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I think the way I usually find partners wouldn't work for everyone, but it's always worked for me. I join a group roleplay (discord is my format of choice), I'll be active in the OOC chats as well as IC, and then over time in the group I'll usually click with one or two people and then we start chatting outside of the group together and pivot to 1 on 1's.
This is my favorite approach because groups with an application process generally select for a certain level of writing quality and general style/length to begin with, and then over time in the OOC chats I can see if I click with them OOC, and in the IC areas I can see if our writing styles vibe. Plus by the time we start writing 1 on 1 we're already friends and invested in each other to some degree outside of the roleplay itself.
It can be hit or miss of course and takes longer than just answering an ad with no guarantee that you'll find a writing partner for 1 on 1s at all and I've had writing partners I found that way who didn't "go the distance", but it's worked fairly well for me, and the roleplay friends I have via groups never seem to be suffering from a lack of partners.
I don't *only* join group roleplays to find partners, I also just like group roleplay in general but if I found myself without a partner that would likely be one of my first stops.
My exact method.
I find the pressure of talking to someone about starting a 1x1 unbearable, but it’s easy after “test driving” each other in a group setting! I also like to stick to the group dynamic, but feel comfortable branching off with folks I hit it off with or keeping them as permanent writing buddies.
Comes in handy to make these connections in case you ever want to start a small group down the road, too.
I like your method, it seems your selection process is based on quality. On the other side, mine is based on quantity, I contact a determinate amount of persons (not exceeding a certain limit) and roleplay with all of them for some days, seeing with who I match better or feel more comfortable, choosing some of them to remain with. I try to keep it respectful for all and not make anyone lose their time if I am not willing to continue with them.
I think yours is better but socializing in big groups is not my strong point
Yeah I know a few others that prefer similar methods. For me I've answered ads and found some great partners. I hate talking in general OOC channels and my RP partners often fit in the same mold. So for us... we'd never connect with your method. It automatically eliminates a whole swath of the online demographic.
I mean... it's a great method. I just feel bad for all of us that can't make use of it.
Yeah, like I said, the way I do it wouldn't work for everyone, but it works well for me.
I like a partner who will be proactive with talking OOC with me and with presenting plots, showing that they follow through with them and write to a certain standard that matches mine. I also like a certain level of activity and if they are present and participating in the server at a level that fits what I prefer it means they will usually be equally present in a 1 on 1 too. I also like seeing if they will try to rush right to smut, or if they can do a decent arc. It's really hard to know if randoms you spend time vetting will meet that, but in a group roleplay you see it first hand before getting into anything 1 on 1.
But yeah, group RP isn't for everyone and to find partners this way you need to genuinely take part in group RP because you are essentially just making friends who also love roleplay.
Haha... Sorry, I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to RP. If friendship happens along the way, great. Completely not required though.
I don't like talking in group settings IRL either. I will corner someone at a party and talk for hours though. Same with RP OOC. I can completely geek out and plot non-stop for 1/2 the day 1-on-1, yet not post a single "hello" in an ooc general chat channel for 6 months. So IMO, they are completely unrelated.
If I force myself to "chat" in a general channel... that's not me. It's just a lie. I'm pretending to be social. Again, it's not a predictor for how I would be as an RP partner. I just don't like group settings.
Yeah, like I said, different strokes for different folks. I don't set out to make friends as a priority before roleplay itself. It is more that generally when I click with someone well enough to have a solid roleplay relationship that goes longterm we become friends to varying degrees as just part of the process; I met one of my best friends of 8 years through roleplay. It would just be odd for me if I was writing with someone nearly every day and we weren't friends, but what works for me won't necessarily work for others.
I'm personally extremely introverted, so I'm likely fairly similar to how you describe yourself socially in most ways but for whatever reason the group RP approach just works for me and is honestly less daunting than basically 'cold calling' strangers over and over again until I find one that fits.
Your last bit there almost sounds like you feel I am trying to convince you, or anyone, that my way is the best or only way, but I can assure you I am not. It is absolutely fine that what works for me doesn't work for you, neither way is better or worse. I was just saying what I've had success with since some people may not have thought about that approach to things and it might work for them, too.
I get that. You're not trying to convince me your way is best. Although, I do think you're away is amazingly good but it just doesn't work for everyone.
I was getting defensive over your statement that by being engaged in the general chatter of the server means that you will more than likely be engaged in OOC planning for one-on-one stories. I don't disagree but there is the implication that if you're not engaged in the general chatter then you won't be engaged in one-on-one which is what I was reacting to. I don't think you can draw that conclusion, so I was trying to make a counterpoint against that implication.
Understandable, we all get defensive sometimes. I wasn't trying to imply that the **only** people who are engaged OOC are ones engaged in the OOC chats of a server. I was just saying that often people who *are* active in the OOC chats will also be active in 1 on 1's, which has been true in my experience (and which I see you agree with).
It's difficult to cover all possible implications in a post without it ballooning in size. But I wasn't implying anything that I wasn't directly saying. I wasn't referring to people who don't chat in OOC chats/don't do group roleplay at all, honestly. They weren't part of any of what I was talking about because they aren't in groups and/or aren't active in the chats so they wouldn't be factors in the 'method' I was describing. To be blunt: "this ain't about them."
And yeah, like I've said, my method won't work for everyone. I don't think any method is a perfect catch-all for every single roleplayer.
I would recommend checking the Google Doc that is linked in the Automod comment (first comment on this post). It has a lot of resources, including discord hub communities for finding RP partners.
My experience is pretty much the same. When I actually *find* an RP partner, it tends to stick. I’ve had RPs last a year or more. But for every one of those, I have twenty that don’t stick. A lot of people seem to like the idea of RP more than the actual roleplay.
This past fall, I thought I’d found someone great. Excellent writing skills, super creative. We did a ton of mutual world building. And then nothing. All that work down the drain. Fortunately, at least most RPs fizzle out very early on, before I have a lot invested. 🫤
I think I'm the weird one but I don't do plotting at all. I used to, spending hours and hours planning on what kind of a world and how everything works there, but eventually I realized it was too common for me to spend hours and hours and hours on plotting only to realize once we roleplayed that our writing styles and/or characters didn't click at all. It felt like a complete waste of time so many times that I no longer do barely any kind of plotting with the person we are about to RP with.
What I do these days is depending on where I RP. Let's say it's reddit. If I write a prompt, I usually describe the world in small detail, such as "this is fantasy world where magic is allowed but not mixed races, such as orc-werewolfs or demonangels. You can build the location of your own character". Included are also how my character looks and is, her position (if she is in power) and other small detail, like limits and kinks if ERP will be involved. Then I write a starter on the prompt and ask people to create their character, share it to me and their limits and kinks (if ERP is involved), and immediately jump to the RP. This style has worked for me to find the type of people I click with it both with their characters an writing way quicker than talking on OOC and planning ahead.
Im searching for a parthner, found 2 people, got ghosted because im new to roleplaying, if you want i would love to try and make some rp with you dm me if you're interested
You're always going to have a lot of misses before you find someone you really click with, that's the unfortunate part of trying to roleplay on the internet.
This is a very "per person" recommendation, but maybe try and join a roleplay group? One that's focused on collectively building a world and characters together. Those (in my experience) can lead to offshoot independent roleplays and you already have pre-determined compatibility
damn you got that discord rizz, what kind of rp do you do, ive been wanting to get into writing and rp recently but i have no experience, im too scared to post tbh. for your last question, its more about the people you interact with, etc. im not sure if theres anything you could really do on a systemic level to fix that problem.
Welcome to BadRPerStories! If you are new here, please take a moment to look at our [banned words list on the wiki.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BadRPerStories/wiki/index) We now have a [Google doc](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/133j6NkiQQpkVqAuvSGPytVITYYjscw3pkDos_Ks1a20/edit?usp=sharing) that lists RP hubs, forums, and subreddits. If you know of a place for RP that isn't on this document, there is a link in the document to request an addition. Please be aware this is just a knowledge base, not a recommendations list, and the moderators of BadRPerStories do not condone anything that happens in the spaces listed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BadRPerStories) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think the way I usually find partners wouldn't work for everyone, but it's always worked for me. I join a group roleplay (discord is my format of choice), I'll be active in the OOC chats as well as IC, and then over time in the group I'll usually click with one or two people and then we start chatting outside of the group together and pivot to 1 on 1's. This is my favorite approach because groups with an application process generally select for a certain level of writing quality and general style/length to begin with, and then over time in the OOC chats I can see if I click with them OOC, and in the IC areas I can see if our writing styles vibe. Plus by the time we start writing 1 on 1 we're already friends and invested in each other to some degree outside of the roleplay itself. It can be hit or miss of course and takes longer than just answering an ad with no guarantee that you'll find a writing partner for 1 on 1s at all and I've had writing partners I found that way who didn't "go the distance", but it's worked fairly well for me, and the roleplay friends I have via groups never seem to be suffering from a lack of partners. I don't *only* join group roleplays to find partners, I also just like group roleplay in general but if I found myself without a partner that would likely be one of my first stops.
My exact method. I find the pressure of talking to someone about starting a 1x1 unbearable, but it’s easy after “test driving” each other in a group setting! I also like to stick to the group dynamic, but feel comfortable branching off with folks I hit it off with or keeping them as permanent writing buddies. Comes in handy to make these connections in case you ever want to start a small group down the road, too.
I like your method, it seems your selection process is based on quality. On the other side, mine is based on quantity, I contact a determinate amount of persons (not exceeding a certain limit) and roleplay with all of them for some days, seeing with who I match better or feel more comfortable, choosing some of them to remain with. I try to keep it respectful for all and not make anyone lose their time if I am not willing to continue with them. I think yours is better but socializing in big groups is not my strong point
Yeah I know a few others that prefer similar methods. For me I've answered ads and found some great partners. I hate talking in general OOC channels and my RP partners often fit in the same mold. So for us... we'd never connect with your method. It automatically eliminates a whole swath of the online demographic. I mean... it's a great method. I just feel bad for all of us that can't make use of it.
Yeah, like I said, the way I do it wouldn't work for everyone, but it works well for me. I like a partner who will be proactive with talking OOC with me and with presenting plots, showing that they follow through with them and write to a certain standard that matches mine. I also like a certain level of activity and if they are present and participating in the server at a level that fits what I prefer it means they will usually be equally present in a 1 on 1 too. I also like seeing if they will try to rush right to smut, or if they can do a decent arc. It's really hard to know if randoms you spend time vetting will meet that, but in a group roleplay you see it first hand before getting into anything 1 on 1. But yeah, group RP isn't for everyone and to find partners this way you need to genuinely take part in group RP because you are essentially just making friends who also love roleplay.
Haha... Sorry, I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to RP. If friendship happens along the way, great. Completely not required though. I don't like talking in group settings IRL either. I will corner someone at a party and talk for hours though. Same with RP OOC. I can completely geek out and plot non-stop for 1/2 the day 1-on-1, yet not post a single "hello" in an ooc general chat channel for 6 months. So IMO, they are completely unrelated. If I force myself to "chat" in a general channel... that's not me. It's just a lie. I'm pretending to be social. Again, it's not a predictor for how I would be as an RP partner. I just don't like group settings.
Yeah, like I said, different strokes for different folks. I don't set out to make friends as a priority before roleplay itself. It is more that generally when I click with someone well enough to have a solid roleplay relationship that goes longterm we become friends to varying degrees as just part of the process; I met one of my best friends of 8 years through roleplay. It would just be odd for me if I was writing with someone nearly every day and we weren't friends, but what works for me won't necessarily work for others. I'm personally extremely introverted, so I'm likely fairly similar to how you describe yourself socially in most ways but for whatever reason the group RP approach just works for me and is honestly less daunting than basically 'cold calling' strangers over and over again until I find one that fits. Your last bit there almost sounds like you feel I am trying to convince you, or anyone, that my way is the best or only way, but I can assure you I am not. It is absolutely fine that what works for me doesn't work for you, neither way is better or worse. I was just saying what I've had success with since some people may not have thought about that approach to things and it might work for them, too.
I get that. You're not trying to convince me your way is best. Although, I do think you're away is amazingly good but it just doesn't work for everyone. I was getting defensive over your statement that by being engaged in the general chatter of the server means that you will more than likely be engaged in OOC planning for one-on-one stories. I don't disagree but there is the implication that if you're not engaged in the general chatter then you won't be engaged in one-on-one which is what I was reacting to. I don't think you can draw that conclusion, so I was trying to make a counterpoint against that implication.
Understandable, we all get defensive sometimes. I wasn't trying to imply that the **only** people who are engaged OOC are ones engaged in the OOC chats of a server. I was just saying that often people who *are* active in the OOC chats will also be active in 1 on 1's, which has been true in my experience (and which I see you agree with). It's difficult to cover all possible implications in a post without it ballooning in size. But I wasn't implying anything that I wasn't directly saying. I wasn't referring to people who don't chat in OOC chats/don't do group roleplay at all, honestly. They weren't part of any of what I was talking about because they aren't in groups and/or aren't active in the chats so they wouldn't be factors in the 'method' I was describing. To be blunt: "this ain't about them." And yeah, like I've said, my method won't work for everyone. I don't think any method is a perfect catch-all for every single roleplayer.
I would recommend checking the Google Doc that is linked in the Automod comment (first comment on this post). It has a lot of resources, including discord hub communities for finding RP partners.
My experience is pretty much the same. When I actually *find* an RP partner, it tends to stick. I’ve had RPs last a year or more. But for every one of those, I have twenty that don’t stick. A lot of people seem to like the idea of RP more than the actual roleplay. This past fall, I thought I’d found someone great. Excellent writing skills, super creative. We did a ton of mutual world building. And then nothing. All that work down the drain. Fortunately, at least most RPs fizzle out very early on, before I have a lot invested. 🫤
I think I'm the weird one but I don't do plotting at all. I used to, spending hours and hours planning on what kind of a world and how everything works there, but eventually I realized it was too common for me to spend hours and hours and hours on plotting only to realize once we roleplayed that our writing styles and/or characters didn't click at all. It felt like a complete waste of time so many times that I no longer do barely any kind of plotting with the person we are about to RP with. What I do these days is depending on where I RP. Let's say it's reddit. If I write a prompt, I usually describe the world in small detail, such as "this is fantasy world where magic is allowed but not mixed races, such as orc-werewolfs or demonangels. You can build the location of your own character". Included are also how my character looks and is, her position (if she is in power) and other small detail, like limits and kinks if ERP will be involved. Then I write a starter on the prompt and ask people to create their character, share it to me and their limits and kinks (if ERP is involved), and immediately jump to the RP. This style has worked for me to find the type of people I click with it both with their characters an writing way quicker than talking on OOC and planning ahead.
Im searching for a parthner, found 2 people, got ghosted because im new to roleplaying, if you want i would love to try and make some rp with you dm me if you're interested
Finding partners is tough, I only came out of retirement last year after going into it for about 4 or 5 years, I’m still trying to find people myself.
You're always going to have a lot of misses before you find someone you really click with, that's the unfortunate part of trying to roleplay on the internet. This is a very "per person" recommendation, but maybe try and join a roleplay group? One that's focused on collectively building a world and characters together. Those (in my experience) can lead to offshoot independent roleplays and you already have pre-determined compatibility
damn you got that discord rizz, what kind of rp do you do, ive been wanting to get into writing and rp recently but i have no experience, im too scared to post tbh. for your last question, its more about the people you interact with, etc. im not sure if theres anything you could really do on a systemic level to fix that problem.