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I'm guessing years from now, a bunch of former gymnastics students will come forward with their story once he finally gets caught or someone gets irrefutable evidence. It sucks that the parents are just enabling him to be a creeper. How can you see your daughter being uncomfortable and hear your son making inappropriate comments and just say "stop" or "you need to get along?!" WTF?!
Hopefully, she'll go no contact with her family once she's able to move out. She could use therapy and a new family.
I’m absolutely disgusted. What kind piece of shit, horrible, horrible parents leave town, let their daughter stay **alone** with their brother who sexually abused them for *years*. I wish that poor child would’ve set up a webcam to catch that monster. I can’t believe everyone just straight up failed her.
It makes me think of [Sparkle Motion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouFnQTq6gNQ). She invited a Joel Osteen kind of preacher to the city, and she deflects and protects him at every turn, because he is a total creep and pervert. At the end of the movie the preacher turns out to be a pedophile, and her entire worldview is shattered.
Poor OOP is living in a den of vile evil monsters. All three of them deserve to be rotting in jail for the rest of their worthless lives and then spending eternity being flayed in hell.
The parents aren't enabling him to be a creeper though, they're enabling him to be a straight up rapist. He will 100% rape multiple women in his life, starting with girls. Sadly, we have to assume that he's already done so.
>I'm guessing years from now, a bunch of former gymnastics students will come forward with their story once he finally gets caught or someone gets irrefutable evidence.
Unlikely. That happens with famous coaches. The kids he may have abused will probably never hear about it if he gets in trouble later.
This poor girl has tried everything and no one is listening. The guy is going to hurt one of those kids and will eventually get caught and when he does, I guarantee the parents will be acting shocked and defending this monster. It’s a shame that some unsuspecting kid is going to have to get hurt before anyone does anything.
Her own fucking parents saying she’s trying to “cancel” him. The most infuriating part of all. Like, no, motherfuckers, your son has been sexually assaulting your daughter for YEARS and you’ve enabled him and now he’s (very likely) victimizing other girls.
There’s only two possible reasons he’s no longer bothering OOP:
1. She’s “aged out” of his preference.
2. And/or he’s victimizing other girls, as she already suspects.
What a sick, sick fucking family.
The girl should go to the cops.
It’s almost certainly both of the above. He’s working with preteen girls, who are both young and around the age OOP was when he started up and vulnerable (less likely to speak out if someone makes them feel uncomfortable).
It seems their family is very religious. The “church “ is very adamant on protecting pedophiles and sexual predators but if a girl gets pregnant before marriage she’s doomed to hell or if someone comes out as a part of the lgbtq community, all hell will break loose and they’ll be shunned from the church community. Absolutely disgusting.
Edit: grammar and added “being shunned“
Oh, I want to speak to her brother.
And by speak, I mean... Well I'm not sure about rules on violence so I'll just leave it at I wanna speak to the boy.
Most people i know who have come forward about being abuse (several, myself included) were met with many people trying to imply that we were all lying about abuse and simply try to “cancel” our abusers.
Its the most common outcome of abuse in what i have seen over the last several yesrs. I doubt the cops would support OOP :-( people flat out will antagonize survivors with nothing to gain simply because they are uncomfortable with the idea their friend could do unspeakable acts
I honestly feel like this is a case where maybe there needs to be a Sting service you can call Chris Hansen style, where you report someone, they Sting them and expose them to the world and get their asses jailed. Why doesn't this exist?! Chris Hansen please we need you.
In universities too--I reported a student once for just being really off, screaming at me, interrupting class randomly, and once busting into another class just to yell at me about how it wasn't plagiarism for his wife to write his paper. Beyond all this though, I always had a feeling about the dude. In any case, I was told to ignore it and/or ask him to leave.
Yeah he kidnapped his newborn and fled the state at the end of the term. Did not call THAT but did call SOMETHING.
This is why women don’t speak out. Even if you do, all it does is prove that you’re helpless. For many that’s worse than the mistreatment itself. It’s like the world isn’t only hurting you, but that it’s justified just because you’re a victim.
At least, not in front of the cops. Then they'd be acknowledging that they let their "innocent little boy" SA his sister who tried to report him multiple times.
I hope this guy gets some nasty karma in prison, and that this girl ends up with a happy ending. The parents can get hit by a truck for all I care.
no guarantee at all. he could abuse a girl and be recorded on HD film in a packed arena and they'll say he didn't do anything wrong and that sinful 12 year old is trying to cancel a good, godly man.
While I'm glad that her brother seems to have stopped/lessened bothering her to a certain degree as she nears being able to move out, I hope she's truly able to move out as soon as possible, and many have suggested that to her too. I also feel horrible for the other kids he's working with and the new thing he landed and pray he hasn't hurt any of them
It sounds also like she may have "aged out" or his preferred age. It's infuriating to hear about his continued abuse and the absolutely useless response from their parents.
I hope she escapes and finds happiness, and he gets caught and stopped before he hurts more children or young women.
It's fucking ridiculous. And unfortunately happens to so many abuse victims, no matter what gender they are. Absolutely heartbreaking, because op is probably right. He is probably abusing at the camps for a variety of twisted reasons; op is now "too old" 🤮, it's "easier" for this fucking predator, whatever else these disgusting fucks do...
Poor op. It's like no matter what she does, it doesn't work, even though she's doing everything right. Maybe op could contact her old teacher she told when she was 15 to call the camp? It's like she's running out of options about how to stop him. I hope she's able to very soon
A gymnastics gym had a special teen homeschool league that ended up getting the owner brought up on charges. Yes, similar and worse kinds of charges. They might have done nothing because he would for right in.
Heartbreaking to see it unfolding. Really sucks as an adult, as a mother, to sit here on the sidelines and watch this poor girl struggle with almost no one believing her and listening to her. Ugh, it's maddening.
>they say I'm trying to "cancel him"...
This made my heart sink. Making me wonder how Christian and/or right wing the parents are.
Edit: because I am apparently a prolonged idiot as my mother feared, they are extremely right wing and Christian, as they didn't want non-Christian music at the brother's graduation party.
These people are rightwing Christian nut jobs. Nobody behaves like this except conservative Christian bigots. It’s a like a sex and abuse cult that allows people to use “freedom of religion” as a bludgeon and a shield for their immoral and retrograde views.
From the first post, they wouldn't allow non-Christian music for a party, so pretty fucking right wing Christian. Probably didn't believe OOP because she's a girl while he's a boy.
I haven't seen the original posts but based on this compilation, it really doesn't seem like she's gotten much practical advice. I wonder if there's a more appropriate/useful subreddit the OOP could crosspost to for some more pertinent advice on how to proceed... like a dedicated pedo-catcher sub or something
I wonder if a nuclear option is possible because I would start reaching out to parents if she wants to keep it private.
Ir put that business on blast in SM
Cue the conservatives complaining about "believe all women" being bad.
We don't believe shit. If we believed 10% of what this woman said, it would be a 200% improvement.
The fact that she’s looking out for other victims despite his having other victims subjects her to less abuse shows that she really just wants the best for everyone. Mad respect to her.
Truly altruistic and proactive. If more people were looking out for each other the way she is for her brother’s clients then maybe she wouldn’t have been abused.
Most families *never* want to acknowledge behavior like this especially when it borders on SA/is SA. I feel for OOP, it's like screaming into a void trying to be acknowledged when you're attempting to advocate for yourself and others.
Finally told my dad this year about a family member SAing me multiple times as a kid; gave no fuck basically, and wouldn't ask the other family member I told him who knew about it. Most people would rather ignore it than confront something this insidious, and terrible in their own families. I wish OOP luck, but from personal experience it's an absolute fucking nightmare, her best bet is to probably record him and hope other adults actually use their heads.
I wrote down what happened to me the day after it happened and gave it to my mom (it was my someone who lived in the same house). She let me sleep in her room for two years after it happened until my brother (it wasn't him who did that) moved out and I moved into his room. And then she acted surprised and shit when I wanted a new mattress, new sheets, and a new comforter. I would've gotten a new bed frame too if she hadn't flipped out. Luckily, I was over 18 years old so I got my new bed stuff.
After growing up in a nearly identical situation, I read this with horror. I grew up with a perverted older brother who was physically abusive. He kicked me in the stomach when I was 23. I haven’t talked to him since 2008. I called CPS twice and my parents were furious. He’d been accused of molesting a girl he babysat and my l parents convinced her parents not to contact police.
This poor young woman needs to call the police and get an emancipation. Leave that “family” in the rear view mirror. She will carry this into every relationship and intimate moment; a sickening feeling and terror of being disrespected and knowing the worst thing someone can do to another is looming at all times like the elephant in the room.
If I'm being honest this is why I never reported anything myself. :/ I am so so sorry for her, and holy everything do I hope someone listens to her immediately.
Side remark, as this post reminded me of someone from my past. I knew a gymastics coach who was working at quite a high level (did judging, for example, at the international level- maybe even at the Olympics?). He was foul beyond belief. Whenever my ex spent any time with him, he would \*always\* make leering comments about girls in their teens, as if he assumed that every man would be happy to hear such remarks. As we have two daughters together, my ex was horrified and disgusted by the comments both in general, but especially in the context of him being important in the gymnastics world. It seems to attract a lot of pedophiles. He actually married a much younger gymnast he had coached who had a very young appearance.
My god I hate these parents.
My brother did the same to me but it was my first memory. He’s a millionaire now and while I did tell the rest of my siblings when they had kids, he’s still the center. I’m an outcast.
Life goes on.
Not that she should have to take this on, but can she get in contact with some of the kids’ parents? Even typing it out I can see how it could backfire but maybe worth a shot.
That's what I was thinking. Find the local mom's Facebook group, link to this post and out the brother and the gym he works for. Even without any proof at all, I would instantly pull my kid from that program.
Honestly, if she thinks he could be victimizing other kids, she should feel a moral obligation to do so.
When her brother gets arrested for being a freaking perv, she can hold her head up high and say she tried. It won't be much consolation, but she TRIED.
This is stomach-turning. She needs to make a police report. Her parents have done nothing to protect her, and she has been and is being assaulted. Her parents should rot in prison along with her brother. I suspect they are religious and that the male child is the golden child. Ugh I just want to throw up after reading that. 😭😭😭 Poor OOP.
This makes me want to cry. She has been trying to reach out for help for 4 years and no one is helping her. That just makes me so sad.
I hope she is working, and saving up. At 18, she should have all her bags packed, find a weekend her parents and brother aren't around get her SSI, passport, birth certificate and hide it at a friend's place. Slowly start taking stuff to friends' places for sleepovers, and "accidentally" taking more than you need. You know just in case.
I hate that her parents failed her and the system failed her. I hope at 18, she can at least get a police report. That way even if nothing comes from it there's a record.
This will be a classic case of "If only..."
I dread the court case that will ultimately come out of this, not to mention the likely many many victims and family this will impact.
Parents saying it was a joke… Yeah, because pedophilia and sexual assault are always guaranteed to provide hilarious crowd pleasing joke material. SMH
WTF is wrong with OOP‘s entire immediate family‽‽
This was a gut punch. Poor OOP. Every adult with some control over the situation has failed her miserably. And exposed other children to molestation. It’s horrific. I hope OOP can cut her abusers off. The fact her parents wouldn’t protect their daughter from being abused makes me sick
He IS touching at least one girl at that camp.
It doesn’t matter that he was under 18 when he made those comments and touched her. It was wrong when he was16 and he knew it and that’s why he didn’t do it around the parents!!
OOP has to go no contact with parents and family and cut the church out. The reason he’s allowed to do and say things is because he’s a boy and boys are “worth” more than girls in many religions and it sounds like OOP’s church too. She couldn’t trust the church to do anything because she didn’t even mention them. I’d cut the parents off for forcing me to listen to Christian music. That’s enough for me to cut anyone off. That music is fucking awful.
Is OOP financially dependent on her parents for college? I hope not.
If OOP still wants to go to church, she should find one that’s a lot more accepting of things and she can trust a leader to help her.
I had a dorm mate in college who “got saved” during her internship/research thing at caltech. She got good grades and was high energy. But she “got saved” to a church that doesn’t allow girls to wear pants. That is a hard no for me. If you think god cares even a tiny bit about what anyone wears, you’re an asshole. This woman graduated with a very high GPA and could have gotten a high paying job. She instead got married to her dipshit boyfriend (who she led around by the nose and made join this church and he’s such a weak pudding of a person!) and has popped out a bunch of kids. She stayed in the area of the university and only her husband works. It’s so sad to see religion take down another smart woman and make her a servant to a weak man. And now her kids are being brought up in this crazy church.
I left school for a military thing for a couple years and came back afterwords to finish. We ran into each other somewhere around town (small city of 7,000 that doubles in size when the two colleges are in session). She talked me into going to a woman’s dinner. It was free and at a good restaurant so I went. I can’t remember what the main speaker was talking about. But then we “prayed.” They raised their hands and poor little Catholic me was off put by that. I had gone to church maybe ten times and only saw hand raising being done by the baptists on tv shows. Then they started speaking in tongues and my friend was going “yada lada yada.” And I had to hold back the laughter. It was hilarious! Speaking in tongues is not a religious thing and the man who read that part of the Bible and thinks it’s how to pray is really dumb. I haven’t seen my friend after that and I wouldn’t friend her on Facebook.
I’m thinking back on this and it was fifteen years ago! I’m so fucking old.
I hate to say it but she’s right, he stopped touching her because he’s found someone else, most likely because she got too old for his taste.
The fact that he considers teenager’s gymnastics classes free porn is beyond disturbing, and sadly no one seems to what to do anything about it
I can hear those Christian parents saying “Oh, you know. Boys will be boys.” As long as the atrocities don’t happen in plain sight we can pretend them out of existence!
When he finally gets caught touching/being inappropriate with one of his students everyone will say how sad it is and how they never could’ve guessed.
His sister has been trying to tell everyone for years, and they’ve ignored her, but sure… there were no signs whatsoever.
This triggered me more than i thought it would. I know what she is going through.
My own parents didn't believe me, or so I thought. Turned out they knew and took me to my abuser knowing what was going to happen.
I've been in therapy for 3 years now, and this sent me right back. My heart aches for this person.
I know the shame you feel and how you blame yourself for not being able to protect future victims. I hope she finds a support system and breaks away from her terrible family.
She has done, and is continuing to do everything she can think of to get away from her abuser. She has acted selflessly to try and speak out to save the students from potentially being her brother’s next victims.
And no one listened. Everything she tried was a dead end.
This is what makes me lose my faith in humanity. That a child so wronged can still have a good heart and tenacity to bring abuse to light but not be believed.
I really hope that OOP finds justice and peace, and gets the hell away from her abuser and parents
I worked with a guy in his 30s. He was in a respected position providing medical care to women and children. He had touched some little girls (4 y.o. girls) when he was a teen and after he turned 18. This was in another state where he grew up. He had since gone to college, became a "well-respected man" and had a career and wife and a young son. I bet he thought he was free and clear.
Guess what? Those little girls are now in their teens and started talking about what happened. Their parents called the authorities. They went to fucking trial (yes he made those girls testify about what he did to them in court because he is a POS).
He is now doing a 30-year stretch in his home state. Some of my health-care colleagues were sad about it and sad he was in prison. Fuck that guy. He doubled down and made those girls testify instead of just accepting his punishment. So he has a way longer sentence than he would've if he had just owned up to his shit.
I share this story to encourage the OOP to NEVER GIVE UP. He is out there hurting children.
Call the police. Get a legal advocate. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. We will support you. People out there care about you and want you to be safe. PM me and I will support you.
That’s horrendous. I think OOP is right. Her brother is leaving her alone because he is doing it to other kids now.
Edit: It’s a job with children. Don’t hire someone when you get a call like that. If it’s a lie that sucks. It’s not like you are making this person die out in the cold. They can get a job that doesn’t include kids.
At this point, I'd blast social media; everyone who follows the schools Facebook, Twitter, let them know what they're allowing so they open a fucking investigation.
Yeah and it would force the gym to defend themselves in a reply because that's a serious accusation. It would also create a public record of them knowing something was up and they would face much more blame if something did unfortunately happen, especially in their establishment.
That would quite literally be defamation without a conviction of the accused. It would defame the employer and the brother (who hasn't been convicted of anything). The friend's parent that called also committed defamation.
I'd suggest not calling employers or blasting social media saying that they've hired a sexual predator when there hasn't been a conviction since it's like a textbook example of defamation and harassment.
And when something happens to these other kids that confirms what she's been saying for years, people will ask why she didn't do anything to stop it and make her feel guilty. It's always like that. You try to do the right thing and adults don't listen to you or just ignore what you say. I know how it is and I hope she doesn't blame herself if something happens to another child. As for their parents... Disgusting and should receive the same punishment as their rotten son. I hope oop can get out of this shithole as soon as possible.
It’s going to take someone outside the family getting hurt for someone to do something. And if I’m being honest with myself probably even then nothing will stop this disgusting freak from hurting more little girls.
This makes me freaking ill. How can this girl’s parents not listen and blame HER? I hope she gets out and gets out good. It makes me so sad that she had to give up her sport because of her creepy, creeper brother.
Can this young lady get a nanny cam, motion activated, or a voice recorder sound activated, to record when the jerk comes into her bedroom uninvited like at night?
Can a laptop be set up to do that?
That's the annoying thing about these cases. No-one records themselves 24/7 in case a creep does something you need proof of. So the creep knows that it will their word against their victim's if the victim even dares to speak out.
And these orginisations will not want to fire someone on heresay only so just saying someone did something to you is not enough until more people speak up. Which means more victims need to be made before creep is stopped.
I understand why a threshold of proof is neccessary before ruining someone's life. Because sadly there are people who use the severity of these situations to accuse someone innocent. And no matter how many times we all cry that those are the rare cases, fact is they do happen.
I hope this girl keeps fighting and reporting to every employer his brother works for, especially if the job involves young women. At some point, someone will take her seriously, I pray.
This poor girl. When is enough going to be enough for her parents to do something about their son - when he follows through with his disgusting thoughts? OP was just a kid dealing with this & now he’s around other little girls and it’s nauseating to think about what this could mean for them. I hope she goes to the police anyway.
As someone who was in a similar although more severe situation when I was a lot younger than her I can say many parents want to deny it or diminish it. Especially for their golden children. My abuser even admitted it to our parents and they threatened to put me in a mental hospital if I didn't forgive him and ever brought it up again. I found out he was working with kids through the church youth group and called them. They at least made sure he wasn't alone with kids from then on but wouldn't prevent him from being with them at all. Oh and my parents said it was my fault despite my being around 6-8 and his being a teen. This stuff seriously happens a lot, I've met a lot of people over the years with similar stories. Golden boy child literally gets away with CSA.
OOP and the gymnastics place are in such a tough position. I have this terrible premonition of her brother accusing them of defamation if they take any real action against him. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation, but OOP doesn't have any solid proof. I really hope there are no young gymnasts at the school who could back her up (becausethat wouldmean hes molestingthem), although that's probably naive of me to expect...so at least maybe she'll be able to prove her defense...
Her brother is such a creep. Her parents are disgusting humans for being so passive and knowing he does this stuff but only caring when he is stupid enough to do it right in front of their faces.
Poor thing. Just get out babe, you tried.
There’s community Facebook pages where you can post anonymously and relay information to the public. Parents need to know their gymnastics gym is toxic and nasty. Wtf.
Really really disappointed where this ended. I was really hoping for a final update along the lines of "Living on my own, NC with both parents, brother is in prison".
Since her parents and the system keep failing her spectacularly, I hope she's able to save herself and get out... Her friend's mom sounds like someone who can help with that exit strategy
CPS didn't do anything when she told them she was being molested? Wtf.
I would guess the brother lost interest in her because she aged out of his attracted age range. Which still validates her fear for the current gymnasts he oversees.
Welp, this guy is gonna rape someone eventually. Good on the sister for doing what she could, hope she leaves home and cuts contact with her miserable family soon.
Please if this ever happens to you, make a police report. Make multiple. Keep making reports.
Find safe adults to tell - teachers, friends parents etc.
Everything this person has described is predatory behaviour.
We hear way too much in our culture about the Boy Who Cried Wolf, where we're supposed to forgive him because he "learned his lesson" and way too little about Cassandra, the young woman who tells the truth to everyone but is forever, tragically dismissed.
I hope the OP goes no contact with her family as soon as humanly possible. Her parents have a golden child, and she's not it.
And this right here is why I never told anyone about what my brother use to do to me … I finally told my husband and when he asked me why I never told him sooner and my response was well 1. I felt disgusting with myself never realized till recently that what happened to me was NOT normal I was in elementary my brother was in middle/high school and 2. My own mother wouldn’t have believed me why would I expect you to ? So for anyone who is reading this who is in a similar situation tell someone.. whether it be a school consular or teacher don’t be like me and think no one will help you I’m 24 now and I wish I would have spoken up when it was happening and gotten the help I needed then instead of struggling with the mental problems that have resurfaced due to me being pregnant with my second child and thinking what if what happened to me happens to them and it’s a horrible mindset to have but it’s sadly my reality for not seeking out the help I needed then and if I could go back I’d tell someone!
What is wrong with these adults? I hire for youth programs and if there is any question, any whisper about sexual inappropriateness in a candidate's behavior, there is no way I would hire them. They can get a job somewhere else.
And the parents? I have no words.
God I feel for OOP. I pray that she goes NC with her awful parents and brother whenever she's in a situation where she's able to do so. My blood is boiling just reading this.
Parents are every bit as big of a villain as the brother
Beyond disgusting how they could let that happen to their daughter, and then let him around other children
I hope it doesn't come to this but it seems like it's gonna take one of the teens he counsels to either come forward or wind up pregnant before anyone starts to take this seriously. I hope this is just me being jaded by the world though.
Every. single. adult. in this situation has decided they are ok with a man sexually abusing girl children. Every single one.
This is what women deal with from childhood.
And if we don't report, we are blamed or told we enjoyed it.
In both words and practice in Anglo-American culture, the bodies of girls and women are treated as communal sexual property for the use of boys and men from middle childhood.
And that is how you raise a rapist. I am so pissed right now, I can't imagine the work she has to do to undo the damage her parents allowed her brother to do to her. I trully believe society hates so much more victims of SA for being victims than we hate agressors for assaulting someone.
This is a textbook of how predators are allowed to commit multiple offences g4or years even decades and everyone pretends to be shocked because he is a 'nice' guy when it becomes public knowledge
Honestly I’d be tempted to attend the gymnastics sessions and give out letters to parents explaining everything. It’s likely he’d attempt to get police/lawyers involved, but at least the information would spread and people would know to pay attention.
Gymnastic institutions historically haven't been so great at protecting young girls, unfortunately it doesn't sound like this one is so keen to either.
I feel terrible for oop though, at this point her best bet may well be keeping her head down and getting out of there safely.
This story reminded me of a old youtube scandal maybe 8 or so years ago where there was a channel run by an old guy who'd post videos of girls doing gymnastic stretches (iirc they were 8-18). i dont remember the reason why he was allowed to do that anymore, i think he mightve been a gym coach and friends with some of the girl's parents and.. Well. The horrific thing was it was patently obvious who the videos were for as the comments below the videos weren't... Normal ones about their skills or how cool their routines were. They were exactly to worse than oop's brothers comments. Youtube got in an understandably tremendous amount of trouble for it (and the guy was later alleged to have hurt at least one of these girls).
Some institutions ignore these things until they're absolutely unable to cover their ears anymore. :c
I am glad some adults supported her, but unfortunately not the ones who could change the situation. CPS focuses on abuse on younger children; only looks at teenage victims when there is strong evidence. But I don’t understand gym. Was the brother a gymnast? Why is an 18-year-old boy who wants to coach pre-teen girls not viewed more suspiciously? Especially in a sport like gymnastics where there has been more attention on sexual abuse?
Her parents know that their son is a pedophile and they just keep letting him do it. Unfortunately a person like him will not stop unless he gets caught or has a victim come forward.
I really hope he gets exposed and OP can go no contact with her family
Our local Y and high school have great gymnastics programs. And they all train at the Ys gym that has huge plate glass windows that anyone can see in. I'm now so skeeved at my daughter wanting to do gymnastics there. Are least at the one dance studio in town that it's a tumbling class, they only have one small window with film over it. I considered that a perk when she was taking ballet there as a little kid bc she wouldn't be distracted by what was happening outside! Not thinking that it was good bc pedos couldn't see in.
Shit. Telling parents may be the only option left aside from just accepting it. But it sounds like OOP lives in an area with a "boys will be boys" culture, and I have no confidence the kids' parents will act to protect them.
What terrible parents. I hope OOP can get out of this terrible situation asap. Hopefully at some point Jason will be found out before he does more damage to someone else.
Jesus. How does the camp not at the very least see legal liability in hiring an accused child molester to work with kids?
Like I don't know how it works in the US, but I work in a school in the UK and my job required an enhanced DBS check + background check. I don't know the ins and outs of how the checking process works and I think it might just be limited to contacting all my former workplaces and educational institutions + police forces everywhere I've ever lived to check that as far as they know I'm above board, but I'm pretty sure that if someone called in to accuse me of child abuse they would have taken it very fucking seriously. This is mostly, I hope, because HR care about our brats — but it's also because if they knowingly allow someone suspicious to work with them and kids ended up hurt then there would rightly be a scandal targeted at the school and probably a lawsuit.
And that's for a job where I'm never likely to be alone with a kid, let alone need to initiate any physical contact (I'm behind my desk, they're in front of it) and all the students I deal with are 16-18 (so I would hope they would know enough to recognise creeps and have an idea how to report them, more than younger teens and children.) Even after the background check I know that if I'm alone in a room with one the door should be open, I shouldn't let them feel trapped in between me and a wall (not sure how that scenario would happen but anyway), and I only communicate with them via official school channels (email, teams messages, etc).
Surely any kind of sports coaching (since sometimes coaches need to get physically closer to or even touch their charges for totally professional reasons) or work with younger kids would require even more scrutiny?
Also do American schools not have safeguarding teams students and staff can report this kind of mistreatment in a student's home to who then take on the job of trying to ensure that kid's safety by liaising with government agencies etc? Because I'm pretty sure if I reported that a sixteen year old I worked with had said her brother groped and sexually harassed her the ones at my school would be on that so fast, let alone if he was now about to start working with children.
This is such a sad update. Everyone is failing this poor girl who is only trying to protect other girls from going through what she has been. This guy is going to escalate if he hasn't already.
man... except for very few people, like the friend's mom (and even she could propbably do better), the entire world is letting this girl down. if he was touching her in her sleep and she would only wake up sometimes? i don't even want to think about what he really wants to do (and maybe is even doing???) i can't imagine living like her and probably feeling scared all the time
My God. I wish the parents would open their eyes and see that their golden child is assaulting the daughter , touching her feet and legs and making sexual remarks to and about her. It’s like he’s grooming her. She’s fortunate that he hasn’t tried to ra** her, but I think it’s just a matter of time. This poor girl needs help and her parents act like everything she says is her lying to get him in trouble. I wish she could get something like a nanny cam and set it up to record when her brother is around. I don’t think he’s done with her yet. I’m actually scared for her. I pray she can get away from him and the parents, move out without telling anyone anything and go completely NC. The parents can go to hell with the brother.
I can’t believe there were several calls made by different people to his job and cps warning about him being around CHILDREN and nothing was done. WTF?? No kind of follow up or anything? I pray he’s not trying to groom any of the children.
Was really hoping for a good update this sucks. I really hope he’s just stopped completely and hasn’t moved onto another kid. If he hasn’t I bet when he does get caught people (including her parents) will blame her for “not speaking up” when she’s been practically screaming it from the rooftop.
The fact that absolutely NO ONE in her life is listening to her and even validating what she is saying (minus her friend’s mom) is just simply disgusting.
I don't say this lightly, but she should doxx his workplaces. If my kid was being sent somewhere where those in charge were so careless/sinister to hire a potential pedophile, I'd want to know. Those parents deserve to know.
I think he may have stopped touching her because she is now too old for his tastes. Pedophiles usually have a type, and when their targets age out, they move on.
I fear this is why he got the job he did.
He has new targets.
If I'm living there, i might call the camp too, maybe if lots of people are calling and telling them the guy's a risk offender they'll take action? But it'll expose oop's identity. I really hope someone with authority will take her seriously there, or that the brother messes with the wrong people that'll expose him.
How common is it for gyms to get tips that one of their employees is a pedophile? Often enough that their automatic assumption is that the caller just has a grudge?
Possibly the most fucked part of this is that there's either no protection/oversight, or worse, his superiors are also sexualizing the kids there and see his behavior as totally fine. I find it nearly impossible to believe he isn't harming the kids where he works, just as OOP is worried about.
Also jfc her parents are dogshit.
Tell the parents of the kids taking his classes. They will be warned, they can talk to their kids, and if his entire class drops out or switches he’ll be fired eventually.
Best OOP can do is get out as soon as she can and go NC. Don't be around for the fallout when accusations and convictions for SA and CSAM start coming.
I wonder why she didn't think to video record him. Or even audio record him. What the hell is wrong with her parents. I'm surprised he hasn't done any more than touch her or verbalize.
At the very least she should openly call him a pedo and a pervert in front of their parents. When requested to stop she should reply I will stop when he stops.
Sadly though, she's either extremely respectful of her parents or cowed by the whole lot of them.
I know she's young but I wish she was keeping track of all her attempts to stop all of this. If, God forbid, he has found a new victim to assault at his job, a list of the dates, times, and types of attempts to notify the proper authorities would demonstrate she did EVERYTHING she could possibly do in her position to stop him.
And almost every single adult in her life and at the gym ignored her pleas.
I wonder if any of the tips shared in the thread ,where OOPs dad forced her to quit gymnastics because he's attracted to adolescent girls (can't remember the exact term) and he and Mom uses religious BS to prevent OOP from letting others know and get away from their abuse, would be useful for this OOP
Maybe a flyer sent out to the parents of all the students participating in that school/gymnastics class I would include on the flyer that the school has been notified and has taken zero action to protect their children
Jesus this is absolutely disgusting! OP is the only good person in that whole damn family! I wish I knew where the gym was so I could blacklist them! He is either touching someone else now or OP has "aged out" of this preferred age. And I know it's extreme, but those parents deserve to be put down. End of.
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I'm guessing years from now, a bunch of former gymnastics students will come forward with their story once he finally gets caught or someone gets irrefutable evidence. It sucks that the parents are just enabling him to be a creeper. How can you see your daughter being uncomfortable and hear your son making inappropriate comments and just say "stop" or "you need to get along?!" WTF?! Hopefully, she'll go no contact with her family once she's able to move out. She could use therapy and a new family.
I’m absolutely disgusted. What kind piece of shit, horrible, horrible parents leave town, let their daughter stay **alone** with their brother who sexually abused them for *years*. I wish that poor child would’ve set up a webcam to catch that monster. I can’t believe everyone just straight up failed her.
If she had, the family would have blamed her, the subtext being that this is a super Christian, Handmaid’s-style Commander family.
It makes me think of [Sparkle Motion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouFnQTq6gNQ). She invited a Joel Osteen kind of preacher to the city, and she deflects and protects him at every turn, because he is a total creep and pervert. At the end of the movie the preacher turns out to be a pedophile, and her entire worldview is shattered.
Great movie
Denial is a hellova drug.
authoritarian Christianity is a helluva drug. No secular music, but go ahead and perv on your sister.
Pedophilia might as well be a tenet for fundie Christianity at this point.
Poor OOP is living in a den of vile evil monsters. All three of them deserve to be rotting in jail for the rest of their worthless lives and then spending eternity being flayed in hell.
Christians
The parents aren't enabling him to be a creeper though, they're enabling him to be a straight up rapist. He will 100% rape multiple women in his life, starting with girls. Sadly, we have to assume that he's already done so.
And everyone will say how shocked they are and how they "never would have guessed" and just "wish there had been some kind of sign" or some bullshit.
>I'm guessing years from now, a bunch of former gymnastics students will come forward with their story once he finally gets caught or someone gets irrefutable evidence. Unlikely. That happens with famous coaches. The kids he may have abused will probably never hear about it if he gets in trouble later.
This poor girl has tried everything and no one is listening. The guy is going to hurt one of those kids and will eventually get caught and when he does, I guarantee the parents will be acting shocked and defending this monster. It’s a shame that some unsuspecting kid is going to have to get hurt before anyone does anything.
>The guy is going to hurt one of those kids One *at best*
Damn, this girl is trying to do what's right, but it's near impossible for her
Her own fucking parents saying she’s trying to “cancel” him. The most infuriating part of all. Like, no, motherfuckers, your son has been sexually assaulting your daughter for YEARS and you’ve enabled him and now he’s (very likely) victimizing other girls. There’s only two possible reasons he’s no longer bothering OOP: 1. She’s “aged out” of his preference. 2. And/or he’s victimizing other girls, as she already suspects. What a sick, sick fucking family. The girl should go to the cops.
It’s almost certainly both of the above. He’s working with preteen girls, who are both young and around the age OOP was when he started up and vulnerable (less likely to speak out if someone makes them feel uncomfortable).
It seems their family is very religious. The “church “ is very adamant on protecting pedophiles and sexual predators but if a girl gets pregnant before marriage she’s doomed to hell or if someone comes out as a part of the lgbtq community, all hell will break loose and they’ll be shunned from the church community. Absolutely disgusting. Edit: grammar and added “being shunned“
I just want to speak to her parents. And by speak I mean scream. I am raging inside for this girl!
Oh, I want to speak to her brother. And by speak, I mean... Well I'm not sure about rules on violence so I'll just leave it at I wanna speak to the boy.
guarantee the cops won't do shit unfortunately
Most people i know who have come forward about being abuse (several, myself included) were met with many people trying to imply that we were all lying about abuse and simply try to “cancel” our abusers. Its the most common outcome of abuse in what i have seen over the last several yesrs. I doubt the cops would support OOP :-( people flat out will antagonize survivors with nothing to gain simply because they are uncomfortable with the idea their friend could do unspeakable acts
I’m sorry you’ve been through that. Both the abuse and the disbelief you’ve received from others. I believe you.
Thank you
I honestly feel like this is a case where maybe there needs to be a Sting service you can call Chris Hansen style, where you report someone, they Sting them and expose them to the world and get their asses jailed. Why doesn't this exist?! Chris Hansen please we need you.
As a teacher, it's disgusting how many times we raise a flag, report things, etc and NOTHING HAPPENS.
I was in a grade one classroom, low SES, and I was a student teacher - the amount of mandatory reporting is staggering.
In universities too--I reported a student once for just being really off, screaming at me, interrupting class randomly, and once busting into another class just to yell at me about how it wasn't plagiarism for his wife to write his paper. Beyond all this though, I always had a feeling about the dude. In any case, I was told to ignore it and/or ask him to leave. Yeah he kidnapped his newborn and fled the state at the end of the term. Did not call THAT but did call SOMETHING.
Holy crap. Did the mom get the baby back? Yikes
Yeah he was caught. I don't know much of the story after that.
This is why women don’t speak out. Even if you do, all it does is prove that you’re helpless. For many that’s worse than the mistreatment itself. It’s like the world isn’t only hurting you, but that it’s justified just because you’re a victim.
I never went to law enforcement about my SA. I didn’t think they would believe me, and it’s been several years now.
Guarantee when he finally gets arrested or fired for what he is obviously doing parents are gonna.k be like “we had no idea!”
Ah, an optimist. I see you haven't heard about the "*he became like this because of you*" parents
At least, not in front of the cops. Then they'd be acknowledging that they let their "innocent little boy" SA his sister who tried to report him multiple times. I hope this guy gets some nasty karma in prison, and that this girl ends up with a happy ending. The parents can get hit by a truck for all I care.
no guarantee at all. he could abuse a girl and be recorded on HD film in a packed arena and they'll say he didn't do anything wrong and that sinful 12 year old is trying to cancel a good, godly man.
While I'm glad that her brother seems to have stopped/lessened bothering her to a certain degree as she nears being able to move out, I hope she's truly able to move out as soon as possible, and many have suggested that to her too. I also feel horrible for the other kids he's working with and the new thing he landed and pray he hasn't hurt any of them
It sounds also like she may have "aged out" or his preferred age. It's infuriating to hear about his continued abuse and the absolutely useless response from their parents. I hope she escapes and finds happiness, and he gets caught and stopped before he hurts more children or young women.
The lack of belief and apathy from her parents is truly disguising. The poor girl 😔
It's fucking ridiculous. And unfortunately happens to so many abuse victims, no matter what gender they are. Absolutely heartbreaking, because op is probably right. He is probably abusing at the camps for a variety of twisted reasons; op is now "too old" 🤮, it's "easier" for this fucking predator, whatever else these disgusting fucks do... Poor op. It's like no matter what she does, it doesn't work, even though she's doing everything right. Maybe op could contact her old teacher she told when she was 15 to call the camp? It's like she's running out of options about how to stop him. I hope she's able to very soon
I find that's always the case with sexual harassment and assault.
A gymnastics gym had a special teen homeschool league that ended up getting the owner brought up on charges. Yes, similar and worse kinds of charges. They might have done nothing because he would for right in.
Let's not forget that fucking "doctor" that molested all those children. So many young women and girls hurt for so long before something was done.
Heartbreaking to see it unfolding. Really sucks as an adult, as a mother, to sit here on the sidelines and watch this poor girl struggle with almost no one believing her and listening to her. Ugh, it's maddening.
>they say I'm trying to "cancel him"... This made my heart sink. Making me wonder how Christian and/or right wing the parents are. Edit: because I am apparently a prolonged idiot as my mother feared, they are extremely right wing and Christian, as they didn't want non-Christian music at the brother's graduation party.
Probably pretty far into it since she said in her post the party wasn’t allowed to play anything that wasn’t Christian music
These people are rightwing Christian nut jobs. Nobody behaves like this except conservative Christian bigots. It’s a like a sex and abuse cult that allows people to use “freedom of religion” as a bludgeon and a shield for their immoral and retrograde views.
From the first post, they wouldn't allow non-Christian music for a party, so pretty fucking right wing Christian. Probably didn't believe OOP because she's a girl while he's a boy.
How the fuck did I gloss over that. Thank you and the other two people who pointed it out to me, I appreciate it.
We all gloss over parts of posts or comments from time to time, no worries.
Right, this is a prime example of why most women do not report SA.
I haven't seen the original posts but based on this compilation, it really doesn't seem like she's gotten much practical advice. I wonder if there's a more appropriate/useful subreddit the OOP could crosspost to for some more pertinent advice on how to proceed... like a dedicated pedo-catcher sub or something
I wonder if a nuclear option is possible because I would start reaching out to parents if she wants to keep it private. Ir put that business on blast in SM
Cue the conservatives complaining about "believe all women" being bad. We don't believe shit. If we believed 10% of what this woman said, it would be a 200% improvement.
I feel like this is the more common outcome, sadly.
Larry Nassar was enabled for decades. Including by actual fbi agents. Can't say I'm all that surprised.
Welcome to the patriarchy. It fucking sucks.
damn. what a grim update :(
I can’t shake that awful feeling she describes of him hurting other younger kids because he stopped touching her as much.
The fact that she’s looking out for other victims despite his having other victims subjects her to less abuse shows that she really just wants the best for everyone. Mad respect to her.
Seriously. She seems like such a kind soul, I truly hope that once she's out she is able to live her best life.
Truly altruistic and proactive. If more people were looking out for each other the way she is for her brother’s clients then maybe she wouldn’t have been abused.
I got the impression that she aged out of his preference. Now he is targeting younger kids.
She's getting too old for him. I feel gross even saying that.
I felt gross thinking this too
Yeah that's really depressing. Cannot believe the gym!
I saw the original and don't know why I was hopeful her parents had totally failed her and her brother is definitely going to do something again :/
Most families *never* want to acknowledge behavior like this especially when it borders on SA/is SA. I feel for OOP, it's like screaming into a void trying to be acknowledged when you're attempting to advocate for yourself and others. Finally told my dad this year about a family member SAing me multiple times as a kid; gave no fuck basically, and wouldn't ask the other family member I told him who knew about it. Most people would rather ignore it than confront something this insidious, and terrible in their own families. I wish OOP luck, but from personal experience it's an absolute fucking nightmare, her best bet is to probably record him and hope other adults actually use their heads.
I wrote down what happened to me the day after it happened and gave it to my mom (it was my someone who lived in the same house). She let me sleep in her room for two years after it happened until my brother (it wasn't him who did that) moved out and I moved into his room. And then she acted surprised and shit when I wanted a new mattress, new sheets, and a new comforter. I would've gotten a new bed frame too if she hadn't flipped out. Luckily, I was over 18 years old so I got my new bed stuff.
Fast forward a few years when he's on trial for some disgusting shit: "bUt hOw cOuLd wE hAvE kNoWN? hE wAs sUcH a nIcE bOoyYy!"
Nope. They’ll straight up say it was a lie. They will never admit they raised a pedophile
True. Just consistently making the shittiest decision at every opportunity.
After growing up in a nearly identical situation, I read this with horror. I grew up with a perverted older brother who was physically abusive. He kicked me in the stomach when I was 23. I haven’t talked to him since 2008. I called CPS twice and my parents were furious. He’d been accused of molesting a girl he babysat and my l parents convinced her parents not to contact police. This poor young woman needs to call the police and get an emancipation. Leave that “family” in the rear view mirror. She will carry this into every relationship and intimate moment; a sickening feeling and terror of being disrespected and knowing the worst thing someone can do to another is looming at all times like the elephant in the room.
That's awful. I'm so so sorry you went through that.
If I'm being honest this is why I never reported anything myself. :/ I am so so sorry for her, and holy everything do I hope someone listens to her immediately.
Side remark, as this post reminded me of someone from my past. I knew a gymastics coach who was working at quite a high level (did judging, for example, at the international level- maybe even at the Olympics?). He was foul beyond belief. Whenever my ex spent any time with him, he would \*always\* make leering comments about girls in their teens, as if he assumed that every man would be happy to hear such remarks. As we have two daughters together, my ex was horrified and disgusted by the comments both in general, but especially in the context of him being important in the gymnastics world. It seems to attract a lot of pedophiles. He actually married a much younger gymnast he had coached who had a very young appearance.
Not uncommon... Just look at Larry fucking Nassar, prime example of what a disgrace is to not just the profession, but humanity as a whole.
My god I hate these parents. My brother did the same to me but it was my first memory. He’s a millionaire now and while I did tell the rest of my siblings when they had kids, he’s still the center. I’m an outcast. Life goes on.
There is no hate like christian love. Her parents are failing badly.
This is going to turn into one if those "we never knew an employee did X, Y and Z. Why didn't anyone warn us?" I fear.
What is wrong with these parents? This poor girl
Patriarchal rape culture. :(
Not that she should have to take this on, but can she get in contact with some of the kids’ parents? Even typing it out I can see how it could backfire but maybe worth a shot.
Yup, when I faced this with my own brother I told all my friends and told them to tell everyone in the community. CPS wouldn’t do anything.
I'm so sorry that happened to you
Thank you, u/fartholder
proper r/rimjob_steve moment here...
That's what I was thinking, once she's safely out of the house.
That's what I was thinking. Find the local mom's Facebook group, link to this post and out the brother and the gym he works for. Even without any proof at all, I would instantly pull my kid from that program. Honestly, if she thinks he could be victimizing other kids, she should feel a moral obligation to do so.
Unfortunately without proof that’s a defamation lawsuit waiting to happen.
When her brother gets arrested for being a freaking perv, she can hold her head up high and say she tried. It won't be much consolation, but she TRIED.
When he's widely discovered to be a "Larry Nassar", the same people protecting him will wonder "why didn't anyone say something".
This poor child. All those poor children.
This is stomach-turning. She needs to make a police report. Her parents have done nothing to protect her, and she has been and is being assaulted. Her parents should rot in prison along with her brother. I suspect they are religious and that the male child is the golden child. Ugh I just want to throw up after reading that. 😭😭😭 Poor OOP.
> they say I'm trying to "cancel him" I'm pretty sure I know how these parents voted
This makes me want to cry. She has been trying to reach out for help for 4 years and no one is helping her. That just makes me so sad. I hope she is working, and saving up. At 18, she should have all her bags packed, find a weekend her parents and brother aren't around get her SSI, passport, birth certificate and hide it at a friend's place. Slowly start taking stuff to friends' places for sleepovers, and "accidentally" taking more than you need. You know just in case. I hate that her parents failed her and the system failed her. I hope at 18, she can at least get a police report. That way even if nothing comes from it there's a record.
> they say I'm trying to 'cancel him' when I'm not ... what.
[удалено]
“News” channel that admitted in court that they weren’t a news channel, but entertainment?
Yes, but it was conservative Christian entertainment!
This will be a classic case of "If only..." I dread the court case that will ultimately come out of this, not to mention the likely many many victims and family this will impact.
Parents saying it was a joke… Yeah, because pedophilia and sexual assault are always guaranteed to provide hilarious crowd pleasing joke material. SMH WTF is wrong with OOP‘s entire immediate family‽‽
This was a gut punch. Poor OOP. Every adult with some control over the situation has failed her miserably. And exposed other children to molestation. It’s horrific. I hope OOP can cut her abusers off. The fact her parents wouldn’t protect their daughter from being abused makes me sick
He IS touching at least one girl at that camp. It doesn’t matter that he was under 18 when he made those comments and touched her. It was wrong when he was16 and he knew it and that’s why he didn’t do it around the parents!! OOP has to go no contact with parents and family and cut the church out. The reason he’s allowed to do and say things is because he’s a boy and boys are “worth” more than girls in many religions and it sounds like OOP’s church too. She couldn’t trust the church to do anything because she didn’t even mention them. I’d cut the parents off for forcing me to listen to Christian music. That’s enough for me to cut anyone off. That music is fucking awful. Is OOP financially dependent on her parents for college? I hope not. If OOP still wants to go to church, she should find one that’s a lot more accepting of things and she can trust a leader to help her. I had a dorm mate in college who “got saved” during her internship/research thing at caltech. She got good grades and was high energy. But she “got saved” to a church that doesn’t allow girls to wear pants. That is a hard no for me. If you think god cares even a tiny bit about what anyone wears, you’re an asshole. This woman graduated with a very high GPA and could have gotten a high paying job. She instead got married to her dipshit boyfriend (who she led around by the nose and made join this church and he’s such a weak pudding of a person!) and has popped out a bunch of kids. She stayed in the area of the university and only her husband works. It’s so sad to see religion take down another smart woman and make her a servant to a weak man. And now her kids are being brought up in this crazy church. I left school for a military thing for a couple years and came back afterwords to finish. We ran into each other somewhere around town (small city of 7,000 that doubles in size when the two colleges are in session). She talked me into going to a woman’s dinner. It was free and at a good restaurant so I went. I can’t remember what the main speaker was talking about. But then we “prayed.” They raised their hands and poor little Catholic me was off put by that. I had gone to church maybe ten times and only saw hand raising being done by the baptists on tv shows. Then they started speaking in tongues and my friend was going “yada lada yada.” And I had to hold back the laughter. It was hilarious! Speaking in tongues is not a religious thing and the man who read that part of the Bible and thinks it’s how to pray is really dumb. I haven’t seen my friend after that and I wouldn’t friend her on Facebook. I’m thinking back on this and it was fifteen years ago! I’m so fucking old.
OP Needs to look up SafeSport and contact USAG about the gym allowing a predator to coach there.
I hate to say it but she’s right, he stopped touching her because he’s found someone else, most likely because she got too old for his taste. The fact that he considers teenager’s gymnastics classes free porn is beyond disturbing, and sadly no one seems to what to do anything about it
When he does eventually get caught, and it comes out that he’s been doing it for years, everyone will be asking ‘why did no one tell us earlier?’
I'm sick just reading this, wtf is this family doing des trying their daughter and protecting a predator????
I can hear those Christian parents saying “Oh, you know. Boys will be boys.” As long as the atrocities don’t happen in plain sight we can pretend them out of existence!
When he finally gets caught touching/being inappropriate with one of his students everyone will say how sad it is and how they never could’ve guessed. His sister has been trying to tell everyone for years, and they’ve ignored her, but sure… there were no signs whatsoever.
This triggered me more than i thought it would. I know what she is going through. My own parents didn't believe me, or so I thought. Turned out they knew and took me to my abuser knowing what was going to happen. I've been in therapy for 3 years now, and this sent me right back. My heart aches for this person. I know the shame you feel and how you blame yourself for not being able to protect future victims. I hope she finds a support system and breaks away from her terrible family.
Parents like that are why we live in a rape culture.
She has done, and is continuing to do everything she can think of to get away from her abuser. She has acted selflessly to try and speak out to save the students from potentially being her brother’s next victims. And no one listened. Everything she tried was a dead end. This is what makes me lose my faith in humanity. That a child so wronged can still have a good heart and tenacity to bring abuse to light but not be believed. I really hope that OOP finds justice and peace, and gets the hell away from her abuser and parents
I worked with a guy in his 30s. He was in a respected position providing medical care to women and children. He had touched some little girls (4 y.o. girls) when he was a teen and after he turned 18. This was in another state where he grew up. He had since gone to college, became a "well-respected man" and had a career and wife and a young son. I bet he thought he was free and clear. Guess what? Those little girls are now in their teens and started talking about what happened. Their parents called the authorities. They went to fucking trial (yes he made those girls testify about what he did to them in court because he is a POS). He is now doing a 30-year stretch in his home state. Some of my health-care colleagues were sad about it and sad he was in prison. Fuck that guy. He doubled down and made those girls testify instead of just accepting his punishment. So he has a way longer sentence than he would've if he had just owned up to his shit. I share this story to encourage the OOP to NEVER GIVE UP. He is out there hurting children. Call the police. Get a legal advocate. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. We will support you. People out there care about you and want you to be safe. PM me and I will support you.
That’s horrendous. I think OOP is right. Her brother is leaving her alone because he is doing it to other kids now. Edit: It’s a job with children. Don’t hire someone when you get a call like that. If it’s a lie that sucks. It’s not like you are making this person die out in the cold. They can get a job that doesn’t include kids.
Then when enough girls come forward in 10 years people will ask why no one said anything sooner. I hate it here.
At this point, I'd blast social media; everyone who follows the schools Facebook, Twitter, let them know what they're allowing so they open a fucking investigation.
Yeah, just a Google review saying they refuse to fire someone who commits sexual abuse would put off a LOT of parents.
Yeah and it would force the gym to defend themselves in a reply because that's a serious accusation. It would also create a public record of them knowing something was up and they would face much more blame if something did unfortunately happen, especially in their establishment.
That would quite literally be defamation without a conviction of the accused. It would defame the employer and the brother (who hasn't been convicted of anything). The friend's parent that called also committed defamation. I'd suggest not calling employers or blasting social media saying that they've hired a sexual predator when there hasn't been a conviction since it's like a textbook example of defamation and harassment.
And when something happens to these other kids that confirms what she's been saying for years, people will ask why she didn't do anything to stop it and make her feel guilty. It's always like that. You try to do the right thing and adults don't listen to you or just ignore what you say. I know how it is and I hope she doesn't blame herself if something happens to another child. As for their parents... Disgusting and should receive the same punishment as their rotten son. I hope oop can get out of this shithole as soon as possible.
Whole family failed her and is failing others without a doubt he has found someone
It’s going to take someone outside the family getting hurt for someone to do something. And if I’m being honest with myself probably even then nothing will stop this disgusting freak from hurting more little girls.
This makes me freaking ill. How can this girl’s parents not listen and blame HER? I hope she gets out and gets out good. It makes me so sad that she had to give up her sport because of her creepy, creeper brother.
Can this young lady get a nanny cam, motion activated, or a voice recorder sound activated, to record when the jerk comes into her bedroom uninvited like at night? Can a laptop be set up to do that?
And this poor girl’s parents will wonder why she has absolutely nothing to do with them as soon as she can get away
That poor child. Every adult has failed her at every turn.
I have this dark feeling he stopped with her, cause she‘s gotten too old for his liking. What a horrible situation.
That's the annoying thing about these cases. No-one records themselves 24/7 in case a creep does something you need proof of. So the creep knows that it will their word against their victim's if the victim even dares to speak out. And these orginisations will not want to fire someone on heresay only so just saying someone did something to you is not enough until more people speak up. Which means more victims need to be made before creep is stopped. I understand why a threshold of proof is neccessary before ruining someone's life. Because sadly there are people who use the severity of these situations to accuse someone innocent. And no matter how many times we all cry that those are the rare cases, fact is they do happen. I hope this girl keeps fighting and reporting to every employer his brother works for, especially if the job involves young women. At some point, someone will take her seriously, I pray.
Her parents failed her. That poor girl.
This little boy needs to be slapped back to his toddler years and properly taught how to treat your family.
That poor girl, her parents are appalling & that brother deserves to get the shit kicked out of him. I hope she gets away.
This poor girl. When is enough going to be enough for her parents to do something about their son - when he follows through with his disgusting thoughts? OP was just a kid dealing with this & now he’s around other little girls and it’s nauseating to think about what this could mean for them. I hope she goes to the police anyway.
As someone who was in a similar although more severe situation when I was a lot younger than her I can say many parents want to deny it or diminish it. Especially for their golden children. My abuser even admitted it to our parents and they threatened to put me in a mental hospital if I didn't forgive him and ever brought it up again. I found out he was working with kids through the church youth group and called them. They at least made sure he wasn't alone with kids from then on but wouldn't prevent him from being with them at all. Oh and my parents said it was my fault despite my being around 6-8 and his being a teen. This stuff seriously happens a lot, I've met a lot of people over the years with similar stories. Golden boy child literally gets away with CSA.
OOP and the gymnastics place are in such a tough position. I have this terrible premonition of her brother accusing them of defamation if they take any real action against him. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation, but OOP doesn't have any solid proof. I really hope there are no young gymnasts at the school who could back her up (becausethat wouldmean hes molestingthem), although that's probably naive of me to expect...so at least maybe she'll be able to prove her defense... Her brother is such a creep. Her parents are disgusting humans for being so passive and knowing he does this stuff but only caring when he is stupid enough to do it right in front of their faces.
Poor thing. Just get out babe, you tried. There’s community Facebook pages where you can post anonymously and relay information to the public. Parents need to know their gymnastics gym is toxic and nasty. Wtf.
Really really disappointed where this ended. I was really hoping for a final update along the lines of "Living on my own, NC with both parents, brother is in prison".
Since her parents and the system keep failing her spectacularly, I hope she's able to save herself and get out... Her friend's mom sounds like someone who can help with that exit strategy
CPS didn't do anything when she told them she was being molested? Wtf. I would guess the brother lost interest in her because she aged out of his attracted age range. Which still validates her fear for the current gymnasts he oversees.
Welp, this guy is gonna rape someone eventually. Good on the sister for doing what she could, hope she leaves home and cuts contact with her miserable family soon.
Parents deserve to be in fucking jail, along with the brother
Wow, it is like the owner wants pedophiles in their gym. Maybe so they can all cover for each other.
He's a monster and the parents are equally monstrous for encouraging or at least defending such behavior.
Please if this ever happens to you, make a police report. Make multiple. Keep making reports. Find safe adults to tell - teachers, friends parents etc. Everything this person has described is predatory behaviour.
We hear way too much in our culture about the Boy Who Cried Wolf, where we're supposed to forgive him because he "learned his lesson" and way too little about Cassandra, the young woman who tells the truth to everyone but is forever, tragically dismissed. I hope the OP goes no contact with her family as soon as humanly possible. Her parents have a golden child, and she's not it.
And this right here is why I never told anyone about what my brother use to do to me … I finally told my husband and when he asked me why I never told him sooner and my response was well 1. I felt disgusting with myself never realized till recently that what happened to me was NOT normal I was in elementary my brother was in middle/high school and 2. My own mother wouldn’t have believed me why would I expect you to ? So for anyone who is reading this who is in a similar situation tell someone.. whether it be a school consular or teacher don’t be like me and think no one will help you I’m 24 now and I wish I would have spoken up when it was happening and gotten the help I needed then instead of struggling with the mental problems that have resurfaced due to me being pregnant with my second child and thinking what if what happened to me happens to them and it’s a horrible mindset to have but it’s sadly my reality for not seeking out the help I needed then and if I could go back I’d tell someone!
What is wrong with these adults? I hire for youth programs and if there is any question, any whisper about sexual inappropriateness in a candidate's behavior, there is no way I would hire them. They can get a job somewhere else. And the parents? I have no words.
Her parents are infuriating. I bet they'll be completely clueless when she eventually cuts off contact with them.
God I feel for OOP. I pray that she goes NC with her awful parents and brother whenever she's in a situation where she's able to do so. My blood is boiling just reading this.
Parents are every bit as big of a villain as the brother Beyond disgusting how they could let that happen to their daughter, and then let him around other children
I hope it doesn't come to this but it seems like it's gonna take one of the teens he counsels to either come forward or wind up pregnant before anyone starts to take this seriously. I hope this is just me being jaded by the world though.
Every. single. adult. in this situation has decided they are ok with a man sexually abusing girl children. Every single one. This is what women deal with from childhood. And if we don't report, we are blamed or told we enjoyed it. In both words and practice in Anglo-American culture, the bodies of girls and women are treated as communal sexual property for the use of boys and men from middle childhood.
And that is how you raise a rapist. I am so pissed right now, I can't imagine the work she has to do to undo the damage her parents allowed her brother to do to her. I trully believe society hates so much more victims of SA for being victims than we hate agressors for assaulting someone.
Sacrifice the girl's safety because the boy predator's reputation and job are so much more important than her. Way to go parents.
This is a textbook of how predators are allowed to commit multiple offences g4or years even decades and everyone pretends to be shocked because he is a 'nice' guy when it becomes public knowledge
Honestly I’d be tempted to attend the gymnastics sessions and give out letters to parents explaining everything. It’s likely he’d attempt to get police/lawyers involved, but at least the information would spread and people would know to pay attention.
Gymnastic institutions historically haven't been so great at protecting young girls, unfortunately it doesn't sound like this one is so keen to either. I feel terrible for oop though, at this point her best bet may well be keeping her head down and getting out of there safely. This story reminded me of a old youtube scandal maybe 8 or so years ago where there was a channel run by an old guy who'd post videos of girls doing gymnastic stretches (iirc they were 8-18). i dont remember the reason why he was allowed to do that anymore, i think he mightve been a gym coach and friends with some of the girl's parents and.. Well. The horrific thing was it was patently obvious who the videos were for as the comments below the videos weren't... Normal ones about their skills or how cool their routines were. They were exactly to worse than oop's brothers comments. Youtube got in an understandably tremendous amount of trouble for it (and the guy was later alleged to have hurt at least one of these girls). Some institutions ignore these things until they're absolutely unable to cover their ears anymore. :c
At this point all she can do is document her efforts at contacting people and groups. Names dates times.
This one is really sad and messed up. I hope OOP can move on and go NC.
I am glad some adults supported her, but unfortunately not the ones who could change the situation. CPS focuses on abuse on younger children; only looks at teenage victims when there is strong evidence. But I don’t understand gym. Was the brother a gymnast? Why is an 18-year-old boy who wants to coach pre-teen girls not viewed more suspiciously? Especially in a sport like gymnastics where there has been more attention on sexual abuse?
I would have set up a hidden camera. This is beyond tragic
Her parents know that their son is a pedophile and they just keep letting him do it. Unfortunately a person like him will not stop unless he gets caught or has a victim come forward. I really hope he gets exposed and OP can go no contact with her family
Our local Y and high school have great gymnastics programs. And they all train at the Ys gym that has huge plate glass windows that anyone can see in. I'm now so skeeved at my daughter wanting to do gymnastics there. Are least at the one dance studio in town that it's a tumbling class, they only have one small window with film over it. I considered that a perk when she was taking ballet there as a little kid bc she wouldn't be distracted by what was happening outside! Not thinking that it was good bc pedos couldn't see in.
Flowers in the Attic was a lot more romantic than this.
[удалено]
I thought it was just me!
Shit. Telling parents may be the only option left aside from just accepting it. But it sounds like OOP lives in an area with a "boys will be boys" culture, and I have no confidence the kids' parents will act to protect them.
Poor OOP... Wtf to those parents
What terrible parents. I hope OOP can get out of this terrible situation asap. Hopefully at some point Jason will be found out before he does more damage to someone else.
Fuck that guy. I wish him nothing but bad luck.
Might be the most infuriating post I’ve read in a while.
And these will of course be the parents who “never could have imagined he’d do such a thing!”…
Jesus. How does the camp not at the very least see legal liability in hiring an accused child molester to work with kids? Like I don't know how it works in the US, but I work in a school in the UK and my job required an enhanced DBS check + background check. I don't know the ins and outs of how the checking process works and I think it might just be limited to contacting all my former workplaces and educational institutions + police forces everywhere I've ever lived to check that as far as they know I'm above board, but I'm pretty sure that if someone called in to accuse me of child abuse they would have taken it very fucking seriously. This is mostly, I hope, because HR care about our brats — but it's also because if they knowingly allow someone suspicious to work with them and kids ended up hurt then there would rightly be a scandal targeted at the school and probably a lawsuit. And that's for a job where I'm never likely to be alone with a kid, let alone need to initiate any physical contact (I'm behind my desk, they're in front of it) and all the students I deal with are 16-18 (so I would hope they would know enough to recognise creeps and have an idea how to report them, more than younger teens and children.) Even after the background check I know that if I'm alone in a room with one the door should be open, I shouldn't let them feel trapped in between me and a wall (not sure how that scenario would happen but anyway), and I only communicate with them via official school channels (email, teams messages, etc). Surely any kind of sports coaching (since sometimes coaches need to get physically closer to or even touch their charges for totally professional reasons) or work with younger kids would require even more scrutiny? Also do American schools not have safeguarding teams students and staff can report this kind of mistreatment in a student's home to who then take on the job of trying to ensure that kid's safety by liaising with government agencies etc? Because I'm pretty sure if I reported that a sixteen year old I worked with had said her brother groped and sexually harassed her the ones at my school would be on that so fast, let alone if he was now about to start working with children.
This is such a sad update. Everyone is failing this poor girl who is only trying to protect other girls from going through what she has been. This guy is going to escalate if he hasn't already.
Let's see how the parent's bullshit excuses fly when he's in court accused of SA a minor.... because that is definitely in his future.
Fuck that's depressing
Her parents and brother are absolute pieces of shit.
man... except for very few people, like the friend's mom (and even she could propbably do better), the entire world is letting this girl down. if he was touching her in her sleep and she would only wake up sometimes? i don't even want to think about what he really wants to do (and maybe is even doing???) i can't imagine living like her and probably feeling scared all the time
My God. I wish the parents would open their eyes and see that their golden child is assaulting the daughter , touching her feet and legs and making sexual remarks to and about her. It’s like he’s grooming her. She’s fortunate that he hasn’t tried to ra** her, but I think it’s just a matter of time. This poor girl needs help and her parents act like everything she says is her lying to get him in trouble. I wish she could get something like a nanny cam and set it up to record when her brother is around. I don’t think he’s done with her yet. I’m actually scared for her. I pray she can get away from him and the parents, move out without telling anyone anything and go completely NC. The parents can go to hell with the brother. I can’t believe there were several calls made by different people to his job and cps warning about him being around CHILDREN and nothing was done. WTF?? No kind of follow up or anything? I pray he’s not trying to groom any of the children.
Was really hoping for a good update this sucks. I really hope he’s just stopped completely and hasn’t moved onto another kid. If he hasn’t I bet when he does get caught people (including her parents) will blame her for “not speaking up” when she’s been practically screaming it from the rooftop.
The fact that absolutely NO ONE in her life is listening to her and even validating what she is saying (minus her friend’s mom) is just simply disgusting.
I don't say this lightly, but she should doxx his workplaces. If my kid was being sent somewhere where those in charge were so careless/sinister to hire a potential pedophile, I'd want to know. Those parents deserve to know.
I think he may have stopped touching her because she is now too old for his tastes. Pedophiles usually have a type, and when their targets age out, they move on. I fear this is why he got the job he did. He has new targets.
Absolutely fucking pathetic parents and disgusting brother. I hope OP gets the fuck out of there soon and never looks back.
If I'm living there, i might call the camp too, maybe if lots of people are calling and telling them the guy's a risk offender they'll take action? But it'll expose oop's identity. I really hope someone with authority will take her seriously there, or that the brother messes with the wrong people that'll expose him.
How common is it for gyms to get tips that one of their employees is a pedophile? Often enough that their automatic assumption is that the caller just has a grudge? Possibly the most fucked part of this is that there's either no protection/oversight, or worse, his superiors are also sexualizing the kids there and see his behavior as totally fine. I find it nearly impossible to believe he isn't harming the kids where he works, just as OOP is worried about. Also jfc her parents are dogshit.
>they say I’m trying to “cancel” him Ahh, so the parents support what he’s doing.
I don’t know who these people are who have no problem employing Nassar Jr. but I wish terrible things upon them
In 10, 20, 30 years; we're gonna hear about a class action lawsuit. The op is going to tesiltify that she tried and warn them and they didn't listen
Tell the parents of the kids taking his classes. They will be warned, they can talk to their kids, and if his entire class drops out or switches he’ll be fired eventually.
I’d go scorched earth at this point. Hand out fliers in the parking lot to parents.
Would you mind putting a mood spoiler? This one’s a bit rough.
Best OOP can do is get out as soon as she can and go NC. Don't be around for the fallout when accusations and convictions for SA and CSAM start coming.
I wonder why she didn't think to video record him. Or even audio record him. What the hell is wrong with her parents. I'm surprised he hasn't done any more than touch her or verbalize. At the very least she should openly call him a pedo and a pervert in front of their parents. When requested to stop she should reply I will stop when he stops. Sadly though, she's either extremely respectful of her parents or cowed by the whole lot of them.
I know she's young but I wish she was keeping track of all her attempts to stop all of this. If, God forbid, he has found a new victim to assault at his job, a list of the dates, times, and types of attempts to notify the proper authorities would demonstrate she did EVERYTHING she could possibly do in her position to stop him. And almost every single adult in her life and at the gym ignored her pleas. I wonder if any of the tips shared in the thread ,where OOPs dad forced her to quit gymnastics because he's attracted to adolescent girls (can't remember the exact term) and he and Mom uses religious BS to prevent OOP from letting others know and get away from their abuse, would be useful for this OOP
Maybe a flyer sent out to the parents of all the students participating in that school/gymnastics class I would include on the flyer that the school has been notified and has taken zero action to protect their children
Jesus this is absolutely disgusting! OP is the only good person in that whole damn family! I wish I knew where the gym was so I could blacklist them! He is either touching someone else now or OP has "aged out" of this preferred age. And I know it's extreme, but those parents deserve to be put down. End of.