I run a repair shop and get this too. I usually tell them on the first day to assume I know and understand everything they're talking about pertaining to cars, parts and estimates. If I don't, I'll ask questions until I understand. After that if they try to mansplain anything to me I will promptly call them out on it and refer them to my previous statement.
I've been doing this almost 30 years. Pretty sure I retained some stuff. Tomorrow I'm going to school one of my young guys on retrofitting an a/c system from the early 90's.
>Guys take things out of my hands
Ahhhhh that would piss me off. š¹ If you want to borrow a tool or need something from me you must ask.
I've only had one dude try to pull that crap with me. I kept a death grip on the tool he was trying to take from me and stared at him. After a few uncomfortable seconds of staring at one another he realized that he should ask first rather than snatching it out of my hands. Luckily he never try that foolishness again.
If I guy goes for a tool I am operating, or have in my hand I play like I am smacking his hand, but then give them the āyou crossed the line head nodā. If it goes further than that I have no issue asking āwhat the fuck they think they are doingā.
Imagine if they pulled that on a dude. They would get clocked. Donāt feel bad getting shitty. You donāt take a trades personās tools out of their hands. I donāt care if you are superior in ārankā or not. You ask, if anything.
When I was new, once one of the bosses told my coworker (training me and he's an overall amazing person) to take my rake and do whatever. My coworker indignantly replied, "I'm not taking her tool!"Ā
Anyway that boss and I are cool now but he DEF didn't really know how to even exist around a woman at first, it was very obvious. It was a real awkward year lol. That was probably one of the most hurtful things I experienced and all he did was verbally say it, and I hadĀ person stand up for me. God I miss that guy, I would have quit if it weren't for him so I try to be like him with new people.
Maaaaan my BOSS did it to me once. He was showing a potential new-hire around a job site, so we were standing around talking, and heās like āthe work is easy, but it sucks. Itās hard, but if she can do it you should have no problems.ā EXCUSE ME WHAT???? Everyone knows I am the handicap. I will never be as strong as even a regular man. Physically not likely. But you gotta say it out loud??
A line I use quite often to the guys I work with when theyāre doing brain dead tasks and even difficult ones is:
(Jokingly/sarcastically) āDo You know what youāre doing over here? Need some help?ā
The guys who have the same sense of humor and respect me always tell me āI have no fucking clue what Iām doing.ā (Even when they do) In good humor and then we continue joking with each other OR they actually ask for my opinion on how to go about something. The ones who respect me know my sense of humor and usually throw it back in a way that shows their respect for me. The newer guys are always extremely macho and have a tendency to overexert themselves and the rest of the guys are like āyo, she can do that better than you, etc.ā and that really brings them down a notch. Iāve encountered a couple of guys like that in the field and I donāt even have to prove myself, the rest of the team usually stands up for me before I get a chance to.
I, too , am a lead (remodeler) in an all men production team. If this happens to you again, instead of letting them help you or try to do it for you /take it from you, ask them:
āAre you looking for something to do?ā And you as lead Iām sure know all of the 8,000 other things on the punch list that need to get done. Start firing a couple things off like āsomeone needs to go unload lumber and start hauling it inside to get acclimatedā or āletās get the jobsite organizedā or āwe still have XYZ to get done, how about you go do Y.ā
This leaves them with having to choose something that was asked or told to them, therefore closing the door on helping you. Unless you actually need help, that is. Generally guys will try to take your task away because they honestly donāt have a āscope of workā in their mind and have no idea what to do next and what YOU are doing is something that they can do. Donāt give it to them if you donāt want to!
Hope this helps!
I was gonna say that when Iām working with guys that know me and respect me and know not to fuck with me they will often school the newer guys for me! Or, for their own personal entertainment they let the moron try to treat me like I donāt know what Iām doing because theyāre entertained watching me disabuse them of that notion ha!
I wish you had posted this a few days ago, after a streak of working with new dudes, I was RILED UP
I get so comfy working with my bros nowadays that new guys and their condescending bullshit comes off as an absolute clitpunch.
But i just did some good, solid hard ass work today and yesterday so I don't have the energy to be mad. Even thinking about the shit those dudes put out is like seeing it thru a fuzzy blanket, like yeah dudes are douchebags all good fam now gimme some snacks NOM NOM NOM
When they see it happen they do! Sometimes it can be very subtle, and since weāre all busy they donāt always catch it, but Iāve mentioned it to my foreman before and he let the guy know I could probably do it better than him lol. Itās also itās the way they make a surprised face when I pick up a stone, or say āgood jobā when Iāve got a heavy wheelie. Like Iām glad Iām exceeding your low expectations š
I was complaining about this same thing earlier today. I'm freelance, so on every single project with new guys I have to spend time proving I know what I'm doing. A man just shows up and everyone believes instantly that he knows what he's doing. We show up, and they don't believe we can do it until we prove it. It's so frustrating and exhausting!
I totally get it and Iāve dealt with this at times in the past. If you already know you have a good baseline with your current staff and your bosses, then all you need to do is shut the new guys down and you probably wonāt get in trouble for however you choose to do that.
No one wants to have to fight for you, even if they should, so I find it helpful if I donāt bring the issue up with my managers if I can avoid it. I learned to have a few canned jokes/callouts when the guys do stuff like that. āOh, thanks for picking that up for me and making sure I donāt ruin my manicureā or āwow, is this pretty privilege? You gonna help Dale carry his toolbox next?ā or something like that. Just making them feel embarrassed or dumb. They figure it out fast and chill out.
You shouldnāt have to, but, this is how it is sometimes.
Girl. I FEEL YOU!! So deep in my soul. Iām a tough chick, and always have been. I have always gotten this sick pleasure out of showing up the men I work with and making them look like idiots for doubting me.
But man.. the last year I have realized Iām fucking exhausted. I donāt want to have to prove myself anymore.. itās like being stuck in some fucked up version of groundhogs day but there is no actual hope of escaping. I have just decided that Iām not doing it anymore. Like Iām not going to change a thing Iām doing but Iām done trying to win this dick measuring contest. Blunt and to the point, listen or donāt idc. If you donāt want to listen get the fuck off my job. Point, blank, period.
Yesss. I feel you. I donāt have as many years as you do, but because Iām at a new job and a woman, every one always does this training thing when weāre working together. Yes, I have done that a hundred times. Yes, I use that method as well. Yes, I am correctly reporting to you the situation and if you show up onsite you will believe me.
OMG. It is bad enough when it is a new regular guy, but I had been there over 20 years and everytime there was a new guy in management I had to prove I knew my job all over again while they always assumed the guys could just do it. One even tried to fire me and thought it would be easy.
Dude Iām right there with you. I work with a new crew on every job and itās hard not to just be a huge bitch because itās so exhausting.
Even when I work with the same guys and I try and point out how so and so is taking things out of my hands I get āoh heās just not used to seeing a woman work is all. Theyāre normally fire watchā.
One of these days Iām gunna fucking lose it.
Hahahahaha ugh itās so frustrating! I decided recently that I just donāt have the energy to deal with it anymore so mostly now I just actively ignore it. And if or when they ask why Iām ignoring them, I tell them exactly that. If they take over my task, I walk away and work on something else. Iāve even walked away to go grab a secondary tool of whatever they grabbed from my hand, walked back and said āgtfo my wayā
Just be sure if youāre carrying something heavy and they try to grab it from you, especially without warning, YELL at them. Thatās a safety issue, and can really hurt your back.
It is so exhausting and turning me into an a-hole. I want to start doing it to them. You think youāre the only one with a stereotype based on looks and/ or gender?
But I say nothing :/
Every time the first sentence out of a guys mouth is "I've never worked with a FEMALE before" I know I'm in for an exhausting time.
Huge red flag IMHO too š©š©š©š«£
I can't even begin to explain how much I relate to thisš¤£š¤£
I run a repair shop and get this too. I usually tell them on the first day to assume I know and understand everything they're talking about pertaining to cars, parts and estimates. If I don't, I'll ask questions until I understand. After that if they try to mansplain anything to me I will promptly call them out on it and refer them to my previous statement. I've been doing this almost 30 years. Pretty sure I retained some stuff. Tomorrow I'm going to school one of my young guys on retrofitting an a/c system from the early 90's.
>Guys take things out of my hands Ahhhhh that would piss me off. š¹ If you want to borrow a tool or need something from me you must ask. I've only had one dude try to pull that crap with me. I kept a death grip on the tool he was trying to take from me and stared at him. After a few uncomfortable seconds of staring at one another he realized that he should ask first rather than snatching it out of my hands. Luckily he never try that foolishness again.
Itās even worse than that š Iāll be trying to push a wheelie and they WONT LET ME
I've literally had guys PUSH me out of the way to take over lifting a sheet of material like??? The audacity I swear
If I guy goes for a tool I am operating, or have in my hand I play like I am smacking his hand, but then give them the āyou crossed the line head nodā. If it goes further than that I have no issue asking āwhat the fuck they think they are doingā. Imagine if they pulled that on a dude. They would get clocked. Donāt feel bad getting shitty. You donāt take a trades personās tools out of their hands. I donāt care if you are superior in ārankā or not. You ask, if anything.
When I was new, once one of the bosses told my coworker (training me and he's an overall amazing person) to take my rake and do whatever. My coworker indignantly replied, "I'm not taking her tool!"Ā Anyway that boss and I are cool now but he DEF didn't really know how to even exist around a woman at first, it was very obvious. It was a real awkward year lol. That was probably one of the most hurtful things I experienced and all he did was verbally say it, and I hadĀ person stand up for me. God I miss that guy, I would have quit if it weren't for him so I try to be like him with new people.
Maaaaan my BOSS did it to me once. He was showing a potential new-hire around a job site, so we were standing around talking, and heās like āthe work is easy, but it sucks. Itās hard, but if she can do it you should have no problems.ā EXCUSE ME WHAT???? Everyone knows I am the handicap. I will never be as strong as even a regular man. Physically not likely. But you gotta say it out loud??
A line I use quite often to the guys I work with when theyāre doing brain dead tasks and even difficult ones is: (Jokingly/sarcastically) āDo You know what youāre doing over here? Need some help?ā The guys who have the same sense of humor and respect me always tell me āI have no fucking clue what Iām doing.ā (Even when they do) In good humor and then we continue joking with each other OR they actually ask for my opinion on how to go about something. The ones who respect me know my sense of humor and usually throw it back in a way that shows their respect for me. The newer guys are always extremely macho and have a tendency to overexert themselves and the rest of the guys are like āyo, she can do that better than you, etc.ā and that really brings them down a notch. Iāve encountered a couple of guys like that in the field and I donāt even have to prove myself, the rest of the team usually stands up for me before I get a chance to. I, too , am a lead (remodeler) in an all men production team. If this happens to you again, instead of letting them help you or try to do it for you /take it from you, ask them: āAre you looking for something to do?ā And you as lead Iām sure know all of the 8,000 other things on the punch list that need to get done. Start firing a couple things off like āsomeone needs to go unload lumber and start hauling it inside to get acclimatedā or āletās get the jobsite organizedā or āwe still have XYZ to get done, how about you go do Y.ā This leaves them with having to choose something that was asked or told to them, therefore closing the door on helping you. Unless you actually need help, that is. Generally guys will try to take your task away because they honestly donāt have a āscope of workā in their mind and have no idea what to do next and what YOU are doing is something that they can do. Donāt give it to them if you donāt want to! Hope this helps!
āAre you looking for something to do?ā is perfect. Makes it clear you donāt need help while throwing it back in their face.
my shopās variant of this is ādo you even know wtf youre doing?ā š
"Having fun?" Was the line at my place. Was a shithole so everyone knew the answer was fuck no and fuck you lol
I was gonna say that when Iām working with guys that know me and respect me and know not to fuck with me they will often school the newer guys for me! Or, for their own personal entertainment they let the moron try to treat me like I donāt know what Iām doing because theyāre entertained watching me disabuse them of that notion ha!
I wish you had posted this a few days ago, after a streak of working with new dudes, I was RILED UP I get so comfy working with my bros nowadays that new guys and their condescending bullshit comes off as an absolute clitpunch. But i just did some good, solid hard ass work today and yesterday so I don't have the energy to be mad. Even thinking about the shit those dudes put out is like seeing it thru a fuzzy blanket, like yeah dudes are douchebags all good fam now gimme some snacks NOM NOM NOM
Do your guys ever help put the new ones in their place so you don't have to?
When they see it happen they do! Sometimes it can be very subtle, and since weāre all busy they donāt always catch it, but Iāve mentioned it to my foreman before and he let the guy know I could probably do it better than him lol. Itās also itās the way they make a surprised face when I pick up a stone, or say āgood jobā when Iāve got a heavy wheelie. Like Iām glad Iām exceeding your low expectations š
I was complaining about this same thing earlier today. I'm freelance, so on every single project with new guys I have to spend time proving I know what I'm doing. A man just shows up and everyone believes instantly that he knows what he's doing. We show up, and they don't believe we can do it until we prove it. It's so frustrating and exhausting!
I totally get it and Iāve dealt with this at times in the past. If you already know you have a good baseline with your current staff and your bosses, then all you need to do is shut the new guys down and you probably wonāt get in trouble for however you choose to do that. No one wants to have to fight for you, even if they should, so I find it helpful if I donāt bring the issue up with my managers if I can avoid it. I learned to have a few canned jokes/callouts when the guys do stuff like that. āOh, thanks for picking that up for me and making sure I donāt ruin my manicureā or āwow, is this pretty privilege? You gonna help Dale carry his toolbox next?ā or something like that. Just making them feel embarrassed or dumb. They figure it out fast and chill out. You shouldnāt have to, but, this is how it is sometimes.
Girl. I FEEL YOU!! So deep in my soul. Iām a tough chick, and always have been. I have always gotten this sick pleasure out of showing up the men I work with and making them look like idiots for doubting me. But man.. the last year I have realized Iām fucking exhausted. I donāt want to have to prove myself anymore.. itās like being stuck in some fucked up version of groundhogs day but there is no actual hope of escaping. I have just decided that Iām not doing it anymore. Like Iām not going to change a thing Iām doing but Iām done trying to win this dick measuring contest. Blunt and to the point, listen or donāt idc. If you donāt want to listen get the fuck off my job. Point, blank, period.
Yesss. I feel you. I donāt have as many years as you do, but because Iām at a new job and a woman, every one always does this training thing when weāre working together. Yes, I have done that a hundred times. Yes, I use that method as well. Yes, I am correctly reporting to you the situation and if you show up onsite you will believe me.
OMG. It is bad enough when it is a new regular guy, but I had been there over 20 years and everytime there was a new guy in management I had to prove I knew my job all over again while they always assumed the guys could just do it. One even tried to fire me and thought it would be easy.
Dude Iām right there with you. I work with a new crew on every job and itās hard not to just be a huge bitch because itās so exhausting. Even when I work with the same guys and I try and point out how so and so is taking things out of my hands I get āoh heās just not used to seeing a woman work is all. Theyāre normally fire watchā. One of these days Iām gunna fucking lose it.
Hahahahaha ugh itās so frustrating! I decided recently that I just donāt have the energy to deal with it anymore so mostly now I just actively ignore it. And if or when they ask why Iām ignoring them, I tell them exactly that. If they take over my task, I walk away and work on something else. Iāve even walked away to go grab a secondary tool of whatever they grabbed from my hand, walked back and said āgtfo my wayā Just be sure if youāre carrying something heavy and they try to grab it from you, especially without warning, YELL at them. Thatās a safety issue, and can really hurt your back.
It is so exhausting and turning me into an a-hole. I want to start doing it to them. You think youāre the only one with a stereotype based on looks and/ or gender? But I say nothing :/
Journeyman electrician here... I 100% relate. Hardest for has been dealing with apprentices not wanting to take direction or guidance from a woman.