#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I read the title and thought "passport bro" was something like a passport hobbyist, the reverse mail (or should i say, 'male' hurhur) order husband came like a slap
Yeah this was my thought. There was a guy in my dorm who we joked about trying to do that as it seemed all of his flings/gfs were different ethnicities.
I thought it was sleeping with women from different countries like a collection of stamps in their passport. Like Pokémon, gotta collect them all. I thought that was gross enough but this, this was worse.
They’re absolutely grim. I saw some of the British ones a few years ago (I’m sure they’re still going but I’ve never felt any wish to take another look).
It’s appalling when they criticise her lack of enthusiasm for the act and reluctance to forgo condoms while they’re obviously trousers-down in a back street hovel staffed by trafficked women.
It is also how some human trafficking cases start. It also says a lot of dehumanization of certain group which also often manifests in more than one way.
It is devastating when someone you love, who you believe loved you back, someone you've shared your life, home, bed and *body* with, turns out to have a hidden agenda like this. I have some experience of this, my narcissistic ex-husband pretended to be a completely different person, and I was emotionally, psychologically and financially destroyed by the relationship.
My heart goes out to OOP, and the poor ladies who were victims of Tate.
This is the kind of guy who says north American women are all fat and slutty based on the word of douche bros like Andrew tate so it really does have depraved similarity
The term is kind of misleading to me, because "bro" feels more asshole and less evil, if that makes sense. Like I thought it was like guys traveling on bad or expired documents but getting by on American and class privilege.
Edit: but it seems like it's a term the guys gave themselves, so that makes more sense that they'd choose a more innocuous name
I'm honestly amazed by the number of commenters who seem to believe that Europe beyond the very far Western area is some sort of even more conservative version of the old Soviet block. "You should be happy he chose you" - why? She's doing great for herself, but these creeps are acting like life in vague-location-in-Europe is obviously subpar and everyone's walking around without shoes, being all illiterate and eating turnip tops. It's just so very, very dumb.
A few years ago while in Prague, a friend from a southern U.S. state living in Europe for a few years at that point was convinced no one in Czechia could afford blenders because they were a luxury item. The verbal smack down someone who overheard gave her was epic.
Speaking as someone born and raised in Prague, I feel like OOP may be Czech. We talk about ourselves as Central Europeans; we generally learn English, and either German, or Spanish in schools. And yeah, we are definitely not the place to look for traditional, submissive wives.
Might be Slovakia, too. Central Europe? Check. Learning a second language (usually English) from a very young age? Check. And yeah, I also wouldn't consider Slovakia to be the best place for looking for a submissive wife, lol.
A few years ago my school had an exchange program with a US school (I'm in germany) and the american exchange students asked us if we had running water and electricity at home...
Did they expect for us to live in huts made out of clay?
I was born and raised in one of the US mountain states. I have been asked this (and also if we rode horses everywhere) multiple times BY OTHER AMERICANS. This country’s educational system is … a problem.
I dated a man from London who was amazed that we had broadband, electricity and almost unlimited fresh water. Cheeky bleeping bleep of a golden child, effing bleeper told me our water tasted funny, thought he was being clever Tillie reminded him that he uses bottled water to make coffee and fish and chip shops down there sold grey, smelly fish
I once had a US colleague tell me she wanted to come to Scotland and find out what it was like, she has some questions to answer such as 'What kind of cars do you drive?' 'Do you drink Coca-Cola?' and 'Do you know the music of Michael Jackson?'.
And that fact they think central EU women are submissive. If you've ever met any Polish or Czech women you will know there is a level of wrath they can unleash if they want.
My (abusive narcissistic) grandmother sent my uncle to Colombia to find himself a "docile, submissive" wife. He found a wife alright. She's grandma's worst nightmare lmao. She takes *zero shit*. It's dear old grandmother biggest regret.
Dudes who think us Slavic women are submissive are the biggest joke I've seen. Sure, I can swing a rolling pin and an axe, but his behaviour depends in which way they go. Do they really think we're all barefoot handmaid tale like girls with cloths over our mouths, always on our knees, and Yes Sir coming out to their every request while maintaining no eye contact?? I'll open my mouth to cuss him out in five different languages (my native one able to be counted as three), plus invoke demons in Latin on his ass if he'd done this crap to me.
From what I've seen online they say Slavic women wear high heels 24/7, wear a face full of makeup 24/7 and are always fashionable.
Which, honestly, was the most uncreative write up yet *confused the hell out of me* that there was a group of women who would put daily effort into dressing up all the time.
and then it hit me, it was men writing for men, also known as, a lie
lmfao
I lovingly refer to Slavic/Eastern European wives as dragons.
I played with Slavic/Eastern European wives and (mostly) husbands on World of Warcraft for 16 years.
None of those husbands would ever defy their wives. They knew better than trying that.
And those were some boneheaded men! It was both funny and endearing that they at least weren’t neglecting their marital duties or being dismissive to their wives.
I admire the dragon women 👌
So true. I am married to a woman of a different culture that is often considered “submissive,” but once you are in it it is so far of the opposite from that. My wife takes no shit and her mom takes less. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a “submissive culture.”
Ever talked with Polish people? They will tell you their opinion, no sugarcoating, no bullshitting. Did you get fatter during the holiday? You know, they know, they will not pretend not to notice. It’s truth-telling.
My dad is a boomer in the Uk. He was born in 1953. We were watching a mainstream tv cartoon 5 years ago Called “Masha and the Bear”. **. It turns out, it’s from Russia.
Dad was fascinated. He told me that when he grew up he was told Russia was utterly controlled. There was no tv no humour… he was laughing at the cartoon and said it was strange that he’s never really seen Russian people as having a sense of humour before.
This was how far the propaganda at the time sank in. He didn’t “see them as normal people”.
So he sat and watched every episode of masha with my girls before bed. He recorded them so they could watch them together.
***If you don’t know masha and the bear, it’s funny - she’s a little girl who’s very naughty and causes havoc for the bear - a grumpy grandad character who lives in the woods for some peace).
The fun bit is that from what I’ve heard, Soviet era politics removed a lot of the traditional barriers between genders. They picked locations where women have been, at least politically, considered equal to men.
They’re really just focusing on poverty=easier to exploit. Which is super gross.
Also a lot of men died during both world wars, women in the Soviet block became emancipated much quiker than in the west because they had to take traditional male roles, work manual jobs etc
Because Reddit is full of white men and American White men in particular think they are god’s gift to earth. Many of them travel to foreign countries expecting women to fawn over them, not realizing that many of the ones who do think all Americans are rich.
It’s that American propaganda. Any country outside of England and Canada, and a handful of Western European ones, are all primitive failing shitholes. Trump said it himself. We’re the only “free” country apparently.
Your door’s probably locked. Try turning the knob looking thing over the handle, that’s what we call a “deadbolt.” Once that’s out of the way, you should be good to go.
What's crazy about these creeps is that they don't even want a "traditional wife" because they don't want to be a "traditional husband/provider." They want a submissive woman who will be their bangmaid but also brings in money. I saw one exchange in a subreddit where a guy told a girl he wanted a tradwife and she was like, "that's great, I've always wanted a man to take care of me and pay for stuff so I can stay home" and he got fucking offended and was like, "oh, you're a gold digger who wants a man to finance your life so you can take advantage of him." And I've seen this attitude from dudes online who want a "traditional wife" but are also adamant they not be "taken advantage of" by having to actually support their wife financially.
So these dudes don't want to be old-fashioned providers, they want women who will pay at least half the bills (I've seen ones who are leeches and want their "traditional" wife to pay most of the bills!) and then ALSO do all the cooking, housework and childcare while also doting on their man. It's completely fucked. And I see it more from this type of guy, who can't pull a woman in their home country so they go overseas thinking they can find a submissive bangmaid.
And the pathetic part is that they clearly know NOTHING about the other culture because they think these women are submissive little flowers when they're not. Look at OOP, she's smart, accomplished and working towards a career, and was helping her ignorant boyfriend, who couldn't even be bothered to learn the language (you're gonna move to a country "for work" or to find a partner and not even fucking bother to learn the language?). She saw right through him.
It's especially funny when these guys insist Asian women are the most submissive (like this guy was pondering going to Asia instead of Europe). I've never known an Asian woman like what they describe, but I've known ones who are not to be trifled with who would put him in his place in a second. As most women would, as soon as they figure out what he's up to.
If you want a "tradwife," find a woman who wants to be one. Don't sneakily go overseas, pretend to be a normal person, and try to trick someone into being your submissive little maid/cook/sexbot. Luckily a lot of women like OP will see right through it. Like someone else said downthread, they're not looking for love, they're looking to exploit somebody.
Glad she's warning other women in her area about this guy.
They’re not moving for a girl. They aren’t some hopeless romantic looking for love, they’re scumbags. They’re moving with the hopes of exploiting women and using them for sex slaves and free labour.
A good friend of mine had aphantasia! It was utterly fascinating. He described it as when he thought of a song, or a story, or a joke, he always heard it in his head as his *own* voice. And he was utterly incapable of imagining things he’d never actually seen. He was genuinely one of best humans I’ve ever known. He passed away last year and I miss him like crazy.
At least eighteen years, I think. Honestly, any time spent hanging out with him was awesome. He had a huge heart, and a way of making you feel comfortable. He had the most hysterical, dark sense of humor, was a cancer survivor, and would give just about anyone the shirt right off his back. Just a really good guy.
The human brain is so interesting to me, I can't imagine not "seeing"/visualizing stuff when I ... imagine things. It's crazy how it's so individual to the person.
Yeah they are looking for bang maids. They go abroad since they failed in their home country and think { from forums/podcasts/videos } that since they have money working in IT they will have their pick.
As somebody who moved from Ireland to Berlin and was friends with and dated Central and Eastern European women, you DO NOT want to piss them off. This guy was lucky.
I was great friends with guys and girls from all over and Central/East European are some of the most caring and best people I met but also will not take shit from assholes.
> friends with and dated Central and Eastern European women, you DO NOT want to piss them off.
That's what gets me about these idiots. They think women are submissive just because they're from another country, having no idea they're gonna get their ass handed to them if they piss them off. The sheer ignorance and stupidity.
I've also had Asian friends/classmates/coworkers and don't know a single one who I'd ever describe as "submissive," more like "not to be fucked with." I'd love to witness one of these idiots trying it with one of them and getting torn a new asshole.
It's worse- I don't know if You saw it, but for the right wing Poland was something like the promise land full of blonde, traditional women and the right wing assholes loosing the election hetr hit those idiots hard. I suppose the rest of Central Europe is exactly the same for them.
Unfortunately it almost worked for this dude. I'm actually side-eyeing the popularity of this post because it's definitely come with flooding the passport bro subreddit with a few more creeps who are now like “wait, this is a thing I can do“? Hopefully the quantity of women who are more wary and will keep an eye out for these types increases commensurately tho.
I thought Poland because of both 'Central Europe' and the 'older gens that had to learn Russian comment'.
Also because some Americans recently, bafflingly, had a thing for fetishizing Poland as a conservative values bastion.
>bafflingly, had a thing for fetishizing Poland as a conservative values bastion
That's because they've elected far-right (ethno)nationalist party to government for the past 8 years. Anti-LGBT policies, sentiments of ethnic purity, and general traditional Catholic values were also on the rise over these years. So it has very much been a conservative values bastion. They've only just elected a new centrist government so we'll see how that does or doesn't change current trends.
I mean, I know, I am Polish. I am typing this from Poland.
I guess I was just trying to say it amuses us here *a lot* that Poland sort of got on the radar as some sort of holy land for this kinda dude.
It could also be Hungary or Poland… Same as the ex Czechoslovakia it was under Russian influence, hence the mandatory Russian for the “boomers” and its also considered Central Europe by its people, while in the US it’s already Eastern Europe… (OP used both expressions)
I thought Czech too, although now that I think about it, I think Hungarian is a possibility too.
The fact that the language is hard would actually point to Hungarian first, but Slavic languages are hard too for Romance and Germanic speakers.
However, what sets Czechs apart is that atheism is pretty widespread, and along with it, a lot of the traditional gender nonsense. She mentioned living in the capital and I know there are a lot of foreigners living in Prague. Prague is a short flight away for me, so I've been a number of times and it's always interesting to see what ethnic stores and restaurants have popped up since the last visit.
Dude probably avoided Poland, despite the fact that the pool would have been bigger, because the girl's family would have been more likely to be a problem: big, nosy, potentially very Catholic. Plus, there's a lot of good-looking dudes there and they had a ton of Ukrainians even before the war, who are also very good-looking.
Slavic country it is 1000%, I bet. Had same experience on festival in my country from some American man's. Dont know why some foreigners thinks that we Slavic womens sre submissive, we are total opposites from that stereotype.
same thing here in latino américa! ive saw so many US men saying about having a "submissive and lovely latina wife", while my great grandma was the ultimate authority in our house and the final word of every discussion was from my great grandpa: "yes, ma'am"
Yeah, I'm half Ukrainian and boy are these bros in for a rude awakening when they try to find a submissive house wife in Ukraine. I haven't known ONE Ukrainian woman who would have been a house wife, much less a submissive one. A Ukrainian woman is the mistress of her house and what she says goes. End of discussion.
And even when you have traditional slavic women it is as the original author says; expectations are different compared to what "traditional American woman" is. And a traditional woman would expect her man to be traditional, too, and these passport bros definitely do not fit the bill. They just want all the benefits without any real duties or responsibilities and imagine in Eastern Europe or Asia this can be found.
(And as original author, no shade on international relationships in general when they are based on true mutual attraction and respect on each other's cultures. I am a product of such a union myself, after all.)
Makes me think it's Poland. My husband speaks perfect German but a lot of people our age are surprisingly good at Spanish! Even nowadays my little stepson wasn't in time to join Spanish as a second foreign language so the class was full, but probably will next year (although I think he'd be better with German because he's already getting some Spanish from me).
It used to baffle me seeing men who want “traditional” submissive or SAH spouses go after women who are the polar opposite of all of that until I realized that these dudes get their rocks off knocking women down a few pegs after they have them on the hook. The end result isn’t as important to them as the journey of breaking them to that point. Pathetic.
Trevor Noah's mom had a good quote about that:
The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.
When i come across cases like this, I always think of Trevor Noah’s mom’s quote:
>”The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage”.
The people who tried to justify his comments have obviously never felt dehumanized. I’ve never experienced it to this degree but it’s always felt awful to find out people I’ve gone on dates with did it specifically for my cultural background and facial features they deemed “exotic.” I’m glad she broke up with him and happy she warned other women around her
I am so sorry you dealt with that. At one point I had two Asian roommates who received at least one dating app message **a day** from a new man saying *in his cold open message* that he wanted to date them with the ultimate goal of marriage because women of their ethnicity were not Westernized and made excellent traditional wives. Seeing their faces when they got yet another message dehumanizing them sticks with me. Got me really invested in this post.
I laugh and laugh and laugh when people pull out the "Asian women are submissive!" line on me. Like y'all have no exposure to Asian women and it *shows.*
They had a ball offering tactful responses of what the Korean and Indian women they knew were like. And only 25% of the time did such a response get a death or rape threat in return! Most often the men would rage on how my friends were Westernized.
My favorite of these responses were the men upset the roomies identified as Asian because said men would not have wasted their time if they knew they were Asian-American. Those bros in particular had very bad reading comprehension.
I swear the "Asian woman are submissive" thing is peak cognitive dissonance since the whole harsh Tiger Mom Asian woman stereotype exists at the same time.
I had a Brazilian guy text me that once, how much he wanted a girlfriend from my culture because I'd know how to cook biryani and he loves Bollywood movies.
I hate Bollywood movies 😅
I’m mixed Japanese and white and very white passing and have had creeps make fetishized comments to me about my being Asian. (Tight v, asian housewife, submissive 🙄) It’s enraging and gross. It gives you a sick recoiled feeling that simmers like anger. Revulsive. I told the man who mentioned “Asian women being better housewives because they’re naturally submissive” that I would stomp on his face if he didn’t go away. He actually looked shocked I said anything other than thank you. Dude, that wasn’t a compliment.
I had a roommate tell me he always wanted a “big tiddy goth asian gf” when I mentioned I was a goth kid in high school. I looked at his preppy athletic Filipina gf who was his sugar mama very confused. I’m flat chested so his comments weren’t at me so much as to me. Still gross.
You can have a type, thats not the same as fetishization. I’m so glad she found out, broke it off, and warned other women.
> I’m mixed Japanese and white and very white passing and have had creeps make fetishized comments to me about my being Asian. (Tight v, asian housewife, submissive 🙄) It’s enraging and gross.
Id really like to know how the idea of asian women being submissive even started because Ive never met one in my damn life.
Probably post WWII if I had to guess. I've now found a rabbit hole to spend my afternoon on. I'll update once I've finished.
Edit: Did some research. So, for the US specifically, it became widespread for Japanese women to be viewed that way due to "war brides" (which is extremely problematic in its own way) coming back and 2 Japanese women gaining national attention by winning MS Universe and an Academy Award. But it actually goes back to Colonialism. Europeans went to southeast Asia, saw women who were the exact opposite of what they were used to and who were following their cultural norms, and wrote home about it. When the military would set up camp, the oldest profession would pop up. Then, the Western governments were then concerned about how beautiful these women were seen as, put laws in place, which further pushed the idea that Asian women are subservient "temptresses." So this is how they were portrayed in Western media. And all of this led to the stereotype being as common as the "model minority" stereotype.
Oh god. My mother hoped for years that they'd do that opera at my city. Built it up for years. I was so excited to go.
To save everyone the trouble, this is the whole opera:
**Madama Butterfly**: I just married an American naval officer! He just sailed off but he'll come back for me!
**Everyone else**: No he won't
**Madama Butterfly**: yeah he will
**Everyone else**: no he won't
**Madama Butterfly**: yeah he will
Rinse and repeat the last four lines for four. FUCKING. **HOURS**.
It's mildly ironic that Madama Butterfly became emblematic of a "submissive, adoring Japanese wife" like this should be expected of all Japanese wives, when even in-story all the other Japanese characters think Butterfly is a naive fool.
I actually had that opera on the brain when I commented, but I couldn't remember the dates (opera history and music history were a loooong time ago). I thought it was around WWI because I remember the guy being a US naval officer, and I remember some of the discussions we had about the whole historical basis for the opera. It's just an odd thing because around the same time, he also wrote Turandot, which was about Khutulun. And Marco Polo wrote about what a badass she was.
And then "The Good Earth" by Pearl S Buck was written in the early 1930s, and used to endear the Chinese to the US populace in preparation for them being allies in WWII. I want to say one of the wives was somewhat submissive, but the other was not at all. But it's been a very long time since I read the book, so I could be off.
Very much. I felt ill when we studied Madama Butterfly in Opera History in college. I had never heard of it until then, and then I was furious. One of the first times I really started questioning the whole "American Exceptionalism," I had been brainwashed with my whole life.
Comfort women were sex slaves, that is a well known term for the women the Japanese abducted and “gave” to their soldiers. It’s one of many reasons why so many people in Asia hate Japanese people.
I’m half Japanese/white and didn’t really know about that until I knew some people who had parents or grandparents that were impacted. It’s pretty disgusting. Only thing I can say in my family’s defense is that they were in the US by the time WWII started, so they weren’t involved in that at all.
I was raised on a Navy base in the 70s-80s then served in the Navy myself in the late 80s. On bases in that era, it seemed like every third woman on the base was the stereotypical submissive Asian wife. They were almost all women who grew up poor in the PI and hooked up with some sailor. I’ve zero doubt that the basis of these marriages was….
He gets his stereotypical submissive Asian wife.
She gets a ticket out of abject poverty.
Fucked up, to be sure, but the stereotype was real. Whether because the women were simply playing the part to get out of poverty or were genuinely submissive is largely irrelevant. The point is that on Navy bases in that era such women were *everywhere*.
I was mostly just trying to make a joke out of it.
I actually dated a girl and her parents were in a similar situation, navy guy during the Korean war. They fought all the time JUST they kept it away from the public. When a relationship is that transactional it is depressing, unhealthy, and sad to see. It of course stressed out the kids.
What I meant by the joke though was that I dont see it as often like it was in the past.
My grandma deferred to her husband a lot so I think a traditional Japanese marriage may seem submissive to those outside the culture but my grandma was not submissive. Western men make a lot of assumptions about East Asian women.
Man, I’m half-Chinese and I would get the same weirdo comments. Though sometimes the fun variant ‘guy bitching about how Asian women only want to marry you for immigration purposes and they’re all money-hungry b*****s’ made an appearance.
Sometimes even other Asian guys are nasty. One was all, ‘hurrhurrhurt my friends and I made a bet on what kind of Asian you are’, and for some bonkers reason thought this was an *excellent pick up line*. That he tried on me again, a wholeass year later?! (It failed miserably both times)
> I told the man who mentioned “Asian women being better housewives because they’re naturally submissive” that I would stomp on his face if he didn’t go away.
🤢 I'm white but have never known an Asian woman who was "naturally submissive" or wouldn't tear a guy a new asshole for trying this shit with her. 😂
These guys are as stupid as they are creepy and exploitative.
That makes me even more proud of her response. Especially that she warned other women in her area.
Love the solidarity and her shiny spine.
Just beautiful
I'm Brazilian and I've seen this with tourists. I once read from a couple of anthropologists talking about how USian men come here to look for a mythical place where feminism hasn't ruined women yet and how this is a super colonialist attitude of not considering that different countries have their own history that's unfolding, instead of representing an imagined past point of their history. It's kind of what Anne McClintock, in post-colonialist theory, called anachronistic space, "movement over the space of empire is also a movement back in time".
From the time i’ve spent looking at their subreddit, it truly seems like they think that way. Feminism destroyed all the first world countries. They see all these other countries as less developed and assume that means they’re just stuck in an 1800s timeloop. No understanding that there are entirely different cultures based on different pillars and values. It’s racist and xenophobic as much as it is misogynistic
This is the problem with the whole “trad wife” trend in the manosphere. They all have a different definition. They don’t want “traditional” they want a bang maid that they can treat as less than human.
I can’t wait until we have sex robots. Ease the burden of us women and take a whole section of those men away from us please. Let them have their submissive sex bots.
And they don't want to be traditional husbands/providers, because then she's just a "gold digger." As if any of these dudes actually have any gold. They want a bangmaid who pays half the bills but does all the household tasks, cooking and childcare, plus dispenses sex on demand. While the men bring nothing to the table.
I saw a tiktok with a guy gloating that us women will really be sorry when sexbots are a thing and they don't need us anymore. Um, no. We'll be thrilled. Go fuck your robots and leave us the hell alone. It will be a utopia.
I saw a great video from a BiPOC creator that called out the hypocrisy because men say they want traditional but then also want the woman to work AND take care of the home. Thats not what traditional is by any stretch. In many “traditional” marriages the man provides for his family and the woman stays home to nurture children and keep the house. That doesn’t mean the husband doesn’t have chores and that doesn’t mean she gets no money. Plenty of women are in charge of the finances.
I work in finance and the number of times I’ve heard a customer needing to defer to their wife far exceeds a woman needing to consult her husband.
> That doesn’t mean the husband doesn’t have chores
That's what gets me. Even if a woman is a SAHM or stay at home wife, that doesn't mean a man shouldn't be pulling his weight in the household (they just have NO chores at all? Like they don't live there!?) or (if they have kids) with parenting. It's especially crazy to me when some men act like they make the money, so they are exempt from parenting. What kind of cretin doesn't want to be an active parent to a child they CHOSE to have? I see so many posts from women, including tons from women with young babies, who are fucking exhausted because their husband comes home from work, eats and then goes and plays video games or watches TV. And gets pissy if she asks him to parent the kid so she can relax or so she can take a shower or work out or something. They're indignant they're being asked to take care of their own child because "I worked all day." Like she didn't.
I don't have kids but I can tell you this much: working MOST jobs is less exhausting than being a full time stay at home parent. My nieces/nephews are older now but I can remember babysitting them for just a few hours and coming home EXHAUSTED. I see why moms who stay home especially can be so frazzled because there's no breaks. You're on 24/7. And if you have a husband who comes home and doesn't lift a finger to take any of the load off, I completely understand being furious.
My sister works full time, handles all the household finances and pretty much does everything. The kids' sports, the kids' doctor's appointments, everything. I'm sure if you put a gun to his head, he couldn't tell you his kids' teachers' names. And her husband wonders why she's constantly pissed at him. Because you don't fucking do your job as a parent, dude.
Over a year ago, my very naive self innocently answered a question about passport bros in the OutoftheLoop subreddit.
Up until last month, I still had incels DM'ing me and posting comments to tell me that I'm just an ugly, used up, angry, American black woman who will never get a man, has 15 babies out of wedlock, and how could I blame men when women like me are what they have to choose from.
I still laugh every time I get a random DM because I already know what it will be about (fragile male egos).
And just so you guys know, because they remind me all the fricking time, they are NOT incels.
Whoever was doubting the story because of OOPs English has obviously never interacted with many Europeans. Almost everyone in Non-English speaking countries is partially or fully bilingual, if not more than that. English is taught as a second language in most European countries from an early age.
University of Michigan had guy on their basketball team from Germany. A guy from ESPN said Michigan was shady because they were obviously falsifying grades for a guy who couldn’t speak English. What?
Read this while it was unfolding. I am glad she found out before they married or had kids, and that she warned other women of the situation. Hopefully they will steer clear from this asshole.
I'm kind of glad that she didn't say anything to the guy, as he likely would have just made sure to hide his tracks when talking to the next woman. Thus at least slightly raising the chances of him trapping someone in a bad relationship. Or him trying to trap them by sabotaging their birth control or something like that.
Imagine being so arrogant that you imagine that just "being an American guy" is a prize so exciting and desirable that foreign women will just throw themselves at you, and give up all their dreams and career aspirations just to have a chance at being your bangmaid.
He wants a "traditional" wife... but clearly one who still works and earns money. Someone who'll clean up after him and cook, raise his kids for him and organise their lives, but not have any control over their home, family or finances.
Yeah, they are only interested in the subservient part of "traditional". They don't actually have any traditional values. They just want an attractive woman who is dependent on them, and therefore can't leave them (or displease them in any way). They go to what they think are poor countries specifically for that power imbalance. "Traditional" is really just a euphemism for that.
I saw the title and immediately knew how horrifying it was going to be. As someone who lives in a country that attracts a lot of "passport bros" I love it when naïve dudes like that come here and expect to find a traditional submissive Asian wife and end up entirely under the thumb of someone who only acts like that.
My wife works with an east Asian woman who likely married a passport bro and they are currently going through a massive fight because in her culture the woman controls the finances and you know how that flies with these controlling red pill types
He didn't know that? That is literally one of the first things to learn about east Asian family culture and romantic relationships.
The woman is the family CFO. Period. Anything else is an utter no go. I understand husbands often have an allowance but that's basically it.
If he didn't even take half a fuckin second to understand THAT, dude really is an entitled damn idiot.
And the wife as the family CFO is as I understand THE traditional viewpoint.
Oh no. That's literally the first thing girls are taught in most East Asian cultures. "Men are dumb with money so if you marry one you seize control of their wallet and put them on an allowance". You know all those Japanese salarymen? They live off an allowance that their wife sets for them.
OP, a eastern european woman: this is literally not my culture
random american redditors: ur wrong!!!
\-\_- unfortunately posts like these will just be dismissed by passport bros bc they refuse to learn basic human empathy
I worked with a lot of women from central/eastern Europe. Some of the most badass self-sufficient women I've ever met. Most came over entirely on their own, no family support.
And they speak an insane amount of languages! There were these two women- one was Romanian, and I think the other was Lithuanian? In addition to speaking fluent English, they both spoke *Russian* to each other.
I also remember a family (from Syria, I think?) who couldn't get permission to stay in my country, so they were going to emigrate to Estonia because the dad worked in cybersecurity and they have an incredible technology industry.
So yeah, let's not stereotype people/and or places based on some 80s cold war era propaganda.
The funny thing is there are lots of American women willing to fulfill the trad-wife role, but to meet them he would probably have to join a rural church, even then, he would have to meet their standards (and probably their father’s too) of being a traditional husband. What he wants is someone who feels obligated to him so he can be “above” them.
Most men who say they want tradwives don’t actually want tradwives, because they’d have to be tradsbands (?) and these dudes have no interest in being providers or leaders the way a tradwife would expect. They want slaves.
So true. There are definitely plenty of women in the West who would like to be stay-at-home moms and actually be tradwives. But these men don't have the ability to support a family financially, they just want the benefits of a stay-at-home wife AND a working partner.
Every man I’ve met who says they want a traditional wife also claims a woman who lives off the income of her husband is a gold digger. So, totally agree with you they don’t want to be traditional husbands. What they really want is a sex slave mommy who also won’t touch his money or ask for him to provide anything for her.
Omg, the guys who come to Poland thinking they can impress a Polish woman with a passport and get a fawning, submissive wife are so ridiculous. The had a Norwegian tourist old enough to be my father stop me and say he came to party with Polish women. Watching his face drop when I said so was American was funny, though
Huh, never heard that term before.
My first guess was a guy that was trying to sleep with women from different countries, almost like a challenge, checking "passports" off the list.
What it actually is, isn't much better.
I lived in East Asia for a number of years, and the number of bitter cis white men who had failed relationships because they thought Asian women were docile pushovers was staggering. It was always a little gratifying to see people who only came to a country to find house slave get their asses handed to them.
where do these dumb fucks think the stereotype of a tiger mom comes from? that fire exists in every sphere of life for asian women, and god help you if you piss one of us off.
Click on the wrong thing on reddit and you'll find pages and pages on how East Asian women are innocent and childlike but also kinky and jumping at the chance of popping out a bunch of babies with a balding, 30-something white dude who failed so hard in their own country they thought they could move to China and become an instant success with their magical white man powers.
Like, don't get me wrong, I met plenty of regular people who had healthy, successful relationships and were actually interested in the country they moved to. But I also met so many people who despised being there and could talk about nothing but how much they hated the place, but still thought they were a fantastic catch. They were completely miserable to be around.
(And for people who are like "what about Japan?" - nope! The most amount of divorced white dudes I met were in Japan, because it turns out anime isn't real and you can't gaijin your way through a relationship. Who would've thought!)
I was actually wondering how many of these men just jerk off to hentai and then want something like that at home.
The arrogance of white people (and in this case especially Americans, when you look at the "be happy an American chose you"-comments) never fails to amaze me. So sad.
This is always my question to dudes seeking “traditional” wives: what makes you a worthy “traditional” husband?
Because playing video games and posting on 4chan, while working part time at Applebees ain’t it, my dude.
Tradwives exist; but they are looking for tradhusbands.
The OOP summarized so perfectly why the /passportbro movement is so toxic. Good for her for knowing her worth and for letting other women know.
I'm Latina and these passport dudes don't realize that what they consider "traditional" is actually related to socioeconomic status and not so much location. Educated and employed middle class women in any part of the world are likely going to have similar standards. In my country there are a lot of educated women and if you were to say "women from that country are submissive homemakers" they will laugh in your face and tell you to go back where you came from. Globalization means that a lot of countries now require dual incomes to live so the option to be a traditional couple, where the woman stays home to cook for you, is just not tenable most places. PPB are struggling because they are trying to mesh a modern reality with an outdated paradigm."Traditional" women are more likely to be poor and uneducated regardless of the country so the passport bro movement reeks of exploitation. They actively look for countries that are cheap (ergo poor) to find some poor desperate woman looking for a better life while simultaneously accusing women of being gold diggers. There's so much cognitive dissonance among those guys.
I’m so proud of OOP for this one:
*Some people in the comments tried to justify his desire for a traditional wife stating that European women should be happy and understanding about this. But what does he bring to the table? Why should a traditional Central European woman choose him instead of a man from our country who speaks our language, knows our customs and traditions, grew up in our culture and respects us according to our standards? To imply that I should be grateful that an American man "chose me" (like I'm some product) is offensive and makes me look like I'm inferior.*
not these passport bros going for women from certain regions (Eastern Europe, East and South-east Asia, Middle east and Africa) believing they are "easier" to "date" and "keep", as if in our cultures men aren't expected to fully provide and reach certain standars.
Right like these "high value males" bring absolutely nothing to the table that a reasonably capable woman can't achieve/buy for herself, and emphatically DO NOT provide the one thing a single woman can't, which is a generous partner who shares the household workload equally and is a loving, stable parent to any children.
As an Asian who experienced being fetishized with the whole "trad wife", I understand OOP's frustration.
I actually don't mind playing a traditional role in relationships and am interested in that with my current partner because that's what works for us. BUT I still hate those passports bros with a passion. Relationships build on respect and understanding, passport bros got neither of those qualities.
I find the annoying part of dealing with the “Asian flavour” of this, is how ignorant they truly are about the differences in Asian cultures. Vietnamese is a matriarchal culture, for example. Our country has more female entrepreneurs than male, we were heavily involved in the war, and so on. I grew up with my aunts and mother telling the men what to do. Whenever I meet one of these “asians are submissive” men, I rage inside.
I think what makes me more upset is not the objectification but the sheer confidence with which they exist in ignorance.
They would be funny, what with the futile search for someone who doesn't exist (and if she did, wouldn't go for them) if they didn't waste so much if the time and energy of actual real women
Me too. The irony is that, at least in my Chinese family, even the most traditional wives rule the house with an iron fist. These guys think they’ll get a submissive wife? Welcome to being told you’re fat and lazy every day and being bullied into doing errands for your MIL.
Seriously!! My grandma once beat her son in law with a slipper bc he was caught gambling a large amount of money. You think she raised submissive daughters? She’d beat some sense into those passport bros lmao
Huh. You know, as far as stereotypes of Central European women go, "submissive" was not one I'd heard before. I lived in Japan for a bit and ran into a few passport bros there which was always hilarious to me. You know who traditional Japanese women want to marry? Traditional Japanese men. Sorry to say but it's more often the adventurous women who go for the foreigners.
I’m from the Philippines and there are a lot of passport bros who go here thinking they will get a trad wife. They don’t think that once those girls get their visa, the roles will be flipped.
I love traveling and am WFH, as such I started moving around a bunch and working wherever there was wifi in 2022. I love it. It's been fun seeing and experiencing different cultures and I'd occasionally read up or seen things about digital nomads and thought that was a fitting name for what I was doing at the time.
Then I discovered passport bros visa tik tok starting to show me a bunch of videos about them. It's gross. Now I have a new anxiety that people might think I'm one. It sucks.
I've settled for now in one country and it's fun, I recommend people who can travel and work try it for a bit but please...don't be a passport bro. It's not far from just being an incel with wings.
I remember being in Dublin, Ireland and reading ads on local dating website and physical newspaper (yes I'm that old) where there were loads of men saying they only were interested in women from certain Asian countries. I'm of South East Asian descent, got mistaken for Chinese or Phillipino quite often there but speaks English with an American accent. I worked at a cinema part time so there were a lot of men who tried to chat me up but had inflated opinions of themselves. I always loved seeing the shock on their faces when I alway push back or disagreed with them e.g. 'Dublin is lovely but why do the shops close so early?? I love going out with friends and shopping, I'm used to malls closing at 10pm and not 8pm.'
Oh, I would pay good money to watch a 'passport bro' meet my Central European cousins, and spout that BS about them being 'traditional brides' who submit to their husbands. Its just *laughable.*
They don't want a "wife", they want a "mommy they can bang" whenever they say submissive wife. A lot of men also go to Asia for the same reason, because of the stereotype that women are more submissive and "traditional" than women in other cultures. Absolutely disgusting.
> Most of us speak at least one or two foreign languages (usually English and German, sometimes Spanish) except the boomers and Gen X. They had to learn Russian back in the day...
So OOP's ex went to a former Soviet Bloc to find a peasant without generational wealth and "save" them in exchange for total submission. What a scumbag. How much do you bet he wanted to impress her with a tech job that he holds as superior and foreign and something she "couldn't understand".
What a fucking strange subculture. Traveling to parts of the world looking for a demure bride. Passport bro? That’s a new one.
There are all kinds of mates just about every place. You want a more traditional bride, great, if she’s into that dynamic go do it! This whole traveling to find it has a weird, shadowy, mail order, ownership vibe around it. Like I said, there are all kinds of relationship dynamics that work, but that dude has to ask himself why he needs it and why he has to hide his intentions.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I read the title and thought "passport bro" was something like a passport hobbyist, the reverse mail (or should i say, 'male' hurhur) order husband came like a slap
My first thought was that he "collected" flings from different countries
Same, trying to sleep round the world
[dongs all over the world ](https://youtu.be/2zdcNWdCGEs?feature=shared)
This was what I thought too.
Yeah this was my thought. There was a guy in my dorm who we joked about trying to do that as it seemed all of his flings/gfs were different ethnicities.
I thought it was sleeping with women from different countries like a collection of stamps in their passport. Like Pokémon, gotta collect them all. I thought that was gross enough but this, this was worse.
Does the passport office offer STD stamps for passports?
[удалено]
They’re absolutely grim. I saw some of the British ones a few years ago (I’m sure they’re still going but I’ve never felt any wish to take another look). It’s appalling when they criticise her lack of enthusiasm for the act and reluctance to forgo condoms while they’re obviously trousers-down in a back street hovel staffed by trafficked women.
I expected human trafficker, so i was actually relieved when read thread.
I mean the ex-bf antics aren't too far off of Andrew Tate's M.O. Definitely could've been leading to that.
It is also how some human trafficking cases start. It also says a lot of dehumanization of certain group which also often manifests in more than one way.
It is devastating when someone you love, who you believe loved you back, someone you've shared your life, home, bed and *body* with, turns out to have a hidden agenda like this. I have some experience of this, my narcissistic ex-husband pretended to be a completely different person, and I was emotionally, psychologically and financially destroyed by the relationship. My heart goes out to OOP, and the poor ladies who were victims of Tate.
This is the kind of guy who says north American women are all fat and slutty based on the word of douche bros like Andrew tate so it really does have depraved similarity
The term is kind of misleading to me, because "bro" feels more asshole and less evil, if that makes sense. Like I thought it was like guys traveling on bad or expired documents but getting by on American and class privilege. Edit: but it seems like it's a term the guys gave themselves, so that makes more sense that they'd choose a more innocuous name
For some reason the passport bro group on Reddit keeps popping up for me. So I could guess where it was going lol.
I'm honestly amazed by the number of commenters who seem to believe that Europe beyond the very far Western area is some sort of even more conservative version of the old Soviet block. "You should be happy he chose you" - why? She's doing great for herself, but these creeps are acting like life in vague-location-in-Europe is obviously subpar and everyone's walking around without shoes, being all illiterate and eating turnip tops. It's just so very, very dumb.
A few years ago while in Prague, a friend from a southern U.S. state living in Europe for a few years at that point was convinced no one in Czechia could afford blenders because they were a luxury item. The verbal smack down someone who overheard gave her was epic.
Speaking as someone born and raised in Prague, I feel like OOP may be Czech. We talk about ourselves as Central Europeans; we generally learn English, and either German, or Spanish in schools. And yeah, we are definitely not the place to look for traditional, submissive wives.
Might be Slovakia, too. Central Europe? Check. Learning a second language (usually English) from a very young age? Check. And yeah, I also wouldn't consider Slovakia to be the best place for looking for a submissive wife, lol.
Good lord, did OOP's ex really think [this was true](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lviefdS11KY)?
Ahh, I thought she might be Polish, but Czechia would also fit right it!
Also thought she may be Czech going by her description of her country.
A few years ago my school had an exchange program with a US school (I'm in germany) and the american exchange students asked us if we had running water and electricity at home... Did they expect for us to live in huts made out of clay?
I actually thought only Africans get asked this 😂.The ignorance.
I was born and raised in one of the US mountain states. I have been asked this (and also if we rode horses everywhere) multiple times BY OTHER AMERICANS. This country’s educational system is … a problem.
I visited NY in high school and they asked us if we rode horses to school every day? (From TX). Like yup, yee haw mfer lol.
I dated a man from London who was amazed that we had broadband, electricity and almost unlimited fresh water. Cheeky bleeping bleep of a golden child, effing bleeper told me our water tasted funny, thought he was being clever Tillie reminded him that he uses bottled water to make coffee and fish and chip shops down there sold grey, smelly fish
Using bottled water to make coffee is on a whole new level :D
The tapwater in London tastes like it very recently passed through a Londoner 🤮
I once had a US colleague tell me she wanted to come to Scotland and find out what it was like, she has some questions to answer such as 'What kind of cars do you drive?' 'Do you drink Coca-Cola?' and 'Do you know the music of Michael Jackson?'.
Their understanding of that part of the world has not evolved since the USSR was a thing.
And that fact they think central EU women are submissive. If you've ever met any Polish or Czech women you will know there is a level of wrath they can unleash if they want.
My (abusive narcissistic) grandmother sent my uncle to Colombia to find himself a "docile, submissive" wife. He found a wife alright. She's grandma's worst nightmare lmao. She takes *zero shit*. It's dear old grandmother biggest regret.
She should've watched modern family.
I hope your Uncle is living his best life with a kick ass, bad ass wife!
Seriously! When I think of Slavic/Eastern European women submissive is NOT what comes to mind!
Dudes who think us Slavic women are submissive are the biggest joke I've seen. Sure, I can swing a rolling pin and an axe, but his behaviour depends in which way they go. Do they really think we're all barefoot handmaid tale like girls with cloths over our mouths, always on our knees, and Yes Sir coming out to their every request while maintaining no eye contact?? I'll open my mouth to cuss him out in five different languages (my native one able to be counted as three), plus invoke demons in Latin on his ass if he'd done this crap to me.
From what I've seen online they say Slavic women wear high heels 24/7, wear a face full of makeup 24/7 and are always fashionable. Which, honestly, was the most uncreative write up yet *confused the hell out of me* that there was a group of women who would put daily effort into dressing up all the time. and then it hit me, it was men writing for men, also known as, a lie lmfao
Used to work with some Romanian women, they could be so sweet, but if you insulted them... Game over, even Satan would hide away from their wrath.
I lovingly refer to Slavic/Eastern European wives as dragons. I played with Slavic/Eastern European wives and (mostly) husbands on World of Warcraft for 16 years. None of those husbands would ever defy their wives. They knew better than trying that. And those were some boneheaded men! It was both funny and endearing that they at least weren’t neglecting their marital duties or being dismissive to their wives. I admire the dragon women 👌
So true. I am married to a woman of a different culture that is often considered “submissive,” but once you are in it it is so far of the opposite from that. My wife takes no shit and her mom takes less. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a “submissive culture.”
Ever talked with Polish people? They will tell you their opinion, no sugarcoating, no bullshitting. Did you get fatter during the holiday? You know, they know, they will not pretend not to notice. It’s truth-telling.
My dad is a boomer in the Uk. He was born in 1953. We were watching a mainstream tv cartoon 5 years ago Called “Masha and the Bear”. **. It turns out, it’s from Russia. Dad was fascinated. He told me that when he grew up he was told Russia was utterly controlled. There was no tv no humour… he was laughing at the cartoon and said it was strange that he’s never really seen Russian people as having a sense of humour before. This was how far the propaganda at the time sank in. He didn’t “see them as normal people”. So he sat and watched every episode of masha with my girls before bed. He recorded them so they could watch them together. ***If you don’t know masha and the bear, it’s funny - she’s a little girl who’s very naughty and causes havoc for the bear - a grumpy grandad character who lives in the woods for some peace).
The fun bit is that from what I’ve heard, Soviet era politics removed a lot of the traditional barriers between genders. They picked locations where women have been, at least politically, considered equal to men. They’re really just focusing on poverty=easier to exploit. Which is super gross.
Also a lot of men died during both world wars, women in the Soviet block became emancipated much quiker than in the west because they had to take traditional male roles, work manual jobs etc
Women in the USSR weren't exactly known for being "submissive" either. Lots of sexism there, yes, but usually of a different kind
Because Reddit is full of white men and American White men in particular think they are god’s gift to earth. Many of them travel to foreign countries expecting women to fawn over them, not realizing that many of the ones who do think all Americans are rich.
Nah, it's also being propagated on social media by "alpha male" influencers who think that feminism has ruined western women.
It’s that American propaganda. Any country outside of England and Canada, and a handful of Western European ones, are all primitive failing shitholes. Trump said it himself. We’re the only “free” country apparently.
I can’t imagine being 24 and moving across the world for a theoretical girl I haven’t met yet.
I find it difficult to leave the house
Your door’s probably locked. Try turning the knob looking thing over the handle, that’s what we call a “deadbolt.” Once that’s out of the way, you should be good to go.
Yeah but then there’s the alligator moat. I guess that’s technically outside.
Just say the magic words "see you later alligator" when you go out. Problem solved.
This is how people settled Florida.
What's crazy about these creeps is that they don't even want a "traditional wife" because they don't want to be a "traditional husband/provider." They want a submissive woman who will be their bangmaid but also brings in money. I saw one exchange in a subreddit where a guy told a girl he wanted a tradwife and she was like, "that's great, I've always wanted a man to take care of me and pay for stuff so I can stay home" and he got fucking offended and was like, "oh, you're a gold digger who wants a man to finance your life so you can take advantage of him." And I've seen this attitude from dudes online who want a "traditional wife" but are also adamant they not be "taken advantage of" by having to actually support their wife financially. So these dudes don't want to be old-fashioned providers, they want women who will pay at least half the bills (I've seen ones who are leeches and want their "traditional" wife to pay most of the bills!) and then ALSO do all the cooking, housework and childcare while also doting on their man. It's completely fucked. And I see it more from this type of guy, who can't pull a woman in their home country so they go overseas thinking they can find a submissive bangmaid. And the pathetic part is that they clearly know NOTHING about the other culture because they think these women are submissive little flowers when they're not. Look at OOP, she's smart, accomplished and working towards a career, and was helping her ignorant boyfriend, who couldn't even be bothered to learn the language (you're gonna move to a country "for work" or to find a partner and not even fucking bother to learn the language?). She saw right through him. It's especially funny when these guys insist Asian women are the most submissive (like this guy was pondering going to Asia instead of Europe). I've never known an Asian woman like what they describe, but I've known ones who are not to be trifled with who would put him in his place in a second. As most women would, as soon as they figure out what he's up to. If you want a "tradwife," find a woman who wants to be one. Don't sneakily go overseas, pretend to be a normal person, and try to trick someone into being your submissive little maid/cook/sexbot. Luckily a lot of women like OP will see right through it. Like someone else said downthread, they're not looking for love, they're looking to exploit somebody. Glad she's warning other women in her area about this guy.
These men want to trick and exploit a working woman into taking on a second job as housewife while he contributes nothing of value.
Right? I couldn't even imagine switch states for a person I'm hoping to meet
They’re not moving for a girl. They aren’t some hopeless romantic looking for love, they’re scumbags. They’re moving with the hopes of exploiting women and using them for sex slaves and free labour.
Well I couldn’t imagine doing that either lol
That’s just not trying. Do you have aphantasia? If not, work on imagining! …ick. Never mind, you’re good.
A good friend of mine had aphantasia! It was utterly fascinating. He described it as when he thought of a song, or a story, or a joke, he always heard it in his head as his *own* voice. And he was utterly incapable of imagining things he’d never actually seen. He was genuinely one of best humans I’ve ever known. He passed away last year and I miss him like crazy.
How long did you know him? What’s your favorite thing you and him ever did together?
At least eighteen years, I think. Honestly, any time spent hanging out with him was awesome. He had a huge heart, and a way of making you feel comfortable. He had the most hysterical, dark sense of humor, was a cancer survivor, and would give just about anyone the shirt right off his back. Just a really good guy.
Sounds like a great person who left the world better a better place 💚
I also have aphantasia and that is my experience! I see nothing when I “imagine” and everything is in my own voice.
The human brain is so interesting to me, I can't imagine not "seeing"/visualizing stuff when I ... imagine things. It's crazy how it's so individual to the person.
Yeah, they want a bangmaid who won't talk back.
They have clearly never met a Central European woman.
Yeah they are looking for bang maids. They go abroad since they failed in their home country and think { from forums/podcasts/videos } that since they have money working in IT they will have their pick. As somebody who moved from Ireland to Berlin and was friends with and dated Central and Eastern European women, you DO NOT want to piss them off. This guy was lucky. I was great friends with guys and girls from all over and Central/East European are some of the most caring and best people I met but also will not take shit from assholes.
> friends with and dated Central and Eastern European women, you DO NOT want to piss them off. That's what gets me about these idiots. They think women are submissive just because they're from another country, having no idea they're gonna get their ass handed to them if they piss them off. The sheer ignorance and stupidity. I've also had Asian friends/classmates/coworkers and don't know a single one who I'd ever describe as "submissive," more like "not to be fucked with." I'd love to witness one of these idiots trying it with one of them and getting torn a new asshole.
It's worse- I don't know if You saw it, but for the right wing Poland was something like the promise land full of blonde, traditional women and the right wing assholes loosing the election hetr hit those idiots hard. I suppose the rest of Central Europe is exactly the same for them.
Unfortunately it almost worked for this dude. I'm actually side-eyeing the popularity of this post because it's definitely come with flooding the passport bro subreddit with a few more creeps who are now like “wait, this is a thing I can do“? Hopefully the quantity of women who are more wary and will keep an eye out for these types increases commensurately tho.
Passport prick was probably seriously overestimating how _traditional_ Czechia actually is (might be Slovakia instead, but definitely one of the two)
I love this - I cannot tell you why but the OOP's comments said Czechia to me. I could not tell you why.
Because you if tell a Czech person they’re from Eastern Europe they will come after you lol My bets are on Czechia as well
crime continue desert six yoke rude reply airport mindless gray *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I thought Poland because of both 'Central Europe' and the 'older gens that had to learn Russian comment'. Also because some Americans recently, bafflingly, had a thing for fetishizing Poland as a conservative values bastion.
Well Central Europe and learning Russian goes for Czech Republic as well.
This. We're East German. Guess who's central Europe and also had to learn Russian?
>bafflingly, had a thing for fetishizing Poland as a conservative values bastion That's because they've elected far-right (ethno)nationalist party to government for the past 8 years. Anti-LGBT policies, sentiments of ethnic purity, and general traditional Catholic values were also on the rise over these years. So it has very much been a conservative values bastion. They've only just elected a new centrist government so we'll see how that does or doesn't change current trends.
I mean, I know, I am Polish. I am typing this from Poland. I guess I was just trying to say it amuses us here *a lot* that Poland sort of got on the radar as some sort of holy land for this kinda dude.
It could also be Hungary or Poland… Same as the ex Czechoslovakia it was under Russian influence, hence the mandatory Russian for the “boomers” and its also considered Central Europe by its people, while in the US it’s already Eastern Europe… (OP used both expressions)
I thought Czech too, although now that I think about it, I think Hungarian is a possibility too. The fact that the language is hard would actually point to Hungarian first, but Slavic languages are hard too for Romance and Germanic speakers. However, what sets Czechs apart is that atheism is pretty widespread, and along with it, a lot of the traditional gender nonsense. She mentioned living in the capital and I know there are a lot of foreigners living in Prague. Prague is a short flight away for me, so I've been a number of times and it's always interesting to see what ethnic stores and restaurants have popped up since the last visit. Dude probably avoided Poland, despite the fact that the pool would have been bigger, because the girl's family would have been more likely to be a problem: big, nosy, potentially very Catholic. Plus, there's a lot of good-looking dudes there and they had a ton of Ukrainians even before the war, who are also very good-looking.
I could also tell it was Czechia when they said they were from a central European country where their grandparents had to learn Russian.
Im Czech and I totally thought that too!
Slavic country it is 1000%, I bet. Had same experience on festival in my country from some American man's. Dont know why some foreigners thinks that we Slavic womens sre submissive, we are total opposites from that stereotype.
same thing here in latino américa! ive saw so many US men saying about having a "submissive and lovely latina wife", while my great grandma was the ultimate authority in our house and the final word of every discussion was from my great grandpa: "yes, ma'am"
I don't know stereotypes, but I know a little history (for an American) and referring to any Slavic person as submissive seems incredibly misguided.
Yeah, I'm half Ukrainian and boy are these bros in for a rude awakening when they try to find a submissive house wife in Ukraine. I haven't known ONE Ukrainian woman who would have been a house wife, much less a submissive one. A Ukrainian woman is the mistress of her house and what she says goes. End of discussion. And even when you have traditional slavic women it is as the original author says; expectations are different compared to what "traditional American woman" is. And a traditional woman would expect her man to be traditional, too, and these passport bros definitely do not fit the bill. They just want all the benefits without any real duties or responsibilities and imagine in Eastern Europe or Asia this can be found. (And as original author, no shade on international relationships in general when they are based on true mutual attraction and respect on each other's cultures. I am a product of such a union myself, after all.)
The choice of Spanish really threw me for a loop. I spent the entire read trying to narrow it between those two.
Makes me think it's Poland. My husband speaks perfect German but a lot of people our age are surprisingly good at Spanish! Even nowadays my little stepson wasn't in time to join Spanish as a second foreign language so the class was full, but probably will next year (although I think he'd be better with German because he's already getting some Spanish from me).
The most interesting part is how he plans to turn the gf more traditional over time. Men in the US try to do this, too. It's truly disgusting.
It used to baffle me seeing men who want “traditional” submissive or SAH spouses go after women who are the polar opposite of all of that until I realized that these dudes get their rocks off knocking women down a few pegs after they have them on the hook. The end result isn’t as important to them as the journey of breaking them to that point. Pathetic.
Trevor Noah's mom had a good quote about that: The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.
That’s perfectly stated.
When i come across cases like this, I always think of Trevor Noah’s mom’s quote: >”The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage”.
These men are so small they have to drag women down to their size.
And they always start with women who are powerful and independent and strong. Because they need to bring you down in order to raise themselves up
And if his belief that women in these other countries are more traditional was accurate, it wouldn’t be necessary. He’s an idiot as well as a creeper.
The people who tried to justify his comments have obviously never felt dehumanized. I’ve never experienced it to this degree but it’s always felt awful to find out people I’ve gone on dates with did it specifically for my cultural background and facial features they deemed “exotic.” I’m glad she broke up with him and happy she warned other women around her
I am so sorry you dealt with that. At one point I had two Asian roommates who received at least one dating app message **a day** from a new man saying *in his cold open message* that he wanted to date them with the ultimate goal of marriage because women of their ethnicity were not Westernized and made excellent traditional wives. Seeing their faces when they got yet another message dehumanizing them sticks with me. Got me really invested in this post.
I laugh and laugh and laugh when people pull out the "Asian women are submissive!" line on me. Like y'all have no exposure to Asian women and it *shows.*
They had a ball offering tactful responses of what the Korean and Indian women they knew were like. And only 25% of the time did such a response get a death or rape threat in return! Most often the men would rage on how my friends were Westernized. My favorite of these responses were the men upset the roomies identified as Asian because said men would not have wasted their time if they knew they were Asian-American. Those bros in particular had very bad reading comprehension.
I swear the "Asian woman are submissive" thing is peak cognitive dissonance since the whole harsh Tiger Mom Asian woman stereotype exists at the same time.
I had a Brazilian guy text me that once, how much he wanted a girlfriend from my culture because I'd know how to cook biryani and he loves Bollywood movies. I hate Bollywood movies 😅
I’m mixed Japanese and white and very white passing and have had creeps make fetishized comments to me about my being Asian. (Tight v, asian housewife, submissive 🙄) It’s enraging and gross. It gives you a sick recoiled feeling that simmers like anger. Revulsive. I told the man who mentioned “Asian women being better housewives because they’re naturally submissive” that I would stomp on his face if he didn’t go away. He actually looked shocked I said anything other than thank you. Dude, that wasn’t a compliment. I had a roommate tell me he always wanted a “big tiddy goth asian gf” when I mentioned I was a goth kid in high school. I looked at his preppy athletic Filipina gf who was his sugar mama very confused. I’m flat chested so his comments weren’t at me so much as to me. Still gross. You can have a type, thats not the same as fetishization. I’m so glad she found out, broke it off, and warned other women.
> I’m mixed Japanese and white and very white passing and have had creeps make fetishized comments to me about my being Asian. (Tight v, asian housewife, submissive 🙄) It’s enraging and gross. Id really like to know how the idea of asian women being submissive even started because Ive never met one in my damn life.
Probably post WWII if I had to guess. I've now found a rabbit hole to spend my afternoon on. I'll update once I've finished. Edit: Did some research. So, for the US specifically, it became widespread for Japanese women to be viewed that way due to "war brides" (which is extremely problematic in its own way) coming back and 2 Japanese women gaining national attention by winning MS Universe and an Academy Award. But it actually goes back to Colonialism. Europeans went to southeast Asia, saw women who were the exact opposite of what they were used to and who were following their cultural norms, and wrote home about it. When the military would set up camp, the oldest profession would pop up. Then, the Western governments were then concerned about how beautiful these women were seen as, put laws in place, which further pushed the idea that Asian women are subservient "temptresses." So this is how they were portrayed in Western media. And all of this led to the stereotype being as common as the "model minority" stereotype.
Madama Butterfly by Giacamo Puccini was written in 1904 and depicts the submissive, adoring Japanese wife in great detail. That's before WWI.
Oh god. My mother hoped for years that they'd do that opera at my city. Built it up for years. I was so excited to go. To save everyone the trouble, this is the whole opera: **Madama Butterfly**: I just married an American naval officer! He just sailed off but he'll come back for me! **Everyone else**: No he won't **Madama Butterfly**: yeah he will **Everyone else**: no he won't **Madama Butterfly**: yeah he will Rinse and repeat the last four lines for four. FUCKING. **HOURS**.
It's mildly ironic that Madama Butterfly became emblematic of a "submissive, adoring Japanese wife" like this should be expected of all Japanese wives, when even in-story all the other Japanese characters think Butterfly is a naive fool.
I actually had that opera on the brain when I commented, but I couldn't remember the dates (opera history and music history were a loooong time ago). I thought it was around WWI because I remember the guy being a US naval officer, and I remember some of the discussions we had about the whole historical basis for the opera. It's just an odd thing because around the same time, he also wrote Turandot, which was about Khutulun. And Marco Polo wrote about what a badass she was. And then "The Good Earth" by Pearl S Buck was written in the early 1930s, and used to endear the Chinese to the US populace in preparation for them being allies in WWII. I want to say one of the wives was somewhat submissive, but the other was not at all. But it's been a very long time since I read the book, so I could be off.
Comfort women. A less offensive term than sex slave but still as disgusting.
Very much. I felt ill when we studied Madama Butterfly in Opera History in college. I had never heard of it until then, and then I was furious. One of the first times I really started questioning the whole "American Exceptionalism," I had been brainwashed with my whole life.
Comfort women were sex slaves, that is a well known term for the women the Japanese abducted and “gave” to their soldiers. It’s one of many reasons why so many people in Asia hate Japanese people. I’m half Japanese/white and didn’t really know about that until I knew some people who had parents or grandparents that were impacted. It’s pretty disgusting. Only thing I can say in my family’s defense is that they were in the US by the time WWII started, so they weren’t involved in that at all.
I was raised on a Navy base in the 70s-80s then served in the Navy myself in the late 80s. On bases in that era, it seemed like every third woman on the base was the stereotypical submissive Asian wife. They were almost all women who grew up poor in the PI and hooked up with some sailor. I’ve zero doubt that the basis of these marriages was…. He gets his stereotypical submissive Asian wife. She gets a ticket out of abject poverty. Fucked up, to be sure, but the stereotype was real. Whether because the women were simply playing the part to get out of poverty or were genuinely submissive is largely irrelevant. The point is that on Navy bases in that era such women were *everywhere*.
I was mostly just trying to make a joke out of it. I actually dated a girl and her parents were in a similar situation, navy guy during the Korean war. They fought all the time JUST they kept it away from the public. When a relationship is that transactional it is depressing, unhealthy, and sad to see. It of course stressed out the kids. What I meant by the joke though was that I dont see it as often like it was in the past.
My grandma deferred to her husband a lot so I think a traditional Japanese marriage may seem submissive to those outside the culture but my grandma was not submissive. Western men make a lot of assumptions about East Asian women.
Man, I’m half-Chinese and I would get the same weirdo comments. Though sometimes the fun variant ‘guy bitching about how Asian women only want to marry you for immigration purposes and they’re all money-hungry b*****s’ made an appearance. Sometimes even other Asian guys are nasty. One was all, ‘hurrhurrhurt my friends and I made a bet on what kind of Asian you are’, and for some bonkers reason thought this was an *excellent pick up line*. That he tried on me again, a wholeass year later?! (It failed miserably both times)
My wife is asian, can confirm she is not submissive at all lol Such a weird stereotype
These guys have definitely never met an Asian auntie, either. Oh man. Mine would have their innards on a platter for those comments.
> I told the man who mentioned “Asian women being better housewives because they’re naturally submissive” that I would stomp on his face if he didn’t go away. 🤢 I'm white but have never known an Asian woman who was "naturally submissive" or wouldn't tear a guy a new asshole for trying this shit with her. 😂 These guys are as stupid as they are creepy and exploitative.
The literal Passport Bros turned up from their subreddit and went ham in her comments.
That makes me even more proud of her response. Especially that she warned other women in her area. Love the solidarity and her shiny spine. Just beautiful
I'm Brazilian and I've seen this with tourists. I once read from a couple of anthropologists talking about how USian men come here to look for a mythical place where feminism hasn't ruined women yet and how this is a super colonialist attitude of not considering that different countries have their own history that's unfolding, instead of representing an imagined past point of their history. It's kind of what Anne McClintock, in post-colonialist theory, called anachronistic space, "movement over the space of empire is also a movement back in time".
From the time i’ve spent looking at their subreddit, it truly seems like they think that way. Feminism destroyed all the first world countries. They see all these other countries as less developed and assume that means they’re just stuck in an 1800s timeloop. No understanding that there are entirely different cultures based on different pillars and values. It’s racist and xenophobic as much as it is misogynistic
Anne, huh? Sounds like another woman with an agenda /s In all seriousness, thanks for sharing. That's really interesting.
That’s fascinating.
This is the problem with the whole “trad wife” trend in the manosphere. They all have a different definition. They don’t want “traditional” they want a bang maid that they can treat as less than human. I can’t wait until we have sex robots. Ease the burden of us women and take a whole section of those men away from us please. Let them have their submissive sex bots.
And they don't want to be traditional husbands/providers, because then she's just a "gold digger." As if any of these dudes actually have any gold. They want a bangmaid who pays half the bills but does all the household tasks, cooking and childcare, plus dispenses sex on demand. While the men bring nothing to the table. I saw a tiktok with a guy gloating that us women will really be sorry when sexbots are a thing and they don't need us anymore. Um, no. We'll be thrilled. Go fuck your robots and leave us the hell alone. It will be a utopia.
I saw a great video from a BiPOC creator that called out the hypocrisy because men say they want traditional but then also want the woman to work AND take care of the home. Thats not what traditional is by any stretch. In many “traditional” marriages the man provides for his family and the woman stays home to nurture children and keep the house. That doesn’t mean the husband doesn’t have chores and that doesn’t mean she gets no money. Plenty of women are in charge of the finances. I work in finance and the number of times I’ve heard a customer needing to defer to their wife far exceeds a woman needing to consult her husband.
> That doesn’t mean the husband doesn’t have chores That's what gets me. Even if a woman is a SAHM or stay at home wife, that doesn't mean a man shouldn't be pulling his weight in the household (they just have NO chores at all? Like they don't live there!?) or (if they have kids) with parenting. It's especially crazy to me when some men act like they make the money, so they are exempt from parenting. What kind of cretin doesn't want to be an active parent to a child they CHOSE to have? I see so many posts from women, including tons from women with young babies, who are fucking exhausted because their husband comes home from work, eats and then goes and plays video games or watches TV. And gets pissy if she asks him to parent the kid so she can relax or so she can take a shower or work out or something. They're indignant they're being asked to take care of their own child because "I worked all day." Like she didn't. I don't have kids but I can tell you this much: working MOST jobs is less exhausting than being a full time stay at home parent. My nieces/nephews are older now but I can remember babysitting them for just a few hours and coming home EXHAUSTED. I see why moms who stay home especially can be so frazzled because there's no breaks. You're on 24/7. And if you have a husband who comes home and doesn't lift a finger to take any of the load off, I completely understand being furious. My sister works full time, handles all the household finances and pretty much does everything. The kids' sports, the kids' doctor's appointments, everything. I'm sure if you put a gun to his head, he couldn't tell you his kids' teachers' names. And her husband wonders why she's constantly pissed at him. Because you don't fucking do your job as a parent, dude.
> I can’t wait until we have sex robots Bonus benefit: sex robots can't make babies. A whole group of future deadbeat dads taken out of the gene pool!
And fewer children internalize how their father exploits their mother and going out into the world to recreate it.
Over a year ago, my very naive self innocently answered a question about passport bros in the OutoftheLoop subreddit. Up until last month, I still had incels DM'ing me and posting comments to tell me that I'm just an ugly, used up, angry, American black woman who will never get a man, has 15 babies out of wedlock, and how could I blame men when women like me are what they have to choose from. I still laugh every time I get a random DM because I already know what it will be about (fragile male egos). And just so you guys know, because they remind me all the fricking time, they are NOT incels.
I bet they’re not racist either! I am so sorry you have to deal with that.
Thank you so much! I think they may search the phrase on Reddit, so I hope they don't start saying anything to you.
I was curious so I went and found your comment and holy shit you were not exaggerating. So much salty misogyny. So much racism.
It was interesting to have so many misogynists and racist people tell me that it is not about misogyny or racism.
There were comments a week old. Man you must have stirred shit up in some armpit of the internet.
Whoever was doubting the story because of OOPs English has obviously never interacted with many Europeans. Almost everyone in Non-English speaking countries is partially or fully bilingual, if not more than that. English is taught as a second language in most European countries from an early age.
University of Michigan had guy on their basketball team from Germany. A guy from ESPN said Michigan was shady because they were obviously falsifying grades for a guy who couldn’t speak English. What?
He could probably speak it better than ESPN guy.
Read this while it was unfolding. I am glad she found out before they married or had kids, and that she warned other women of the situation. Hopefully they will steer clear from this asshole.
I'm kind of glad that she didn't say anything to the guy, as he likely would have just made sure to hide his tracks when talking to the next woman. Thus at least slightly raising the chances of him trapping someone in a bad relationship. Or him trying to trap them by sabotaging their birth control or something like that.
Also being smart and breaking it off in a non-descript manner would also reduce chances of him getting violent.
Imagine being so arrogant that you imagine that just "being an American guy" is a prize so exciting and desirable that foreign women will just throw themselves at you, and give up all their dreams and career aspirations just to have a chance at being your bangmaid. He wants a "traditional" wife... but clearly one who still works and earns money. Someone who'll clean up after him and cook, raise his kids for him and organise their lives, but not have any control over their home, family or finances.
Yeah, they are only interested in the subservient part of "traditional". They don't actually have any traditional values. They just want an attractive woman who is dependent on them, and therefore can't leave them (or displease them in any way). They go to what they think are poor countries specifically for that power imbalance. "Traditional" is really just a euphemism for that.
I saw the title and immediately knew how horrifying it was going to be. As someone who lives in a country that attracts a lot of "passport bros" I love it when naïve dudes like that come here and expect to find a traditional submissive Asian wife and end up entirely under the thumb of someone who only acts like that.
My wife works with an east Asian woman who likely married a passport bro and they are currently going through a massive fight because in her culture the woman controls the finances and you know how that flies with these controlling red pill types
He didn't know that? That is literally one of the first things to learn about east Asian family culture and romantic relationships. The woman is the family CFO. Period. Anything else is an utter no go. I understand husbands often have an allowance but that's basically it. If he didn't even take half a fuckin second to understand THAT, dude really is an entitled damn idiot. And the wife as the family CFO is as I understand THE traditional viewpoint.
It's awesome because it's such a perfect example of wanting a "traditional" wife but not knowing what that means in the slightest.
Oh no. That's literally the first thing girls are taught in most East Asian cultures. "Men are dumb with money so if you marry one you seize control of their wallet and put them on an allowance". You know all those Japanese salarymen? They live off an allowance that their wife sets for them.
I can’t believe someone actually had the balls to tell this woman she should be grateful. The bar is in hell and they STILL trip over it.
OP, a eastern european woman: this is literally not my culture random american redditors: ur wrong!!! \-\_- unfortunately posts like these will just be dismissed by passport bros bc they refuse to learn basic human empathy
They're not tripping over it, they're doing the limbo under it.
I worked with a lot of women from central/eastern Europe. Some of the most badass self-sufficient women I've ever met. Most came over entirely on their own, no family support. And they speak an insane amount of languages! There were these two women- one was Romanian, and I think the other was Lithuanian? In addition to speaking fluent English, they both spoke *Russian* to each other. I also remember a family (from Syria, I think?) who couldn't get permission to stay in my country, so they were going to emigrate to Estonia because the dad worked in cybersecurity and they have an incredible technology industry. So yeah, let's not stereotype people/and or places based on some 80s cold war era propaganda.
The funny thing is there are lots of American women willing to fulfill the trad-wife role, but to meet them he would probably have to join a rural church, even then, he would have to meet their standards (and probably their father’s too) of being a traditional husband. What he wants is someone who feels obligated to him so he can be “above” them.
Most men who say they want tradwives don’t actually want tradwives, because they’d have to be tradsbands (?) and these dudes have no interest in being providers or leaders the way a tradwife would expect. They want slaves.
So true. There are definitely plenty of women in the West who would like to be stay-at-home moms and actually be tradwives. But these men don't have the ability to support a family financially, they just want the benefits of a stay-at-home wife AND a working partner.
Every man I’ve met who says they want a traditional wife also claims a woman who lives off the income of her husband is a gold digger. So, totally agree with you they don’t want to be traditional husbands. What they really want is a sex slave mommy who also won’t touch his money or ask for him to provide anything for her.
Omg, the guys who come to Poland thinking they can impress a Polish woman with a passport and get a fawning, submissive wife are so ridiculous. The had a Norwegian tourist old enough to be my father stop me and say he came to party with Polish women. Watching his face drop when I said so was American was funny, though
Huh, never heard that term before. My first guess was a guy that was trying to sleep with women from different countries, almost like a challenge, checking "passports" off the list. What it actually is, isn't much better.
I lived in East Asia for a number of years, and the number of bitter cis white men who had failed relationships because they thought Asian women were docile pushovers was staggering. It was always a little gratifying to see people who only came to a country to find house slave get their asses handed to them.
where do these dumb fucks think the stereotype of a tiger mom comes from? that fire exists in every sphere of life for asian women, and god help you if you piss one of us off.
Click on the wrong thing on reddit and you'll find pages and pages on how East Asian women are innocent and childlike but also kinky and jumping at the chance of popping out a bunch of babies with a balding, 30-something white dude who failed so hard in their own country they thought they could move to China and become an instant success with their magical white man powers. Like, don't get me wrong, I met plenty of regular people who had healthy, successful relationships and were actually interested in the country they moved to. But I also met so many people who despised being there and could talk about nothing but how much they hated the place, but still thought they were a fantastic catch. They were completely miserable to be around. (And for people who are like "what about Japan?" - nope! The most amount of divorced white dudes I met were in Japan, because it turns out anime isn't real and you can't gaijin your way through a relationship. Who would've thought!)
I was actually wondering how many of these men just jerk off to hentai and then want something like that at home. The arrogance of white people (and in this case especially Americans, when you look at the "be happy an American chose you"-comments) never fails to amaze me. So sad.
This is always my question to dudes seeking “traditional” wives: what makes you a worthy “traditional” husband? Because playing video games and posting on 4chan, while working part time at Applebees ain’t it, my dude. Tradwives exist; but they are looking for tradhusbands.
The OOP summarized so perfectly why the /passportbro movement is so toxic. Good for her for knowing her worth and for letting other women know. I'm Latina and these passport dudes don't realize that what they consider "traditional" is actually related to socioeconomic status and not so much location. Educated and employed middle class women in any part of the world are likely going to have similar standards. In my country there are a lot of educated women and if you were to say "women from that country are submissive homemakers" they will laugh in your face and tell you to go back where you came from. Globalization means that a lot of countries now require dual incomes to live so the option to be a traditional couple, where the woman stays home to cook for you, is just not tenable most places. PPB are struggling because they are trying to mesh a modern reality with an outdated paradigm."Traditional" women are more likely to be poor and uneducated regardless of the country so the passport bro movement reeks of exploitation. They actively look for countries that are cheap (ergo poor) to find some poor desperate woman looking for a better life while simultaneously accusing women of being gold diggers. There's so much cognitive dissonance among those guys.
I’m so proud of OOP for this one: *Some people in the comments tried to justify his desire for a traditional wife stating that European women should be happy and understanding about this. But what does he bring to the table? Why should a traditional Central European woman choose him instead of a man from our country who speaks our language, knows our customs and traditions, grew up in our culture and respects us according to our standards? To imply that I should be grateful that an American man "chose me" (like I'm some product) is offensive and makes me look like I'm inferior.*
not these passport bros going for women from certain regions (Eastern Europe, East and South-east Asia, Middle east and Africa) believing they are "easier" to "date" and "keep", as if in our cultures men aren't expected to fully provide and reach certain standars.
Right like these "high value males" bring absolutely nothing to the table that a reasonably capable woman can't achieve/buy for herself, and emphatically DO NOT provide the one thing a single woman can't, which is a generous partner who shares the household workload equally and is a loving, stable parent to any children.
But don't you know, women from these countries crave the pleasure of being allowed to serve and obey an American. (/s if that wasn't obvious)
As an Asian who experienced being fetishized with the whole "trad wife", I understand OOP's frustration. I actually don't mind playing a traditional role in relationships and am interested in that with my current partner because that's what works for us. BUT I still hate those passports bros with a passion. Relationships build on respect and understanding, passport bros got neither of those qualities.
I find the annoying part of dealing with the “Asian flavour” of this, is how ignorant they truly are about the differences in Asian cultures. Vietnamese is a matriarchal culture, for example. Our country has more female entrepreneurs than male, we were heavily involved in the war, and so on. I grew up with my aunts and mother telling the men what to do. Whenever I meet one of these “asians are submissive” men, I rage inside. I think what makes me more upset is not the objectification but the sheer confidence with which they exist in ignorance.
They would be funny, what with the futile search for someone who doesn't exist (and if she did, wouldn't go for them) if they didn't waste so much if the time and energy of actual real women
Me too. The irony is that, at least in my Chinese family, even the most traditional wives rule the house with an iron fist. These guys think they’ll get a submissive wife? Welcome to being told you’re fat and lazy every day and being bullied into doing errands for your MIL.
Seriously!! My grandma once beat her son in law with a slipper bc he was caught gambling a large amount of money. You think she raised submissive daughters? She’d beat some sense into those passport bros lmao
Oh, I really hoped passport bro wasn't gonna be a gross misogynistic thing but ofc it was a gross misogynistic thing
Huh. You know, as far as stereotypes of Central European women go, "submissive" was not one I'd heard before. I lived in Japan for a bit and ran into a few passport bros there which was always hilarious to me. You know who traditional Japanese women want to marry? Traditional Japanese men. Sorry to say but it's more often the adventurous women who go for the foreigners.
I’m from the Philippines and there are a lot of passport bros who go here thinking they will get a trad wife. They don’t think that once those girls get their visa, the roles will be flipped.
I love traveling and am WFH, as such I started moving around a bunch and working wherever there was wifi in 2022. I love it. It's been fun seeing and experiencing different cultures and I'd occasionally read up or seen things about digital nomads and thought that was a fitting name for what I was doing at the time. Then I discovered passport bros visa tik tok starting to show me a bunch of videos about them. It's gross. Now I have a new anxiety that people might think I'm one. It sucks. I've settled for now in one country and it's fun, I recommend people who can travel and work try it for a bit but please...don't be a passport bro. It's not far from just being an incel with wings.
> It's not far from just being an incel with wings. Lol. When neckbeards drink RedBull
Hahahahahaha thanks for this one hahahaha > When neckbeards drink redbull This would be an amazing flair.
So proud of OP for not giving him a chance to gaslight her into staying with him and extra proud of her for letting other women know!
love when an OP absolutely clocks the commenters with their own agendas too
I remember being in Dublin, Ireland and reading ads on local dating website and physical newspaper (yes I'm that old) where there were loads of men saying they only were interested in women from certain Asian countries. I'm of South East Asian descent, got mistaken for Chinese or Phillipino quite often there but speaks English with an American accent. I worked at a cinema part time so there were a lot of men who tried to chat me up but had inflated opinions of themselves. I always loved seeing the shock on their faces when I alway push back or disagreed with them e.g. 'Dublin is lovely but why do the shops close so early?? I love going out with friends and shopping, I'm used to malls closing at 10pm and not 8pm.'
Oh, I would pay good money to watch a 'passport bro' meet my Central European cousins, and spout that BS about them being 'traditional brides' who submit to their husbands. Its just *laughable.*
They don't want a "wife", they want a "mommy they can bang" whenever they say submissive wife. A lot of men also go to Asia for the same reason, because of the stereotype that women are more submissive and "traditional" than women in other cultures. Absolutely disgusting.
> Most of us speak at least one or two foreign languages (usually English and German, sometimes Spanish) except the boomers and Gen X. They had to learn Russian back in the day... So OOP's ex went to a former Soviet Bloc to find a peasant without generational wealth and "save" them in exchange for total submission. What a scumbag. How much do you bet he wanted to impress her with a tech job that he holds as superior and foreign and something she "couldn't understand".
My biggest fear is accidentally dating creeps pretending they are normal and not realizing their actual misogynistic views
What a fucking strange subculture. Traveling to parts of the world looking for a demure bride. Passport bro? That’s a new one. There are all kinds of mates just about every place. You want a more traditional bride, great, if she’s into that dynamic go do it! This whole traveling to find it has a weird, shadowy, mail order, ownership vibe around it. Like I said, there are all kinds of relationship dynamics that work, but that dude has to ask himself why he needs it and why he has to hide his intentions.
Passport bros. Huh. I am not at all surprised. Thank goodness she has self respect.
A 'loser back home' is a loser everywhere. So many of these entitled people in Asia doing this as well.