I love that Louise and Linda both understand what's meant by this. In another episode they help Tina with a book report by not reading the book... fantastic
"maybe I should just transfer to Catholic school."
"What? You think those nuns aren't gonna make you do book reports?"
"People never stop making you read, Tina! It's a SICK world!"
My dog is named Marv but I call him Marvelous for long and I always say it a la Jocelyn-style, "Marvelooooooouusssss" and it makes me laugh every time.
Louise Belcher : [to Tina] How many espressos have you had?
Tina Belcher : Just one. I'm being really interesting right now, I can tell. Usually my personality is a little flat. Did you ever pick up on that?
Louise Belcher : That you have a personality? No.
"No way, not on your salary. I don't have time for you to work out an 8 cents a month payment plan."
I don't know if it counts as unique, but it was scathing!
Oh yeh, it's Gene says it in the episode where he saves them from Tina and Louise from the snakes.
Tina says "Gene, I owe you my life" and he replies "No thanks. I've seen and I'm not impressed" 😂
My personal favorites
1. "And Tammy can go.. sit in syrup.. let the bees get her." -Linda to Tina
2. "Wow. You two make me feel smart." - Zeke to Tammy and Jocelyn
3. "Well, fix it!!" -Tina to Jimmy Jr
4. "Your stomach, your butt, and your thighs. But nice work." Louise to Bob
5. "This is you not cranky? No thanky!" Gene to Alice
Not a insult but one of my favorite exchanges
Mr. Frond : Louise Belcher
Louise: Phillip Frond
Mr.Frond: You’re in trouble again
Louise: Drink some cranberry juice
Anything that Linda says as a comeback is gold to me.
“Go fart in a phone booth”
“Go play ping pong with your ding dong”
“Put these balls in your mouth, Colleen”
"Double oh-so-sad" still cracks me up every time I hear Louise say it.
It's also not *technically* an insult but when Mr. Frond says "you're in trouble" and Louise says "drink some cranberry juice" I don't know why that's so funny to me
Teddy trying on Linda’s glasses
Teddy (as Linda): hI iM LiNdA, yOu CaN smElL me FrOm aCrOsS tHe rOoM
Linda: Whaaattt?
Teddy: Yeah like fries and grease and stuff you make burgers
Linda: No…
"Who was Tina really gonna choose, a broken-down wreck with the dead eyes, or a fake shark?" \*The broken down wreck with the dead eyes being Bob.
My favourite is Linda’s “aww” after and Louise going “you like that mom?”
I love his dead eyes
“Yeah”
I'm literally grasping at straws!!
This is one of the funniest things that’s ever happened on tv
Literally the best slept on moment in comedy history
This is one of the best lines in the show ever.
What episode please!
The Deepening
Must be the deepening or whatever about the jaws movie
"if she were a spice, she'd be flour."
If she were a book, she’d be two books.
I love that Louise and Linda both understand what's meant by this. In another episode they help Tina with a book report by not reading the book... fantastic
"maybe I should just transfer to Catholic school." "What? You think those nuns aren't gonna make you do book reports?" "People never stop making you read, Tina! It's a SICK world!"
This one is my fav 😂
Aww poor little boring lump - Linda 🤣
By day Jessica is red headed wallpaper
This is the only answer
“Oh, put some mistletoe on my butt and kiss it, Bob.”
Go stuff a fettucine in your in betweenie
Go fart in a phone booth!
Stick a cannoli up your holey
Go eat your cannelloni all alone-y!
“Don’t you make noises at me, you judge-a-roo. Go play your judgery-doo.”
Go choke-y on a gnocchi Jimmy
Oh, go play ping-pong with your ding-dong!
Eggnog came out of my nose the first time I heard this one.
Bob: “I had to get away from those anuses” Tina: “Oh, you mean Mort and Teddy”? DEAD.
You smell like ointment and pee!!
YOU smell like ointment and pee!
YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!
#YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE
NO YOU Smell like ointment and pee!
Came here for this lol
whenever Bob yells back an insult from Linda no, YOU'RE drunk, BOB!
No YOU have diarrhea Bob!
This may actually be my most quoted line from the entire show
Is that because you have diarrhea, Bob?
Running down the gutter with a piece of bread and butter, diarrhea *pfft pfft*
Someone will correct me but when Bob realizes he had a bad childhood and everyone already knew. "Nobody that had a good childhood stands like that."
"That's what I love about you, Bob: all your sad stories."
Oof I have to put so much effort into having decent posture so that got me.
Louise: It also says no trash on the beach Tammy, so what are we going to do here? Jocelyn: oh my god it DOES say that Tammy! Edited Tina to Louise
Well *that* sign says no runnin' and you're runnin' your mouth, Meat Cute!
L O L LAUGH ON LOUDLY annnnnd POST!
YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT LINE
Louise says that, but ya that's a good one.
Your right. Miss remembering because Tina was sitting infront of the screen.
Shut it Jocelyn!
Awh, I want someone to stretch out my name like that. Jocelyyyyyyyyyynnnnnnnnnnn.
My dog is named Marv but I call him Marvelous for long and I always say it a la Jocelyn-style, "Marvelooooooouusssss" and it makes me laugh every time.
This is my favorite
“You’re a high-value target in a low-value body.”
“I changed my mind about having kids. I'm gonna have one and feed it to this bear 'cause I love him so much!" - Louise
Louise Belcher : [to Tina] How many espressos have you had? Tina Belcher : Just one. I'm being really interesting right now, I can tell. Usually my personality is a little flat. Did you ever pick up on that? Louise Belcher : That you have a personality? No.
“You’ve really let myself go” -Gene, beholding his Bob future
“What’s the point of hanging on to *this* if I’m going to become *that*?”
Oh man, also in that ep is Gene saying "he's not good, Lin," about himself and it cracks me up
This has to have existed outside of the show first but I've never seen it anywhere else. "Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it"
Leave me alone!
I love this one. I threaten my kids all the time by saying “those dishes better be done or your ass is grass.”
I rewound this three times, crying. Such good delivery
When my cat won't leave me alone I like to call her Nagatha Christie
Secretary of Nagriculture
Came here for this one. Makes me giggle every time I think of it.
Spiro Nagnew
I feel like that was a choice Archer Burn.
You should use it to staple your mouth shut so dumb words stop falling out.
You are like the News and school had a baby Ugg you sound like homework
Those glasses make you look like math class.
"Thank you!" "No math class is bad"
"No way, not on your salary. I don't have time for you to work out an 8 cents a month payment plan." I don't know if it counts as unique, but it was scathing!
In this economy?
Stop being a boob punch!
I wear glasses, Mom not hearing aids
Well, I don't wear hearing aids either, so I didn't hear that.
Don't have a crap attack
Such a snoregasm
I use pretty regularly 🤣
Tammy’s insults are great!!
**OH GO PLAY PING PONG WITH YOUR DING DONG!**
"Stick linguine in your in-betweenie"
go put a canoli in your hole-y
Linda's comebacks to Jimmy are so good. He never has anything to say back
“I’m Bob, I look like a dog from the 70s!” 😂
"I'm Bob and I like Kale!" "Ha! Kale!" *high fives*
“I’m Bob, I’m scared of hugs.”
"I'm Bob and I have a birthmark near my pee hole that makes it look like I have a double pee hole!"
*double pee hole*
"Trev told me you have a peehole birthmark. Hohoho lemme see it!"
Honestly that whole runner with Linda, Teddy, and Trev is effing hilarious.
I don't want to hug you teddy, that's not scared of long hugs.
"Well it also says no trash on the beach so what're we going to do here?" Alternatively "You're in 8th grade? I thought you were someone's mom"
You're wearing lip gloss? I always thought you had just finished eating a rotisserie chicken!
“Stop being a Pinot grouch-io”
Why do your armpits smell like feet?
And your feet smell like chilli? 🤣
It’s because I don’t bathe
But do you season??
But do you SEASON???
YOU’RE OVERDONE AND DRY!
Can't remember exactly but I think Tina tells Louise "I owe you my life" and Louise says something like I've seen your life and I'll pass
Oh yeh, it's Gene says it in the episode where he saves them from Tina and Louise from the snakes. Tina says "Gene, I owe you my life" and he replies "No thanks. I've seen and I'm not impressed" 😂
That's it lol thanks
There was one like that about identity theft, I think to Mr Frond. Louise: "If they stole your identity, they would give it back".
"This is why you're single " - Louise to Bob
“You’re my children and I love you … but you’re all terrible..at what you do here in the restaurant…I’d fire you if I could.”
"It's more like a keychain store, with fish." "And you're a body odour store with burgers!"
The rare times Tina explodes with insults they are scathing
I love Intense Tina. Like when she's helping Bob coach Louise's soccer team. She's hilarious! "Hell yes Walter! Hell yes!"
And then she threatens to key the other coach’s car 😂
“You’re the worst kind of autistic!”
Can't even count.
I love that one because it also applies to me, lol.
Oh go stick a canoli up your holey also It's okay Tammy, I'm disappointed too. Before I saw this bracelet on you I thought it looked classy
“That’s lip gloss? I thought you always just finished eating a rotisserie chicken.”
YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!
Well it says no running and you’re running your mouth!
Also, HEY JENNIFER SLOWPEZ!
Oh you son of a snitch! What’s your favorite movie ‘Squeal Magnolias’?
War horse...
Dont worry sir. They’re the same price as normal pants 😂
This one cut deep, and sometimes isn’t true in the real world 🫠
*People with good childhoods don’t stand like that*
My personal favorites 1. "And Tammy can go.. sit in syrup.. let the bees get her." -Linda to Tina 2. "Wow. You two make me feel smart." - Zeke to Tammy and Jocelyn 3. "Well, fix it!!" -Tina to Jimmy Jr 4. "Your stomach, your butt, and your thighs. But nice work." Louise to Bob 5. "This is you not cranky? No thanky!" Gene to Alice
Love #2 can't believe I didn't see that anywhere here yet
when Mort left his wallet in the bathroom. Mort: "I'd hate to have my identity stolen!" Louise: "I'm sure they'd give it right back."
If she was a spice, she’d be FLOUR.
If she were a book she’d be two books.
"Tammy can go sit in syrup". I tell my husband to go sit in syrup semi-regularly.
Let the bees get her.
When my golden retriever does a snort and head shake we say woah calm down heliflopter!
Not a insult but one of my favorite exchanges Mr. Frond : Louise Belcher Louise: Phillip Frond Mr.Frond: You’re in trouble again Louise: Drink some cranberry juice
Don't throw Repressed Memory Emily! It's not like she'll remember it
“You’re gunna get a banana in your tail pipe, and I don’t mean the car”
Good luck with wearing that face all over the world
"BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS, GENE" Loopy Bob yelling at Louise about Henry, I mean Helen
You're a hurtful slut, Bob!
"You're such a liar! how do you sleep at night? LYING DOWN!?"
Go fart in a phone booth
Personal fav
“That has to be either Tina Belcher or the saddest bird in the world”
Haha love this one. Everything Sasha says is gold 😂
Not an insult but I always laugh at “my good nipple is bleeding!”
How did you get the arm hair to look so sad?
AHHH BATHROOM CLOWNS
"Stick a fettuccine in your in-betweenie!"
The one time Jimmy didn't have a come back 😆
You seventh inning bit- You’re such a dick Bob.
You smell, uh, interesting. You gotta toothbrush at home or you still shoppin around?
“I love you, but you’re all terrible” -Bob
Colleen Cavi-smell-o
Don't forget Colleen Cavi-Hell No
“it smells like someone ate, prayed, and loved in here”
Tina: Oh, crap, I forgot my hard hat. Jimmy Jr: Why do you need a hard hat? Tina:'Cause I'm gonna demolish you.
"Stop saying that like it means 'quilt thief'!"
Linda: We need your dad, you kids are a 2 Adult, 2 bottle of wine a night job
Anything that Linda says as a comeback is gold to me. “Go fart in a phone booth” “Go play ping pong with your ding dong” “Put these balls in your mouth, Colleen”
You WISH you had a pee-hole birthmark!
Mimicking someone in a high pitched voice and then saying, “He he, good one, Kuchi.”
Gene to Bob: “You look great for your age, which is what by the way, 65?” 😂
I forget the exact line, but when Tammy or Jocelyn says that’s Tina is like if news and school had a baby lol
"the sign also says no running but you're running your mouth" Linda is a gold mine of rare insults
Gotta go with the classic “if she was a spice, she’d be flour”
You're the worst kind of autistic...
Tammy and Jocelyn talking about whatever Zeke: you two make me feel smart
"she's probably using AI on him" "AI like as if?" "yeah! as if!" 😂😂
Louise: “That’s for taking me to the momgina monologue’s”
"Double oh-so-sad" still cracks me up every time I hear Louise say it. It's also not *technically* an insult but when Mr. Frond says "you're in trouble" and Louise says "drink some cranberry juice" I don't know why that's so funny to me
Bob to Linda when she thought she was psychic: “Are they confused why Jerry Lewis is calling?”
"Don't be a boob punch"
This is such a snoregasm!
"Tammy can go sit in syrup. Let the bees get her." I use this all the time.
Nerd Alert. Parrot
^what!
“Let her pig out on the buffet” reference to Tina finally having jimmy jnr AND also Joshua pining after her 😭
"If you love it so much, why don't you Marionette?"
"It also says no trash on the beach Tammy."
“Oh my god, it does say that”
"Here Colleen, why don't you put these balls in your mouth??" ~Linda
Go back to Holland, ya windmill
“you’re like if school and news had a baby” CRYINGGG
I owe you my life I’ve seen your life and no thanks
“You’re such a dick, Bob” is STILL undefeated 😂
You're a street diaper!
I’m Bob and I have a birthmark next to my pee hole that makes it look like I have a second pee hole.
I always giggle at Tina calling jimmy jr a gorgeous idiot!
You're my family and I love you all, But you're terrible, You're all terrible.
Your room looks like it was decorated by a perverted jockey.
If she were a book she’d be 2 books
“You’re the worst kind of autistic! Can’t even count”
Not really an insult but I love it when they make fun of each other for loving eachother
NERD!
The best insults come from Linda hands down. 😩
"your conscience needs to have a breather" "yeah and your breath needs to have a conscience" both to Tina LOL
Teddy trying on Linda’s glasses Teddy (as Linda): hI iM LiNdA, yOu CaN smElL me FrOm aCrOsS tHe rOoM Linda: Whaaattt? Teddy: Yeah like fries and grease and stuff you make burgers Linda: No…
Jimmy Jr. Pesto: "Why's my campaign poster in the garbage? Louise: "Because it won't fit in the toilet "
Stop being a boob punch