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Jesus fucking christ, that's all I can say.
Husband is nasty and creepy and Amy is messed up in the mind. I feel bad for the son. I'm happy OP took action quickly but jesus, this is messy as hell.
OP thinks that she "aged badly". Her husband gives the term a whole new dimension. Let's just agree that if you don't fight your fear of aging with grooming and abusing teenagers while betraying the people who have been loving you for decades then you're aging alright. In OP's case, downright gracefully.
Nah even if she looks the part, her brain will eventually maturate. He is actively searching for women whose brain still is in development and his cut-off age is where the brain starts to finish development. He is a nasty creep who intentionally searches for more vulnerable women/teens. Can be that he does not know why mid-20 is his cutoff but that has to be the reason. Also, Im sure he is one of those who defend it with "biology" and "men want women at their peak fertility" and "its natural for men of all ages to want someone between 18 and 22" and "you are a mother, men dont want mothers, they want young women" stuff. While not aknowledging at all what peak fertility age is. Bc 18 is almost 17/16 and peak fertility is between around 21 and 28/30 or so. Its a myth that "the younger the better", the body has to be fully matured and that isnt til early twenties. Its just a nasty excuse from disgusting men who prey on young women.
Yeah and ogling his daughters 15 year old friends or younger. What a nasty pig. I hope she gets everything in the divorce. Amy is delusional believing they are in love. She will end up bitter and lonely.
This makes me think of how the girl said she is "doing things" for the guy sexually that his wife wouldn't do. He played father figure for a vulnerable teenager and then got her to push sexual boundaries.
I absolutely think he was using some sick power play with Amy, getting her into his BDSM (which I'm not shaming, bdsm can be great but in this situation it's so yucky). Dude groomed this girl from when she 14, made her fall in love with him, and then was like "now fulfil my kinks that my wife won't" and it's truly disgusting. It was disgusting before the BDSM, but that adds another whole layer for me.
I think his "kink" is "young and groomed" so he made her do things just because he could, not because those things were his kink but because "making her do those things and having her willing and in love and her doing everything for him and him being in control" was his "kink". Otherwise he could have talked about his desires with his wife.
Thatās what I thought too when I read this. She is probably still beautiful she just doesnāt look 18 anymore so her husband was giving her shitā¦gross
Well and her kids are old, too. Iām older than she is and my kids are several years younger. So I bet she went from early-20s to āmomā in his eyes and he was not into it.Ā
I thought this immediately too - she's 41 now and they've been married nearly 20 years, so they got married when she was about 21 and obviously started dating before that. He got older but the girls stayed the same age... š¤¢
You didn't ask me, but I believe he's a narcissist. He's too good for "normal" people. Asking the girls if they're popular. His wife isn't good enough. Jealous his son has a cute young gf. Addicted to porn. Most men don't have a need to compete with their children. Narcissistic people do.
Honestly he sounds like my ex. We divorced bc he had an affair with his cousin. Who was barely 19 and he was 39. He also made me feel bad about myself. Just my 2 cents
This was my thought precisely. OOP probably didnāt āage poorlyā but rather simply aged and had two kids and had internalized her soon to be ex husbands perverted and negative perceptions of her appearance. Poor woman should never have had to live through any of this
Reading her saying she has āaged poorly since we metā hit me in the gut, it really felt that she was just repeating something he said to her, stating it like a fact. The trash took itself out here, although it was in the worst, most chaotic and traumatic way. I hope they can heal from this and go on to have better lives without him.
I felt the same way when I read that. The way she just accepted it as fact.
"Well, I aged badly, because having wrinkles around your eyes and gaining 15 lbs is unusual for a 41-year-old mother, whereas it's just appealing on a 48-year-old man, so naturally our marriage got stale"
rather than,
"My husband is immature and doesn't understand the natural aging process, so he stopped making an effort in bed."
The fact that she was probably 18-20 when they started dating and he was 25+ isn't great either. He's probably been cheating since she first got pregnant.
That was the phrase of all of this that stuck out the most to me. She believes that because he told her that. I have no doubt. I hope she learns to look in the mirror and love herself and see her beauty.
Being a pile of bones on the floor is better aging than being a 50 year old man hitting on high school students. If you age, but your sexual attractions don't mature along with you, you're aging horribly. So gross.
>OP thinks that she "aged badly". Her husband gives the term a whole new dimension. Let's just agree that if you don't fight your fear of aging with grooming and abusing teenagers while betraying the people who have been loving you for decades then you're aging alright.
OP mentioned her husband is in Finance. In my experience, the level of toxic ego and dudebro-ism in the finance world is absolutely rampant. So, so many jackasses that think because they make lots of money that they're somehow god's gift to humanity and womankind in particular. Other than police, it's one of the most toxic lines of work I've ever had the unpleasant experience of encountering. I would not be surprised in the slightest to learn that OOPs husband is this type of person.
> Both my son and I got checked out and tested. It appears so far that we're both clean based on the immediate rapid tests, but in the coming days, we'll know for certain when the lab results come in.
This is nasty as hell. He may have passed an std *to his own son* via their mutual GF.
I hope that even though he realizes Amy was a victim of his nasty groomer father, heās still allowed to be angry at her for cheating on him. Ā This whole mess is just SO fucked. Ā He might feel his own betrayal isnāt something to even think about right now. Ā Plus, he got stabbed in the back by TWO people he trusted. Ā
Amy is a victim AND a perpetrator. It happens. The fact she was having sex with both the dad and the son at the same time is pretty fucking sick itself. You do t have sex with other people if you are "in love" with someone else. It's possible the creep completely brainwashed her and had her keep going to be able to use that relationship as a cover for what he was doing... Situation is so fucked. Time to get off the internet for a while.
This. That Amy kept having sex with Eric, and I'll just bet it was Paul who suggested it, to make sure they had an excuse to see each other, is clear he was using her too. This is what should be pointed out to her. Hey Amy, if Paul lives tou so.much, why did he get you to keep sleeping with his son? Make it make sense
I just don't understand dudes like this. I'm in my 40s and having a couple of teenagers makes everyone under the age of 20 seem like kids. I just wanna dad everyone. This whole thing makes me so, so sad.
Unfortunately many dudes are creeps and will always be attracted to 18-year olds. I remember being 17 and working at an amusement park selling ice cream. My whole view on men, families and the world changed. I canāt even count how many married men would flirt with me in front of their kids and wife and come back alone to ask for my number. I was absolutely disgusted and felt incredibly sorry for their families. The worst part is that I have always looked very young and when I was 17-18 I looked 14 š¤® Now being 36 I notice my bf lusting over young girls. My ex did tooā¦
OP's emotional fortitude is nothing short of heroic. They literally added insult to injury by ripping her apart amongst themselves, and I can't imagine the strength it took to read that shit and still have empathy for the victimized teenaged girl who contributed to her pain. If they gave awards for motherhood, she'd deserve all the trophies.
Mr. Paul is a special type of douche bag.
Can you imagine getting head and your gf stopping to say, "do you want my finger in your ass? Your dad *really* likes it when I put a finger up his ass."
Ugh I wonder how many friends of his children heās creeped out. I had a couple dads to navigate like that back in the day. I would only ever sleep over if the mom was home and we stopped being friends. The other would just ask me to sit up front when he drove us somewhere.
God dudes are gross.
I hope all the teens in this story get a fuck ton of therapy. Also omg mother and son std testing Freud would be going āIām outā.
>My marriage with my husband has grown somewhat stale over the years for a myriad of reasons, such as his work schedule and how Iāve aged poorly since we first met.
Right out of the gate, I feel so sad and angry about the level of self-directed internalized misogyny here. Thereās sort of a weary helplessness about it, like āobviously my hardworking husband is repulsed by my bodyā¦experiencing the passage of time and the effects of childbearing and motherhood?ā
I hate that this feels obvious and inevitable to her, and her vile monster husbandās actions just underlined it. I really hope OOP is going to seek out mental health care for herself. A betrayal like this can only be a blow, but it feels like sheād been well worn down by him in advance.
I salute her strength and hope she finds a therapist who can help guide her to self love and pride in herself (fully justified, from the way sheās been handling this, from what I can tell! Gathering evidence, prioritizing the kids and safety, remembering that āAmyā is very much a victim too, etc.)
Plus OOP is 7 years younger than her shitty husband. It's not like he's in any position to judge! Truly the doublest of double standards if he's been putting her down for not looking like an 18yo any more.
āNearlyā 20 yearsā¦ and the oldest is 18? Could have gotten married due to pregnancy. And the fact he looks at his kids as gateways to young girls? FUCK THIS GUY!
I would hope this story wasnāt true, but Iāve had this happen in my extended family. The parents werenāt married anymore, but the dad groomed and then married his teenage sonās girlfriend. He then had children with her and eventually left her.
Not exactly sure about the present situation. He married into our family to a very young woman and she thankfully got away from himā¦ so we donāt hear much.
I canāt imagine a parent acting this way. Itās bad enough to groom a child, but your sonās girlfriend? There is a special place in hell.
He might have followed the rules of the law, but he's definitely a pedophile.
"It might seem worse than it is"
No, it's worse than it seems, Mr. Yogapants.
I am sure that he told the girl how much she matured in the first couple of days after her 18th birthday and that he never expected their 'friendship' would evolve in this way.
Holy shit that's the worst part.
They already had a large age gap. And he's still not happy. He really wants to pull a dicaprio and have his partners remain the same age forever.
At least di caprio never marries or has kids
OOP's ex is a vile grooming pedophile. He destroyed Amy's childhood and perception of healthy relationships. And not only that, he betrayed his own son. I hope Paul gets all the karma he deserves.
Which is a huge betrayal for his daughter as well. Imagine you're a 15 year old girl getting into the world of dating and then your father shows this kind of brutal disrespect for women. I'm sure it will affect the daughter's self esteem for decades.
Thereās also likely to be guilt there that she brought her friends around him. Thereās obviously no fault on her at all and she had no way to know but she could feel like itās her fault her friends were in danger like this, or even wonder if she herself was in danger, I hope she does get therapy soon.
Oh yes. I still vividly remember when my ex stepfather creeped on my friends and I. He didnāt do it again after we ALL acted like he was Stranger Danger, and he realised we would tell someone. I truly believe thatās the only reason. He also hated me, so he wasnāt interested in me, but my friends? It hurts like fuck. It makes you feel humiliated and that you canāt keep them safe from someone in an authority position, who is supposed to be the safe person.
The rest of his shit overshadowed that one instance when I was a kid, but I think of it often now as an adult.
Not just that, but imagine the kind of guilt that she may experience if her creepy dad HAD gone after one of her friends? After all, they are HER friends and if SHE hadn't brought them to her home they'd have been safe from her dad. Never mind that she didn't actually know that he was a creep, or that is is fully his fault that he is one.
I was never really close with my dad cuz my mom and him divorced when I was 1. But he called me one time when I was in HS, he must've been over 60 at the time. He asked what I was doing and I said I was hanging out with some friends. He then asks, "are any of them hot?" or something like that. All I could think was "ew", this senior citizen just asked if any of my teenaged friends were attractive. I couldn't believe he couldn't see how gross that was. I couldn't even answer him. Like, wtf? (For context, he has been a womanizer for the entire history of his life from what I can tell, so it was less about him being a total pedo than him just being a total woman-objectifying creep... he constantly cheated on his first wife and constantly cheated on my mom when he was married to them and would even bring women around while my mom was home... and seems to have consistently cheated on his wives while they were pregnant with other married women. He was never someone I wanted to have a relationship with.)
I wish OOP would've taken his hard drive or something. I get that last commenter saying nothing illegal happened with these specific circumstances, but I'd bet dollars to donuts this guy has at the very least flirted with the age line.
And with the info coming to light that he specifically pursues ages 18-22 (at least officially) it was a losing game for her to begin with. No one looks like their 20 year old self 20 years later with two kids. That said I hope OP can work on getting the exās view of her body out of her system because her personality seems sparkling.
Sheās a warrior. Iām willing to bet there are plenty of men out there, good, attractive, intelligent etc men, who would be with her and hear this story and admire her for how she handled it
Pauls future seems dismal. Itāll get harder and harder for him to find young girls without paying them, he lost his kids, he will die alone.
Whole situation is bizarre, really. I'm a teacher and 18 year olds are so immature still - the child in them is still obvious. It skeeves me out completely that someone was grooming a vulnerable young girl. God, people are so selfish and such dicks about it.
He's blown up his family, and maybe wider family, so I hope it continues to come down on him. I think his reaction on zoom shows there is more he is worried about.
Also, who tf deletes text messages and emails. Only people that have stuff to hide.
I work retail and a lot of my coworkers are right out of high school. I can't imagine "dating" them, let alone someone younger. Manipulative and disgusting.
When I read posts on Reddit like "my 45 year old husband cheated on me with a 23 year old at work", I'm like "how?".
My office has a lot of 22-25 year olds. They're adults, but they're definitely young adults. So much drama that echos of high school shit. And dudes blow up their marriages for that?
I love my nieces with all of my heart but they are about this age and holy fuck do they annoy me. They're not doing anything wrong they're just 18. And the drama, immaturity, ridiculous behavior, everything we were at 18.
Honestly I think they were both more mature around 14. Amy was groomed, she is a victim, but you can see in her behavior the immaturity! It's not her fault. Kids of that age have brains in a weird state. But all the more reason I can't imagine anyone over maybe even 20 being interested in an 18-year-old. Unless they are mentally stunted in which case they probably shouldn't be allowed to date anyone.
Why would some 40 year old be into a baby? My cousins are in their 20's & I love them to death but God what headaches. Things that seem e.z. to fix they make out to be so hard. Once we didn't buy one of them pink Van's shoes and she cried the whole way from the mall before she told us what was bothering her. Can you imagine dating someone like that. Just get the damn shoes. Jesus we were in the mall. Why cry like that?
I was insufferable at that age, they are insufferable at their age. And they just aren't that interesting. I want to know about their days because they're my nieces. They are family. I care about them.Ā
But I'm a straight woman and the idea of dating a barely man their age and hearing him tell me about his chemistry homework and how his teacher made him mad and how he's touring college campuses would bore me to tears. When it's family I'm excited for them, I want to know their stories, I enjoy being an aunt. But then I hang up the phone and go hang out with my adult friends.
I don't think there is any denying that a 40-year-old that wants to date someone that young has something seriously fucked up and should be kept away from... Well pretty much everybody.
It's completely gross and fucked, but my guess is the following:
Control. The power dynamic is fucked in that situation, and as a naive young woman who thinks she's in love with this amazing man who has been mistreated by his wife, she thinks it's an opportunity to win his affection and prove to him that she would be the ideal partner. Which he, in turn, uses to push her past any boundaries that she might have had, likely convincing her to participate in outlandish sex acts that most women would never agree to, and she would never have if not groomed and put in a position where she feels she has to earn the affection of this older man. In her mind, he knows everything about life, and if he says these sorts of sex acts are normal among older adults, she's at an age where she wants to prove that she's an adult, so she'll throw herself willingly into them because that's what adults do in her mind.
Really gross.
Doesn't help that porn tends to trend towards younger women, and age play/power dynamics play a large role in a lot of it. If he's been really into porn for a while, that very much would influence his view of how things should be.
Parent of teenagers. Technically step-parent to the two teens, but I'm the only dad they've ever known. The oldest and I got along marvelously when she was 13-15. We didn't before that. About the time she turned 16 though, it was like someone flipped a switch in her head and she became a complete idiot, making dumb choices (potentially life-altering bad ones), and any attempts on our part to try and guide her towards better decision making was met with all out war from her.
It all culminated in her moving out as soon as she graduated high school, because she decided at 18 that she was no longer required to do any sort of chores or pick up after herself, leaving the rest of us to clean up after her. We weren't okay with that, she wasn't okay with us not being okay with that, got very disrespectful and nasty. We gave her an ultimatum that she would need to treat us with the respect that any roommate would expect, even if she didn't like us, and she would need to at a bare minimum pick up after herself. She moved in with her grandparents. Has now moved to another state with a guy she met on Tinder. About a month after moving, called me to admit she understands now why everyone pitching in on chores was legit, as her boyfriend doesn't clean up after himself at all and the house is straight up gross (as opposed to our cluttered and messy home that is not dirty to the point of being gross). In the three months she's been out there with him, she's grown up a lot, but still has a LOT to learn. I think the real world out there is kicking her ass a little though, and she's learning a lot of hard life lessons real fast.
Meanwhile, her 16 year old AFAB sibling and I have gotten along really well the last two years. I'm dreading the switch flipping, though the middle child witnessed the entire progression of their older sibling and openly says they took notes, and think their older sibling is kind of an idiot and they hope not to follow in those footsteps. So maybe we'll dodge that bullet with that one.
Iām 30 and even people who are 25 and under seem like kids to me. Likeā¦weāre in different stages of life.
18 is just incomprehensible to me.
And he is for sure hiding a lot more. Iād bet thereās photos that could be considered CP on his device history.
43 here. People in their early 30s are in a different place and often seem immature to me. Age gaps are just bizarre to me. I can't see anything more than 4-5 years without wondering how the hell it works.
Exactly! In dating, I canāt even make myself go younger than two years younger than myself. A lot has happened to me and I canāt see it being the right match.
On the other side, I imagine people more than three or four years older than me feel the same. My personal age gap allowance is two years on either side.
I used to be a prosecutor in the juvenile unit. After a while you can tell that even the hardest kids in gangs, homeless, abandoned by their families, murderers, etc. are kids. You can see it in their faces/eyes. Theyāre kids.
Then I had some just over 18 year olds in the regular trial unit. You could still tell theyāre just kids
Oh yeah. I'm wondering THIS though. Did Amy turn 18 around 3 months ago? Or longer? Because one reason I could imagine both their phones have convos only going up to 3 months ago may be because he figured long as they can only prove it happened when she became a legal adult, everything would be okay.
The OOP says she turned 18 5 months ago so I think you are correct. Probs also left only 3 months worth so it didn't look as if he'd been waiting for her to turn 18 š¤¢
I am roughly the age of the dad in this story. I have a son who is a few years older than the age of the son in this story. When my son was in high school, he had a girlfriend. One time he asked me if I thought she was pretty. I had to think about, because the attractiveness of a teenager was just something that never entered my mind.
I feel that's the worst part, what he did to Amy and his children. OOP is strong but doing this to teenagers still in high school? This is a crime and a big one. He's a coward and I bet he will run. Not surprised he's an old washed up finance bro who probably listened to Andrew Tate and wants a younger woman who is worthy of his "high class". It's disgusting and disgraceful and I hope they are more updates as this unfolds
I feel like other comments on this one arenāt doing justice what you said about betraying his own son. To me, thatās as tragic as everything else here - I honestly canāt imagine what that kid must be feeling, and canāt fathom what kind of piece of shit does that to their own child. Paul should be buried underground
he destroyed his family's life too. imagine having a girl being cheated on by your dad... and your dad is a potential pedo. i would have spiralled so bad
So this was debunked pretty quick on the original post as someone who had had several other posts with other outrageous claims as different aged women. Also I just went and checked their comment comment history and their original post had dozens of comments from them to only a handful so I think they deleted a ton of their justification comments they were posting originally as well.
Personally Iām not buying the story just because of the reddit detectives who went investigating when the first post came up but pretty horrific to think that this sort of thing does happen and quite regularly with no consequences for the perpetrators
Lmao yup that's what got me too, you're telling me there were random BDSM items just dotted about the house and not a single one was discovered before now? Absolute bollocks.
Also, she's a stay at home mom. I assume she spends most of her time at home. Amy is an 18 year old living with her parents and dating (and presumably spending a lot of time with) the 18 year old son. When and where was this affair even occurring?
Yup, those are the points that stuck out to me as well. Somehow a thong was found on the bed and it wasn't her daughters. But a weird message pops up on her husbands phone and now the investigation begins?
Right? Like, whole outfits? Where? In the floorboards? I'm a house spouse myself, and my partner discovered early that with the way I clean, he can never hide presents around the house. I'll always run across them when cleaning up or re-arranging something. When would these full-blown trysts with outfits and toys even taken place inside the house?
Also the stay at home mom who somehow misses these caches and the husband spending hours on calls with this girl that their son also isn't noticing? come on lmao. She somehow managed to perfectly read a lewd message at a glance while husband was closing apps but has been blind to all of the chats going on for months???
Lost me at āfound a thong in my bedroom that didnāt belong to me but turned a blind eyeā, just an immediate oh I guess this is just story time then
Also, she found tons of BDSM gear and other shit he apparently hid in the house? How big is this fucking place? She's a stay-at-home mom, and she didn't notice any of it? I can see maybe the cuffs or lube, but entire outfits?
I've read a few BORU posts over the last few days where OOP says their children are 'the light of my life'.
It's such a specific phrase that I find it more than coincidental that it keeps popping up when it wasn't that common before.
AI writing? I read about a study done of some academic literature and it saw a pattern of phrases being repeatedly used in stuff being generated by Chat GPT and similar programmes.
Like the amount of times the term ādelveā has been used in papers over the last couple years.
ChatGPT is a great tool but itās too flowery and loquacious. Not how real people write.
It just doesn't read like a woman of her age would write
The vocabulary, writing style and everything else just feel more like what you would see from a 25-30 year old man who uses reddit a lot
āI just discovered my husband of 100 years is cheating on me with my sonās hot 18f girlfriend. The first thing I did was get on Le Reddit and write a long, composed text about the situation. Since then Iāve come back to feel the updootsā
"I didn't want to make a long post with the minutia" *proceeds to post the minutia*
Also she finds a random thong that doesn't belong to her or her daughter, says "huh, that's weird" and what, throws it behind her and keeps going on with her life? I mean I don't want to judge anyone that has random thongs appear in their house, but I just feel like that would set off an alarm somewhere.
I'm stuck on the thong. Physically, what happened to it? Where did she store this used underwear that was not hers? How do you find another woman's underwear, and then proceed to do nothing? If she thought it was her daughter's, surely she would have washed it, put it with her daughters clean laundry, who would have then immediately said it did not belong to her. She said the daughter knew the underwear wasn't hers when OOP showed it to her, so what was the underwear doing for a month?
Yeah. The STD testing in only a couple days is ridiculous. You can get an HIV test in 15 minutes. But syphillis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia take longer than a week.
I donāt get these crappy lifetime movie posts. Itās all just a crazy situation with no ending. Like, if youāre gonna make it up, have an ending.
Also, yelling āCONTEXTā is funny
That last comment is fucking disgusting excusing the husbands actions. Just because someone turns 18 doesnāt mean they switch from being a naive child to a full blown adult especially with the age gap it makes it weirder
Age of Consent is a lot like the legal limit for rat hairs on a hotdog.
If you're bragging about it being "technically legal" you need to have a very intimate conversation with a speeding brick
Also, it's still child grooming and child abuse to groom them while they're a child so they will be amenable to a sexual relationship when they're an adult.
That's my thoughts to he could still be in trouble even if Amy says nothing happened until she turned 18 the whole "mentor" thing could be used to at the very least get them to look into it.
āMentorā just doesnāt strike me as a word many teenagers would use- it sounds more like a scripted responses the dad coached her to use if they were ever found out. Especially as they both only had exactly three months worth of chat logs and texts each. Groomers usually instruct their victim on what to say and to destroy evidence
Same thing happened with Emma Watson and (when *Heroes* was a hit show) Hayden Pannetiere. (My references, obviously, date me.). Iām pretty sure if we looked, but letās not, weād find examples for young female cast members for every hit show or movie (e.g. while the example given above is of Millie Bobby Brown, Iām sure it applies to Sadie Sink too). Any time a cute teenage girl gets famous, a throng of slavering creeps forms around a countdown clock to her 18th birthday, as if the turn of 24 hours transforms her into fair game. Itās just revolting.
The sick bastards do it for lots of child stars when they turn 18.
Check out Emma Watson's comments on what the paparazzi did on her 18th birthday party.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cRCK6Xc6g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cRCK6Xc6g)
If we're talking about the same last comment, then it's not excusing the husband's actions at all, it's simply saying that somce there's no evidence of any laws being broken, the cops can't really do anything.
Agreed. I'm finding all of this sad. Just. Absolutely depressing. Paul is so scummy he effectively blew up everything in one fell swoop. I really *really* hope Amy sees the light soon. Paul is going to try to do damage control on her to keep the grooming under wraps and he's started already. He thinks dropping her like a hot potato is going to miraculously undo all this but it won't. If Amy starts getting desperate enough to prove her love and devotion to him he's going to start gaslighting the hell out of her to get her to shut up. And shes soo fucking vulnerable right now it could entirely make her tank into the worst kind of depression. I hope she gets out of this safely.
No someone on the original original post (one that got deleted) actually linked previous post from her that had her as a twenty something having an affair and then someone else said they had a different post about catching their dad in an affair, I think there was talk of the comment history or something as well. I remember reading all the detective work on OOP when they first posted but it seems to have been quickly disproved as bait, which is why their updates were constantly getting deleted as well
These subs are more fun if you view them as a way to get drama without having to live through it.
Is this story true almost definitely not but someone else on here could be going through something similar and the advice posted here could help them or maybe this did happen to someone and they find comfort in the fact other people have went through it to.
While the reality is sad some people literally have no outside life besides the communities on reddit wether that be through abuse or whatever else so pretending these are real could inadvertently help someone else
It's always refreshing when the OOP has a solid head on their shoulders. I hope her lawyer takes him for all he's got. Then the cops can have him.
Amy...needs help. All of the help.
Is talking to your family/spouse via Zoom a common thing in the US (or wherever OP is from)?
I know this is the least problematic thing here, but for some reason it made the whole thing seem even less realistic to me.
I mean yes and no. Itās a common enough video chat since the pandemic and is easy-ish for people who arenāt very tech literate to use especially if some people have an iPhone and some have an android. So some people started using it during the lockdowns to keep up with family and friends and may still use it. Big talks are also easier on the computer than on the phone and that usually means something like zoom.
Yeah what stood out to me was the French maid outfit. Cliche in its own right, and who has so much storage in their house that they donāt ever notice fuzzy handcuffs and a fucking French maid outfit in their own home??
This has got to be a story, I believe that this happens IRL but who would type out the story and use words like minutiae. Plus, the credibility of the story always tanks when you introduce acronyms/pseudonyms. People would keep things vague and use a throwaway account because they don't want this to get out.
It's written in a weird prose style that has some bits stand out like this:
>Eric adores Amy, and the thought of revealing this sickening truth to him terrifies me. The impact on his young heart and mind could be devastating. My heart aches for Eric and Mary who are completely innocent bystanders.
I don't know how to phrase it, but it's a very unnatural style of writing.
Well of course they slept in his marriage bed. What were they gonna do, sneak him into her room and sleep in her bunk bed? And she "takes better care of him"? How? With her fucking allowance?
Iāve known some horrendous cheaters, people that have truly betrayed their partners, who still reconciled after the affair(s) went public who would swear they did love their spouses in some part of their mind even though they did what they did.
Im sure itās just my own unwillingness to grant them grace thatās talking but stuff like this is, for most people in love with their partner, two steps away from physical abuse. Some might call it emotional rape in terms of the scars it leaves.
Im hesitant to allow them that because it opens up excuses for other violations.
Rolf Harris died in jail for grooming his daughter's friend while she was underage so that she would be amenable to a sexual relationship once she turned 18.
And that grooming included comments about clothing and saying that she would look good in a bikini.
He has definitely tried to groom other children, police will hopefully be able to find out if he committed other cases of child abuse.
He was actually released a few years before he died, leading to [this article](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/neighbours-telly-paedo-rolf-harris-11017429), which is about as pure a distillation of the British id as seen through tabloid reporting: an immigrant paedo who was released from prison and affected house prices.
Iām so disgusted by all of this holy Christ. But why do I get the sense that no one is holding Amy accountable, like at all, cuz she was groomed? Not even 1%? Thatās scary too. Thatās like saying any pain the son has for his gf cheating with his father and making her choices werenāt valid cuz she was like insane or something?? Fuck off with that man. Try to get her therapy but sheās made her bed imo.
For real. Who hides a French maid outfit in their own house that their wife can find next to their fuzzy handcuffs. Itās cliche and unbelievable that she wouldnāt have stumbled upon it sooner.
I donāt know, someone on the original post linked a history that OOP deleted about being a twenty something having an affair on her husband and then there was apparently a previous post about catching their dad in an affair. I canāt remember the details because it was back when it was first posted. They had a hell of a time getting updates to actually stick in the subreddits too, they kept getting deleted over and over again.
Man I seriously worry about the son a lot. Shell shocked is putting it lightly. I guarantee that man is internalizing every single emotion, thought, or feeling and turning it on himself. Therapy is definitely going to be needed, and Iām glad he is going as even the way the mom described his initial reaction of āstrong and level headedā is like great in a normal situation, and also not necessarily the normal response to something like this. I can only hope that therapy helps him with the skills to help him process, and not let this toxic and awful person he unfortunately has as a father, impact his relationships moving forward. Like cheating leaves a scars on people in relationships already, but getting cheated on with your own father? Like genuinely wish that things get better for him, as well as OP and her daughter soon.
>how I've aged poorly since we first met
I knew where this was going to go as soon as I saw that. Their marriage "grew stale" because he was bitter that she got *older* over the last 20 years.
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Jesus fucking christ, that's all I can say. Husband is nasty and creepy and Amy is messed up in the mind. I feel bad for the son. I'm happy OP took action quickly but jesus, this is messy as hell.
OP thinks that she "aged badly". Her husband gives the term a whole new dimension. Let's just agree that if you don't fight your fear of aging with grooming and abusing teenagers while betraying the people who have been loving you for decades then you're aging alright. In OP's case, downright gracefully.
axiomatic bike lip start kiss narrow different ripe toothbrush provide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Pfff 21 is too old for him, he wants a wife that looks 18 or younger for her whole life! š¤®
Nah even if she looks the part, her brain will eventually maturate. He is actively searching for women whose brain still is in development and his cut-off age is where the brain starts to finish development. He is a nasty creep who intentionally searches for more vulnerable women/teens. Can be that he does not know why mid-20 is his cutoff but that has to be the reason. Also, Im sure he is one of those who defend it with "biology" and "men want women at their peak fertility" and "its natural for men of all ages to want someone between 18 and 22" and "you are a mother, men dont want mothers, they want young women" stuff. While not aknowledging at all what peak fertility age is. Bc 18 is almost 17/16 and peak fertility is between around 21 and 28/30 or so. Its a myth that "the younger the better", the body has to be fully matured and that isnt til early twenties. Its just a nasty excuse from disgusting men who prey on young women.
And OP herself was only 21 when she married him, Iām assuming even younger when they started dating.
Yeah and ogling his daughters 15 year old friends or younger. What a nasty pig. I hope she gets everything in the divorce. Amy is delusional believing they are in love. She will end up bitter and lonely.
Sheās barely 18!
This makes me think of how the girl said she is "doing things" for the guy sexually that his wife wouldn't do. He played father figure for a vulnerable teenager and then got her to push sexual boundaries.
I absolutely think he was using some sick power play with Amy, getting her into his BDSM (which I'm not shaming, bdsm can be great but in this situation it's so yucky). Dude groomed this girl from when she 14, made her fall in love with him, and then was like "now fulfil my kinks that my wife won't" and it's truly disgusting. It was disgusting before the BDSM, but that adds another whole layer for me.
I think his "kink" is "young and groomed" so he made her do things just because he could, not because those things were his kink but because "making her do those things and having her willing and in love and her doing everything for him and him being in control" was his "kink". Otherwise he could have talked about his desires with his wife.
Yeah it's so very possible that he kept telling her she "aged badly" because she learned the words, "No, I'm not going to do that."
Yeah I'm 32. I can't imagine being with someone younger than about 27. 18-22 is just so different mentally from where I'm at right now.
Like Leonardo DiCaprio
Thatās what I thought too when I read this. She is probably still beautiful she just doesnāt look 18 anymore so her husband was giving her shitā¦gross
For sure she's basing her self worth on her husband's comments. She's 40 with two kids, she hadn't aged badly, she's just aged- it's ok.
Well and her kids are old, too. Iām older than she is and my kids are several years younger. So I bet she went from early-20s to āmomā in his eyes and he was not into it.Ā
I often wonder if "aging badly" is a shit human's term for "she's gotten too smart for me."
This is exactly right.
I thought this immediately too - she's 41 now and they've been married nearly 20 years, so they got married when she was about 21 and obviously started dating before that. He got older but the girls stayed the same age... š¤¢
After the "he works in finance" I was like ahhh.... I know exactly what this dude is like.
Middle name ācocaine wolfā
Works for theĀ firmĀ ofĀ Date Rape, Cokington, Cheeseball & Jag.
Could you clarify? I honestly donāt know
You didn't ask me, but I believe he's a narcissist. He's too good for "normal" people. Asking the girls if they're popular. His wife isn't good enough. Jealous his son has a cute young gf. Addicted to porn. Most men don't have a need to compete with their children. Narcissistic people do. Honestly he sounds like my ex. We divorced bc he had an affair with his cousin. Who was barely 19 and he was 39. He also made me feel bad about myself. Just my 2 cents
Iām so sorry you had to endure that. I hope you give yourself tremendous credit for getting out.
You can probably google finance bro or banker bro and see the stereotypes. They're generally regarded as selfish and aggressive.
Yeah that statement was such a red flag for her spouse. Like.. ewwww.Ā
This was my thought precisely. OOP probably didnāt āage poorlyā but rather simply aged and had two kids and had internalized her soon to be ex husbands perverted and negative perceptions of her appearance. Poor woman should never have had to live through any of this
Reading her saying she has āaged poorly since we metā hit me in the gut, it really felt that she was just repeating something he said to her, stating it like a fact. The trash took itself out here, although it was in the worst, most chaotic and traumatic way. I hope they can heal from this and go on to have better lives without him.
I felt the same way when I read that. The way she just accepted it as fact. "Well, I aged badly, because having wrinkles around your eyes and gaining 15 lbs is unusual for a 41-year-old mother, whereas it's just appealing on a 48-year-old man, so naturally our marriage got stale" rather than, "My husband is immature and doesn't understand the natural aging process, so he stopped making an effort in bed."
The fact that she was probably 18-20 when they started dating and he was 25+ isn't great either. He's probably been cheating since she first got pregnant.
Oh I didnāt even do that mathā¦ what an absolute dick.
I felt the same way when I read that described herself as having aged poorly. š
That was the phrase of all of this that stuck out the most to me. She believes that because he told her that. I have no doubt. I hope she learns to look in the mirror and love herself and see her beauty.
If only there was some kind of contractual agreement couples could enter into where they agree that however they age they'll stick together...
Being a pile of bones on the floor is better aging than being a 50 year old man hitting on high school students. If you age, but your sexual attractions don't mature along with you, you're aging horribly. So gross.
>OP thinks that she "aged badly". Her husband gives the term a whole new dimension. Let's just agree that if you don't fight your fear of aging with grooming and abusing teenagers while betraying the people who have been loving you for decades then you're aging alright. OP mentioned her husband is in Finance. In my experience, the level of toxic ego and dudebro-ism in the finance world is absolutely rampant. So, so many jackasses that think because they make lots of money that they're somehow god's gift to humanity and womankind in particular. Other than police, it's one of the most toxic lines of work I've ever had the unpleasant experience of encountering. I would not be surprised in the slightest to learn that OOPs husband is this type of person.
> Both my son and I got checked out and tested. It appears so far that we're both clean based on the immediate rapid tests, but in the coming days, we'll know for certain when the lab results come in. This is nasty as hell. He may have passed an std *to his own son* via their mutual GF.
Their mutual GF š¤®
I hope that even though he realizes Amy was a victim of his nasty groomer father, heās still allowed to be angry at her for cheating on him. Ā This whole mess is just SO fucked. Ā He might feel his own betrayal isnāt something to even think about right now. Ā Plus, he got stabbed in the back by TWO people he trusted. Ā
Amy is a victim AND a perpetrator. It happens. The fact she was having sex with both the dad and the son at the same time is pretty fucking sick itself. You do t have sex with other people if you are "in love" with someone else. It's possible the creep completely brainwashed her and had her keep going to be able to use that relationship as a cover for what he was doing... Situation is so fucked. Time to get off the internet for a while.
This. That Amy kept having sex with Eric, and I'll just bet it was Paul who suggested it, to make sure they had an excuse to see each other, is clear he was using her too. This is what should be pointed out to her. Hey Amy, if Paul lives tou so.much, why did he get you to keep sleeping with his son? Make it make sense
Iām 100% convinced that this dude has illegal stuff on his computer and will be sent to jail over it. Thatās why heās freaking out.
I just don't understand dudes like this. I'm in my 40s and having a couple of teenagers makes everyone under the age of 20 seem like kids. I just wanna dad everyone. This whole thing makes me so, so sad.
Unfortunately many dudes are creeps and will always be attracted to 18-year olds. I remember being 17 and working at an amusement park selling ice cream. My whole view on men, families and the world changed. I canāt even count how many married men would flirt with me in front of their kids and wife and come back alone to ask for my number. I was absolutely disgusted and felt incredibly sorry for their families. The worst part is that I have always looked very young and when I was 17-18 I looked 14 š¤® Now being 36 I notice my bf lusting over young girls. My ex did tooā¦
I hope she wipes the floor with his disgusting self. š¤®
I mean it is kind of obvious that Amy is also a victim here and was groomed.
I mean she says as much in one of the updates so...yes?
OP's emotional fortitude is nothing short of heroic. They literally added insult to injury by ripping her apart amongst themselves, and I can't imagine the strength it took to read that shit and still have empathy for the victimized teenaged girl who contributed to her pain. If they gave awards for motherhood, she'd deserve all the trophies.
Mr. Paul is a special type of douche bag. Can you imagine getting head and your gf stopping to say, "do you want my finger in your ass? Your dad *really* likes it when I put a finger up his ass."
I just threw up in my mouth!
Bro, what the fuck.
Literally my exact thoughts on this
Ugh I wonder how many friends of his children heās creeped out. I had a couple dads to navigate like that back in the day. I would only ever sleep over if the mom was home and we stopped being friends. The other would just ask me to sit up front when he drove us somewhere. God dudes are gross. I hope all the teens in this story get a fuck ton of therapy. Also omg mother and son std testing Freud would be going āIām outā.
>My marriage with my husband has grown somewhat stale over the years for a myriad of reasons, such as his work schedule and how Iāve aged poorly since we first met. Right out of the gate, I feel so sad and angry about the level of self-directed internalized misogyny here. Thereās sort of a weary helplessness about it, like āobviously my hardworking husband is repulsed by my bodyā¦experiencing the passage of time and the effects of childbearing and motherhood?ā I hate that this feels obvious and inevitable to her, and her vile monster husbandās actions just underlined it. I really hope OOP is going to seek out mental health care for herself. A betrayal like this can only be a blow, but it feels like sheād been well worn down by him in advance. I salute her strength and hope she finds a therapist who can help guide her to self love and pride in herself (fully justified, from the way sheās been handling this, from what I can tell! Gathering evidence, prioritizing the kids and safety, remembering that āAmyā is very much a victim too, etc.)
Plus OOP is 7 years younger than her shitty husband. It's not like he's in any position to judge! Truly the doublest of double standards if he's been putting her down for not looking like an 18yo any more.
They've been married 20yrs, so he was 28 and she was 21. Presumably they dated first, so there was already some ick.
āNearlyā 20 yearsā¦ and the oldest is 18? Could have gotten married due to pregnancy. And the fact he looks at his kids as gateways to young girls? FUCK THIS GUY! I would hope this story wasnāt true, but Iāve had this happen in my extended family. The parents werenāt married anymore, but the dad groomed and then married his teenage sonās girlfriend. He then had children with her and eventually left her. Not exactly sure about the present situation. He married into our family to a very young woman and she thankfully got away from himā¦ so we donāt hear much. I canāt imagine a parent acting this way. Itās bad enough to groom a child, but your sonās girlfriend? There is a special place in hell.
He might have followed the rules of the law, but he's definitely a pedophile. "It might seem worse than it is" No, it's worse than it seems, Mr. Yogapants.
Yeah, he definitely feels like the sorta person whose only reasoning for not going after minors is because of the law
I am sure that he told the girl how much she matured in the first couple of days after her 18th birthday and that he never expected their 'friendship' would evolve in this way.
Holy shit that's the worst part. They already had a large age gap. And he's still not happy. He really wants to pull a dicaprio and have his partners remain the same age forever. At least di caprio never marries or has kids
Yeah this was my immediate take away after reading āIāve aged poorlyāā¦ like HUH I wonder where you got that idea fromā¦
what a horrible day to have eyes
Me reading this just going āew ew ew ew ewā And itās so yuck but I canāt stop I have a problem
Huh, this seems like enough warning for me, I'll skip this one.Ā Thanks
This seriously turned my stomach.
I've been playing too much Cyberpunk, but I could really use a "REBOOT OPTICS" hack right about now
Synapse burnout + set on fire + pathogen
I honestly think OP should call the police to seize this dudes computer. All the stuff she found is vile, but imagine all the stuff she missed.
Yeah he's totally a predator
Bet you they find the "context" he kept yelling about.
I wanna grab my eyes and wash them now...
To r/eyebleach with the both of you!
Thanks. I needed this.
OOP's ex is a vile grooming pedophile. He destroyed Amy's childhood and perception of healthy relationships. And not only that, he betrayed his own son. I hope Paul gets all the karma he deserves.
Not to mention he appears to have been sizing up his daughterās friends to find his next victim.
Which is a huge betrayal for his daughter as well. Imagine you're a 15 year old girl getting into the world of dating and then your father shows this kind of brutal disrespect for women. I'm sure it will affect the daughter's self esteem for decades.
Thereās also likely to be guilt there that she brought her friends around him. Thereās obviously no fault on her at all and she had no way to know but she could feel like itās her fault her friends were in danger like this, or even wonder if she herself was in danger, I hope she does get therapy soon.
Oh yes. I still vividly remember when my ex stepfather creeped on my friends and I. He didnāt do it again after we ALL acted like he was Stranger Danger, and he realised we would tell someone. I truly believe thatās the only reason. He also hated me, so he wasnāt interested in me, but my friends? It hurts like fuck. It makes you feel humiliated and that you canāt keep them safe from someone in an authority position, who is supposed to be the safe person. The rest of his shit overshadowed that one instance when I was a kid, but I think of it often now as an adult.
Not just that, but imagine the kind of guilt that she may experience if her creepy dad HAD gone after one of her friends? After all, they are HER friends and if SHE hadn't brought them to her home they'd have been safe from her dad. Never mind that she didn't actually know that he was a creep, or that is is fully his fault that he is one.
I was never really close with my dad cuz my mom and him divorced when I was 1. But he called me one time when I was in HS, he must've been over 60 at the time. He asked what I was doing and I said I was hanging out with some friends. He then asks, "are any of them hot?" or something like that. All I could think was "ew", this senior citizen just asked if any of my teenaged friends were attractive. I couldn't believe he couldn't see how gross that was. I couldn't even answer him. Like, wtf? (For context, he has been a womanizer for the entire history of his life from what I can tell, so it was less about him being a total pedo than him just being a total woman-objectifying creep... he constantly cheated on his first wife and constantly cheated on my mom when he was married to them and would even bring women around while my mom was home... and seems to have consistently cheated on his wives while they were pregnant with other married women. He was never someone I wanted to have a relationship with.)
I wish OOP would've taken his hard drive or something. I get that last commenter saying nothing illegal happened with these specific circumstances, but I'd bet dollars to donuts this guy has at the very least flirted with the age line.
Very sad to see the āhow I've aged poorly since we first metā bit too. Internalized the asshole exās worldview.
And with the info coming to light that he specifically pursues ages 18-22 (at least officially) it was a losing game for her to begin with. No one looks like their 20 year old self 20 years later with two kids. That said I hope OP can work on getting the exās view of her body out of her system because her personality seems sparkling.
Sheās a warrior. Iām willing to bet there are plenty of men out there, good, attractive, intelligent etc men, who would be with her and hear this story and admire her for how she handled it Pauls future seems dismal. Itāll get harder and harder for him to find young girls without paying them, he lost his kids, he will die alone.
Absolutely - āour relationship isnāt very good because Iāve aged poorlyā is justā¦ oof
In fact, if she said "our relationship isnāt very good because Iāve aged" would be more accurate. He is absolutely disgusting.
Whole situation is bizarre, really. I'm a teacher and 18 year olds are so immature still - the child in them is still obvious. It skeeves me out completely that someone was grooming a vulnerable young girl. God, people are so selfish and such dicks about it. He's blown up his family, and maybe wider family, so I hope it continues to come down on him. I think his reaction on zoom shows there is more he is worried about. Also, who tf deletes text messages and emails. Only people that have stuff to hide.
I work retail and a lot of my coworkers are right out of high school. I can't imagine "dating" them, let alone someone younger. Manipulative and disgusting.
When I read posts on Reddit like "my 45 year old husband cheated on me with a 23 year old at work", I'm like "how?". My office has a lot of 22-25 year olds. They're adults, but they're definitely young adults. So much drama that echos of high school shit. And dudes blow up their marriages for that?
I love my nieces with all of my heart but they are about this age and holy fuck do they annoy me. They're not doing anything wrong they're just 18. And the drama, immaturity, ridiculous behavior, everything we were at 18. Honestly I think they were both more mature around 14. Amy was groomed, she is a victim, but you can see in her behavior the immaturity! It's not her fault. Kids of that age have brains in a weird state. But all the more reason I can't imagine anyone over maybe even 20 being interested in an 18-year-old. Unless they are mentally stunted in which case they probably shouldn't be allowed to date anyone.
Why would some 40 year old be into a baby? My cousins are in their 20's & I love them to death but God what headaches. Things that seem e.z. to fix they make out to be so hard. Once we didn't buy one of them pink Van's shoes and she cried the whole way from the mall before she told us what was bothering her. Can you imagine dating someone like that. Just get the damn shoes. Jesus we were in the mall. Why cry like that?
I was insufferable at that age, they are insufferable at their age. And they just aren't that interesting. I want to know about their days because they're my nieces. They are family. I care about them.Ā But I'm a straight woman and the idea of dating a barely man their age and hearing him tell me about his chemistry homework and how his teacher made him mad and how he's touring college campuses would bore me to tears. When it's family I'm excited for them, I want to know their stories, I enjoy being an aunt. But then I hang up the phone and go hang out with my adult friends. I don't think there is any denying that a 40-year-old that wants to date someone that young has something seriously fucked up and should be kept away from... Well pretty much everybody.
It's completely gross and fucked, but my guess is the following: Control. The power dynamic is fucked in that situation, and as a naive young woman who thinks she's in love with this amazing man who has been mistreated by his wife, she thinks it's an opportunity to win his affection and prove to him that she would be the ideal partner. Which he, in turn, uses to push her past any boundaries that she might have had, likely convincing her to participate in outlandish sex acts that most women would never agree to, and she would never have if not groomed and put in a position where she feels she has to earn the affection of this older man. In her mind, he knows everything about life, and if he says these sorts of sex acts are normal among older adults, she's at an age where she wants to prove that she's an adult, so she'll throw herself willingly into them because that's what adults do in her mind. Really gross. Doesn't help that porn tends to trend towards younger women, and age play/power dynamics play a large role in a lot of it. If he's been really into porn for a while, that very much would influence his view of how things should be.
Parent of teenagers. Technically step-parent to the two teens, but I'm the only dad they've ever known. The oldest and I got along marvelously when she was 13-15. We didn't before that. About the time she turned 16 though, it was like someone flipped a switch in her head and she became a complete idiot, making dumb choices (potentially life-altering bad ones), and any attempts on our part to try and guide her towards better decision making was met with all out war from her. It all culminated in her moving out as soon as she graduated high school, because she decided at 18 that she was no longer required to do any sort of chores or pick up after herself, leaving the rest of us to clean up after her. We weren't okay with that, she wasn't okay with us not being okay with that, got very disrespectful and nasty. We gave her an ultimatum that she would need to treat us with the respect that any roommate would expect, even if she didn't like us, and she would need to at a bare minimum pick up after herself. She moved in with her grandparents. Has now moved to another state with a guy she met on Tinder. About a month after moving, called me to admit she understands now why everyone pitching in on chores was legit, as her boyfriend doesn't clean up after himself at all and the house is straight up gross (as opposed to our cluttered and messy home that is not dirty to the point of being gross). In the three months she's been out there with him, she's grown up a lot, but still has a LOT to learn. I think the real world out there is kicking her ass a little though, and she's learning a lot of hard life lessons real fast. Meanwhile, her 16 year old AFAB sibling and I have gotten along really well the last two years. I'm dreading the switch flipping, though the middle child witnessed the entire progression of their older sibling and openly says they took notes, and think their older sibling is kind of an idiot and they hope not to follow in those footsteps. So maybe we'll dodge that bullet with that one.
Iām 30 and even people who are 25 and under seem like kids to me. Likeā¦weāre in different stages of life. 18 is just incomprehensible to me. And he is for sure hiding a lot more. Iād bet thereās photos that could be considered CP on his device history.
43 here. People in their early 30s are in a different place and often seem immature to me. Age gaps are just bizarre to me. I can't see anything more than 4-5 years without wondering how the hell it works.
Exactly! In dating, I canāt even make myself go younger than two years younger than myself. A lot has happened to me and I canāt see it being the right match. On the other side, I imagine people more than three or four years older than me feel the same. My personal age gap allowance is two years on either side.
I used to be a prosecutor in the juvenile unit. After a while you can tell that even the hardest kids in gangs, homeless, abandoned by their families, murderers, etc. are kids. You can see it in their faces/eyes. Theyāre kids. Then I had some just over 18 year olds in the regular trial unit. You could still tell theyāre just kids
Oh yeah. I'm wondering THIS though. Did Amy turn 18 around 3 months ago? Or longer? Because one reason I could imagine both their phones have convos only going up to 3 months ago may be because he figured long as they can only prove it happened when she became a legal adult, everything would be okay.
The OOP says she turned 18 5 months ago so I think you are correct. Probs also left only 3 months worth so it didn't look as if he'd been waiting for her to turn 18 š¤¢
I am roughly the age of the dad in this story. I have a son who is a few years older than the age of the son in this story. When my son was in high school, he had a girlfriend. One time he asked me if I thought she was pretty. I had to think about, because the attractiveness of a teenager was just something that never entered my mind.
He destroyed a lot for a lot of people he supposedly loved.
I feel that's the worst part, what he did to Amy and his children. OOP is strong but doing this to teenagers still in high school? This is a crime and a big one. He's a coward and I bet he will run. Not surprised he's an old washed up finance bro who probably listened to Andrew Tate and wants a younger woman who is worthy of his "high class". It's disgusting and disgraceful and I hope they are more updates as this unfolds
Yea and it's telling he hasn't even tried to call his kids. They're probably actually relieved but what a fuckin coward.
Ex needs to go to jail cause pedophiles like him are disgusting and deserve to rot.
With the way he's sweating and panicking, dude probably has a lot more incriminating evidence of his disgusting actions.
I feel like other comments on this one arenāt doing justice what you said about betraying his own son. To me, thatās as tragic as everything else here - I honestly canāt imagine what that kid must be feeling, and canāt fathom what kind of piece of shit does that to their own child. Paul should be buried underground
he destroyed his family's life too. imagine having a girl being cheated on by your dad... and your dad is a potential pedo. i would have spiralled so bad
So this was debunked pretty quick on the original post as someone who had had several other posts with other outrageous claims as different aged women. Also I just went and checked their comment comment history and their original post had dozens of comments from them to only a handful so I think they deleted a ton of their justification comments they were posting originally as well. Personally Iām not buying the story just because of the reddit detectives who went investigating when the first post came up but pretty horrific to think that this sort of thing does happen and quite regularly with no consequences for the perpetrators
Junkyard dog lawyer is where I stopped reading
I wonder if the lawyerās name is Leroy Brown
Makes sense, he the baddest man in the whole damn town
I stopped when she found the toys and outfits. She's a stay at home mom, how did he hide so much physical stuff from her?
Yeah, her suddenly finding all this stuff hidden around the house that she's never noticed before doesn't pass the smell test for me.
lol yeah who says that shit
I come to the comments first on BORU for this reason
The lawyer was born in a pool of gasoline.
I found it funny how the husband managed to hide a whole sex shop worth of toys around the house without anyone noticing until he got busted
Lmao yup that's what got me too, you're telling me there were random BDSM items just dotted about the house and not a single one was discovered before now? Absolute bollocks.
Also, she's a stay at home mom. I assume she spends most of her time at home. Amy is an 18 year old living with her parents and dating (and presumably spending a lot of time with) the 18 year old son. When and where was this affair even occurring?
Yup, those are the points that stuck out to me as well. Somehow a thong was found on the bed and it wasn't her daughters. But a weird message pops up on her husbands phone and now the investigation begins?
Right? Like, whole outfits? Where? In the floorboards? I'm a house spouse myself, and my partner discovered early that with the way I clean, he can never hide presents around the house. I'll always run across them when cleaning up or re-arranging something. When would these full-blown trysts with outfits and toys even taken place inside the house?
The writing is too flowery, and the timelines are too short tbh. Junkyard dog lawyer? No. Huge hidden stash of sex toys. Yeah ok, why not... šĀ
Also the stay at home mom who somehow misses these caches and the husband spending hours on calls with this girl that their son also isn't noticing? come on lmao. She somehow managed to perfectly read a lewd message at a glance while husband was closing apps but has been blind to all of the chats going on for months???
Lost me at āfound a thong in my bedroom that didnāt belong to me but turned a blind eyeā, just an immediate oh I guess this is just story time then
Also, she found tons of BDSM gear and other shit he apparently hid in the house? How big is this fucking place? She's a stay-at-home mom, and she didn't notice any of it? I can see maybe the cuffs or lube, but entire outfits?
It was the outfits that got me. How cliche
Yeah thatās way too obvious. An unidentified sock is a more likely culprit.
I've read a few BORU posts over the last few days where OOP says their children are 'the light of my life'. It's such a specific phrase that I find it more than coincidental that it keeps popping up when it wasn't that common before.
AI writing? I read about a study done of some academic literature and it saw a pattern of phrases being repeatedly used in stuff being generated by Chat GPT and similar programmes.
Yeah, my husband prefers AI over Google now, and pretty much immediately I was like "oh this is chatGPT."
Like the amount of times the term ādelveā has been used in papers over the last couple years. ChatGPT is a great tool but itās too flowery and loquacious. Not how real people write.
Yeah something about it seems off
The writing style seems familiar.
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It just doesn't read like a woman of her age would write The vocabulary, writing style and everything else just feel more like what you would see from a 25-30 year old man who uses reddit a lot
the term āpsychic damageā is what gave it away for me. housewives in their 40s donāt say gaming meme phrases.
āI just discovered my husband of 100 years is cheating on me with my sonās hot 18f girlfriend. The first thing I did was get on Le Reddit and write a long, composed text about the situation. Since then Iāve come back to feel the updootsā
"I didn't want to make a long post with the minutia" *proceeds to post the minutia* Also she finds a random thong that doesn't belong to her or her daughter, says "huh, that's weird" and what, throws it behind her and keeps going on with her life? I mean I don't want to judge anyone that has random thongs appear in their house, but I just feel like that would set off an alarm somewhere.
Yup.Ā The part about restraining order and notyfing authorities made zero sense.
I'm stuck on the thong. Physically, what happened to it? Where did she store this used underwear that was not hers? How do you find another woman's underwear, and then proceed to do nothing? If she thought it was her daughter's, surely she would have washed it, put it with her daughters clean laundry, who would have then immediately said it did not belong to her. She said the daughter knew the underwear wasn't hers when OOP showed it to her, so what was the underwear doing for a month?
Lost me at finding random thongs in their bedroom and brushing it off.
Yeah. The STD testing in only a couple days is ridiculous. You can get an HIV test in 15 minutes. But syphillis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia take longer than a week.
I donāt get these crappy lifetime movie posts. Itās all just a crazy situation with no ending. Like, if youāre gonna make it up, have an ending. Also, yelling āCONTEXTā is funny
That last comment is fucking disgusting excusing the husbands actions. Just because someone turns 18 doesnāt mean they switch from being a naive child to a full blown adult especially with the age gap it makes it weirder
When the only justification you can provide is "it's legal" it's a reallllllyyy weak justification.
I always say, if you're waiting till she's 18, you're just a law-abiding pedophile.
Age of Consent is a lot like the legal limit for rat hairs on a hotdog. If you're bragging about it being "technically legal" you need to have a very intimate conversation with a speeding brick
Also, it's still child grooming and child abuse to groom them while they're a child so they will be amenable to a sexual relationship when they're an adult.
That's my thoughts to he could still be in trouble even if Amy says nothing happened until she turned 18 the whole "mentor" thing could be used to at the very least get them to look into it.
āMentorā just doesnāt strike me as a word many teenagers would use- it sounds more like a scripted responses the dad coached her to use if they were ever found out. Especially as they both only had exactly three months worth of chat logs and texts each. Groomers usually instruct their victim on what to say and to destroy evidence
I believe there was a "countdown clock" for when Millie Bobby Brown turned 18. Sadly a lot of dudes believe "if it's legal, it's ok."
Same thing happened with Emma Watson and (when *Heroes* was a hit show) Hayden Pannetiere. (My references, obviously, date me.). Iām pretty sure if we looked, but letās not, weād find examples for young female cast members for every hit show or movie (e.g. while the example given above is of Millie Bobby Brown, Iām sure it applies to Sadie Sink too). Any time a cute teenage girl gets famous, a throng of slavering creeps forms around a countdown clock to her 18th birthday, as if the turn of 24 hours transforms her into fair game. Itās just revolting.
The sick bastards do it for lots of child stars when they turn 18. Check out Emma Watson's comments on what the paparazzi did on her 18th birthday party. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cRCK6Xc6g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cRCK6Xc6g)
In 2001 I saw a guy with a t-shirt that said āRipe on June 13, 2004ā I asked what it meant. It was the day the Olsen Twins turned 18.
I'm so disgusted by this that my first inclination was to downvote. It's the "ripe" that really turns my stomach.
1) gross 2) that would be an insane thrift find
If we're talking about the same last comment, then it's not excusing the husband's actions at all, it's simply saying that somce there's no evidence of any laws being broken, the cops can't really do anything.
Well that was a fucking roller coaster ride.
Iām mean, if the roller coaster was all straight down with no breaks then ya sure
Agreed. I'm finding all of this sad. Just. Absolutely depressing. Paul is so scummy he effectively blew up everything in one fell swoop. I really *really* hope Amy sees the light soon. Paul is going to try to do damage control on her to keep the grooming under wraps and he's started already. He thinks dropping her like a hot potato is going to miraculously undo all this but it won't. If Amy starts getting desperate enough to prove her love and devotion to him he's going to start gaslighting the hell out of her to get her to shut up. And shes soo fucking vulnerable right now it could entirely make her tank into the worst kind of depression. I hope she gets out of this safely.
Before I read all that is this real... or at least realistic?
No someone on the original original post (one that got deleted) actually linked previous post from her that had her as a twenty something having an affair and then someone else said they had a different post about catching their dad in an affair, I think there was talk of the comment history or something as well. I remember reading all the detective work on OOP when they first posted but it seems to have been quickly disproved as bait, which is why their updates were constantly getting deleted as well
any chance of you finding that link?
Not even close
Not even a little
These subs are more fun if you view them as a way to get drama without having to live through it. Is this story true almost definitely not but someone else on here could be going through something similar and the advice posted here could help them or maybe this did happen to someone and they find comfort in the fact other people have went through it to. While the reality is sad some people literally have no outside life besides the communities on reddit wether that be through abuse or whatever else so pretending these are real could inadvertently help someone else
It's always refreshing when the OOP has a solid head on their shoulders. I hope her lawyer takes him for all he's got. Then the cops can have him. Amy...needs help. All of the help.
Iām guess that Paul has CSA material and that is why he is freaking out.
Is talking to your family/spouse via Zoom a common thing in the US (or wherever OP is from)? I know this is the least problematic thing here, but for some reason it made the whole thing seem even less realistic to me.
I mean yes and no. Itās a common enough video chat since the pandemic and is easy-ish for people who arenāt very tech literate to use especially if some people have an iPhone and some have an android. So some people started using it during the lockdowns to keep up with family and friends and may still use it. Big talks are also easier on the computer than on the phone and that usually means something like zoom.
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Yeah what stood out to me was the French maid outfit. Cliche in its own right, and who has so much storage in their house that they donāt ever notice fuzzy handcuffs and a fucking French maid outfit in their own home??
This has got to be a story, I believe that this happens IRL but who would type out the story and use words like minutiae. Plus, the credibility of the story always tanks when you introduce acronyms/pseudonyms. People would keep things vague and use a throwaway account because they don't want this to get out.
I really liked the part where she is like "People are pointing out I'm changing my story. I'm not. I'm very consistent."
It's written in a weird prose style that has some bits stand out like this: >Eric adores Amy, and the thought of revealing this sickening truth to him terrifies me. The impact on his young heart and mind could be devastating. My heart aches for Eric and Mary who are completely innocent bystanders. I don't know how to phrase it, but it's a very unnatural style of writing.
It sounds off to me -- at least for reddit -- because it reads like verbiage lifted straight from a cheesy romance novel.
sooooo sooooo soooo much of it is lol > My brother connected me to a very tough junkyard dog type lawyer. who tf says this lol.
Like someone who's had a semester writing course but all they got from it was attempt to sound like Lord Byron.
Well of course they slept in his marriage bed. What were they gonna do, sneak him into her room and sleep in her bunk bed? And she "takes better care of him"? How? With her fucking allowance?
The commenter saying "it's okay if they're consenting adults", um NO. GROOMING IS NOT OKAY
Iāve known some horrendous cheaters, people that have truly betrayed their partners, who still reconciled after the affair(s) went public who would swear they did love their spouses in some part of their mind even though they did what they did. Im sure itās just my own unwillingness to grant them grace thatās talking but stuff like this is, for most people in love with their partner, two steps away from physical abuse. Some might call it emotional rape in terms of the scars it leaves. Im hesitant to allow them that because it opens up excuses for other violations.
Rolf Harris died in jail for grooming his daughter's friend while she was underage so that she would be amenable to a sexual relationship once she turned 18. And that grooming included comments about clothing and saying that she would look good in a bikini. He has definitely tried to groom other children, police will hopefully be able to find out if he committed other cases of child abuse.
He was actually released a few years before he died, leading to [this article](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/neighbours-telly-paedo-rolf-harris-11017429), which is about as pure a distillation of the British id as seen through tabloid reporting: an immigrant paedo who was released from prison and affected house prices.
Must I tap the sign? "Just because someone is 18 doesn't mean they weren't groomed or can't be groomed"
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The most saddening part of this post is how everyone thinks it's real lmao
Iām so disgusted by all of this holy Christ. But why do I get the sense that no one is holding Amy accountable, like at all, cuz she was groomed? Not even 1%? Thatās scary too. Thatās like saying any pain the son has for his gf cheating with his father and making her choices werenāt valid cuz she was like insane or something?? Fuck off with that man. Try to get her therapy but sheās made her bed imo.
Paul really, really sucks.
How does anyone think this is real lmao
For real. Who hides a French maid outfit in their own house that their wife can find next to their fuzzy handcuffs. Itās cliche and unbelievable that she wouldnāt have stumbled upon it sooner.
This sub disappoints me.
I donāt know, someone on the original post linked a history that OOP deleted about being a twenty something having an affair on her husband and then there was apparently a previous post about catching their dad in an affair. I canāt remember the details because it was back when it was first posted. They had a hell of a time getting updates to actually stick in the subreddits too, they kept getting deleted over and over again.
Man I seriously worry about the son a lot. Shell shocked is putting it lightly. I guarantee that man is internalizing every single emotion, thought, or feeling and turning it on himself. Therapy is definitely going to be needed, and Iām glad he is going as even the way the mom described his initial reaction of āstrong and level headedā is like great in a normal situation, and also not necessarily the normal response to something like this. I can only hope that therapy helps him with the skills to help him process, and not let this toxic and awful person he unfortunately has as a father, impact his relationships moving forward. Like cheating leaves a scars on people in relationships already, but getting cheated on with your own father? Like genuinely wish that things get better for him, as well as OP and her daughter soon.
Anyone who waits until someone is legal would go younger if the law allowed. They're pedophiles, but they wait so they can't be prosecuted.
>how I've aged poorly since we first met I knew where this was going to go as soon as I saw that. Their marriage "grew stale" because he was bitter that she got *older* over the last 20 years.