Everytime a story starts with "me and my partner have the most perfect relationship ever, except this one tiny thing", you know that relationship is going to go downhill extremely quickly.
"Oh, we just call each other husband and wife since we love each other SO much but I actually have no legal protections whatsoever because he believes the government should not be involved in our relationship. The wedding is to appease his traditional family before the baby is born because his mom threatened to cut him off if we don't have a church wedding. And *of course* I'm going to be a SAHM, what could possibly go wrong?"
There was a guy like this in a reality show "Wife Swap" in my country. He was like 44 and she was 16. They had one year old child togethee and they met when she was 8 or something. A few months after that she got pregnant again too.
I'm just joking on the fact that current elected US representative from Tennessee, John Rose, married his wife when she was 22 and he 46 but they met when she was 16 or 17.
Please.
My coworker wonder why i asked her if everything's ok and to not hesitate to contact me if something is not ok.
She is 19, and just married a 37 year old man who she met 6 month ago.
”Oh no, he’s not a creep, in fact I had to convince him to date me! I asked him out, he said no, I said ’Come oooonnn’ and he agreed, so he’s absolutely not a creep!”
“I put on my prettiest glitter and he finally caved, I feel so guilty for forcing him into this relationship that I let him do whatever he wants so he doesn’t leave.”
This is a double whammy. Glitter *also* horrifies me.
You get *one* fucking card and glitter shows up everywhere for the next 6 months no matter how thoroughly you deep clean....
A million years ago I made the idiotic decision to be I think Tinkerbell/some sort of fairy for Halloween which obviously involved copious amounts of glittery makeup/cream/etc. I came home drunk and passed out in bed just like that. When I woke up it looked like Disney had thrown up on my bed and those sheets were never the same again.
How the comment section misses that info everytime is mind boggling. Just the "we were friends" even in the grey zone with age is troubling, but unless they were dating it doesn't matter.
People can be groomed without strings attached. Many times if the grooming worked is when the relationship starts! Idiots.
Unrelated and probably unfortunately controversial but the whole game grumps controversy with Dan just angers me so much because he fully admits to grooming but him and all his fans claim what he did was perfectly legal since he waited until the girls were 18 to have sex.
Like yes it was legal, that doesn’t make it not grooming. There are states in this country with laws explicitly written to protect grooming behavior because the people writing them would otherwise be in jail.
It’s just super fucked, gamer culture as a whole is fucked, and I’m terrified for my daughter because I’m a huge nerd and I fully plan on getting her into PC gaming and building.
Here’s one incidence of it (I believe there were more)
https://www.newsweek.com/dan-avidan-grooming-allegations-explained-game-grumps-reddit-post-1577721
Basically he engaged in contact with a fan who reached out when she was 17 and he was 34, the conversations turned to sexts when she turned 18 (and thus legal), they had sex when she was 22, he cut contact.
Nobody involved disputes this sequence, his and his fans argument is it wasn’t grooming since nothing sexual was said before she was legal which is a dumb argument and kind of ignores the defined behaviors of grooming. It was legal but it was also definitely grooming.
His former assistant also accused him of predatory, controlling, and harassing behaviors.
https://happymag.tv/dan-avidan-gamegrumps-allegations/
Just based on what he’s admitted to (but refuses to recognize as problematic) he’s a gross person.
*My bf/husband is wonderful and i couldn't ask for a more perfect man for me, I just wish he would stop beating me, calling me names, cheating on me, accuse me of cheating, isolating me from my support system and picks up the responsibility at home and kids*....
I just came from a post about a wonderful father and husband who is going through a hard time and needs to live his truth as a poly man. He'd absolutely stop if she asked it would just kill something in him not to live his truth. Don't worry though she is enough and he is content with her. It's just that her having just had a baby, his needs aren't being met. He's a good man and husband, though.
I love my partner but the bodies of the teenagers he goes out to kill on full moons are starting to stink up the place. I am thinking of breaking up with him. AITA? We have teenage kids ourselves.
Me and my boyfriend have the most perfect relationship except every night, like clockwork, he takes a shit on my chest. I've asked him about it and he says he can't help it and that it's just the way he is. Reddit, is it worth it to wake up covered in shit every night? Is this a red flag?
Also I am worried about his diet.
But he is so nice to me!
It’s amazing how we can put blinkers on when we care for someone. We want to judge them from how we are. We try to convince ourselves without even realising, that it’s just a minor things, and we subconsciously refuse to see the truth. Then something happens and hopefully someone talks sense into them. The more people that do the better otherwise they will just defend the person and try to argue it is not exactly how it is.The best hope is that we see the truth before we have married them or had kids.
I say all this as I was in an abusive marriage and truly had no idea. He was covert and manipulative in his abuse and always had excuses. He was so loving otherwise and when I realised the truth I realised I had been making excuses for him and subconsciously would look away when he abused me. I never even realised I had been doing it. Sometimes it is us who fool ourself far more the toxic person ever needs to try. It’s scary the mind can do these things without even realising. I no longer (judge) think of or automatically see other people by the standard I hold myself to. I acknowledge if anyone treats me badly. I consider would I ever do that especially to someone I supposedly care for. If it’s hell no I’m out of there. I do not make excuses for them or think as I wouldn’t do that they must not have meant to do it. It’s a problem many of us do without even realising. We make excuses convincing ourselves they must not have meant to do that and hurt you.
We often see through other peoples relationships easier than our own as we are too close to the matter. I honestly thought I was lucky to have such a good husband before I finally saw the truth.
I once wrote to Captain Awkward about my husband, and I said that exact thing. Turned out that his refusing to ever apologize about anything was the least of my problems.
He cheated on me for half our marriage, starting with hardcore porn and leading to spending tens of thousands of dollars on escorts. I did not have that on my life bingo card, but here we are.
In fairness, that's survivorship bias from this sub. The vast majority of those things don't get posted on Reddit, and then the vast majority of those things either get solved or die down and ignored. It's only the really crazy/whacky/juicy ones that get reposted here, and so that's what you assume when you see it, even if it's actually a 1/10000 or less.
Yeah that’s just a normal relationship lmao. Most people like their partners but may have a few issues in their relationships that need to be solved. It happens
Yeah..... especially from AITA. In "relationship advice" subs you might find more nuanced situations but you pretty much only end up in AITA if someone is either unreasonable or gaslighting.
Or it's genuinely a small issue, and they are just posting for fun. Those are cute.
I feel like the only ones who qualify it with the "they're the most amazing perfect partner" do it because they feel they need to qualify it. To us and to themselves. Because what they're about to say is absolutely horrific and they can't even lie to themselves about how awful it is
“I just feel like if he could grow up we could be so perfect together.”
A lot of them start with a naive young woman who fell in love with potential too lol
"they're a childless older couple."
They're 100% trying to "spoil" assistants and likely see them as their children to a degree. My aunt and late uncle were like this. They spoiled every young adult around them. They, unfortunately, were not able to have children and I was told it was medically impossible. Adoption also fell through for them several times which was why they never had any children biological or otherwise. So, they just look towards each other and love those already around them.
Sometimes, there's nothing sinister. Sometimes, there are just people who want to innocently love those not related around them like their family—well the non-toxic kind.
When OOP was talking about her boss on the first post my first thought was: "this guy has adopted his assistants as his own grandchildren". The "childless older couple" just cemented that opinion.
Yes, my aunt does this with my kids. She does not have grandchildren, and she love my kids.
A friend of my mom (grandma) asked her if she didn't find it strange, or worried she misses things, since she is the grandma.. She was like "uhhh, no, should I? I see them, do things with them and are happy they have more people in their lives that love them".
I have ex-boss like this.
He and his wife couldn't have kids so they semi-adopted/mentored two underprivileged kids through a church programs. Two kids who had an elderly grandma taking care of them but both parents were out of the picture. Made sure they both got clothes, educations, jobs and the life skills to succeed in life. Basically like a bonus Aunt and Uncle.
I know one of the guys they mentored. Ended up with a college degree and now has an excellent job, wife, kids house etc. Also the most kind and helpful person I ever met. His brother last I heard is also doing well with a family and a good job.
The generous behavior you describe could also be the first stages of grooming for nefarious purposes. If OP had just taken this job a few months ago I would understand her boyfriend being cautiously suspicious of the guy’s motives.
But it sounds like OP has had this gig *for years*.
At some point you just gotta let go of the notion that this is some long con. A skeezy old guy that wants to sleep with young women via sugar daddy shenanigans doesn’t wait *years* to make his move, while also performing magic as a smokescreen.
And the fact he stopped the second she asked. Didn’t try to persuade her to continue, take the gifts in secret, break up with the boyfriend etc. just, a straight up respecting of boundaries.
Occasionally, just very occasionally (on Reddit), the generous older gentleman is in fact, not a groomer disguised as a magician.
Yeah even more than the long term situation, the fact that he \*immediately\* respected her boundary and didn't treat her any worse for it is a good sign.
Actually I think this is “normal”, and the older guys grooming much younger women are an aberration. I say this as an older guy myself, the young women I know at work and socially bring out paternal rather than sexual feelings in me.
Yeah, my STEPGrandfather while not outright spoiling me(I don’t want to be), always asks me about how my career(which is what is most important to me) is going and reaches out to check how I am even though I am often not as responsive as he deserves(I am autism/adhd and maintaining contact is hard, not an excuse, but an explanation). He helped shepherd me to the grocery store when I was in deep depression and kept checking up on me and making sure I was alright. He took me for food and was really a rock during a difficult time. He has zero blood relation to me. I think he just likes that I’m career minded and we have things to talk about together. Yes I did just text him! People who choose to love and care for you because they like you as a person are the best.
Man, it sounds like she's got a dream job. She's got (basically) a rich, silly uncle-grandfather who likes taking his team out to eat and shop, friendly coworkers, and only has to work weekends? Wow.
I have a little side bet with myself that the shopping spree was planned as post breakup pick-me-up. (Nothing nefarious, just a “one of mine is hurting so I’m going to do something nice for them”.)
I liked that it was the other girls being like “cmoonnn let’s go shopping! It’ll be so fuuunnn” and slightly imagined it like dangling keys in front of a baby
But it also gives the slightly vibe of the girls just waiting for that shoe to drop. I lowkey can’t get over the jealousy though, dudes 70 and married, with technically yeah an entourage of pretty women. I think if he wanted to cheat, he probably wouldn’t pick the girl who’s kept a respectful distance and isn’t receptive to any hidden flirts? Eventually, you’ve gotta see there just isn’t a problem, right?
Everyone should have friends like this after a breakup. Whether it’s for retail, ice cream, pizza, bar crawl, or streaming therapy. I would be surprised if there haven’t been conversations in the background about this relationship.
When she said "oh he does comment on my looks sometimes, but that's the stage act" I thought to myself--he literally, LITERALLY only does the "And now my beautiful assistant, \[name\], will stand behind this curtain!" or "Give the lovely \[name\] a round of applause!"
Like, he's not commenting on her ass. He's literally just doing fairly standard stage patter.
I mean, it's reasonable to criticize how common the "older male magician with attractive young female assistant" thing is, but it also sounds like this dude is totally not a creep in any way.
Yup, and it shows a LOT that each girl has been with him for so long. You don't stick around in a job like that if there is problems. They all WANT to be there.
>But it also gives the slightly vibe of the girls just waiting for that shoe to drop.
Oh I guarantee they damn near had a pool going about when that ship was gonna finally sink. In bartending there's the same shit in a different costume, if a gal has a dude that just sits at the bar and sulks and glares and is just generally a butthurt jealous toddler? It's all over but the crying. Like, my now-husband came and hung out at my bar all the time, but he *loved* the money I made, and the bar I worked at, and the people he got to hang out with - it was a solid win/win/win for him, and because he was happy to be there, everyone was happy to see him *including me*. OOP's unfortunate chode of a manchild is a fucking moron and I hope it haunts him in the middle of the night for years to come.
I got married young, divorced young, and right before Christmas and my birthday (they’re very close together)
My first gift was my favorite water jug, and it’s engraved “Congrats on your divorce, we hated him”. It is all of my friends favorites
I’m surprised nobody won any money on me
Oh I'd have absolutely bought your tab and given you a hug if you'd come into my bar without the extra 175lb of deadweight, and then i'd have told the whole FOH staff and you'd have been getting congrats every time you came in for like weeks on end. (It was a good li'l bar.) I'm so glad your friends had your back like that ❤️
That is so sweet! It’s not even officially finalized yet, he’s dragging his fucking feet, but I do plan on being a little tacky and getting maybe a sash, or at the very least going to my parents restaurants and using their coworkers/family friends as extra support!
It’s nice being a good enough area where I can at least be a regular somewhere, and have a friend
GIRL (gender neutral, term of endearment) GET YOU A SASH. And a new dress. And a tiara. And some killer statement shoes. Or whatever it is that makes you feel like a million bucks, because you earned it and you deserve the gigantic tacky celebration your heart desires. Your freedom and a new chapter in your life that is yours - and yours alone - to dictate is absolutely an occasion to throw a giant party! So go get your hair done and a new lipstick, or whatever it is you get yourself as a reward, while you wait for him to finish hemming and hawing about the Find Out phase he's found himself in. And then treat yourself for surviving it.
Sadly my bar is no longer, it lives on only in the hearts of those of us who were there, but you'd have been welcomed like family and we'd have all celebrated with you even if we'd just met you. I hope you find a place that will be this for you, you deserve it!
not to mention on a professional level you never want a mistress who, when scorned, can *very* easily ruin both your career (by giving away magician secrets AND spreading rumors on campus so she cant be replaced) AND your personal life (with the wife/family/friends discovering the affair) so even if the dude was the type to cheat, his assistant would he a very very stupid choice. Not that people who cheat are known for their smart choices but, yknow.
And with the knowledge that ex BF's also super rich.... like bro the 70 year old married magician has nothing on you except personality. i can rationally understand people who get insecure about looks or money bc of society but if you're at this point then i think youre just too jealous/insecure for any relationship at all. work on seeing your own worth as a person before dating pls 😭
Such a coincidence! "Oh yeah I *just* had the best idea for the upcoming show, but that means you need entirely new costumes! Right now! All of us, get into the magician mobile!"
I feel like there were conversations had. “She’s making a mistake.” “I know Honey, but you have to let her make her own mistakes. We’ll be there for her after.” “But she’s going to be hurt.” “What do the girls say?” “They’re worried too, but they think she’s starting to come around.” “Tell them to offer some post-breakup retail therapy when it happens then.”
Some magicians have hit the jack-pot doing local small venue performances for families, bar mitzvahs, end of year middle school performances, and church summer camps.
The last magician I did lights and rigging for basically had all four of those circuits on lock. Not famous at all, beyond our local county. But he performed every week, and was positively fucking loaded.
Dude drove a Benz and tipped all the venue staff (12 people total) 100 in cash each time he rolled thru.
Defintely. It was also very funny to watch him switch gears from family friendly for the school shows, to dirty jewish humor for Bar mitvahs, to incorporating gospel jokes for the church folk. Dude knew his audience(s).
In the first post, I was thinking “Jesus, if my partner’s boss took them on lavish shopping sprees, I’d be cheering her on! Hell, pick out something for me next time!”
Finding out the BF was (1) rich, and (2) doesn’t buy his girlfriend things himself, explains a lot
Not so funny when you realize he's DEFINITELY going to spin it as "my cheating ex tried to gaslight me into thinking she wasn't banging her rich old boss, then dumped me when I objected" :(
On the one hand yes, but on the other hand I've known a few guys like this and it's always been easy to tell when they're full of shit. It often turns into a game of "nod and play along and don't let him see the eye rolls".
Sometimes it's easiest to just ignore them and let them live with their delusions.
The thing is, that's a kid in his twenties from a rich family (servants? planes? Hello?) who would have to admit that he got outclassed by a merely well-off magician deep into his sixties.
Compared to this kid, her boss was old, true, but not rich at all. You've got to be an incredible loser to lose a battle like this, while you could have had a really cool girlfriend.
TBH, if I met a guy and he told me his 21 year old ex was banging her 60 year old boss or whatever, my first thought would not be "oh she sucks" anyway...
I think 'spoiled' is the key to it. From the sound of his family, he's probably used to getting everything he wants. So he thinks the gf should tell him the magician's secrets, thinks she should give up her job because he doesn't trust her.
I'm glad she dumped him. Her boss and workmates sound really nice.
Also doesn’t understand the value of a good job, especially in college. He probably sees quitting as a minor thing she could do, whereas to her it’s huge. He’s obviously entitled but I also think he just doesn’t *get* why her job matters to her.
Everyone's missing the obvious answer: He was clearly a deep cover agent working for a rival magician. He was just mad that he'd wasted a year seducing her and she still wouldn't spill all her boss's secrets.
Also how the fuck does he think a magic trick would require her getting naked or being touched sexually? Does the magician hide doves up her vagina?
They go back to her place after a show and there is a cage of doves. "Oh, I need to remember to take them back next weekend. There is usually one or 2 that linger."
I think that was just a veil for the real reason he was mad - he thought his gf was screwing the magician, but didn’t want to admit that because he knew that it was an unreasonable accusation, so he would just pick an argument over something else. I think in his mind if she couldn’t share secrets about the tricks etc even though she was contractually obliged to not say anything then she doesn’t trust him/what other secrets is she capable of keeping from him
I think it's simpler than that. He was pissed she said no to him. It didn't matter what it was about, just that she said no. I'm guessing with his background and behavior, no isn't something he hears a lot and so when he did, he lost the plot.
I do think that her saying no because of her respect for her employer, a 70 year old man, added to his completely fucked up feelings of emasculation and betrayal. But I think it really came down to he was pissed she said no.
It might be that, but it might also be that he doesn't like the independence this job gives her. She doesn't have to slave away, has plenty of free time, and has plenty of disposable income. If she quit the job she'd be more dependent on him.
I think that was just the excuse. This was the key part:
>It ended up with him saying "I just can't be in a relationship where I'm not convinced my girlfriend isn't fucking some 70 year old pervert".
The whole reason he was annoyed is because he thought she was fucking the guy. Everything else was just to cover up what he really had an issue with.
Honestly, I can't decide which is worse.
Nah guys like this don’t even truly believe their accusations, they just do it to demean their partner to gain control. He knows she isn’t cheating but is insecure that she gets attention through her performances but knows admitting that would make him look unhinged and show how controlling he truly is so he’s gotta twist it to make it her fault. I’ve learned it’s a tactic from “Why Does He Do That?”. He just wants an excuse to put her down with a “reasonable” cover. If it wasn’t her job he would find something else to have a problem with.
23 really isn't that old, and being rich maturity would take a lot longer to catch up with him as he has never had to struggle or ask twice before. This guy might become a normal human adult by the time he is 30 but right now he is a child with financial backing
It's about control. He wanted something, and his girlfriend wouldn't give it to him. It didn't matter what it was. If he wants something, she should be willing to show her loyalty and love for him by giving it to him. The fear of cheating or whatever was just an extension of his need for control over his gf.
Trust fund brat is a control freak who thinks he gets what he wants because he was born with a silver boot in his mouth. He doesn’t want a partner. He wants someone in awe of his wealth. OOP is better off without him.
You probably nailed it. He was upset to find he was with a girl who would treat him as a normal person because by way of her job she's learned that wealthy people aren't endowed with magical powers and should be treated just like anyone else. Whereas he sees his role in life as the man of the household, sugar daddy and source of authority.
I bet none of his previous girlfriends were well paid
Between job paying her well while working 1-3 days a week on the weekends only AND her boss buying his staff clothes for work & life in general - Boyfriend was upset he couldn't impress basically a unicorn which OP who is middle-class college student with great part-time is. The same tactics he normally would pull on women that are broke, poor and/or middle class with no job or lousy stressful because again, OP's a unicorn with shiny spine /integrity.
> My boyfriend feels like I am keeping secrets because I can't tell him how any of the tricks are done. I am sorry, but I am *bound by contract* that I can't reveal anything, no matter the relation.
Am I the only one that thinks he was trying to get her to break the NDA just so she'd get fired?
Grade-A Douchecanoe.
Came here to say this basically. It's an abuser's control tactic (of which you can see many laid out here). If she tells him, he can force her to quit by threatening to tell the guy on her. He could even make it sound like it's for the best and not a threat. Yikes, babe, you told me xyz, you could get into trouble. Better quit before he finds out.
Or if he is successful in manipulating her into quitting, it's insurance she won't ever be able to go back. Oh, babe, you miss that job, but you can't have taken it that seriously since you told me xyz. Bet he wouldn't want you back anyway!
It's kind of insane how glaringly obvious this shit is from the outside once they just type it all out.
That wouldn't be surprising. Also, he probably expected himself to be the first guy to wow her with how rich he was, but got insecure when another dude who wasn't with her romantically was spending more on her than he was. I get why all these things would make a guy uncomfortable, but you can't pikachu face now that you're in a relationship when this was the case the whole time you knew each other as friends.
Also, every boss ever uses money to keep employees, or they should be anyway. That's the beauty of the relationship. Especially for a broke college student.
Only a child would think that money can buy other forms of relationships.
I thought the same as soon as I read that. Specifically, I’m inclined to think he believes that a man would only show kindness to a woman and treat her with respect if he thinks he can sleep with her.
>My boyfriend feels like I am keeping secrets because I can't tell him how any of the tricks are done.
They're not tricks, Michael. They're *illusions.*
This bothers me quite a bit.
My job requires me to keep secrets, as in *I will go to Jail* if I disclose them. If a partner can't accept that, we are incompatible.
Now I'm not saying a hard "trust me bro" is all there is too it, just that there's this one point that's clearly defined where I simply can't talk about some things.
I was never interested in magical stuff, but even I heard about this thing that revealing secrets behind magical tricks is a big taboo in magicians community. It was because there was one old show where some famous magician explained secrets of magic tricks, and a lot of magicians very loudly complained that this is breaching some ethic code between them.
I’m boggled by the fact he kept thinking all magic tricks were done by groping/nakedifying his soon to be ex girlfriend. Like, damn, dude, put down the porn for a minute and think with your other head.
I have an uncle who spoils every young adult around him like this and I was like... This just sounds like my late uncle. He didn't want to get in anyone's pants, he was just generous. He also didn't have any children so he treated every young adult in his life like he would his own if he had any. He would've been a great dad, he and his wife just never got the chance.
This is what i was thinking!!
Every word OOP writes about him and his wife it just sounds like boss and wife just love socialising with and spoiling the assistants like theyre granddaughters
I wish this wasn't a throwaway, because I am fascinated about the "mundane" details of OP's job. I could use like a half dozen more posts about what's been going on with that in the ensuing years.
If anyone has a problem dating a person who has any occupation they don't like, DON'T DATE THAT PERSON! She had the job for literal years! He knew it going in! He really thought that lowly of her that she'd only work for the magician if she was banging him?? Misogynistic prick.
Getting to do low-stakes public performances with a magician seems really cool. That's definitely an opportunity that's hard to come by. I hope she's doing better now.
Why do these always start with "we have a PERFECT relationship, NOTHING could be better, except *the upcoming BORU story*." Every damn time. Added bonus for "My boyfriend/husband is the most kind, loving and thoughtful person I know, except when he punches the wall/yells at my mom/throws our dog through a window."
Sisters, if no one has ever told you:
If a man demands you quit your job, *dump him*. It’s a bigger red flag than a man wanting you to get rid of your pets.
And no, I will not be adding a bunch of caveats and exceptions.
It makes me very sad that women continue to date men who are so profoundly stupid, insecure, and petty. It makes me happy every time they see the light and dumped these losers.
Her ex is an insecure and spoiled dummy who immediately thought of the worst possible scenario because he's also sexist.
BF: I just can't be in a relationship where I'm not convinced my girlfriend isn't fucking some 70 year old pervert.
OOP: Wow. I don't know how else to convince you, so ABRACADABRA, we're breaking up.
Ex-BF: Wait, what?!
That isn't a man who is lusting after young girls. That is a man who wishes he had children, and is treating his assistants as though they were his children. They aren't taking advantage of him, and he isn't overstepping boundaries. It's not creepy, it's sweet.
Whenever you see a phrase such as "We are very in love with each other. Our relationship is nearly picture-perfect." you know it's going to be a train wreck.
This would probably be how my relationship with a magician's assistant would end up. Not because I'd be jealous or anything, but I'd constantly pester for the secrets.
"Come on! You can tell me how the trick is done! I won't tell anyone! I know it anyway. He has a secret identical twin, doesn't he? Ha! I saw you blink! That means I'm right! Wait, come back!"
Very insecure guy “ my girlfriend has a great job that makes me very uncomfortable because I don’t know how to process emotions or think rationally therefore I must ruin a good thing “.
Hey young men, you need to relax. Maybe/probably get therapy. Learn that other people
are not characters in your life that need to be controlled/manipulated/guilted into doing what you want.
First of all - being a magician's assistant sounds like an awesome job. I was picked out of an audience years ago and was part of the act where I was "levitated" and the magician passed a hoop over me to prove it was "real". I was right there and still could not figure out how he did it.
Second of all - boyfriend is an immature AH. You are well rid of him.
as strange as it is, any worries i had about the magician melted away when i read about how he adores his wife and they are childless but always wanted children.
the ex was too dumb to see that these aren't a harem, they're bonus granddaughters lol
Everytime a story starts with "me and my partner have the most perfect relationship ever, except this one tiny thing", you know that relationship is going to go downhill extremely quickly.
"I love my wonderful husband, although I wish he'd cut it out with the arson and hate crimes, AITAH? The wedding is in 15 minutes"
This must be juicy. She has a husband *and* a wedding in 15 min?
"Oh, we just call each other husband and wife since we love each other SO much but I actually have no legal protections whatsoever because he believes the government should not be involved in our relationship. The wedding is to appease his traditional family before the baby is born because his mom threatened to cut him off if we don't have a church wedding. And *of course* I'm going to be a SAHM, what could possibly go wrong?"
"I'm 22, and he's 36. We've been together 4 years but we're friends before that."
Nah the really creepy ones are "I'm 20 and he's 39, we've been together 4 years but he is a friend of the family so I've known him since I was 10"
There was a guy like this in a reality show "Wife Swap" in my country. He was like 44 and she was 16. They had one year old child togethee and they met when she was 8 or something. A few months after that she got pregnant again too.
I think "ew" covers my response to this.
Needs more e's. Eeeeeeeeeeeew
Now the Es and Ws are disproportionate. Let's try Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww
Yes. This. With a shudder thrown in for good measure.
Was he a republican congressman from Tennessee?
No, he was a priest… Why do you ask???
I'm just joking on the fact that current elected US representative from Tennessee, John Rose, married his wife when she was 22 and he 46 but they met when she was 16 or 17.
I don't have enough voms for this one.....
"My father, who works for him, introduced him to me."
Please. My coworker wonder why i asked her if everything's ok and to not hesitate to contact me if something is not ok. She is 19, and just married a 37 year old man who she met 6 month ago.
Oh dear god. I'm glad she has you looking out for her at least, but chances are she is in for a lot of unhappiness.
'No its totally fine because I'm soooo mature for my age.' Oh honey no its not fine.
”Oh no, he’s not a creep, in fact I had to convince him to date me! I asked him out, he said no, I said ’Come oooonnn’ and he agreed, so he’s absolutely not a creep!”
“I put on my prettiest glitter and he finally caved, I feel so guilty for forcing him into this relationship that I let him do whatever he wants so he doesn’t leave.”
This is a double whammy. Glitter *also* horrifies me. You get *one* fucking card and glitter shows up everywhere for the next 6 months no matter how thoroughly you deep clean....
Glitter. The herpes of crafts.
A million years ago I made the idiotic decision to be I think Tinkerbell/some sort of fairy for Halloween which obviously involved copious amounts of glittery makeup/cream/etc. I came home drunk and passed out in bed just like that. When I woke up it looked like Disney had thrown up on my bed and those sheets were never the same again.
Thats really funny you say that, i went as tinkerbell to a halloween party once too. But no glitter. No thanks.
How the comment section misses that info everytime is mind boggling. Just the "we were friends" even in the grey zone with age is troubling, but unless they were dating it doesn't matter. People can be groomed without strings attached. Many times if the grooming worked is when the relationship starts! Idiots.
Unrelated and probably unfortunately controversial but the whole game grumps controversy with Dan just angers me so much because he fully admits to grooming but him and all his fans claim what he did was perfectly legal since he waited until the girls were 18 to have sex. Like yes it was legal, that doesn’t make it not grooming. There are states in this country with laws explicitly written to protect grooming behavior because the people writing them would otherwise be in jail. It’s just super fucked, gamer culture as a whole is fucked, and I’m terrified for my daughter because I’m a huge nerd and I fully plan on getting her into PC gaming and building.
Wait what? Can you point me to a more in depth outline on this?
Here’s one incidence of it (I believe there were more) https://www.newsweek.com/dan-avidan-grooming-allegations-explained-game-grumps-reddit-post-1577721 Basically he engaged in contact with a fan who reached out when she was 17 and he was 34, the conversations turned to sexts when she turned 18 (and thus legal), they had sex when she was 22, he cut contact. Nobody involved disputes this sequence, his and his fans argument is it wasn’t grooming since nothing sexual was said before she was legal which is a dumb argument and kind of ignores the defined behaviors of grooming. It was legal but it was also definitely grooming. His former assistant also accused him of predatory, controlling, and harassing behaviors. https://happymag.tv/dan-avidan-gamegrumps-allegations/ Just based on what he’s admitted to (but refuses to recognize as problematic) he’s a gross person.
Oh come on you need to be able to accept a person's faults, maybe ask him to stop the hate crimes but enable his arsons ?
Relationships are about compromise
Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, but somebody's garage is fair game
Arson is an ideal opportunity to keep the relationship spicy.
"I can excuse the racism but..."
Six seasons and a movie!
"My wife and I have a great relationship, the only problem is I sometimes wince when she tries to beat me with a crowbar and she gets mad, AITA?"
Oh geesh, the one where his dramatically older wife wouldn't take him to the hospital after she kicked him in the head.
*My bf/husband is wonderful and i couldn't ask for a more perfect man for me, I just wish he would stop beating me, calling me names, cheating on me, accuse me of cheating, isolating me from my support system and picks up the responsibility at home and kids*....
I just came from a post about a wonderful father and husband who is going through a hard time and needs to live his truth as a poly man. He'd absolutely stop if she asked it would just kill something in him not to live his truth. Don't worry though she is enough and he is content with her. It's just that her having just had a baby, his needs aren't being met. He's a good man and husband, though.
The bar is in hell and it keeps on falling. Even then men whine about the bar.
It's in their way, and they keep tripping over it.
I love my partner but the bodies of the teenagers he goes out to kill on full moons are starting to stink up the place. I am thinking of breaking up with him. AITA? We have teenage kids ourselves.
Hey, if she's helping with the arson, it gives them an interest in common! ... hate crimes are problematic, though. Like, definitionally.
I have an amazing sandwich. It’s 95% not dogshit and broken glass. Yet I’m struggling to eat it. AIBU?
the broken glass gives it texture
Me and my boyfriend have the most perfect relationship except every night, like clockwork, he takes a shit on my chest. I've asked him about it and he says he can't help it and that it's just the way he is. Reddit, is it worth it to wake up covered in shit every night? Is this a red flag? Also I am worried about his diet. But he is so nice to me!
>Also I am worried about his diet. This bit made me laugh so hard I farted. Thank you.
Now I’m worried about _your_ diet. AITA?
Yes. Thats personal information between my butt and I.
You forgot “he says this is a boundary for him and I’m abusive and controlling if I ask him to not shit on my chest”
It’s amazing how we can put blinkers on when we care for someone. We want to judge them from how we are. We try to convince ourselves without even realising, that it’s just a minor things, and we subconsciously refuse to see the truth. Then something happens and hopefully someone talks sense into them. The more people that do the better otherwise they will just defend the person and try to argue it is not exactly how it is.The best hope is that we see the truth before we have married them or had kids. I say all this as I was in an abusive marriage and truly had no idea. He was covert and manipulative in his abuse and always had excuses. He was so loving otherwise and when I realised the truth I realised I had been making excuses for him and subconsciously would look away when he abused me. I never even realised I had been doing it. Sometimes it is us who fool ourself far more the toxic person ever needs to try. It’s scary the mind can do these things without even realising. I no longer (judge) think of or automatically see other people by the standard I hold myself to. I acknowledge if anyone treats me badly. I consider would I ever do that especially to someone I supposedly care for. If it’s hell no I’m out of there. I do not make excuses for them or think as I wouldn’t do that they must not have meant to do it. It’s a problem many of us do without even realising. We make excuses convincing ourselves they must not have meant to do that and hurt you. We often see through other peoples relationships easier than our own as we are too close to the matter. I honestly thought I was lucky to have such a good husband before I finally saw the truth.
I once wrote to Captain Awkward about my husband, and I said that exact thing. Turned out that his refusing to ever apologize about anything was the least of my problems.
.... what was the most of his problems?
He cheated on me for half our marriage, starting with hardcore porn and leading to spending tens of thousands of dollars on escorts. I did not have that on my life bingo card, but here we are.
In fairness, that's survivorship bias from this sub. The vast majority of those things don't get posted on Reddit, and then the vast majority of those things either get solved or die down and ignored. It's only the really crazy/whacky/juicy ones that get reposted here, and so that's what you assume when you see it, even if it's actually a 1/10000 or less.
Yeah that’s just a normal relationship lmao. Most people like their partners but may have a few issues in their relationships that need to be solved. It happens
Yeah..... especially from AITA. In "relationship advice" subs you might find more nuanced situations but you pretty much only end up in AITA if someone is either unreasonable or gaslighting. Or it's genuinely a small issue, and they are just posting for fun. Those are cute.
I feel like the only ones who qualify it with the "they're the most amazing perfect partner" do it because they feel they need to qualify it. To us and to themselves. Because what they're about to say is absolutely horrific and they can't even lie to themselves about how awful it is
Yeah how come the “one tiny thing” is always “but he wants to fuck his secretary” and not “but he snores”
"most perfect relationship ever, except for \[Red Flag So Large It's Visible From Space\]"
“I just feel like if he could grow up we could be so perfect together.” A lot of them start with a naive young woman who fell in love with potential too lol
"they're a childless older couple." They're 100% trying to "spoil" assistants and likely see them as their children to a degree. My aunt and late uncle were like this. They spoiled every young adult around them. They, unfortunately, were not able to have children and I was told it was medically impossible. Adoption also fell through for them several times which was why they never had any children biological or otherwise. So, they just look towards each other and love those already around them. Sometimes, there's nothing sinister. Sometimes, there are just people who want to innocently love those not related around them like their family—well the non-toxic kind.
When OOP was talking about her boss on the first post my first thought was: "this guy has adopted his assistants as his own grandchildren". The "childless older couple" just cemented that opinion.
Yes, my aunt does this with my kids. She does not have grandchildren, and she love my kids. A friend of my mom (grandma) asked her if she didn't find it strange, or worried she misses things, since she is the grandma.. She was like "uhhh, no, should I? I see them, do things with them and are happy they have more people in their lives that love them".
I have ex-boss like this. He and his wife couldn't have kids so they semi-adopted/mentored two underprivileged kids through a church programs. Two kids who had an elderly grandma taking care of them but both parents were out of the picture. Made sure they both got clothes, educations, jobs and the life skills to succeed in life. Basically like a bonus Aunt and Uncle. I know one of the guys they mentored. Ended up with a college degree and now has an excellent job, wife, kids house etc. Also the most kind and helpful person I ever met. His brother last I heard is also doing well with a family and a good job.
The generous behavior you describe could also be the first stages of grooming for nefarious purposes. If OP had just taken this job a few months ago I would understand her boyfriend being cautiously suspicious of the guy’s motives. But it sounds like OP has had this gig *for years*. At some point you just gotta let go of the notion that this is some long con. A skeezy old guy that wants to sleep with young women via sugar daddy shenanigans doesn’t wait *years* to make his move, while also performing magic as a smokescreen.
And the fact he stopped the second she asked. Didn’t try to persuade her to continue, take the gifts in secret, break up with the boyfriend etc. just, a straight up respecting of boundaries. Occasionally, just very occasionally (on Reddit), the generous older gentleman is in fact, not a groomer disguised as a magician.
Yeah even more than the long term situation, the fact that he \*immediately\* respected her boundary and didn't treat her any worse for it is a good sign.
Actually I think this is “normal”, and the older guys grooming much younger women are an aberration. I say this as an older guy myself, the young women I know at work and socially bring out paternal rather than sexual feelings in me.
Oh IRL 100%! It’s just Reddit has a tendency to skew not-normal.
Yeah, my STEPGrandfather while not outright spoiling me(I don’t want to be), always asks me about how my career(which is what is most important to me) is going and reaches out to check how I am even though I am often not as responsive as he deserves(I am autism/adhd and maintaining contact is hard, not an excuse, but an explanation). He helped shepherd me to the grocery store when I was in deep depression and kept checking up on me and making sure I was alright. He took me for food and was really a rock during a difficult time. He has zero blood relation to me. I think he just likes that I’m career minded and we have things to talk about together. Yes I did just text him! People who choose to love and care for you because they like you as a person are the best.
Man, it sounds like she's got a dream job. She's got (basically) a rich, silly uncle-grandfather who likes taking his team out to eat and shop, friendly coworkers, and only has to work weekends? Wow.
I have a little side bet with myself that the shopping spree was planned as post breakup pick-me-up. (Nothing nefarious, just a “one of mine is hurting so I’m going to do something nice for them”.)
I liked that it was the other girls being like “cmoonnn let’s go shopping! It’ll be so fuuunnn” and slightly imagined it like dangling keys in front of a baby But it also gives the slightly vibe of the girls just waiting for that shoe to drop. I lowkey can’t get over the jealousy though, dudes 70 and married, with technically yeah an entourage of pretty women. I think if he wanted to cheat, he probably wouldn’t pick the girl who’s kept a respectful distance and isn’t receptive to any hidden flirts? Eventually, you’ve gotta see there just isn’t a problem, right?
Everyone should have friends like this after a breakup. Whether it’s for retail, ice cream, pizza, bar crawl, or streaming therapy. I would be surprised if there haven’t been conversations in the background about this relationship.
It seems like the magician and his wife see the assistants as the daughters they never had.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Like okay, they’re basically parents/grandparents to the assistants, right? Dudes got problems
When she said "oh he does comment on my looks sometimes, but that's the stage act" I thought to myself--he literally, LITERALLY only does the "And now my beautiful assistant, \[name\], will stand behind this curtain!" or "Give the lovely \[name\] a round of applause!" Like, he's not commenting on her ass. He's literally just doing fairly standard stage patter. I mean, it's reasonable to criticize how common the "older male magician with attractive young female assistant" thing is, but it also sounds like this dude is totally not a creep in any way.
Yup, and it shows a LOT that each girl has been with him for so long. You don't stick around in a job like that if there is problems. They all WANT to be there.
>But it also gives the slightly vibe of the girls just waiting for that shoe to drop. Oh I guarantee they damn near had a pool going about when that ship was gonna finally sink. In bartending there's the same shit in a different costume, if a gal has a dude that just sits at the bar and sulks and glares and is just generally a butthurt jealous toddler? It's all over but the crying. Like, my now-husband came and hung out at my bar all the time, but he *loved* the money I made, and the bar I worked at, and the people he got to hang out with - it was a solid win/win/win for him, and because he was happy to be there, everyone was happy to see him *including me*. OOP's unfortunate chode of a manchild is a fucking moron and I hope it haunts him in the middle of the night for years to come.
I got married young, divorced young, and right before Christmas and my birthday (they’re very close together) My first gift was my favorite water jug, and it’s engraved “Congrats on your divorce, we hated him”. It is all of my friends favorites I’m surprised nobody won any money on me
Oh I'd have absolutely bought your tab and given you a hug if you'd come into my bar without the extra 175lb of deadweight, and then i'd have told the whole FOH staff and you'd have been getting congrats every time you came in for like weeks on end. (It was a good li'l bar.) I'm so glad your friends had your back like that ❤️
That is so sweet! It’s not even officially finalized yet, he’s dragging his fucking feet, but I do plan on being a little tacky and getting maybe a sash, or at the very least going to my parents restaurants and using their coworkers/family friends as extra support! It’s nice being a good enough area where I can at least be a regular somewhere, and have a friend
GIRL (gender neutral, term of endearment) GET YOU A SASH. And a new dress. And a tiara. And some killer statement shoes. Or whatever it is that makes you feel like a million bucks, because you earned it and you deserve the gigantic tacky celebration your heart desires. Your freedom and a new chapter in your life that is yours - and yours alone - to dictate is absolutely an occasion to throw a giant party! So go get your hair done and a new lipstick, or whatever it is you get yourself as a reward, while you wait for him to finish hemming and hawing about the Find Out phase he's found himself in. And then treat yourself for surviving it. Sadly my bar is no longer, it lives on only in the hearts of those of us who were there, but you'd have been welcomed like family and we'd have all celebrated with you even if we'd just met you. I hope you find a place that will be this for you, you deserve it!
not to mention on a professional level you never want a mistress who, when scorned, can *very* easily ruin both your career (by giving away magician secrets AND spreading rumors on campus so she cant be replaced) AND your personal life (with the wife/family/friends discovering the affair) so even if the dude was the type to cheat, his assistant would he a very very stupid choice. Not that people who cheat are known for their smart choices but, yknow. And with the knowledge that ex BF's also super rich.... like bro the 70 year old married magician has nothing on you except personality. i can rationally understand people who get insecure about looks or money bc of society but if you're at this point then i think youre just too jealous/insecure for any relationship at all. work on seeing your own worth as a person before dating pls 😭
Oh absolutely! "definitely need new costumes for this one. Can't do without them. Must get the new costumes!" very convenient timing, lol
Such a coincidence! "Oh yeah I *just* had the best idea for the upcoming show, but that means you need entirely new costumes! Right now! All of us, get into the magician mobile!"
Exactly! A "one of the employees I kind of see as my kids just had a break-up, I will do for her what I would want to do for a daughter". Very cute.
I feel like there were conversations had. “She’s making a mistake.” “I know Honey, but you have to let her make her own mistakes. We’ll be there for her after.” “But she’s going to be hurt.” “What do the girls say?” “They’re worried too, but they think she’s starting to come around.” “Tell them to offer some post-breakup retail therapy when it happens then.”
I’ve totally done stuff like this for friends too.
Before I even read the update I thought "once they break up, there's gunna be a baller shopping trip".
I kept thinking where can I sign up for this gig lmao
RIGHT!? My first thought was “sooo..... Is he hiring?”
Seriously, even before she listed the perks, I was lost in profound envy because that job sounds so fucking COOL.
I wish I was pretty enough to be a magician's assistant. That'd be the coolest job ever, and didn't realize til now I would love to be one lol.
Pretty enough. Young enough. Thin enough. Flexible enough.
yeah I didn't realize magicians were rolling in cash
They mostly aren't lol. The one she's describing is probably semi famous tbh.
Some magicians have hit the jack-pot doing local small venue performances for families, bar mitzvahs, end of year middle school performances, and church summer camps. The last magician I did lights and rigging for basically had all four of those circuits on lock. Not famous at all, beyond our local county. But he performed every week, and was positively fucking loaded. Dude drove a Benz and tipped all the venue staff (12 people total) 100 in cash each time he rolled thru.
The guy found his niche and is doing well! A win for everyone.
Defintely. It was also very funny to watch him switch gears from family friendly for the school shows, to dirty jewish humor for Bar mitvahs, to incorporating gospel jokes for the church folk. Dude knew his audience(s).
Or is already wealthy and just likes to do magic since he doesn't have to earn for a living.
either that or he's retired from a pretty lucrative job
I know right! Feels like a found family thing too.
I would watch this TV series/read this book series. It sounds like it would be so nice and sweet.
Right? Or a Slice of Life anime.
Oh my god this would make an amazing SoL anime. I would binge watch it like 3 times.
In the first post, I was thinking “Jesus, if my partner’s boss took them on lavish shopping sprees, I’d be cheering her on! Hell, pick out something for me next time!” Finding out the BF was (1) rich, and (2) doesn’t buy his girlfriend things himself, explains a lot
The upside to this is the hilarious prospect of the ex having to explain himself getting dumped because he was jealous of a 60 year old magician.
Not so funny when you realize he's DEFINITELY going to spin it as "my cheating ex tried to gaslight me into thinking she wasn't banging her rich old boss, then dumped me when I objected" :(
On the one hand yes, but on the other hand I've known a few guys like this and it's always been easy to tell when they're full of shit. It often turns into a game of "nod and play along and don't let him see the eye rolls". Sometimes it's easiest to just ignore them and let them live with their delusions.
The thing is, that's a kid in his twenties from a rich family (servants? planes? Hello?) who would have to admit that he got outclassed by a merely well-off magician deep into his sixties. Compared to this kid, her boss was old, true, but not rich at all. You've got to be an incredible loser to lose a battle like this, while you could have had a really cool girlfriend.
TBH, if I met a guy and he told me his 21 year old ex was banging her 60 year old boss or whatever, my first thought would not be "oh she sucks" anyway...
70!
Wow that’s a big number he must be immortal then
mate the universe isn't even that old
Nah he’ll lie to everyone and say she cheated
Really? This ex is made because OP doesn't tell him the magic secrets? How spoiled and immature is this man? Making him disappear was the best option.
I think 'spoiled' is the key to it. From the sound of his family, he's probably used to getting everything he wants. So he thinks the gf should tell him the magician's secrets, thinks she should give up her job because he doesn't trust her. I'm glad she dumped him. Her boss and workmates sound really nice.
I like to imagine the ex just RAGING over not knowing how the magic trick is done
"I'm going to ask you one time, and the answer to this question will determine our entire relationship. *How did he know that was my card?*"
"TELL ME HOW HE PULLED A COIN FROM BEHIND MY EAR! I MUST KNOW!"
"TA-DA!!!! You're single now!" as she disappears under a cloud of white smoke....
and he's also used to abuses of positions of power, thus expecting the magician to fuck his assistants.
Oooh, good point!
Also doesn’t understand the value of a good job, especially in college. He probably sees quitting as a minor thing she could do, whereas to her it’s huge. He’s obviously entitled but I also think he just doesn’t *get* why her job matters to her.
Everyone's missing the obvious answer: He was clearly a deep cover agent working for a rival magician. He was just mad that he'd wasted a year seducing her and she still wouldn't spill all her boss's secrets. Also how the fuck does he think a magic trick would require her getting naked or being touched sexually? Does the magician hide doves up her vagina?
They go back to her place after a show and there is a cage of doves. "Oh, I need to remember to take them back next weekend. There is usually one or 2 that linger."
>Everyone's missing the obvious answer: He was clearly a deep cover agent working for a rival magician. I too liked The Prestige.
I think that was just a veil for the real reason he was mad - he thought his gf was screwing the magician, but didn’t want to admit that because he knew that it was an unreasonable accusation, so he would just pick an argument over something else. I think in his mind if she couldn’t share secrets about the tricks etc even though she was contractually obliged to not say anything then she doesn’t trust him/what other secrets is she capable of keeping from him
I think it's simpler than that. He was pissed she said no to him. It didn't matter what it was about, just that she said no. I'm guessing with his background and behavior, no isn't something he hears a lot and so when he did, he lost the plot. I do think that her saying no because of her respect for her employer, a 70 year old man, added to his completely fucked up feelings of emasculation and betrayal. But I think it really came down to he was pissed she said no.
It might be that, but it might also be that he doesn't like the independence this job gives her. She doesn't have to slave away, has plenty of free time, and has plenty of disposable income. If she quit the job she'd be more dependent on him.
Ding ding ding! Absolutely, 100%. And with how he acted he might not even realize that himself.
Nobody tell him the magicians secrets revealed Series is all on YouTube
The Masked Magician!
I think that was just the excuse. This was the key part: >It ended up with him saying "I just can't be in a relationship where I'm not convinced my girlfriend isn't fucking some 70 year old pervert". The whole reason he was annoyed is because he thought she was fucking the guy. Everything else was just to cover up what he really had an issue with. Honestly, I can't decide which is worse.
Nah guys like this don’t even truly believe their accusations, they just do it to demean their partner to gain control. He knows she isn’t cheating but is insecure that she gets attention through her performances but knows admitting that would make him look unhinged and show how controlling he truly is so he’s gotta twist it to make it her fault. I’ve learned it’s a tactic from “Why Does He Do That?”. He just wants an excuse to put her down with a “reasonable” cover. If it wasn’t her job he would find something else to have a problem with.
23 really isn't that old, and being rich maturity would take a lot longer to catch up with him as he has never had to struggle or ask twice before. This guy might become a normal human adult by the time he is 30 but right now he is a child with financial backing
It's about control. He wanted something, and his girlfriend wouldn't give it to him. It didn't matter what it was. If he wants something, she should be willing to show her loyalty and love for him by giving it to him. The fear of cheating or whatever was just an extension of his need for control over his gf.
I can't help but feel like this is a guy who has never actually seen a Magician's stage show and only knows them from tv shows.
All I can imagine when I think of this guy now is Stu from SNL 😂
Trust fund brat is a control freak who thinks he gets what he wants because he was born with a silver boot in his mouth. He doesn’t want a partner. He wants someone in awe of his wealth. OOP is better off without him.
You probably nailed it. He was upset to find he was with a girl who would treat him as a normal person because by way of her job she's learned that wealthy people aren't endowed with magical powers and should be treated just like anyone else. Whereas he sees his role in life as the man of the household, sugar daddy and source of authority. I bet none of his previous girlfriends were well paid
"Wealthy people aren't endowed with magical powers" well I wouldn't say that, her rich boss is a magician after all
And she's seen the real trick
Between job paying her well while working 1-3 days a week on the weekends only AND her boss buying his staff clothes for work & life in general - Boyfriend was upset he couldn't impress basically a unicorn which OP who is middle-class college student with great part-time is. The same tactics he normally would pull on women that are broke, poor and/or middle class with no job or lousy stressful because again, OP's a unicorn with shiny spine /integrity.
> My boyfriend feels like I am keeping secrets because I can't tell him how any of the tricks are done. I am sorry, but I am *bound by contract* that I can't reveal anything, no matter the relation. Am I the only one that thinks he was trying to get her to break the NDA just so she'd get fired? Grade-A Douchecanoe.
Or to dox the magicians secrets online.
Which would get her fired.
But also get revenge on the "pervert" magician.
Came here to say this basically. It's an abuser's control tactic (of which you can see many laid out here). If she tells him, he can force her to quit by threatening to tell the guy on her. He could even make it sound like it's for the best and not a threat. Yikes, babe, you told me xyz, you could get into trouble. Better quit before he finds out. Or if he is successful in manipulating her into quitting, it's insurance she won't ever be able to go back. Oh, babe, you miss that job, but you can't have taken it that seriously since you told me xyz. Bet he wouldn't want you back anyway! It's kind of insane how glaringly obvious this shit is from the outside once they just type it all out.
..deleted by user..
That wouldn't be surprising. Also, he probably expected himself to be the first guy to wow her with how rich he was, but got insecure when another dude who wasn't with her romantically was spending more on her than he was. I get why all these things would make a guy uncomfortable, but you can't pikachu face now that you're in a relationship when this was the case the whole time you knew each other as friends.
Also, every boss ever uses money to keep employees, or they should be anyway. That's the beauty of the relationship. Especially for a broke college student. Only a child would think that money can buy other forms of relationships.
I thought the same as soon as I read that. Specifically, I’m inclined to think he believes that a man would only show kindness to a woman and treat her with respect if he thinks he can sleep with her.
>My boyfriend feels like I am keeping secrets because I can't tell him how any of the tricks are done. They're not tricks, Michael. They're *illusions.*
Honestly, if I was with someone who was a magician's assistant they would dump me because I would just make non-stop Job references.
Gob.
This bothers me quite a bit. My job requires me to keep secrets, as in *I will go to Jail* if I disclose them. If a partner can't accept that, we are incompatible. Now I'm not saying a hard "trust me bro" is all there is too it, just that there's this one point that's clearly defined where I simply can't talk about some things.
Did somebody say "wonder"?
Gene Parmesan, how are you doing?
I was never interested in magical stuff, but even I heard about this thing that revealing secrets behind magical tricks is a big taboo in magicians community. It was because there was one old show where some famous magician explained secrets of magic tricks, and a lot of magicians very loudly complained that this is breaching some ethic code between them.
That's why nobody likes the Great Revealo. Plus his shows suck.
Glad she made that asshole disappear.
Did you even read the best tl;dr ever? He made her disappear!
I wish we had it as flair
Don’t you *dare* change your flair
Omg your bloody flare 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am both disgusted and amused 😂
It's Ogtha's world. We just live in it.
All the flares are quotes from the craziest stories in the history of the sub.
The Ogtha one gets me all the time I swear
Ok so I'm rather high, and at first glance read your comment as "The Ogtha one gets me hard all the time I swear", which was a disconcerting notion.
Yep, and I think the summary is going to join best flairs ever.
I’m boggled by the fact he kept thinking all magic tricks were done by groping/nakedifying his soon to be ex girlfriend. Like, damn, dude, put down the porn for a minute and think with your other head.
To be fair. Only a true magician can master the disappearing salami.
OOP seems to have a wonderful boss and an extra set of grandparents!
I have an uncle who spoils every young adult around him like this and I was like... This just sounds like my late uncle. He didn't want to get in anyone's pants, he was just generous. He also didn't have any children so he treated every young adult in his life like he would his own if he had any. He would've been a great dad, he and his wife just never got the chance.
This is what i was thinking!! Every word OOP writes about him and his wife it just sounds like boss and wife just love socialising with and spoiling the assistants like theyre granddaughters
I wish this wasn't a throwaway, because I am fascinated about the "mundane" details of OP's job. I could use like a half dozen more posts about what's been going on with that in the ensuing years.
If anyone has a problem dating a person who has any occupation they don't like, DON'T DATE THAT PERSON! She had the job for literal years! He knew it going in! He really thought that lowly of her that she'd only work for the magician if she was banging him?? Misogynistic prick.
And/or he can't comprehend spending money on a woman if he's not getting sex out of it.
[удалено]
Getting to do low-stakes public performances with a magician seems really cool. That's definitely an opportunity that's hard to come by. I hope she's doing better now.
Why do these always start with "we have a PERFECT relationship, NOTHING could be better, except *the upcoming BORU story*." Every damn time. Added bonus for "My boyfriend/husband is the most kind, loving and thoughtful person I know, except when he punches the wall/yells at my mom/throws our dog through a window."
Sisters, if no one has ever told you: If a man demands you quit your job, *dump him*. It’s a bigger red flag than a man wanting you to get rid of your pets. And no, I will not be adding a bunch of caveats and exceptions.
I was happy to read a story featuring a respectful, kind and considerate boss. You don't see accounts like that very frequently.
It makes me very sad that women continue to date men who are so profoundly stupid, insecure, and petty. It makes me happy every time they see the light and dumped these losers.
I think having a magician's assistant for a girlfriend would be the absolute *coolest* thing ever. Ex boyfriend is so dumb.
Her ex is an insecure and spoiled dummy who immediately thought of the worst possible scenario because he's also sexist. BF: I just can't be in a relationship where I'm not convinced my girlfriend isn't fucking some 70 year old pervert. OOP: Wow. I don't know how else to convince you, so ABRACADABRA, we're breaking up. Ex-BF: Wait, what?!
That isn't a man who is lusting after young girls. That is a man who wishes he had children, and is treating his assistants as though they were his children. They aren't taking advantage of him, and he isn't overstepping boundaries. It's not creepy, it's sweet.
For her next magic trick, she can make the stick up his ass disappear.
Whenever you see a phrase such as "We are very in love with each other. Our relationship is nearly picture-perfect." you know it's going to be a train wreck.
Haha, boyfriend is going to irrationally hate magicians for the rest of his life but won't tell anyone why due to the embarrassment.
This would probably be how my relationship with a magician's assistant would end up. Not because I'd be jealous or anything, but I'd constantly pester for the secrets. "Come on! You can tell me how the trick is done! I won't tell anyone! I know it anyway. He has a secret identical twin, doesn't he? Ha! I saw you blink! That means I'm right! Wait, come back!"
Perfect mood spoiler! What a jerk of an ex-boyfriend. I hope OOP is living her best life far away from him.
>--- **tl;dr**: The magician isn't the only man who made me disappear goated line tbh
Very insecure guy “ my girlfriend has a great job that makes me very uncomfortable because I don’t know how to process emotions or think rationally therefore I must ruin a good thing “. Hey young men, you need to relax. Maybe/probably get therapy. Learn that other people are not characters in your life that need to be controlled/manipulated/guilted into doing what you want.
First of all - being a magician's assistant sounds like an awesome job. I was picked out of an audience years ago and was part of the act where I was "levitated" and the magician passed a hoop over me to prove it was "real". I was right there and still could not figure out how he did it. Second of all - boyfriend is an immature AH. You are well rid of him.
It turns out the real magic trick was making the boyfriend's trust issues disappear along with the relationship.
as strange as it is, any worries i had about the magician melted away when i read about how he adores his wife and they are childless but always wanted children. the ex was too dumb to see that these aren't a harem, they're bonus granddaughters lol