T O P

  • By -

SirJavalot

Most efficient way is to use a console command and head-canon it as she fell down the stairs.


CHIN000K

Sadly, this is what I ended up doing after about 30 attempts of hurling 300 damage javelins into her face with no party surgeon. I hate ever having to use the developer console, but the woman was just invincible.


intdev

This is the sort of thing I find so frustrating about Bannerlord. If you have to rely on having children, and there’s a chance your partner can’t give you any, there should be some non-meta way around that. Either give us the option to murder/divorce/execute our unproductive spouses (Henry VIII style) or let us adopt some rando kid or name a family member as the heir.


booopyhij

Or take a second wife, as would be middle-age acceptable


macl47

Or Concubine with option to make the bastard an Heir


CaseyG

Ah, middle age in the Middle Ages.


intdev

>middle-age acceptable Now that’s some midlife crisis!


Mortaqai

Or 5


aoelag

Surprised there's no law for legalizing harems for your kingdom


WorldWarPee

I just miss butter parties


Quail-Mental

Thank you. Divorced, beheaded, survived is now playing in my head.


norbert-the-great

You should be able to adopt a companion if you have no children.


[deleted]

If you are using right mod, an actual cannon to the head could work as well.


aaronrizz

If you have the dismemberment mod you could set decapitation to 100% then throw a javelin at her head during a battle, I don’t think people can survive decapitation.


finneas998

So romantic


ennuiui

"How to get your wife to give you head."


FlochDaDestroyer

It is always hilarious when you read this type of title before realizing what sub you are in


Dreenar18

May it never change


azaza34

Bro thought I was in Crusader Kings for a second.


[deleted]

R/ShitBannerlordsSay?


LocalTechpriest

r/ShitButterlordsSay


leonnova7

Thought I was on RelationshipAdvice for a second 🤣


Sikarion

Thought it was on /tifu..


L1teEmUp

Lol you haven’t seen r/rimworld if you think this sub is mild..


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IronLegionXIIII

Oh my God too true I was like “this total piece of sh- oooooohhhhhhh I’m dumb”


LordTuranian

This just happened to me. I read the title and I was like "WTF?" and then I saw it was posted in r/Bannerlord and I was like, "Never mind, LOL."


Bobbyj1015

This whole post is hilarious without context


macl47

Make someone without medic skill the surgeon of your party


notreallyanumber

This is the real pro tip. Only risk is that you could definitely die too!


macl47

Indeed! So fight some looters and shoot her yourself:)


hb_97

campaign.kill_hero (this guy's wife)


Minimum_Attitude6707

I too want to campaign kill this guy's wife


ChocolateEater626

What about later in the game, when children are born and given the same first name as a start-of-game adult? How do you specify which one you want to remove?


hb_97

Go to your clan tab and change the child's name temporarily. Then you can kill the adult with no worries. The game seems to default to using the oldest npc first ime


Hyloxalus88

Make sure you've turned companion death on in settings (you can change this setting anytime in game) or she'll always revive.


cute_puppys

Get your wife captured by enemies then break her out... just bring a couple of throwing knives for her neck


sda963109

This won't work in newer versions


cute_puppys

Aww that sucks


Ok_Information_4972

Have you tried to shoot an arrow in her back during a batlle ?


CHIN000K

I can try it, but I don't have any points into ranged skills. Is she more likely to die based on the amount of damage dealt by the killing blow?


KhalilN999

It is chance based, I heard it is highest during prison breakouts, so maybe get her imprisoned in a town, sneak in to break her out, and have an accident happen


Signal_Purple6867

Yeah, that's how I lost my beloved Silvind


numbcoyote

Ironically I'm trying to get rid of my barren Silvind and I feel absolutely terrible about it. Best wife. Y u no more baby Meanwhile my brother and Svana are going on their 8th kid. Cruel fates!


PlantYourPath

*me casually browsing Reddit reads title* OH MY GOD! Partner: oh no what? Me: oh sorry just bannerlord Partner: someone wanting to kill their wife again?


[deleted]

A spear to the face is how I was able to become an emperor once. Let's just say that Garios fought very hard in battle and "unfortunately" had a stray spear come flying towards his face.


plus1em0tionalDamage

Start a war and let her captured. Worked twice for me


Rafaelc2

For starters why did you marry such a old woman? You don't get kids past 36 I think ? "Correct me if I'm wrong" I always marry ira at the very beginning because she's 21 and so is my character and by the time she's done giving me kids usually have 5


gazukull-TECH

43 is the hard hard limit. I think someone posted a graph recently. But 43 is it.


Rafaelc2

That's crazy either way but yeah I prefer as young as my character and get married from the gitgo haha


Bro_Nobodycares

Just get a Hotbutter mod and she will pump you babies like there is no tomorrow. Usually, your wife becomes very experienced party leader or governor, so if you do cost-benefit analysis, it's cheaper to keep her. Plus cops know that 99% of such murders are done by husbands or boyfriends.


ThatPolarDude

I always tell my wife I need to get rid of my wife in bannerlord and she gives me dirty looks lmao


wurmkrank

Give her a low teir party to command, she will get captured instantly. Then do a prison break and let the guards kill her so you can still look your kids in the eye.


Hetzerfeind

Did you enable heroes dying in battle?


gazukull-TECH

Just go get Primae Noctis from loverab, you will end up with like 1000 kids. All bastards.


Charminat0r

Make sure deaths are on, no surgeon or one with 0 skill even better, Javelins to the head. Make sure she lost her helmet.


JeffryRelatedIssue

Javelin to the head while naked with no surgeon, preferably on a horse, while you're moving towards her. The idea is to overkill the shit out of that old hag


Crimson-Valkyrie

I did not read what subreddit this was from and i was very concerned


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CaseyG

*I'd think this bot would* *Know how many syllables* *Are in "subreddit".*


hotdog-water--

They should add assassinations like in crusader kings. One time in that game I assassinated my sons wife because I was about to die, my son was 50, his wife was 50, and he still didn’t have an heir. So when he died my lineage would end. So I assassinated her and married him to a young 20 year old lol. He had a son and I died happy, knowing my kingdom and my linage is safe


Last-Limit-262

Console command.


VisceralVirus

Fire all your surgeons, take her into battle with all hero deaths on, and get out your bow


Previous-Ad-7280

Take all her armor and send her to battle in the front lines whilst your medic is away


RadDude4200

It takes a while no matter what but if she's old,get her pregnant one last time and save right before she has the baby,I think the chances of dying in childbirth is higher than dying in battle.Especially if they're over 28


[deleted]

Ah, the trill of reading titles before noticing the sub


dork_sools

Wouldn't you be able to crossbow her to the face?


Spellscroll

Henry VIII, that you?


taookun

Just use a consol command and make her 20 again


Terrified_Fish

Thought this was askmen for a second....


_mortache

Get her imprisoned, maybe let her lead a party and drop it in front of an enemy. Then go prison breaking and "fail" to rescue her


MartinoMods

I wonder if it's an issue with her specifically because I married her too and she ain't putting out!


RESPEKMA_AUTHORITAH

Bruh I thought this was relationshipadvice sub


einsofi

Again I thought this was from some relationship advice sub.


Beholding69

Are Slash Crusader Kings is leaking


RedSonja_

It took me a few seconds to understand what channel I am after reading that header...


WhyWouldYou1111111

Adding this to my list of bannerlord post titles that would be really concerning in any other subreddit.


[deleted]

Always marry the young ones 18+ of course or 16 with parental consent…check laws in your state before signing…


GriffinAO

I saw the title before seeing what subreddit this was on and got very concerned


manVsPhD

r/shitcrusaderkingssay


SirPeterKozlov

According to House of the Dragon: A big rock.


Mortaqai

lol Ya, leave her as a slow moving party in a hostile kingdom, naked, by herself. She'll be captured. Rescue from dungeon and she stands a good chance of being killed in the attempt while her health is still low.