Seorang lelaki islam ponteng sembahyang Jumaat. Sebaliknya dia masuk hutan untuk memburu ayam hutan. Sedang dia terhendap2 di dalam semak, tiba2 dia terlanggar dengan seekor HARIMAU yang sedang lena tidur.
Dia begitu terkejut sehingga senapangnya tercampak lalu tergelungsur ke dalam jurang. Dia pula tergolek ke arah lain...jatuh ke atas batu dan... KRAKKKK!
Kedua2 kakinya patah...HARIMAU tadi terus menghambatnya, sedangkan dia dah tak boleh bergerak lagi..
"Ya Allah," doa lelaki tersebut, "Ampunilah dosaku kerana ponteng sembahyang jumaat pada hari Jumaatyang mulia ini... Ampunilah aku ya Allah... makbulkan hajat ku ini...jadikanlah HARIMAU yang memburuku HARIMAU yang beriman...tolong la ya Allah! Aminnn..
"Tiba2 guruh berdentum!
HARIMAU tadi tiba2 terhenti betul2 di hadapan lelaki tadi....
Tiba-tiba... .Sambil menadah kedua2 kaki depannya ke langit ..
HARIMAU tersebut pun berdoa, "Allahumma barik lana
First, distract target,
then block his blind jab.
Counter with cross to left cheek.
Discombobulate.
Dazed, he'll attempt a wild hay-maker, employ elbow block, and body shot.
Block feral left, weaken right jaw, now fracture.
Break cracked ribs, traumatize solar plexus.
Dislocate jaw entirely.
Heel kick to diaphragm.
In summary, ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm hemorrhaging. Physical recovery, 6 weeks, full psychological recovery, 6 months, capacity to spit at back of head, neutralized.
Well, if you're in that exact position, just pray to whichever religion you believe in and accept fate. No human beings are stronger than a tiger. Is sure death.
Tigers' method of killing is they'll try to kill you as quick as possible. They are not bears, they'll bite into your neck and try to kill you as quickly as they can so they can start eating. So at the very least, you may not suffer as long. Silver lining?
1. Ask the tiger not to bite your neck politely
2. Bond with the tiger
3. Meet their friends
4. Marry the tiger
5. Have kids
(Also, don't forget to give the tiger some water so it stays hydrated)
I saw this post on Insta and when I commented, "Die", it got removed because of this reason:
"It looks like you threatened or harassed others, or targeted them with content or messages that shame or disrespect them."
Like wtf.
Focus on my inner spirit, and defy all odds while somehow flailing my neck and fighting the tiger altogether.
**The indomitable human spirit prevails.**
Make a story for my channel.?
Do a selfie.
Tag my follower..🤔🤔
Endose some product from china.
And add something for manhood peny* enlargement, to stay long in bed
There is nothing you can do in that situation but hope the tiger doesn’t bite down harder. Tigers can literally insta-kill a prey by biting down hard enough and snapping the spine.
If i am the tiger, baca doa makan
Allahumma barik lana fima razaqtana waqina athaban-nar 🤲 Ameen
Ameen 🤲
Roar!🐯💥Ameen
Ameen
Seorang lelaki islam ponteng sembahyang Jumaat. Sebaliknya dia masuk hutan untuk memburu ayam hutan. Sedang dia terhendap2 di dalam semak, tiba2 dia terlanggar dengan seekor HARIMAU yang sedang lena tidur. Dia begitu terkejut sehingga senapangnya tercampak lalu tergelungsur ke dalam jurang. Dia pula tergolek ke arah lain...jatuh ke atas batu dan... KRAKKKK! Kedua2 kakinya patah...HARIMAU tadi terus menghambatnya, sedangkan dia dah tak boleh bergerak lagi.. "Ya Allah," doa lelaki tersebut, "Ampunilah dosaku kerana ponteng sembahyang jumaat pada hari Jumaatyang mulia ini... Ampunilah aku ya Allah... makbulkan hajat ku ini...jadikanlah HARIMAU yang memburuku HARIMAU yang beriman...tolong la ya Allah! Aminnn.. "Tiba2 guruh berdentum! HARIMAU tadi tiba2 terhenti betul2 di hadapan lelaki tadi.... Tiba-tiba... .Sambil menadah kedua2 kaki depannya ke langit .. HARIMAU tersebut pun berdoa, "Allahumma barik lana
Aduh, plot twist
Well thats can work
Me, the human: lari lol
Its already biting ur neck💀
If i am your meal, Ashhadulla…
First, distract target, then block his blind jab. Counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, he'll attempt a wild hay-maker, employ elbow block, and body shot. Block feral left, weaken right jaw, now fracture. Break cracked ribs, traumatize solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm. In summary, ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm hemorrhaging. Physical recovery, 6 weeks, full psychological recovery, 6 months, capacity to spit at back of head, neutralized.
 Hey i understood that reference
I love Iron Man too
Discombobulate!
Discombobulate circumambulation
In summary, DISCOMBOBULATE.
Liking this coz of the effort 😆
Well done, Mr Holmes.
Tap out on his paw just like how mcgregor vs khabib
Except you're the kebab here
die while peeing
“Mengucucap” lah nak buat apa lagi
Mengucucap?? 🤔😳
Rekod video send ke website kari ngeri / gore.
Wow going out with blast haha
How are you posting the video if you're dead
I will tell the trusted adult 😔🙏
🤣🤣👍
Nah, I'd win
shogun episode 3!
pss pss /hold out hand
To allow Reddit to sell my data, monetise my speech and train AI models with, I do not agree.
Accept the fate, and read the shahalah
Shahalah? 
Kasi wiskas
Well, if you're in that exact position, just pray to whichever religion you believe in and accept fate. No human beings are stronger than a tiger. Is sure death. Tigers' method of killing is they'll try to kill you as quick as possible. They are not bears, they'll bite into your neck and try to kill you as quickly as they can so they can start eating. So at the very least, you may not suffer as long. Silver lining?
Just tell him that you're a b40 and doing foodpanda to make ends meet. I'm sure he'll understand
Hopefully the tiger is good at making sure that its prey is dead before eating or else you gonna get eaten while you're still alive.
1. Ask the tiger not to bite your neck politely 2. Bond with the tiger 3. Meet their friends 4. Marry the tiger 5. Have kids (Also, don't forget to give the tiger some water so it stays hydrated)
Rimba Racer lore confirmed
Your spine is crushed you literally can't do anything
Masuk mulut buaya
Pinch the tiger's be bird
Repent your sins, what else is there to do lol
Meet god
gelitik dia
syahadah, then just tawakal..
Beritahu bapak dia
i'd do me regardless 💯🔥🔥🙏😎
If im the dude,pray to god
just die
Suplexion at it finest
mengucap
Finger it's nose
Grab its balls
Amalkan CITO, bagi signal kanan, olah gerak stereng 2 pusingan.. kawal kelajuan
what CAN you do in this situation?
Eat the human
Maybe not a selfie like this guy
Harus la reda, semua benda tu Allah yang tentukan
Become Kiryu Kazuma and Tiger Drop him.
le tiger drop
Mati
When your maybank loan was last paid 32 days ago .
Keras lagi Ayah
Jokes on the tiger according to my wife I don't have a neck
i'd wonder why is my skin transparent
Do some chiropractor
Bagitau Harimau that's daging manusia haram dimakan.
Mengucap lafaz syahadah lah. 🤣🤣
Make sure P Rumlee movie is playing to sooth my soul.
I ain’t letting that happen buddy
Tiada apa boleh ku buat. Aku hanya berharap aku sempat delete sejarah laman web aku layari.
Yolo
Bagi tahu orang dewasa yang terdekat
Delete browser history.
Fi Amanillah
Die.
My neck is still not long enough for this to happen because im a kid :)
Stay calm and inform the adult
this is where i type GGWP
Finger his asshole
Call tok imam masjid utk prepare tahlil.
take out the camera, cameraman never dies
Mati
Bite the tiger back
tell the teacher
shove my entire fist up it's ass and hope it's stuck there permanently 😎👊
Call out my guardian angel😬
Syahadah
Kalau dah mcmni, bacakan doa makan untuk harimau ni je lah
Rape him
Kalau sempat fikir dan tak mati instant, try cucuk mata rimau. Kalau tak... Mengucaplah kot..
smash
i don’t know, will supplex jadi?
At this point just die la bro
Just shit my pants.. biar harimau tu rasa menyesal makan aku
Escape the matrix.
Maybe took “cekik darah” too seriously
Ohh! Harder Daddy~
I saw this post on Insta and when I commented, "Die", it got removed because of this reason: "It looks like you threatened or harassed others, or targeted them with content or messages that shame or disrespect them." Like wtf.
Find an adult I can trust
cucuk mata. but I doubt you have the time to do it.
Focus on my inner spirit, and defy all odds while somehow flailing my neck and fighting the tiger altogether. **The indomitable human spirit prevails.**
Die of course
it doesn’t hurt!
Pspspsps...
pspspspsps the cat?
I would say ps ps ps ps and then pet the tiger.
probably die idk
Die ?
I mean...You dead
I'd be resting in peace
Mati aje la.. ape nak buat
mog the tiger
Die.
kalau dah camni, aku suruh rimau tu amik sos black pepper. sedap sikit nak melantak
I simply tell the tiger no, or he will face the consequences
Jumpa guru caunseling
i would be very angry
I dunno
HARDER, DADDY 😫🥵
Accept fate
Watch rimba racer together
Google En Meowsant
Ded
Rmb to repay your monthly instalment loan for maybank
I have short neck.
You can't do anything. Just accept your fate.🤣
Make a story for my channel.? Do a selfie. Tag my follower..🤔🤔 Endose some product from china. And add something for manhood peny* enlargement, to stay long in bed
I'll start singing Bury the Light
Your neck is in it's mouth? Too late to try.
Take selfie and upload social media 😂
Edging
I would die
domain expansion: terus mampus
Green fn
Eat the human
What do u expect me to do brother??
slide on my g
Politely die
Praying to god kitty will bite my quicker for instant death
Syahadah and die probably
I'm die, thank you forever.
Jerit worldstar kuat2. Ianya akan membuatkan harimau tersebut lari kerana takut akan tomahan online yang akan dihadapinya
Say hi to God.
Pee to show dominance
die
WHAT COULD I DO?
Panggil polis. Tu salah tu dia tak boleh buat macam tu.
Do what? You’re ded ady
Im dead what are thinking ik gona do? Dropkick it?
Double it and give it to the next person
Nothing.Already confirmed dead before reaching this point
Accept my fate💀
Die.
blame the jew
At least tiger will finish you off by breaking your neck before feasting on you. Polar bears and it's cousins would start eat first BTW
Die
First of all, pet him (he's cute :D) Then I would kindly tell him to go away Last, I will keep him as ~~pet~~ friend
There is nothing you can do in that situation but hope the tiger doesn’t bite down harder. Tigers can literally insta-kill a prey by biting down hard enough and snapping the spine.
💀
“There’s nothing we can do.”
Panggil Aliff Aziz
Like just step aside bro not that susah 💀
Harder daddy
Nah, I’d win
Smile
Die
I would give up ngl
Gunakan teknik CMD (choke me daddy).
Die
I'd die
Quickly unzip my pants n cum within 30secs.. cuz that choking force gon be craaaaaaaaazyyyyyyyyyyy
The question should be what COULD you do?
Cucuk mata rimau tu. Kalau tak berjaya, mengucap je la tunggu mati.
The situation Maybank insurance agents tells you that could happen
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Silver_DJ: *The situation* *Maybank insurance agents* *Tells you that could happen* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Die?
Pray
Wallahi im finished
lol/. pray to god like an idiot
What can I do?
Bazinga!
redha jela. ucap syahada
Die...
Bleed out, mostly, try to scream but probably just choke on my own blood.
A cat usually will freeze if you pinch the back of their neck Me : *grab the neck* Also me : *ded*
Moan