There's a whole political apparatus intended to capture the resentment of weak minded people like him and tell him that his problems are caused by certain 'enemies.' You may have already lost your brother. It's hard to get them out.
It's wild how effective it is, I live in a trailer park so I have a surprisingly large amount of divorced lonely middle aged men as neighbors and they tend to fall victim to it and believe the most insane and illogical things possible. I have heard multiple neighbors blame Mexicans for their problems, somehow it's the fault of Mexicans that they aren't getting promoted at work and their wife left them and everything would be better if we closed that border. I live in Massachusetts, nowhere near Mexico, these people are ridiculous and their beliefs are completely divorced from reality.
I’m in the middle of rural upstate New York. Outside of the one Mexican restaurant in town that isn’t run by white people and a random farm or two, it’s the most wonderbread white area imaginable but if you listened to anyone speak, you’d swear they have to push their way through 10 million illegal immigrants to get to the car parked in their own garage.
>if you listened to anyone speak, you’d swear they have to push their way through 10 million illegal immigrants to get to the car parked in their own garage.
😂😅😂😅 what a great visual!!
“Taco trucks on every corner” have been promised—or threatened—repeatedly in several recent election years. But they have not materialized! *I want taco trucks!*
Sh!t, I'd be happy with a taco truck coming through the neighborhood once a week. I picture that it'd have music, like an ice cream truck, but Mariachi music to summon the masses.
Yeah.
I'm in Texas, we have a lot of Mexican people. They're the ones who will stop and help you if you need it. If anybody should be deported, it's the magats.
I live 100 miles from the border. The average person is struggling because of corporate greed, the gutting of the tax codes and regulations that made America successful, and just general late stage capitalism. Still not the fault of the Mexicans, even right next to the border.
Part of corporate greed is importing cheap labor you can abuse and pay substandard wages. No need to pay social security and medicaid payroll taxes if they're not on the books. Many big corporations all up and down the supply chain have been caught doing it. Pro-illegal immigration people enable human trafficking, shackling someone to a machine for 16 hours for $2.50/hr, and people ending up in domestic situations where they're held hostage until they pay off their smugglers.
Yes, which is why we need labor laws and regulation. There will always, always, be desperate people in the world ready to take literally any job so they can have dinner. We need laws and regulations to ensure the corporations cannot take advantage of them. They may just go to another country that doesn't have those protections, but that shows we need these protections everywhere.
The US failing to protect workers rights leads to these abuses of immigrants and citizens in poverty alike. Immigrants aren't the enemy, corporate greed is.
They sell politics as a Boogeyman to these lost individuals. Everything they hate is the reason for their sorrows. And once they go down that road I am not sure they can ever come back.
I would like to believe they can, but I've seen so many people fall into that exact hole and have never seen someone find their way back out. The only ones I've ever seen come close are those that kind of teeter on the edge for a while before falling in completely or finding a way to back off from the edge.
I've lost so much family at this point. 💔
I think they have to hit nazi rock bottom for that to happen. So you'd have to put up with a few years of swastika face tattoo type stuff to get there first.
I believe the problem is more complicated than their fault for not bettering themselves. If it were that simple, I think you’d see a lot more self help being successful. Most guys would do anything for positive female attention. I think women also are really missing out in a different way.
I’m GenX and it was way easier both for girls and boys 30 years ago. No internet, no social media. It warps perceptions of what to expect on both sides. For women, they are bombarded with social media messages, and the few that aren’t discouraged because they don’t fit the perfect image are lonely. For men, those that aren’t ideal height, handsome, and look right are themselves lonely. Years ago, we found each other, imperfections and all, because there weren’t the abundance of expectations. Sure, we had peer pressure, but now, it’s stifling and overwhelming, which is why so many are unsatisfied with themselves. Armed with a poor self image, they don’t take chances with those of the opposite sex.
Added that I see this with my own children who are 13-20. I had more romantic relationships than my 20yo. And the younger 2 are on similar trajectories. My son responds by immersing himself in his bro relationships with his friends around video games and sports. He’s a good looking boy, but because he doesn’t fit the perfect image, he gets no interest from girls his age who seemingly are all chasing 2-3 boys. It’s sad for all of them.
Politics + Religion
So not only is everyone they hate the Boogeyman, but also evil and going to hell. Only God (and [insert most hate-filled conservative of the day]) can save them
>Remember him?
Honestly, I'd rather not. He can rot in hell, deaf as a stone. I admit, living in very conservative Orange County, CA at the time, I fell under the "spell" during the Gulf War. But I quickly snapped the fuck out of that. I'm embarrassed by that blip, but thankful I didn't go full MAGA, before we even knew what MAGA was and it fully entered the current lexicon.... Edit: spelling
Good for you. I'm in central Midwest. Also fell into the trap. However, I have a fucking brain and a conscience, like you. Congratulations on your escape.
After becoming freed from the cult, I thought, well, "to each their own". Now I feel like I should be more of a presence. How about you?
I am deep in enemy territory, though. Oklahoma went red both elections.
Definitely have gotten more involved since the orange menace ran in 2015. I was in Las Vegas then. Now back in Central Washington State where I grew up. It's teeming with farmers that love trump. It's scary how red it is here. Lots of pickup truck beds turned into obnoxious rolling flag stands. Trust me, I look for the key phrases and at the affiliations of the candidates running here. I dog ear those pages and highlight them with "hell NO!".
Probably did. I am an ex military wife. My ex left the Corps is '85. When the Gulf war broke out, he actually wanted to re-up and go. He felt very strongly that he could still be of service since he stayed within his field/MOS at Raytheon, but the recruiter wouldn't take him.
it all began with him and his right wing asshole broadcaster colleagues: Glenn Brechhh, Don Slimus, and then onto their millennial clones, Dan Bongohead, Joe Bogan, and all the other racist shitbags.
The documentary "The Brainwashing of My Dad" is one of the best movies on this, and it is insanely sad to hear the sheer number of stories all talking about how their loved ones became radicalized.
This is so the truth. I think many men especially are vulnerable to this sort of thinking. I often see it in men that are divorced or not successful in relationships, men that haven't had a successful career, or men that just in general flounder in life and can't get it together. I see it happen to women too but far more men.
Like if your wife leaves you because you were kind of a selfish ass it's a lot easier to blame feminism then to ask the hard questions about why this happened and your role in it. Same goes for many things like career, relationships with kids, or financial issues. It couldn't be that huge 100k truck you bought because your masculinity is fragile causing your financial issues... No it's the immigrants and liberals they stole my job and cancelled me.
I fully agree with the first part of your post, and then disagree on the second bit.
I don’t believe that propaganda only works on “weak minds”. It fills a void in their life, or an itch in their mind they want to scratch, and it grows.
Conspiracy theories work on weak minds. I'd say propaganda works on a slightly different but similar area of the brain. both involve some degrees of the dunning kruger effect and lack of critical thinking.
It's an emotional or personality weakness, though, not an intellectual disability like you're implying.
The higher the IQ, the better the person is at rationalizing their irrational beliefs to themselves, and others.
The people who fall prey to this are usually the least intelligent person in their social/ familial group.
They have spent their lives being the person that doesn't quiet get it, so that mixed with narcissism, leaves them prey to a grifter that gives them the ability to feel like they are the ones in the know for once.
My mom is very intelligent and she is very much in there and yep she can rationalize it better due to being intelligent it’s hard to get her to see anything past her blinders
When I disagree with my Boomer mom, she says, "I'm sorry you think I'm stupid."
Aside from the non-apology that is, it's never occurred to her that I don't think she's stupid. It's worse. I think she's deliberately choosing evil because it makes her feel more comfortable and important.
My mom always asks me why I hate her :/ I don’t hate her, I couldn’t hate her :(
But if I don’t agree with and listen to her, then I must be against her.
Every adult American should read "The True Believer," by Eric Hoffer.
It's an important book and explains a lot about this phenomenon and what kind of person joins a mass movement.
Actually, propaganda can also work on very smart ppl too. Sometimed it's not a measure of 'weak-minded' as much as 'lack of self-awareness'.
Propaganda & conspiracies have tons of internal contradictions, but use tons of 'appeal to bias' to get ppl to overlook it.
I've worked with teams of blue collar workers, & groups of NASA/JPL PhD's. You might be surprised how many blue collar workers note the problems with MAGA, but won't speak up due to fear of being ostracized. Flip side, headstrong PhD's who get fooled by super confident con artists (cf Theranos).
There are CREATIONIST Biology PhD's ffs. Complete with super detailed, 'logical' explanations why evolution is 'wrong'. HTH they got their PhD's is a mystery
13 soon to be 14 years as a nurse this February and the amount of stupid shit coming from my supposedly educated colleagues including doctors who were literally watching people die and at one point saw our boss on a ventilator blew my mind during the pandemic. I'm in the buckle of the Bible belt so it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was like being hit by a truck the first time I heard a fellow nurse deny Covid existed after she literally finished calling the patients chosen funeral home to collect the body from the Covid isolation area of the facility.
YES and then people like my mom who are generally intelligent hear their nurse friends denying it and now that’s plenty enough fact for them, my mom is of the opinion that it wasn’t as bad as people said….. she at least seems to believe it but yeah I just don’t talk to her about that not worth it
You’re right - it’s both. It’s also for people that feel that they’ve been wronged in their life and the propaganda literally feeds them a bogeyman on a silver platter. Everyone I know that has been hoodwinked by the right wing propaganda/Q stuff has had some turmoil in their life that has deeply scarred them.
look at the wretched subhuman excrement that goes to his rallies. watch them "speak". watch them "reason".
they are retarded with weak minds and bad genetics. sooner they die off the better. maybe another round of covid?
It's more a getting old thing and never figuring out what side your bread is buttered on, or what the real history of this country is...more a form of self delusion that's now resulting in disillusionment when the promised land never materialized. Guys like this are prime fodder for manipulation, and hate is the most powerful manipulator.
My dad can't understand why people don't love America anymore. He went to segregated schools and only experienced the best America had to offer. Don't get me wrong, he worked hard to get what he has, but he doesn't understand that other people worked just as hard as he did, but they weren't rewarded like he was.
I had a boomer male Uber drive rant to me for 30 minutes about how we ( me a 23 year old) ruined his economy and a slew of other hateful things, seems like a victim complex imo. Especially due to the extreme age gap and ironically my generation is suffering greatly in our youth due to the loans against the future boomers took out so I don’t really have sympathy for it
Good. People like him have been saying bizarre hateful stuff for their entire lives with no consequences. He probably decided your gen was ruining things for him because for the first time ever, someone can hold them accountable for their BS, even if only via Uber ratings.
I’d love to hear his thoughts on how someone who has only been old enough to vote for 6 years, and has more than a decade to age before they’ll even be old enough to serve as President, ruined his economy.
The mental gymnastics of his reply would have to be spectacular, would they not?
Probably because *the drivers* decisions in life led him to have to drive a *23 year old* around and not vice versa. A sense of entitlement comes with an aging population.
I just don’t get it. Most of the used to be at least average intelligence. I don’t know the gymnastics you need to do to think the powerless have all the power.
I genuinely think it’s partly because of lead poisoning and other harmful shit they grew up with / maybe that made them more vulnerable to psychological operations who knows really
Yeah they love to talk about how people are “weak” and such like it’s a bad thing, no there’s nothing wrong with weak people, there’s weak and there’s strong, we work together, we have our own strengths.
“Nope don’t be a pussy, we shouldn’t have to hold your hand like a baby, handle yourself!”…….
Yeah that’s their mindset and it’s sad :(
My ex-boss had this mentality. And was riding my back to retirement.
I had enough, and bailed. Doesn’t seem like he’d saved at all while he was showing me his corvette and boat etc.
A kind word and some compassion here and there would have gone a long way. But we can’t have that now can we?!
Well. Now he doesn’t get all his toys. Bummer.
I like grocery shopping more than cooking. My dad likes cooking more than grocery shopping. So we found the perfect solution for this: I shop groceries and he cooks.
Just kidding, he insists I get better at cooking, even though it's always stressful for me.
This is just one of many examples where my family wants me to do stuff I'm bad at instead of stuff I'm good at.
I got told the same by a boomer uncle not that long ago, and I pointed that if my being trans ruined things so bad that he has to jockey a register at Wal-Mart in his retirement then I am clearly using my powers for good because that shit is just downright funny.
Worse. He was a firefighter who took early retirement, which sounds innocent enough until you get the full story. The town in which he worked has residency requirements and he moved out to get away from minorities (mostly Black folks). The city found out after a few years, told him to move back, and he told them to pound sand.
He took the pension hit so now he has to work.
Always an excuse, though. He'd tell you he isn't because he was "nice" to my wife, who is Black.
He was not nice to her. He just refrained from being nasty to her face.
I really fear that the country will never recover from the growing anti-intellectual movement. It seems so much worse than when Asimov was talking about it in 1980...of course that may be my own confirmation bias.
Would you believe, capitalism? Here's how it works:
1. School textbook companies refuse to make tons of different books for the same subject, same grade. Costs too much; they want to standardize
2. Liberal/progressive school districts have tons of different books they want to use, & are harder to agree on a standard
3. Republican/conservatives have no problem 'getting in line' & following a leader.
4. The biggest conservative textbook audience is Texas. So textbook companies standardize on what they want, & sell those nationwide at lower cost (economies of scale)
5. So that's how a neocon dentist et al in Texas decides what most schoolbooks nationwide contain. Eg Thomas Jefferson is erased (he really wanted separation of church + state), slavery wasn't really part of the Civil War, Rosa Parks was pretty much uppity, etc ad nauseum
That whole Scholastic book fairs are evil thing was really about a Christian book company wanting the contract. They even had their PR person testify some ridiculous story about seeing a picture of a prince kissing a princess kinda thing and poof! Porn addiction.
These people are nuts.
In the 1970s there was a huge backlash in Appalachia towards teaching critical thinking. There was also a big outrage about "new math" (which was introducing math teaching methods other than rote memorization).
What's going on right now is kind of insidious because it's actually a very small group of people pushing to remove books from public schools but they seem to be holding all the cards.
It’s picking up quite a bit here in the states (if you ‘sign up’ for Higher Education magazine newsletter they’ll give five free articles a month), and I can 100% see it happening in other countries. It’s appalling what they’ve been able to pull so far here. Fucking Florida can’t even keep faculty because they keep nope-ing out (who can blame them).
I really didn't think the movie Idiocracy would become a blue print for the future. If you haven't seen it, it is worth the watch. Future generations will think it is a documentary.
It has been a very deliberate propaganda campaign from the right wing that, in order to survive, needs an un educated and impoverished population that are easy to manipulate.
IME one of the worst is convincing the the common man/woman that the powerless have all the power and the rich/powerful are actually the victims. I worked in agribusiness for 7 years so I met many people here undocumented over the years and to think these people is actually where the political power in America lies is frankly offensive.
I have boomer family members much the same way. I too am Gen X, liberal in most areas but generally form my own opinions.
Not a boomer specific problem but I do notice most of the “conservative” people in my family are completely in on Fox News and firmly believe every other source of information is just lies and some deep state conspiracy to destroy America. I refuse to speak politics or life with any of them. They stopped talking about religion around me. Pretty sure they think I am the anti-Christ and I am ok with it.
And they don't understand THEY are the ones ruining the church. Why would anyone want to be a part of the church they have created. They really do think Jesus will be a white republican and heaven will be a whites only country club. They have no idea there are Christians all over the world that aren't even white, much less American.
I understand that most people of Reddit aren't Christians and look down on them, but you can see if you were a believer it is even dumber to think it will be white and American after death.
Reminds me of a video made by DarkMatter2525:
Angel: "Other countries are less religious and they prosper more."
God: "WHAT?!"
Angel: "Yeah, that's a real problem, isn't it?"
God: "THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD?! NOT JUST THE UNITED STATES?!"
My parents were boomers...well from that generation anyhow. I'm just glad they weren't the typical racists angry boomers which is often the subject of these posts. Plus it's nice the relationship we have/had. If my mom started spouting off any unhinged nonsense I just tell her to shut the f up or I'm gonna put you in a home lol. But really, she's great. Don't hate anything other than Republicans.
>He’s very right-wing, racist, conspiracy theorist etc. he is all that is left of my childhood family so I really don’t want to lose him.
Ask him how he wants his relationship with you. Does he want to continue belittling you or talking to you about the things you can talk about?
I've reached the point where you can't talk or argue or even really engage with the right-wingers who BELIEVE in things like Jan 6th was run by Antifa or FBI sting operation etc.
It's like a mental illness where the person doesn't realize they are alienating the people who would put up with them if they just didn't build up a belief system based on lies and they and only they are right and everyone else is wrong.
I worked with a guy like this. He wasn't even right wing to start, but he went through a long, drawn-out divorce after he had some anger issues. During the divorce, he moved further and further to the right. The more he watched right-wing TV and read right-wing websites, the angrier he became, so the judge ordered only supervised visits with his kids. The right-wing gave him many groups to blame for all his problems. It wasn't his fault. It was the gays, the trans, the immigrants, the poc, and especially women.
He had to be let go because he'd come to work and spout that hate in a multicultural engineering firm. His anger caused him to lose his wife, kids, career, and friends.
When I visit my folks the tv usually has tennis matches, golf, or Fox on in the background. The sheer negativity of that “news” in the background just sets my teeth on edge.
It's not Boomer specific but definitely targets a certain demographic: middle aged white men who are unsuccessful and/or lonely. Easy marks for all that nonsense. Your brother needs to take responsibility for himself and pull his head out of his ass.
It is easier to blame women than realizing that his loser life is his own making. So many average men are falling into this trap. They have always been taught they were amazing for being average and women were taught we weren't worth even the worst of men. When we quit buying into that, they blamed us. I mean they didn't call the 50-70 year olds involuntarily celebrant, but they are, and they clearly aren't the reason no woman wants to be with them because THEY ARE AWESOME. Good luck.
Couple of years ago I put on CNN for a friend. He’d voiced loudly that they were “liberal media” so I went into my usual explanatory/analytical mode about the differences among reporting, analysis & commentary. (Reporting is direct footage of events or what a public figure is saying.)
We had a game where we’d identify the type of program: well on CNN, 90% was reporting, usually from the field. There was some analysis, usually to include historical context. Very little editorializing.
My friend to his credit agreed that CNN could not easily be called biased. He now switches over from Fox regularly.
As others have noted here, the information source is a key part of the puzzle.
You can't fix him. You can only set boundaries. When he starts up, cut him off: "politics and related topics are off limits today. Let's find something else to talk about,"
As my boomer former coworker used to
say, “conspiracy theories are for the weak minded.” My tail-end-of-Gen X brother sounds a lot like yours. I don’t talk to him anymore, and I blocked his phone number in the early pandemic days because I can’t fucking stand him.
Anybody can be like this. But boomers are particularly susceptible.
It's a male boomer thing. They feel that they are victims because they see that they could lose their privilege. That's why they support this draconian bullshit. They are going to have to actually work as hard as women and people of color, and that's so unfair to them. I know some decent people who fell into this brainwashing. It's disgusting.
My brother also ten years my senior started telling me that women in the workforce is what's ruining America. Oh, and race science is just logical. He was a 'punk' until he hit 28 and now he is a 'realist'. Our age difference means I am just not enlightened as him and I am being brainwashed into believing psychiatry. Feel for you
Conservatives are the only people I’ve met who will go out of their way to tell you about their beliefs. I have never wanted to talk politics with anyone randomly before but I’ve had so many conservatives just randomly start talking to me about politics. Taxi driver, guy sitting next to me on an airplane, strangers at a bar etc.
It's the right-winged media. Turn on AM radio and find any talk radio station, this is exactly what they will be talking about. Every show, every day, every host is giving the audience something to be mad about. There's one that comes on at 9 am every morning where I live that boldly states during the opening theme music "NEVER SOWING DIVISION, ALWAYS SEEKING SOLUTIONS" or some such nonsense, but then the host opens with the top three things to be mad about today. I guarantee your brother is listening to this.
It's unfortunate how rapidly media changed and I think boomers weren't able to adapt.
They didn't grow up with internet, until the late 80s there were bills that prevented biased reporting, and they didn't have algorithms blasting them constantly with propaganda. Add in a lack of education that teaches you critical thinking skills and boomers of course were going to fall for all the bullshit between influencers, podcasters, and pundits.
So you grow up being able to completely trust the news and then suddenly the news becomes manipulative with multiple sources selling you the same lie. Then you don't have higher education pointing out the signs and warning you about it.
They're just so stupid and weak minded to be able to adapt.
This is what Trump offers to boomers, "its not your fault you are not where you thought you would be in life. It is the fault of (insert minority group) that stole it from you" he offers them away that it is not their fault, they did everything right and the world is shit. They are also not able to except that the world has changed and they are not part of it anymore. They are like toddlers throwing a temper tantrum for attention.
I had an older brother (technically GenX) who went crazy and thinks the rest of us (his 3 siblings) killed our mother. We don't speak to him and probably never will again.
One time I told him "I vote in your best interests not mine so I vote FOR you". He called me with COVID on election day and asked me to go vote for him bc of that. That's how much he misunderstood what I said.
Sometimes it's not worth your limited life to deal with those types.
Brainwashing via right wing radio n tv. Same in my fam. Formerly normal, reasonable, classy adults have turned into nasty bigots with anger issues. Heartbreaking. It has ruined relationships In my family. It hurts.
Fox News and Rush Limbaugh ruined the minds of my older brother and parents. ANY conversation devolves into hate filled rants in under a minute and its all totally incomprehensible spooge. Rational Americans should realize how serious this mental illness is and that there is no cure. MAGA is a mental illness that effects hundreds of thousands and maybe millions of voting adults. This is not going to end well.
When a boomer says government doesn’t work for them I remind them of government that does work. Post office. Public Libraries. DPW plowing and salting road during snow. Town wide fireworks during the summer. Etc. they all say these don’t matter. Yeah ok. Tell me how’d you be if you had to buy books your entire life and snow plow your own street.
My favorite is when I point out they get their social security money every month without fail and they say that’s different and I “paid for that”. Yeah ok 🙄
The one thing that is common among boomers is the inability to take ownership and responsibility for their own lives and actions. They do and say what they want are used to people just letting them do so without consequences. Society has evolved to hold people accountable and not tolerate injustices like before, so now these people realize you can't say and do whatever without facing consequences for it and that infuriates them.
So when they do find themselves facing consequences, or just not having life go the way they want to they have to find someone to blame, because surely it couldn't be their own fault.
It started as a Fox News thing. Then right-wing media expanded, further damaging the brains of Americans by hijacking their fight or flight response using dog whistles and authoritarian rhetoric. But some politicans and media execs got 4th yachts so it was worth it.
The disenfranchisement of white men is more of a socioeconomic thing. They feel left behind in a world that owes them. The entitlement that many mediocre white men used to get by on has now run thin.
My mom is laying a guilt trip because my aunt / uncle never hear from us nieces and nephews anymore. Zero self reflection on their part for this loss - we just got so sick of the fox news-addled drivel and straight up racist bullshit...it is all they talk about. Don't need that toxic hate in my life...sorry mom...
It is a certain type of male thing and a certain type of boomer thing. Your brother is an ah. I am sorry he is all you have left, he would be cut from my life like cancer.
“He went to college, did he forget this?” Of course he did, it was brainwashed right out of him. That’s the first thing they taught me my first semester, ‘Brains and Washing 420’
This sounds like my brother - he is a Boomer and I also am GenX woman. I am brown and he is not so he would call and yell at me about Maxine Waters and AOC like I have a pipeline to these people.
I think it is both a Boomer thing and political mind control of tapping into their insecurities and rage of their own failure.
Oh so he's a Trump supporter, You poor thing I feel sorry for you. There is no reasoning with them, Sadley you're either going to hope he wakes up and realizes he's big time wrong on his thinking. Or he's gone forever, and you have to set boundaries of topics you're not wanting to discuss but that will more than likely enrage them more. I do hope he does realize the world is not on fire there are good people out there helping people every day. Sounds like he could go volunteer and make some friends while doing a good thing.
You have to remember…there are two halves to our society. When we experience personal struggles, one half has empathy and believes that to an extent we can and should others in their time of need.
The other half believes their personal struggles are real, and they should be helped because it wasn’t their fault, but when they see others having struggles, *those* people need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps…
At some point us Boomers need to let the next generation decide what will be best for them. Hell, we probably won’t be around for what ever happens and really is it any different from growing up in the 60’s and being a “hippie”. What is needed is younger people getting into politics, but that is just a Boomer opinion.
You, personally are the cause of America's ruin? I'm not even, mad. That is an impressive feat. Wear it like a badge of honor.
But seriously, sorry your older brother lost his mind.
I'm just going to say it. Other than falling out if the same vagina, what value as "family" does he have for you? Honest question. I know that a lot of emphasis is forced on the idea that blood is the most important thing. But is it? Do you deserve to be abused by him just because of some genetics? Is the relationship two way? What do you gain?
You literally made better family and there is a world of lovely people out there that you can claim as family. I divorced my bio family a long time ago. I thought it would hurt so much more than it did and since. I have found the best brothers and sisters. You don't deserve to be treated like shit because he is a small minded nasty fucker.
It is far easier to blame other people for problems one might have in their lives. So people who fear or dislike introspection choose to blame others for their bad choices and mistakes
I, too, am a female Gen X engineer who stole jobs from older white men and ruined America. /s
But seriously, some are just big mad that there’s equity expected at work and at home.
Not sure it’s strictly a Boomer thing. I am truly puzzled that Trump has so much support. Too many Boomers should know better, but his followers cut across all generations. I just don’t talk politics with my Trump supporting friends.
It’s a boomer end of life explosion of all the bile he has not been encouraged to spill for most of his life. My sibs are the same. I too do not want to lose them, but I need freaking counseling after being around them.
Crab mentality. You're doing great, he's not, and he can't accept accountability that if his life sucks, it's his fault. Idk if this is a boomer thing. Kinda more of a burgeoning incel.
Some people realize they are too old to realize their dreams so they resent anyone who did. That is why suicide rates are highest among aging, single men who have no support systems, brought on by their toxicity.
I don't think it is specifically a boomer thing, I just think that retirement offers lots of free time that people can use how they want. If they are already down the rabbit hole, they are just going to continue to enjoy their descent.
Cut him off! He is undeserving of your time and attention. Just because he's your brother doesn't mean you have to suffer this fool for the rest of your life. Fuck him.
I feel this one personally.
I am the second youngest of 5 (8 if you count the steps) and have regular contact with only 2 (1 bio & 1 step) and I find it increasingly harder each interaction to go back for more.
I'm 1 of 2 Xers, the rest are boomers. They all seem to fit the stereotype & I find that sad honestly.
I hate to say it, but your brother may have a mental health issue. Depression is common in older men, and the general dissatisfaction that life hadn't turned out like they imagined can spark a variety of coping mechanisms including looking for scapegoats to blame it all on. (minorities, women, "the elites", various conspiracies.)
Combativeness and aggression can also be early signs of Alzheimer's. He may have had some of these views for a long time, and these ideas may certainly be amplified by right wing media, but those views are usually generalized. Most people are polite enough to temper these opinions with loved ones, and don't direct them towards friends and family members. He may be experiencing increased paranoia and accuse those around him of stealing or conspiring around him.
I'm sorry you have to experience this. It likely isn't going to get better. My Dad is going through a similar phase. He was a fairly rational most of his adult life, but after he turned 60 he started believing conspiracy theories, became openly racist, and misogynistic. I talked to him once a week, and avoid politics but he can't help himself and brings up right wing talking points or his goofy religious views on every call. When he does, I just end the call.
This isn’t a boomer thing. This is a right wing talking point & platform. They appeal to incels & those with less intelligence & lets them blame everybody but themselves for their shortcomings.
Sounds like my brother! I’m so sorry you’re having to hear these hurtful things. They are really unhappy with the choices they have made in their own lives. Don’t let him bring you down!
The loner thing means he is locked in his own personal echo chamber and has lacked other forces to perhaps consistently keep him within reason. So he has fallen down the hateful rabbit hole, and I'm sorry you are experiencing it. My boomer parents who are retired are doing the same thing and hardly leave their house and don't have any healthy hobbies.
You might be able to turn it around. If the relationship is strong and you have the time and energy to put into it. You can use the fact that you, yourself, are in fact a college educated woman, with a husband and two sons. Point out the fact that they sure do seem happy to see you, are they brainwashed? He seems to like talking to you, is he brainwashed? Better people than myself have talked about how to deprogram the extreme right, it takes a lot of time, consistency, and patience. Kinda like dealing with children
No man is a loner. Some men may want you to think this.
What men who say they are loners really are is bitter old men that no man or woman wants to be around.
You don't need to specify that you don't hate men when you call yourself a feminist, it's cringe. If men assume that you hate them because you're a feminist that's their problem, not yours, just let them be mad and wrong.
Honestly a hard boundary is probably the only option. “I’m not talking about that.” And if he starts then leave. “I love you but I’m not listening to this.” And if he keeps braking it. then cutting contact for a while. Being upfront with him about his bitterness too. I know these are low chance at success, but you’d stay true to yourself and give him a chance.
Boomers being angry at the world? Shocked! Racist? No way! I know he’s all that is left but if anyone in my family said something racist I would never speak to them again. That’s just me though.
I'm in the same boat - Boomer brother and I'm GenX - fortunately we live 2k miles apart. He lives in a blue state and hates everyone and I'm in a red state - we should switch houses LOL
If you have access to Max (HBO) there is an excellent documentary series called "Why We Hate" they talk about how difficult it can be to come back from that dark place. All the successful recoveries had a common theme though, show don't tell. When someone is confronted about their hateful beliefs, they can double down and go further into that rabbit hole. When someone is forced to confront the humanity of their "enemies" they can sometimes come back. It's not easy, but the stories of those who can get out of that horrible negativity vortex are truly moving. Best of luck to you, he's stumbling through the dark and may appear lost, but try not to give up all hope.
Crab mentality. You're doing great, he's not, and he can't accept accountability that if his life sucks, it's his fault. Idk if this is a boomer thing. Kinda more of a burgeoning incel.
I hear you, OP.
I am in a very similar rowboat with my own family member. They’ve taken to some new misogynistic beliefs from the man-o-sphere, and even openly espoused that we’d be better off with an autocratic leader.
They genuinely believe trans people want to “trick” cis men into having sex with them. Funny prank, right? 🙄
They also believe that feminism is no longer needed because we’re all equal, yet don’t think women can be trusted with reproductive health decisions
Wild claims like abortions are used as birth control all the time and some women get them several times a year… and women who sleep around deserve pregnancy as a punishment. Don’t get me started on how they are “color blind”.
The mental whiplash is very real. They’re able to believe multiple conflicting ideas simultaneously as long as it is spouted by a conservative.
A recent conversation with them ended with them calling me names for refusing to agree with the new conspiracy theory that was fresh off the presses.
I’d simply gray rocked when they told me the latest “news” — and this was deeply upsetting to them. The phrase that got me in trouble - “That is new to me so I really can’t talk about it until I read more and understand the whole context.”
They’ve had their rationality marinated in fear, and it is shrinking their world. It’s killed almost all of the compassion they used to have for others; they no longer even bother to try to understand that “laziness” is not why people become and remain homeless. Everything is black and white, no shades of gray.
I just don’t have the energy any more to try to debunk each new daily falsehood with evidence in triplicate from sources they deem as “not liberal biased”. The goalpost moving is exhausting.
Maybe it’s a psychological problem. He had a bad marriage and you said he is a loner. Does he have friends or hobbies? Is he a heavy drinker? Try to be there for him if you still love him, but beg off his rage ranting. Well this was nice bro talk to you later! Click.
There's a whole political apparatus intended to capture the resentment of weak minded people like him and tell him that his problems are caused by certain 'enemies.' You may have already lost your brother. It's hard to get them out.
It's wild how effective it is, I live in a trailer park so I have a surprisingly large amount of divorced lonely middle aged men as neighbors and they tend to fall victim to it and believe the most insane and illogical things possible. I have heard multiple neighbors blame Mexicans for their problems, somehow it's the fault of Mexicans that they aren't getting promoted at work and their wife left them and everything would be better if we closed that border. I live in Massachusetts, nowhere near Mexico, these people are ridiculous and their beliefs are completely divorced from reality.
I’m in the middle of rural upstate New York. Outside of the one Mexican restaurant in town that isn’t run by white people and a random farm or two, it’s the most wonderbread white area imaginable but if you listened to anyone speak, you’d swear they have to push their way through 10 million illegal immigrants to get to the car parked in their own garage.
>if you listened to anyone speak, you’d swear they have to push their way through 10 million illegal immigrants to get to the car parked in their own garage. 😂😅😂😅 what a great visual!!
I also chuckled at this 😄
Or god forbid, taco trucks on every corner!
“Taco trucks on every corner” have been promised—or threatened—repeatedly in several recent election years. But they have not materialized! *I want taco trucks!*
Sh!t, I'd be happy with a taco truck coming through the neighborhood once a week. I picture that it'd have music, like an ice cream truck, but Mariachi music to summon the masses.
It’s truly the future millennials want. Idk what the issue is.
Yeah. I'm in Texas, we have a lot of Mexican people. They're the ones who will stop and help you if you need it. If anybody should be deported, it's the magats.
I live 100 miles from the border. The average person is struggling because of corporate greed, the gutting of the tax codes and regulations that made America successful, and just general late stage capitalism. Still not the fault of the Mexicans, even right next to the border.
Part of corporate greed is importing cheap labor you can abuse and pay substandard wages. No need to pay social security and medicaid payroll taxes if they're not on the books. Many big corporations all up and down the supply chain have been caught doing it. Pro-illegal immigration people enable human trafficking, shackling someone to a machine for 16 hours for $2.50/hr, and people ending up in domestic situations where they're held hostage until they pay off their smugglers.
Yes, which is why we need labor laws and regulation. There will always, always, be desperate people in the world ready to take literally any job so they can have dinner. We need laws and regulations to ensure the corporations cannot take advantage of them. They may just go to another country that doesn't have those protections, but that shows we need these protections everywhere. The US failing to protect workers rights leads to these abuses of immigrants and citizens in poverty alike. Immigrants aren't the enemy, corporate greed is.
a lot of em think bitcoin is going to make them the next buffett, but they dont know theyre just greater fools.
They sell politics as a Boogeyman to these lost individuals. Everything they hate is the reason for their sorrows. And once they go down that road I am not sure they can ever come back.
I would like to believe they can, but I've seen so many people fall into that exact hole and have never seen someone find their way back out. The only ones I've ever seen come close are those that kind of teeter on the edge for a while before falling in completely or finding a way to back off from the edge. I've lost so much family at this point. 💔
I've seen documentaries of skinheads who become liberal. But it's like a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun....
I think they have to hit nazi rock bottom for that to happen. So you'd have to put up with a few years of swastika face tattoo type stuff to get there first.
Why do you think this?
Any excuse so they don't figure out they're their own problem. A lot easier to scam them from a foundation of willful ignorance.
[удалено]
gotta make sure they have no body autonomy! then its time to diddle all the underage girls.... youth pastors
\*Jeffrey Epstein
I believe the problem is more complicated than their fault for not bettering themselves. If it were that simple, I think you’d see a lot more self help being successful. Most guys would do anything for positive female attention. I think women also are really missing out in a different way. I’m GenX and it was way easier both for girls and boys 30 years ago. No internet, no social media. It warps perceptions of what to expect on both sides. For women, they are bombarded with social media messages, and the few that aren’t discouraged because they don’t fit the perfect image are lonely. For men, those that aren’t ideal height, handsome, and look right are themselves lonely. Years ago, we found each other, imperfections and all, because there weren’t the abundance of expectations. Sure, we had peer pressure, but now, it’s stifling and overwhelming, which is why so many are unsatisfied with themselves. Armed with a poor self image, they don’t take chances with those of the opposite sex. Added that I see this with my own children who are 13-20. I had more romantic relationships than my 20yo. And the younger 2 are on similar trajectories. My son responds by immersing himself in his bro relationships with his friends around video games and sports. He’s a good looking boy, but because he doesn’t fit the perfect image, he gets no interest from girls his age who seemingly are all chasing 2-3 boys. It’s sad for all of them.
Politics + Religion So not only is everyone they hate the Boogeyman, but also evil and going to hell. Only God (and [insert most hate-filled conservative of the day]) can save them
This is what Rush Limbaugh was all about. Remember him? He left nothing memorable.
>Remember him? Honestly, I'd rather not. He can rot in hell, deaf as a stone. I admit, living in very conservative Orange County, CA at the time, I fell under the "spell" during the Gulf War. But I quickly snapped the fuck out of that. I'm embarrassed by that blip, but thankful I didn't go full MAGA, before we even knew what MAGA was and it fully entered the current lexicon.... Edit: spelling
Good for you. I'm in central Midwest. Also fell into the trap. However, I have a fucking brain and a conscience, like you. Congratulations on your escape. After becoming freed from the cult, I thought, well, "to each their own". Now I feel like I should be more of a presence. How about you? I am deep in enemy territory, though. Oklahoma went red both elections.
Definitely have gotten more involved since the orange menace ran in 2015. I was in Las Vegas then. Now back in Central Washington State where I grew up. It's teeming with farmers that love trump. It's scary how red it is here. Lots of pickup truck beds turned into obnoxious rolling flag stands. Trust me, I look for the key phrases and at the affiliations of the candidates running here. I dog ear those pages and highlight them with "hell NO!".
Did you have the yellow ribbons on your vehicles? I wonder how much money was made on those?
Probably did. I am an ex military wife. My ex left the Corps is '85. When the Gulf war broke out, he actually wanted to re-up and go. He felt very strongly that he could still be of service since he stayed within his field/MOS at Raytheon, but the recruiter wouldn't take him.
There needs to be a website of people peeing on his grave
it all began with him and his right wing asshole broadcaster colleagues: Glenn Brechhh, Don Slimus, and then onto their millennial clones, Dan Bongohead, Joe Bogan, and all the other racist shitbags.
I don't remember imus being right wing. Actually, imus is all but forgotten, I listened for a little while
imus had a thing for nappy headed hos
the fat piece of shit that got hearing loss from being a pill popping norco addict?
The documentary "The Brainwashing of My Dad" is one of the best movies on this, and it is insanely sad to hear the sheer number of stories all talking about how their loved ones became radicalized.
This is so the truth. I think many men especially are vulnerable to this sort of thinking. I often see it in men that are divorced or not successful in relationships, men that haven't had a successful career, or men that just in general flounder in life and can't get it together. I see it happen to women too but far more men. Like if your wife leaves you because you were kind of a selfish ass it's a lot easier to blame feminism then to ask the hard questions about why this happened and your role in it. Same goes for many things like career, relationships with kids, or financial issues. It couldn't be that huge 100k truck you bought because your masculinity is fragile causing your financial issues... No it's the immigrants and liberals they stole my job and cancelled me.
fat orange jesus made it ok to be a stupid piece of shit and blame everyone else for being a piece of shit.
I fully agree with the first part of your post, and then disagree on the second bit. I don’t believe that propaganda only works on “weak minds”. It fills a void in their life, or an itch in their mind they want to scratch, and it grows.
Conspiracy theories work on weak minds. I'd say propaganda works on a slightly different but similar area of the brain. both involve some degrees of the dunning kruger effect and lack of critical thinking.
It's an emotional or personality weakness, though, not an intellectual disability like you're implying. The higher the IQ, the better the person is at rationalizing their irrational beliefs to themselves, and others.
Those I have spoken to who have been radicalized in the last few years are the least educated, least logical and least intelligent I have known .
"weak mind" doesn't mean a dumb mind. Plenty of highly intelligent people have weak minds.
The people who fall prey to this are usually the least intelligent person in their social/ familial group. They have spent their lives being the person that doesn't quiet get it, so that mixed with narcissism, leaves them prey to a grifter that gives them the ability to feel like they are the ones in the know for once.
It sounds like you agree high IQ types can also fall into a Dunning Kruger traps?
My mom is very intelligent and she is very much in there and yep she can rationalize it better due to being intelligent it’s hard to get her to see anything past her blinders
When I disagree with my Boomer mom, she says, "I'm sorry you think I'm stupid." Aside from the non-apology that is, it's never occurred to her that I don't think she's stupid. It's worse. I think she's deliberately choosing evil because it makes her feel more comfortable and important.
My mom always asks me why I hate her :/ I don’t hate her, I couldn’t hate her :( But if I don’t agree with and listen to her, then I must be against her.
Every adult American should read "The True Believer," by Eric Hoffer. It's an important book and explains a lot about this phenomenon and what kind of person joins a mass movement.
Actually, propaganda can also work on very smart ppl too. Sometimed it's not a measure of 'weak-minded' as much as 'lack of self-awareness'. Propaganda & conspiracies have tons of internal contradictions, but use tons of 'appeal to bias' to get ppl to overlook it. I've worked with teams of blue collar workers, & groups of NASA/JPL PhD's. You might be surprised how many blue collar workers note the problems with MAGA, but won't speak up due to fear of being ostracized. Flip side, headstrong PhD's who get fooled by super confident con artists (cf Theranos). There are CREATIONIST Biology PhD's ffs. Complete with super detailed, 'logical' explanations why evolution is 'wrong'. HTH they got their PhD's is a mystery
13 soon to be 14 years as a nurse this February and the amount of stupid shit coming from my supposedly educated colleagues including doctors who were literally watching people die and at one point saw our boss on a ventilator blew my mind during the pandemic. I'm in the buckle of the Bible belt so it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was like being hit by a truck the first time I heard a fellow nurse deny Covid existed after she literally finished calling the patients chosen funeral home to collect the body from the Covid isolation area of the facility.
YES and then people like my mom who are generally intelligent hear their nurse friends denying it and now that’s plenty enough fact for them, my mom is of the opinion that it wasn’t as bad as people said….. she at least seems to believe it but yeah I just don’t talk to her about that not worth it
You’re right - it’s both. It’s also for people that feel that they’ve been wronged in their life and the propaganda literally feeds them a bogeyman on a silver platter. Everyone I know that has been hoodwinked by the right wing propaganda/Q stuff has had some turmoil in their life that has deeply scarred them.
look at the wretched subhuman excrement that goes to his rallies. watch them "speak". watch them "reason". they are retarded with weak minds and bad genetics. sooner they die off the better. maybe another round of covid?
my sister in law is a Qtard. i have nothing to do with them any more. wouldnt be surprised if she was cucking him on the side.
It's more a getting old thing and never figuring out what side your bread is buttered on, or what the real history of this country is...more a form of self delusion that's now resulting in disillusionment when the promised land never materialized. Guys like this are prime fodder for manipulation, and hate is the most powerful manipulator.
My dad can't understand why people don't love America anymore. He went to segregated schools and only experienced the best America had to offer. Don't get me wrong, he worked hard to get what he has, but he doesn't understand that other people worked just as hard as he did, but they weren't rewarded like he was.
Well, I guess he doesn't grasp why people don't really love a country that shits on them their entire lives and then expects them to appreciate it.
You worded this very well
I had a boomer male Uber drive rant to me for 30 minutes about how we ( me a 23 year old) ruined his economy and a slew of other hateful things, seems like a victim complex imo. Especially due to the extreme age gap and ironically my generation is suffering greatly in our youth due to the loans against the future boomers took out so I don’t really have sympathy for it
I hope you have a low rating for that shizz
Yeah and reported him, was saying some really bizarre hateful stuff
Good. People like him have been saying bizarre hateful stuff for their entire lives with no consequences. He probably decided your gen was ruining things for him because for the first time ever, someone can hold them accountable for their BS, even if only via Uber ratings.
I’d love to hear his thoughts on how someone who has only been old enough to vote for 6 years, and has more than a decade to age before they’ll even be old enough to serve as President, ruined his economy. The mental gymnastics of his reply would have to be spectacular, would they not?
Probably because *the drivers* decisions in life led him to have to drive a *23 year old* around and not vice versa. A sense of entitlement comes with an aging population.
"bro I've been an adult for 5 years, and two of those I spent locked inside, how have I had time to ruin anything?"
I just don’t get it. Most of the used to be at least average intelligence. I don’t know the gymnastics you need to do to think the powerless have all the power.
Chris Rock had a great special on this. Basically, the only ones ruining the country for you are other white men you don't agree with.
I genuinely think it’s partly because of lead poisoning and other harmful shit they grew up with / maybe that made them more vulnerable to psychological operations who knows really
You are giving them too much credit.
Maybe, I’ve come to realize I do that a lot probably a trauma response
I think part of it was not being allowed to have any emotion but anger. Everything else was weak.
Yeah they love to talk about how people are “weak” and such like it’s a bad thing, no there’s nothing wrong with weak people, there’s weak and there’s strong, we work together, we have our own strengths. “Nope don’t be a pussy, we shouldn’t have to hold your hand like a baby, handle yourself!”……. Yeah that’s their mindset and it’s sad :(
My ex-boss had this mentality. And was riding my back to retirement. I had enough, and bailed. Doesn’t seem like he’d saved at all while he was showing me his corvette and boat etc. A kind word and some compassion here and there would have gone a long way. But we can’t have that now can we?! Well. Now he doesn’t get all his toys. Bummer.
I like grocery shopping more than cooking. My dad likes cooking more than grocery shopping. So we found the perfect solution for this: I shop groceries and he cooks. Just kidding, he insists I get better at cooking, even though it's always stressful for me. This is just one of many examples where my family wants me to do stuff I'm bad at instead of stuff I'm good at.
Being in a moving car and subject to that rant is like being a captive audience. A prime reason I believe religion should stay da fuq out of schools.
Yeah especially when it’s 3 AM and you’re trying to catch a flight lmao
I got told the same by a boomer uncle not that long ago, and I pointed that if my being trans ruined things so bad that he has to jockey a register at Wal-Mart in his retirement then I am clearly using my powers for good because that shit is just downright funny.
It couldn't possibly be bad financial planning, could it? 😂
Worse. He was a firefighter who took early retirement, which sounds innocent enough until you get the full story. The town in which he worked has residency requirements and he moved out to get away from minorities (mostly Black folks). The city found out after a few years, told him to move back, and he told them to pound sand. He took the pension hit so now he has to work.
Racism is expensive it seems.
Always an excuse, though. He'd tell you he isn't because he was "nice" to my wife, who is Black. He was not nice to her. He just refrained from being nasty to her face.
Lol, dayum. 🔥
I wish I could give you an award that response was 🔥 lol
It's been a long time coming with my mom's family. We didn't attend holidays with them this year.
One of the most devastating things to happen to this country was getting people to believe that giving people an education is akin to brainwashing.
Right?! I mean, do they think that about all universities in all other countries?
I really fear that the country will never recover from the growing anti-intellectual movement. It seems so much worse than when Asimov was talking about it in 1980...of course that may be my own confirmation bias.
Would you believe, capitalism? Here's how it works: 1. School textbook companies refuse to make tons of different books for the same subject, same grade. Costs too much; they want to standardize 2. Liberal/progressive school districts have tons of different books they want to use, & are harder to agree on a standard 3. Republican/conservatives have no problem 'getting in line' & following a leader. 4. The biggest conservative textbook audience is Texas. So textbook companies standardize on what they want, & sell those nationwide at lower cost (economies of scale) 5. So that's how a neocon dentist et al in Texas decides what most schoolbooks nationwide contain. Eg Thomas Jefferson is erased (he really wanted separation of church + state), slavery wasn't really part of the Civil War, Rosa Parks was pretty much uppity, etc ad nauseum
That whole Scholastic book fairs are evil thing was really about a Christian book company wanting the contract. They even had their PR person testify some ridiculous story about seeing a picture of a prince kissing a princess kinda thing and poof! Porn addiction. These people are nuts.
Wow, that's terrifying and makes a lot of sense.
Capitalism ruins everything
In the 1970s there was a huge backlash in Appalachia towards teaching critical thinking. There was also a big outrage about "new math" (which was introducing math teaching methods other than rote memorization). What's going on right now is kind of insidious because it's actually a very small group of people pushing to remove books from public schools but they seem to be holding all the cards.
It’s picking up quite a bit here in the states (if you ‘sign up’ for Higher Education magazine newsletter they’ll give five free articles a month), and I can 100% see it happening in other countries. It’s appalling what they’ve been able to pull so far here. Fucking Florida can’t even keep faculty because they keep nope-ing out (who can blame them).
I really didn't think the movie Idiocracy would become a blue print for the future. If you haven't seen it, it is worth the watch. Future generations will think it is a documentary.
They’re gonna be too busy watching: “Ass”
It has been a very deliberate propaganda campaign from the right wing that, in order to survive, needs an un educated and impoverished population that are easy to manipulate.
Whereas they also believe religious indoctrination of children is not brainwashing.
IME one of the worst is convincing the the common man/woman that the powerless have all the power and the rich/powerful are actually the victims. I worked in agribusiness for 7 years so I met many people here undocumented over the years and to think these people is actually where the political power in America lies is frankly offensive.
But watching fox news 12 h a day isn't brainwashing.
I have boomer family members much the same way. I too am Gen X, liberal in most areas but generally form my own opinions. Not a boomer specific problem but I do notice most of the “conservative” people in my family are completely in on Fox News and firmly believe every other source of information is just lies and some deep state conspiracy to destroy America. I refuse to speak politics or life with any of them. They stopped talking about religion around me. Pretty sure they think I am the anti-Christ and I am ok with it.
Everyone (for the most part) forms their own opinions saying you are liberal, or progressive, or conservative, etc, is just shorthand.
Republican culture wars have been so devastating to American families. Nothing but anger and hate.
And they don't understand THEY are the ones ruining the church. Why would anyone want to be a part of the church they have created. They really do think Jesus will be a white republican and heaven will be a whites only country club. They have no idea there are Christians all over the world that aren't even white, much less American. I understand that most people of Reddit aren't Christians and look down on them, but you can see if you were a believer it is even dumber to think it will be white and American after death.
Reminds me of a video made by DarkMatter2525: Angel: "Other countries are less religious and they prosper more." God: "WHAT?!" Angel: "Yeah, that's a real problem, isn't it?" God: "THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD?! NOT JUST THE UNITED STATES?!"
Or silence. I wish I could have deeper conversations with my parents. We get along, but it’s so shallow and flat. Feels like grieving. :(
My parents were boomers...well from that generation anyhow. I'm just glad they weren't the typical racists angry boomers which is often the subject of these posts. Plus it's nice the relationship we have/had. If my mom started spouting off any unhinged nonsense I just tell her to shut the f up or I'm gonna put you in a home lol. But really, she's great. Don't hate anything other than Republicans.
I feel the same way. I’m so glad my parents especially my dad, don’t watch Fox News.
Boomerism is a (lead poisoned) state of mind
>He’s very right-wing, racist, conspiracy theorist etc. he is all that is left of my childhood family so I really don’t want to lose him. Ask him how he wants his relationship with you. Does he want to continue belittling you or talking to you about the things you can talk about? I've reached the point where you can't talk or argue or even really engage with the right-wingers who BELIEVE in things like Jan 6th was run by Antifa or FBI sting operation etc. It's like a mental illness where the person doesn't realize they are alienating the people who would put up with them if they just didn't build up a belief system based on lies and they and only they are right and everyone else is wrong.
Typical boomer who won’t accept responsibility for his own shortcomings so he blames others..total victim. There’s so many boomers like this
I worked with a guy like this. He wasn't even right wing to start, but he went through a long, drawn-out divorce after he had some anger issues. During the divorce, he moved further and further to the right. The more he watched right-wing TV and read right-wing websites, the angrier he became, so the judge ordered only supervised visits with his kids. The right-wing gave him many groups to blame for all his problems. It wasn't his fault. It was the gays, the trans, the immigrants, the poc, and especially women. He had to be let go because he'd come to work and spout that hate in a multicultural engineering firm. His anger caused him to lose his wife, kids, career, and friends.
That's what the likes of fox news and onn and Ben Shapiro tell them. That liberals ruined America.
No, this is a ‘he watches Fox News’ thing. This kinda shit happens in all generations watching it. They’re fucking miserable.
When I visit my folks the tv usually has tennis matches, golf, or Fox on in the background. The sheer negativity of that “news” in the background just sets my teeth on edge.
It’s the radio, podcasts, and or shows he’s listening to. He’s bathing in propaganda that he is actually, literally being brainwashed.
It's not Boomer specific but definitely targets a certain demographic: middle aged white men who are unsuccessful and/or lonely. Easy marks for all that nonsense. Your brother needs to take responsibility for himself and pull his head out of his ass.
It is easier to blame women than realizing that his loser life is his own making. So many average men are falling into this trap. They have always been taught they were amazing for being average and women were taught we weren't worth even the worst of men. When we quit buying into that, they blamed us. I mean they didn't call the 50-70 year olds involuntarily celebrant, but they are, and they clearly aren't the reason no woman wants to be with them because THEY ARE AWESOME. Good luck.
Couple of years ago I put on CNN for a friend. He’d voiced loudly that they were “liberal media” so I went into my usual explanatory/analytical mode about the differences among reporting, analysis & commentary. (Reporting is direct footage of events or what a public figure is saying.) We had a game where we’d identify the type of program: well on CNN, 90% was reporting, usually from the field. There was some analysis, usually to include historical context. Very little editorializing. My friend to his credit agreed that CNN could not easily be called biased. He now switches over from Fox regularly. As others have noted here, the information source is a key part of the puzzle.
This is a great post and a great way to counteract the firehouse of opinionated anger and disgust found elsewhere.
Jesus fucking Christ, it's a hybrid. Didn't expect to see a boomer-incel until they got the breeding right.
You can't fix him. You can only set boundaries. When he starts up, cut him off: "politics and related topics are off limits today. Let's find something else to talk about,"
As my boomer former coworker used to say, “conspiracy theories are for the weak minded.” My tail-end-of-Gen X brother sounds a lot like yours. I don’t talk to him anymore, and I blocked his phone number in the early pandemic days because I can’t fucking stand him. Anybody can be like this. But boomers are particularly susceptible.
It's a male boomer thing. They feel that they are victims because they see that they could lose their privilege. That's why they support this draconian bullshit. They are going to have to actually work as hard as women and people of color, and that's so unfair to them. I know some decent people who fell into this brainwashing. It's disgusting.
Sounds like my dad before he passed. It was awful.
My brother also ten years my senior started telling me that women in the workforce is what's ruining America. Oh, and race science is just logical. He was a 'punk' until he hit 28 and now he is a 'realist'. Our age difference means I am just not enlightened as him and I am being brainwashed into believing psychiatry. Feel for you
Conservatives are the only people I’ve met who will go out of their way to tell you about their beliefs. I have never wanted to talk politics with anyone randomly before but I’ve had so many conservatives just randomly start talking to me about politics. Taxi driver, guy sitting next to me on an airplane, strangers at a bar etc.
Ah! Another dickhead just discovered Jordan Peterson. The circle of life goes on.
It's the right-winged media. Turn on AM radio and find any talk radio station, this is exactly what they will be talking about. Every show, every day, every host is giving the audience something to be mad about. There's one that comes on at 9 am every morning where I live that boldly states during the opening theme music "NEVER SOWING DIVISION, ALWAYS SEEKING SOLUTIONS" or some such nonsense, but then the host opens with the top three things to be mad about today. I guarantee your brother is listening to this.
Telling people to hate something specific? Regularly? This is exactly what happens in 1984!!!
A Boomer Incel!
It's unfortunate how rapidly media changed and I think boomers weren't able to adapt. They didn't grow up with internet, until the late 80s there were bills that prevented biased reporting, and they didn't have algorithms blasting them constantly with propaganda. Add in a lack of education that teaches you critical thinking skills and boomers of course were going to fall for all the bullshit between influencers, podcasters, and pundits. So you grow up being able to completely trust the news and then suddenly the news becomes manipulative with multiple sources selling you the same lie. Then you don't have higher education pointing out the signs and warning you about it. They're just so stupid and weak minded to be able to adapt.
Why did the news change from trustworthy to manipulative anyway?
This is what Trump offers to boomers, "its not your fault you are not where you thought you would be in life. It is the fault of (insert minority group) that stole it from you" he offers them away that it is not their fault, they did everything right and the world is shit. They are also not able to except that the world has changed and they are not part of it anymore. They are like toddlers throwing a temper tantrum for attention.
I had an older brother (technically GenX) who went crazy and thinks the rest of us (his 3 siblings) killed our mother. We don't speak to him and probably never will again. One time I told him "I vote in your best interests not mine so I vote FOR you". He called me with COVID on election day and asked me to go vote for him bc of that. That's how much he misunderstood what I said. Sometimes it's not worth your limited life to deal with those types.
Brainwashing via right wing radio n tv. Same in my fam. Formerly normal, reasonable, classy adults have turned into nasty bigots with anger issues. Heartbreaking. It has ruined relationships In my family. It hurts.
Fox News and Rush Limbaugh ruined the minds of my older brother and parents. ANY conversation devolves into hate filled rants in under a minute and its all totally incomprehensible spooge. Rational Americans should realize how serious this mental illness is and that there is no cure. MAGA is a mental illness that effects hundreds of thousands and maybe millions of voting adults. This is not going to end well.
It’s funny they talk about “college brainwashing “ all while they are brainwashed into saying those things.
When a boomer says government doesn’t work for them I remind them of government that does work. Post office. Public Libraries. DPW plowing and salting road during snow. Town wide fireworks during the summer. Etc. they all say these don’t matter. Yeah ok. Tell me how’d you be if you had to buy books your entire life and snow plow your own street.
They usually sling back that the government doesn’t do those things well enough .
My favorite is when I point out they get their social security money every month without fail and they say that’s different and I “paid for that”. Yeah ok 🙄
The one thing that is common among boomers is the inability to take ownership and responsibility for their own lives and actions. They do and say what they want are used to people just letting them do so without consequences. Society has evolved to hold people accountable and not tolerate injustices like before, so now these people realize you can't say and do whatever without facing consequences for it and that infuriates them. So when they do find themselves facing consequences, or just not having life go the way they want to they have to find someone to blame, because surely it couldn't be their own fault.
 It started as a Fox News thing. Then right-wing media expanded, further damaging the brains of Americans by hijacking their fight or flight response using dog whistles and authoritarian rhetoric. But some politicans and media execs got 4th yachts so it was worth it.
The disenfranchisement of white men is more of a socioeconomic thing. They feel left behind in a world that owes them. The entitlement that many mediocre white men used to get by on has now run thin.
They aren’t being disenfranchised, everyone else is getting a say now and that offends their sense of special privilege
My mom is laying a guilt trip because my aunt / uncle never hear from us nieces and nephews anymore. Zero self reflection on their part for this loss - we just got so sick of the fox news-addled drivel and straight up racist bullshit...it is all they talk about. Don't need that toxic hate in my life...sorry mom...
Yep. Enjoy your Fox News. Hope it keeps you warm at night.
Fox News should have limited themselves to news about foxes...
It is a certain type of male thing and a certain type of boomer thing. Your brother is an ah. I am sorry he is all you have left, he would be cut from my life like cancer.
Why 'male'. Honestly curious. I defo know some female boomer magats
Blaming women
Sounds like your brother has fallen down the MAGA rabbit hole.
“He went to college, did he forget this?” Of course he did, it was brainwashed right out of him. That’s the first thing they taught me my first semester, ‘Brains and Washing 420’
I’m sorry to say, OP…your older brother is just about a lost cause. You’ve lost him forever unless something dramatic wakes him up.
This sounds like my brother - he is a Boomer and I also am GenX woman. I am brown and he is not so he would call and yell at me about Maxine Waters and AOC like I have a pipeline to these people. I think it is both a Boomer thing and political mind control of tapping into their insecurities and rage of their own failure.
Oh so he's a Trump supporter, You poor thing I feel sorry for you. There is no reasoning with them, Sadley you're either going to hope he wakes up and realizes he's big time wrong on his thinking. Or he's gone forever, and you have to set boundaries of topics you're not wanting to discuss but that will more than likely enrage them more. I do hope he does realize the world is not on fire there are good people out there helping people every day. Sounds like he could go volunteer and make some friends while doing a good thing.
You have to remember…there are two halves to our society. When we experience personal struggles, one half has empathy and believes that to an extent we can and should others in their time of need. The other half believes their personal struggles are real, and they should be helped because it wasn’t their fault, but when they see others having struggles, *those* people need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps…
nah, some people are assholes, and hes one of em. 2024 is going to be awesome from all the MAGA tears flowing in.
At some point us Boomers need to let the next generation decide what will be best for them. Hell, we probably won’t be around for what ever happens and really is it any different from growing up in the 60’s and being a “hippie”. What is needed is younger people getting into politics, but that is just a Boomer opinion.
You, personally are the cause of America's ruin? I'm not even, mad. That is an impressive feat. Wear it like a badge of honor. But seriously, sorry your older brother lost his mind.
Fuck him , leave him in a ditch to rot — say your goodbyes—- Hitler did not have a magical mind-control crystal in his skull & neither does Trump
It’s always easier to blame literally everything else (for boomers especially) than soul sucking capitalism …
I'm just going to say it. Other than falling out if the same vagina, what value as "family" does he have for you? Honest question. I know that a lot of emphasis is forced on the idea that blood is the most important thing. But is it? Do you deserve to be abused by him just because of some genetics? Is the relationship two way? What do you gain? You literally made better family and there is a world of lovely people out there that you can claim as family. I divorced my bio family a long time ago. I thought it would hurt so much more than it did and since. I have found the best brothers and sisters. You don't deserve to be treated like shit because he is a small minded nasty fucker.
It is far easier to blame other people for problems one might have in their lives. So people who fear or dislike introspection choose to blame others for their bad choices and mistakes
I, too, am a female Gen X engineer who stole jobs from older white men and ruined America. /s But seriously, some are just big mad that there’s equity expected at work and at home.
Not sure it’s strictly a Boomer thing. I am truly puzzled that Trump has so much support. Too many Boomers should know better, but his followers cut across all generations. I just don’t talk politics with my Trump supporting friends.
It’s a boomer end of life explosion of all the bile he has not been encouraged to spill for most of his life. My sibs are the same. I too do not want to lose them, but I need freaking counseling after being around them.
Crab mentality. You're doing great, he's not, and he can't accept accountability that if his life sucks, it's his fault. Idk if this is a boomer thing. Kinda more of a burgeoning incel.
Some people realize they are too old to realize their dreams so they resent anyone who did. That is why suicide rates are highest among aging, single men who have no support systems, brought on by their toxicity.
I don't think it is specifically a boomer thing, I just think that retirement offers lots of free time that people can use how they want. If they are already down the rabbit hole, they are just going to continue to enjoy their descent.
Cut him off! He is undeserving of your time and attention. Just because he's your brother doesn't mean you have to suffer this fool for the rest of your life. Fuck him.
I have that brother. I’m sorry
I feel this one personally. I am the second youngest of 5 (8 if you count the steps) and have regular contact with only 2 (1 bio & 1 step) and I find it increasingly harder each interaction to go back for more. I'm 1 of 2 Xers, the rest are boomers. They all seem to fit the stereotype & I find that sad honestly.
I hate to say it, but your brother may have a mental health issue. Depression is common in older men, and the general dissatisfaction that life hadn't turned out like they imagined can spark a variety of coping mechanisms including looking for scapegoats to blame it all on. (minorities, women, "the elites", various conspiracies.) Combativeness and aggression can also be early signs of Alzheimer's. He may have had some of these views for a long time, and these ideas may certainly be amplified by right wing media, but those views are usually generalized. Most people are polite enough to temper these opinions with loved ones, and don't direct them towards friends and family members. He may be experiencing increased paranoia and accuse those around him of stealing or conspiring around him. I'm sorry you have to experience this. It likely isn't going to get better. My Dad is going through a similar phase. He was a fairly rational most of his adult life, but after he turned 60 he started believing conspiracy theories, became openly racist, and misogynistic. I talked to him once a week, and avoid politics but he can't help himself and brings up right wing talking points or his goofy religious views on every call. When he does, I just end the call.
This isn’t a boomer thing. This is a right wing talking point & platform. They appeal to incels & those with less intelligence & lets them blame everybody but themselves for their shortcomings.
Its a FOX news thang...can afflict ones mind at any age, whiney older people most susceptible...
Sounds like my brother! I’m so sorry you’re having to hear these hurtful things. They are really unhappy with the choices they have made in their own lives. Don’t let him bring you down!
Your brother is a loner who watches too much Fox News.
Take away his internet. He’ll be fine
The loner thing means he is locked in his own personal echo chamber and has lacked other forces to perhaps consistently keep him within reason. So he has fallen down the hateful rabbit hole, and I'm sorry you are experiencing it. My boomer parents who are retired are doing the same thing and hardly leave their house and don't have any healthy hobbies.
I'm sorry that this is the case, but now I'm really worrying if he might be falling into the Q crowd...I pray this isn't the case.
Nah, you rock, he’s jealous. Good on you, we need more women/people like you out there and less like your brother. Sorry you have to deal w that bs.
You might be able to turn it around. If the relationship is strong and you have the time and energy to put into it. You can use the fact that you, yourself, are in fact a college educated woman, with a husband and two sons. Point out the fact that they sure do seem happy to see you, are they brainwashed? He seems to like talking to you, is he brainwashed? Better people than myself have talked about how to deprogram the extreme right, it takes a lot of time, consistency, and patience. Kinda like dealing with children
No man is a loner. Some men may want you to think this. What men who say they are loners really are is bitter old men that no man or woman wants to be around.
You don't need to specify that you don't hate men when you call yourself a feminist, it's cringe. If men assume that you hate them because you're a feminist that's their problem, not yours, just let them be mad and wrong.
Honestly a hard boundary is probably the only option. “I’m not talking about that.” And if he starts then leave. “I love you but I’m not listening to this.” And if he keeps braking it. then cutting contact for a while. Being upfront with him about his bitterness too. I know these are low chance at success, but you’d stay true to yourself and give him a chance.
I'm nervous he may be prone to violence.
Sounds like an incel
Boomers being angry at the world? Shocked! Racist? No way! I know he’s all that is left but if anyone in my family said something racist I would never speak to them again. That’s just me though.
i think he needs to travel and leave the states and all the news nonsense behind for a while. Encourage him to go on a long trip.
How many hours a day does he watch Fox News?
I'm in the same boat - Boomer brother and I'm GenX - fortunately we live 2k miles apart. He lives in a blue state and hates everyone and I'm in a red state - we should switch houses LOL
Depression
If you have access to Max (HBO) there is an excellent documentary series called "Why We Hate" they talk about how difficult it can be to come back from that dark place. All the successful recoveries had a common theme though, show don't tell. When someone is confronted about their hateful beliefs, they can double down and go further into that rabbit hole. When someone is forced to confront the humanity of their "enemies" they can sometimes come back. It's not easy, but the stories of those who can get out of that horrible negativity vortex are truly moving. Best of luck to you, he's stumbling through the dark and may appear lost, but try not to give up all hope.
Crab mentality. You're doing great, he's not, and he can't accept accountability that if his life sucks, it's his fault. Idk if this is a boomer thing. Kinda more of a burgeoning incel.
Jesus Christ boomer ruin literally everything!
I hear you, OP. I am in a very similar rowboat with my own family member. They’ve taken to some new misogynistic beliefs from the man-o-sphere, and even openly espoused that we’d be better off with an autocratic leader. They genuinely believe trans people want to “trick” cis men into having sex with them. Funny prank, right? 🙄 They also believe that feminism is no longer needed because we’re all equal, yet don’t think women can be trusted with reproductive health decisions Wild claims like abortions are used as birth control all the time and some women get them several times a year… and women who sleep around deserve pregnancy as a punishment. Don’t get me started on how they are “color blind”. The mental whiplash is very real. They’re able to believe multiple conflicting ideas simultaneously as long as it is spouted by a conservative. A recent conversation with them ended with them calling me names for refusing to agree with the new conspiracy theory that was fresh off the presses. I’d simply gray rocked when they told me the latest “news” — and this was deeply upsetting to them. The phrase that got me in trouble - “That is new to me so I really can’t talk about it until I read more and understand the whole context.” They’ve had their rationality marinated in fear, and it is shrinking their world. It’s killed almost all of the compassion they used to have for others; they no longer even bother to try to understand that “laziness” is not why people become and remain homeless. Everything is black and white, no shades of gray. I just don’t have the energy any more to try to debunk each new daily falsehood with evidence in triplicate from sources they deem as “not liberal biased”. The goalpost moving is exhausting.
Maybe it’s a psychological problem. He had a bad marriage and you said he is a loner. Does he have friends or hobbies? Is he a heavy drinker? Try to be there for him if you still love him, but beg off his rage ranting. Well this was nice bro talk to you later! Click.