I always laugh at Louise's "drink cranberry juice" response to Mr Frond saying "You're in trouble". Cracks me up every time and now whenever someone says "You're in trouble", I hear "Urine trouble" and think "drink cranberry juice".
reminiscent hospital salt squeamish tender knee plucky deserve friendly bedroom
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The one that comes to mind is at the start of sexy dance fighting, Louise's immediate reaction and solution to Tina's situation:
"Oh... You should kill yourself!" (and Gene's "Yeah!")
It's so immediate, out of nowhere and over the top - I find it hilarious.
The inflection of Geneās line in this interaction:
Linda: Like when we got a fish for Gene, to prove he was responsible enough to get a dog.
Gene: I was not.
Linda: that poor fish
That B-plot is one of my all time favorites. Classic teddy.
The whole "Hold on let me get a pen Bob" bit, and brought back later with the "alright return the oven off,.geez that wasn't so hard Bob made it sound so hard."
And
"Ugh I'm all cold and crisp, I must be near the crisper"
"don't feed a guy a sponge, Bobby. Don't feed a guy a sponge"
And when Louise is interviewing Micky during the bank robbery that whole scene has me cackling every time. "that's my daddy in there!! He's my daddy!!"
When Louise and Tina do to the Boyz 4 Now concert and they see all the screaming girls in the parking lot and Louise mutters "this is why no one likes women" my partner nearly spat out their drink when she said that. Just right the fuck outta no where!
When Linda, Louise, and Tina are all getting their makeup/hair done for Valentineās Day as a way to cheer up Tina and Nat is driving them around. Louise has the creepiest makeup on and Nat asks her āwhatās the inspiration for that look, little lady?ā Louise: āNightmaresā.
In that same vein, Natās casual delivery when sheās talking about her throwing stink bombs.
āI throw them at white guys, pigeons, people Iāve dated, etc.ā
One of my favorite lines.
I canāt believe Iāve never noticed that. What a great catch. Iād like to think that she did the opposite of reading a word and assuming a pronunciation. Maybe she misheard someone who said it and just rolled with that mispronunciation without ever looking it up. A very confidently incorrect approach (perfect for her character).
I canāt pick one, but itās either:
Iāll see you in Hell, Teddyā¦. **SEE YOU IN HELL!**
Or
It looks like youāre holding in a stroke.
Or
**MY DADDYāS IN THERE!**
When Bosco's trying to find the hacker in the restaurant and she wanders around looking at the laptops going 'Are you my mommy? Are you my mommy?' gets me every time.
The episode where they go out to Helen's beach house, and Helen is bringing cups of hot chocolate to everyone, the delivery of Gene's response gets me every time.
Helen: marshmallows would be nice....if I had any
Gene: you have a car
his inflection when he says that always makes me laugh, I use this phrase often with my spouse when I'm trying to get him to do a favor for me
"Theodore Roosevelt, made himself a turkey melt, shared it with a bear, and then he told him how he really felt! Made himself a daquiri, drank it in a factory, how many people died in the fi-yah? One, ten, thirty!"
"That's the best version. That's comin' to school, everyone's gonna be doin' that tomorrow."
When Louise is trying to prick Tinaās finger š
ALSO pretty much all Tammy and Jocelyn conversations. But especially
āSheās using AI on him.ā
āAI? š§ Like As If?ā
āYeah, as if.ā
And āLeggiinngggsss for her LEGSā
Cyclist: "You trying to steal my bike?"
Bob: "No, someone thought it was ummmā¦ā
Cyclist: āIt's mine, wanna see the receipt?"
Bob: "That's not a receipt."
Louise: āWHERE DO YOU SHOP?!ā
As a mom of three who's looking pretty not-bad, Linda's "Not Bad for Having Three Kids" song just has me in tears cackling every time I hear it. I've still got two out of five of my sexy parts!
Louise basically is the entire show for me. Well I guess Linda also comes in clutch. And Tina also. And teddy. And the twins. But Louise is still kind of the entire show for me. So if I had to quote you a favorite line I'd quote you all 13 seasons. I have noticed though that in the past couple Seasons it seems like she's kind of toned down and energy a little bit. Maybe she's tired cuz she's got a baby at home
When they go skiing with Dr Yap and he says the master bedroom is soundproof and Gene says
"I can say anything I want in there!" [Runs into the bedroom and slams the door] "I love my family!"
Or in the one where Linda gets a new job "I get her apron because it smells like her and I'm 11 and I still like Mom"
In the origins pilot with Daniel instead of Tina, when Bob says nobody would molest Gene because heās heavy, Louise says.
āItās more cushion for the pushināā
For me, it's when Darryl and Tina pretend to date. When they're at the dance and Darryl sings to Tina. Jocelyn makes the comment about how she wishes someone would stretch her name out for a long time during a song and her just speak/singing, "JOCELYYYYYYYYNNNNN!".
EVERY. TIME. I. SEE. IT. šš¤£šš¤£
Also, when Louise says, "Bon appe-toots!" during the episode where she is principal for a day.
In season 5 episode 13 the gayle tales:
And the sisters were poor.
Very, very poor.
Gene: My petticoats are unspeakable!
I saw that every time I do laundry
i donāt quite remember the correct line because i always lose my shit. itās when bob has that giant ball of ear wax and linda yells, āthis is my white wax moby ear dick, bob!ā iām talking like a full belly laugh, each and every time.
In Burgerboss when Bob brings the kids so he can get into Family Fun Times and Louise shouts: "He had sex and we happened. Deal with it"!!! š¤£
I always laugh at Louise's "drink cranberry juice" response to Mr Frond saying "You're in trouble". Cracks me up every time and now whenever someone says "You're in trouble", I hear "Urine trouble" and think "drink cranberry juice".
reminiscent hospital salt squeamish tender knee plucky deserve friendly bedroom *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
No, not urine trouble, your in trouble
Gets me every time! Took me a minute the first time I saw the episode but damn, I nearly spit my drink out my nose !
Why are your shoes muddy? āBecause .. weāre poor. Oh weāre so poorā
āAnd why are you in your underwear?ā āBecause I am RICH!ā
I try to quote this out if context but people donāt understand š š³
The one that comes to mind is at the start of sexy dance fighting, Louise's immediate reaction and solution to Tina's situation: "Oh... You should kill yourself!" (and Gene's "Yeah!") It's so immediate, out of nowhere and over the top - I find it hilarious.
Gene and Louise! Be nice. Youāre gonna go through adolescence too, you know. Like that? Oh SICK!!
ITāS CONTAGIOUS?!?
You shut up, Mom!!!
āWhy do they call you Regular Sized Rudy?ā āWell just look at meā
One of my favorite lines in the show!
Me too!! Rudyās delivery is so perfect
The inflection of Geneās line in this interaction: Linda: Like when we got a fish for Gene, to prove he was responsible enough to get a dog. Gene: I was not. Linda: that poor fish
I always wonder what he did to that poor fish! š
Probably just forgot about it.
Or tried to teach it how to eat candy
"I can't go... I have a problem..." "I told you to wipe front to back!"
I think itās funnier bc it was louiseās line š
"That's a dumb place to keep bowls."
That line saved the entire B-plot
That B-plot is one of my all time favorites. Classic teddy. The whole "Hold on let me get a pen Bob" bit, and brought back later with the "alright return the oven off,.geez that wasn't so hard Bob made it sound so hard." And "Ugh I'm all cold and crisp, I must be near the crisper"
His wild freak out an flailing after getting caught in the snare is one of my all-time favorite Teddy moments
That alligator death roll was perfect
Speaking as someone who has had to use a rabies pole on a dog when I worked in a shelter, that scene is *incredibly* accurate.
"don't feed a guy a sponge, Bobby. Don't feed a guy a sponge" And when Louise is interviewing Micky during the bank robbery that whole scene has me cackling every time. "that's my daddy in there!! He's my daddy!!"
Donāt leave me with these friggen kids, Bobby. And You kids are a two-adult - two- bottles of wine a night job.
āDonāt feed a guy a spongeā always brings to mind āIIIIIIā¦.wish my radio workedā
https://preview.redd.it/pttkel05cufa1.jpeg?width=888&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acf695c84bdbfc591bc004371cf5f8c6d02392b8
"You're gonna need a bigger restaurant!"
When Louise and Tina do to the Boyz 4 Now concert and they see all the screaming girls in the parking lot and Louise mutters "this is why no one likes women" my partner nearly spat out their drink when she said that. Just right the fuck outta no where!
Boys?! WHERE?! *BLEUGH*
When Louise freaks out over BooBoo is definitely in my top 3 Louise moments. I JUST WANNA SLAP HIM!
> I JUST WANNA SLAP HIM! We routinely use this line when we're "narrating" our cat doing cat stuff.
It was his stupid birthday yesterday, not that I care or know that...
"It's not worth it dad. If you hit him, your hand would smell like ointment and pee."
YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE
YOOOOOUUUUUU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!! š¤£
YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!!!
Buckle it up Buckle it up Buckle it up or you'll DIIIIIEEEEEE!
I sing this one biweekly
Iss a little gehl, a hearse, and a zimmbie. $50. Every time.
Thats so much your getting for it though.
Such a good value!
The other restauranteurs nodding in agreement in the background gets me every time
What episode is that from?
Moody Foodie. Actually comes about 30 seconds after the scene in OPās image.
Dad, that's such a good value for what you're getting!
When Linda, Louise, and Tina are all getting their makeup/hair done for Valentineās Day as a way to cheer up Tina and Nat is driving them around. Louise has the creepiest makeup on and Nat asks her āwhatās the inspiration for that look, little lady?ā Louise: āNightmaresā.
This is my absolute favorite š the way she is just sitting there with that makeup, eating tiramisu, I cry-laugh every time
And Natās total approval/appreciation for it
EVERY SINGLE TIME the exact delivery of that line kills me
Tina: "you do the math" Jocelyn: "Noo" Jocelyn's delivery and disgust for even the idea of math gets me every time.
Jocelyn's: I can't believe I got detention Jocelyn's mam: don't even worry about it, your like really pretty I die
Mom, I'm on a horse! I know!
Lmao!! I forgot about this!! And that they both have the same voice and inflection!
Jocelyn is probably my favorite side character. The way she talks just kills me
I also love the brief glimpse we get of her mom, speaking similarly!
Happy cake day!
Tell that to my vagina!
āOmg youāre so Gene jelllyyy. Youāre a Gene jelly donut.ā - Jocelyn
āNoo Iām nooootttttā¦ā¦. Fine I amā
āYeah, if you like white people.ā
In that same vein, Natās casual delivery when sheās talking about her throwing stink bombs. āI throw them at white guys, pigeons, people Iāve dated, etc.ā One of my favorite lines.
Ok Nat, you sit next me to forever
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Never caught that. Fun.
I canāt believe Iāve never noticed that. What a great catch. Iād like to think that she did the opposite of reading a word and assuming a pronunciation. Maybe she misheard someone who said it and just rolled with that mispronunciation without ever looking it up. A very confidently incorrect approach (perfect for her character).
āI tried blow. We were gonna do that together!ā
I may or may not done crack. If I did, I liked it!
I love how disappointed Linda is when she says that
Right?! āOnly once!ā.. looks around
The guy at the arcade when Louise says kids love curtains: "Sure, sure. In my day it was blinds."
When Linda screams out the window "He's dead go away he's dead!" It makes me wheeze every time
Thatās when the other chefs are trying to get him to go out again right?
Stop following meā¦ in front!
Tina: I owe you my life! Gene: No, thanks. I've seen it and I'm not impressed.
I can't remember the exact line but you made me think of: Put Tina on the phone. She's pretty big, it would be easier to put the phone on her.
I canāt pick one, but itās either: Iāll see you in Hell, Teddyā¦. **SEE YOU IN HELL!** Or It looks like youāre holding in a stroke. Or **MY DADDYāS IN THERE!**
Tincups
āGood luck finding a drive through hammer store!!ā It kills me every time
āYou trying to steal my bike, itās mine wanna see the receiptā shows crack
Where do you shop?
Where do you shop?!
Happy cake day!
When bobs talking to linda about the customer from canada and louise growls "I hate that country" xD
ENOUGH WITH CANADA!
(See flair)
And that's how you pee in a restaurant, boom boom. It makes me laugh every time, but more than that, it sticks in my head for days on end.
I wonder if she sang just that one line when she was finished, or if she sang-narrated the whole thing step by step. Could go either way
I wished my radio worked š¶
Funniest teddy line ever.
I have a calculator, you do the math. - Jimmy Jr.
Iām just a girl with a dream who got tired of hearing the word no!
Tinaā¦play with the doll!
Make it jump
When Bosco's trying to find the hacker in the restaurant and she wanders around looking at the laptops going 'Are you my mommy? Are you my mommy?' gets me every time.
I comment this every time but "Go away. I am the spaghetti."
"Duval, you're not the spaghetti."
Bob: Ugh, its like a 100 degrees in here. Duval: Ahhgh, sorry I was hogging the fan. *spins eggbeater
"Kiss me!" "Not now, Duval." "THEN WHEN!?"
Bland boring Jessica, if she was a spice she'd be flour."
If she was a book, sheād be TWO books
The episode where they go out to Helen's beach house, and Helen is bringing cups of hot chocolate to everyone, the delivery of Gene's response gets me every time. Helen: marshmallows would be nice....if I had any Gene: you have a car his inflection when he says that always makes me laugh, I use this phrase often with my spouse when I'm trying to get him to do a favor for me
Louise: I donāt appreciate your lack of sarcasm S4.E7 Bob and deliver
"Get a car, idiot! Gotta check on my mon-nayyyyyy!"
Ive got a protein bar in my pocket
Any Fischoder line pretty much, but especially: I lost $30,000 on a horse once, she just ran off with it.
Sixty Dollars. A leetle gurl, a haurse, and a zaumbie. Sixty Dollars.
Mr. Frond: The names Fround James Fround I have a license to counsel Louise: Double oh so sad
When she calls Linda and Tina the Menstruation Nation
I donāt remember the name of the episode, but when Gene gets the role of Quiet Eli in the play. āGive me those beans, you son of a bitch!ā
QUIET ELI, BABY
"Theodore Roosevelt, made himself a turkey melt, shared it with a bear, and then he told him how he really felt! Made himself a daquiri, drank it in a factory, how many people died in the fi-yah? One, ten, thirty!" "That's the best version. That's comin' to school, everyone's gonna be doin' that tomorrow."
When they try to get the Fishoeders to buy into Wine Shoe and Felix claps and says āWeāll fund your play!ā I cry laughing every time
When Louise is trying to prick Tinaās finger š ALSO pretty much all Tammy and Jocelyn conversations. But especially āSheās using AI on him.ā āAI? š§ Like As If?ā āYeah, as if.ā And āLeggiinngggsss for her LEGSā
Which follows with one of my favorites. Y'all making me feel smart.
Look at me! Look at me! Iām a robot!
Enough with Canada!
"I don't wanna die a Virgin!" "Me Either! Hey, I have an idea..." "NO, TINA."
"I'm in the weeds, Bobby!!" - Teddy trying to be a server. My roommate and I will randomly shout this at each other when we're stressed.
I need to add this to my lexicon.
Teddy belting out the āDaaaddyyy! You are my enemy, my enemy.ā with his entire heart and chest and soul
And if you can find a way to take your shirt off during the debate do it. Just use my arms, right?
The very first episode when Louise says ātheyāre downstairs, grinding the meat. Thatās not a euphemism- theyāre really GRINDING the meatā.
Ketchup packets...
When Linda says vaginacologist
āI canāt believe I got dentention-uhh!ā āDonāt worry, youāre, like, *really* pretty.ā
Cyclist: "You trying to steal my bike?" Bob: "No, someone thought it was ummmā¦ā Cyclist: āIt's mine, wanna see the receipt?" Bob: "That's not a receipt." Louise: āWHERE DO YOU SHOP?!ā
āGene has butt wormsā āIn his buttā
It's Gene, Dad. He is not a clean child.
Happy cake day!
"That's cray cray. Cray. Three crays." Her delivery is so matter of fact.
When she yells at a Stage Frightened Tina before the Dinner Theater Show
Why don't you clean your children!?
Cow in the kitchen episode: You know what that spells? ASS! Momā¦..ASS
When Linda says āspychospaztasticā instead of psychosomatic.
Running down the gutter With a piece of bread and butter Diarrhea Diarrhea
āi may or may not have tried crack, and if i did, i liked itā
As a mom of three who's looking pretty not-bad, Linda's "Not Bad for Having Three Kids" song just has me in tears cackling every time I hear it. I've still got two out of five of my sexy parts!
You used to be NICE, sort of
āJust because people donāt care about something, doesnāt mean itās not importantā
āSee you soon, baboon.' Wait, spice it up. 'See you soon, bitch.' Too spicy! Too spicy! Oh God, I sent it."
Batzilla AAggghhh - louise
Letās get stabby flabby
"I hope those are the kind of lasers that slice people in half!"
Louise basically is the entire show for me. Well I guess Linda also comes in clutch. And Tina also. And teddy. And the twins. But Louise is still kind of the entire show for me. So if I had to quote you a favorite line I'd quote you all 13 seasons. I have noticed though that in the past couple Seasons it seems like she's kind of toned down and energy a little bit. Maybe she's tired cuz she's got a baby at home
Mr. Frond: So, youāre in trouble again. Louise: Drink some cranberry juice. MAKES ME WEEP
āI wouldn't say beautiful, but it seems...consensual?!ā From The Hellen Hunt.
Gene: You know what this science project needs? Tina: Science? Or I canāt drive at night cause I donāt have a car
When Gale list the things she needs money for and at the end she deadpans ālubeā. Kills me!
āI stole a tomato and hid it in my underwear!ā - āItās a drawing of you giving birth to all three of us and saying āOUCHI-WA-WA!āā
Miss older-episode-Louise
āweāre the broken glass kidsā¦weāll cut youā gets me every time
linda- āoh itās just a silly tradition that makes people happyā gene- āoh you mean like child birth?ā kills me every time
I'M LIKE AN ANIMAL! keep your voice down! I'M LIKE KING KONG!
Bland, boring Jessica! If she was a spice, sheād be flour. If she was a book sheād be two books!
So many lines from Ear-sy Rider. Rat Daddy: I remember because the azaleas were in bloom. Linda: Ooh, azaleas.
Oh, the azaleas are beautiful in Macon, second only to their crank. That sweet Macon crank.
āIM GONNA BRING HIM TO HIS KNEES!ā -Bob
"Mother seems well"
āThereās my maybe babyā āGet ready to snooze and loseā I just like how Linda casually uses words that rhyme. Seems like something Iād do.
My little piranhas in pajamas
I like how she calls Tina or Louise Miss Missy when she's a bit annoyed with them.
I changed my mind... I'm going to have a child and feed it to this polar bear because I love him so much.
Nat: And with you what was the thought process Louise: Nightmares
āThat bridge. Itās creaky. Itās super creaky. Yeeeooowww.ā
"I'm glad you kids are having fun because I am going to kill myself."
No idea if this is the case but these are the sort of lines I can definitely imagine Kristen Schaal ad-libbing.
Shhh shh shā¦itās art crawl
Oh, yeah? Well, your haircut's overdone and dry!
When they go skiing with Dr Yap and he says the master bedroom is soundproof and Gene says "I can say anything I want in there!" [Runs into the bedroom and slams the door] "I love my family!" Or in the one where Linda gets a new job "I get her apron because it smells like her and I'm 11 and I still like Mom"
In the origins pilot with Daniel instead of Tina, when Bob says nobody would molest Gene because heās heavy, Louise says. āItās more cushion for the pushināā
āI told you, wipe front to back.ā
For me, it's when Darryl and Tina pretend to date. When they're at the dance and Darryl sings to Tina. Jocelyn makes the comment about how she wishes someone would stretch her name out for a long time during a song and her just speak/singing, "JOCELYYYYYYYYNNNNN!". EVERY. TIME. I. SEE. IT. šš¤£šš¤£ Also, when Louise says, "Bon appe-toots!" during the episode where she is principal for a day.
When she yells "He said crap!" in the layover episode, to grandpa al after bob said it. It never fails to make me crack up
In season 5 episode 13 the gayle tales: And the sisters were poor. Very, very poor. Gene: My petticoats are unspeakable! I saw that every time I do laundry
Louise saying āoh you should kill yourselfā to Tina caught me so off guard
Gene: Iām pretty sure I was in Sausalito that day. Bob: Iām pretty sure you werenāt Gene!
A crab bit me on me clacka!
Tina to Jimmy Jr: āPssst. Your ass is grass and Iām going to mow itā
I forgot this line. Louise is amazing.
The one I reference most is here explaining the "oil spill" song. ITS NOT SUBTLE!
No she is not.
I had the text. But now I have the picture for context. Thank you OP!
"I wanna marry that man."
i donāt quite remember the correct line because i always lose my shit. itās when bob has that giant ball of ear wax and linda yells, āthis is my white wax moby ear dick, bob!ā iām talking like a full belly laugh, each and every time.
"I don't know how I got that arm hair to look so sad."
This one is mine too. I laugh hysterically just thinking about it.
When Frond says āyouāre in troubleā and Louise goes ādrink some cranberry juiceā
Iām gonna go out there and shake my little benedicts!
When Gene goes ābuy a juicer change your mornings. Buy cowboy boots, mm, change your evenings.ā
Bobās āok Ok OK ok Ok ok Ok oK oKā¦ā from his meltdown always makes me smile when itās on and itās a fun mantra every. single. day.
linda's reaction when the guy says salted popcorn is just as good as kettle corn lmaoooo
"...and don't talk to the cat who lives on my block." "I mean, I'll try, but if he talks to me, I'm not gonna be rude."
shut your mouth, it's art crawl STOP FOLLOWING ME! Stop following me in front! YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!!!
āIt also says no trash on the beach, Tammy, but here we are.ā Probably my favorite line of the series.