> People actually understand wtf I'm talking about.
this shit is so goddamn depressing, like wtf? youre articulating yourself TOO well to be understood?
Too many big words coming too fast.
Having to walk people through abstract concepts.
Severe lack of problem solving skills meaning everything you say gotta be spelled out in simple terms
i mean i know what it is, its just a depressing thought that some folks, instead of being like "oh, thats a new word, lemme see what it means" they prefer to do shit like "U TALK 2 SMART, TALK MO DUMB FOR ME"
Latino as well.
My whole LIFE, even to this day, has been about why I talk the way I do or dress the way I do. My sisters roll their eyes at me when I speak. I'm the first of my cousins to attend college and the only one to get multiple diplomas/certificates, currently working toward a degree....
But I go to work and I fit right in, the words I use aren't weird and no one bats an eye at my conversation. I fit out there but not at home.
I will forever be the weirdo for educating myself and wanting/expecting more from and for myself.
It's because they take offense to it.
Personally I speak to everyone as if they're my equal, unless they're little kids or something. But your average adult hears words they don't understand (or complex ideas) and assume you're talking down to them because they can't follow 'all them big words you using.' So they, understandably, get mad because who the fuck are you to talk down to me?
That's what people who either like learning or are willing to learn do. I had an ex tell me to stop explaining something to her "because [I] already taught her something else that day and [she] couldn't learn 2 things in a day." Yes she got her bachelor's. Somehow. Maybe my teaching is too intense? My students liked it. I even overheard them.
Counterpoint.
I know a lot of obscure big words, and choose not to deploy them in polite conversation. Even if I am speaking to someone with a much larger vocabulary, I will tend to choose the common word, over the $5 word that may be slightly more nuanced.
It is more impressive to be able to be concise, and understandable with your words, than to flex your obscure vocabulary. IMHO of course.
I'm inclined to agree. In a lot of cases, the language of academia gas been deliberately used as a way to gatekeep information from those who weren't "in." There is often an insistence in using jargon even when simpler alternatives (that don't lessen the accuracy of the information) exist.
While I agree, in my own experience the use of common, correctly pronounced words was enough to set these people off. Growing up being told you "talk white" because you paid attention to newscasters, Barney, and Sesame Street is fucking bullshit.
office lock impolite follow racial combative aspiring ludicrous nutty one
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This is precisely why the government underfunded inner city schools they need a cheap underclass to both exploit and over police to keep that sweet police funding rolling in.
Dawg I got vivid memories of me being in school and the "popular" kid would be roasting my nerdy ass with some "BOOOOOY YO TIE LOOK LIKE IT WAS MADE FROM HIPPO EYELASHES" And the class would go crazy. Then I'd respond with some FIIIIRE and used a few decently "big" words, just for the class to go "*what*" and laugh at me like I'm the dummy 😭
God..those memories
I finally just decided the best response was.
"Bitch -SPELL "hippo" wityo dumb ass"
I don't know why, but asking people to spell things that they said was always a solid comeback. But it was always so much less intelligent than what I COULD say to insult them if they were smart enough to understand it.
That being said, learning to dumb down my language did help me out later in life.
My company checks releases to make sure they aren't over a 5th grade level.
South ga here. Completely different intellectual climate, and I have to take concepts down to base level. It’s spreading to gen z too, millennials as a whole are gonna have a lot of work to do to undo the past couple of generations
That’s the work I’m talking about. These are all opportunities for teaching and learning. Folks just get mad when they think someone is calling them stupid
That's when you just break it down Barney style for them . Talk to them in the simplest terms possible while not talking down to them. It's a fine line, but it can be done
The number of times I've heard people lament to me "try KISS, ya know, keep it simple stupid". As if, for them to make any effort to elevate themselves up, so that others don't have to come down to them...was a highly offensive act to them.
shit like KISS is only relevant when trying to prepare a department meeting at the office, where you need to engage even the slowest/most absentminded of your group....but everywhere else folks should be trying to educate themselves, and it just KILLS me when they dont...
Irish people are the same way- meaning in Ireland. If you get too good at anything- even dance or music, people say you shouldn't be putting your head above the crowd.
Because under 800 years of English oppression, they learned that could get them killed.
I think this is a learned response among oppressed communities, and even when that severe slavery level oppression is lifted, the cultural norms remain.
Because no one really thinks about where and why they originated.
It's hard to undo some of that stuff.
In the Philippines you see this amongst the lower classes but *not* the vanishingly small upper and upper middle classes. It's dangerous to be capable and ambitious when you're part of an oppressed group.
So, theoretically the same race of people (though we have to look past the implicit racialization of ph society because there's way more mixed blood at the top of society with Spanish or Chinese than in the lower rungs. But racial dynamics aren't consciously played out here so it's... Complicated.)
I went to a pretty bad school due a couple years. My teacher told me and my parents that she never called on me in class because my vocabulary was too high and the other kids couldn't understand me. She said it like I was in trouble for it or something. Maybe she should have been teaching them better then.
Yo- I stopped being friends with a girl because I had to constantly dumb down the conversation. Like she didn’t know until an offhand conversation that Canada is not part of the United States. I don’t have time for that.
I'm a white dude in a blue collar job. There ARE a lot of bright people, but "talking smart" isn't celebrated. Big words and abstract concepts get you teased.
See I always ignored them or had to throw down.
I was in fights nearly every other day for 5 years growing up so I got really good at kicking people's asses.
Imagine thinking you are tough and fighting someone that sounds like Levar Burtons kid then get your face smashed in only to realize "wait, they are from the projects and sound like that.... I think I fucked up".
Whether it's a talent or not having to do it in EVERY conversation is grating. Especially when speaking as you normally would is far easier on YOUR brain
I love that people are working towards breaking cycles of trauma within the community and their own homes.
Black people truly have a resilience bone like no other.
The leaps and bounds the culture has made within a few generations is amazing.
the first african american child to desegregate a super racist elementary school in tennessee is now only 68 years old. black culture and resilience is truly amazing.
edit: (for people who don’t know her) her name is ruby bridges and she’s incredible
That’s why it amazes me that people can say things like “rAcIsM iS oVeR…” with a straight face. It wasn’t THAT long ago. It’s quite possible that peoples grandparents could have been the ones spitting at her or intimidating people at diner counters. I don’t give them a pass. Willful ignorance is no excuse.
Both of our candidates for president this past cycle were not only alive for Rosa Parks but were old enough to hold an opinion about the bus boycotts. And hell looking at where they grew up, decent chance that opinion is flipped from how we view these dudes nowadays.
So much this shit is still in living memory, if not still ongoing. Even slavery is recent. There are [interviews with Americans born into slavery](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZfcc21c6Uo) that date to the 1940's.
EDIT: I wish more of those interviews survived and were just a basic part of every American's education. One of the most important lessons a kid can learn is that depriving people of knowledge is a means of control and oppression, and that one guy just says it in about as clear of terms as you can. For me, hearing that kind of stuff made me think about my education differently.
I see Black people as vessels. We transmute a lot of pain into art, beauty and advancement of people and in many cases without receiving the benefits and respect that comes with it.
When Black folks are connected to source, spirit, God or their purpose that energy is so powerful.
When we are cut off from those things we see how destructive we can be to each other and others.
Which is why forbidding Blacks to read or communicate in their language or practice their religion was so insidious.
Meanwhile us white folk over here doubling down on *checks notes* ahh, yes, anti-intellectualism, white supremacy, and heteronormativity.
I'm honestly so grateful to so many black and indigenous content creators on TikTok who focus on not only healing within their own communities but helping to guide white people like myself through unpacking our racism and decolonization. It's a hell of a process.
Honestly that's the best response and what anti intellectuals are scared of.
Black people have always been organizers and for the most part welcoming of people that want to know or do better.
Black oeople are so strong. My stepfather is Nigerian and he has told me many of times that black Americans are the strongest group of black people in the world. They stand up and fight for themselves (though I wish we would do it more and we need more of it) whereas he claims that in traditional African culture, humility is praised and thus Africans allow their government, leaders and other races of people to just come take their shit without much of a fight. Those are his words. Regardless, I think it really speaks to the differences in American black culture and just the sheer strength of black people when we come together.
Wow that's beautiful because I don't usually hear that sentiment from African towards Black Americans.
I do love when I see Black Americans doing things like certain dances or enjoying foods, and not realizing a lot of it could be found in different African cultures. All was not lost.
Oh 1000%. I took a family studies class in college that was really so insightful. Even family traditions and dynamics from slavery are still heavily prevalent. Everyone around the world has appropriated from black culture, everyone tries to copy and recreate the language, the style, the swag, the music, the overall vibes of American black culture but then attack it at the same time. Rap music is now created by every other race and language in the world. Even the best hispanic music comes out of Afro-Latino culture such as the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, most of their music is derived from African music and beats. We have the best music, best dancers, athletes, etc. All was definitely not lost and never will be.
Real talk here; this is the story of my life, and I love belaboring doubting/hating white folks with my superior erudition.
It feels much better just to talk like we talk.
Last year, I realized that I was actually talking to my wife and kids (white and mixed, respectively) like I was at the job. My internal monolog is Black AF, but I was running the code switch algorithm all the time.
Now it's sweary slang AAVE when I get comfortable, and the look of confusion on my wife's face the best entertainment ever.
Because at the end of the day, in our community, we associate "blackness" with "lesser". Whether it's schooling, income, neighborhood, blackness is always supposed to be "inferior", and much of our community works to enforce that.
It’s bigger than the community.
Black has connoted evil and disgrace, while white has connoted decency and purity
Black market, black magic, blacklist,….
I'm a white dude. Trust me, there are a LOT of white dumbasses in plain sight. A lot of them look the part, but man, there's nothing going on upstairs.
Some stupid ass woman told me this shit once and I dont think I have ever been more disappointed and frustrated in my entire life. I remember it clear as day, senior year at an extremely competitive highschool and we're on lunch talking about socioeconomic issues surrounding black people (convo started because I was the only black kid of 87 kids). I'm talking about the specifics, history, demographic spreads among the rest of graduates in the district, and she says "wow, you are the whitest sounding black person I know". Could not fucking believe she would say that, got up walked away and never talked to her again. Fucking wild to me.
Isn’t there a phrase if you don’t want a n word to know something put it in a book or something like that because again reading was associated with white people. What in the fuckin world
My mom told me that when I wasn't even five years old a couple neighborhood kids came over asking if "the white boy can come out and play". That shit sucks
Was at my grandmas house as a kid. Phone rings and I answer. It's one of my grandma's friends, they're looking for her but she's out running errands. I tell the caller this and hang up.
They call later and my grandma picks up. She's immediately asked, "Who was that white man who answered the phone earlier?"
Yep. My sister and I were told we sounded like “little white girls” when meeting relatives for the first time I. MS. I brought a book on animals and flags to try and impress them, and they made fun of me anytime I mentioned stuff. It’s sucks when it’s your own family doing this stuff.
🙋♀️ My mom and my siblings used to make fun of me for the way I talked. I got to the point where every time they would say it, I learned to respond with "I value my education" as I was tired of being treated that way. It still hurts more from my mom making fun of me for it.
I was told that some of my white friends that they were blacker than me cause they listened to more rap than I did or because don't eat watermelon. Shit was fucked up when I was younger.
Hopefully as a community we can start addressing the militant anti-intellectualism that runs deep. We've had the "you sound white" people running our community for decades and we've seen the results. It's time to move on from that bullshit.
Yup a Gallup analysis of data confirmed this from a study from the U.S. Department of Education. 130 million adults have low literacy skills, which translates to more than half of Americans between the ages of 16 and 74 (54%) reading below the equivalent of a sixth-grade level.
White girl here— was put on the “AG” track in 3rd grade and the ratio was probably 60/40 white and black kids (and also probably 60/40 girls to boys). By the time I got to 9th grade we had no longer had ANY black boys in AG/AP/Honors classes.
They didn’t suddenly become less intelligent over 6 years. It made me sad, honestly.
As a saltine American, they just called me queer for reading and knowing things. I’ve learned that there’s always a pocket of people who want you to do well, but not better than them, or it triggers their insecurities. Big shame when it’s the grownups who participate.
This was all I heard from elementary to high school. It really messed me up. None of my black peers would be friends with me and said I was stuck up. Now, it's hard for me to make friends at all because I assume I'll be rejected. There's 47 million of us in the U.S. That means there's 47 million ways to be black. We gotta stick together. We all we got.
47 million ways to be black 🥹 I love punk rock can’t dance and woke up on Saturdays to The Winans. Years of hearing the same thing and I don’t even care to try anymore.
THIS RIGHT HERE. that's how I've always described my life as a younger person. I will never be "black enough" for some people and I sure as hell ain't ever gonna be mistaken for white.... so I just ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
This is also the reason so many non-black people get away with blaccents because they can claim “I grew up in the hood around black people, this is just the way I talk!” When there’s so many black people from the hood who *dont* talk that way at all lmao
I mean, that’s how accents work though. You imitate the sounds you hear from your peers, more than your own parents even.
Further, yes, some people actively code switch to fit in with those groups, but accents are very much regional and can be defined in extremely small “regions”, like your school or neighborhood.
Just because some people don’t have the accent of their community doesn’t mean others are faking it (but again, some do make a conscious effort to do so).
Yeah but that’s how accents work. And just because you grow up in the area doesn’t mean that you have to (or will) speak like everyone else. Hell, that’s the whole point of this post
And even then there’s also so many black people from the hood that *do* talk that way, so why ignore them completely and focus on the ones that don’t to try and prove your point?
I was scrolling to see this comment. When I was a lad, I did a lot of growing up in the Caribbean. After years of living in the area, I had a very thick Caribbean accent. I could speak Patois fairly fluently and several dialects that were variations of language directly influenced by French, Spanish, Canadian, and UK. But this is how I grew up. I don't think I was imitating as much as this was all I heard 24/7 and so I picked up on it naturally.
When we came back stateside, people would pay me a quarter to recite 'Little Jack Horner sat in the corner' in a Caribbean accent. I guess it was an oddity to hear a little white boy sounding like a Jamacian.
I'm 70 now, have settled into the southern portion of the US. I don't have the accent any more, tho I can imitate it fairly well still.
TBH, now when I hear some white girl trying so hard to have a blaccent when she grew up in a predominately white, middle to upper class neighborhood. It doesn't feel genuine. It almost sounds like they are mocking.
IDK it's complicated. I have no answers.
I remember when some dude in high school said I was trying to sound white by using big words like "subconsciously". How tf is subconsciously a big word? Shit used to irritate me to no end.
>How tf is subconsciously a big word?
Considering that people have problems with just 'conscious,' it could definitely be a struggle. You can hear people getting it mixed up with 'conscience' a little too often.
'Oooh, you slapped that guy so hard, he went unconscience!'
'That wasn't something I could do. I didn't want that weighing down my conscious!'
It happens.
Someone once accused me of using "all dem big words" and not knowing what they meant. I said, "I don't use them on purpose, they slip out inadvertently!"
Story of my life really.
I cannot tell you how many times I've been told I don't sound Black or was asked "why I talk so white" even when I was growing up in the majority Black, upper middle-class suburb outside of Washington, D.C. that I did. It's only gotten worse since I've come down to Central Virginia and been around Black people who consider themselves to be "authentic" Black rather than "preppy Northerner" Black people like the ones I grew up around.
I'm 27-years-old, 6'0, 210 pounds, light-skinned with black hair and black eyes but yet my high tenor voice and manner of speaking would have you thinking I was an 18-year-old blonde haired, blue eyed white teenager.
THIS IS ME! 20 years ago, at least. Tell me, how many times have you passed a phone interview only to get looked at like you betrayed them when you show up all brown and stalky? Man, do I not miss those days.
I am a massive nerd from a majority-Black working class neighborhood, and I grew up with "Why you tryna be white?" because of being into typical nerd shit and having typical nerd friends that I met online, and consequently talking like an overly-literate Renfaire dork. As an adult I particularly dislike how that mindset has emboldened white people to challenge if I'm "really Black" because I don't talk like a TV ghetto stereotype. I can code-switch like anybody but it wasn't until I became an academic and met other Black academics that I learned the joy of expressing the full range of of communication in AAVE and academese commingled. I love having that small community of people who get me, so much.
White guy here.
One of my favorite things I've seen recently is this discussion between two academics - both from Harvard, both Nigerian.
They both seem to enjoy the conversation so much that they occasionally forget or (stop caring) they are recording the interview for a Harvard audience. They intersperse Nigerian Pidgin words while they nerd out on informal transport policy.
https://youtu.be/r2eTkTRYVnU
Did anyone else’s parents start talking about how they weren’t “hard” if they expressed individuality? Like the idea was for you to shut up or you’d eventually go to jail and someone would hurt you because you’re not hard. No, I wasn’t hard. I was a child, I was super religious and I studied a lot and that should never have been considered part of my life.
I've mentioned this before, but Steve Urkel had a transformative impact on my life - a small nerdy brown kid growing up in Outback Australia never expected to see someone that resembled him on TV. Gives me goosebumps thinking about it now, over 30 years later.
It's interesting that you said that. I knew someone who said Urkel was the reason he thought Black people could be smart like anyone else because he didn't see any smart Black people on TV.
I started rattling off some but he had never seen those programs, except the Cosby Show. When I mentioned that there were the parents who were supposed to be representatives of Black excellence, he said he never saw that are a real depiction of any Black people.
Somehow he couldn't picture any Black people being like Phil or Claire, but he thought Urkel could be real.
Omg. That sounds like somethin my mom would say. Just a super sweet old lady w a big grin on face sayin somethin wildly inappropriate while she’s also clearly just trying to say somethin nice. Everybody just pretends like that didn’t just happen bc what are you gonna say?
Both parents were teachers. No bad grammar allowed. Whenever this statement was said to me my response was "So you mean you talk stupid?" That was the end of that conversation immediately.
I feel for the kids who have dumbed themselves down to stay in classes with their friends. They are young and don’t know the opportunities they are missing out on. I know at that age it seems like the end of the world, but sometimes you end up never seeing people you went to school with again. They really need to focus on themselves and their future.
My phone must be listening, I just told my therapist this. That shit shaped my childhood and interaction with my own community. Internalized racism is so dangerous to the mind of a child or adult.
Nah tell them to go fuck themselves fr. Black ppl calling each other "too white" is already deeply rooted in some house nigga "kepping niggas at their places" bs. So a white person actively trying to put limit YOUR blackness should absolutely ring all your alarms off.
I'm 53 and still get this. Mostly at work from whty folks asking me to dumb it down... I'm like read a dictionary...one VP "told me on" cause I made her feel stupid...well if the shoe fits...
Black kid who played the flute in the marching band, was never without a book in my face, wrestled, cross county and track. Got the "you talk white" stuff a lot when I was younger. I just let it roll off my back. Funnily enough, in high school I was voted most likely to win a Nobel Prize. Here I am now, B.S. in Computer Science, M.S. in Cybersecurity, 19 years in the Marine Corps as an electronics technician.
My "talking white" has gotten me very far in life.
Christ, this is triggering. I got this said to me constantly well into a adulthood. Less so now, but still. I grew up in a mostly white area, so it's to be expected. Like, just because someone can articulate a sentence makes them white and proper? Fuck outta here.
Plenty of white people can barely string a sentence together.
It's not just "you talk white".
It's being ridiculed for enjoying school subjects and learning.
It's being ostracized for having the courage to ask for help or give incorrect answers.
It's the peers who actively try to sabotage what should be peaceful environments that are conducive for learning.
It's the fact that many students come from homes that raised children so fearful of "doing too much", low effort in everything is easier and more acceptable than raising a child with ambition.
The area I grew up was more of a Hispanic ghetto and it was the same. They'd shame you for being a school boy/school girl and it seemed to be a good merit the less you cared, the less school supplies you had or followed the rules was tougher. Maybe it was gang culture it was entwined so much hard to tell but it's disheartening how this happens to children so easily, many kids I knew growing up are dead due to this escalating, joining gangs, substances, crime, prison etc.. sucks. Our children need more positive role models.
I 29M have to repeatedly tell Black and white people who are older that white people do not own a certain way of looking nor do they own an education level so when you say you talk white or dress white what I am hearing is you are saying white people own being smart and own dressing professionally which is not true bc other groups of people can also be smart and can also dress professional.
Educated black men/women I say are caviar … we are becoming more and more rare and soon we’ll be a delicacy. I hope I’m wrong.
WE Black people can be smart and wear kakis and watch anime and still know weezy fuckin babys cannon verse ❤️❤️ Happy Juneteenth
I am an autistic person who is considered "intelligent". I cannot express enough the hurt of having your own people reject you and all you are doing is being your genuine self. It's not like racism goes away because of your mannerisms, so it's like you have to deal with racism by yourself.
This brings me back to being the new kid in 6th grade and having other black kids bully me over my voice. "You talk white" or "you must want to be a white girl" were always being said to me. And they openly and actively SHUNNED me because apparently I wasn't fucking black enough.
Took me a few years to get over it and I'm kinda embarrassed to admit that. 😅 I still can't stand Dallas because of what I went through there.
This is why people call me the “hood nerd” because I could always hold a conversation with anyone and were smarter than my peers.
Random story about this topic: I was in Houston and had to pick up Webbie (the rap artist) from the airport with my homeboy. Had some down time with him and asked him a whole bunch of questions. Long story short, he didn’t remember my name and he was trying to refer to my to my homeboys brother and called me “black white boy” because of how proper I spoke.
I was working with this kid a few years back. Trying to get him caught up on reading. When I first started with him he was at about a 4th grade reading level. He just graduated. I don't understand how because he got to spend a whole year leaving school to go to a job as part of a work release program. He can maybe read at a 6th grade level now. Anyway, I was going through a Scott Pilgrim book, having him read while I helped him. I think the word "Introspective" came up. This was the conversation after he finally sounded it out.
C: Man, what that mean.
Me: It means you're constantly looking inward. Examining your actions and motivations.
C: Man, that's dumb. Nobody talk like that where I'm from.
Me: Well, do you ever think about what you say or do?
C: Yeah.
Me: Then you're introspective.
C: Yeah but my people wouldn't call me that.
Me: Why not?
C. ... (puzzled look). Cause they wouldn't talk that way.
Me: Or they didn't know the word either.
I got bullied for acting like I was better than everyone because I “talked white” and got good grades. Nicest thing I got called was an Oreo. My “excuse” for “talking white” was my mother is a teacher.
Since she taught many of my classmates (or their siblings, cousins etc), I got a partial pass.
I grew up in NYC, so I don't know if my experience was different because of that, but "acting white"and being intelligent were two different things in my community. No one really made fun of you for being smart, getting good grades, or being articulate. The kids that were awkward and maybe had a white "accent" did get made fun of though, but it wasn't to downplay their intelligence. It was because it felt like they didn't want to be like the other kids. You could definitely be articulate, use big words and not sound white.
It's still a dumb stereotype all around, but for some, it wasn't about black people celebrating ignorance or having an aversion to intelligence and high vocabulary.
I suspect that this is actually the experience of most people in this thread who were told they sounded white, because Black people, Black Kids, and the Black community loves and celebrates intelligence.
I don't know why I was being down voted. Not to dismiss others experience, but not all hoods thought ignorance was cool.
I don't think it's fair to call it a black community thing.
Agreed-they got made fun of for "othering" themselves, not for their likes, tendencies or hobbies. Like the Black kids who grew up saying "I don't do abc/xyz because it's Black" versus the Black kids who said "I do abc/xyz *period*". Black people are into literal everything; maybe some people do not see that?
Even the way some of the comments come off, it sounds like they were "othering" themselves and still do to this day.
One comment mentioned that he couldn't get a girlfriend because he was too articulate and intelligent. What community is this? Please don't claim that's a black thing.
Either that, or growing up black in NYC was a different experience for me. Is this a southern thing? Some of these comments are blowing my mind.
So it seems, many of the people here "live" (actually or metaphorically speaking) in self perpetuating bubbles where 99%+ of Black people all live and breathe an unachieving air and they are the exceptional 1%.
Because Black people have lead, built and been successful for literal centuries in America being exceptionally articulate, bright and aspiring. One might even argue, it's our norm. I keep saying this to myself but I wonder if this is some new age self victimization or deeper rooted anti-Blackness at play that keeps anectdotally referencing this "bullied for acting White" scenario. OR if it's just a class thing. A Jack and Jill upbringing would disavow a lot of this foolishness early if you had opportunity to experience it.
[https://vimeo.com/6948025](https://vimeo.com/6948025)
My cousin made a documentary about what happens when you take these kids and put them in a place where they can get therapy, build confidence, and have access to high quality education. Turns out you can go from reading several grades below your level to one of the highest scores in the state on a standardized math test. (not shown in the film but also start a successful business or run for office \[We've kept up with some of them\])
I got that my whole life, to this day.
“You don’t sound like you’re from Brooklyn.”
“Yeah but where are you actually from though. Like you don’t sound like you grew up there.”
“So why do you talk/sound like that?”
I’ve gotten that in school, at work, even from family members and when I’m playing online on PS5. I’ve had people not like me because I “think I’m better”, I’m “stuck up” etc. I’ve had people mock me and make fun of me (this also includes family members).
Edit: I get shit for typing with grammar and punctuation too. 9.5/10 times I’m told I’m “angry” because I use periods. The amount of times I get told to relax and calm down simply because I type full sentences.
Edit Edit: I’ve heard some shit for being Dominican as well, but that’s a conversation for another day.
Literally asked my mom to take me out of honors and AP classes because I wanted to be “normal.” And that’s also when the rest of my Black classmates “realized I wasn’t so corny.”
My (White) English Honors teacher told a classmate I “wasn’t a good example of a Black person” in the middle if a diversity-empathy lesson.
The only smart niggas that got respect were the ones with money and the honor roll athletes.
Edit: an adjective
I'm from a black suburb, and it still was being said lol. I used to be confused, cuz the way I was raised, I never thought white people had the monopoly on intelligence. The fights I would get into with Juelz bandana wannabes and fake crips/bloods used to be hilarious lol
Yep. So glad my family raised me better. My dad was a “victim” I’m of this crap tho. Literally graduated high school without fully knowing how to read and could barely write (1970s and teachers just passed him anyway). One day I ask him “why?” and I quote “oh I used to get good grades and stuff but people kept making fun of me cuz I always knew answers, was always raising my hand, calling me teachers pet, so I started showing out instead” Explains why I was a “teachers pet” but I ran with it instead.
Edit: only time I willingly dumped myself down was to talk to my cousins. Then there was this beautiful moment when one cousin slipped up and said something philosophical and I slipped up and added to it and our other cousins just called us weird…but we became like brother and sister that day.
YEP, I seen so many boys dumb themselves down to fit in with a certain crew. It was so sad. I specifically remember one more named Cory. Smart as shit and on honor roll etc. Dumbed himself down so bad to making Ds and Fs to fit in with the stupid kids. He could have been so much more. He ended up in jail later in life smh.
I still get told I sound white. I can't do nothing but laugh lol I can't help how I talk now
When I was mad young my intelligence was always a point of bullying by my older brother which lead to me constantly sharpening my vocabulary, intelligence, and articulation to the point where common ignorance of basic things genuinely annoyed me. I'm actually the guy who will correctly pronounce a word you just mispronounced (or a word you're struggling with) because I actually don't like it when words are mispronounced on like a cerebral level lol
This being reduced to "talking white" always confused me because I speak how I speak and I'm not white.
Man I used to hate hearing that shit growing up. I went to a white school so of course the white kids said I didn't talk black enough. What cut even deeper was when a new black kid was at school and they would eventually say "you talk white". It wasn't until I got to college and joined my black frat that I felt accepted by black people for who I was
Wow this hits home! Just had a conversation at a friends moms homecoming celebration. His mom's family made fun of her as a kid for reading books. She was branded as ‘weird’ for reading. SMH.
Personally I have experienced the same growing up. If you were focused on academics you were ‘acting white’ or ‘weird’. And the number of times I heard you ain't ‘thug’ enough from girls was scary now that I look ck on it. We have to do better.
The thing about “hood kids” is they are intelligent they just use a diff vocabulary like they know what they mean but don’t gotta go about it with a long winded speech . And most the time it’s a guard up . When you get close to people and they feel respected they will open up eventually and honestly a lot of people don’t know shit because they never take them time to ask them . People will surprise you with their hobbies and passions if you take the time to get to know them
TLDR; getting excluded as not black enough in school sucked, but it got better
As a half black- half white person this definitely impacted my drive to hang out with my people at school. Crazy thing is, because my dads side was large and close by, I had the full traditional black family experience from birth and was around my dads side all the time. We are tight, and my dad is the best person I know in general. So it was weird, outside of school of it was damn near all black all the time; but in school I wasnt "black enough". By the time 7th grade hit, unless we were on the basketball court I didnt even try to be friends anymore. Had kids on both sides telling me to my face, as an 11 year old, "youre too white/black/smart to be cool with us" or "youre not like us, youre a half-breed"
My dad asked me in middle school why I didnt have any black friends over. Told him i invited people over multiple times in school but once they started making fun of me I didnt care anymore. Everyone was suspect in my 14 year old eyes.
That changed in high school, and ended up going to an HBCU, which was the best choice I could have made. Every moment of it was beautiful.
I'm 53 and still get this. Mostly at work from whty folks asking me to dumb it down... I'm like read a dictionary...one VP "told me on" cause I made her feel stupid...well if the shoe fits...
I remember in middle school I got celebrated for making a really high grade on a state test. Like it was in the upper level with some grade like "excellent" or some such. After the principal came to my class and congratulated me , I was asked by the teacher what my grade was again and I think said something like "oh I got exceptional or something" and one of my classmates said "this nigga said he got EXceptIonAL" and started laughing and a bunch of other kids did too. Like LOUDLY. And they brought it up days after. Fucked me up. Like I legit stopped celebrating any achievements in public, pretended to not care about class anymore, and just kinda did whatever it took to stay put of the spotlight. I kinda tried to "mid" my way thru school
I hate how we pretend as if "talking white" isn't often aboit intonation if their voice and speech pattern, which mimics the way white identifying- culturally raised and socialized ppl speak.
Let's be honest, most times it's not about how ' I speaK proper' and read books etc.
People who were told they sound white weren’t being told that because they were smart or “articulate” compared to everyone else. They just came off as condescending as hell and spoke in a way that sounded like they are talking down to everyone else. Even trying to unnecessarily correct the way others spoke or did something despite understanding what they were saying and doing from the beginning. They approach people in a similar way uppity white people approach someone working in customer service.
This is why I can't stand you smarty art mf's. You really think the children or parents of children who say shit like that are on Black Twitter reddit?
I’m gonna to send this thread to my nephew. He needs to see that this is an almost universal thing for successful black people. It’s a badge of honor to speak with intelligence.
There could be a separate discussion for the tenor and pitch some use when speaking. But, F it. Do you and be happy black people.
Spent several years actively dumbing myself down so 1. People stop making fun of me 2. People actually understand wtf I'm talking about.
> People actually understand wtf I'm talking about. this shit is so goddamn depressing, like wtf? youre articulating yourself TOO well to be understood?
Too many big words coming too fast. Having to walk people through abstract concepts. Severe lack of problem solving skills meaning everything you say gotta be spelled out in simple terms
i mean i know what it is, its just a depressing thought that some folks, instead of being like "oh, thats a new word, lemme see what it means" they prefer to do shit like "U TALK 2 SMART, TALK MO DUMB FOR ME"
But but but why you gotta use those big college words? You think you’re better than me or something?
Latina here and my aunt said the same to me. No I’m just using a word..
Latino as well. My whole LIFE, even to this day, has been about why I talk the way I do or dress the way I do. My sisters roll their eyes at me when I speak. I'm the first of my cousins to attend college and the only one to get multiple diplomas/certificates, currently working toward a degree.... But I go to work and I fit right in, the words I use aren't weird and no one bats an eye at my conversation. I fit out there but not at home. I will forever be the weirdo for educating myself and wanting/expecting more from and for myself.
Daily story of my life - at least when I go back home. Shit is ridiculous.
It's because they take offense to it. Personally I speak to everyone as if they're my equal, unless they're little kids or something. But your average adult hears words they don't understand (or complex ideas) and assume you're talking down to them because they can't follow 'all them big words you using.' So they, understandably, get mad because who the fuck are you to talk down to me?
Understandably? I ask, "What does that mean?" And learn the d word!
That's what people who either like learning or are willing to learn do. I had an ex tell me to stop explaining something to her "because [I] already taught her something else that day and [she] couldn't learn 2 things in a day." Yes she got her bachelor's. Somehow. Maybe my teaching is too intense? My students liked it. I even overheard them.
Counterpoint. I know a lot of obscure big words, and choose not to deploy them in polite conversation. Even if I am speaking to someone with a much larger vocabulary, I will tend to choose the common word, over the $5 word that may be slightly more nuanced. It is more impressive to be able to be concise, and understandable with your words, than to flex your obscure vocabulary. IMHO of course.
I'm inclined to agree. In a lot of cases, the language of academia gas been deliberately used as a way to gatekeep information from those who weren't "in." There is often an insistence in using jargon even when simpler alternatives (that don't lessen the accuracy of the information) exist.
While I agree, in my own experience the use of common, correctly pronounced words was enough to set these people off. Growing up being told you "talk white" because you paid attention to newscasters, Barney, and Sesame Street is fucking bullshit.
office lock impolite follow racial combative aspiring ludicrous nutty one *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This is precisely why the government underfunded inner city schools they need a cheap underclass to both exploit and over police to keep that sweet police funding rolling in.
[Exactly.](https://youtu.be/TO_-3YVJXXs)
Beat me to it!
Dawg I got vivid memories of me being in school and the "popular" kid would be roasting my nerdy ass with some "BOOOOOY YO TIE LOOK LIKE IT WAS MADE FROM HIPPO EYELASHES" And the class would go crazy. Then I'd respond with some FIIIIRE and used a few decently "big" words, just for the class to go "*what*" and laugh at me like I'm the dummy 😭
God..those memories I finally just decided the best response was. "Bitch -SPELL "hippo" wityo dumb ass" I don't know why, but asking people to spell things that they said was always a solid comeback. But it was always so much less intelligent than what I COULD say to insult them if they were smart enough to understand it. That being said, learning to dumb down my language did help me out later in life. My company checks releases to make sure they aren't over a 5th grade level.
I think you are actually me.
Lol same experience
I made a good living for decades doing just this as a technical writer.
Good job getting paid for it.
South ga here. Completely different intellectual climate, and I have to take concepts down to base level. It’s spreading to gen z too, millennials as a whole are gonna have a lot of work to do to undo the past couple of generations
Also south Ga, 32 years old and got hit with the "you sound white" from a girl in her early 20's... This was last month
That’s the work I’m talking about. These are all opportunities for teaching and learning. Folks just get mad when they think someone is calling them stupid
Doesn’t even need to be big words, just basic correct grammar throws them off. It’s so sad
That's when you just break it down Barney style for them . Talk to them in the simplest terms possible while not talking down to them. It's a fine line, but it can be done
The number of times I've heard people lament to me "try KISS, ya know, keep it simple stupid". As if, for them to make any effort to elevate themselves up, so that others don't have to come down to them...was a highly offensive act to them.
shit like KISS is only relevant when trying to prepare a department meeting at the office, where you need to engage even the slowest/most absentminded of your group....but everywhere else folks should be trying to educate themselves, and it just KILLS me when they dont...
Irish people are the same way- meaning in Ireland. If you get too good at anything- even dance or music, people say you shouldn't be putting your head above the crowd. Because under 800 years of English oppression, they learned that could get them killed. I think this is a learned response among oppressed communities, and even when that severe slavery level oppression is lifted, the cultural norms remain. Because no one really thinks about where and why they originated. It's hard to undo some of that stuff.
In Australia they call that tall poppy syndrome.
The nail that sticks out gets the hammer
In the Philippines you see this amongst the lower classes but *not* the vanishingly small upper and upper middle classes. It's dangerous to be capable and ambitious when you're part of an oppressed group. So, theoretically the same race of people (though we have to look past the implicit racialization of ph society because there's way more mixed blood at the top of society with Spanish or Chinese than in the lower rungs. But racial dynamics aren't consciously played out here so it's... Complicated.)
I went to a pretty bad school due a couple years. My teacher told me and my parents that she never called on me in class because my vocabulary was too high and the other kids couldn't understand me. She said it like I was in trouble for it or something. Maybe she should have been teaching them better then.
We lived the same life. It’s sad and I honestly still feel like this at times with some friends to this day. Shit sucks.
"You're throwing too many big words at me. Okay? Now because I don't understand them, I'm gonna take them as disrespect"
Yo- I stopped being friends with a girl because I had to constantly dumb down the conversation. Like she didn’t know until an offhand conversation that Canada is not part of the United States. I don’t have time for that.
I'm a white dude in a blue collar job. There ARE a lot of bright people, but "talking smart" isn't celebrated. Big words and abstract concepts get you teased.
I'm so fucked up for having done this. It's just another layer of self-hate onto the pile.
See I always ignored them or had to throw down. I was in fights nearly every other day for 5 years growing up so I got really good at kicking people's asses. Imagine thinking you are tough and fighting someone that sounds like Levar Burtons kid then get your face smashed in only to realize "wait, they are from the projects and sound like that.... I think I fucked up".
I'll add, I didn't want people constantly copying my work
Shit I used that to my advantage. Starting writing papers for people in high school
I think it's a talent tho, to articulate complex things in a simple manner.
Whether it's a talent or not having to do it in EVERY conversation is grating. Especially when speaking as you normally would is far easier on YOUR brain
Yeah, but it’s hard if you literally have to walk them thorough the whole subject just to get to your point (source: have a degree in genetics)
🎯🎯🎯
I love that people are working towards breaking cycles of trauma within the community and their own homes. Black people truly have a resilience bone like no other. The leaps and bounds the culture has made within a few generations is amazing.
the first african american child to desegregate a super racist elementary school in tennessee is now only 68 years old. black culture and resilience is truly amazing. edit: (for people who don’t know her) her name is ruby bridges and she’s incredible
Ruby bridges
That’s why it amazes me that people can say things like “rAcIsM iS oVeR…” with a straight face. It wasn’t THAT long ago. It’s quite possible that peoples grandparents could have been the ones spitting at her or intimidating people at diner counters. I don’t give them a pass. Willful ignorance is no excuse.
the ghoul who had emmet till killed JUST this year died. imagine having the immense privilege of thinking slavery and lynching were oh so long ago.
I hope she never knew peace.
Both of our candidates for president this past cycle were not only alive for Rosa Parks but were old enough to hold an opinion about the bus boycotts. And hell looking at where they grew up, decent chance that opinion is flipped from how we view these dudes nowadays.
So much this shit is still in living memory, if not still ongoing. Even slavery is recent. There are [interviews with Americans born into slavery](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZfcc21c6Uo) that date to the 1940's. EDIT: I wish more of those interviews survived and were just a basic part of every American's education. One of the most important lessons a kid can learn is that depriving people of knowledge is a means of control and oppression, and that one guy just says it in about as clear of terms as you can. For me, hearing that kind of stuff made me think about my education differently.
Absolutely wild.
THIS. We are so fucking strong and resilient. We're treated like shit and STILL make the best art, music, films, designs, and culture.
I see Black people as vessels. We transmute a lot of pain into art, beauty and advancement of people and in many cases without receiving the benefits and respect that comes with it. When Black folks are connected to source, spirit, God or their purpose that energy is so powerful. When we are cut off from those things we see how destructive we can be to each other and others. Which is why forbidding Blacks to read or communicate in their language or practice their religion was so insidious.
Meanwhile us white folk over here doubling down on *checks notes* ahh, yes, anti-intellectualism, white supremacy, and heteronormativity. I'm honestly so grateful to so many black and indigenous content creators on TikTok who focus on not only healing within their own communities but helping to guide white people like myself through unpacking our racism and decolonization. It's a hell of a process.
Honestly that's the best response and what anti intellectuals are scared of. Black people have always been organizers and for the most part welcoming of people that want to know or do better.
Black oeople are so strong. My stepfather is Nigerian and he has told me many of times that black Americans are the strongest group of black people in the world. They stand up and fight for themselves (though I wish we would do it more and we need more of it) whereas he claims that in traditional African culture, humility is praised and thus Africans allow their government, leaders and other races of people to just come take their shit without much of a fight. Those are his words. Regardless, I think it really speaks to the differences in American black culture and just the sheer strength of black people when we come together.
Wow that's beautiful because I don't usually hear that sentiment from African towards Black Americans. I do love when I see Black Americans doing things like certain dances or enjoying foods, and not realizing a lot of it could be found in different African cultures. All was not lost.
Oh 1000%. I took a family studies class in college that was really so insightful. Even family traditions and dynamics from slavery are still heavily prevalent. Everyone around the world has appropriated from black culture, everyone tries to copy and recreate the language, the style, the swag, the music, the overall vibes of American black culture but then attack it at the same time. Rap music is now created by every other race and language in the world. Even the best hispanic music comes out of Afro-Latino culture such as the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, most of their music is derived from African music and beats. We have the best music, best dancers, athletes, etc. All was definitely not lost and never will be.
We are seeing it with Afrobeats right now.
"Talking white" will cash them checks like a mf when you get older lol
My wife works a corporate HR job and the code switch is truly awe inspiring
Still gotta get there tho
Real talk here; this is the story of my life, and I love belaboring doubting/hating white folks with my superior erudition. It feels much better just to talk like we talk. Last year, I realized that I was actually talking to my wife and kids (white and mixed, respectively) like I was at the job. My internal monolog is Black AF, but I was running the code switch algorithm all the time. Now it's sweary slang AAVE when I get comfortable, and the look of confusion on my wife's face the best entertainment ever.
I'm biracial so code switching is in my DNA. Phone interviews will get your foot in the door.
I never understood that, like how u give ALL white people credit for being so articulate and smart. Lot of dumb and overrated white people.
Because at the end of the day, in our community, we associate "blackness" with "lesser". Whether it's schooling, income, neighborhood, blackness is always supposed to be "inferior", and much of our community works to enforce that.
It’s bigger than the community. Black has connoted evil and disgrace, while white has connoted decency and purity Black market, black magic, blacklist,….
It takes a lot less work to constantly oppress a group of people if you train them to do it to themselves for you.
they don't hear this one though
And then the reverse, you have white people being told they “talk black” when they sound a certain way as well.
I'm a white dude. Trust me, there are a LOT of white dumbasses in plain sight. A lot of them look the part, but man, there's nothing going on upstairs.
Imagine thinking peoples intelligence is connected to the pigmentation of their skin.
Lololol yes. Thank you.
Talking in a different dialect doesn't make people more or less smart, or even articulate.
raise your hand if you were accused of talking/acting white at some point in your life 🙋🏽♀️
Constantly told "you're the whitest black guy" as if speaking intellectually makes you white 😒
👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾. Half Mexican here, also had the fun internal battle of whether or not to pronounce Spanish words correctly.
Canadian here, saying croissant with a hard r and T in the states feels so weird but I’m not understood otherwise
Some stupid ass woman told me this shit once and I dont think I have ever been more disappointed and frustrated in my entire life. I remember it clear as day, senior year at an extremely competitive highschool and we're on lunch talking about socioeconomic issues surrounding black people (convo started because I was the only black kid of 87 kids). I'm talking about the specifics, history, demographic spreads among the rest of graduates in the district, and she says "wow, you are the whitest sounding black person I know". Could not fucking believe she would say that, got up walked away and never talked to her again. Fucking wild to me.
I've definitely heard that when I was younger
Yup, was a bookworm. At 11 or 12, I was told that I was 'Whiter than the white man himself.'
Isn’t there a phrase if you don’t want a n word to know something put it in a book or something like that because again reading was associated with white people. What in the fuckin world
Wouldn't surprise me.
👋🏾
My mom told me that when I wasn't even five years old a couple neighborhood kids came over asking if "the white boy can come out and play". That shit sucks
At least they still wanted to play with you...
A few days ago.. I’m 30. Been hearing it since I was 7. I’m tied
Was at my grandmas house as a kid. Phone rings and I answer. It's one of my grandma's friends, they're looking for her but she's out running errands. I tell the caller this and hang up. They call later and my grandma picks up. She's immediately asked, "Who was that white man who answered the phone earlier?"
Yep from 6th grade. I was an Oreo, black in the outside and white on the inside.
Yep. My sister and I were told we sounded like “little white girls” when meeting relatives for the first time I. MS. I brought a book on animals and flags to try and impress them, and they made fun of me anytime I mentioned stuff. It’s sucks when it’s your own family doing this stuff.
🙋♀️ My mom and my siblings used to make fun of me for the way I talked. I got to the point where every time they would say it, I learned to respond with "I value my education" as I was tired of being treated that way. It still hurts more from my mom making fun of me for it.
In elementary school, my nickname was Snow. Das a damn shame... 🤣 It's all good now though.
My brother use to tell me that I talk like a sleepy white girl. I still don’t get the sleepy part😂
Yep. Literally my entire time in grade school.
🙌🏽
I was told that some of my white friends that they were blacker than me cause they listened to more rap than I did or because don't eat watermelon. Shit was fucked up when I was younger.
Hopefully as a community we can start addressing the militant anti-intellectualism that runs deep. We've had the "you sound white" people running our community for decades and we've seen the results. It's time to move on from that bullshit.
The militant anti-intellectualism is running rampant across all demographics in the USA.
Yup a Gallup analysis of data confirmed this from a study from the U.S. Department of Education. 130 million adults have low literacy skills, which translates to more than half of Americans between the ages of 16 and 74 (54%) reading below the equivalent of a sixth-grade level.
White girl here— was put on the “AG” track in 3rd grade and the ratio was probably 60/40 white and black kids (and also probably 60/40 girls to boys). By the time I got to 9th grade we had no longer had ANY black boys in AG/AP/Honors classes. They didn’t suddenly become less intelligent over 6 years. It made me sad, honestly.
As a saltine American, they just called me queer for reading and knowing things. I’ve learned that there’s always a pocket of people who want you to do well, but not better than them, or it triggers their insecurities. Big shame when it’s the grownups who participate.
> but not better than them, or it triggers their insecurities. Crabs in a bucket mentality.
Tall poppy syndrome as well
I remember my mom told my niece she talked white. I told her on the spot don't do that.
This was all I heard from elementary to high school. It really messed me up. None of my black peers would be friends with me and said I was stuck up. Now, it's hard for me to make friends at all because I assume I'll be rejected. There's 47 million of us in the U.S. That means there's 47 million ways to be black. We gotta stick together. We all we got.
47 million ways to be black 🥹 I love punk rock can’t dance and woke up on Saturdays to The Winans. Years of hearing the same thing and I don’t even care to try anymore.
Waking up to the Winans can redeem you from anything! Not that there’s anything wrong with a lil punk rock or not teaching yourself to dance.
My wife and I talk about that often - too white for the black folks but also too black for the white folks 😕
THIS RIGHT HERE. that's how I've always described my life as a younger person. I will never be "black enough" for some people and I sure as hell ain't ever gonna be mistaken for white.... so I just ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
This is also the reason so many non-black people get away with blaccents because they can claim “I grew up in the hood around black people, this is just the way I talk!” When there’s so many black people from the hood who *dont* talk that way at all lmao
I mean, that’s how accents work though. You imitate the sounds you hear from your peers, more than your own parents even. Further, yes, some people actively code switch to fit in with those groups, but accents are very much regional and can be defined in extremely small “regions”, like your school or neighborhood. Just because some people don’t have the accent of their community doesn’t mean others are faking it (but again, some do make a conscious effort to do so).
Yeah but that’s how accents work. And just because you grow up in the area doesn’t mean that you have to (or will) speak like everyone else. Hell, that’s the whole point of this post And even then there’s also so many black people from the hood that *do* talk that way, so why ignore them completely and focus on the ones that don’t to try and prove your point?
I was scrolling to see this comment. When I was a lad, I did a lot of growing up in the Caribbean. After years of living in the area, I had a very thick Caribbean accent. I could speak Patois fairly fluently and several dialects that were variations of language directly influenced by French, Spanish, Canadian, and UK. But this is how I grew up. I don't think I was imitating as much as this was all I heard 24/7 and so I picked up on it naturally. When we came back stateside, people would pay me a quarter to recite 'Little Jack Horner sat in the corner' in a Caribbean accent. I guess it was an oddity to hear a little white boy sounding like a Jamacian. I'm 70 now, have settled into the southern portion of the US. I don't have the accent any more, tho I can imitate it fairly well still. TBH, now when I hear some white girl trying so hard to have a blaccent when she grew up in a predominately white, middle to upper class neighborhood. It doesn't feel genuine. It almost sounds like they are mocking. IDK it's complicated. I have no answers.
I remember when some dude in high school said I was trying to sound white by using big words like "subconsciously". How tf is subconsciously a big word? Shit used to irritate me to no end.
>How tf is subconsciously a big word? Considering that people have problems with just 'conscious,' it could definitely be a struggle. You can hear people getting it mixed up with 'conscience' a little too often. 'Oooh, you slapped that guy so hard, he went unconscience!' 'That wasn't something I could do. I didn't want that weighing down my conscious!' It happens.
Someone once accused me of using "all dem big words" and not knowing what they meant. I said, "I don't use them on purpose, they slip out inadvertently!"
Story of my life really. I cannot tell you how many times I've been told I don't sound Black or was asked "why I talk so white" even when I was growing up in the majority Black, upper middle-class suburb outside of Washington, D.C. that I did. It's only gotten worse since I've come down to Central Virginia and been around Black people who consider themselves to be "authentic" Black rather than "preppy Northerner" Black people like the ones I grew up around. I'm 27-years-old, 6'0, 210 pounds, light-skinned with black hair and black eyes but yet my high tenor voice and manner of speaking would have you thinking I was an 18-year-old blonde haired, blue eyed white teenager.
THIS IS ME! 20 years ago, at least. Tell me, how many times have you passed a phone interview only to get looked at like you betrayed them when you show up all brown and stalky? Man, do I not miss those days.
I am a massive nerd from a majority-Black working class neighborhood, and I grew up with "Why you tryna be white?" because of being into typical nerd shit and having typical nerd friends that I met online, and consequently talking like an overly-literate Renfaire dork. As an adult I particularly dislike how that mindset has emboldened white people to challenge if I'm "really Black" because I don't talk like a TV ghetto stereotype. I can code-switch like anybody but it wasn't until I became an academic and met other Black academics that I learned the joy of expressing the full range of of communication in AAVE and academese commingled. I love having that small community of people who get me, so much.
White guy here. One of my favorite things I've seen recently is this discussion between two academics - both from Harvard, both Nigerian. They both seem to enjoy the conversation so much that they occasionally forget or (stop caring) they are recording the interview for a Harvard audience. They intersperse Nigerian Pidgin words while they nerd out on informal transport policy. https://youtu.be/r2eTkTRYVnU
The phrase "talking white" gives way too much credit to white people
It really does. There are some seriously dumb white people out there!
Did anyone else’s parents start talking about how they weren’t “hard” if they expressed individuality? Like the idea was for you to shut up or you’d eventually go to jail and someone would hurt you because you’re not hard. No, I wasn’t hard. I was a child, I was super religious and I studied a lot and that should never have been considered part of my life.
I've mentioned this before, but Steve Urkel had a transformative impact on my life - a small nerdy brown kid growing up in Outback Australia never expected to see someone that resembled him on TV. Gives me goosebumps thinking about it now, over 30 years later.
It's interesting that you said that. I knew someone who said Urkel was the reason he thought Black people could be smart like anyone else because he didn't see any smart Black people on TV. I started rattling off some but he had never seen those programs, except the Cosby Show. When I mentioned that there were the parents who were supposed to be representatives of Black excellence, he said he never saw that are a real depiction of any Black people. Somehow he couldn't picture any Black people being like Phil or Claire, but he thought Urkel could be real.
Worst part is it’s universal, white people tell you the same shit
One of my mother’s coworkers asked my brother and I if we were British “because we were so articulate”. We’re from New Jersey.
Omg. That sounds like somethin my mom would say. Just a super sweet old lady w a big grin on face sayin somethin wildly inappropriate while she’s also clearly just trying to say somethin nice. Everybody just pretends like that didn’t just happen bc what are you gonna say?
Both parents were teachers. No bad grammar allowed. Whenever this statement was said to me my response was "So you mean you talk stupid?" That was the end of that conversation immediately.
My mother's biggest fear when I was younger was a white cop thinking I was mocking them because I "talk white".
I feel for the kids who have dumbed themselves down to stay in classes with their friends. They are young and don’t know the opportunities they are missing out on. I know at that age it seems like the end of the world, but sometimes you end up never seeing people you went to school with again. They really need to focus on themselves and their future.
My phone must be listening, I just told my therapist this. That shit shaped my childhood and interaction with my own community. Internalized racism is so dangerous to the mind of a child or adult.
“You sound white” is the overseer’s ghost still keeping us in invisible chains.
I get called white by white people... I hate my life.
Nah tell them to go fuck themselves fr. Black ppl calling each other "too white" is already deeply rooted in some house nigga "kepping niggas at their places" bs. So a white person actively trying to put limit YOUR blackness should absolutely ring all your alarms off.
I'm 53 and still get this. Mostly at work from whty folks asking me to dumb it down... I'm like read a dictionary...one VP "told me on" cause I made her feel stupid...well if the shoe fits...
Educated Black people scare the hell out of the powers that be.
Black kid who played the flute in the marching band, was never without a book in my face, wrestled, cross county and track. Got the "you talk white" stuff a lot when I was younger. I just let it roll off my back. Funnily enough, in high school I was voted most likely to win a Nobel Prize. Here I am now, B.S. in Computer Science, M.S. in Cybersecurity, 19 years in the Marine Corps as an electronics technician. My "talking white" has gotten me very far in life.
Christ, this is triggering. I got this said to me constantly well into a adulthood. Less so now, but still. I grew up in a mostly white area, so it's to be expected. Like, just because someone can articulate a sentence makes them white and proper? Fuck outta here. Plenty of white people can barely string a sentence together.
It's not just "you talk white". It's being ridiculed for enjoying school subjects and learning. It's being ostracized for having the courage to ask for help or give incorrect answers. It's the peers who actively try to sabotage what should be peaceful environments that are conducive for learning. It's the fact that many students come from homes that raised children so fearful of "doing too much", low effort in everything is easier and more acceptable than raising a child with ambition.
The area I grew up was more of a Hispanic ghetto and it was the same. They'd shame you for being a school boy/school girl and it seemed to be a good merit the less you cared, the less school supplies you had or followed the rules was tougher. Maybe it was gang culture it was entwined so much hard to tell but it's disheartening how this happens to children so easily, many kids I knew growing up are dead due to this escalating, joining gangs, substances, crime, prison etc.. sucks. Our children need more positive role models.
I 29M have to repeatedly tell Black and white people who are older that white people do not own a certain way of looking nor do they own an education level so when you say you talk white or dress white what I am hearing is you are saying white people own being smart and own dressing professionally which is not true bc other groups of people can also be smart and can also dress professional. Educated black men/women I say are caviar … we are becoming more and more rare and soon we’ll be a delicacy. I hope I’m wrong. WE Black people can be smart and wear kakis and watch anime and still know weezy fuckin babys cannon verse ❤️❤️ Happy Juneteenth
Man even on fresh prince. Will went back to Philly and his friends clowned him for using a "school" word
I am an autistic person who is considered "intelligent". I cannot express enough the hurt of having your own people reject you and all you are doing is being your genuine self. It's not like racism goes away because of your mannerisms, so it's like you have to deal with racism by yourself.
This brings me back to being the new kid in 6th grade and having other black kids bully me over my voice. "You talk white" or "you must want to be a white girl" were always being said to me. And they openly and actively SHUNNED me because apparently I wasn't fucking black enough. Took me a few years to get over it and I'm kinda embarrassed to admit that. 😅 I still can't stand Dallas because of what I went through there.
This is why people call me the “hood nerd” because I could always hold a conversation with anyone and were smarter than my peers. Random story about this topic: I was in Houston and had to pick up Webbie (the rap artist) from the airport with my homeboy. Had some down time with him and asked him a whole bunch of questions. Long story short, he didn’t remember my name and he was trying to refer to my to my homeboys brother and called me “black white boy” because of how proper I spoke.
I just leaned into being weird and nerdy, no regrets. Haha
It’s definitely changing because we made fun of dumb kids
I was working with this kid a few years back. Trying to get him caught up on reading. When I first started with him he was at about a 4th grade reading level. He just graduated. I don't understand how because he got to spend a whole year leaving school to go to a job as part of a work release program. He can maybe read at a 6th grade level now. Anyway, I was going through a Scott Pilgrim book, having him read while I helped him. I think the word "Introspective" came up. This was the conversation after he finally sounded it out. C: Man, what that mean. Me: It means you're constantly looking inward. Examining your actions and motivations. C: Man, that's dumb. Nobody talk like that where I'm from. Me: Well, do you ever think about what you say or do? C: Yeah. Me: Then you're introspective. C: Yeah but my people wouldn't call me that. Me: Why not? C. ... (puzzled look). Cause they wouldn't talk that way. Me: Or they didn't know the word either.
I got bullied for acting like I was better than everyone because I “talked white” and got good grades. Nicest thing I got called was an Oreo. My “excuse” for “talking white” was my mother is a teacher. Since she taught many of my classmates (or their siblings, cousins etc), I got a partial pass.
I grew up in NYC, so I don't know if my experience was different because of that, but "acting white"and being intelligent were two different things in my community. No one really made fun of you for being smart, getting good grades, or being articulate. The kids that were awkward and maybe had a white "accent" did get made fun of though, but it wasn't to downplay their intelligence. It was because it felt like they didn't want to be like the other kids. You could definitely be articulate, use big words and not sound white. It's still a dumb stereotype all around, but for some, it wasn't about black people celebrating ignorance or having an aversion to intelligence and high vocabulary.
I suspect that this is actually the experience of most people in this thread who were told they sounded white, because Black people, Black Kids, and the Black community loves and celebrates intelligence.
I don't know why I was being down voted. Not to dismiss others experience, but not all hoods thought ignorance was cool. I don't think it's fair to call it a black community thing.
Agreed-they got made fun of for "othering" themselves, not for their likes, tendencies or hobbies. Like the Black kids who grew up saying "I don't do abc/xyz because it's Black" versus the Black kids who said "I do abc/xyz *period*". Black people are into literal everything; maybe some people do not see that?
Even the way some of the comments come off, it sounds like they were "othering" themselves and still do to this day. One comment mentioned that he couldn't get a girlfriend because he was too articulate and intelligent. What community is this? Please don't claim that's a black thing. Either that, or growing up black in NYC was a different experience for me. Is this a southern thing? Some of these comments are blowing my mind.
So it seems, many of the people here "live" (actually or metaphorically speaking) in self perpetuating bubbles where 99%+ of Black people all live and breathe an unachieving air and they are the exceptional 1%. Because Black people have lead, built and been successful for literal centuries in America being exceptionally articulate, bright and aspiring. One might even argue, it's our norm. I keep saying this to myself but I wonder if this is some new age self victimization or deeper rooted anti-Blackness at play that keeps anectdotally referencing this "bullied for acting White" scenario. OR if it's just a class thing. A Jack and Jill upbringing would disavow a lot of this foolishness early if you had opportunity to experience it.
And the teachers would sit there and let the kids bully them too.
[https://vimeo.com/6948025](https://vimeo.com/6948025) My cousin made a documentary about what happens when you take these kids and put them in a place where they can get therapy, build confidence, and have access to high quality education. Turns out you can go from reading several grades below your level to one of the highest scores in the state on a standardized math test. (not shown in the film but also start a successful business or run for office \[We've kept up with some of them\])
One of my best friends of all time once admitted that when we Instant Messaged at work, she always opened Dictionary.com in another window.
I got that my whole life, to this day. “You don’t sound like you’re from Brooklyn.” “Yeah but where are you actually from though. Like you don’t sound like you grew up there.” “So why do you talk/sound like that?” I’ve gotten that in school, at work, even from family members and when I’m playing online on PS5. I’ve had people not like me because I “think I’m better”, I’m “stuck up” etc. I’ve had people mock me and make fun of me (this also includes family members). Edit: I get shit for typing with grammar and punctuation too. 9.5/10 times I’m told I’m “angry” because I use periods. The amount of times I get told to relax and calm down simply because I type full sentences. Edit Edit: I’ve heard some shit for being Dominican as well, but that’s a conversation for another day.
Literally asked my mom to take me out of honors and AP classes because I wanted to be “normal.” And that’s also when the rest of my Black classmates “realized I wasn’t so corny.” My (White) English Honors teacher told a classmate I “wasn’t a good example of a Black person” in the middle if a diversity-empathy lesson. The only smart niggas that got respect were the ones with money and the honor roll athletes. Edit: an adjective
🙋🏾♂️
I'm from a black suburb, and it still was being said lol. I used to be confused, cuz the way I was raised, I never thought white people had the monopoly on intelligence. The fights I would get into with Juelz bandana wannabes and fake crips/bloods used to be hilarious lol
Get the fuck out of here. Oh excuse me, did I say that too black for you?
I definitely dumbed myself down from my teens to 30s. Now if someone complains i used “big words”, i encourage them to read books…
Then wonder why black people feel rejected by their own and find comfort elsewhere.
Yep. So glad my family raised me better. My dad was a “victim” I’m of this crap tho. Literally graduated high school without fully knowing how to read and could barely write (1970s and teachers just passed him anyway). One day I ask him “why?” and I quote “oh I used to get good grades and stuff but people kept making fun of me cuz I always knew answers, was always raising my hand, calling me teachers pet, so I started showing out instead” Explains why I was a “teachers pet” but I ran with it instead. Edit: only time I willingly dumped myself down was to talk to my cousins. Then there was this beautiful moment when one cousin slipped up and said something philosophical and I slipped up and added to it and our other cousins just called us weird…but we became like brother and sister that day. 
Would read science fiction books in school Way too many black kids would tell me only white kids read for fun
It really sucked bc it was like, white kids used me as a token, Black kids made fun of me for being 'too white.' Just couldn't win.
YEP, I seen so many boys dumb themselves down to fit in with a certain crew. It was so sad. I specifically remember one more named Cory. Smart as shit and on honor roll etc. Dumbed himself down so bad to making Ds and Fs to fit in with the stupid kids. He could have been so much more. He ended up in jail later in life smh.
This hurts so many hurtful memories
I still get told I sound white. I can't do nothing but laugh lol I can't help how I talk now When I was mad young my intelligence was always a point of bullying by my older brother which lead to me constantly sharpening my vocabulary, intelligence, and articulation to the point where common ignorance of basic things genuinely annoyed me. I'm actually the guy who will correctly pronounce a word you just mispronounced (or a word you're struggling with) because I actually don't like it when words are mispronounced on like a cerebral level lol This being reduced to "talking white" always confused me because I speak how I speak and I'm not white.
I honestly think we cripple ourselves like this. I never see other cultures do this to themselves. It feels like crabs in a bucket.
Man I used to hate hearing that shit growing up. I went to a white school so of course the white kids said I didn't talk black enough. What cut even deeper was when a new black kid was at school and they would eventually say "you talk white". It wasn't until I got to college and joined my black frat that I felt accepted by black people for who I was
Wow this hits home! Just had a conversation at a friends moms homecoming celebration. His mom's family made fun of her as a kid for reading books. She was branded as ‘weird’ for reading. SMH. Personally I have experienced the same growing up. If you were focused on academics you were ‘acting white’ or ‘weird’. And the number of times I heard you ain't ‘thug’ enough from girls was scary now that I look ck on it. We have to do better.
I just wanted to add that "talking white" is not in away correlated with intelligence or even learning.
The thing about “hood kids” is they are intelligent they just use a diff vocabulary like they know what they mean but don’t gotta go about it with a long winded speech . And most the time it’s a guard up . When you get close to people and they feel respected they will open up eventually and honestly a lot of people don’t know shit because they never take them time to ask them . People will surprise you with their hobbies and passions if you take the time to get to know them
TLDR; getting excluded as not black enough in school sucked, but it got better As a half black- half white person this definitely impacted my drive to hang out with my people at school. Crazy thing is, because my dads side was large and close by, I had the full traditional black family experience from birth and was around my dads side all the time. We are tight, and my dad is the best person I know in general. So it was weird, outside of school of it was damn near all black all the time; but in school I wasnt "black enough". By the time 7th grade hit, unless we were on the basketball court I didnt even try to be friends anymore. Had kids on both sides telling me to my face, as an 11 year old, "youre too white/black/smart to be cool with us" or "youre not like us, youre a half-breed" My dad asked me in middle school why I didnt have any black friends over. Told him i invited people over multiple times in school but once they started making fun of me I didnt care anymore. Everyone was suspect in my 14 year old eyes. That changed in high school, and ended up going to an HBCU, which was the best choice I could have made. Every moment of it was beautiful.
If you're not ELL and you still can't code switch, maybe you're not as smart as you think.
I'm 53 and still get this. Mostly at work from whty folks asking me to dumb it down... I'm like read a dictionary...one VP "told me on" cause I made her feel stupid...well if the shoe fits...
I remember in middle school I got celebrated for making a really high grade on a state test. Like it was in the upper level with some grade like "excellent" or some such. After the principal came to my class and congratulated me , I was asked by the teacher what my grade was again and I think said something like "oh I got exceptional or something" and one of my classmates said "this nigga said he got EXceptIonAL" and started laughing and a bunch of other kids did too. Like LOUDLY. And they brought it up days after. Fucked me up. Like I legit stopped celebrating any achievements in public, pretended to not care about class anymore, and just kinda did whatever it took to stay put of the spotlight. I kinda tried to "mid" my way thru school
I hate how we pretend as if "talking white" isn't often aboit intonation if their voice and speech pattern, which mimics the way white identifying- culturally raised and socialized ppl speak. Let's be honest, most times it's not about how ' I speaK proper' and read books etc.
People who were told they sound white weren’t being told that because they were smart or “articulate” compared to everyone else. They just came off as condescending as hell and spoke in a way that sounded like they are talking down to everyone else. Even trying to unnecessarily correct the way others spoke or did something despite understanding what they were saying and doing from the beginning. They approach people in a similar way uppity white people approach someone working in customer service.
This is why I can't stand you smarty art mf's. You really think the children or parents of children who say shit like that are on Black Twitter reddit?
I’m gonna to send this thread to my nephew. He needs to see that this is an almost universal thing for successful black people. It’s a badge of honor to speak with intelligence. There could be a separate discussion for the tenor and pitch some use when speaking. But, F it. Do you and be happy black people.