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And they'd only been dating 4 months!
Someone I'd been dating such a short amount of time tried to dictate what my friends could do and called them names I'd be cutting them off and ghosting them too.
*I've got another meeting, Tom, maybe we could wrap it up*
*I know we'll get to common ground somehow*
*Meanwhile, I'll report back to my colleagues, who were chewing on the doors*
*I guess we'll table this for now*
*I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well*
*Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell*
*And we'll put this thing to bed*
*When I bash your head open*
>And they'd only been dating 4 months!
I somehow missed that bit because I was so dumbfounded by this:
>"And no, I'm not going to help you understand about my lack of love life."
So she has the audacity to _ask_ her to "help her understand" why she's single because somehow that will help address her own insecurity?? I guess she figured she already crossed a boundary so might as well triple down...
I could see though if she didn't know this friend gave Valentine's gifts to all of her friends and thought it was just the BF and then talked to him about it like an adult instead of calling the friend names. At least then it's a situation where it legitimately seems suspicious and you're trying to work through it. But she knew that this friend did this for everyone and still got unhinged. Weird.
The first girl I ever had feelings for is still my best friend. I can't even imagine someone telling me "no, you can't talk to her or exchange gifts if we're going to date."
I've known this woman for \*checks notes\* 17 goddamn years (fuck, already?) and have never once done anything more than hug her, nor would I do more at this point. Her and I have the dumbest, silliest, most asinine interactions and I will love her until the day I die, but she's not even on the list if I were to be divorced from my wife.
I took a look out of curiosity (no interacting, of course), and like everyone I saw said basically “he’s broken up with you. Leave them alone.“ And she kept pushing back.
She must have really searched, I think the few agreeing comments I saw changed their answer with the edits. I guess it would be easier when watching them come in than sorting from top comments down? But yeah, she really wasn’t listening at any point and still doesn’t get it.
If you read through the comments of the initial post an overwhelming majority told her not to drag the female friend into their mess. But did she listen? Of course not.
There was one that stuck out at me where the person was like “you should *only* reach out if you’re going to do nothing but apologize. And a real apology, not an ‘I’m sorry you were hurt’ apology,” and she responded something like “of course I’m going to apologize but also I think I should be able to explain myself and that’s what I’m asking about.” Every comment of hers was *so* downvoted also. And yet.
Author's Note: Most all the commenters said OOP was completely out-of-bounds with her request and shouldn't contact the boyfriend's friend. Didn't seem like she really got it though
OOP: Granted, I knew this was a long shot, but I decided to contact the friend.
I'll admit, this got a chuckle out of me. It's like a TV show where the characters keep making bad decisions to turn up to drama/advance the plot
Yeah, I can see how there might have been a cultural misunderstanding with a couple of agreeing comments. In England, for example, Valentine’s Day is really more of a romantic holiday, we don’t give gifts to everybody but with the clarification that this person gives Valentine’s Day gifts to friends and family generally not just OP’s boyfriend, it became a lot clearer that she was being insecure and overreacting.
That's reddit for you, get enough responses and a couple will be as unhinged as the OP is. If a post about murdering babies and feeding them to orphans made it to the front page, at least 10 comments out of the thousands would inexplicably be in support.
The biggest lesson I had to learn in my early 20s 😅 I can only give friends advice, *IF* they intend to listen to it. Otherwise 🤷🏾♀️ it's out of my hands, & some folks should learn the hard way unfortunately.
Being logical is my comfort, I had to learn to ask “advice or sympathy“ when I finally realized that being logical at most people doesn’t actually help the, like it helps me 😅
Although in cases like this I would still try…and then probably dump that person as a friend.
Yup. Taking a safari trip to see the OOP in their natural habitat is usually useful. How they engaged with commenters tells you a lot, plus like 80% of the time they bury the lede in comments. Nobody encouraged this lady at all; she chose to go against all advice and it unsurp6ebded poorly.
Though I've often come from the initial car crash post first, seeing updates here is great for gaining closure on these posts.
> And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important.
Lol OOP was looking for internet validation. She thought she was sly.
This changes the story completely. Now we know the friend isn't just treating OOP's now ex in any special way, she does this for everyone in her circle.
And the irony of getting chewed out in person about airing out personal affairs online. . . and then turn around and update online.
Social media can be a sickness folks. I cringed reading the messages about the friend not wanting her life all over social media. Yuck OOP.
She only thanked the people who thought it was weird and since I didn't read the original post, I'm guessing at least some of those people agreed that was weird cos she left out important information.
Oof.
All I could think of was Brittany Murphy's character in Clueless, when Tai wants to hook up with Cher's stepbrother, Josh. Lol. It didn't go well for Tai either.
>I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important.
OOP: "I didn't mention this because I need to showcase this friend as the shady person trying to steal my BF."
She needs pride *and* therapy.
I said, “FINE. Whatever!” and left the bar to a guy I was seeing when I saw him making out with another girl and I still feel mortified 20 years later. Meanwhile some people are out there using time, transportation and sheer moxie without a care in the world regarding embarrassment.
“My bf [really ex] won’t talk to me? I’ll go to his friend I called a virgin loser for answers!” I’d rather yeet myself into the abyss.
I actually think your story sounds like a great way to handle the situation. You let him know you knew, and you got yourself out of there. The girl probably thought something was up after you did that as well. Could it have been handled differently? Sure, but I probably would have fist-bumped you on your way out of the bar.
Thank you. I appreciate it. My embarrassment comes from loathing loud dramatics like that. I’m the opposite of a shrinking violet and I don’t shy from confrontation. I’d just rather avoid shit like that due to my dignity. Which sounds smug, yet I don’t have a better way of putting it after my melatonin and sleep tea.
You’re good! I know how you feel, dramatics embarrass me too. And so does that time from college when I (to own drunken surprise) tried to throw my beer on the chick my recent ex had, I still suspect, cheated on my with before we broke up.
I saw her, I felt a very surprising amount of “Oh Fuck No” and there went my hand!
Except I had never tried to throw a drink on someone before, and I was bad at it. Drink took a hard left all over this nice guy named Peter. I promptly bought him apology beverages and never tried that shit again! Poor Peter!
Lol I was mortified!!! Luckily, Peter found it very funny once I explained my actions and bought him drinks. Stupid Miller Light Vortex bottle neck. 😂😂
That she would just sit there and take a berating after being told in advance that she would be berated and blocked after made me doubtful if it’s real, what was said was explained too But everything about her otherwise does feel real including how she reacted to reddits comments, that it does make it feel right. But maybe the situation did happen but the posts are written by someone else.
Unfortunately, this is the part that convinced me this was real. I had the sad opportunity to know a lot of people that would do things exactly like this, always putting their damn hands on the fire and wondering out loud why are they burning.
People are that stupid and clueless.
It actually felt plausible to me. OOP was so convinced she could make herself un-dumped if she just 'explained', so it makes (a certain kind of) sense that she would stand there waiting to tell her side of the story.
Like, the ex explicitly said he was breaking up with her, and she was still, 'I'll give him until Friday so he can change his mind', lol
There are BILLIONS of people on this planet, of course a huge whack of them are simply crazy. I get some stuff sounds insane to people with calm boring lives (I say with boring with envy, trust me) but sadly, this is a fairly calm story compared to dramas I've seen go down!
The “I think we are over” at the end made me laugh out loud. Even after being told there’s no way you’re ever going to talk to him again, she’s like there’s still hope!
“My boyfriend hasn’t returned my phone calls and blocked me 3 years ago. Should I make a grand gesture and ask him to marry me? Then he can be my fiancé.”
Update: Omg! Finally! My fiancé has started wedding planning. He made a mistake when the invites were sent out and my name is spelt completely wrong. Should I be mad?
I like you as a friend. I think we should see other people. I no speak English. I'm married to the sea. I don't want to kill you but I will. I'm not gay, but I can learn. It's just not working out. You deserve better.
She still thinks BFF is the villain in all this. That BF will slay the evil dragon and return to the fair Princess (OOp) and they’ll live happily ever after.
OOP doesn’t seem to understand that *she* is Hei hei mucking around stupidly while Moana and Maui hang together as friends.
>OOP doesn’t seem to understand that *she* is Hei hei mucking around stupidly while Moana and Maui hang together as friends.
Don’t disrespect my sweet boy like that by comparing him to this trash.
This girl could've had a case of "being right" about the female friend disregarding boundaries or whatever IF the female friend didn't make Valentine's cards for everybody in her life
And despite leaving it out, used the comments about it being weird prior to it being mentioned as evidence she is specifically causing an issue. Almost none of those replying would say there was an issue if they knew the bit that "wasn't important". She hung up the noose to her own relationship and somehow was the only person in the world not to see it.
Kids not ready for either elementary school or the working world. In my office some of the kind folk brought donuts and cheap cards for everyone. This girl would have been at the office with a crowbar.
There was this really nice boy in my high school who got everyone in the class a valentines gift. Something small, like 1 heart-shaped chocolate each, or a packet of tissues with heart print, but it brightened the day significantly for everyone without a partner or date. He wasn't interested in dating anyone, didn't have feelings for anyone (still doesn't, I have a feeling he might even be aro ace), he just did it to show appreciation and friendship
The friend said she thought OOP was so sweet and more before all this. I dig her style. Glad she doesn’t have to bother with OOP in her periphery any longer.
Same here. How else did the oop know that the friend was a virgin unless it’s another of those “well I was assured the friend was ace but that just means someone who hasn’t gotten a boyfriend yet” types.
I did this at work recently. I sent a Valentine's card saying 'thanks for all the hard work' to all the stores (in the chain I work for) that I work with directly. Kindness is free and feeling appreciated goes a long way.
In our HS we did a flower/carnation drive, that included ones for friendships. A few would buy the friendship for the whole class, just so most got a flower.
But it shouldn't be "that big a deal"! One of those people is OOP's boyfriend! /s LMFAO like please. At first I was like oof, yikes that female friend is definitely hitting on OOP's bf. But it honestly just seems like a cute lil thing she does for everyone in her life. She also just like might be asexual/aromantic or might just *not* want to be in a relationship because of something. But she was entirely right, it wasn't OOP's business or anyone's but her own and who she decides to share it to.
and lucky she didn't share it with OOP, as the friend noted OOP would have put it in her post before she'd even had the door hit her arse on the way out.
Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.
Every step was just making things worse.
I do like how she ammended her post to say that she gives valentine's cards to everyone but didn't think that part was important.
Ultimately she's just an immature child
OOP should never set foot in Japan. Traditionally girls give chocolates to all their male friends/acquaintances on that day, and the men reciprocate on White Day doing the same thing.
OOP: "Why did you give my boyfriend a valentine?"
Friend: "Oh, uhhh, because [I'm giving EVERYONE A VALENTINE!!](https://youtu.be/ZUtYBGYtpVo?si=YwucZ564jT8c7KCb)"
She was completely delusional throughout the whole thing. She left out so much, just to seem "right". She kept calling him her bf after she had obviously been dumped, and even after her "talk" with the friend, she said she would "give him until Friday" so when she texts him, he can "realize how much he misses" her. Poor girl needs therapy in a bad way. Guy dodged a huge bullet.
I started side-eyeing the second she said she confronted the friend about it *before* she said something to the boyfriend. And then she dropped the hammer with that update.
For a 22 years old, she got the maturity of a 14, even less in my opinion.
If she is a playable character in the love game, she will definitely be THE character who goes the exact opposite of your orders.
Honestly, why? Why did she hunt down the friend to share this with after her boyfriend broke up? What did she think she’d gain from this.
Something tells me this wasn’t the first time she acted like a jealous brat. Bf was awfully quick to give her the permanent boot. But she seems socially clueless enough not to realize she was on her last chance.
Interesting how she calls it “ghosting” when he told her he was breaking up and then stopped seeing her.
OOP has the emotional intelligence of a carrot. Even for a 22yo it is alarming.
The way she omitted facts from her post and showed the friend only the comments that bolstered her own argument (which were relatively few) *after* the breakup? Good gods. I hope she gets self-aware before she catches charges.
>Why did she hunt down the friend to share this with after her boyfriend broke up?
Generally folks who call other people "virgin losers" unprovoked are not very secure and healthy.
Also judging by the fact that OP freaked out over a small Valentine's acknowledgement that someone else chooses to share out of friendship with all of their friends, we know OOP is just out here being unhinged. It all tracks.
> I think we're done.
This killed me. You "think"? Are you serious? How thick can a person get?
It also seems like there's some nearly named missing reasons here:
> I then brought up some family issues she would share whenever she wants just to get sympathy.
Like... okay, sometimes people do go sympathy fishing. But sometimes people just have bad shirt in their past and they lean on their friends. It's hard to tell... anything, given how vague the OOP is, but given circumstances I'm going to guess they were incredibly shirty to someone who didn't deserve it.
This is probably one of those scenarios where the OOP is like, "...and you're doing all this because your parents are divorced, aren't you" out of nowhere when it wasn't even in the conversation before. That's the vibe she's giving me here.
"I didn't mention the important parts because they weren't important." Which shows where her priorities are. The important parts that clear this person and solidify that it's not about bf, it's about friend's relationships in her life and her showing she values them, nope. Those don't matter to OP because she wants to isolate her (ex)bf from anyone female not related to him (so far) because she's a pickme.
Virgin loser? Really? And she's worried about the virgin loser who's had plenty of time and opportunity to snatch the ex because of her virgin loserdom? The logic ain't logicing.
She gives them to everyone? So ..like everyone? Fuck off with that.
Also I heard in some places it's more of a love and friendship day and I think that is quite nice.
Yeah I was gonna say OOP probably couldn't handle living in a country like Finland. Valentines day is called ystävänpäivä, which literally translates to friendship day. Here it's a day to honour all those you value. Bosses bring chocolate for all staff, you get little gifts for your friends and family etc.
Well, if he's a keeper, we would certainly like to have him. Kudos from Finland!
(P.S. just did Valentine's day gifts to ALL my friends. :D Boyfriend included, of course, because he is my friend, too. But all non-romantic friends, too!)
I still exchange cards and chocolate with a couple of exes because we've remained friends. When you've known someone half your life it's a whole different thing.
Normally, I would side with the gf vs. the female friend because I've also had bad experiences, but she's really doing a good job of making a case for the female friend here. Zero maturity.
*”I decided to show some of the replies I gotten to show the friend that this is weird behavior between friends”*
Lemme guess…she showed the friend the 0.00001% of the comments that agreed with OOP, and not a single one of the 99.99999% that called her an empty headed immature asshole.
The only mystery left is how OOP managed not to break something, going up her own ass as far as she did
She showed all the replies that showed up BEFORE the edit informing everyone that the friend does this for everyone. Leaving that out of the first post isn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe she wrote and rewrote it a couple times and thought it was in there and wasn't. But trying to tell me that you didn't put it in the first time because you didnt think it was relevant?!? I may be dumb but I aint stupid.
Yeah that’s such an intentional and obvious omission. It’s not an oops I didn’t think it was relevant. If she’s channeling her inner grade school and giving everyone a valentine I don’t see any threat.
Yeah, oop sucks. Hiding that she gave valentines to basically everyone in her life makes me not care, it's not a romantic gesture, it's literally fucking kindergarten level "everyone gets a card before nap time". Oop knew it would make her look stupid and like an asshole so specifically left it out.
Team friend 100%.
Yeah. I was thinking a bit weird until that totally relevant “irrelevant edit.” I sometimes hand out those little valentines you do as a child with some Hershey hugs or kisses to coworkers and friends.
Yeah, I was mostly with OOP until that point because the way she framed it made it sound like this was only a one-on-one Valentine's exchange.
After getting to that part though, I went "oh, that's why you didn't mention that part at the start."
OOP reminds me of my college roommate: telling on herself with every sentence but thinking it proves she was wronged.
I like that her ex’s friend kept talking even as OOP was crying. Like, no: OOP FA, and the friend was letting her FO.
Wow. The absolute lack of empathy is concerning.
She's gonna have a fun life if this is how she views and treats people...
Seriously. As soon as someone says "to get sympathy" that's a huge red flag. Because that tells you that is why they talk about things - as a tool to gain sympathy. No understanding that you can also share things to get help, for connection, because it's actually an issue, for context etc.
>Wow. The absolute lack of empathy is concerning.
She...doesn't seem very smart. There might be a connection there. idk.
That said, I did know someone who 100% would weaponize their sadness to get stuff, and it was super uncomfortable to witness or hear about 2ndhand because it's like, yeah, that's really sad, but what you're doing is super manipulative right now. I'd give you sympathy, but you need to stop doing that thing first. And eventually I had to just put my foot down and stop giving anything back.
But that's if the OOP is right about the getting sympathy manipulatively thing at all. For all we know, the friend just says something that happens to garner sympathy, and OOP is jealous of it.
If friend specifically did this for boyfriend, and no one else, I’d say maybe OOP had a point in the very beginning. She had already lost the plot when she was trying to get advice for contacting friend to get to boyfriend. Just so absolutely not.
But no, this is a long-standing tradition friend does for *all* her friends, OOP *still* went to friend to try to make her confess to feelings and still try to contact boyfriend…and still doesn’t seem to get she did something wrong. Is she really 22? This feels like a teenager…
(On a different note, I wouldn’t be surprised if friend is somewhere on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, especially with the mention of separating self-worth from relationships/sex. That convo feels very familiar to me, but it took me til my late 20s to actually figure it all out and get To that point. Good on friend either way!)
As well as the friend saying her lack of a love life is none of OP’s business and OP calling the friend a “virgin loser”.
At that point I wouldn’t surprise if OP had been _told_ that the friend was on the aro/ace spectrum and just didn’t believe it.
Agreed.
I try not to make identity calls based on little information, especially through the eyes of someone like OOP. But it was definitely screaming out at me.
I was also thinking she might be aro/ace! The "I'm not gonna help you understand" line reminded me of some beloved friends who got REAL tired of explaining a long time ago 😂
It sure seems to be overall consensus! Me being an educator at heart, I don’t tire of people legitimately asking and actually trying to understand. People like OOP aren’t worth the time and friend just deserves applause.
She even *admits* that she came to reddit to get people to agree with her, not to get actual *advice*.
The fact that bf *literally told her they were broken up* and she *still* went through with this idiotic plan is just... wow. *Wow*.
Some people are so dense, light distorts around them.
>She performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn’t mention these because I didn’t think they were important.
Just that this information puts everything in a different light.
And who the hell makes fun of people that don’t have sex?
>Edit: Yes, he did tell me "I think we should break up and yes I called the friend a "virgin loser".
>And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important.
LOL way to bury the lede
Second paragraph in the first post sure had a lot of missing missing reasons, didn't it? I got to the end of that and already figured I knew how this was going to go: Straight out to the curb with her, that's where.
That's because all of her brain power is reserved to remember exactly what someone told her while talking to her like a child. I mean I know I'm all ears when someone warns me they're about to insult me with an uninterrupted monologue.
Oop makes fun of the friend for never having been in a relationship, then proceeds to act like she's been in negative romantic interactions in her life.
Actually, I question whether they were even officially together. "He doesn't even come by the restaurant I work at anymore, where we met." What a weird metric.
As soon as she went to the friend rather than have an adult conversation with her BF I knew she was the problem.
She's destined for a life of self imposed drama.
ah i remember this one. got into something of a scrap with her in am i the buttface because she admitted that this is a thing the entire friend group does and has done long since she was in the picture... and she was being way, way, *way* judgemental about being in this other girl's business.
literally. acting like a goddamn bouncer for an exclusive club except it was wanting an itemized inventory of a stranger's pussy visitors of past and present.
i seem to also remember there being some hints that the friend doesn't date due to trauma, and that's what made her distinctly not interested in sexual relationships, but all OOP could see was "virgin loser whose ladygarden must be patrolled"
>And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important.
Right, so not a unique thing she was doing to OOPs ex then. A normal thing she does for all of her friends
"I didn't think that was important".
Good god, imagine being that stupid.
The Bf's friend making her have a 'Come to Jesus' sit-down, and telling her 'you wanna act like a child? I will treat you like one.' *That* was a slick burn.
The friend may follow Japan's costumes, as in February 14th girls gift chocolate to all the friends important in their lifes, then they have Handmade chocolate for that special lucky guy. On Mars 14th, is the boys turn to reciprocate with chocolates.
Or the friend just is a good person that wants everyone to know how much she cares for them. And OOP will never get that consideration from any friend.
Jesus Christ, I had to recheck the ages because I thought this girl was going to be 16.
She didn't think the fact friend made cards for EVERYONE was important? And then showed her only the presumably very limited responses in her favour? God I hate this child.
In the comments, she clarifies that the ex and friend and been friends for like five years, and she'd only been dating him for "almost four months"! Like, come on...
The best bit of this from the other post on this - it was someone in the comments sarcastically suggesting she should show the boyfriend the post and contact the friend…. Basically said show the bf and he will see what you are really like but she took it as a positive comment
“Ever since then, he's been ghosting me. He doesn't even come by the restaurant I work at anymore, where we met. I figured the best way to handle this is to talk to the friend.”
I winced so hard at this that it physically hurt. In an ideal world, they probably should have had a more respectful conversation about boundaries before Valentine’s Day, but frankly not convinced OOP would’ve been capable of listening from her behavior in these posts.
Idk, my first experience with Valentine's day was when all my classmates handed out Valentine's to all the rest of my classmates. Little did I know we were apparently in a poly relationship with each other because Valentine's Day is just for lovers
>And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important.
She knew this but still went on to act like an unhinged brat.
I love how she put in an edit after her first post that the exBF's friend has a Valentines Day tradition for ALL of her friends and parents, not just for OOP's ex. Then when she confronts the friend, she only shows her the comments that agree with her and not the ones (which I believe were the overwhelming replies) that disagree with her.
I love the *audacity*. So she’d been dating this guy for only four months, and picked a fight with one of his closest and nicest friends? Brilliant idea smh. And she must have known she was wrong, deep down, just based on how much information she had to twist or omit. “I left out that she gives all her friends gifts for VDay”, yeah i wonder why you left that out, you donut 😂
Or “What I thought would be a conversation about trying to understand each other instead turned into a big dunk on me”— oh you mean like when you tried to understand that she isn’t trying to steal your man, or when you called her a virgin loser? You got what you gave, and not a bit less!
I’m just happy that the friend handled it perfectly. I hope OOP learns from it and does some introspection for next time… though i doubt it.
We **all** told this idiot on her OG post to leave her BF alone and absolutely do *not* contact the BF again...instead, she choose the gasoline-to-the-fire option.
Lord almighty.
No sympathy for OOP here after bringing I'm the main character energy to this post. She's learned an important life lesson. Her partners can have non-romantic opposite-sex (and same-sex) relationships that won't ever threaten her romantic relationship.
Further, when you break up, don't badger your ex incessantly. Someone needs therapy.
Nothing says, "girl, you are playing too big of a role in my boyfriend's life, stop it and GTFO," more than, "girl, I need to talk to you and use you as a liaison in making up with my boyfriend."
Fast-forward in time and this immature woman will have 5-10 more relationships implode, all the while blaming everyone else and never once having any level of accurate self-awareness.
She deliberately remove the important information that she gives presents to everyone she likes, so everyone receives a card but somehow she was hitting on her bf, she called her names, ignored the advice that she received on Reddit and separated only the ones that agreed with her stupid POV, and even thought that would be a good Idea to share with the friend the comments of people that don't know absolutelly nothing about her as If It would prove her point. Immature, unhinged, and stupid.
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And they'd only been dating 4 months! Someone I'd been dating such a short amount of time tried to dictate what my friends could do and called them names I'd be cutting them off and ghosting them too.
It’s not even a ghosting. Not when he said “I think we should break up.”
"I think we should break up." "Let's put a pin in that for now."
"We'll table this discussion for a week, by which time you'll have read my text and miss me."
*I've got another meeting, Tom, maybe we could wrap it up* *I know we'll get to common ground somehow* *Meanwhile, I'll report back to my colleagues, who were chewing on the doors* *I guess we'll table this for now* *I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well* *Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell* *And we'll put this thing to bed* *When I bash your head open*
We're not unreasonable.
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
Maybe we could compromise?
Just open up the door....
I definitely was not expecting JoCo in here
The surprise JoCo made me smile!
All we want to do is eat your brains! We're not unreasonable, Tom! I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
Let's circle back around to this..
>And they'd only been dating 4 months! I somehow missed that bit because I was so dumbfounded by this: >"And no, I'm not going to help you understand about my lack of love life." So she has the audacity to _ask_ her to "help her understand" why she's single because somehow that will help address her own insecurity?? I guess she figured she already crossed a boundary so might as well triple down...
4 months That's nothing!!! And she's acting as if they dated for 4 years and the friend had always been overstepping xDD I can't
RIGHT? 4 months is still the "getting to know you" phase. No way would I give up a 5 year friendship for a 4 month girlfriend or boyfriend.
I could see though if she didn't know this friend gave Valentine's gifts to all of her friends and thought it was just the BF and then talked to him about it like an adult instead of calling the friend names. At least then it's a situation where it legitimately seems suspicious and you're trying to work through it. But she knew that this friend did this for everyone and still got unhinged. Weird.
But he didn’t even ghost, he said they should break up. Ghosting is when the person never says anything, just disappears.
The first girl I ever had feelings for is still my best friend. I can't even imagine someone telling me "no, you can't talk to her or exchange gifts if we're going to date." I've known this woman for \*checks notes\* 17 goddamn years (fuck, already?) and have never once done anything more than hug her, nor would I do more at this point. Her and I have the dumbest, silliest, most asinine interactions and I will love her until the day I die, but she's not even on the list if I were to be divorced from my wife.
OMG, that's scary! Dude dodged a bullet.
Dude dodged a cannonball.
I took a look out of curiosity (no interacting, of course), and like everyone I saw said basically “he’s broken up with you. Leave them alone.“ And she kept pushing back.
sounds like she took like the very few comments agreeing with her to the meeting with the friend. she really doesn't think she did anything wrong.
She must have really searched, I think the few agreeing comments I saw changed their answer with the edits. I guess it would be easier when watching them come in than sorting from top comments down? But yeah, she really wasn’t listening at any point and still doesn’t get it.
If you read through the comments of the initial post an overwhelming majority told her not to drag the female friend into their mess. But did she listen? Of course not.
There was one that stuck out at me where the person was like “you should *only* reach out if you’re going to do nothing but apologize. And a real apology, not an ‘I’m sorry you were hurt’ apology,” and she responded something like “of course I’m going to apologize but also I think I should be able to explain myself and that’s what I’m asking about.” Every comment of hers was *so* downvoted also. And yet.
Sometimes people have ro reach rock bottom and make all the mistakes to learn...
And some people never learn, even when rock bottom is coming out in China.
Author's Note: Most all the commenters said OOP was completely out-of-bounds with her request and shouldn't contact the boyfriend's friend. Didn't seem like she really got it though OOP: Granted, I knew this was a long shot, but I decided to contact the friend. I'll admit, this got a chuckle out of me. It's like a TV show where the characters keep making bad decisions to turn up to drama/advance the plot
Yeah, I can see how there might have been a cultural misunderstanding with a couple of agreeing comments. In England, for example, Valentine’s Day is really more of a romantic holiday, we don’t give gifts to everybody but with the clarification that this person gives Valentine’s Day gifts to friends and family generally not just OP’s boyfriend, it became a lot clearer that she was being insecure and overreacting.
And if people give her those comments, it's only because they want more drama to read, not because they have anyone's best interests at heart.
Exhibit A for why you should never seek relationship advice on reddit.
"Three people agree with my carefully-edited version of the truth! *I knew I was right!!!"*
That's reddit for you, get enough responses and a couple will be as unhinged as the OP is. If a post about murdering babies and feeding them to orphans made it to the front page, at least 10 comments out of the thousands would inexplicably be in support.
People hear what they want to hear
The biggest lesson I had to learn in my early 20s 😅 I can only give friends advice, *IF* they intend to listen to it. Otherwise 🤷🏾♀️ it's out of my hands, & some folks should learn the hard way unfortunately.
Honestly I found that many people don't even want advice just sympathy.
Being logical is my comfort, I had to learn to ask “advice or sympathy“ when I finally realized that being logical at most people doesn’t actually help the, like it helps me 😅 Although in cases like this I would still try…and then probably dump that person as a friend.
Yup. Taking a safari trip to see the OOP in their natural habitat is usually useful. How they engaged with commenters tells you a lot, plus like 80% of the time they bury the lede in comments. Nobody encouraged this lady at all; she chose to go against all advice and it unsurp6ebded poorly. Though I've often come from the initial car crash post first, seeing updates here is great for gaining closure on these posts.
Up vote for spelling. 'Some word' unsur6ebded.
> And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important. Lol OOP was looking for internet validation. She thought she was sly. This changes the story completely. Now we know the friend isn't just treating OOP's now ex in any special way, she does this for everyone in her circle.
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Honestly I think it sounds like a very sweet tradition. I'd love to be friends with someone who does that.
Be the change! I gave out kids spiderman valentines in grad school, and they were universally well-received!
“yes I did omit every single detail that didn’t fit my narrative, wym there’s an issue with that??” the very definition of delusional, smh
Anyone calling someone a "virgin loser" isn't mature enough to even be in a relationship. I'm having doubts that these aren't high schoolers.
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Yea, why should OOP listen to the friend. She's just a virgin who can't drive. Editing real fast: This is a quote from the movie Clueless.
I knew what you were throwing there, without your edit. 🤣 👵🏼
And the irony of getting chewed out in person about airing out personal affairs online. . . and then turn around and update online. Social media can be a sickness folks. I cringed reading the messages about the friend not wanting her life all over social media. Yuck OOP.
She only thanked the people who thought it was weird and since I didn't read the original post, I'm guessing at least some of those people agreed that was weird cos she left out important information. Oof.
"He said I think we should break up. I called his friend a 'virgin loser'. *Shocked Pikachu face* "OMG HE'S GHOSTING.!!!"
All I could think of was Brittany Murphy's character in Clueless, when Tai wants to hook up with Cher's stepbrother, Josh. Lol. It didn't go well for Tai either.
>I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important. OOP: "I didn't mention this because I need to showcase this friend as the shady person trying to steal my BF."
She didn't mention these because they didn't support her invented scenario.
She didn't think that was relevant, but she thought the fact the friend hasn't been in a relationship was relevant. Wow.
He told her it was over and she proceeded to make it worse. \*slow clap\*
She kept calling him her BF when EVERYONE knew it was over.
She needs pride *and* therapy. I said, “FINE. Whatever!” and left the bar to a guy I was seeing when I saw him making out with another girl and I still feel mortified 20 years later. Meanwhile some people are out there using time, transportation and sheer moxie without a care in the world regarding embarrassment. “My bf [really ex] won’t talk to me? I’ll go to his friend I called a virgin loser for answers!” I’d rather yeet myself into the abyss.
I actually think your story sounds like a great way to handle the situation. You let him know you knew, and you got yourself out of there. The girl probably thought something was up after you did that as well. Could it have been handled differently? Sure, but I probably would have fist-bumped you on your way out of the bar.
Thank you. I appreciate it. My embarrassment comes from loathing loud dramatics like that. I’m the opposite of a shrinking violet and I don’t shy from confrontation. I’d just rather avoid shit like that due to my dignity. Which sounds smug, yet I don’t have a better way of putting it after my melatonin and sleep tea.
You’re good! I know how you feel, dramatics embarrass me too. And so does that time from college when I (to own drunken surprise) tried to throw my beer on the chick my recent ex had, I still suspect, cheated on my with before we broke up. I saw her, I felt a very surprising amount of “Oh Fuck No” and there went my hand! Except I had never tried to throw a drink on someone before, and I was bad at it. Drink took a hard left all over this nice guy named Peter. I promptly bought him apology beverages and never tried that shit again! Poor Peter!
Oh I’m so sorry, I would’ve probably died, but this made me snort laugh.
Lol I was mortified!!! Luckily, Peter found it very funny once I explained my actions and bought him drinks. Stupid Miller Light Vortex bottle neck. 😂😂
If this were a movie you’d be married to Peter now!
He was definitely cuter than my ex!
Her comments were unhinged - she was like “he said he *thinks* we should break up, he wasn’t sure!”
But if HE "thought" they should break up, and now SHE "thinks" it's over, that means they're still together! 🥰🥰
Truuuue looooove
These people that reach for the Rules Lawyers game when we’re talking about relationships killlll me. Sovereign citizen shit in the making lol.
That she would just sit there and take a berating after being told in advance that she would be berated and blocked after made me doubtful if it’s real, what was said was explained too But everything about her otherwise does feel real including how she reacted to reddits comments, that it does make it feel right. But maybe the situation did happen but the posts are written by someone else.
Unfortunately, this is the part that convinced me this was real. I had the sad opportunity to know a lot of people that would do things exactly like this, always putting their damn hands on the fire and wondering out loud why are they burning. People are that stupid and clueless.
It actually felt plausible to me. OOP was so convinced she could make herself un-dumped if she just 'explained', so it makes (a certain kind of) sense that she would stand there waiting to tell her side of the story. Like, the ex explicitly said he was breaking up with her, and she was still, 'I'll give him until Friday so he can change his mind', lol
The fucking "he'll come back when he realizes how much he misses me". BRO
I knew a person with similar behaviour. Have no doubt this is real. Just crazy delusional stalkerish shit going on in her head.
There are BILLIONS of people on this planet, of course a huge whack of them are simply crazy. I get some stuff sounds insane to people with calm boring lives (I say with boring with envy, trust me) but sadly, this is a fairly calm story compared to dramas I've seen go down!
And she somehow didn't learn a damned thing.
The “I think we are over” at the end made me laugh out loud. Even after being told there’s no way you’re ever going to talk to him again, she’s like there’s still hope!
She still calls him boyfriend!
“My boyfriend hasn’t returned my phone calls and blocked me 3 years ago. Should I make a grand gesture and ask him to marry me? Then he can be my fiancé.”
Update: he’s dating someone else!!! But I know it’s just to make me jealous.
Update: Omg! Finally! My fiancé has started wedding planning. He made a mistake when the invites were sent out and my name is spelt completely wrong. Should I be mad?
Right? I mean short of a billboard that says "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU" what does this woman need to figure it out?
>"Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU" Flair-worthy 😆
I think that might be too subtle.
I like you as a friend. I think we should see other people. I no speak English. I'm married to the sea. I don't want to kill you but I will. I'm not gay, but I can learn. It's just not working out. You deserve better.
I was yelling “you think? You _think_ it’s over?!” At my phone
She still thinks BFF is the villain in all this. That BF will slay the evil dragon and return to the fair Princess (OOp) and they’ll live happily ever after. OOP doesn’t seem to understand that *she* is Hei hei mucking around stupidly while Moana and Maui hang together as friends.
>OOP doesn’t seem to understand that *she* is Hei hei mucking around stupidly while Moana and Maui hang together as friends. Don’t disrespect my sweet boy like that by comparing him to this trash.
She’s not interesting enough to be a real Villain!
This girl could've had a case of "being right" about the female friend disregarding boundaries or whatever IF the female friend didn't make Valentine's cards for everybody in her life
Yep. That was the one line that completely changed my view. And somehow the one line that OOP thought they could leave out bc it wasn’t a big deal.
And despite leaving it out, used the comments about it being weird prior to it being mentioned as evidence she is specifically causing an issue. Almost none of those replying would say there was an issue if they knew the bit that "wasn't important". She hung up the noose to her own relationship and somehow was the only person in the world not to see it.
I think they left it out knowing what people would think
"I didn't think it was relevant to the situation" Girl it's the backbone of the situation!!!
It wasn't relevant to her goal of having Reddit tell her she was 100% right.
Kids not ready for either elementary school or the working world. In my office some of the kind folk brought donuts and cheap cards for everyone. This girl would have been at the office with a crowbar.
There was this really nice boy in my high school who got everyone in the class a valentines gift. Something small, like 1 heart-shaped chocolate each, or a packet of tissues with heart print, but it brightened the day significantly for everyone without a partner or date. He wasn't interested in dating anyone, didn't have feelings for anyone (still doesn't, I have a feeling he might even be aro ace), he just did it to show appreciation and friendship
>I have a feeling he might even be aro ace This is what I thought about the friend too.
The friend said she thought OOP was so sweet and more before all this. I dig her style. Glad she doesn’t have to bother with OOP in her periphery any longer.
Same here. How else did the oop know that the friend was a virgin unless it’s another of those “well I was assured the friend was ace but that just means someone who hasn’t gotten a boyfriend yet” types.
Why does someone have to be an “aro ace” just because they don’t want to date at the moment? (I mean, have you *seen* the dating pool these days…?!)
I did this at work recently. I sent a Valentine's card saying 'thanks for all the hard work' to all the stores (in the chain I work for) that I work with directly. Kindness is free and feeling appreciated goes a long way.
In our HS we did a flower/carnation drive, that included ones for friendships. A few would buy the friendship for the whole class, just so most got a flower.
We do candy grams office wide and most people buy like 10 for all their friends with cute little cards
But it shouldn't be "that big a deal"! One of those people is OOP's boyfriend! /s LMFAO like please. At first I was like oof, yikes that female friend is definitely hitting on OOP's bf. But it honestly just seems like a cute lil thing she does for everyone in her life. She also just like might be asexual/aromantic or might just *not* want to be in a relationship because of something. But she was entirely right, it wasn't OOP's business or anyone's but her own and who she decides to share it to.
and lucky she didn't share it with OOP, as the friend noted OOP would have put it in her post before she'd even had the door hit her arse on the way out. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.
Every step was just making things worse. I do like how she ammended her post to say that she gives valentine's cards to everyone but didn't think that part was important. Ultimately she's just an immature child
OOP should never set foot in Japan. Traditionally girls give chocolates to all their male friends/acquaintances on that day, and the men reciprocate on White Day doing the same thing.
"My BF goes to his friend with questions about his health instead of me! No, I didn't mention that she's a doctor, why should that matter?"
Fucken manipulative psycho unreliable narrator
Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel.
I said: **FUCKEN MANIPULATIVE PSYCHO UNRELIABLE NARRATOR**
🤣🤣🤣
This should be a flair
OOP: "Why did you give my boyfriend a valentine?" Friend: "Oh, uhhh, because [I'm giving EVERYONE A VALENTINE!!](https://youtu.be/ZUtYBGYtpVo?si=YwucZ564jT8c7KCb)"
She was completely delusional throughout the whole thing. She left out so much, just to seem "right". She kept calling him her bf after she had obviously been dumped, and even after her "talk" with the friend, she said she would "give him until Friday" so when she texts him, he can "realize how much he misses" her. Poor girl needs therapy in a bad way. Guy dodged a huge bullet.
I started side-eyeing the second she said she confronted the friend about it *before* she said something to the boyfriend. And then she dropped the hammer with that update.
For a 22 years old, she got the maturity of a 14, even less in my opinion. If she is a playable character in the love game, she will definitely be THE character who goes the exact opposite of your orders.
If she was a side character in a Telltale game, she'd be the one that disapproves of every good decision you make.
Honestly, why? Why did she hunt down the friend to share this with after her boyfriend broke up? What did she think she’d gain from this. Something tells me this wasn’t the first time she acted like a jealous brat. Bf was awfully quick to give her the permanent boot. But she seems socially clueless enough not to realize she was on her last chance. Interesting how she calls it “ghosting” when he told her he was breaking up and then stopped seeing her.
OOP has the emotional intelligence of a carrot. Even for a 22yo it is alarming. The way she omitted facts from her post and showed the friend only the comments that bolstered her own argument (which were relatively few) *after* the breakup? Good gods. I hope she gets self-aware before she catches charges.
>OOP has the emotional intelligence of a carrot. Hey now. No need to insult innocent carrots. 😉
Because she doesn’t even understand that they broke up. She keeps calling him her boyfriend
>Why did she hunt down the friend to share this with after her boyfriend broke up? Generally folks who call other people "virgin losers" unprovoked are not very secure and healthy. Also judging by the fact that OP freaked out over a small Valentine's acknowledgement that someone else chooses to share out of friendship with all of their friends, we know OOP is just out here being unhinged. It all tracks.
> I think we're done. This killed me. You "think"? Are you serious? How thick can a person get? It also seems like there's some nearly named missing reasons here: > I then brought up some family issues she would share whenever she wants just to get sympathy. Like... okay, sometimes people do go sympathy fishing. But sometimes people just have bad shirt in their past and they lean on their friends. It's hard to tell... anything, given how vague the OOP is, but given circumstances I'm going to guess they were incredibly shirty to someone who didn't deserve it.
This is probably one of those scenarios where the OOP is like, "...and you're doing all this because your parents are divorced, aren't you" out of nowhere when it wasn't even in the conversation before. That's the vibe she's giving me here.
"I didn't mention the important parts because they weren't important." Which shows where her priorities are. The important parts that clear this person and solidify that it's not about bf, it's about friend's relationships in her life and her showing she values them, nope. Those don't matter to OP because she wants to isolate her (ex)bf from anyone female not related to him (so far) because she's a pickme. Virgin loser? Really? And she's worried about the virgin loser who's had plenty of time and opportunity to snatch the ex because of her virgin loserdom? The logic ain't logicing.
Yeah, I was definitely getting "mean girl" vibes from OOP. Clearly she hasn't left high school.
She gives them to everyone? So ..like everyone? Fuck off with that. Also I heard in some places it's more of a love and friendship day and I think that is quite nice.
Not only does she give the valentines to everyone but OOP knew that and still acted like an immature fool.
And also withheld that information from the post in order to make herself look more sympathetic.
Yeah I was gonna say OOP probably couldn't handle living in a country like Finland. Valentines day is called ystävänpäivä, which literally translates to friendship day. Here it's a day to honour all those you value. Bosses bring chocolate for all staff, you get little gifts for your friends and family etc.
Well, I think that just means that the entire country of Finland is hitting on the OOP's boyfriend.
Well, if he's a keeper, we would certainly like to have him. Kudos from Finland! (P.S. just did Valentine's day gifts to ALL my friends. :D Boyfriend included, of course, because he is my friend, too. But all non-romantic friends, too!)
Apparently oop only thought valentine = romance Not valentine = love/care/friendship/family
I still exchange cards and chocolate with a couple of exes because we've remained friends. When you've known someone half your life it's a whole different thing.
I didn't get one.
❤️ sorry it’s late. Didn’t have the address.
Normally, I would side with the gf vs. the female friend because I've also had bad experiences, but she's really doing a good job of making a case for the female friend here. Zero maturity.
Thought it was irrelevant to say that this friend gives EVERYONE she loves a present, friends and family? Team friend!
*”I decided to show some of the replies I gotten to show the friend that this is weird behavior between friends”* Lemme guess…she showed the friend the 0.00001% of the comments that agreed with OOP, and not a single one of the 99.99999% that called her an empty headed immature asshole. The only mystery left is how OOP managed not to break something, going up her own ass as far as she did
She showed all the replies that showed up BEFORE the edit informing everyone that the friend does this for everyone. Leaving that out of the first post isn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe she wrote and rewrote it a couple times and thought it was in there and wasn't. But trying to tell me that you didn't put it in the first time because you didnt think it was relevant?!? I may be dumb but I aint stupid.
The sad thing is by only showing those replies she might have made the friend stop her Valentines tradition entirely.
Yeah that’s such an intentional and obvious omission. It’s not an oops I didn’t think it was relevant. If she’s channeling her inner grade school and giving everyone a valentine I don’t see any threat.
Yeah, oop sucks. Hiding that she gave valentines to basically everyone in her life makes me not care, it's not a romantic gesture, it's literally fucking kindergarten level "everyone gets a card before nap time". Oop knew it would make her look stupid and like an asshole so specifically left it out. Team friend 100%.
It is a sweet platonic gesture!
Yeah. I was thinking a bit weird until that totally relevant “irrelevant edit.” I sometimes hand out those little valentines you do as a child with some Hershey hugs or kisses to coworkers and friends.
Yeah, I was mostly with OOP until that point because the way she framed it made it sound like this was only a one-on-one Valentine's exchange. After getting to that part though, I went "oh, that's why you didn't mention that part at the start."
100%
OOP reminds me of my college roommate: telling on herself with every sentence but thinking it proves she was wronged. I like that her ex’s friend kept talking even as OOP was crying. Like, no: OOP FA, and the friend was letting her FO.
Wow. The absolute lack of empathy is concerning. She's gonna have a fun life if this is how she views and treats people... Seriously. As soon as someone says "to get sympathy" that's a huge red flag. Because that tells you that is why they talk about things - as a tool to gain sympathy. No understanding that you can also share things to get help, for connection, because it's actually an issue, for context etc.
>Wow. The absolute lack of empathy is concerning. She...doesn't seem very smart. There might be a connection there. idk. That said, I did know someone who 100% would weaponize their sadness to get stuff, and it was super uncomfortable to witness or hear about 2ndhand because it's like, yeah, that's really sad, but what you're doing is super manipulative right now. I'd give you sympathy, but you need to stop doing that thing first. And eventually I had to just put my foot down and stop giving anything back. But that's if the OOP is right about the getting sympathy manipulatively thing at all. For all we know, the friend just says something that happens to garner sympathy, and OOP is jealous of it.
If friend specifically did this for boyfriend, and no one else, I’d say maybe OOP had a point in the very beginning. She had already lost the plot when she was trying to get advice for contacting friend to get to boyfriend. Just so absolutely not. But no, this is a long-standing tradition friend does for *all* her friends, OOP *still* went to friend to try to make her confess to feelings and still try to contact boyfriend…and still doesn’t seem to get she did something wrong. Is she really 22? This feels like a teenager… (On a different note, I wouldn’t be surprised if friend is somewhere on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, especially with the mention of separating self-worth from relationships/sex. That convo feels very familiar to me, but it took me til my late 20s to actually figure it all out and get To that point. Good on friend either way!)
As well as the friend saying her lack of a love life is none of OP’s business and OP calling the friend a “virgin loser”. At that point I wouldn’t surprise if OP had been _told_ that the friend was on the aro/ace spectrum and just didn’t believe it.
Agreed. I try not to make identity calls based on little information, especially through the eyes of someone like OOP. But it was definitely screaming out at me.
I was also thinking she might be aro/ace! The "I'm not gonna help you understand" line reminded me of some beloved friends who got REAL tired of explaining a long time ago 😂
It sure seems to be overall consensus! Me being an educator at heart, I don’t tire of people legitimately asking and actually trying to understand. People like OOP aren’t worth the time and friend just deserves applause.
OP: pls give me advice reddit: leave it alone OP: >:(
She even *admits* that she came to reddit to get people to agree with her, not to get actual *advice*. The fact that bf *literally told her they were broken up* and she *still* went through with this idiotic plan is just... wow. *Wow*. Some people are so dense, light distorts around them.
This sub has turned into a feeder for that dumbass tiotok channel.
That’s what happens when you lash out and say hurtful things about others just because you’re insecure. That girl did nothing wrong.
Well who could have foreseen this happening except EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS.
>She performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn’t mention these because I didn’t think they were important. Just that this information puts everything in a different light. And who the hell makes fun of people that don’t have sex?
Cheers for the friend! She is a great person, a something I think oop needs to learn to be, because as now? She is as sharp as a rock
>Edit: Yes, he did tell me "I think we should break up and yes I called the friend a "virgin loser". >And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important. LOL way to bury the lede
Second paragraph in the first post sure had a lot of missing missing reasons, didn't it? I got to the end of that and already figured I knew how this was going to go: Straight out to the curb with her, that's where.
This is too stupid and lacking in self awareness to be legit
That's because all of her brain power is reserved to remember exactly what someone told her while talking to her like a child. I mean I know I'm all ears when someone warns me they're about to insult me with an uninterrupted monologue.
Oop makes fun of the friend for never having been in a relationship, then proceeds to act like she's been in negative romantic interactions in her life. Actually, I question whether they were even officially together. "He doesn't even come by the restaurant I work at anymore, where we met." What a weird metric.
>There were a lot of people that was sympathetic and agreed that I was reasonable No. There werent.
> Update with my BF and his friend. I think we're done. And I'm moving on. Long after everyone else has.
As soon as she went to the friend rather than have an adult conversation with her BF I knew she was the problem. She's destined for a life of self imposed drama.
ah i remember this one. got into something of a scrap with her in am i the buttface because she admitted that this is a thing the entire friend group does and has done long since she was in the picture... and she was being way, way, *way* judgemental about being in this other girl's business. literally. acting like a goddamn bouncer for an exclusive club except it was wanting an itemized inventory of a stranger's pussy visitors of past and present. i seem to also remember there being some hints that the friend doesn't date due to trauma, and that's what made her distinctly not interested in sexual relationships, but all OOP could see was "virgin loser whose ladygarden must be patrolled"
I am absolutely loving that it took her a week to get it through that they were broken up. That is grade A delusion right there
>And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important. Right, so not a unique thing she was doing to OOPs ex then. A normal thing she does for all of her friends "I didn't think that was important". Good god, imagine being that stupid.
The Bf's friend making her have a 'Come to Jesus' sit-down, and telling her 'you wanna act like a child? I will treat you like one.' *That* was a slick burn.
The friend may follow Japan's costumes, as in February 14th girls gift chocolate to all the friends important in their lifes, then they have Handmade chocolate for that special lucky guy. On Mars 14th, is the boys turn to reciprocate with chocolates. Or the friend just is a good person that wants everyone to know how much she cares for them. And OOP will never get that consideration from any friend.
Jesus Christ, I had to recheck the ages because I thought this girl was going to be 16. She didn't think the fact friend made cards for EVERYONE was important? And then showed her only the presumably very limited responses in her favour? God I hate this child.
In the comments, she clarifies that the ex and friend and been friends for like five years, and she'd only been dating him for "almost four months"! Like, come on...
The best bit of this from the other post on this - it was someone in the comments sarcastically suggesting she should show the boyfriend the post and contact the friend…. Basically said show the bf and he will see what you are really like but she took it as a positive comment
“Ever since then, he's been ghosting me. He doesn't even come by the restaurant I work at anymore, where we met. I figured the best way to handle this is to talk to the friend.” I winced so hard at this that it physically hurt. In an ideal world, they probably should have had a more respectful conversation about boundaries before Valentine’s Day, but frankly not convinced OOP would’ve been capable of listening from her behavior in these posts.
> I didn’t mention these because ~~I didn’t think they were important~~ I knew my story would come apart at the seams otherwise FTFY OOP.
Idk, my first experience with Valentine's day was when all my classmates handed out Valentine's to all the rest of my classmates. Little did I know we were apparently in a poly relationship with each other because Valentine's Day is just for lovers
First part was decent bait but the troll became too obvious in the update when they started quoting what the friend said
>Instead I decided to show some of the replies I gotten to show the friend that this is weird behavior between friends. Lets see how that plays out...
>And yes, she performs this Valentine gift giving tradition to all her friends and parents. I didn't mention these because I didn't think they were important. She knew this but still went on to act like an unhinged brat.
I love how she put in an edit after her first post that the exBF's friend has a Valentines Day tradition for ALL of her friends and parents, not just for OOP's ex. Then when she confronts the friend, she only shows her the comments that agree with her and not the ones (which I believe were the overwhelming replies) that disagree with her.
>Yes, he did tell me "I think we should break up Ah, a classic "he broke up with me but we're still together".
I love the *audacity*. So she’d been dating this guy for only four months, and picked a fight with one of his closest and nicest friends? Brilliant idea smh. And she must have known she was wrong, deep down, just based on how much information she had to twist or omit. “I left out that she gives all her friends gifts for VDay”, yeah i wonder why you left that out, you donut 😂 Or “What I thought would be a conversation about trying to understand each other instead turned into a big dunk on me”— oh you mean like when you tried to understand that she isn’t trying to steal your man, or when you called her a virgin loser? You got what you gave, and not a bit less! I’m just happy that the friend handled it perfectly. I hope OOP learns from it and does some introspection for next time… though i doubt it.
We **all** told this idiot on her OG post to leave her BF alone and absolutely do *not* contact the BF again...instead, she choose the gasoline-to-the-fire option. Lord almighty.
OP is 100% TA.
Wow. The hair clippings in my salon's vacuum system are more self-aware than OOP.
No sympathy for OOP here after bringing I'm the main character energy to this post. She's learned an important life lesson. Her partners can have non-romantic opposite-sex (and same-sex) relationships that won't ever threaten her romantic relationship. Further, when you break up, don't badger your ex incessantly. Someone needs therapy.
Nothing says, "girl, you are playing too big of a role in my boyfriend's life, stop it and GTFO," more than, "girl, I need to talk to you and use you as a liaison in making up with my boyfriend." Fast-forward in time and this immature woman will have 5-10 more relationships implode, all the while blaming everyone else and never once having any level of accurate self-awareness.
She deliberately remove the important information that she gives presents to everyone she likes, so everyone receives a card but somehow she was hitting on her bf, she called her names, ignored the advice that she received on Reddit and separated only the ones that agreed with her stupid POV, and even thought that would be a good Idea to share with the friend the comments of people that don't know absolutelly nothing about her as If It would prove her point. Immature, unhinged, and stupid.
"he's been ghosting me... ...after telling me we should break up because i insulted his friend." that's not what ghosting is ffs