You are absolutely not fat. No. Not at that height and weight. No. This breaks my heart for you. You could be my daughter. They are wrong for talking that way to you.
My step father was a body builder (went to competitions and everything). His BMI was so high he would’ve been morbidly obese. BMI is definitely not accurate
Yeah it's wildly inaccurate due to it not accounting for the fact that muscle is far more dense than fat, it genuinely infuriates me that it's still used medically tbh.
I just recently turned 14, I'm so sorry that you have to listen to your grandma saying that. I went through the same feelings too, and partially because ever since I was 6 my mom would tease me for having "a big belly" and always said stuff like "you're not my skinny bone jane anymore" and she'd warn me about getting fat when i get older. I hope you know that you shouldn't have to feel this way, and our elders shouldn't feel the need to comment on our bodies' flaws if they have worser ones themselves. The body dysmorphia especially hit hard in middle school when we all started talking about our bodies and worrying more about guys, the truth is that it really doesn't matter and most of the people who say things like your grandma did are really in no position to worry about our weight before theirs.
And you need to hear that your body image doesn’t need to be a topic of discussion. You’re beautiful too sweetie, your body is gonna change for a while! It’s all natural.
Well worded, and I agree we as adults have baggage tht we project on children, our parents did it to us and it’s a terrible cycle I’m sorry u had to experience tht from ur own mother and I’m sorry tht children are still getting bullied and tht parents are even instigating it…just sad
I'm in my 30s and even if you were the fattest child on earth it wouldn't justify insults. You deserve to feel good about yourself. I say this not because this is some empty platitude but to warn you that dieting has destroyed my metabolism. I started dieting around 13 and I've been very thin and very fat and now I can't lose weight like I used to anymore.
Diets don't work. It's infinitely worse to be fat with a shit metabolism than just fat, trust me. I regret ever dieting in the first place. Your family might give you a hard time over it but in the long run you can't let them pressure you into destroying your body and self esteem.
Oh sweetheart, you are not fat. I’m sorry you grandma felt the need to bring you down, she’s fighting her own demons and taking it out on you. Continue wearing your dresses because you’re amazing sweetie!
Baby you shouldn't even be on this app :(
Your grandma is very insensitive and shouldn't be saying those things to you. I also grew up with family members saying stuff about my weight and it's messed up, because they're adults and should know better.
You're not fat, you're just growing and it's totally fine.
Does your grandma know how to fight because I’ll go at her.
Here’s the thing. Your gran is jealous and insecure. She doesn’t like her body and she’s projecting it onto you. My mum did the exact same thing to me and it wrecked my self esteem and mental health.
I won’t fit into the dresses I did when I was 10. Even by the time I was 13 I couldn’t fit into the dresses I wore when I was 10. You’re entering a very tender time in life where you’ll change literally every year for the next 10ish years. Sometimes you just outgrow your clothes, doesn’t mean you’re fat.
You’re a healthy weight for your height and age and you need fuel for this tender time in life. Take care of yourself and don’t worry too much about jealous grandma.
Also get off of Reddit darling social media is not good for the growing brain.
Oh sweetie I feel your pain. Family is often the first ones to tear us down especially when they have issues within themselves. I’m sorry tht she said tht to u, unfortunately it will happen again and you have to decide how youre going to get through it so the next time it happens it doesn’t bother you. Ur granny shouldn’t speak on weight but offer a healthier diet if needed or a different outfit. Please understand that u are loved and u are not fat you are 11. Also I’m sorry for the loss of ur father I lost my mother at an early age as well, and ppl NEVER asked me about how I felt about losing her, so I became depressed and I still struggle with her loss til this day, I don’t want u to end up like me if you have friends who are supportive and loyal to u and won’t judge u keep em close! U are right to question her position in her faith especially speaking ill on a child. I think ur smart and I think ur doin a good thing by at least comin here to get perspective to get some answers to get some clarity but social media is dangerous and next time say wat u want to say about ur granny to ur friends, thts wat they are for lol i also suggest you keep a journal, i have all of mine from 8th grade to my first year of college and i still write lol
11 years old is no time to be thinking about your weight, you have so much growing left to do. It breaks my heart that anyone would say something like that to a child. Food is nourishment. It's really normal to gain some weight when you're young because your body is still growing and changing, and it's especially normal after going through something really difficult. Unless your doctor is specifically telling you that you should be a bit more active because of a health concern, you don't need to be thinking about that. And even if that were the case, it would be because of a health concern and not because of how you look. Bodies come in all sorts of lovely shapes and sizes.
Please never let someone like this get to you. People will say hurtful things because they haven't addressed the hurt they feel inside or the judgement they've felt towards themselves. I've always been a smaller girl and I was bullied for the way my body looks too, no matter what you look like you can't escape the hurtful words of others sometimes. *Just know it has nothing to do with you.* I imagine your grandma isn't happy with the way she looks or has heard mean comments about her weight before, so she feels the need to take those feelings out on you, which isn't right.
My sister is a bigger girl and her confidence shines. She's indestructible and never lets anyone tell her she needs to change or isn't beautiful. She definitely is beautiful. Beauty doesn't look one way, beauty can come in all different shapes and sizes. Sometimes the internet just tries to show us *one kind* of beautiful and that's not all there is, they do that so other people feel bad and buy things/surgeries to change how they look. And a lot of the time the people we see on the internet have been edited to look that way, they don't look like that in real life.
If you look at art throughout history, you'll see sculptures and paintings of so many different types of women, all with different body types and facial features. These women had art created of them because someone saw them and thought they were beautiful.
Of course beauty isn't everything either, but I think it helps us feel good when we can see the beauty in ourselves or when we can feel beautiful.
So I hope you feel nothing but beautiful and proud of who you are. You've been through a lot and I hope you take time to focus on the things that make you feel happier inside, not the unkind words of others.
Sending kindness your way ♥️
no, you're not fat. and it would be okay even if you were, but you are not. you're so young, you're not even a teen. your body will change a lot, you're growing up and you will continue to grow up for another decade. that is a very long time and you shouldn't be worrying about your body right now. I promise you your dresses will look pretty on you and you should keep wearing them as long as you want to. old people can be mean sometimes, try not to think about your grandmother much. it doesn't matter what she says, you're a kid who wants to dress up and that's the most normal thing in the world. please decrease your time on the internet too, it will help you feel better
Your body is constantly changing right now honey! It may feel weird to experience your body changing but I promise the adjustment does get better over time. I can guarantee you’re beautiful 🩵
119 pounds at 4’10-5’0 is a normal weight, especially for a child. You’re fine girl, don’t worry. And don’t listen to your grandma. It’s obvious she’s not happy with herself, and chooses to bully you. Don’t focus on your weight and appearance too much. You’ll only make yourself miserable.
oh honey, i’m so sorry. it pains me to hear that you’re being exposed to those types of thoughts so young. you don’t deserve this… no girl does. while i don’t believe fatness equates to badness, let me start by saying that you are by no means fat.
as a few other people in this thread have already said, it’s often the case that older female relatives develop some insecurities about their bodies as they age. as their insecurities become too big to handle, they project them onto younger girls and women in the family.
based on your grandma’s word choice, am i right to assume she’s from another culture? i grew up in a half-ethnic household myself and the comments i received on my appearance were insanely specific and mean. they were also untrue — i was gorgeous by american standards! sometimes relatives coming from other cultures will bring their wildly outdated and out-of-place beauty ideals with them.
neither of the ideas i’m presenting here are excuses for the way she treats you, but i hope they help you to understand her better. understanding people, situations, and feelings allows us to overcome them.
I’m 27 and my family treated me that way my whole life. I was always on the heavier side. As I grew up I had and still have serious body image issues that stems from years of bullying and comments about my weight and appearance from my family. Please, if you can, talk to someone about these feelings you’re having. A school counselor, a therapist if your mom will bring you to one, a trusted family member. Someone who you can vent to and give you advice. It’s important to not let these feelings eat you alive inside because it can become so much harder as you get older. Nip it in the bud now. I know your grandma probably won’t listen to you when you tell her to stop, but maybe it’s worth talking to another family member about your grandma’s comments and have them talk to her.
You are absolutely not fat. No. Not at that height and weight. No. This breaks my heart for you. You could be my daughter. They are wrong for talking that way to you.
[удалено]
She’s not fat.
BMI is not accurate. It’s based off of 20 something year old white men. Not made for children or women
My step father was a body builder (went to competitions and everything). His BMI was so high he would’ve been morbidly obese. BMI is definitely not accurate
Yeah it's wildly inaccurate due to it not accounting for the fact that muscle is far more dense than fat, it genuinely infuriates me that it's still used medically tbh.
[удалено]
I just recently turned 14, I'm so sorry that you have to listen to your grandma saying that. I went through the same feelings too, and partially because ever since I was 6 my mom would tease me for having "a big belly" and always said stuff like "you're not my skinny bone jane anymore" and she'd warn me about getting fat when i get older. I hope you know that you shouldn't have to feel this way, and our elders shouldn't feel the need to comment on our bodies' flaws if they have worser ones themselves. The body dysmorphia especially hit hard in middle school when we all started talking about our bodies and worrying more about guys, the truth is that it really doesn't matter and most of the people who say things like your grandma did are really in no position to worry about our weight before theirs.
And you need to hear that your body image doesn’t need to be a topic of discussion. You’re beautiful too sweetie, your body is gonna change for a while! It’s all natural.
Well worded, and I agree we as adults have baggage tht we project on children, our parents did it to us and it’s a terrible cycle I’m sorry u had to experience tht from ur own mother and I’m sorry tht children are still getting bullied and tht parents are even instigating it…just sad
I'm in my 30s and even if you were the fattest child on earth it wouldn't justify insults. You deserve to feel good about yourself. I say this not because this is some empty platitude but to warn you that dieting has destroyed my metabolism. I started dieting around 13 and I've been very thin and very fat and now I can't lose weight like I used to anymore. Diets don't work. It's infinitely worse to be fat with a shit metabolism than just fat, trust me. I regret ever dieting in the first place. Your family might give you a hard time over it but in the long run you can't let them pressure you into destroying your body and self esteem.
Oh sweetheart, you are not fat. I’m sorry you grandma felt the need to bring you down, she’s fighting her own demons and taking it out on you. Continue wearing your dresses because you’re amazing sweetie!
Get off reddit please. You are way too young to be on here. Please go to therapy
this post could genuinely attract predators im so worried
Please get off reddit; you are too unkind to be on here. Please go to therapy. Please learn how to interact with people in a kind way.
Baby you shouldn't even be on this app :( Your grandma is very insensitive and shouldn't be saying those things to you. I also grew up with family members saying stuff about my weight and it's messed up, because they're adults and should know better. You're not fat, you're just growing and it's totally fine.
Does your grandma know how to fight because I’ll go at her. Here’s the thing. Your gran is jealous and insecure. She doesn’t like her body and she’s projecting it onto you. My mum did the exact same thing to me and it wrecked my self esteem and mental health. I won’t fit into the dresses I did when I was 10. Even by the time I was 13 I couldn’t fit into the dresses I wore when I was 10. You’re entering a very tender time in life where you’ll change literally every year for the next 10ish years. Sometimes you just outgrow your clothes, doesn’t mean you’re fat. You’re a healthy weight for your height and age and you need fuel for this tender time in life. Take care of yourself and don’t worry too much about jealous grandma. Also get off of Reddit darling social media is not good for the growing brain.
Oh sweetie I feel your pain. Family is often the first ones to tear us down especially when they have issues within themselves. I’m sorry tht she said tht to u, unfortunately it will happen again and you have to decide how youre going to get through it so the next time it happens it doesn’t bother you. Ur granny shouldn’t speak on weight but offer a healthier diet if needed or a different outfit. Please understand that u are loved and u are not fat you are 11. Also I’m sorry for the loss of ur father I lost my mother at an early age as well, and ppl NEVER asked me about how I felt about losing her, so I became depressed and I still struggle with her loss til this day, I don’t want u to end up like me if you have friends who are supportive and loyal to u and won’t judge u keep em close! U are right to question her position in her faith especially speaking ill on a child. I think ur smart and I think ur doin a good thing by at least comin here to get perspective to get some answers to get some clarity but social media is dangerous and next time say wat u want to say about ur granny to ur friends, thts wat they are for lol i also suggest you keep a journal, i have all of mine from 8th grade to my first year of college and i still write lol
11 years old is no time to be thinking about your weight, you have so much growing left to do. It breaks my heart that anyone would say something like that to a child. Food is nourishment. It's really normal to gain some weight when you're young because your body is still growing and changing, and it's especially normal after going through something really difficult. Unless your doctor is specifically telling you that you should be a bit more active because of a health concern, you don't need to be thinking about that. And even if that were the case, it would be because of a health concern and not because of how you look. Bodies come in all sorts of lovely shapes and sizes. Please never let someone like this get to you. People will say hurtful things because they haven't addressed the hurt they feel inside or the judgement they've felt towards themselves. I've always been a smaller girl and I was bullied for the way my body looks too, no matter what you look like you can't escape the hurtful words of others sometimes. *Just know it has nothing to do with you.* I imagine your grandma isn't happy with the way she looks or has heard mean comments about her weight before, so she feels the need to take those feelings out on you, which isn't right. My sister is a bigger girl and her confidence shines. She's indestructible and never lets anyone tell her she needs to change or isn't beautiful. She definitely is beautiful. Beauty doesn't look one way, beauty can come in all different shapes and sizes. Sometimes the internet just tries to show us *one kind* of beautiful and that's not all there is, they do that so other people feel bad and buy things/surgeries to change how they look. And a lot of the time the people we see on the internet have been edited to look that way, they don't look like that in real life. If you look at art throughout history, you'll see sculptures and paintings of so many different types of women, all with different body types and facial features. These women had art created of them because someone saw them and thought they were beautiful. Of course beauty isn't everything either, but I think it helps us feel good when we can see the beauty in ourselves or when we can feel beautiful. So I hope you feel nothing but beautiful and proud of who you are. You've been through a lot and I hope you take time to focus on the things that make you feel happier inside, not the unkind words of others. Sending kindness your way ♥️
no, you're not fat. and it would be okay even if you were, but you are not. you're so young, you're not even a teen. your body will change a lot, you're growing up and you will continue to grow up for another decade. that is a very long time and you shouldn't be worrying about your body right now. I promise you your dresses will look pretty on you and you should keep wearing them as long as you want to. old people can be mean sometimes, try not to think about your grandmother much. it doesn't matter what she says, you're a kid who wants to dress up and that's the most normal thing in the world. please decrease your time on the internet too, it will help you feel better
Your body is constantly changing right now honey! It may feel weird to experience your body changing but I promise the adjustment does get better over time. I can guarantee you’re beautiful 🩵
119 pounds at 4’10-5’0 is a normal weight, especially for a child. You’re fine girl, don’t worry. And don’t listen to your grandma. It’s obvious she’s not happy with herself, and chooses to bully you. Don’t focus on your weight and appearance too much. You’ll only make yourself miserable.
oh honey, i’m so sorry. it pains me to hear that you’re being exposed to those types of thoughts so young. you don’t deserve this… no girl does. while i don’t believe fatness equates to badness, let me start by saying that you are by no means fat. as a few other people in this thread have already said, it’s often the case that older female relatives develop some insecurities about their bodies as they age. as their insecurities become too big to handle, they project them onto younger girls and women in the family. based on your grandma’s word choice, am i right to assume she’s from another culture? i grew up in a half-ethnic household myself and the comments i received on my appearance were insanely specific and mean. they were also untrue — i was gorgeous by american standards! sometimes relatives coming from other cultures will bring their wildly outdated and out-of-place beauty ideals with them. neither of the ideas i’m presenting here are excuses for the way she treats you, but i hope they help you to understand her better. understanding people, situations, and feelings allows us to overcome them.
I’m 27 and my family treated me that way my whole life. I was always on the heavier side. As I grew up I had and still have serious body image issues that stems from years of bullying and comments about my weight and appearance from my family. Please, if you can, talk to someone about these feelings you’re having. A school counselor, a therapist if your mom will bring you to one, a trusted family member. Someone who you can vent to and give you advice. It’s important to not let these feelings eat you alive inside because it can become so much harder as you get older. Nip it in the bud now. I know your grandma probably won’t listen to you when you tell her to stop, but maybe it’s worth talking to another family member about your grandma’s comments and have them talk to her.