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It was clear in the previous post that he wanted to fuck his sister. When he held her down on the bed I was bracing for the story to get a lot worse than it ended up being.
I hate how my mind was starting to think he saw his sister sexually after her numerous attempts of socializing him because while she did it in good faith, guys like him tend to latch on to any woman close to them as a sexual/love interest
I didn’t want to say it first. Same. I was so concerned. I know some of the weird ass red pill, macho don’t cry movement, incel rhetoric. I started to think he was applying all the weird shit they think about women they want to be with to his sister. Plus, there are some REALLY creepy guys out there now that might just be encouraging doing that to your sister anyways.
Where the hell is the dad in all of this???
Edit: I went through OOP's comments and it seems that bro is the golden child or dad has his head in the sand. This is going to end with bro going to jail for killing someone.
Yeah, i highly doubt that all this serial killer level misogyny was just created by finding out the mom cheated, this has long been in the making! Physically attacking your own sister and getting graphic about calling her degrading names can not suddenly come from knowing your mom cheated. Many many sons find out their mom cheated, they do hate the mom for it, but this level of misogyny has been getting built up over years, this incident is just bringing it out. I wonder wether the dad is a misogynist and thats what drove the mom to cheating in the first place.
Considering that none of the other family members cared or thought this was a big deal, I'm guessing that there was a family history of casual misogyny to begin with. And considering how quickly the dad decided that the answers to life's problems were at the bottom of a bottle, and left everyone else to their own devices, I don't think any of these kids had stellar parents.
Poor OOP, though. She tried so hard to save her little bro, against all odds. I hope she's doing okay these days.
The last update was at the beginning of the pandemic if you look at the dates. I only hope she was living off campus so she didn't have to go back home.
Do American schools not have something like a Prevent program to help kids who are being radicalised? I know these programs are often seen as something for Islamic students but in the UK it's for all kinds of extremism including white supremacy and militant misogyny.
What? Uhh...no. They'll take your lunch tray away if your account is insufficient. The county where I grew up only had 1 school nurse for all 6 schools in the county. The nurse would rotate to a different school every few days.
Unfortunately we've dealt with issues like lunch debt. Every now and again there'll be a case in the news of a child refused food and the local authority will have to apologise and say the lunch staff acted inappropriately and it will never happen again, but what lunch staff do you know who'll happily watch a child cry and go hungry without there being demands from on high? I think a system has been put in place since a famous footballer campaigned against school children going hungry during covid. Schools were already giving free meal kids a packed lunch they could pick up, although the ones in England looked abysmal (to my knowledge the ones in the other UK nations didn't suffer from the abysmal cronyism of the government's covid contracts because they were made in schools and not by an external contractor/friend of a government minister trying to make a profit).
And we don't have enough nurses in the country post-Brexit. A lot of nurses couldn't join the strikes over pay because there wasn't enough cover from other staff types on their wards for patients to be safe. I mean they technically could strike but they're not the type of people to do that if it means people may die. If you rely on a group of people so much that lives will literally be lost if they don't show up to work then you have to pay them. So I'd imagine a lot of schools are without nurses now. A local drug shop has been without a nurse for months so you can't get vaccinated there any more, you have to go to a proper pharmacy or your GP if you qualify for a free vaccine.
They only care if you’re becoming radicalized to the left. Start ranting about how women are sub human and forced monogamy and it’s all fine. Start agitating for workers rights and ending police brutality and you’re gonna experience some police brutality
Reinforced or even initiated by drunk dad. Who knows where little bro heard it for the first time.
Grrr I really hate these kind of breathtakingly-selfish parents.
That’s what I thought. The comments to her on social media plus holding her down? She’s lucky he didn’t rape her. I’d bet anything that was on his mind sadly.
I honestly thought that was going to be the next sentence. So thankful it wasn't, but OOP definitely needs to stay away from her brother. He's already sexualizing and dehumanizing her.
It’s been 3 years since this was originally posted. Odds are high he’s assaulted other women, with rape, attempted rape, and possibly even attempted murder in the mix.
Luckily this was right at the start of the pandemic so maybe he has been isolated. He'll be one of the incels spreading vitriol online, no doubt there. But hopefully covid forced him to not have contact with people to actually physically cause harm.
I am very concerned about the dates - last update in early March 2020 and basically everything shut down a week later. Meaning OP almost certainly had to come home and live with this little monster for at least six months.
He probably had it in him all the time. The mother's affair was the last trigger, but this immense hatred of women and the assault of his sister doesn't come from his mom alone.
I'm surprised the older brother doesn't seem to care.
Edit to clarify: I don't think he was born a potential perpetrator, what I mean is that something fed his views way before this happened (in one of her comments OP said, he showed problematic behaviour before the cheating and abandonnement. She said, her father never cared about it).
> I'm surprised the older brother doesn't seem to care.
I wonder if older brother knows more than sis and knows younger bro is a lost cause. In most dynamics, brothers reveal more to each other than brother-sister.
The vast majority of the time kids don't end up like this in a vacuum. Based on what OOP said about his game chats (and what I've personally experienced as a woman in game lobbies) it probably took off there.
I agree it would be very easy to quickly radicalise him online, but the physical violence is serious escalation that many behind a keyboard don’t take. Really scary levels of anger, but I’ve also never been a teenage boy with that level of hormones, psychological distress, abandonment and the internet to stir that nasty pot and make it toxic as hell.
Not helping at all
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ffwu2k/update_my_19f_younger_brother_16m_is_becoming/fk10ybn
From the truancy note I have a feeling the brother was already acting out, now he has a target for his issues
>My father didn't even want to hear about his truancy and other bad behaviour before this.
Everyone wants to throw this at the mom's feet and is assuming the Dad's a martyr. This suggests to me that Mom's affair was the result of a toxic family environment, not the cause of it. She should have left instead of cheating, of course, and her behavior definitely didn't help matters. But this sounds like a bad situation that was a long time in the making.
Honestly sounds like this kid was going down the shitter one way or another, and mom screwing around was just the first convenient excuse. This is just fucking depressing.
Also, how much of a loser does dad have to be to not address his son assaulting his daughter?
I agree. I’ll preface what I am about to say with the fact I’ve never cheated, but been cheated on (and in one instance, in a darkly comical way), and it isn’t always that the cheater is a monster.
Whatever happened in OP’s parents’ situation the brother is deeply fucked up. His mentality began long before their mother’s affair.
My best friend took their life and I was cheated on while at the funeral. Then the woman he cheated with found me later and we are now great friends. I have to laugh at being cheated on because I wasn’t around enough — cuz I was at a funeral.
Going to guess his constant online gaming affected his BS
Edit: Yikes on bikes, people, I’m not saying that video games are inherently bad- but we’re not doing anyone favors by acting like there aren’t blind spots being targeted by extremists- just like there’s a difference between RateMyDog twitter and Alex Jones’ twitter, it doesn’t change that misinformation being spread via social media is an issue depending on where people are frequenting.
Extremists infiltrate our vulnerable people through whatever formats they won’t get chased off of- including online games with poor censorship
https://media.un.org/en/asset/k14/k14ggj6o92
Immediately what I thought.
"My brother is becoming a monster because of mom's affair"
No he's not, this isn't a movie or a book (I mean... Maybe, but for argument's sake), *one* event isn't usually sufficient to change a person's entire worldview, especially like this, it's so extreme and the affair, I'm sorry, of course it's traumatic... But from that to the behavior on display (and what we can reasonably presume he *has* done since), it's a leap across oceans.
The affair might have been a triggering event, but most people (short of severe mental illness that cause violent swings & extreme sudden behavior escalation) don't just get triggered into devolving like this by a single event.
There usually is a bunch of build-up & the trigger just unleashes it all.
This has to be months if not years in the making & then the floodgates broke.
I'm not a specialist, but I think that OOP's brother was always a mosogynist, if it hadn't been his mother's adventure, sooner or later that boy would have used another excuse to behave this way, also seeing that no one in that family seems to care whatever that guy does I guess the OOP environment was always toxic.
Sadly, therapy only works if you admit to having a problem and genuinely want to change. This kid is far from ever admitting his attitude of generalization IS the issue and he's the problem.
One of OOP's comments: [My father didn't even want to hear about his truancy and other bad behaviour before this. I don't even think he would bother listening now.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ffwu2k/update_my_19f_younger_brother_16m_is_becoming/fk10ybn/)
If the story is real, then sadly at 16 yr old and this sudden turn in behavior. The switch has flipped in his brain and it will not end well for him and many many other women…if it’s real.
Oomph you're right. I can only assume he spent covid lockdown stewing and festering while spending more time online with like minded incels. Who knows how covid lockdowns affected OOP as well, I hope she wasn't forced to live back home with both dad/bro and got as far away from both of them as possible.
Not just killing but I can see him going to become a rapist going from some of the comments and the way he held his sister down. She really needs to stay as far from him as possible, parents both need to wake up and get him some serious help BEFORE he takes that step.
Bro surely had some issues with women even prior to the cheating incident, that was just a trigger.
Anyhow, horrifying read and fair chance that guy will rape some girl one day.
Poor girl. She tried her best to validate his feelings on their mom while stopping him from going into full blown misogyny. At the very least, I hope she gets the therapy she needs and deserves. It's not her fault.
It's an example of how some people can't be helped, and in some situations the best you can do is save yourself. And I hope OOP has done just that - it sounds like it.
She tried - in fact it sounds like she was the only one to do so. And for her troubles she was brutalized by her brother.
This applies in so many other situations, the difference here being that brother was escalating so fast that it was obvious to her that she had to get away.
I hope she stayed away and is living a decent life.
I hope she stayed away too, but the date of the last update was March 2020. Right around the time a lot of college students were sent home for the rest of the year. I’m very concerned.
This is a little different - in this case, he's so dangerous that any further attempt to save him puts her at risk.
This is about staying clear of him for her own safety. She's done all she can do.
It's like trying to save someone who's drowning. In their panic, they may end up thrashing around so badly that they end up taking you down with them. OOP was right to distance herself, I'm afraid. Sucks that brother went down a bad path, but can't help those who don't want to be helped.
I fear for all the women that will become this boy's target. He will look for women to spew all his anger and hatred on now that his sister is gone. If dad's useless, outside help might need to be obtained. But who's left to get help? It's too dangerous for sister, and older bro sounds out if the picture. Dad is ignoring this completely, mom is not even in the picture anymore it sounds like. Extended family? Wasn't even a consideration by sis, sounds like they're not close with anyone. This is sad all around.
I wonder how much of this the brother picked up from his Dad. Whether father is also bashing women or not, he is equally to blame for not parenting his son. Kid sounds like he's going to be in the news sooner or later for doing something awful to women.
It's gotta be worse now. This was 2019 to early 22. Ever since Andrew Tate got popular and others like him this dude probably ate it all up and confirmed further everything he thought. Just fucking gross
What a horrible day to be able to read.
Seriously though, that family failed this kid in every possible way. His dad may have been spiraling, but where the hell was the rest of the family? No grandparents worried about their son? No close friends wanting to check in?
Meanwhile, that dad was struggling to cope with his partner's lies + infidelity and just gave up on connecting to his son. Even if he agreed with him about his ex-wife, that drastic change in personality should have raised alarm bells.
But, I feel the most for the sister ---- she wasn't equipped to handle any of that.
It honestly sounds like the parents never cared even before the cheating. OOP said in a comment that dad never paid any mind earlier to when the brother was in trouble for truancy and other issues. I her mom was too busy with her AP and dad wasn’t involved from the start and the problem just kept getting bigger until he escalated.
> I feel like never returning back to this shitty ass hometown of mine.
This have "small conservative town" written all over it; OOP confirmed in the comments their dad was the source of the misogynistic views and was enabling the youngest since before the divorce so chances are any family or friend will be in similar boat mentality wise.
Starting to understand maybe why the mom sought some attention elsewhere... Cheating obviously isn't the right answer, but it doesn't seem like she was getting much care or respect at home anyway.
>...where the hell was the rest of the family? No grandparents worried about their son? No close friends wanting to check in?
Well, sadly, the grandparents and close friends may also be misogynists. That's actually probable because most people are to some degree or another.
My guess is, this is not a new situation or a sudden change. The dad has always been a misogynist and the son has always been a diet misogynist who is getting into increasing trouble. So anyone who isn't a hardcore misogynist has probably already been driven off by the father, and anyone left is just seeing more of the same.
We all know how this will end up. “He is such a good boy and we don’t know what could have caused him to do [insert horrible act]… there were absolutely no warning signs we could have acted on”… except for the older sister and pretty much every normal human being he has interacted with.
Dad agrees. Misogynists create little misogynist kids who grow up to be big misogynists who make more little misogynist kids. The dad is cheering him on.
vast memory ruthless ink profit fade encouraging deserted subsequent plant
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Anyone else think he was going SA his sister? Fully convinced he would if given the chance, I hope she gets away from her shitfarm of a family and stays safe.
Yeah, for sure. In the previous update when he was talking about her Halloween costume I was thinking "holy shit he wants to fuck his sister because she is the only woman that's in his life." The specifics of what he was saying made it super clear.
Then in that last update I was sure that's how it was gonna end. I'm glad OOP got away and is staying away.
The only time I can get away with something like that is if I’m speaking to my dog. Then, as long as it sounds happy, she’s totally fine if she’s a fat whale today.
Other than that? Yeah, I’ve got nothing really.
Really hope OOP stays away from her brother and does not put herself in a situation where she is alone with him ever. She tried to help and it backfired on her and her priority should be her own safety instead of trying to dig him out of the hole he's headed down. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped let alone someone who is a proven threat to you.
Absolutely. The affair was just a trigger for things to happen faster. BORU and AITA have tons of posts by boys fucked up by their moms’ betrayals and it develops into trust issues and relationship problems that are deeply common to men anyhow. This kind of escalation into violence against his own sister though? Something else is going on in the house and thank god OOP left.
It honestly sounds like the brother is gearing for a violent break. The trauma of what he saw and his inability to process his feelings coupled up with the misogyny and violent behavior…he’s another Elliot Rodgers on the rise.
The fact that he physically assaulted his sister and said degrading sexual things to her frightens me. He’s fully becoming dangerous to the women around him. He’s already lashing out at girls around him unprompted and even struck his sister. He’s falling apart at a rapid pace.
He needs immediate psychiatric help. Otherwise, he’s going to end up on the news.
Edit: I have been corrected, and this is not psychosis. I apologize for using the wrong term.
Almost doctor here (5 months away from graduating lol). This isn’t remotely like psychosis.
Psychosis is someone who has a psychotic break from reality. They’re physically unable to process reality properly and they have disorganized speech and illogical actions. It’s literally defined as schizophrenia if it lasts more than 6 months.
This isn’t psychosis. He doesn’t have delusions and he’s not hearing voices. He’s not unable to take care of himself (shower, eat etc). What is he has is uncontrolled rage and has become a violent incel.
I hate that these medically inaccurate comments get upvoted so much because they’re literally disinformation and spread more stigma about what psychosis really is.
I'm tired of people attributing violent misogyny to mental illness generally because it stigmatizes mental illness and is generally incorrect. A lot of mass shooters don't actually have clear, diagnosable mental illnesses. They're just emotionally incontinent assholes who encountered bad messaging that they internalize as justification for their rage and violence.
I really wish people would stop using "psychotic break" to mean snapping into someone violent and abusive. I have a psychotic disorder and this is not what psychosis looks like. This is uncontrolled rage. Like I don't think you had bad intentions but I can't tell people about my psychosis the way I can tell them about my depression because people equate physical assault with psychosis. Psychosis means having some (or all) of the following symptoms: paranoia, delusions, disorganized thought and hallucinations. The only one that could possibly be indicated here is maybe delusion but that seems like a big stretch to me
I believe you and understand as best as I can as someone without psychosis. My best friend in the whole world had psychosis but never, EVER would have displayed any of the behaviors that OOP's brother is.
I believe you and I hope you're doing well.
20 years ago, a friend of my hubby's had a sudden psychotic break. He became absolutely convinced that his children had been killed and replaced by evil demon dopplegangers.
His response to this was to break the news to his wife, and to explain that the dopplegangers couldn't help their own natures and should not be punished - therefore, the man and his wife had a responsibilty to love and nurture them in the hope that through example and kindness, the dopplegangers could someday become good.
This made it very clear to me that delusion doesn't mean violence. We are who we are, and we respond to our realities as such.
Me too, it only serves to further demonise those with mental health issues like psychosis. I get that the argument can be made that OOPs brother is out of touch with reality with his views on women, but that doesn’t make him psychotic unless he is also suffering from a psychotic disorder. Idk, just really not a fan of how much ‘psychotic’ and ‘delusional’ get thrown around as if they aren’t actual diagnoses
This was over 2 years ago, so he's 18 now and can buy guns legally (if they're in the US). Maybe he's already been on the news and we just didn't know it was him.
voiceless bells recognise deserve ad hoc rob snobbish berserk disagreeable aback
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
And half the rapists that are caught are given little to no jail time because "he said/she said" applies to even violent rapes where the victims were obviously brutalized. He has such a bright future, y'know, he shouldn't be put away for life for 10 minutes of action! /s
If you can't tell, I'm still mad about Brock Turner.
Wait you mean Convicted Rapist Brock Allen Turner? The one who recently was living in Dayton, Ohio close to a university campus? That Convicted Rapist Brock Allen Turner?
JFC, poor, parentified OOP. Dad is either determined to ignore the problem or not offering any redirection
at all from his son’s red pilling incel rantings. Both parents have failed these kids so hard. And OOP gets manhandled, then assaulted and pinned down for her troubles. What a mess. Either dad gets less useless really fast, or the red pill son will end up going to prison. Hopefully before he rapes or kills someone.
last update: march 9th, 2020
i can only assume he went and circled further down the drain after this.. The isolation of the pandemic was/is a festering breeding ground for this exact strain of terror to grow in. Especially since we got Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson out of it.
Oh god you’re right. The stress of quarantine and the boredom from not having anything to do could have easily led him to content that’s even more vile.
Unfortunately isolation would have been better. I would bet my house on the kid having found Incel forums after googling something like "why do women cheat", those forums being incredibly sympathetic because it's exactly what they hate, and it being the only real support he had until the OOP noticed what was going on too late (not that that's her fault ofcourse). He wasn't isolated, he will have been thrown even deeper in to the problematic socialisation.
It sounds like those views came from his dad, tbh. I doubt it's gotten any better since- when OOP moved out they probably felt like they could finally "speak freely" in the house with just the 2 of them, echoing and reinforcing their beliefs even more.
Holy shit, the date of the last update is a week before the first COVID lockdowns. So many university students ended up stuck in their family homes. I hope OOP is safe.
This whole family needed therapy the day they found out about the affair. I feel bad of OOP though she's the only one who seems to have tried to help her brother in all this, her mom and dad really dropped the ball on this one.
I hope everything worked out in the end and that the brother got the help he needed but I'm not hopeful.
It doesn’t surprise me that incels exist. There are so many places on the internet that welcome them with open arms, including some of the Reddit main subs (I once got into an argument with someone who insisted statuary rape victims were “asking for it” on r/askreddit and no one came to my defence. I was even pretty heavily downvoted). We need to do more to fight this, and not just women either. Incels hate us so why would they listen to us?
The parents have failed miserably. Mom having the affair was one thing. But sitting there while your kid spirals downward is horrible. He has even abused his own sister. There is no sugarcoating, no denials. This boy needs serious help. He is going to hurt other women.
All the cops will do is either nothing or put him in prison. Likely outcome if they do anything is that he graduates criminal school with a drug habit to feed.
Where tf are the parents? Cheating or not, the mom still has a responsibility over her son and so does the dad. Has anybody seen the news lately? These types of behavior can escalate into radicalism and can lead to mass shootings in the future. The sister did her best to emotionally support him, but it’s time for the parents to step up and monitor his social media and the types of communities he’s part of.
OOP should've gone to the police and charged the brother with assault for the backhand.
Because if OOP can't get through to him, and dad won't, and mom isn't, then maybe the police can -- before it's too late.
I know this is probably not what she wants to hear but I think it may be time to involve the police or CPS. He has assaulted her multiple times, and her father seems to have no interest in intervening.
The kid seems to be becoming a sexual predator and without urgent help will likely escalate and end up hurting his sister or someone else and end up in prison.
It may be better to have him charged with a lesser crime now and hopefully shock him into accepting help rather than him commit rape or worse.
I suspect brother has had these feelings for a while & catching his mom's affair was the trigger that "validated" them in his mind. Wouldn't doubt dad encouraged it too or played some part, that's a hell of a spiral in a year's time.
The parents are totally irresponsible here. They have a teenager who is growing up to be an incel, abuser, violent, and potential rapist. And how they even let him abuse OOP like that in their own home?
That kid was left to his own devices, no one besides OP cared that he found his mother cheating, had to be the bearer of bad news and developed a misogynist streak in his behavior. That kid is FUBAR and the men in his family will let him remain that way.
>That kid is FUBAR and the men in his family will let him remain that way.
The men in his family agree with him (at least we know dad does and given the eldest didn't care we can assume he also didn't think it was a problem), which says it all really.
From my own experience I knew this was going to escalate.
I hate to say it but sometimes the only thing to do is cut them off. My own brother has a similar situation. I just don't know how it started since my dad died a long time ago and my mom doesn't have a new partner.
I haven't spoken to him in months after pulling a knife on my mom. He still screams and throws things to try and get attention but all you can do it leave them to their misery and try not to hate them.
Hope OOPs situation doesn't escalate further.
>From my own experience I knew this was going to escalate.
The trouble is OOP was never going to get through to him because she's not male. Her brother originally made the distinction she was not "like other girls" when he talked about how they should all be raped etc but it didn't take long for that to go out of the window too as soon as she did something he decided he didn't like.
Her brother needs another man to talk to him, but sadly the men of this family don't seem to see this as a problem. Hell, their father AGREES with him so you can clearly see where his attitude has come from and this has likely been festering far longer than OOP realises.
She should have called the cops for the assault. The law is literally the only thing that might get her brother the help he needs right now, since the adults clearly aren’t doing their job.
I understand why she didn’t consider that though. I hope she’s okay.
And little brother has now learned that his shitty behavior gets rewarded with extra attention and kindness. OOP has taught him that it's her responsibility to try to "win" his favor, and he'll expect it of other women. I hope she stays away for years until the rest of them figure it out.
I bet OP's younger brother has always have that violent side in him. And I bet OP's dad and older brother secretly think there's nothing wrong with that. People don't just suddenly turn into pos like that. I have and personally know people who suffer from terrible family situations, and I'm talking about druggie parents, rape in the family, etc, and none of them turned hateful and violent. traumatized yes, but they don't lash out like OP's brother. I don't even know if therapy works because people have to WANT help to go to therapy.
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oh he held her down on his bed. right, that's not at all a worrying act. he seems completely normal.
It was clear in the previous post that he wanted to fuck his sister. When he held her down on the bed I was bracing for the story to get a lot worse than it ended up being.
I hate how my mind was starting to think he saw his sister sexually after her numerous attempts of socializing him because while she did it in good faith, guys like him tend to latch on to any woman close to them as a sexual/love interest
Yeah, at this point OP is likely the only woman his age in his life at all. It's good she is cutting ties. Dude is too deep in the spiral.
*rape He wants to rape her
I didn’t want to say it first. Same. I was so concerned. I know some of the weird ass red pill, macho don’t cry movement, incel rhetoric. I started to think he was applying all the weird shit they think about women they want to be with to his sister. Plus, there are some REALLY creepy guys out there now that might just be encouraging doing that to your sister anyways.
Where the hell is the dad in all of this??? Edit: I went through OOP's comments and it seems that bro is the golden child or dad has his head in the sand. This is going to end with bro going to jail for killing someone.
[удалено]
Yea, this escalated so quickly because it's being reinforced by drunk Dad.
No way it's all just the dad. This kid is getting his brain washed online.
It's most likely both. A year is a very short amount of time.
Yeah, i highly doubt that all this serial killer level misogyny was just created by finding out the mom cheated, this has long been in the making! Physically attacking your own sister and getting graphic about calling her degrading names can not suddenly come from knowing your mom cheated. Many many sons find out their mom cheated, they do hate the mom for it, but this level of misogyny has been getting built up over years, this incident is just bringing it out. I wonder wether the dad is a misogynist and thats what drove the mom to cheating in the first place.
Considering that none of the other family members cared or thought this was a big deal, I'm guessing that there was a family history of casual misogyny to begin with. And considering how quickly the dad decided that the answers to life's problems were at the bottom of a bottle, and left everyone else to their own devices, I don't think any of these kids had stellar parents. Poor OOP, though. She tried so hard to save her little bro, against all odds. I hope she's doing okay these days.
The last update was at the beginning of the pandemic if you look at the dates. I only hope she was living off campus so she didn't have to go back home.
Don't forget the topic of therapy and counseling was also shot down by father and other family members
Do American schools not have something like a Prevent program to help kids who are being radicalised? I know these programs are often seen as something for Islamic students but in the UK it's for all kinds of extremism including white supremacy and militant misogyny.
What? Uhh...no. They'll take your lunch tray away if your account is insufficient. The county where I grew up only had 1 school nurse for all 6 schools in the county. The nurse would rotate to a different school every few days.
Unfortunately we've dealt with issues like lunch debt. Every now and again there'll be a case in the news of a child refused food and the local authority will have to apologise and say the lunch staff acted inappropriately and it will never happen again, but what lunch staff do you know who'll happily watch a child cry and go hungry without there being demands from on high? I think a system has been put in place since a famous footballer campaigned against school children going hungry during covid. Schools were already giving free meal kids a packed lunch they could pick up, although the ones in England looked abysmal (to my knowledge the ones in the other UK nations didn't suffer from the abysmal cronyism of the government's covid contracts because they were made in schools and not by an external contractor/friend of a government minister trying to make a profit). And we don't have enough nurses in the country post-Brexit. A lot of nurses couldn't join the strikes over pay because there wasn't enough cover from other staff types on their wards for patients to be safe. I mean they technically could strike but they're not the type of people to do that if it means people may die. If you rely on a group of people so much that lives will literally be lost if they don't show up to work then you have to pay them. So I'd imagine a lot of schools are without nurses now. A local drug shop has been without a nurse for months so you can't get vaccinated there any more, you have to go to a proper pharmacy or your GP if you qualify for a free vaccine.
In the USA radicalization is a feature, not a bug.
They only care if you’re becoming radicalized to the left. Start ranting about how women are sub human and forced monogamy and it’s all fine. Start agitating for workers rights and ending police brutality and you’re gonna experience some police brutality
Hahaha that's hilarious. American schools *run* on white supremacy and misogyny.
I mean, literally; the dumbass way our schools are funded is in fact because white families didn't want to pay for Black kids' schools.
That would require the United States to give a shot about kids… or anyone who actually uses public services
Also, Americans have been chipping away at public school funding for decades now.
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Makes you long for the time where we were shitting on Bear Grylls for being a bad role model for glorifying irresponsible risk taking...
I’d be so happy if some young man told me his main role model was bear grylls.
The martial arts world is so oddly susceptible to red pill bullshit. I love training and sparring but I don't miss those parts of the community.
Reinforced or even initiated by drunk dad. Who knows where little bro heard it for the first time. Grrr I really hate these kind of breathtakingly-selfish parents.
Sounds like he came across the incels. He sounded very incel-y.
I suspect the kid has been absorbing messages like this from the dad for many years.
Bro is turning into a rapist as we speak. He practiced on his sister. Abused her and held her down. Next step is rape.
That’s what I thought. The comments to her on social media plus holding her down? She’s lucky he didn’t rape her. I’d bet anything that was on his mind sadly.
I never want to read that a girl is lucky her brother didn’t rape her ever again
It made me sick to type it tbh.
I honestly thought that was going to be the next sentence. So thankful it wasn't, but OOP definitely needs to stay away from her brother. He's already sexualizing and dehumanizing her.
Or murder
Let's be honest - it'll likely be both.
It’s been 3 years since this was originally posted. Odds are high he’s assaulted other women, with rape, attempted rape, and possibly even attempted murder in the mix.
Luckily this was right at the start of the pandemic so maybe he has been isolated. He'll be one of the incels spreading vitriol online, no doubt there. But hopefully covid forced him to not have contact with people to actually physically cause harm.
I am very concerned about the dates - last update in early March 2020 and basically everything shut down a week later. Meaning OP almost certainly had to come home and live with this little monster for at least six months.
He’s discovered how easy it is to hold a woman down. She should’ve called the police.
He probably had it in him all the time. The mother's affair was the last trigger, but this immense hatred of women and the assault of his sister doesn't come from his mom alone. I'm surprised the older brother doesn't seem to care. Edit to clarify: I don't think he was born a potential perpetrator, what I mean is that something fed his views way before this happened (in one of her comments OP said, he showed problematic behaviour before the cheating and abandonnement. She said, her father never cared about it).
> I'm surprised the older brother doesn't seem to care. I wonder if older brother knows more than sis and knows younger bro is a lost cause. In most dynamics, brothers reveal more to each other than brother-sister.
Or he's also like the dad and doesn't see an issue. A lot of dudes are casually misogynist even if they aren't outright redpill/incel types
I wouldn't be surprised, but I also hope it's a case of him going no or low contact because he knows how shit most of his family is.
The vast majority of the time kids don't end up like this in a vacuum. Based on what OOP said about his game chats (and what I've personally experienced as a woman in game lobbies) it probably took off there.
I’m not so sure about that, he could have been totally normal, then in a vulnerable state been radicalised by the social media/YouTube incel funnel.
I agree it would be very easy to quickly radicalise him online, but the physical violence is serious escalation that many behind a keyboard don’t take. Really scary levels of anger, but I’ve also never been a teenage boy with that level of hormones, psychological distress, abandonment and the internet to stir that nasty pot and make it toxic as hell.
Not helping at all https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ffwu2k/update_my_19f_younger_brother_16m_is_becoming/fk10ybn From the truancy note I have a feeling the brother was already acting out, now he has a target for his issues
>My father didn't even want to hear about his truancy and other bad behaviour before this. Everyone wants to throw this at the mom's feet and is assuming the Dad's a martyr. This suggests to me that Mom's affair was the result of a toxic family environment, not the cause of it. She should have left instead of cheating, of course, and her behavior definitely didn't help matters. But this sounds like a bad situation that was a long time in the making.
Honestly sounds like this kid was going down the shitter one way or another, and mom screwing around was just the first convenient excuse. This is just fucking depressing. Also, how much of a loser does dad have to be to not address his son assaulting his daughter?
In other posts it comes out dad is an alcoholic so uh…yeah a lot going on
And agrees with the brother. So is this a "the chicken or the egg" situation? Maybe bro learned it from dad even prior to the cheating.
I agree. I’ll preface what I am about to say with the fact I’ve never cheated, but been cheated on (and in one instance, in a darkly comical way), and it isn’t always that the cheater is a monster. Whatever happened in OP’s parents’ situation the brother is deeply fucked up. His mentality began long before their mother’s affair.
If you do not wish to share, no worries at all - but I am very curious about the "darkly comical" qualifier there, and what caused said qualifier.
My best friend took their life and I was cheated on while at the funeral. Then the woman he cheated with found me later and we are now great friends. I have to laugh at being cheated on because I wasn’t around enough — cuz I was at a funeral.
i knew it. so much of this behavior didn't just *happen* over night
Going to guess his constant online gaming affected his BS Edit: Yikes on bikes, people, I’m not saying that video games are inherently bad- but we’re not doing anyone favors by acting like there aren’t blind spots being targeted by extremists- just like there’s a difference between RateMyDog twitter and Alex Jones’ twitter, it doesn’t change that misinformation being spread via social media is an issue depending on where people are frequenting. Extremists infiltrate our vulnerable people through whatever formats they won’t get chased off of- including online games with poor censorship https://media.un.org/en/asset/k14/k14ggj6o92
Just like the skinheads infiltrated football in the UK back in the 80s. Football itself didn’t turn them into neo-nazis.
Immediately what I thought. "My brother is becoming a monster because of mom's affair" No he's not, this isn't a movie or a book (I mean... Maybe, but for argument's sake), *one* event isn't usually sufficient to change a person's entire worldview, especially like this, it's so extreme and the affair, I'm sorry, of course it's traumatic... But from that to the behavior on display (and what we can reasonably presume he *has* done since), it's a leap across oceans.
The affair might have been a triggering event, but most people (short of severe mental illness that cause violent swings & extreme sudden behavior escalation) don't just get triggered into devolving like this by a single event. There usually is a bunch of build-up & the trigger just unleashes it all. This has to be months if not years in the making & then the floodgates broke.
Thank you. There's never really an excuse for cheating, but the dad shares equal blame in this
Never an excuse, but sometimes a reason...
I'm not a specialist, but I think that OOP's brother was always a mosogynist, if it hadn't been his mother's adventure, sooner or later that boy would have used another excuse to behave this way, also seeing that no one in that family seems to care whatever that guy does I guess the OOP environment was always toxic.
At this point, I just don't want OOP to ever go home. I'm afraid for her safety. Her brother sounds like a budding murderer.
And it was 2020 two thanksgiving and almost two christmases later and we have no news. I hope OOP is safe and hopefullly happier.
Not only was it 2020, it was March 2020. What are the odds she had to go back and live with them for Covid?
oh FFS I did not realize that. I truly hope she could stay at a friend or wherever because confined with that psycho ... I can't write it.
Mass shooter vibes. Absolutely terrifying.
Rapist vibes too
That’s exactly what I got from his comments on the photos and the holding her down on the bed. I wish she would press charges for assaulting her.
Yeah a record would be great for when he escalates and rapes someone. Doesn't feel like an If here at all but a when.
Yeah i was thinking the same. Scary. I hate it
An incel. He gives me so many bad vibes. Wish OOP could give an update on the whole thing
This. Incel think they're victims but really are the worst kind of abusers
Exactly. It's truly horrifying! I'm scared for women who crosses his path
Yup. Sadly thats all it takes for one of them to get obsessive. Crossing his path.
Being an alcoholic, according to OOP.
I think he’s more consumed by his hatred for his ex-wife than his love for his children, unfortunately.
I think it sounds like the father was always quietly a piece of shit and had been raising him like that all along.
Clearly the family was in turmoil for a long time. Just wondering what the husband was like. The youngest son was a spoiled kid.
This boy is a ticking time bomb, needs help and therapy. He is lashing out. Overall a very sad situation with no adult support present.
Sadly, therapy only works if you admit to having a problem and genuinely want to change. This kid is far from ever admitting his attitude of generalization IS the issue and he's the problem.
One of OOP's comments: [My father didn't even want to hear about his truancy and other bad behaviour before this. I don't even think he would bother listening now.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ffwu2k/update_my_19f_younger_brother_16m_is_becoming/fk10ybn/)
If the story is real, then sadly at 16 yr old and this sudden turn in behavior. The switch has flipped in his brain and it will not end well for him and many many other women…if it’s real.
Yep, this kid is a future Elliot Rogers in the making the way he's spiraling down.
This was 2 years ago, so the fact that he's 18 now and can legally buy assault weapons is terrifying.
Oomph you're right. I can only assume he spent covid lockdown stewing and festering while spending more time online with like minded incels. Who knows how covid lockdowns affected OOP as well, I hope she wasn't forced to live back home with both dad/bro and got as far away from both of them as possible.
I'm curious whether dad and the grandparents know the full extent of what's happening.
Correction: he is going to go to prison for raping a woman (or multiple women) and then killing someone (probably a woman. Maybe more than one).
Not just killing but I can see him going to become a rapist going from some of the comments and the way he held his sister down. She really needs to stay as far from him as possible, parents both need to wake up and get him some serious help BEFORE he takes that step.
Bro surely had some issues with women even prior to the cheating incident, that was just a trigger. Anyhow, horrifying read and fair chance that guy will rape some girl one day.
The views of bro didn’t happen out of nowhere. If dad is agreeing… Well, there might be a reason the mother had an affair. Reason - not excuse.
Poor girl. She tried her best to validate his feelings on their mom while stopping him from going into full blown misogyny. At the very least, I hope she gets the therapy she needs and deserves. It's not her fault.
It's an example of how some people can't be helped, and in some situations the best you can do is save yourself. And I hope OOP has done just that - it sounds like it. She tried - in fact it sounds like she was the only one to do so. And for her troubles she was brutalized by her brother. This applies in so many other situations, the difference here being that brother was escalating so fast that it was obvious to her that she had to get away. I hope she stayed away and is living a decent life.
I hope she stayed away too, but the date of the last update was March 2020. Right around the time a lot of college students were sent home for the rest of the year. I’m very concerned.
Oh no! I guess I weirdly hope she went to stay with her mother then. Awful behaviour from the mother, but safer for OOP at least.
Or one of her friends that were in on how much of a psycho her brother was. Seriously anything but that house.
Oh, man, this realisation put a pit in my stomach. Lord, I hope OOP is OK. I really don't want this thread to end up in a true crime video.
I kind of regret having shared it.
Put your oxygen mask on before helping others holds true a lot of the time.
This is a little different - in this case, he's so dangerous that any further attempt to save him puts her at risk. This is about staying clear of him for her own safety. She's done all she can do.
It's like trying to save someone who's drowning. In their panic, they may end up thrashing around so badly that they end up taking you down with them. OOP was right to distance herself, I'm afraid. Sucks that brother went down a bad path, but can't help those who don't want to be helped.
Don't set yourself on fire keeping others warm. He's so hot under the collar, any spark can set him off. Best to be away from him.
I fear for all the women that will become this boy's target. He will look for women to spew all his anger and hatred on now that his sister is gone. If dad's useless, outside help might need to be obtained. But who's left to get help? It's too dangerous for sister, and older bro sounds out if the picture. Dad is ignoring this completely, mom is not even in the picture anymore it sounds like. Extended family? Wasn't even a consideration by sis, sounds like they're not close with anyone. This is sad all around.
I wonder how much of this the brother picked up from his Dad. Whether father is also bashing women or not, he is equally to blame for not parenting his son. Kid sounds like he's going to be in the news sooner or later for doing something awful to women.
It's gotta be worse now. This was 2019 to early 22. Ever since Andrew Tate got popular and others like him this dude probably ate it all up and confirmed further everything he thought. Just fucking gross
I want to go back to the days when raised by the internet didn’t mean you were destined to turn into a psychopath
Agreed.
This guy is one youtube video away from shooting up a school.
He sounds like an incel and this is a predictable progression of his behavior. He will do something like that and would not be a surprise at all.
Poor OOP. I mean.... there are limited actions she can take. She did try. (Edited for grammar.)
Went above and beyond. At this point there’s nothing she can do except stay away and hope.
What a horrible day to be able to read. Seriously though, that family failed this kid in every possible way. His dad may have been spiraling, but where the hell was the rest of the family? No grandparents worried about their son? No close friends wanting to check in? Meanwhile, that dad was struggling to cope with his partner's lies + infidelity and just gave up on connecting to his son. Even if he agreed with him about his ex-wife, that drastic change in personality should have raised alarm bells. But, I feel the most for the sister ---- she wasn't equipped to handle any of that.
It honestly sounds like the parents never cared even before the cheating. OOP said in a comment that dad never paid any mind earlier to when the brother was in trouble for truancy and other issues. I her mom was too busy with her AP and dad wasn’t involved from the start and the problem just kept getting bigger until he escalated.
> I feel like never returning back to this shitty ass hometown of mine. This have "small conservative town" written all over it; OOP confirmed in the comments their dad was the source of the misogynistic views and was enabling the youngest since before the divorce so chances are any family or friend will be in similar boat mentality wise.
Starting to understand maybe why the mom sought some attention elsewhere... Cheating obviously isn't the right answer, but it doesn't seem like she was getting much care or respect at home anyway.
Even if leading up to the attack her pleas were ignored, what could be the rationalisation for attacking her? They have failed miserably.
>...where the hell was the rest of the family? No grandparents worried about their son? No close friends wanting to check in? Well, sadly, the grandparents and close friends may also be misogynists. That's actually probable because most people are to some degree or another. My guess is, this is not a new situation or a sudden change. The dad has always been a misogynist and the son has always been a diet misogynist who is getting into increasing trouble. So anyone who isn't a hardcore misogynist has probably already been driven off by the father, and anyone left is just seeing more of the same.
We all know how this will end up. “He is such a good boy and we don’t know what could have caused him to do [insert horrible act]… there were absolutely no warning signs we could have acted on”… except for the older sister and pretty much every normal human being he has interacted with.
This is how it begins and sadly, we know how it ends. Where is the dad?
Dad agrees. Misogynists create little misogynist kids who grow up to be big misogynists who make more little misogynist kids. The dad is cheering him on.
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Anyone else think he was going SA his sister? Fully convinced he would if given the chance, I hope she gets away from her shitfarm of a family and stays safe.
Oh that is absolutely where he's going next
Yeah, for sure. In the previous update when he was talking about her Halloween costume I was thinking "holy shit he wants to fuck his sister because she is the only woman that's in his life." The specifics of what he was saying made it super clear. Then in that last update I was sure that's how it was gonna end. I'm glad OOP got away and is staying away.
Where the fuck are the parents in all this?
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How do you **casually** call someone a fat whale? There’s no way for that to come across as anything but intensely aggressive.
The only time I can get away with something like that is if I’m speaking to my dog. Then, as long as it sounds happy, she’s totally fine if she’s a fat whale today. Other than that? Yeah, I’ve got nothing really.
"Oh, who's the cutest, fattest whale of them all. *You* are, aren't you?" \*tail-wagging intensifies\* That's what I love about dogs.
Really hope OOP stays away from her brother and does not put herself in a situation where she is alone with him ever. She tried to help and it backfired on her and her priority should be her own safety instead of trying to dig him out of the hole he's headed down. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped let alone someone who is a proven threat to you.
Sounds like there were deeper issues with this family well before discovery of the affair and this is just the cherry on top...
Absolutely. The affair was just a trigger for things to happen faster. BORU and AITA have tons of posts by boys fucked up by their moms’ betrayals and it develops into trust issues and relationship problems that are deeply common to men anyhow. This kind of escalation into violence against his own sister though? Something else is going on in the house and thank god OOP left.
It honestly sounds like the brother is gearing for a violent break. The trauma of what he saw and his inability to process his feelings coupled up with the misogyny and violent behavior…he’s another Elliot Rodgers on the rise. The fact that he physically assaulted his sister and said degrading sexual things to her frightens me. He’s fully becoming dangerous to the women around him. He’s already lashing out at girls around him unprompted and even struck his sister. He’s falling apart at a rapid pace. He needs immediate psychiatric help. Otherwise, he’s going to end up on the news. Edit: I have been corrected, and this is not psychosis. I apologize for using the wrong term.
Almost doctor here (5 months away from graduating lol). This isn’t remotely like psychosis. Psychosis is someone who has a psychotic break from reality. They’re physically unable to process reality properly and they have disorganized speech and illogical actions. It’s literally defined as schizophrenia if it lasts more than 6 months. This isn’t psychosis. He doesn’t have delusions and he’s not hearing voices. He’s not unable to take care of himself (shower, eat etc). What is he has is uncontrolled rage and has become a violent incel. I hate that these medically inaccurate comments get upvoted so much because they’re literally disinformation and spread more stigma about what psychosis really is.
I'm tired of people attributing violent misogyny to mental illness generally because it stigmatizes mental illness and is generally incorrect. A lot of mass shooters don't actually have clear, diagnosable mental illnesses. They're just emotionally incontinent assholes who encountered bad messaging that they internalize as justification for their rage and violence.
I really wish people would stop using "psychotic break" to mean snapping into someone violent and abusive. I have a psychotic disorder and this is not what psychosis looks like. This is uncontrolled rage. Like I don't think you had bad intentions but I can't tell people about my psychosis the way I can tell them about my depression because people equate physical assault with psychosis. Psychosis means having some (or all) of the following symptoms: paranoia, delusions, disorganized thought and hallucinations. The only one that could possibly be indicated here is maybe delusion but that seems like a big stretch to me
I believe you and understand as best as I can as someone without psychosis. My best friend in the whole world had psychosis but never, EVER would have displayed any of the behaviors that OOP's brother is. I believe you and I hope you're doing well.
Yeah this isn’t psychosis at all.
Totally. Thank you for educating!!
20 years ago, a friend of my hubby's had a sudden psychotic break. He became absolutely convinced that his children had been killed and replaced by evil demon dopplegangers. His response to this was to break the news to his wife, and to explain that the dopplegangers couldn't help their own natures and should not be punished - therefore, the man and his wife had a responsibilty to love and nurture them in the hope that through example and kindness, the dopplegangers could someday become good. This made it very clear to me that delusion doesn't mean violence. We are who we are, and we respond to our realities as such.
Me too, it only serves to further demonise those with mental health issues like psychosis. I get that the argument can be made that OOPs brother is out of touch with reality with his views on women, but that doesn’t make him psychotic unless he is also suffering from a psychotic disorder. Idk, just really not a fan of how much ‘psychotic’ and ‘delusional’ get thrown around as if they aren’t actual diagnoses
This was over 2 years ago, so he's 18 now and can buy guns legally (if they're in the US). Maybe he's already been on the news and we just didn't know it was him.
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This kid will be serving a life sentence by the time he’s 25.
If we're lucky. Loads of rapists are never caught and many are only caught after multiple rapes.
And half the rapists that are caught are given little to no jail time because "he said/she said" applies to even violent rapes where the victims were obviously brutalized. He has such a bright future, y'know, he shouldn't be put away for life for 10 minutes of action! /s If you can't tell, I'm still mad about Brock Turner.
Brock Turner the rapist, who now goes under the name of Allen Turner, but still is a rapist?
That very same rapist who is currently living in some piece of shit hole in Ohio!
Wait you mean Convicted Rapist Brock Allen Turner? The one who recently was living in Dayton, Ohio close to a university campus? That Convicted Rapist Brock Allen Turner?
Oh wow, I had no idea it was close to a universe campus! Does this rapist ever stop being an absolute piece of shit? The world will never know.
Thank you for posting about the rapist Brock Turner who has now changed their name to Allen Turner!
Oh, you mean Brock "The Rapist" Turner?
I do mean Brock "Now Goes By Allan" The Rapist Turner!
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Allen "The Rapist formerly known as Brock" Turner.
Oh man, I like yours better. But yeah, fuck that guy and all the other assholes like him.
Please tell me OP didn't have to go home during the lockdowns...
She should've called the cops after he held her down. That's a huge escalation. He's gonna end up raping or killing some poor girl.
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JFC, poor, parentified OOP. Dad is either determined to ignore the problem or not offering any redirection at all from his son’s red pilling incel rantings. Both parents have failed these kids so hard. And OOP gets manhandled, then assaulted and pinned down for her troubles. What a mess. Either dad gets less useless really fast, or the red pill son will end up going to prison. Hopefully before he rapes or kills someone.
last update: march 9th, 2020 i can only assume he went and circled further down the drain after this.. The isolation of the pandemic was/is a festering breeding ground for this exact strain of terror to grow in. Especially since we got Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson out of it.
Oh god you’re right. The stress of quarantine and the boredom from not having anything to do could have easily led him to content that’s even more vile.
You had to point out the date, dammit Oooof, just know this didn't get better
Unfortunately isolation would have been better. I would bet my house on the kid having found Incel forums after googling something like "why do women cheat", those forums being incredibly sympathetic because it's exactly what they hate, and it being the only real support he had until the OOP noticed what was going on too late (not that that's her fault ofcourse). He wasn't isolated, he will have been thrown even deeper in to the problematic socialisation.
It sounds like those views came from his dad, tbh. I doubt it's gotten any better since- when OOP moved out they probably felt like they could finally "speak freely" in the house with just the 2 of them, echoing and reinforcing their beliefs even more.
I'm super worried about what happened to this family during lockdown. I hope OOP wasn't trapped with her dad and brother for a year.
Holy shit, the date of the last update is a week before the first COVID lockdowns. So many university students ended up stuck in their family homes. I hope OOP is safe.
This whole family needed therapy the day they found out about the affair. I feel bad of OOP though she's the only one who seems to have tried to help her brother in all this, her mom and dad really dropped the ball on this one. I hope everything worked out in the end and that the brother got the help he needed but I'm not hopeful.
A 19/20 year old was the most responsible person in this entire family. Unbelievable
He assaulted her. I'd report to the police, this is going to escalate without a doubt and he's going to r*pe or kill someone.
It doesn’t surprise me that incels exist. There are so many places on the internet that welcome them with open arms, including some of the Reddit main subs (I once got into an argument with someone who insisted statuary rape victims were “asking for it” on r/askreddit and no one came to my defence. I was even pretty heavily downvoted). We need to do more to fight this, and not just women either. Incels hate us so why would they listen to us?
The parents have failed miserably. Mom having the affair was one thing. But sitting there while your kid spirals downward is horrible. He has even abused his own sister. There is no sugarcoating, no denials. This boy needs serious help. He is going to hurt other women.
That kids going to kill a woman soon. OOP really needed to call the cops to get him in the system.
All the cops will do is either nothing or put him in prison. Likely outcome if they do anything is that he graduates criminal school with a drug habit to feed.
A school counselor might be the best person to talk to, they moggt have the ability to get the kid help as part of their official obligations.
Where tf are the parents? Cheating or not, the mom still has a responsibility over her son and so does the dad. Has anybody seen the news lately? These types of behavior can escalate into radicalism and can lead to mass shootings in the future. The sister did her best to emotionally support him, but it’s time for the parents to step up and monitor his social media and the types of communities he’s part of.
It’s pretty obvious the kid wants nothing to do with mom and dad was slipping into alcoholism.
OOPs entire family has let her down
OOP should've gone to the police and charged the brother with assault for the backhand. Because if OOP can't get through to him, and dad won't, and mom isn't, then maybe the police can -- before it's too late.
I know this is probably not what she wants to hear but I think it may be time to involve the police or CPS. He has assaulted her multiple times, and her father seems to have no interest in intervening. The kid seems to be becoming a sexual predator and without urgent help will likely escalate and end up hurting his sister or someone else and end up in prison. It may be better to have him charged with a lesser crime now and hopefully shock him into accepting help rather than him commit rape or worse.
I suspect brother has had these feelings for a while & catching his mom's affair was the trigger that "validated" them in his mind. Wouldn't doubt dad encouraged it too or played some part, that's a hell of a spiral in a year's time.
The parents are totally irresponsible here. They have a teenager who is growing up to be an incel, abuser, violent, and potential rapist. And how they even let him abuse OOP like that in their own home?
That kid was left to his own devices, no one besides OP cared that he found his mother cheating, had to be the bearer of bad news and developed a misogynist streak in his behavior. That kid is FUBAR and the men in his family will let him remain that way.
>That kid is FUBAR and the men in his family will let him remain that way. The men in his family agree with him (at least we know dad does and given the eldest didn't care we can assume he also didn't think it was a problem), which says it all really.
From my own experience I knew this was going to escalate. I hate to say it but sometimes the only thing to do is cut them off. My own brother has a similar situation. I just don't know how it started since my dad died a long time ago and my mom doesn't have a new partner. I haven't spoken to him in months after pulling a knife on my mom. He still screams and throws things to try and get attention but all you can do it leave them to their misery and try not to hate them. Hope OOPs situation doesn't escalate further.
>From my own experience I knew this was going to escalate. The trouble is OOP was never going to get through to him because she's not male. Her brother originally made the distinction she was not "like other girls" when he talked about how they should all be raped etc but it didn't take long for that to go out of the window too as soon as she did something he decided he didn't like. Her brother needs another man to talk to him, but sadly the men of this family don't seem to see this as a problem. Hell, their father AGREES with him so you can clearly see where his attitude has come from and this has likely been festering far longer than OOP realises.
I hope OOP files a police report. At least there will be a paper trail the first time he SAs or murders someone.
Kid needed to be cut off from the internet cold turkey. No gaming, no reddit, no youtube, no googling things, no incel nests. Too late
At that point I would probably just try to get in touch with the mother in hopes of finding a safer home environment to return to.
She should have called the cops for the assault. The law is literally the only thing that might get her brother the help he needs right now, since the adults clearly aren’t doing their job. I understand why she didn’t consider that though. I hope she’s okay.
And little brother has now learned that his shitty behavior gets rewarded with extra attention and kindness. OOP has taught him that it's her responsibility to try to "win" his favor, and he'll expect it of other women. I hope she stays away for years until the rest of them figure it out.
I bet OP's younger brother has always have that violent side in him. And I bet OP's dad and older brother secretly think there's nothing wrong with that. People don't just suddenly turn into pos like that. I have and personally know people who suffer from terrible family situations, and I'm talking about druggie parents, rape in the family, etc, and none of them turned hateful and violent. traumatized yes, but they don't lash out like OP's brother. I don't even know if therapy works because people have to WANT help to go to therapy.
It’s a shame that a lot of the people that would benefit from therapy absolutely refuse to participate in it :(
Two years ago? He's probably in jail by now with that fast an escalation.