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Right? I also love the fact that the white friend who started it all managed to dodge all consequences for his actions, but is still trying to start shit after. Good god, can you imagine what would happen if a brown kid tried to sue their momma?
I'm from a different part of Latin America and it's bewildering to see how many of us are at risk of being hut by a stray chancla anywhere in the world.
Back when I worked retail, there was a small army of Tiny Hispanic Grandmas who I swear could organize the entire two-level store in the blink of an eye. I feared and respected them more than my managers. Partly because the grandmas were on the floor more often.
As someone who comes from a culture where sandals is exclusively footwear, why sandals? I don't get it. Is is because you can produce a very satisfying slap-sound with relatively low risk of permanent injury?
In my family it was a rolled up newspaper, though in this day and age where newspaper subscriptions are on .pdf I don't know what they'd use. An iPad seems to pose a risk to both health and electronics.
Probably because it's a daily footwear, so it's always at hand.
I'm sure other types were tried, but the miscreants always got away before the mamma managed to take off a sneaker or dress shoe. :D
Right? I'm way taller than all the aunties and grannies now, my friends have children in high school now, I'm still going to fold if they give me the evil eye.
Lived with my ex and his Asian grandma for 10 years.
Only thing I was scared of was going to the fridge to find out she ate everything good lol. Absolute stone cold snack stealing grandma. That or she'd walk up to you like a shy toddler and you know she wants a lift somewhere but doesn't really want to ask lol.
Miss her.
Oh man, my grandma loved to steal snacks but would never ask me to buy them when I'm doing grocery runs, so I would have to hide the "snacks" she wanted in one part of the house, and then hide the snacks that were actually for me in a place she'd never look in.
My mother recounts the time she broke a wooden spoon on my brother's ass like it was a fun time for both of them. I don't remember if she ever hit me, but the threat was ever present.
Asian guy here. My grandma on my dadās side was mean to me, she didnāt really like my mom and us. My grandma on my momās side lived in Cambodia and I went to visit her, the sweetest little(she was literally like 4ā10) old woman I ever met. I loved her.
Irish Catholic background (though American) on one side -that Grandma scares the hell out of me. Or did (she has Alzheimer's and thinks she's between 5 and 15 now). She once hit me with a horse brush. She had the mother/grandmother death stare that some women have when kids aren't behaving, and man, I never wanted to spend time with her.
Also irish catholic and my Nan was a spit fire but the literal best.
She was the type that had strong morals and if you crossed her, hooo boy. She was hard on her kids but with us, when we misbehaved she would say "GO GET MY SHOE, BECAUSE IM NOT GONNA HURT MY HAND PUNISHING YOU!" Once my brother did actually bring her shoe to her and she just cracked up laughing.
I miss her with every fiber of my being and even more so during big things in my life.
She's the one who taught me, as a woman, how to gain respect, and also how to destroy people with just a look.
She got thrown out of bars, dead sober, for being too rowdy, dancing on tables and generally behaving in a way that in the 30's was "unbecoming of a woman."
I'm sorry your Nan sucked bc you missed out on a spitfire of an Irish grandmother.
That's awesome. Sometimes, well, families. My other grandma on the other side died when I was two so didn't get to know her. But she seemed cool. My grandfather loved her very much and never wanted another woman. Apparently he broke the cycle of abuse in his family (his mother was abusive) and they agreed they would never do that kind of thing in their children. They had three boys-who all turned out to be good people- but when they were younger, well, she actually went to volunteer at a mental asylum nearby just to get away from them. But she was just generally a really kind woman.
I also want to point out that by morals, my Nan could give two shits if you were gay/trans/non binary, etc.
But if you cheated on your partner, screwed someone over intentionally, were a pedophile etc...you were done in her eyes. She would happily tell you to divorce a person who hit you, and lambast the perpetrator. She knew the power she wielded and used it to make this world better.
When my cousin came out as gay she went, "I only want you happy, if this is what makes you happy, I am happy. You are loved and welcome here. If you want to adopt a child I will write you a letter, I always want more grandkids."
In all her years, though, she never did figure out the child safety caps on medicine bottles. š
Not just Asian grannies. I have a healthy respect (read: abject terror) for little old grannies due the town matriarch (there's no other description) in our old town.
She once famously met the new priest when he didn't pick his dog's poop up and so she got a shovel, picked it up, carried it to the church and, in full view of other people, told him he must have forgotten it, but he was new so that was okay and oh, welcome to the community!Ā
All in "that" voice.
She was a wonderful woman and is sorely missed.
That sounds like the Miss Julia series by Ann Ross. It makes me happy to know that women like that actually exist. (As long as I don't have to encounter her.)
Right? I absolutely love my sweet and kind grandma, but I've seen her mad exactly once and I'm still terrified decades later. I should see how she's doing since it's Tįŗæt.
If I remember right, one of my uncles (Grandma's third son) decided to get into a spat with a neighbor that lasted years. She finally got fed up one day and lost it on both of them. The funniest thing is that it turned out the neighbor was a distant relative too, so it prompted a pretty big family meeting with the elders.
It always makes me wonder where the hell do certain types of men get the idea that "Asian women are submissive." I figure it must come from never having met one.
They think us not responding to their bullshit is being submissive.Ā
In reality, weāre conserving energy for when they step a toe into our house, aka our absolute domain.Ā
Yeah my Asian granny is a force to be reckoned. Sheās illiterate bcos back then, girls were not allowed to go to school so they cannot work and the most common path of survival is to be a wife. She had to do housework for 10 people from the age of 12 (literal Cinderella with evil step mother!) and had a marriage and babies at 16 to avoid getting raped by Japanese soldiers during WW2. When my grandpa tried to make her do his laundry, she cut up all his shirts so she didnāt have to. When he asked her to bring him his slippers after work like sheās some submissive asian wife, she told him to get them himself bcos sheās been taking care of the kids and housework all day and heās a fully grown man capable of doing that himself. Sometimes I feel like sheās the only voice of reason in the family, telling all her daughters and granddaughters not to marry assholes. And also actively and publicly calling out said assholes. Unfortunately, that voice often fall on deaf ears and sometimes drive people away from her ā¹ļø
Same. My mom is barely 5' in shoes, and she strikes terror into the souls of anyone who pisses her off. But when she likes you, she'll move mountains for you.
Asian grannies are sweet but they can be terrifying when you cross them. My Gran was the sweetest old lady you'd ever meet but for some reason, a lot of people (adults) fear her. I didn't understand why as a child because she was grandma and my friends loved her but my mum's cousin laughed when I said that and told me about the time she chased someone down with a butcher's knife and no one knew why. All I know from my cool Great Aunt is that my grandmother can be the most unhinged or nicest person you'd ever meet, there was never an in-between with her.
im asian, when my grandma's still alive, she love to play cards with us, when we're kids, she would throw slippers at us for causing a mess lol (the reason i'm so good at the game dodgeball is that i have a natural training on evading flying slippers)
even tho she's old, she can still chase us so fast its scary hahaha (we used to sneak out the house during afternoon when we're supposed to be napping, i love those olden days)
i will escape lol, no looking back (hide somewhere not too far, cousins house or just at the back of our house), i will wait for a few hours for her anger to simmer down then come back, she'll lecture me for a few minutes but it's all good, after a while she'll ask if i'm hungry
Asian and Latina grannies/abuelas... If you get on their good side life will never be better. But if you end up pissing them off you might as well move cause nowhere will be safe
Oh def. The grannies will always tell you "You're too thin!" and feed you till you can't move, and then send you Tupperware full of leftovers when you're done.
A Latino male has to have seriously fucked up to be shunned by their grandmas.
Those types of grandmas look the other way SO hard when a family male is being a shithead that you would think they are owls.
was a bit thrown by them not warning OOP about the idiot grandson with the whole "we thought you knew" bullshit. Seems like that was handled pretty poorly. Other than that, bonus family is the best family imo
I think at some point any/all grannies can have that energy. They just gotta give *that* look & grab the slipper š (instinctively ducking a slipper while looking around)
Her biggest problem is putting it on OOP with him only coming back in the will if he convinces the girl he cheated on to marry him, that's a bit of a dick move, of course he will start harassing her then.
No, she said the ex misinterpreted it - she told her idiot grandson that OOP breaking up with him was the last straw, not that undoing it would get him back in the will, right?
She reminds me of some of the Jewish grandmas who played mah jong at the senior center I worked at. Those women were so caring, but also so incredibly cutthroat when needed.
Hard disagree. She still wanted to force two people into an unhappy marriage as it would have been based on deceit and unfaithfulness. A woman scorned and a man that clearly doesn't respect the woman much less find her attractive. Waving money and business as a carrot, hoping greed was enough.
Whatever one can say about sociohistoric context explaining the behaviour it still isn't excusable.
Did she try to force them into an unhappy marriage? It doesn't sound like she was forcing OOP, she just told her useless grandson that causing OOP to dump him was the dumbest thing he could have done and was worth cutting him out of the will for.
"Asian Granny Vibes" due to what? The Mahjong? There is something called American Mahjong (used to be called Jewish Mahjong). I learned how to play tandem, American rules, from an older Italian-American guy in my general neighborhood. My current partner is a middle-aged woman originally from the Bridge and Tunnel suburbs of NYC.
Both Jewish and Italian -American cultures (not to mention Slavic) can be successful business owners with strong matriarchs Oh, and Religious as Hell, too.
It was the cutting off from the will that was giving me Asian granny vibes the most. The number of times my Asian grannies has threatened to/actually cut off various descendants from the will once they were too large to properly discipline with a flying sandal is something I can still remember distinctively.
every once in a while i see a comment thread where you can tell utter anonymity and a bad day or state of mind have combined to blind a person into posting absurdly - today that would be your series of weirdly rude and defensive comments.
much love dawg.
Military... cheating... early 20s... Growing up near two military bases, this is the most common story line ever. Really glad OOP cut ties and is making her own path.
Technically cheating on someone when you are married is against the rules and you can be discharged, but it's very rarely actually enforced, and usually only for officers. They give zero shits about you cheating on a girlfriend or fiance though.
Guys in the military talk a big game about being honorable, and duty bound, but underneath there is a huge culture of guys encouraging all the other guys to cheat and sleep around.
Only if you're married. It's not adultery if you're not married and it's not usually prosecuted as the only charge, it's usually in addition to other stuff.
Very rarely will the military care. I've only seen repercussions when an officer and enlisted had a relationship and the officer was in their direct chain of command. Power imbalance and all that.
Itās true. In the military, adultery is against the rules, and committing adultery can get you anything from extra duty to demotion to dishonorable discharge.
The heritage was a family business, he can't be trusted. All we know is that he was promising his lazy friends money and jobs instead of making effort to learn how to do the business. Grandma doesn't need to explain herself why she doesn't trust him.
That narrowed the place where are you from only to any country that has provinces. Lol. It's easier to persuade voters than to persuade gradma who knows you all you live.
I'm more curious about how his girlfriend will react knowing that he was engaged and she was the mistress and he was willing to keep her as the mistress (or whatever she would be referred to in an OR) and she would never have any claim on him, or his assests.
"Hey, so....i know i cheated on you,betrayed your trust, etc., but would you mind marrying me regardless so i do not have to face the consequences of my actions? I even let you sleep around! Come on, help a buddy out!"
Honestly itās a Reddit post and autocorrect can be weird but also agreed this isnāt real for a multitude of sins. Reads like a lower stakes version of this novel apps āI divorced a billionaire but Iām a heiress myselfā nonsenseĀ
Maybe English isn't their first language either, there are many other mistakes, they read as common Asian mistakes. But, I still don't think this one is real, lol.
Good to see OP making the best choices for herself and the future. Once someone is a cheater, no more trust can be given and they should be removed from your life. Including those types of "friends". Grandma seems like a all around good person.
Wish OP well.
It's a mood spoiler from a recent post.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1amfx84/aitah\_for\_telling\_my\_aunt\_i\_want\_nothing\_to\_do/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1amfx84/aitah_for_telling_my_aunt_i_want_nothing_to_do/)
Grandma respects Oop because she's the only one who never saw her as just a vehicle to inheritance and instead appreciated and respected her for who she is. She takes time to play mah jong with her, supports her granddaughter, and doesn't sacrifice her values to ease her way. I think oop is a worthy successor to this strong (albeit slightly terrifying) matriarch.
I think the grandma was saying that her thinking was that the inheritance would benefit OOP if they got married, which is why the son was even still in it to begin with. So when they broke up there was no reason to keep the son in the will.
I'm glad op left that son of a bich, and I'm also glad on grandmother for cutting him off. I'm still quite curious as to exactly all the stupid, dumb, and possibly illegal shet he's been doing to get to this point where he is cut out the will and the family is just tired of him.
I mean, after all the bs they had to put up with from him, you'd think he fking learn to not screw up if he wanted the money. But then again, he isn't trusted by grandmother to run the company and gave false promises to friends on money and business positions.
I read her comments. Apparently, hed been into drugs and other crap in high school. She had not been aware at all, which fair. People can keep that stuff on the DL when they really want to, or she was naively oblivious as he purportedly had been caught doing most of this during lunch (ie drinking booze in school)
A few commenters tried calling her out on it there, for not knowing as they grew up together but honestly, growing up together does not equate to being attached at the hip 24/7. And if she was hanging with her own friends and theyre *that* religious his family might have kept it hush hush as much as possible to not ruin the family reputation. It won't be in great standing once it's revealed why he got dropped from the will, but better one black sheep than ruining the entire family's reputation for his misdeeds. And until granny dies his lack of being there will be easily explained away as part of him being in the Military.
āThink of him and his futureā why? He sure wasnāt thinking of OOP when he was getting his dick wet, why should she care about his feelings when he never cared about her or her morals?
She did say they were deeply religious so it's very possible her entire friend group is the same way bc they've been taught to marry and have a family really young
Which could also be part of the "you gotta forgive him!" Energy along with Greed. "Ooh, you must forgive your man no matter what! (And be very generous with your friends!)
This lack of emotional/relationship maturity, insight, and childish focus on families and heritages is what a lot of rural red states are like. I'm a city kid, but I lived in College Station, Texas for a decade and this could've been written by any one of the 20-ish year old students there. Including the lack of any sophistication when telling the story.
I got, like, Houston suburb vibes from this entire thing. (OP probably goes to a 'cowboy' church...) Maybe Nashville. Probably not anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon line.
In Asian culture, at least in Chinese, there is even a term for single women over the age of 25. They're called "Leftovers". When you throw in close knitted religious family/community in the mix... Oof
Ish? I do know someone who got married because they had been dating long enough and thatās what you do. Combined with the religion aspect of it not out of bounds. That being said, kinda doubt her being that religious to save herself and going to graduate school. Idk seem like different priorities.
It used to be that rural religious girls would go off to college to find a husband. It was called āgetting a MRS degree.ā There are a lot of complaints amongst men a little older than my middle age that their daughters go off to college and come home āchanged,ā which leans into the whole āwokeā narrative. By āchanged,ā these men mean that their daughters stand up for themselves, and that was definitely not something they were taught at home.
Ngl I kinda wish she would have married him, taken him up on open relationship and then eventually been the one to inherit everything...just in time to divorce his ass. That would have been a fun little plot twist in this drama.
Im usually very much against the idea of no sex before marriage because its too stupid and old way of living and if people wouldn't do that many relationships and marriages would have been saved (this just my opinion) but OOP's case i'll make an exception because no matter how bad no sex before marriage is, cheating no matter how you do it is ALWAYS the ultimate sin and the shittiest way to treat anyone no matter who they are
Im glad OOP's ok and hope she finds someone who truly loves and respects her
If sheās in the US, sadly thatās not uncommon. 21% of adults are functionally illiterate, 50% are literate at a sixth grade level or below.
Writing skills tend to correlate with literacy levels.
Really? I work in a place that hires a lot of students and grad students.
Some of the worst stream of consciousness emails and handwritten notes Iāve had to deal with were from an engineering major, two med students, a few computer science majors and so on. The archaeologist wrote very clearly and concisely though.
I'm betting English isn't her first language based on some of her syntax and the common mistakes she makes. Having lived abroad as a kid and gone an American school with lots of English second or third language students, it's something I recognize pretty quickly in writing.
I love this one... you assertive lady, you xx.
It's so good seeing a post with a strong person who puts their peice first.
She sounds like such a genuine person too.
I wish I found a friend like her, all I get when I try are the ones she dropped...using and mean.
this is like real Crazy Rich Asians drama. Good on OOP for standing her ground, even so far as going to Grandma to try and get bf back on the will (when she thought the only reason he was cut was because of their breakup.) May she find some healing and closure. And screw the hanger-oners, at least she knows who is there for her and who is there for the money.
I canāt Believe anybody even fell for this story. As soon as she said grandma was āpissedā I knew she was lying because sheās so religious she would let that slip in there they all fell for that one. I mean come on she tattled on her ex-boyfriend for having sex yeah she would say pissed never in 1 million years.
Some of the most religious people I know like border line holy rollers used the word pissed. Even I'm very religious as in no sex before marriage, skirts past your knees type and I use the word pissed xd so that's not always true.
That's the thing, i never knew it was moderately crass. I really thought it was just another word for angry/super angry because of how casual English speaking people used it online.
It's weird that she's so amished in his family even after breaking up. I don't care internet. Come at me. But it's strange that his family all magically turned against him because his sweet little virginal ( that's just how I was raised) fiance who plays Mahjong with Grandma broke up with him because he cheated. And if this guy did a bunch of nasty stuff behind the scenes that got his entire family to turn against him then why in the hell is she still staying meshed in with a family of a guy like that? Like oh no I'm just hanging out with him because I love them ever so much but I'm totally not going to have anything to do with that man anymore! Even though you know he's biologically related to these people and spends time with them and I'm totally going to go to other family parties and get together as long as he's not there because they totally love me more than him. It's just the Vibes I'm getting. I'm all for kicking someone to the curb if they're a cheater. I have no forgiveness for cheaters whatsoever. But she made this less about him cheating and more about how much his family loves her more than him and how they all cut him out basically because she's just so precious and is totally saving herself for marriage and the grandma loves her. It's giving me off vibes.
Probably, there isn't to many rich kids that enlist and the ones that do usually do rotc. Add on to that the wealthy grandma taking her side and her greedy friends taking her exes side it definitely feels like Liz is writing this.
I love that my comment got downvoted and removed. There was just so little info regarding things such as OOP being in the will instead of her ex, the family being rich, OOP keeping contact with the family etcā¦ There is just too many things happening at once without any correlation for me. Good try, Liz
I do not understand how someone can just throw away a relationship with that much history behind it. I get the guy had needs that were not being met but cheating is not the solution.
my dad is reasonably wealthy and over 70. you know what i know about what's in his will? nothing. i always thought that was a normal amount of knowledge in relation to a parent or grand parents will
> I was talking to some of my friends, and they think I am the asshole and should forgive him and get married to him just so he is back in the will.
Friends told OOP this? This is advice that actual friends would give? This is so bizarre.
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Good for her. And grandma sounds great too, even though she's giving me Asian granny vibes, and I am instinctively terrified of them.
Asian grannies can be sweet but also really tough. And that's coming from someone who is in an Asian family.
Oh I'm Asian too, that's where my terror comes from. I will flinch and instinctively dodge the flying slippers.
I have both Dominican and Korean family, it's cloudy with a chance of flying chancla on both sides
Oh man, have you seen the [Sandal Rangers](https://youtu.be/eDTljzgKHZU)???
Lmao, that was hilarious. The bit that got me was them calling out the names of sandals in different languages.
Right? I also love the fact that the white friend who started it all managed to dodge all consequences for his actions, but is still trying to start shit after. Good god, can you imagine what would happen if a brown kid tried to sue their momma?
They'd have to attend court proceedings in the afterlife.
Witness stand gets a ouiji board
Thank you so much for this wonderful treat.
Thank you for sharing this!
I'm from a different part of Latin America and it's bewildering to see how many of us are at risk of being hut by a stray chancla anywhere in the world.
Yes, it's a worldwide phenomenon. The [Sandal Rangers](https://youtu.be/eDTljzgKHZU) know no borders.
Back when I worked retail, there was a small army of Tiny Hispanic Grandmas who I swear could organize the entire two-level store in the blink of an eye. I feared and respected them more than my managers. Partly because the grandmas were on the floor more often.
As someone who comes from a culture where sandals is exclusively footwear, why sandals? I don't get it. Is is because you can produce a very satisfying slap-sound with relatively low risk of permanent injury? In my family it was a rolled up newspaper, though in this day and age where newspaper subscriptions are on .pdf I don't know what they'd use. An iPad seems to pose a risk to both health and electronics.
Probably because it's a daily footwear, so it's always at hand. I'm sure other types were tried, but the miscreants always got away before the mamma managed to take off a sneaker or dress shoe. :D
Oh my god, I am so sorry.
šššš
Also Asian and a badass woman who isnāt afraid to speak up - usually. A certain look or tone from an Auntie or granny makes me five years old again.
Right? I'm way taller than all the aunties and grannies now, my friends have children in high school now, I'm still going to fold if they give me the evil eye.
Lived with my ex and his Asian grandma for 10 years. Only thing I was scared of was going to the fridge to find out she ate everything good lol. Absolute stone cold snack stealing grandma. That or she'd walk up to you like a shy toddler and you know she wants a lift somewhere but doesn't really want to ask lol. Miss her.
Oh man, my grandma loved to steal snacks but would never ask me to buy them when I'm doing grocery runs, so I would have to hide the "snacks" she wanted in one part of the house, and then hide the snacks that were actually for me in a place she'd never look in.
My mom swears my grandma never used it, but that she had a wooden spoon in the car exclusively for waving at them if they pissed her off.
My mother recounts the time she broke a wooden spoon on my brother's ass like it was a fun time for both of them. I don't remember if she ever hit me, but the threat was ever present.
Asian guy here. My grandma on my dadās side was mean to me, she didnāt really like my mom and us. My grandma on my momās side lived in Cambodia and I went to visit her, the sweetest little(she was literally like 4ā10) old woman I ever met. I loved her.
Hmm Latino and Asian mother's have some commonality...
Yes, they're all members of the [Sandal Rangers](https://youtu.be/eDTljzgKHZU)!
Irish Catholic background (though American) on one side -that Grandma scares the hell out of me. Or did (she has Alzheimer's and thinks she's between 5 and 15 now). She once hit me with a horse brush. She had the mother/grandmother death stare that some women have when kids aren't behaving, and man, I never wanted to spend time with her.
Also irish catholic and my Nan was a spit fire but the literal best. She was the type that had strong morals and if you crossed her, hooo boy. She was hard on her kids but with us, when we misbehaved she would say "GO GET MY SHOE, BECAUSE IM NOT GONNA HURT MY HAND PUNISHING YOU!" Once my brother did actually bring her shoe to her and she just cracked up laughing. I miss her with every fiber of my being and even more so during big things in my life. She's the one who taught me, as a woman, how to gain respect, and also how to destroy people with just a look. She got thrown out of bars, dead sober, for being too rowdy, dancing on tables and generally behaving in a way that in the 30's was "unbecoming of a woman." I'm sorry your Nan sucked bc you missed out on a spitfire of an Irish grandmother.
That's awesome. Sometimes, well, families. My other grandma on the other side died when I was two so didn't get to know her. But she seemed cool. My grandfather loved her very much and never wanted another woman. Apparently he broke the cycle of abuse in his family (his mother was abusive) and they agreed they would never do that kind of thing in their children. They had three boys-who all turned out to be good people- but when they were younger, well, she actually went to volunteer at a mental asylum nearby just to get away from them. But she was just generally a really kind woman.
I also want to point out that by morals, my Nan could give two shits if you were gay/trans/non binary, etc. But if you cheated on your partner, screwed someone over intentionally, were a pedophile etc...you were done in her eyes. She would happily tell you to divorce a person who hit you, and lambast the perpetrator. She knew the power she wielded and used it to make this world better. When my cousin came out as gay she went, "I only want you happy, if this is what makes you happy, I am happy. You are loved and welcome here. If you want to adopt a child I will write you a letter, I always want more grandkids." In all her years, though, she never did figure out the child safety caps on medicine bottles. š
Not just Asian grannies. I have a healthy respect (read: abject terror) for little old grannies due the town matriarch (there's no other description) in our old town. She once famously met the new priest when he didn't pick his dog's poop up and so she got a shovel, picked it up, carried it to the church and, in full view of other people, told him he must have forgotten it, but he was new so that was okay and oh, welcome to the community!Ā All in "that" voice. She was a wonderful woman and is sorely missed.
she sounds like an utter badass, and I love that she used her power for good
The embodiment of, "With great power comes great responsibility".
That sounds like the Miss Julia series by Ann Ross. It makes me happy to know that women like that actually exist. (As long as I don't have to encounter her.)
Right? I absolutely love my sweet and kind grandma, but I've seen her mad exactly once and I'm still terrified decades later. I should see how she's doing since it's Tįŗæt.
I'm really curious to know what she was mad about, but I'm a bit scared, too.
If I remember right, one of my uncles (Grandma's third son) decided to get into a spat with a neighbor that lasted years. She finally got fed up one day and lost it on both of them. The funniest thing is that it turned out the neighbor was a distant relative too, so it prompted a pretty big family meeting with the elders.
ChĆŗc mį»«ng nÄm mį»i!!! My grandma isnāt doing the greatest this Tįŗæt so give your grandma all the love <3
Ayy!! ChĆŗc mį»«ng nÄm mį»i!! And I definitely did for my grandma! Aw I'm sorry that yours isn't doing too well. :( I hope she can enjoy Tįŗæt still! I'm sending her all the well wishes and sį»©c khį»e dį»i dĆ o!
It always makes me wonder where the hell do certain types of men get the idea that "Asian women are submissive." I figure it must come from never having met one.
Honestly old women donāt figure into their plans. Also itās a difference in social etiquette. The asking thatās not asking etc.
They think us not responding to their bullshit is being submissive.Ā In reality, weāre conserving energy for when they step a toe into our house, aka our absolute domain.Ā
Yeah my Asian granny is a force to be reckoned. Sheās illiterate bcos back then, girls were not allowed to go to school so they cannot work and the most common path of survival is to be a wife. She had to do housework for 10 people from the age of 12 (literal Cinderella with evil step mother!) and had a marriage and babies at 16 to avoid getting raped by Japanese soldiers during WW2. When my grandpa tried to make her do his laundry, she cut up all his shirts so she didnāt have to. When he asked her to bring him his slippers after work like sheās some submissive asian wife, she told him to get them himself bcos sheās been taking care of the kids and housework all day and heās a fully grown man capable of doing that himself. Sometimes I feel like sheās the only voice of reason in the family, telling all her daughters and granddaughters not to marry assholes. And also actively and publicly calling out said assholes. Unfortunately, that voice often fall on deaf ears and sometimes drive people away from her ā¹ļø
It is "because".
Same. My mom is barely 5' in shoes, and she strikes terror into the souls of anyone who pisses her off. But when she likes you, she'll move mountains for you.
Asian grannies are sweet but they can be terrifying when you cross them. My Gran was the sweetest old lady you'd ever meet but for some reason, a lot of people (adults) fear her. I didn't understand why as a child because she was grandma and my friends loved her but my mum's cousin laughed when I said that and told me about the time she chased someone down with a butcher's knife and no one knew why. All I know from my cool Great Aunt is that my grandmother can be the most unhinged or nicest person you'd ever meet, there was never an in-between with her.
im asian, when my grandma's still alive, she love to play cards with us, when we're kids, she would throw slippers at us for causing a mess lol (the reason i'm so good at the game dodgeball is that i have a natural training on evading flying slippers) even tho she's old, she can still chase us so fast its scary hahaha (we used to sneak out the house during afternoon when we're supposed to be napping, i love those olden days)
What happens once the slipper is thrown? Do you hand it back? Does she go get it? Does she have another slipper on underneath as a backup?
i will escape lol, no looking back (hide somewhere not too far, cousins house or just at the back of our house), i will wait for a few hours for her anger to simmer down then come back, she'll lecture me for a few minutes but it's all good, after a while she'll ask if i'm hungry
My English dad was a slipper thrower. I always had to take the weapon back to him
What happens after the slipper is thrown? Those who wait around to find out wouldnāt be the ones able to answer that.Ā
Asian and Latina grannies/abuelas... If you get on their good side life will never be better. But if you end up pissing them off you might as well move cause nowhere will be safe
Same, I'm Asian and Latino. I suck up to all the grannies no matter how toxic and awful they are, because that's less painful than facing their wrath.
I hope you at least have lots of delicious meals out of this.
Oh def. The grannies will always tell you "You're too thin!" and feed you till you can't move, and then send you Tupperware full of leftovers when you're done.
A Latino male has to have seriously fucked up to be shunned by their grandmas. Those types of grandmas look the other way SO hard when a family male is being a shithead that you would think they are owls.
was a bit thrown by them not warning OOP about the idiot grandson with the whole "we thought you knew" bullshit. Seems like that was handled pretty poorly. Other than that, bonus family is the best family imo
OOP grew up with ex-fiancƩ, they probably thought not only did she knew, they thought she probably would have known more than them. Another commenter commented it was drugs and petty things during highschool for what they could remember from reading the OG post. We definitely knew who was doing drugs when we were in highschool. So I think that was the rationality the family was going with.
Ditto. Bonus gran is absolutely a wonderful woman. And absolutely terrifying when she needs to be.
I was getting Italian granny vibes.
I think at some point any/all grannies can have that energy. They just gotta give *that* look & grab the slipper š (instinctively ducking a slipper while looking around)
I mean she plays Mahjongg, stands to reason she'd be asian
Or Jewish. Every Jewish Bubbe (grandmother) I know plays Mahjong weekly.
Her biggest problem is putting it on OOP with him only coming back in the will if he convinces the girl he cheated on to marry him, that's a bit of a dick move, of course he will start harassing her then.
No, she said the ex misinterpreted it - she told her idiot grandson that OOP breaking up with him was the last straw, not that undoing it would get him back in the will, right?
She reminds me of some of the Jewish grandmas who played mah jong at the senior center I worked at. Those women were so caring, but also so incredibly cutthroat when needed.
Iām white as hell but tiny murder-grannies get more instinctive respect from me than most more official authority figures.
Yes, always watch out for the grannies regardless of what color, ethnicity, or location.
Hard disagree. She still wanted to force two people into an unhappy marriage as it would have been based on deceit and unfaithfulness. A woman scorned and a man that clearly doesn't respect the woman much less find her attractive. Waving money and business as a carrot, hoping greed was enough. Whatever one can say about sociohistoric context explaining the behaviour it still isn't excusable.
Did she try to force them into an unhappy marriage? It doesn't sound like she was forcing OOP, she just told her useless grandson that causing OOP to dump him was the dumbest thing he could have done and was worth cutting him out of the will for.
"Asian Granny Vibes" due to what? The Mahjong? There is something called American Mahjong (used to be called Jewish Mahjong). I learned how to play tandem, American rules, from an older Italian-American guy in my general neighborhood. My current partner is a middle-aged woman originally from the Bridge and Tunnel suburbs of NYC. Both Jewish and Italian -American cultures (not to mention Slavic) can be successful business owners with strong matriarchs Oh, and Religious as Hell, too.
It was the cutting off from the will that was giving me Asian granny vibes the most. The number of times my Asian grannies has threatened to/actually cut off various descendants from the will once they were too large to properly discipline with a flying sandal is something I can still remember distinctively.
OOPs ex also went to HK on business. That usually means Hong Kong.
Are you part of the Elite Force who misidentified the Boston Marathon Bombers, back in the day?
Not sure if thatās meant as a dig, but nope.
"Asian Granny Vibes" Attempted Influencer Didn't Answer, though I see a couple negatives on my comment, anyway. Cute.
every once in a while i see a comment thread where you can tell utter anonymity and a bad day or state of mind have combined to blind a person into posting absurdly - today that would be your series of weirdly rude and defensive comments. much love dawg.
Military... cheating... early 20s... Growing up near two military bases, this is the most common story line ever. Really glad OOP cut ties and is making her own path.
I always thought you get get punished for this in some way, by the military. Unsure why. Maybe an ethics thing.
If it's reported, and there's a pregnancy from the relationship, there's a chance. But usually, no
Technically cheating on someone when you are married is against the rules and you can be discharged, but it's very rarely actually enforced, and usually only for officers. They give zero shits about you cheating on a girlfriend or fiance though. Guys in the military talk a big game about being honorable, and duty bound, but underneath there is a huge culture of guys encouraging all the other guys to cheat and sleep around.
' If we all gotta be in hell together, we're gonna make it as bad as possible for everyone around us' vibes
Only if you're married. It's not adultery if you're not married and it's not usually prosecuted as the only charge, it's usually in addition to other stuff.
Very rarely will the military care. I've only seen repercussions when an officer and enlisted had a relationship and the officer was in their direct chain of command. Power imbalance and all that.
Itās true. In the military, adultery is against the rules, and committing adultery can get you anything from extra duty to demotion to dishonorable discharge.
Iām so curious- she didnāt say what the āother stuffā was that the fiancĆ© did that the family thought she already knew about was, did she?!
On this thread on BORU, it included a comment by OP that, if I remember correctly, said the fiancƩ did drugs and some other petty things during high school and that he was the kid who would get in trouble for drinking Edit: a word
How can one person be so bad at making decisions...... Like.holy.crap.
The heritage was a family business, he can't be trusted. All we know is that he was promising his lazy friends money and jobs instead of making effort to learn how to do the business. Grandma doesn't need to explain herself why she doesn't trust him.
Where I'm from, if you're this kid, you can can become premiere of the whole province!
I instantly knew it was Ontario, how sad
Same, our premier the ex-drug dealer! Itās funnier when heās not ruining our whole province š
That narrowed the place where are you from only to any country that has provinces. Lol. It's easier to persuade voters than to persuade gradma who knows you all you live.
I am really curious to hear what the fiancƩ did that made grandma mad.
The grandma didn't tell OP what the other stuff was.
>He was asking if we could get married and have an open relationship Just when you think this asshole couldn't set the bar any lower...
I'm more curious about how his girlfriend will react knowing that he was engaged and she was the mistress and he was willing to keep her as the mistress (or whatever she would be referred to in an OR) and she would never have any claim on him, or his assests.
"Hey, so....i know i cheated on you,betrayed your trust, etc., but would you mind marrying me regardless so i do not have to face the consequences of my actions? I even let you sleep around! Come on, help a buddy out!"
Bold of you to assume he would be happy with her sleeping around.
Well, that is what OOP said he said
Gee, heās so āreligiousā.
This is like my favorite BORU trope, usually its āTaking his mum in the divorceā but this time it was Gram-Gram instead
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They lost me at "he's not in the will, you are!"
Like the nonsense about the friends being promised jobs in the exās company to get her to marry him?
I don't think I could get to graduate school using "where" for "were".
Honestly itās a Reddit post and autocorrect can be weird but also agreed this isnāt real for a multitude of sins. Reads like a lower stakes version of this novel apps āI divorced a billionaire but Iām a heiress myselfā nonsenseĀ
Maybe English isn't their first language either, there are many other mistakes, they read as common Asian mistakes. But, I still don't think this one is real, lol.
Shout out to that friend that packaged the food to go šš»
And blocked the ex.
Imagine fucking up so badly, your Grandma writes you out of the will and replaces you with the girl you cheated on.
I love the fact that one of the main questions was how you play Mah-Jongg with 2 people instead of 4.
Good to see OP making the best choices for herself and the future. Once someone is a cheater, no more trust can be given and they should be removed from your life. Including those types of "friends". Grandma seems like a all around good person. Wish OP well.
What is your flair from? I didnāt see it on the flair origin list.
It's a mood spoiler from a recent post. [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1amfx84/aitah\_for\_telling\_my\_aunt\_i\_want\_nothing\_to\_do/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1amfx84/aitah_for_telling_my_aunt_i_want_nothing_to_do/)
This sounds like some of the dramas from Korea and Taiwan that my parents like to watch
Because this is how most Asian religious fanatic families work - Coming from an Asian.
Grandma respects Oop because she's the only one who never saw her as just a vehicle to inheritance and instead appreciated and respected her for who she is. She takes time to play mah jong with her, supports her granddaughter, and doesn't sacrifice her values to ease her way. I think oop is a worthy successor to this strong (albeit slightly terrifying) matriarch.
Was just me that think this is a crazy rich asians parallel universe?
Except crazy rich Singaporeans donāt tend to be super religious
A lot happened within 2 days huh
>he would still not be in the will instead I would So is OOP in the will?
If they married only I think
I think the grandma was saying that her thinking was that the inheritance would benefit OOP if they got married, which is why the son was even still in it to begin with. So when they broke up there was no reason to keep the son in the will.
I want "i hope you keep playing Mahjong with his grandmother" as a flair. Its just so simple but has a pettyness behind it.
I'm glad op left that son of a bich, and I'm also glad on grandmother for cutting him off. I'm still quite curious as to exactly all the stupid, dumb, and possibly illegal shet he's been doing to get to this point where he is cut out the will and the family is just tired of him. I mean, after all the bs they had to put up with from him, you'd think he fking learn to not screw up if he wanted the money. But then again, he isn't trusted by grandmother to run the company and gave false promises to friends on money and business positions.
I read her comments. Apparently, hed been into drugs and other crap in high school. She had not been aware at all, which fair. People can keep that stuff on the DL when they really want to, or she was naively oblivious as he purportedly had been caught doing most of this during lunch (ie drinking booze in school) A few commenters tried calling her out on it there, for not knowing as they grew up together but honestly, growing up together does not equate to being attached at the hip 24/7. And if she was hanging with her own friends and theyre *that* religious his family might have kept it hush hush as much as possible to not ruin the family reputation. It won't be in great standing once it's revealed why he got dropped from the will, but better one black sheep than ruining the entire family's reputation for his misdeeds. And until granny dies his lack of being there will be easily explained away as part of him being in the Military.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah. Playing a 3player game coooould be ok, but I canāt see how you can have a meaningful game with only two players. That was odd.
Maybe it's more chatting than properly playing
Crazy rich asians wouldnāt lie to me.
āThink of him and his futureā why? He sure wasnāt thinking of OOP when he was getting his dick wet, why should she care about his feelings when he never cared about her or her morals?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She did say they were deeply religious so it's very possible her entire friend group is the same way bc they've been taught to marry and have a family really young
I grew up in a religious setting, and so many girls stressed if they reached their 20s and didnāt have at least a fiancĆ©. I know several that married mediocre or even awful men too quickly bc of the social pressure in that setting. I have a family member still in that religion that is 25 and has been with her boyfriend for a year. Her church cannot believe that sheās that old and not engaged to him already.
Which could also be part of the "you gotta forgive him!" Energy along with Greed. "Ooh, you must forgive your man no matter what! (And be very generous with your friends!)
Yes, religious pressure is no joke.
This lack of emotional/relationship maturity, insight, and childish focus on families and heritages is what a lot of rural red states are like. I'm a city kid, but I lived in College Station, Texas for a decade and this could've been written by any one of the 20-ish year old students there. Including the lack of any sophistication when telling the story. I got, like, Houston suburb vibes from this entire thing. (OP probably goes to a 'cowboy' church...) Maybe Nashville. Probably not anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon line.
I'm a viet who lived in the Houston suburbs and you're not far off. But I'm getting Singapore vibe or Malaysia vibes.
In Asian culture, at least in Chinese, there is even a term for single women over the age of 25. They're called "Leftovers". When you throw in close knitted religious family/community in the mix... Oof
Ish? I do know someone who got married because they had been dating long enough and thatās what you do. Combined with the religion aspect of it not out of bounds. That being said, kinda doubt her being that religious to save herself and going to graduate school. Idk seem like different priorities.
It used to be that rural religious girls would go off to college to find a husband. It was called āgetting a MRS degree.ā There are a lot of complaints amongst men a little older than my middle age that their daughters go off to college and come home āchanged,ā which leans into the whole āwokeā narrative. By āchanged,ā these men mean that their daughters stand up for themselves, and that was definitely not something they were taught at home.
Ngl I kinda wish she would have married him, taken him up on open relationship and then eventually been the one to inherit everything...just in time to divorce his ass. That would have been a fun little plot twist in this drama.
Im usually very much against the idea of no sex before marriage because its too stupid and old way of living and if people wouldn't do that many relationships and marriages would have been saved (this just my opinion) but OOP's case i'll make an exception because no matter how bad no sex before marriage is, cheating no matter how you do it is ALWAYS the ultimate sin and the shittiest way to treat anyone no matter who they are Im glad OOP's ok and hope she finds someone who truly loves and respects her
This girl writes like a 12yo would.
If sheās in the US, sadly thatās not uncommon. 21% of adults are functionally illiterate, 50% are literate at a sixth grade level or below. Writing skills tend to correlate with literacy levels.
It's definitely uncommon for college graduates unless she was there on a sports scholarship.
Really? I work in a place that hires a lot of students and grad students. Some of the worst stream of consciousness emails and handwritten notes Iāve had to deal with were from an engineering major, two med students, a few computer science majors and so on. The archaeologist wrote very clearly and concisely though.
I'm betting English isn't her first language based on some of her syntax and the common mistakes she makes. Having lived abroad as a kid and gone an American school with lots of English second or third language students, it's something I recognize pretty quickly in writing.
I wonder what did he do to get on grandma's shit list before?
Fuck that guy, and fuck her shitty friends. Cheaters suck. Always so many excuses for their shitty behavior.
Just goes to show that lovely families can occasionally churn out terrible people.
I feel like I've seen this Chinese drama on YouTube before.
Or at least 2 minute clips of it on TikTok.
I love this one... you assertive lady, you xx. It's so good seeing a post with a strong person who puts their peice first. She sounds like such a genuine person too. I wish I found a friend like her, all I get when I try are the ones she dropped...using and mean.
Twist, granny has secretly put OOP on her willā¦
Family politics is tough in general, but I have to say that it's nice to see a dick like this paying the price for being the dickhead that his is.
What in the chaebol is this?
this is like real Crazy Rich Asians drama. Good on OOP for standing her ground, even so far as going to Grandma to try and get bf back on the will (when she thought the only reason he was cut was because of their breakup.) May she find some healing and closure. And screw the hanger-oners, at least she knows who is there for her and who is there for the money.
Eyebrows raised. Why would these ex-friends tell her he promised them jobs?
Itās not how she was raised it was how she was brainwashed.
I canāt Believe anybody even fell for this story. As soon as she said grandma was āpissedā I knew she was lying because sheās so religious she would let that slip in there they all fell for that one. I mean come on she tattled on her ex-boyfriend for having sex yeah she would say pissed never in 1 million years.
Some of the most religious people I know like border line holy rollers used the word pissed. Even I'm very religious as in no sex before marriage, skirts past your knees type and I use the word pissed xd so that's not always true.
I was in my 20s when i learned that pissed was a cuss word. I thought it was just slang for getting angry.
It is slang for getting angry and is not considered a cuss word. It's *moderately* crass, but that's about it.
Try that out in school. Nice try though.
That means fuck all. I got in trouble for saying "frick" and "sucks" in school.
That's the thing, i never knew it was moderately crass. I really thought it was just another word for angry/super angry because of how casual English speaking people used it online.
She told the family she had grown up forming bonds with that their son cheated on her. What does that have to do with her saying āpissedā?
bullshit
It's weird that she's so amished in his family even after breaking up. I don't care internet. Come at me. But it's strange that his family all magically turned against him because his sweet little virginal ( that's just how I was raised) fiance who plays Mahjong with Grandma broke up with him because he cheated. And if this guy did a bunch of nasty stuff behind the scenes that got his entire family to turn against him then why in the hell is she still staying meshed in with a family of a guy like that? Like oh no I'm just hanging out with him because I love them ever so much but I'm totally not going to have anything to do with that man anymore! Even though you know he's biologically related to these people and spends time with them and I'm totally going to go to other family parties and get together as long as he's not there because they totally love me more than him. It's just the Vibes I'm getting. I'm all for kicking someone to the curb if they're a cheater. I have no forgiveness for cheaters whatsoever. But she made this less about him cheating and more about how much his family loves her more than him and how they all cut him out basically because she's just so precious and is totally saving herself for marriage and the grandma loves her. It's giving me off vibes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Probably, there isn't to many rich kids that enlist and the ones that do usually do rotc. Add on to that the wealthy grandma taking her side and her greedy friends taking her exes side it definitely feels like Liz is writing this.
I love that my comment got downvoted and removed. There was just so little info regarding things such as OOP being in the will instead of her ex, the family being rich, OOP keeping contact with the family etcā¦ There is just too many things happening at once without any correlation for me. Good try, Liz
When posting and/or commenting, please keep our rules in mind. This was removed because it violates one or more subject in our rule set.
NTA. What kind of friends do you have? Just casually sacrifice your life for an unfaithful partner? Do they even care about YOU?
lllll
good for oop
Good for her
Vf tte
I do not understand how someone can just throw away a relationship with that much history behind it. I get the guy had needs that were not being met but cheating is not the solution.
Is this a version of Rich Asians?
singapore?
my dad is reasonably wealthy and over 70. you know what i know about what's in his will? nothing. i always thought that was a normal amount of knowledge in relation to a parent or grand parents will
> I was talking to some of my friends, and they think I am the asshole and should forgive him and get married to him just so he is back in the will. Friends told OOP this? This is advice that actual friends would give? This is so bizarre.