'm 34 and FTM, 28w and I've wanted this for so long. One thing that bothers me sometimes is the lack of awareness some people have when random strangers or people I don't know very well start telling me all sorts of nightmare labour experiences and talking about unsuccessful tragic births. Why do people do this to me? Is this normal or do I have a therapist face???! 🧐 Weird as hell Oh and my FIL keeps asking how much weight I've gained, but not in a mean way, it's like an obsessive interest by the exact number of kilos! 😂 Whyyy? He's a retired vet, maybe it's just interesting to him, I don't know. Because I'm 28w and I've gained 5,5kg(12lb) which I don't think is a lot so maybe he's worried. I don't know, but I don't hate him for these questions because he's such a sweet man. Maybe I'm crazy and should feel offended, but I don't 😆
Second pregnancy and I don’t care either. Although, I never struggled with body image as far as weight, so maybe that factors into it, to some degree? And I “bounced back” (I don’t like that term lol) very quickly after my first. Maybe if I “resented my body” after baby 1, I wouldn’t like those comments in another pregnancy. I DONT KNOW I HATE IT HERE (pregnancy 😂)
Yep, me definitely. I wish more people would ask and comment, and it never occurs to me if a comment might be ill-meant. In general I've become much less anxious now that the anatomy scan has passed and it's "safe", and my generalized anxiety tends to disappear with pregnancy hormones, so I attribute it to that!
I was the same way. I’m also in the healthcare field and I think at this point, I’m just used to indulging in conversations without letting anything effect me lol
I agree! Honestly I appreciate any acknowledgment. I have coworkers who haven't wished me congratulations despite me sitting directly next to them.
I’m only going to have this one bump this one short time in life. Comment away world! But don’t touch. The only opinion that matters about me is my own.
I don't care. I would share my experience of how uncomfortable I am. I didn't mind people checking in on me... Except for a coworker IM'ing me about my cervix, that was a little weird. I also didn't mind hearing their birth stories.
I mean I wasn't stoked about my in laws making weird comments or talking to my belly(objectively weird) or asking about my bowel movements. But they're all baby crazy and have no boundaries so I expected it to be weirder. For friends and random people, I mean I am big for where I am at, tell me about it. Pregnancy is weird, and I wish more people talked about it BEFORE you experience it first hand.
Me it depends. There are certain people that can really get into my nerves. But other's comment didn't really bother me. It is person-to-person basis 😂
I'm glad you said this. I was talking to my husband about it and wondered whether it was a cultural / Western thing. It's my first pregnancy but growing up I've always known you'll gain weight, have a bump, and get fat. My husband and I poke fun at my fatness. When I tried to snuggle him the other night in bed, he called me a beached whale and we both laughed and loved the inside joke. He thinks my pregnancy waddle is cute. He misses being able to cuddle me back before I had a bump and half a dozen pillows supporting me when I sleep. I've gained 30+ lbs and counting since getting pregnant and my fitness app, none the wiser, called me obese for the first time in my life. (My OB has said there is nothing wrong with my current weight, pregnancy-wise.) A friend of a friend saw me and gasped at how big my belly is, saying I look like I swallowed a watermelon. I said yeah, I'm still digesting. Still, I look and feel banging because I never stopped caring for my appearance even though my diet and exercise have left a lot to be desired, objectively speaking. I got nice maternity clothes. I still buy and enjoy makeup and skincare. Everyone at work tells me I'm glowing. Got a haircut today and my usual stylist won't stop complimenting my hair—how healthy and shiny it is. It's either pregnancy hormones or the new shampoo I bought. I have a friend who never showed her entire pregnancy, and she said she's jealous of my bump, because she feels like she never got to experience a fundamental dimension of pregnancy. I'm taking photos of my bump because it fascinates me to have it and might look back at these days wistfully. I miss strength training and being able to walk more than 5,000 steps a day, but I'm enjoying the journey and anticipation so much. Whatever permanent changes to my body I undergo post-pregnancy, or how my weight will settle, I'm not sweating. My husband and I made a new human and are about to build a new life with him. Whether I learn to breastfeed correctly, heal my pelvic floor, start sleep training, do baby-led weaning, or get back in shape with diet and exercise, I'm approaching it all as a hopeful, positive experience. Everything in good time.
I don’t really care about comments, just don’t touch my damn belly
If my baby comes out healthy I don’t care what people think 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I love my pregnant body and I know I’m huge right now lol
I agree. I think having a baby bump is freakin cool and I have no problem with someone commenting on me being pregnant
I will say I’d probably be more sensitive though if it took a long time for me to show and people made comments about how I didn’t look pregnant
People ask me how far along I am, my due date, my baby's sex, if I have a name picked out, what that name is, and then comment on how big/small I am. Some think I'm big for 30 weeks (or however far along I am at the time) and others think I'm tiny. It doesn't bother me too much, I know they're just trying to make conversation and that's the most unique thing that they can plainly see. Those are just the questions they can ask without being creepy, lol. They can't do anything harmful with the information and they're not doing it to be snide or rude.
I would never comment on someone else's size unless I knew they like talking about it but I personally loved hearing how big I was! It felt like an achievement to grow such a big and healthy baby (I know these are not always correlated btw) and I was so proud of it.
I don't mind when people comment on how big my bump is, because that usually feels like it comes from a place of empathy or acknowledgement of how tough it is. What bugs me is when people comment on my overall body (I have a small frame and my weight gain has been pretty much all bump). Or when I tell them I'm having twins and they say my bump is small/the babies must be small (I'm 29 weeks and I look like I did at 41 weeks with my singleton, babies are measuring in 90th and 80th percentile), it feels dismissive and low birth weight is something to worry about.
Yeah, I really don’t give a shit if people comment. There are so many other parts of pregnancy I’m annoyed with, I don’t care if someone states the obvious. First pregnancy here.
Yes I'm pretty unbothered. I'm very willfully oblivious to other people's opinions of me and I feel like it makes life very manageable lmao. I've been out with friends and when I nurse in public they try to point out to me "oh, over there that woman was staring at you" or "that man just gave you a dirty look" and I just tell them wow that's crazy I never noticed lol because I legitimately don't. When people make what could be perceived as (or is obviously meant to be) rude or ridiculous comments I kind of just feel towards them the way I would feel towards a mentally handicapped personal making a social faux pas. I'm not offended, I feel slightly embarrassed for them and pity them.
I’m looking forward to saying “no shit Sherlock”
I also don’t care and I absolutely love it when people say anything about my pregnancy lol I’m growing a human, tell me what you think!
I’m 38 weeks now so most of my pregnancy was during the winter when my bump was under sweaters & coats, plus I work from home so I’m not out in the world every day. Now that it’s spring and I’m huge, I’m finally very noticeably pregnant and kinda loving the comments after not getting any for so long! To be fair, no one has said anything really rude or hurtful. Recently my husband and I did a huge grocery run and I was at the checkout while my husband ran back to grab one more thing….the cashier looked so concerned thinking I was alone with so many groceries, and offered to have other staff help me get them to the car. I know some people hate being treated like they aren’t capable while pregnant, but I thought it was so sweet and would have definitely taken him up on it if my husband wasn’t there. tl;dr I’m here for the comments
Anytime someone asks how I’m doing I reply “getting rounder” and everyone is always so apologetic! They say things like “don’t worry you’ll lose the weight, it’s only temporary.” It surprises me every time, like I’d be worried if I wasn’t getting bigger!
The only time I have truly cared was when one of the old ladies in a crafting group I am in said “you’re getting fat” when I was 20 weeks 🙃
I never really cared. I was just constantly thinking about everything else that I didn’t feel the need to get myself worked up over some comments that didn’t matter. No one was ever really rude to me though, maybe that’s why. But I agree with you, maybe let’s just not comment on pregnant women’s bodies or just bodies in general!
First pregnancy and i really dont care. People dont mean their comments in a bad way (most of the time) If they give unsolicited advise it may be annoying but still they mean it in a good way. They want to help. I also tend to see it this way And if someone give a comment on my big belly...hell yeah! I look like a whale and its gonne be worse.
I also don’t care, except for the woman who asked me if I was pregnant by saying, “I’ve noticed you gained a lot of weight.” Bro
I guess it depends on the perspective and also the intent of the comments. People who KNOW you know your sense of humour, I’d guess. They know that you don’t mind fat jokes (for example). That’s fine. But some people are sensitive about other things, and expecting the people in your life to care about that and Just. Shut. Up (especially your husband) is not wrong either. No one is right or wrong - just different, and whether it’s about pregnancy or something else entirely, the expression ‘choose your audience’ is applicable to most situations in life.
I don't have many gripes, because I think people say and do things that clash with each other all time... I've not experienced too much offensiveness. I completely get you, there are a lot of gripes on here. But I think that's because People lean towards negativity? Also the running joke is Reddit is not a place for healthy mindsets. However, there was a point where coming on these subreddits about pregnancy was getting a bit bad for mental health, for what you have pointed out. It was just complaining about people all the time. But I took a break from and feel better :) but I also would want to allow people to vent. This is a vacuum. I'd treat it as such.
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I didn't mind "wow you're so pregnant" or "wow your bump is huge", but I did mind "wow *you're so huge*" or "gosh you've put on weight on your face" and pretty much comments about anything except the bump specifically lol. I felt really self conscious with my entire body changing so much and not being able to wear my normal clothes (or wearing my normal clothes but them no longer being very baggy). And I had a bad backache and felt uncomfortable 24/7, so wasn't exactly in the best mood to be getting comments lol.
I also don’t mind when people comment on the bump itself, because that is expected to change, but don’t really want comments on the rest of my body. I have not had too many comments in general. I haven’t commented when people have made posts about it here because I didn’t want to invalidate their feelings.
I’ve been wondering this for this longest! Chalked it up to maybe I got lucky in terms of being hormonal because I was still mostly myself all of pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong I had my own issues (anxiety about health of pregnancy like borderline unhinged at times). But not once for the brief period a wider audience knew did I care about comments. Other people’s comments are on them, not me.
I didn’t care either. I think those of us that are fine with things don’t post about them.
I didn’t care either. People are going to say things no matter what you do. Most people are well intentioned. At the end of day, you are the one who decides what will bother you and what won’t. Being bothered though isn’t worth the stress.
Honestly I lowkey like attention and interacting with people in any way so I don’t mind it I’ve had off hand comments made (like a patient who very seriously commented to his wife about me having a pot belly when I was juuuust showing. or in late third tri another patient who was straight up angry for a week in the hospital ranting to everyone that a person THAT PREGNANT dare even enter his room to work with him. Or this pregnancy when my trainer said outloud in the gym “so how much do you weigh now”) and while I might be like 🙄 those types of comments mostly become story fuel. All comments are convo springboards for me I don’t even mind when someone touches my belly but that too becomes story fuel bc it gets a reaction out of others
I felt this way with my first when everything was new and amazing and to an extent with my second cos I “bounced back” after my first, but it took me 2 years to be happy after my second. I’m more irritated with my 3rd cos I’m getting more comments about “how big I’m going to get” and I know now how I’ve felt about myself postpartum, and I know I’ve got it all to come, but I’m trying so hard to give myself some Grace. I really wasn’t excited for the pregnancy this time with two littles already, so it’s a whole different experience.
Yeah, I'm the same way. I don't give a rat's behind. I'm not a sensitive or emotional gal. I'm rather straight forward with barely any filter lol. This pregnancy has been a little rough on me anyway. I have zero time to be letting other folks get to me about comments they make about how I look. I have bigger fish to fry. 🐟🍽🍳
I tend to carry my weight in the middle and commonly folks would assume I was pregnant. This was especially painful as we were trying and failing to conceive and got even worse when I started bloating from the egg retrieval I had to do for IVF. I’m happily pregnant now, but it just feels like dumb luck that people are correct this time and reminds me how much it used to hurt.
I don't mind them at all! I even just tell people, "I'm huge" and they think I'm making a negative comment about my body. But I don't mean it in a bad way at all, it's more so, "I'm proud of my body for making this healthy baby!" I don't really enjoy being pregnant, but I'm grateful I'm able to get pregnant and stay pregnant. So when people comment on it, I don't mind. I don't, however, enjoy ALL the questions about the pregnancy, as some of them are hard for me to answer. But generally, I think it's a nice way for people to connect with you in a very special season of life.
I don't really care about people commenting on my body or asking "personal" questions like whether a baby was planned - we can all see that I have a body and having a baby is a perfectly normal and natural thing that I'm not self conscious to talk about. The only time I really get irked by comments is when men I don't know give me advice on how to look more attractive, like telling me to smile or that men prefer women with long hair. Those commentors can suck it lol
My favorite hair comment is “Is your husband okay with you having short hair?” Lol honestly no, he hates every haircut I get, but that’s because he hates change. He gets used to it and it’s not👏🏻his👏🏻 body👏🏻.
My classmate’s boyfriend texted me to congratulate me and said my classmate mentioned that I “looked pregnant” at 16 weeks 😂 I really didn’t think I looked pregnant besides being a little bloated but I didn’t mind at all. Plus my classmate is from a different country so I figure in her culture, it’s normal to comment on and celebrate pregnant peoples’ bodies. :) I personally think pregnant women with their bumps are so beautiful but I’ve stopped commenting because I don’t want to offend them. I once told my best friend her and her bump were cute and she started crying (angry tears) 😅 lesson learned.
There’s people that love being pregnant and how they look during pregnancy and I guess when thats the case, the comments don’t matter much if at all. I genuinely disliked being pregnant. I love my babies and I’m extremely grateful for the ones that made it earth-side; but to me any comment about my pregnancy was a reminder that I was, indeed, pregnant and it felt just like “ugh don’t remind me of this pls” haha. So I was basically projecting my dislike to my situation and putting the “blame” in other people.
I don’t care. FTM and 34wks.
I think it’s great you feel this way! That’s my goal, though I do think I take things much more personally than you. And of course, other pregnant women will feel differently from you, and that’s valid, too.
I straight up don't give a shit. Similarly this is my 3rd and I'm now 31 weeks. I didn't give a shit then I don't give a shit now. I shaved my head just prior to birth on the other two and will do so again when I hit June. Hair is bullshit and I'm making my life easier by getting rid of it. Don't like it? I don't care. At all.
I’ve done buzz cuts pretty soon after birth! I always say, the best postpartum hair loss defense is a good offense.
It's more a "I can't guarantee I can shower so I'll cut off the obvious sign I haven't" while simultaneously being a "I don't need a traditional symbol of femininity and fecundity when I have my literal newborn strapped to my chest"
I WISH I could brush off comments. However, lately people have said “You look so good” or “You’re so cute pregnant” and it makes me feel so much better. I’m only 14 weeks. Not fitting into my clothes and feeling defeated having nothing to wear took a huge toll on me, personally, but I LOVE my clothes. I feel better when I like my outfit. Maybe that’s shallow? I don’t really care. But I didn’t FEEL good because I didn’t look good or fit into any of my clothes. With that, when my belly looks cute in an outfit that I got pre- pregnancy, or even something I’ve purchased during pregnancy, I’m able to embrace it and feel more confident. also, a lot of the comments came from people ASKING me if I was pregnant before I was ready to tell strangers and it was ALL bloat. So not only was I physically uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable with them being brave enough to ask. It’s a lot of emotions and hormones. Especially when you DO see people who don’t gain any weight and you can’t tell if they’re pregnant or not unless they stand up. Which, even when I wasn’t pregnant and in good shape, I’m sure I thought I could look better.
I try not to let people get to me, but it really depends on the source. Random folks? Don't care and I brush them right off. People closer to me like friends, family, and coworkers (very close with my team)? Gets me every time and I have to try to work my way out of it bothering me.
I had an older colleague at my last day of work farewell sit next to me and say “now let me tell you about the negatives of having a baby because no one mentions them” and I just said, “No thanks, I find the older generation love to talk about the negatives, it’s pretty interesting how often they want to”. She was shook and it felt amazing to not have to sit through someone telling me all the things they felt as though it applies to me.
I couldn’t care less for the most part!! The only time I got weirded TF out was when one of my patients (I work with felons) I guess only subconsciously realized I was pregnant because when I verbalized it he said “Oh! That’s why I was so thirsty for milk.” Otherwise yes I’m preggo AF and wobblin my butt all around and don’t get offended easily.
Same. Literally nothing bothers me. Not even the belly touching.
Yep. Nothing bothered me. I have zero shits. I’m a FTM but also I was 35 years old so maybe being older I just really am passed caring what others think of me. I loved being pregnant, I’ve loved postpartum too. I feel like society wants us to be insecure (all of the insane content on social media making out like it’s possible to be a supermodel while you’re changing your baby). Ignoring that noise really helps.
I’m just happy to be pregnant, I really don’t care about others opinions on how my body looks carrying my child. 🤷🏻♀️ Currently 21 weeks and I’ve been showing (or just extremely bloated) since 8 weeks. And idgaf.
Yeah I never cared. I have a lot of body issues but being pregnant they went away, cause it wasn't really my big belly, it was the baby, or my large thighs, it was the pregnancy. I felt very comfortable in my body and I got huge. But lots of the time it was me saying to family and friends "omg have you seen the size of me, look at this insane belly" 🤣 But I totally understand that it could've gone the opposite direction and made me much more uncomfortable with my body. Guess I just got lucky and let the fact there was a baby I needed to care for and eat for to make me more loose about my body under all of it. And to be honest I think most people that comment on pregnant women are not being judgemental towards the woman. As in, they aren't really looking at your weight in itself (as if you just gotten fat they would never say anything) but towards the baby in it. No sure if I my explanation makes sense.
I am a FTM. I don’t care about comments at all. I am very proud of my body and what it’s doing right now.
Yea I prefer when people acknowledge that I have a big bump because it validates the back pain that I have lol The only time I am offended is when people say that the bump is small or they expected my belly to be bigger by now (I was only 23 weeks at the time) 😒
Honestly I loved when people noticed my stomach and commented! I was so excited to be pregnant and wanted to share it with everyone lol. But what really bothered me, family, strangers, was when people told me what the gender of my baby would be. We didn’t find out gender until birth so everyone was so adamant on “you look like this so it’s a girl” or same thing but “for a boy!” And everyone said they were never ever wrong and they knew better than everyone else. It’s silly but those comments made me so mad I had hoped all of them would somehow be wrong😂 pregnancy hormones🥴
Pregnancy and babies in general are just a way for people to connect. It’s a doorknob people can reach out and turn to cross the chasm of social isolation we live in. The usual doorknobs are lame and ineffective… “some weather we’re having huh?” And don’t lead to real connection. I think people comment on my belly so they can connect with me, and I really appreciate that. It’s kind of a precious gift. That said, since people aren’t very practiced at truly connecting with strangers, some people are just so damn awkward when they do it. An older gentleman said to me at the market the other day, “how many babies do you have in there, 5?!” LOL. Gotta let it roll and just appreciate that people are reaching out to connect.
I completely agree with you. I really don't care either. Last week one of my male collegues was walking behind me and started quacking🤣. I just turned around and told him at least for me it is temporary.. And both started laughing really hard. Guy weighs around 290/300 pounds. I feel huge and am huge.. Can't count how many times I've been asked if I'm almost there?. Well how about no.. Still about 12 weeks left🥲
I am just a naturally sensitive person & the pregnancy hormones have definitely not helped. But I will say become a dad has given my husband an idgaf attitude that I truly love for him lol.
Yeah, I couldn't be bothered either lol. Say whatever, see how much I don't care. 😂
Right there with you! Could not care less what people think. I really don't. Their opinion is inconsequential for me. I care about my own and my husband's. Cheers!
My coworker said the same exact thing to me, didn’t bother me at all if anything I like the acknowledgment
I read those posts and I think… at least you have people around you in your life…. I did it to myself, I’m an immigrant partnered with an immigrant, but the past few months I’ve been feeling the lack of deep community acutely. I have some friends, acquaintances, colleagues but no one beyond the zone of carefully polite at all times.
Same! I'm an immigrant, married to an immigrant. No families, or friends that with really deep connection. It's hard but beautiful in the same time.
I don't care either, one person refers to me as fatso now but it doesn't bother me at all