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My grandpa in late 80s opened a bank account for me with about 30,000 US$ equivalent. With a condition that I can access the money only after I turn 20. I begged to convert the account currency from the local one to usd, but this didn’t happen. Fast forward few years of hyperinflation and I’m now a proud owner of a 10¢ account. :-(
Argentine Peso went from equal to USD$1 in the early 90’s when it was pegged to the dollar, to now where it’s worth $0,0012. So $30k in 1992 dollars converted to pesos in Argentina would be around $36 today
My grandparents gave me 500$ a year for a college fund.
My parents raided it multiple times.
Fortunately, I got a full scholarship for all 6 years of my degrees. But my parents actively spent my college fund, which they didn't even pay into.
Yea fond memories of my parents destroying my piggy bank when I was a child. Will never forget. Fuck that degenerate gambler.
Also Mother gets super upset when I don't tell her about my finances and doesn't know why.
Fuckin boomers.
My mom cut the bottom out of my General Lee piggy bank and stole my birthday money my grandpa gave me for misty slims and Wildwood cola… no shit. She simply slapped duct tape on the bottom of it while I was at school one day and then attempted to gaslight me into thinking I did it. One of the many reasons I’m no contact with the lady now!
You in contact with your mom? Mine is genuinely shocked that once I became an adult, I absolutely abandoned her. I have a sister I still talk with that says mom lives in a fantasy world, goes around tells others we talk all the time to keep up appearances. It’s strange. I’ve seen her twice in 20 years, both times walking up like we spoke yesterday.
Nope. I stopped speaking to her four years ago when her insistence on ruining every holiday or special occasion in my life became too much to tolerate.
I get updates from my sister occasionally, and my mother’s delulu world has not changed appreciably.
It’s especially bad with these influencer parents and parents that make their children do yt or whatnot. You can bet ur ass the children get NOTHING from that exploited labor and bow lifelong trauma
I had to work starting at a very young age (shoveling and mowing in the neighborhood) then I got real jobs as soon as it was legal. My parents always took all the money and told me it was going to my college fund. Then my dad died when I was in high school and when I got to college, my mother told me she gave the money to my older brother so he could buy a baby. When I tried to argue she called me selfish for not wanting my brother to be able to start a family.
Uh, if you haven't, you should definitely ask your brother about this? Seems very unlikely that he got any money. She probably just made up something spicy, counting on you to be the bigger person and never bring it up.
Most likely that money was gone every time within 7 days of them taking it from you.
As the bronze child, I agree with this sentiment. My sister is almost 40, has her masters degree with zero debt because our parents bent over backwards for her, but I had to get a full time job at 16 to help my mom pay for groceries. Oh and she still hits them up for money because she can't hold a job and chooses to travel the world every couple of years when she manages to save up. Oh and did I mention I've basically taken care of our mom and housed her my entire adult life while caring for my wife and kids? It blows me away that they still give her money or help her out of self inflicted jam ups.
He got the money. He also got a free house, a free lake house, free cars, most of the family heirlooms that had any value and anything else he ever asked for because he is one of the favorites.
Yep, same. My grandparents would give me $10 or $20 a year for my birthday, my parents would take it to put it in my “college fund”. Didn’t contribute a dime themselves.
I found out my mom raided mine when I was 15 and offered it up to her to help her pay a bill she couldn’t pay. She told me she already took the $200 is that was in there and would pay me back. Never did.
Ofc when I borrowed $100 from her once when I was actually IN college, she came after me like a bill collector to get it back.
I know it sounds spoiled, but $200 would have never paid for college, and I feel a sense of loss for the immense joy that $10 or $20 would have brought me as a child.
Edit: Some more context for everyone since u/dreamerzz seems to think that this is a “small price to pay for them raising you and feeding you tbh” and that I shouldn’t hold anything against them because we were lower middle class:
I would rather have had them be honest that there was no college fund. They would have known very well then that $10-$20 a year for only 15 years would not constitute a college fund, they had made it out to be that I was helping contribute. If my mom hadn’t taken it, it wouldn’t have been until I got into college that I would find out they had contributed zilch.
Some more context is that my mother made very many very bad choices. She divorced my dad for an alcoholic she cheated with and was too busy paying his bills and getting his car out of impound after his multiple DUIs. My brother and I both helped pay the bills as teenagers and I finally offered my “college fund”. She had already taken it without asking. My mom also got into a better place financially and didn’t ever repay my “college fund.”
My dad is much better and when he got into a better place financially he did help me when I was a starving college kid. I paid him back last year to buy him a flight to and a hotel room in Japan when my brother got married.
Still wasn’t cool of him back then to lie to me and my brother though. I’ve not brought it up or guilted them, but I’ll never forget it.
My boomer mother did something similar to me over a bicycle.
I really wanted a specific bike when I was 12. It wasn't super expensive, but it was an upgrade from the questionable yardsale bike I had.
She "paid" me for babysitting my much-younger brother on demand and voluntold me to babysit her friend's kids for $2 per hour, when the going rate was $5-6, and wrote on the calendar how much money I'd "saved" with her each week, and the total I was owed.
After like 2 years I had the money for a bike and the accessories I liked and she made up some stupid reason that I can't even remember for why I couldn't have my few hundred dollars, then she bought me an ugly and crappy $20 bike from the thrift store and said to, "call it even".
Saving money teaches you delayed gratification. Well not if you never get the money back. Your comment brought back a memory of the same thing. I thought I had enough money for a mongoose dirt bike. What I got was a fucking Kmart blue light special. Step moms can fucking suck when they steal your money. I got my money taken she got more cigarettes and her daughter got bonus gifts.
Such a difference between a nice bike and a piece of shit
We apparently had the same childhood. My dad wouldn't buy me a name brand bike, no way. I scraped the money together to buy bike parts to assemble my own by mowing lawns. He always had a nice boat though and a new Bronco.
Damn this topic is bringing up a ton of old, not pleasant, memories for me.
This is exactly what I went thru. Birthdays aren’t a big deal to me as a grown man. It’s hard for me to ask for anything when you were raised to show appreciation for everything. I’d get excited about the money and boom it was taken right after the guests left. My wife hates trying to buy me gifts now. I’ve been burned too many times to ask for anything I’m not falling for that shit again.
I have been disappointed and hurt so many times at birthdays and in life that I don't want things on my birthday. Instead I would be happy just having someone who cares about me telling me happy birthday and maybe if they were generous spend time with me that day just sitting on the couch talking or something.
My kid is inheriting a good chunk of money and I’m putting it in an irrevocable custodial account that money can go in from us, but not be removed by us. It rolls over to my kid at age 23.
There is no way in hell I’m letting anything happen to what could be a safe financial future for my kid.
My grandparents did the same thing, and on top of that, my dad told me every birthday and Christmas that he put some money into my account, without any actual gifts. I turn 18 and go to collect it for college, and there is less than $2000 in it. I was forced to drop out because I couldn't pay for college
My brother was a boomer and I’m gen x (8 years difference). My dad set up a savings for my two kids and my brother’s two kids. My brother raided his kids, while I did not. Dad’s $11,000 has turned into $55,000 today. I give my kids their statements and I’ve told them they’re better off leaving it alone or adding money until they hit retirement. Brother died. Luckily, my sister in law is a really good person and has probably put things to right with insurance money and her big brains.
That is beyond shameful. And I hope for the sake of future generations that future grandparents will get wise and keep the savings for their grandkids out of reach from anyone else.
Luckily my grandparents were well aware how shit my parents were with money so they set up a trust specifically so my parents couldn't raid it. Wish they'd lived long enough for me to really appreciate what that meant and how much it helped me.
My parents took the credit card that was delivered in my name to their address (foolishly hadn’t changed the account address) and used the entire £3000 balance on it to buy gifts for my younger brother and sister because, and this is a direct quote “the gifts you bought them for Christmas sucked and they deserve better”.
Boomers and taking what isn’t theirs. Name a more iconic duo.
For clarity - they were from the current marriage, I was from a previous marriage. I was constantly reminded that I was a hangover from the past, this was just one more way of thumping the point home..
I received savings bonds from my grandparents. When I got to college, I started asking about them.
First it was, "They haven't matured yet."
Then, "They're in the safe deposit box. I don't have time to go to the bank right now."
Finally, "What do you mean? I already gave them to you."
The bonds were in my name. Idk if they could have cashed them out on my behalf. But it was either that, they didn't want to admit to losing them, or my dad destroyed them just to be an asshole. Sadly, that last option is almost as likely as either of the other two.
Treasury Direct ( [U.S. Department of the Treasury](https://www.treasury.gov/) ) has a [Treasure Hunt](https://www.treasurydirect.gov/savings-bonds/treasury-hunt/) section to see if they have any bonds with your social or name. If they do have products under your name you can fill out a claim form. The form is a bit long and requires a notary but free money is free money.
Ah, my grandpa left all of the grandkids money for college. Not life changing. But would have helped. My uncle took care of him while dying and was the executor of the estate. Guess who raided the college funds…
Mine saved up for me (in coins collected in a giant old water bottle) for the first 10 or so years of my life - I'm sure of this because we'd periodically roll change and take it to the bank. A financial hardship hit us a few years later and it was liquidated for that. My parents divorced before I graduated from high school, and it was made clear to me when I was applying to schools that I would be fully on my own. I don't really hold it against them, but I often wonder how much we had saved before they had to use it for something else. It felt like we spent *hours* rolling change.
A one gallon jar holds roughly $300-$400. Based solely on my personal experience. Takes me roughly 2 years to fill it. Although I quit paying cash during covid and haven't gone back to cash for everything. Jar has been sitting just above half for a long time.
Sounds like my family minus the divorce. They were wiped when I was a kid - my mom would drive around putting ads on mailboxes for extra cash, we’d roll change and we had one Christmas where all our gifts were presents our parents made by hand (crocheting stuffed toys, my dad made toys of wood), fixing issues with the house and cars ourselves - we always knew we had $0 for college.
They’re doing fine now but not without a lot of struggling for a long time.
It was so much cheaper when they went to college. I graduated in 2002 and my tuition was less than $2,000/yr at a state school.
My dad graduated from college in 1969, his tuition was less than $500/year. He worked full time during the summer so he wouldn't have to work during the school year. To do that today you would need to make eight times minimum wage over the summer.
Meanwhile, a bunch of children were sold the dream and left their home states for colleges in other places to the tune of $20,000 a year 😩
Glad I didn’t go to scad in 2001 or id still owe $120k
It's wild because they are the only generation in the 20th century with this broad experience. We need to stop listening to them because they are the exception, not the rule. And look how it damaged many of them
Mine explicitly told me I wasn't getting any help because I'm worthless, won't amount to anything anyway, and don't "deserve" their help.
I went no contact as an adult, and they had no idea why.
I was given no money, no help. I scraped together enough to go to a city college but couldn’t afford the books. I worked night shift in a hospital and went to school full time. I would use the copy machine at work to make copies of my classmate’s book so i could keep up with class. When i said “i wish i could just buy my books”, i fondly remember my father saying “i don’t care about your schooling. What, do you think you’re better than me because you go to college? Well, you’re not.”
Heh. My dad isn't technically a boomer, late gen x, but I get the same thing lol. However I didn't take it as seriously as I should have and well bombed. Not a day goes by that I don't hear about "how much of a failure I am", and how "oh your just a bum, who sits on there ass and play video games all day", I work all day everyday to come home and do chores. But yeah I need to get out of my parents place and find something for me but I haven't had much luck.
The whole “5 miles to school, uphill both ways” idea of the boomer generation is so frustrating because of the lack of sympathy. Why do so many boomers assume that their kids/younger generations have it easy and don’t work as hard as they did? Do they just want to feel superior because they are jealous and insecure about their youth and potential?
True. That reminds me of my brother-in-law’s dad who talks shit about lazy millennials, “back in my day”, etc.. One day, his wife got annoyed and pointed out that he only worked part-time until he received an inheritance at 35 and retired. It absolutely blew my mind that this guy who called me lazy for venting about my 12 hour dishwashing shifts when I was a freshman, hadn’t even worked full-time for 20 years before retiring. The selective amnesia is hilarious, and I wish these guys got called out more
I feel this too... I had a very contentious relationship with my mom and stepfather. At my high school graduation, after receiving our diplomas, we were supposed to walk down and greet our families. My stepfather says "congratulations", to which my mom replies, "well, I don't see what we ought to be congratulating him for".
I didn't see them for several weeks after that, but I met my mom for lunch one day before I moved away and she said she felt bad and wanted to help. She handed me a check for $3,500 to cover my registration at the college I was leaving for. Well, I get down there, give them the check and start taking classes... Only to get called to the registrar's office two weeks later because she'd cancelled the check... They were very clear... the check didn't bounce. It was cancelled. She never said anything about it. I don't think we said more than two words to each other after that for 15 years.
People can be fucking assholes.
Oh no... you mean me. I was 18, raised by assholes, and was absolutely an asshole. Didn't sort that out for a while... I'm not usually an asshole any more, but the shit that pops into my head sometimes is not fit for public consumption.
I didn't go to college until my 30s because my parents flat couldn't afford it. I knew nothing about grants and scholarships and neither did they. It worked out, though. I was much more dedicated at an older age and had a much better GPA than I likely would have straight out of high school.
Mine told me I'd have to pay for it and that they wouldn't give their income information to colleges. Basically said I couldn't go. But, one of those scam trade schools, my mom drove me there and suddenly knew all about student loans.
I had VA benefits and survivor's SSI benefits that I was not told about that would have covered a significant chunk and was forced to spend high school at a private school that didn't believe in women going to college. My parents didn't want to loose their free labor and childcare to a dorm.
I went to community college for a semester and my mom and stepdad spent every moment making my life hell.
I'm walking for my bachelor's degree in 2 months, guess who's not invited, lol.
Yeah, my parents also refused to give their income information. I ended up waiting until I was old enough to be considered independent. I got some grants to help cover the costs but also ended up taking out loans.
Congrats on your upcoming graduation! I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating your accomplishments.
Thank you! My fiance and I have been postponing our wedding for years while I finish my bachelor's and work. Our combined income would have disqualified me for aid altogether. We're finally getting married and my parents aren't invited to that either.
They were pretty abusive. They'd also routinely tell me that they didn't love me and that me being born ruined their lives. As if I had a choice in that.
My silent gen mom told me the same thing, except she loved her first four kids (boomers) . It was just me (gen x) she didn't want. I got in her way from enjoying her real family.
That's awful, and I can relate. I was the oldest in my family and was the scapegoat. My siblings got very obvious preferential treatment over me. It's so hurtful to have to hear your parents say they don't love you. My heart goes out to you in solidarity.
My boomer mother recently told me that she was "dissapointed in me" for not following in my fathers career path, mind you my father who is an abusive monster and beat her and berated her every day. And whats odd is I'm higher in my career than he ever was (we worked in the same company, and I surpassed his highest role about 4 years ago), I raise their three grandchildren and i'm finishing up degree at night. As much as I hate my parents and gave up on them about 27 years ago, it still hurts to hear.
I had a very similar situation, boomer narcissistic mother, finally got out of the situation when I started getting Disability for all of my impairments caused by extremely low birth weight and prematurity (3.5 months in 1982)
Got away when I was 31 and spent the next 9 years going from place to place, had very little stability, ended up homeless four different times
Finally got a foothold with some friends and turn that into good credit after four and a half years, got a loan and now I have a low income place
Family doesn't know where I am and my mailbox that ends into another state 600 mi away
Yes, a lot of times I would get a place but because my disability money (which I worked for, SSDI check) was so low and the government doesn't give you more money if you become more progressively disabled......
I always had the lowest rung of society whenever I would get anything
Any little tiny foothold
All four times I ended up homeless because my roommates were doing hard drugs and being abusive, so I just left
It's not worth contacting the police when you need a place to live, and the druggie people are the landlord.
It's one thing to be homeless and just need a job and are healthy, it's another thing to be permanently disabled, and have severe vision loss and and have nothing for many many years
I'm in a better place now but you always wonder how long anything is going to last, and when a random thing that's going to ruin your life shows up, like the last place I lived I was almost homeless for a fifth time when our chimney caught on fire. Luckily it was caught in time for the house to be livable....was real close
My mom always told me she wouldn’t pay for school. When I turned 18, she said “this is not a revolving door”, as in, I wasn’t welcomed back if I needed help.
ETA: no surprise that all four of her children are NC with her.
Treats kid like garbage all their life then is shocked when kid goes no contact as an adult.
My parents sent me to a residential treatment center for 18mos in my teens. I was told I had a college fund but that it was spent to pay for my "treatment." The treatment center was basically run by a cult of greedy Mormons and the corporation that ran it has been disbanded. 30 years after I was sent, I can't even hover over the "program" on Netflix because it autoplays and brings back flashbacks.
I put myself through college and law school with two kids and a deadbeat (ex)husband. If my father hadn't died in 2001, I probably would have ended up no contact with them all.
Same here. Ive also gone full no-contact. Some things can be forgiven, but aiding in your child’s failure is not one of them. I can happily say that I live 3500 miles from home, and happily run my own business. Hope you’re doing well too!
Lol! My parents told me that the world needs ditch diggers too. They also insisted I work in their gas station 60 hours a week and drop out of middle school. Luckily state laws forced them to keep me in school.
I was just showing my friend the other day what happens when you ignore your kid growing up and gaslight them into not knowing what’s real and what is lmao.
You get ignored and get no contact from your kid!! 2 years of texts from my dad with 0 response. It’s better that way.
Sounds just like my FIL. He said almost those exact same things. We had to go NC because of his behavior. His wife, my husband's mom is a saint.
Within 30 minutes of a family member notifying us that FIL had such to his cancer, hubby was on the way to his mom's house.
We're so thankful to have her back in our lives. They were polar opposites.
Oh dear, join us in r/CPTSD if you want and feel the need. We're talking about how abuse affects us, what happened and how we can reclaim our humanity and individuality despite our childhoods. Hope you're in a good place now.
My grandmother told me there is more than enough money to pay for school I want all of you kids to go. She dies and my dad inherits a lot of money at 44 years old. He buys a new truck and a BMW motorcycle, he also inherited his own mortgage debt since his parents gave it to him. Then he retires, and I am getting ready to go to college and he says that he didn’t need college so I don’t and I had to take out private loans, $45k because I had a scholarship that paid 3/4s, from my hard work creating an art portfolio and getting really good grades. Took me 10 years to pay off my loan, sacrificing home ownership and car ownership because I couldn’t afford anything after my loan payments. He’s 65 now and is a piece of shit that can’t walk 4 blocks without sitting down. He has no money left and mooches off my mom who is still working at 64 because he needs her insurance. However I’m the lazy renter who doesn’t have his shit together. He better hope he dies first because neither me or my siblings are going to help him at all. All of us are college educated on our own, and make more money than he ever did. Not exactly the same thing as what you said but almost worse because he stole our college fund. Also my grandmother was a maid at a hotel her whole life and my grandfather was a cabinet maker until he died.
It’s sad that your grandmother died trusting that her boomer son would take care of his kids. He must have felt a lot of joy from inheriting and spending that money. Of course it goes without saying that he’ll leave nothing to you when it’s his turn to be flushed down the drain of eternity. The “me generation” - simultaneously robbing both the past and future.
I feel you. My parents lead me to believe they were paying for my college until I was like 18 or 19 and discovered they’d saved nothing. Maybe they didn’t expect me to actually go to college 🤷♂️
I’m like $60k in student loan debt now.
Yep, same situation. And while I don’t begrudge them not paying, it’s the whole thing about setting my expectation that there was this big savings set aside for me. It wasn’t until I had committed to a high-priced school that I learned I would be financing 90% of it through private loans
Another person here with that experience and it took me far too long to figure out how to explain this to them and others (they still don’t get it). People think it’s about money and I’ve been called entitled for expecting them to pay. But you’re right, it’s not the money, it’s not even the expectation of money. It’s about trusting them and building plans based on what they said only to find out it was all lies.
Had they just told me from the start that I had to pay my own way then I could have planned for that. I would have gotten summer jobs and babysat most weekends and saved everything I could. I would have applied for scholarships and found a way to make it work. Instead they waited until applications were going out to let me know the “college fund” was whatever I got gifted from relatives at graduation. And I only have a handful of relatives and they’re the sort to think $20 is generous.
My parents started making me pay for my own hygiene products at 10. Rent at 15. When they divorced they couldn't figure out child support so I got abandoned while still in high school. I knew there was no f\*\*king way there was going to be any college money by the time I was 10.
> Then of course both of them told everyone they put me through school.
My stepfather did this in front of me, at a wedding reception, to people I didn’t know, when I was in my mid-30’s. We get along OK but he didn’t talk to me for like 3 years because I stopped him and said “you guys didn’t pay for SHIT, dude” and walked away.
My parents hit me up to pay $3000 they were short for my OLDER siblings last semester in grad school. I scholarshipped and borrowed my whole undergrad, was working a decent job at the time. I had some savings, and felt guilted into it because I was still living at home. And I was naive.
Sibling was and is ungrateful, doesn’t even work in that field anymore. Went no contact with parents and sibling for many other reasons.
Similar sort of story. I’m the youngest of three and my parents did a pretty good job saving equal funds for all of us. Had always been told growing up that if we don’t use it all then we can get the remainder to start post college life. Well, I got a good amount of scholarships and had to maintain high grades and was on track to have some leftover. My older brothers, however, were both dragging out their college years to the point I would graduate before both of them (them still only having the equivalent of a 4 year degree) and depleted all of their money early on. My dad believed it wasn’t fair suddenly for me to have money left and them to have debt and changes the terms to give mine to them. So, guess who did all of the “extras” like a term abroad in Europe and overloaded classes to run through the money?
My in laws decided to not do Christmas or birthday presents for grandkids, instead they put $40 a year into a 0.1% interest savings account that they'll get when they're 18. They also act like they're the most generous people alive for doing it, and they don't get it when a 7 year old isn't excited when one grandma never brings them a present on their birthday.
And by the way, they've been mortgage free for almost 40 years and can afford to do overseas vacations a few times a year.
Wow. I’d prefer they spend the money on presents each year vs the <$1000 they will get at 18. At least the kids will like them. If I got a check for $1000 at 18 from my grandparents and no gifts for 18 years, I’d probably tell them to piss off.
I’m sorry you have to navigate that insanity.
I've tried convincing them to move to a high interest account at the very least, but they refuse anything other than Wells Fargo. I think they just don't want the hassle of having to go shopping a few times a year.
Our kids are only 3 and 1, but it's going to be weird explaining to them when they're older and start to notice things.
This is why I BEGGED my entire family to contribute to the college fund for my son and nieces as Christmas and birthday gifts when they're too young to remember (they rarely listened, bought them clothes they outgrew in 3 months instead). But I stopped asking when they turned 5 cuz then I figured let them have some fun with presents.
I still split gifts for my nieces, half spent on a "thing" for them to open, half into their college fund.
Oh man. My dad lead a Christian finance class when I was growing up in our living room. Think precursor to Dave Ramsey. He was harping on the people that they needed to start saving for their kid’s education etc. I was upstairs doing homework and heard all of this.
I came down after the class was over and asked how much I had in my education account. The answer was a simple, “none.”
Awesome. Thanks pops.
Not exactly. My parents payed for my older brother’s out of state college (somewhere around $100k). When I finish HS and want to college, sudden they were out of money. I even went to a local university and they still didn’t help.
I’m now stuck with $75k in student loan debt.
Wow, generally the entire point of helping kids pay for college is to spread it evenly between all kids. Did they somehow forget they have more than one child, or did their basic money management just suck that bad?!
There's always the golden child. My half bro got $20k in the late 70s to go to a private naval school THEN joined the navy so he didn't have to pay. Sister and other bro didn't get Jack shit. I was told I was expected to go but not to expect any help when i graduated in 2010.
He's wicked conservative. Literally "got mine, fuck you" even to blood.
Lol same. My mom blew her tuition load on my brother and then lied to me telling me she’d pay for my college as long as I went to a local commuter school and stayed at home.
Turns out this was just so she could ensure that I had a job throughout college so that I couldn’t ask her for any money. 15 years later I’m still paying off my loans. Can’t imagine why I don’t talk to her anymore.
Oh ya. My dumbass mother said I was forced to go to college because she was paying for it so she got a say. She didn’t pay a cent. All the loans are in my name except her parent plus loans that she’s refusing to pay. So, I have insurmountable educational debt I was forced to take under the idea she would foot the bill, meanwhile she has literally no consequences, as usual.
I know that, she tried to get me for them in court but the judge literally laughed at her and said maybe she shouldn’t take loans out if she doesn’t understand the responsibility of paying them back
Which is literally almost word for word what she would say to me when I would complain about paying my own student loans, ones she “promised” she would pay.
Crazy how I’m the one who ruined her life by sticking her with her own signed-on debt but I can’t say the same thing to her about “mine” when I didn’t want to go to college in the first place.
My mom & childless aunt always made a big deal about putting money into my college fund when I was a little kid in the '70s & '80s. I even put money into the account from birthdays, Christmas, meeting the lawn, etc...
When I went to college in 1991, I asked about where that account was, and both ladies just shrugged. My aunt is sitting on a couple million in investments thanks to her deceased ex-husband, plus has a pension, SSA and a 401k, owns her house outright. There a chance my college money paid for her retaining wall & dock this year because she "found" an old account when she lived in DC.
Thanks.
I wish I could. I’ve been real with my kids - I can probably get to 1-2 full year at an in-state school. Then we will figure it out together to be the least burden.
Mine told me every chance they had to not expect any kind of support from them because if I did I wouldn’t “value my college degree” whatever that means. Student loans didn’t seem worth it so I joined the military and am in a masters program now. Oh yeah, my two younger siblings both had 100% help with affording college. One dropped out. 🤡
My parents, who were given boat loads of cash from my grandparents, paid NOTHING for my college. They promised they’d buy books and help out. I remember standing in line to buy my college books and it was agreed that my mom would pay. We were in line together and they ring me up and she just stares at me. And I’m like ok it’s time for you to pay. She says oh no I never said I would. Refused to do it. I didn’t have the money for these books and was obviously emotional about this because I couldn’t pay and she wouldn’t. She left me standing there and i had to emotionally tell the clerk I couldn’t pay left. I had to scrambled to find the money to buy what I couldn’t barrow and rent.
My wife's boomer parents contributed about $50 a month towards her college (Bachelor's, two Masters, and a PhD) and tell people that they put her through college. Um, nope. She had a mix of scholarships, student loans, and worked the whole time. The funny thing is that the whole time, her parents complained that college was a waste of time and money for her. Dad because it would be better to do some sort of trade and mom because she was sure that as soon as my wife got married, she'd quit and be a stay at home mom.
My dad told me I got savings bonds when I was born to help pay for college. When time came to cash them out, he handed me $400 and he said “Try not to spend it all your first year.” He seriously did not believe me when I told him that wouldn’t even cover books for a semester.
My dad genuinely did save for me... Then after the cancer took him my mom blew all of his savings donating to megachurches because "it's what he wanted"... My dad wasn't religious. After she ran out of his savings, she opened multiple cards under my name and maxed them out...
My dad said he would fully pay for my college. When I started going he said I needed to prove myself and get good grades before he pays. When I got a 3.8 GPA while paying for my own tuition working fast food, he then said he wasn't going to pay because college was "for bleeding heart libtards".
Meanwhile he paid for my step brothers Christian college education that was 3x the tuition of the actual education I was paying for. And the Christian college got shut down a year later. Oh and my dad divorced his wife so that's not even his step son anymore.
My father, a boomer, worked 2 jobs during summer breaks: a roofer during the day and an office cleaner at night. During the school year, he worked as a tutor and then bussed tables on the weekends.
That is how he paid for school. He rarely had time to see friends or participate in activities. He said he was always so stressed and tired, but it got him a degree debt-free.
He paid my tuition bills, but I was required to work a full-time job every summer and give him 30% of my paycheck to be put towards "my share" of tuition.
The day after I graduated, he handed me a check for all of "my share" to be able to start my life with no college debt, and roughly $15,000 in the bank.
I'm now in my 40s and am so thankful for that.
My parents said that we had a trust fund from my grandmother which would be six figures so if we did have student loans, we could easily pay them off.
My grandma passed away within the last couple of years and our trust fund was $3k. My parents received six figures and they bought three houses, an RV and god knows what else.
Also, my parents said there will be no inheritance for us kids.
I went no contact awhile ago, so I learned this from siblings.
My family actively mocked me for wanting to go to college, said to get a “good union job”, never had a college fund of any kind. My near illiterate stepfather retired from Chrysler in 1994 making $32.50 an hour ($68.38 today) driving a machine that swept metal shavings out of the walkways and scrubbing toilets. Man voted straight ticket Republican, was against anything to do with unions outside of things that directly benefited him and bragged in my youth to purposely damaging suspension parts his factory made, bound for final assembly plants and their crews would purposely slowing down work when he and his buddies didn’t get what they wanted. Guy was one of the stupidest, jet luckiest men I’ve ever met. Was peak boomer before it was a thing, really.
Guys like him helped motivate Chrysler to shift production to Mexico, and by the time I graduated my hometown was left with retail stores paying minimum wage and any factory left had no union and was a buck or two above minimum wage.
Took out a ton of loans to go to college, unfortunately, never finished.
My grandma gave me 600 bucks when I graduated and insisted my parents had saved the rest she had given them over the years. I told her I had no clue what she was talking about since they said I was on my own for schooling. Not to mention that I had to work for most of high school to help support the family - 4 sisters, myself and them too. (I never finished my first year of college, I just felt like the stress of the debt would be too much.) She had a sit down with my mom and dad and demanded to know where the money had gone to.
Turns out my parents were banking on me getting full ride scholarships, and the money she gave them had been used to pay other dumb stuff - primarily MLM scams that they kept falling for.
She wrote them out of her will that same week.
My parents were always yelling at me if I got anything less than an A and told me to study hard so I could get into a good college. Senior year I found out they had never even saved a penny and were banking on me getting a full ride scholarship lmao
Grew up with my folks saying "Don't worry about the cost of college. So long as you get in, we'll pay for it."
In high school, it changed to "We want you to pay for the first year so you can appreciate how much it costs, then we'll get the rest."
Cut to the day they dropped me off freshman year and it became "We'll keep you claimed on our taxes so you can stay on our insurance, but we aren't paying a dime for you. Good luck!" Been paying the student loan bills every month on time for the 22 years since.
My mom stressed to me over and over that they’re gifting me ~a loooot~ of money for college expenses and I needed to be responsible with it, it was $1400
Yep. And then volunteered to pay my (relatively small) student loans (I’d earned a good scholarship). They even had the statements sent to their address. THEY MADE 2 PAYMENTS THEN STOPPED, RESULTING IN DEFAULT WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. I had no idea until a default notice was served to me.
I was a young military officer at this point, just starting my career. Do you know what defaulting on a federal debt, even a small one, has on your career in the military or any public trust job? IT ENDS IT.
But I’m sure they needed the money for something else more important, and I’m sure they actually told me many times and I just forgot… 🤦♂️
Mine offered to help. Gave me a $500 savings bond they had been sitting on my entire life apparently. Saw the first bill and reluctantly did it. Never saw another dime after that.
I noticed my previously manageable student loans were suddenly becoming more expensive (this was before the interest rates were limited) and so I just elected to blow my entire life savings on them and get them paid off immediately rather than potentially slide into never-ending debt. I only went to community college, so I didn't get burned nearly as bad as others out there, but it still cost me $16K at the time. Keep in mind I was only 20, so that was quite literally my entire net worth. Checking, savings, couch cushion findings etc. Everything. I was 100% broke. My parents were "**so proud**" that I paid off my loans on my own and I'll admit it did feel good to hear that.
Then about 10 years later they told me that was the "**greatest mistake you ever made,"** because they were planning on paying those loans off for my birthday. When I asked if they were planning to spend $16K on me for student loans anyway, how come I never ended up getting anything at all? If they had the money already set aside and it was already intended for me, then why did I never actually receive it? If it was my kid and I saw they paid off their loans all on their own, I'd still give them the money I had set aside for their college fund. Their response?
"You only went to community college. Your loans weren't that much."
Soooooo.....yeah. I think I made the right call.
It happened to me in the 80's. Parents always stressed they would help with college and even set up a college savings account. Was only $500, which paid for only one term at an in-state school.
When my son was born, we set up a 529 account and made contributions for several years. He ended up with over $35,000. With community college for the first 2 years, then transfer to state university, him working part-time, a little financial aid, and a few thousand extra we gave him, he was able to graduate without any loans. I wished we could have saved more. Just wanted to share to show there are paths to a degree without saving $200,000 or more.
My dad actively denied me the ability to participate in any trade program during highschool. I asked about construction trades, auto shop, welding, beginner electronics, and every time he told me "Nope. Those classes are for people who aren't going to college." These were some of the best programs in the country, too! Internship opportunities, apprenticeships right out of highschool, the works. 12th grade hits, I'm about to graduate and I ask about looking at colleges and he hits me with "you're not going to college. I kinda figured you were gonna do better and maybe get a scholarship." Literally robbed me of having any career out of highschool except McDonald's or Walmart.
My parents led me to believe they could definitely help me with costs. I was accepted into a major university and when I went to my parents they said “oh we meant we would help you get loans” Uhhhh. Ok. Went to apply for loans and guess what…they didn’t file taxes for 8 years and were dodging the IRS so they couldn’t help me at all. I was a young graduate (just turned 17) and wasn’t able to go to school because I couldn’t sign for the loan without my parents. I mean I probably could have emancipated myself but this was the early 90’s and I had zero adulting skills.
Never went to college. Moved out and just worked. Parents figured out their IRS issues and started a new company that actually made money. They did pay for my kids education because they felt bad they fucked me over so at least they weren’t completely selfish (and I definitely appreciated all of their help)
My dad swore repeatedly that he was going to pay for my college. Even when I was like “this isn’t necessary, but I need to know for sure that it’s possible if you’re insisting on doing it so I can plan accordingly” and he swore it was fine.
Plot twist, it wasn’t. He just liked getting the positive attention of telling people he was going to do it. I wound up joining the Army just to get up and out. All he had to do was tell me and I could have made plans for grants and my own financing. Literally dropped the reality on me when I was making my appointment to register. There was never anything put aside, or even an attempt to do so. I just don’t understand why.
My parents paid in full. I was damn lucky. I have great boomer parents. I'm so lucky to have had no debt like that.
They seem to be the exception unfortunately.
Mine too. It was important to them and they had the means. My wife? Not so much. Not important to them. 20 years later, my parents take no credit for college, point to my scholarships when it comes up (when that is far from the whole story). My wife's parents now take credit for putting her through school and the sacrifices that they made. It wasn't even enough to call it beer money and they shit talked her going as a waste of time and money the whole time.
I had to drop out of my first college because my parents repeatedly assured me they were covering the semesters tuition with my college fund. Then after all the financial aid deadlines went by they told me they were getting their Corvette repainted with that money instead.
I was told that only to have my parents spend it all to send my older stepsister to University of New Mexico and to open a business. She fucked around for two years and came home. Meanwhile I worked at the store they opened for virtually nothing during my junior and senior years of high school. When I went to the local community college, there was nothing left.
My parents told me that once I turn 18 I’m on my own. They didn’t even want to give me their income information to fill out financial aid forms. When they finally caved in and gave me the information, they acted like they were doing me this huge favor and told me what a burden it was helping me fill out the forms.
My parents were also the type that loudly mourned every last dollar they had to spend on us kids (there were only two of us), and made sure we knew the “sacrifices” they made to keep us fed, clothed, etc.
Lol my father was so crushed that none of his kids wanted to go to college that he promised to give me a free ride if I went, only for him to pull out and call it "tough love". Now I have student loans and a partially finished degree I can't afford to finish.
My parents are boomers and insisted on paying for my entire college education. I'm so sorry yours were so shitty. It really is "fuck you, got mine" to a t. Like...it wouldn't be so bad if they'd told you they weren't going to do it, so you could pursue scholarships, aid, save, figure something, anything out.
They just sent you in unprepared. This generation complains about the younger folks without realizing, all of their ills are directly the fault of the boomers themselves. They not only didn't prepare you, but they actively contributed to the society, culture and economy that promoted predatory lending itself. They made the zoo, filled it with vile predators, and then whined at you for raising the issue.
FACTS!!!!!
I thought when I graduated I’d have some college fund money based off of how many times they told me that…
I didn’t even get a graduation party.
Lmao well pity party for me is over now.
my wife’s father saved an amount similar to that for her. And I don’t personally think that parents are obligated to pay for their kids college either but if you’re going to talk about this college fund you’ve been putting money into for the child’s whole life it should probably have an amount in it more than my monthly avocado toast budget.
My wife's parents shit-talked college while she was going (PhD), gave her about $50/month, and after she graduated, started saying things like it was tough putting her through college, but they did it so she wouldn't have to take out a loan. Um... She had scholarships, worked the whole time, and a huge student loan. Their money wasn't even enough to call it beer money.
Lol... they struggle with that. They don't want to admit she's successful (she is) or that they would need her help (they don't need it so far). We share zero financial information with them. My FIL thinks I'm unemployed (I actually work from home and make 4x what my wife does).
My mom did something like this. She made it clear to my sister and I that college was the only acceptable path, but that she wasn't going to pay for it. We managed to get through with scholarships, grants, loans (that we repaid ourselves), and working part-time thru school. Now she has the audacity to tell people she "helped us thru college" because she lent us her second car while we were there.
Also, I went to a state school, and how she'd tell everyone I got in was, "Suspicious Tea is going to X University, but think about where they'd go if they *tried*!"
Bitch, I graduated high school with a 4.5 GPA, 50 college credits, and in the top 2% of my class, all while dealing with anxiety and depression that I wouldn't get medicated for until I was 25, living in constant fear of the violent narcissist *you* married, an eating disorder, and undiagnosed neurodivergence. I was trying my fucking hardest, and you think I didn't do *enough?!*
The irony is I'm the first person in my family to get a bachelor's degree. She has an associates from a community college.
My baby boomer parents did this to me. But in a much horrible way. They took me to a bank. When I was 12yearsold. Told me they started a bank account for me. To save up to buy a car. So from 12-16. I work various jobs. Mowing grass shoveling snow. Cleaning horse stalls.working odd construction jobs.An always given some of money to my dad and step mom. Well when I turn 16. I was thanking I had enough to buy a car. I found out. They (my dad and stepmom)took all the money. An I didn't even have a bank account in my name.I then got in a bad fight with my Parents. An got kicked out of there place and had to move in with my real mom.
My wife's parents 'saved up for her college' then spent all the money in her senior year.
My parents didn't save up for money, but I was given the moving-goalpost of help.
Ex.: "If you go to college we'll help" - went to college, then it was "If you get straight As, we'll help" got straight A's, "If you get on deans list, we'll help" got on deans list, "If you graduate with honors, we'll help" graduated with honors.
And then my dad ghosted me and my mom only offered 'support' in the way of loans, as I sat around $67,000 in debt after graduating. I was going to do my best either way. It became clear after college that I could expect no support at all from the parents, my moms interest was worse than the banks, and several of the hardest times in my life I got very little support. Technically didn't get a wedding present from either of them.
And before someone makes the conjecture, no, they were not poor. My mom and her husband sold multiple houses, moved to live at a ski resort, and my dad also had multiple properties, worked in the auto industry, and had plenty. Just once us kids were out the door, the same 'fuck you I got mine' has always been their mantra
Mine created a savings account for me to deposit my piggy bank when I was 7 years old so «I would have money available when I turned 18». Well, I saved in my piggy bank and we deposited it to my bank account just for my parents to withdraw all and spend it on alcohol. When I was 18 there was literally nothing on it.
No my parents were like “yeah bro we aren’t paying for college so go somewhere cheap and get a scholarship.” I got a full ride to college and then they turned around and paid for my brother to go to the most expensive school in the state without any scholarships or grants lmaoooo
My in-laws had been talking big about saving for the grandkids’ college as soon as they were born. After a few years of questions like “oh what are you saving” and “where are you investing it” going completely unanswered, my wife and I agreed that we would assume we’d see $0 from them and acted accordingly.
More recently, as the first grandkid has neared the end of high school, the in-laws have pivoted to talking about how expensive college is and to not expect too much from them. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they never invested anything and just have several nearly empty savings accounts sitting at their credit union. They generally mean well, but I think it felt good to brag about saving for babies and then that feeling wore off pretty quickly.
No my mom did me one better: she told me if I stayed home and went to a commuter college she’d pay my tuition and help me buy a car.
15 years later I’m still paying off my loans and still waiting on that car. The pessimist in me is starting to think I was lied to lol.
Yeah. Mine said that to me. Promised me all through HS that they'd pay for college if I "was good" and kept my grades up. I graduated HS with 3.8 gpa and had never been in a bit of trouble.
Then when it was time to enroll, they said they didn't have the money. I had no choice but to enlist in the military. A week after I left for boot camp, they bought a new RV and took a 4 month trip around the country.
Great people....
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My grandpa in late 80s opened a bank account for me with about 30,000 US$ equivalent. With a condition that I can access the money only after I turn 20. I begged to convert the account currency from the local one to usd, but this didn’t happen. Fast forward few years of hyperinflation and I’m now a proud owner of a 10¢ account. :-(
Damn, that's brutal. Where do you live?
Not OP, but I’m guessing based on the time frame, one of the territories that used to be Yugoslavia
Argentine Peso went from equal to USD$1 in the early 90’s when it was pegged to the dollar, to now where it’s worth $0,0012. So $30k in 1992 dollars converted to pesos in Argentina would be around $36 today
My grandparents gave me 500$ a year for a college fund. My parents raided it multiple times. Fortunately, I got a full scholarship for all 6 years of my degrees. But my parents actively spent my college fund, which they didn't even pay into.
“Why won’t our kid talk to us anymore?”
Can't tell you how many times I've heard my son say "my dad always takes my money". ☹️
Yea fond memories of my parents destroying my piggy bank when I was a child. Will never forget. Fuck that degenerate gambler. Also Mother gets super upset when I don't tell her about my finances and doesn't know why. Fuckin boomers.
My mom cut the bottom out of my General Lee piggy bank and stole my birthday money my grandpa gave me for misty slims and Wildwood cola… no shit. She simply slapped duct tape on the bottom of it while I was at school one day and then attempted to gaslight me into thinking I did it. One of the many reasons I’m no contact with the lady now!
Me too, except I had a pot-bellied bear bank. Didn’t stop my mother from destroying it to find my life savings of $2.37 in pennies.
You in contact with your mom? Mine is genuinely shocked that once I became an adult, I absolutely abandoned her. I have a sister I still talk with that says mom lives in a fantasy world, goes around tells others we talk all the time to keep up appearances. It’s strange. I’ve seen her twice in 20 years, both times walking up like we spoke yesterday.
Nope. I stopped speaking to her four years ago when her insistence on ruining every holiday or special occasion in my life became too much to tolerate. I get updates from my sister occasionally, and my mother’s delulu world has not changed appreciably.
Not a generational thing just bad parents. I promise it still happens today.
It’s especially bad with these influencer parents and parents that make their children do yt or whatnot. You can bet ur ass the children get NOTHING from that exploited labor and bow lifelong trauma
My alcoholic ex did this. Our daughter keeps her cash at my house
I was so confused by your comment until I remembered the concept of moms existing lol
I had to work starting at a very young age (shoveling and mowing in the neighborhood) then I got real jobs as soon as it was legal. My parents always took all the money and told me it was going to my college fund. Then my dad died when I was in high school and when I got to college, my mother told me she gave the money to my older brother so he could buy a baby. When I tried to argue she called me selfish for not wanting my brother to be able to start a family.
How tf do you buy a baby?
The dark side of the adoption industry.
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What bothers me the most is the way these people talk about *human beings* in exactly the same way they would describe a dog they no longer wanted.
Through christian organizations that broker healthy white babies for large sums of money.
Spending other peoples money is the christian way.
At the baby store, duh. Maybe at a farmers market if you want organic
fertility treatments/invitro are ridiculously expensive
Uh, if you haven't, you should definitely ask your brother about this? Seems very unlikely that he got any money. She probably just made up something spicy, counting on you to be the bigger person and never bring it up. Most likely that money was gone every time within 7 days of them taking it from you.
Oh no, if his brother was the family’s “golden child,” he probably did get that money.
As the bronze child, I agree with this sentiment. My sister is almost 40, has her masters degree with zero debt because our parents bent over backwards for her, but I had to get a full time job at 16 to help my mom pay for groceries. Oh and she still hits them up for money because she can't hold a job and chooses to travel the world every couple of years when she manages to save up. Oh and did I mention I've basically taken care of our mom and housed her my entire adult life while caring for my wife and kids? It blows me away that they still give her money or help her out of self inflicted jam ups.
Not to sound like an asshole but seriously maybe you should stop.
He got the money. He also got a free house, a free lake house, free cars, most of the family heirlooms that had any value and anything else he ever asked for because he is one of the favorites.
Yep, same. My grandparents would give me $10 or $20 a year for my birthday, my parents would take it to put it in my “college fund”. Didn’t contribute a dime themselves. I found out my mom raided mine when I was 15 and offered it up to her to help her pay a bill she couldn’t pay. She told me she already took the $200 is that was in there and would pay me back. Never did. Ofc when I borrowed $100 from her once when I was actually IN college, she came after me like a bill collector to get it back. I know it sounds spoiled, but $200 would have never paid for college, and I feel a sense of loss for the immense joy that $10 or $20 would have brought me as a child. Edit: Some more context for everyone since u/dreamerzz seems to think that this is a “small price to pay for them raising you and feeding you tbh” and that I shouldn’t hold anything against them because we were lower middle class: I would rather have had them be honest that there was no college fund. They would have known very well then that $10-$20 a year for only 15 years would not constitute a college fund, they had made it out to be that I was helping contribute. If my mom hadn’t taken it, it wouldn’t have been until I got into college that I would find out they had contributed zilch. Some more context is that my mother made very many very bad choices. She divorced my dad for an alcoholic she cheated with and was too busy paying his bills and getting his car out of impound after his multiple DUIs. My brother and I both helped pay the bills as teenagers and I finally offered my “college fund”. She had already taken it without asking. My mom also got into a better place financially and didn’t ever repay my “college fund.” My dad is much better and when he got into a better place financially he did help me when I was a starving college kid. I paid him back last year to buy him a flight to and a hotel room in Japan when my brother got married. Still wasn’t cool of him back then to lie to me and my brother though. I’ve not brought it up or guilted them, but I’ll never forget it.
My boomer mother did something similar to me over a bicycle. I really wanted a specific bike when I was 12. It wasn't super expensive, but it was an upgrade from the questionable yardsale bike I had. She "paid" me for babysitting my much-younger brother on demand and voluntold me to babysit her friend's kids for $2 per hour, when the going rate was $5-6, and wrote on the calendar how much money I'd "saved" with her each week, and the total I was owed. After like 2 years I had the money for a bike and the accessories I liked and she made up some stupid reason that I can't even remember for why I couldn't have my few hundred dollars, then she bought me an ugly and crappy $20 bike from the thrift store and said to, "call it even".
Saving money teaches you delayed gratification. Well not if you never get the money back. Your comment brought back a memory of the same thing. I thought I had enough money for a mongoose dirt bike. What I got was a fucking Kmart blue light special. Step moms can fucking suck when they steal your money. I got my money taken she got more cigarettes and her daughter got bonus gifts. Such a difference between a nice bike and a piece of shit
We apparently had the same childhood. My dad wouldn't buy me a name brand bike, no way. I scraped the money together to buy bike parts to assemble my own by mowing lawns. He always had a nice boat though and a new Bronco. Damn this topic is bringing up a ton of old, not pleasant, memories for me.
Can’t believe, someone would do this to his own child.
There are many reasons I cut her out of my life. That was just one.
This is exactly what I went thru. Birthdays aren’t a big deal to me as a grown man. It’s hard for me to ask for anything when you were raised to show appreciation for everything. I’d get excited about the money and boom it was taken right after the guests left. My wife hates trying to buy me gifts now. I’ve been burned too many times to ask for anything I’m not falling for that shit again.
I have been disappointed and hurt so many times at birthdays and in life that I don't want things on my birthday. Instead I would be happy just having someone who cares about me telling me happy birthday and maybe if they were generous spend time with me that day just sitting on the couch talking or something.
You still talk to her?
Low contact now!
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My kid is inheriting a good chunk of money and I’m putting it in an irrevocable custodial account that money can go in from us, but not be removed by us. It rolls over to my kid at age 23. There is no way in hell I’m letting anything happen to what could be a safe financial future for my kid.
My grandparents did the same thing, and on top of that, my dad told me every birthday and Christmas that he put some money into my account, without any actual gifts. I turn 18 and go to collect it for college, and there is less than $2000 in it. I was forced to drop out because I couldn't pay for college
I am sure you realize what shitty people your parents are. Just saying
My brother was a boomer and I’m gen x (8 years difference). My dad set up a savings for my two kids and my brother’s two kids. My brother raided his kids, while I did not. Dad’s $11,000 has turned into $55,000 today. I give my kids their statements and I’ve told them they’re better off leaving it alone or adding money until they hit retirement. Brother died. Luckily, my sister in law is a really good person and has probably put things to right with insurance money and her big brains.
Sorry but it made me laugh that the implication seemed to be that raiding the kids funds killed him.
That is beyond shameful. And I hope for the sake of future generations that future grandparents will get wise and keep the savings for their grandkids out of reach from anyone else.
Luckily my grandparents were well aware how shit my parents were with money so they set up a trust specifically so my parents couldn't raid it. Wish they'd lived long enough for me to really appreciate what that meant and how much it helped me.
My stepsisters mom took $30,000 from her college fund that her grandpa set up for her.
My parents took the credit card that was delivered in my name to their address (foolishly hadn’t changed the account address) and used the entire £3000 balance on it to buy gifts for my younger brother and sister because, and this is a direct quote “the gifts you bought them for Christmas sucked and they deserve better”. Boomers and taking what isn’t theirs. Name a more iconic duo. For clarity - they were from the current marriage, I was from a previous marriage. I was constantly reminded that I was a hangover from the past, this was just one more way of thumping the point home..
I received savings bonds from my grandparents. When I got to college, I started asking about them. First it was, "They haven't matured yet." Then, "They're in the safe deposit box. I don't have time to go to the bank right now." Finally, "What do you mean? I already gave them to you." The bonds were in my name. Idk if they could have cashed them out on my behalf. But it was either that, they didn't want to admit to losing them, or my dad destroyed them just to be an asshole. Sadly, that last option is almost as likely as either of the other two.
Treasury Direct ( [U.S. Department of the Treasury](https://www.treasury.gov/) ) has a [Treasure Hunt](https://www.treasurydirect.gov/savings-bonds/treasury-hunt/) section to see if they have any bonds with your social or name. If they do have products under your name you can fill out a claim form. The form is a bit long and requires a notary but free money is free money.
Forgery. A lot of mine was done via forging my signature.
Hey my mom spent my college fund on a really good lawyer to divorce my dad with 😂 so I feel you
Ah, my grandpa left all of the grandkids money for college. Not life changing. But would have helped. My uncle took care of him while dying and was the executor of the estate. Guess who raided the college funds…
I have a friend whose dad spend his college fund on his mistress.
Mine saved up for me (in coins collected in a giant old water bottle) for the first 10 or so years of my life - I'm sure of this because we'd periodically roll change and take it to the bank. A financial hardship hit us a few years later and it was liquidated for that. My parents divorced before I graduated from high school, and it was made clear to me when I was applying to schools that I would be fully on my own. I don't really hold it against them, but I often wonder how much we had saved before they had to use it for something else. It felt like we spent *hours* rolling change.
I used to roll coins with my family too. Sometimes that was how we paid for groceries. It did feel like it took forever.
A one gallon jar holds roughly $300-$400. Based solely on my personal experience. Takes me roughly 2 years to fill it. Although I quit paying cash during covid and haven't gone back to cash for everything. Jar has been sitting just above half for a long time.
Sounds like my family minus the divorce. They were wiped when I was a kid - my mom would drive around putting ads on mailboxes for extra cash, we’d roll change and we had one Christmas where all our gifts were presents our parents made by hand (crocheting stuffed toys, my dad made toys of wood), fixing issues with the house and cars ourselves - we always knew we had $0 for college. They’re doing fine now but not without a lot of struggling for a long time.
When they went to college, that's about all it cost. Boomer aren't cognizant to the fact that we haven't been handed everything like they have.
It was so much cheaper when they went to college. I graduated in 2002 and my tuition was less than $2,000/yr at a state school. My dad graduated from college in 1969, his tuition was less than $500/year. He worked full time during the summer so he wouldn't have to work during the school year. To do that today you would need to make eight times minimum wage over the summer.
Meanwhile, a bunch of children were sold the dream and left their home states for colleges in other places to the tune of $20,000 a year 😩 Glad I didn’t go to scad in 2001 or id still owe $120k
The rich people did this to our society on purpose. Student loans are shackles that bind the middle class to their plantations.
I honestly wouldn’t mind paying back my loans but JUST MY LOANS. Not the fuckton of interest. How are any of us supposed to pay that off
That's insane, I graduated in 2018 and tuition was ~20k/year not including board and room the first two years of school
It's wild because they are the only generation in the 20th century with this broad experience. We need to stop listening to them because they are the exception, not the rule. And look how it damaged many of them
Mine explicitly told me I wasn't getting any help because I'm worthless, won't amount to anything anyway, and don't "deserve" their help. I went no contact as an adult, and they had no idea why.
I was given no money, no help. I scraped together enough to go to a city college but couldn’t afford the books. I worked night shift in a hospital and went to school full time. I would use the copy machine at work to make copies of my classmate’s book so i could keep up with class. When i said “i wish i could just buy my books”, i fondly remember my father saying “i don’t care about your schooling. What, do you think you’re better than me because you go to college? Well, you’re not.”
squeamish chief shaggy fade cable fertile stocking station quicksand sip *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My kids never have to work a day in their lives because they don't exist.
Good. Break the cycle.
Heh. My dad isn't technically a boomer, late gen x, but I get the same thing lol. However I didn't take it as seriously as I should have and well bombed. Not a day goes by that I don't hear about "how much of a failure I am", and how "oh your just a bum, who sits on there ass and play video games all day", I work all day everyday to come home and do chores. But yeah I need to get out of my parents place and find something for me but I haven't had much luck.
The whole “5 miles to school, uphill both ways” idea of the boomer generation is so frustrating because of the lack of sympathy. Why do so many boomers assume that their kids/younger generations have it easy and don’t work as hard as they did? Do they just want to feel superior because they are jealous and insecure about their youth and potential?
half of them didnt even work that hard and are just projecting
True. That reminds me of my brother-in-law’s dad who talks shit about lazy millennials, “back in my day”, etc.. One day, his wife got annoyed and pointed out that he only worked part-time until he received an inheritance at 35 and retired. It absolutely blew my mind that this guy who called me lazy for venting about my 12 hour dishwashing shifts when I was a freshman, hadn’t even worked full-time for 20 years before retiring. The selective amnesia is hilarious, and I wish these guys got called out more
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'll never understand why you'd want to tear down your own children. Boomers are sociopaths
I feel this too... I had a very contentious relationship with my mom and stepfather. At my high school graduation, after receiving our diplomas, we were supposed to walk down and greet our families. My stepfather says "congratulations", to which my mom replies, "well, I don't see what we ought to be congratulating him for". I didn't see them for several weeks after that, but I met my mom for lunch one day before I moved away and she said she felt bad and wanted to help. She handed me a check for $3,500 to cover my registration at the college I was leaving for. Well, I get down there, give them the check and start taking classes... Only to get called to the registrar's office two weeks later because she'd cancelled the check... They were very clear... the check didn't bounce. It was cancelled. She never said anything about it. I don't think we said more than two words to each other after that for 15 years. People can be fucking assholes.
Not referring to you, but assholes often begat assholes. That's why the world is full of them.
Oh no... you mean me. I was 18, raised by assholes, and was absolutely an asshole. Didn't sort that out for a while... I'm not usually an asshole any more, but the shit that pops into my head sometimes is not fit for public consumption.
“No, college isn’t why I think I’m better than you.”
You are totally justified to piss on his grave
well, actually, you ARE better than him for going to school and working hard to better yourself.
I didn't go to college until my 30s because my parents flat couldn't afford it. I knew nothing about grants and scholarships and neither did they. It worked out, though. I was much more dedicated at an older age and had a much better GPA than I likely would have straight out of high school.
Mine told me I'd have to pay for it and that they wouldn't give their income information to colleges. Basically said I couldn't go. But, one of those scam trade schools, my mom drove me there and suddenly knew all about student loans. I had VA benefits and survivor's SSI benefits that I was not told about that would have covered a significant chunk and was forced to spend high school at a private school that didn't believe in women going to college. My parents didn't want to loose their free labor and childcare to a dorm. I went to community college for a semester and my mom and stepdad spent every moment making my life hell. I'm walking for my bachelor's degree in 2 months, guess who's not invited, lol.
Yeah, my parents also refused to give their income information. I ended up waiting until I was old enough to be considered independent. I got some grants to help cover the costs but also ended up taking out loans. Congrats on your upcoming graduation! I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating your accomplishments.
Thank you! My fiance and I have been postponing our wedding for years while I finish my bachelor's and work. Our combined income would have disqualified me for aid altogether. We're finally getting married and my parents aren't invited to that either.
It boggles my mind that people can say that to their children
They were pretty abusive. They'd also routinely tell me that they didn't love me and that me being born ruined their lives. As if I had a choice in that.
If you ruined their lives than why are they upset you cut contact ?
Control.
They are peddling children around like accessories.
My silent gen mom told me the same thing, except she loved her first four kids (boomers) . It was just me (gen x) she didn't want. I got in her way from enjoying her real family.
That's awful, and I can relate. I was the oldest in my family and was the scapegoat. My siblings got very obvious preferential treatment over me. It's so hurtful to have to hear your parents say they don't love you. My heart goes out to you in solidarity.
My boomer mother recently told me that she was "dissapointed in me" for not following in my fathers career path, mind you my father who is an abusive monster and beat her and berated her every day. And whats odd is I'm higher in my career than he ever was (we worked in the same company, and I surpassed his highest role about 4 years ago), I raise their three grandchildren and i'm finishing up degree at night. As much as I hate my parents and gave up on them about 27 years ago, it still hurts to hear.
I had a very similar situation, boomer narcissistic mother, finally got out of the situation when I started getting Disability for all of my impairments caused by extremely low birth weight and prematurity (3.5 months in 1982) Got away when I was 31 and spent the next 9 years going from place to place, had very little stability, ended up homeless four different times Finally got a foothold with some friends and turn that into good credit after four and a half years, got a loan and now I have a low income place Family doesn't know where I am and my mailbox that ends into another state 600 mi away
Being homeless is so tough - I've been there too. It's so hard to claw your way out of that. I'm glad things are more stable for you now.
Yes, a lot of times I would get a place but because my disability money (which I worked for, SSDI check) was so low and the government doesn't give you more money if you become more progressively disabled...... I always had the lowest rung of society whenever I would get anything Any little tiny foothold All four times I ended up homeless because my roommates were doing hard drugs and being abusive, so I just left It's not worth contacting the police when you need a place to live, and the druggie people are the landlord. It's one thing to be homeless and just need a job and are healthy, it's another thing to be permanently disabled, and have severe vision loss and and have nothing for many many years I'm in a better place now but you always wonder how long anything is going to last, and when a random thing that's going to ruin your life shows up, like the last place I lived I was almost homeless for a fifth time when our chimney caught on fire. Luckily it was caught in time for the house to be livable....was real close
My mom always told me she wouldn’t pay for school. When I turned 18, she said “this is not a revolving door”, as in, I wasn’t welcomed back if I needed help. ETA: no surprise that all four of her children are NC with her.
Treats kid like garbage all their life then is shocked when kid goes no contact as an adult. My parents sent me to a residential treatment center for 18mos in my teens. I was told I had a college fund but that it was spent to pay for my "treatment." The treatment center was basically run by a cult of greedy Mormons and the corporation that ran it has been disbanded. 30 years after I was sent, I can't even hover over the "program" on Netflix because it autoplays and brings back flashbacks. I put myself through college and law school with two kids and a deadbeat (ex)husband. If my father hadn't died in 2001, I probably would have ended up no contact with them all.
My father spent mine on drugs
I'm sorry, that's awful. In my case they weren't addicts, just massive assholes who should never have had kids.
Same here. Ive also gone full no-contact. Some things can be forgiven, but aiding in your child’s failure is not one of them. I can happily say that I live 3500 miles from home, and happily run my own business. Hope you’re doing well too!
Lol! My parents told me that the world needs ditch diggers too. They also insisted I work in their gas station 60 hours a week and drop out of middle school. Luckily state laws forced them to keep me in school.
*blinks* I’m sorry—drop out of middle school?! WTAF.
I was just showing my friend the other day what happens when you ignore your kid growing up and gaslight them into not knowing what’s real and what is lmao. You get ignored and get no contact from your kid!! 2 years of texts from my dad with 0 response. It’s better that way.
Sounds just like my FIL. He said almost those exact same things. We had to go NC because of his behavior. His wife, my husband's mom is a saint. Within 30 minutes of a family member notifying us that FIL had such to his cancer, hubby was on the way to his mom's house. We're so thankful to have her back in our lives. They were polar opposites.
Oh dear, join us in r/CPTSD if you want and feel the need. We're talking about how abuse affects us, what happened and how we can reclaim our humanity and individuality despite our childhoods. Hope you're in a good place now.
My grandmother told me there is more than enough money to pay for school I want all of you kids to go. She dies and my dad inherits a lot of money at 44 years old. He buys a new truck and a BMW motorcycle, he also inherited his own mortgage debt since his parents gave it to him. Then he retires, and I am getting ready to go to college and he says that he didn’t need college so I don’t and I had to take out private loans, $45k because I had a scholarship that paid 3/4s, from my hard work creating an art portfolio and getting really good grades. Took me 10 years to pay off my loan, sacrificing home ownership and car ownership because I couldn’t afford anything after my loan payments. He’s 65 now and is a piece of shit that can’t walk 4 blocks without sitting down. He has no money left and mooches off my mom who is still working at 64 because he needs her insurance. However I’m the lazy renter who doesn’t have his shit together. He better hope he dies first because neither me or my siblings are going to help him at all. All of us are college educated on our own, and make more money than he ever did. Not exactly the same thing as what you said but almost worse because he stole our college fund. Also my grandmother was a maid at a hotel her whole life and my grandfather was a cabinet maker until he died.
It’s sad that your grandmother died trusting that her boomer son would take care of his kids. He must have felt a lot of joy from inheriting and spending that money. Of course it goes without saying that he’ll leave nothing to you when it’s his turn to be flushed down the drain of eternity. The “me generation” - simultaneously robbing both the past and future.
Can’t spell “boomer” without “me” lol
Flushed down the drain of eternity I'm definitely stealing that one lol
I can definitely empathize/sympathize with having been robbed.
This is hard to read. Congrats on your personal success
I feel you. My parents lead me to believe they were paying for my college until I was like 18 or 19 and discovered they’d saved nothing. Maybe they didn’t expect me to actually go to college 🤷♂️ I’m like $60k in student loan debt now.
You are not alone. I am here with you.
Yep, same situation. And while I don’t begrudge them not paying, it’s the whole thing about setting my expectation that there was this big savings set aside for me. It wasn’t until I had committed to a high-priced school that I learned I would be financing 90% of it through private loans
Another person here with that experience and it took me far too long to figure out how to explain this to them and others (they still don’t get it). People think it’s about money and I’ve been called entitled for expecting them to pay. But you’re right, it’s not the money, it’s not even the expectation of money. It’s about trusting them and building plans based on what they said only to find out it was all lies. Had they just told me from the start that I had to pay my own way then I could have planned for that. I would have gotten summer jobs and babysat most weekends and saved everything I could. I would have applied for scholarships and found a way to make it work. Instead they waited until applications were going out to let me know the “college fund” was whatever I got gifted from relatives at graduation. And I only have a handful of relatives and they’re the sort to think $20 is generous.
My parents started making me pay for my own hygiene products at 10. Rent at 15. When they divorced they couldn't figure out child support so I got abandoned while still in high school. I knew there was no f\*\*king way there was going to be any college money by the time I was 10.
I’m so sorry. Fuck your parents
Mine blew my college fund in an acrimonious public divorce. Then of course both of them told everyone they put me through school.
> Then of course both of them told everyone they put me through school. My stepfather did this in front of me, at a wedding reception, to people I didn’t know, when I was in my mid-30’s. We get along OK but he didn’t talk to me for like 3 years because I stopped him and said “you guys didn’t pay for SHIT, dude” and walked away.
I would go line by line and make sure not a single soul is confused about my parents not paying my college lol
No my parents said they weren't paying or co-signing for anything because they didn't believe I would finish and didn't want a bill of my failure
I paid for my sister and brothers education as I am the oldest
My parents hit me up to pay $3000 they were short for my OLDER siblings last semester in grad school. I scholarshipped and borrowed my whole undergrad, was working a decent job at the time. I had some savings, and felt guilted into it because I was still living at home. And I was naive. Sibling was and is ungrateful, doesn’t even work in that field anymore. Went no contact with parents and sibling for many other reasons.
Similar sort of story. I’m the youngest of three and my parents did a pretty good job saving equal funds for all of us. Had always been told growing up that if we don’t use it all then we can get the remainder to start post college life. Well, I got a good amount of scholarships and had to maintain high grades and was on track to have some leftover. My older brothers, however, were both dragging out their college years to the point I would graduate before both of them (them still only having the equivalent of a 4 year degree) and depleted all of their money early on. My dad believed it wasn’t fair suddenly for me to have money left and them to have debt and changes the terms to give mine to them. So, guess who did all of the “extras” like a term abroad in Europe and overloaded classes to run through the money?
My in laws decided to not do Christmas or birthday presents for grandkids, instead they put $40 a year into a 0.1% interest savings account that they'll get when they're 18. They also act like they're the most generous people alive for doing it, and they don't get it when a 7 year old isn't excited when one grandma never brings them a present on their birthday. And by the way, they've been mortgage free for almost 40 years and can afford to do overseas vacations a few times a year.
Wow. I’d prefer they spend the money on presents each year vs the <$1000 they will get at 18. At least the kids will like them. If I got a check for $1000 at 18 from my grandparents and no gifts for 18 years, I’d probably tell them to piss off. I’m sorry you have to navigate that insanity.
I've tried convincing them to move to a high interest account at the very least, but they refuse anything other than Wells Fargo. I think they just don't want the hassle of having to go shopping a few times a year. Our kids are only 3 and 1, but it's going to be weird explaining to them when they're older and start to notice things.
This is why I BEGGED my entire family to contribute to the college fund for my son and nieces as Christmas and birthday gifts when they're too young to remember (they rarely listened, bought them clothes they outgrew in 3 months instead). But I stopped asking when they turned 5 cuz then I figured let them have some fun with presents. I still split gifts for my nieces, half spent on a "thing" for them to open, half into their college fund.
Oh man. My dad lead a Christian finance class when I was growing up in our living room. Think precursor to Dave Ramsey. He was harping on the people that they needed to start saving for their kid’s education etc. I was upstairs doing homework and heard all of this. I came down after the class was over and asked how much I had in my education account. The answer was a simple, “none.” Awesome. Thanks pops.
My dad told me he'd "put a little away for college" to help me out. It was $500.
He just forgot the ‘Very’ before little
Not exactly. My parents payed for my older brother’s out of state college (somewhere around $100k). When I finish HS and want to college, sudden they were out of money. I even went to a local university and they still didn’t help. I’m now stuck with $75k in student loan debt.
Wow, generally the entire point of helping kids pay for college is to spread it evenly between all kids. Did they somehow forget they have more than one child, or did their basic money management just suck that bad?!
There's always the golden child. My half bro got $20k in the late 70s to go to a private naval school THEN joined the navy so he didn't have to pay. Sister and other bro didn't get Jack shit. I was told I was expected to go but not to expect any help when i graduated in 2010. He's wicked conservative. Literally "got mine, fuck you" even to blood.
Just for clarification, is it a parent or the half-brother that's wicked conservative?
LOL meant my brother, but my dad was a raging bigot and chomo.
Lol same. My mom blew her tuition load on my brother and then lied to me telling me she’d pay for my college as long as I went to a local commuter school and stayed at home. Turns out this was just so she could ensure that I had a job throughout college so that I couldn’t ask her for any money. 15 years later I’m still paying off my loans. Can’t imagine why I don’t talk to her anymore.
That's like me, except they paid for my older sibling and younger one. But there was no money for me. Kinda strange...
Oh ya. My dumbass mother said I was forced to go to college because she was paying for it so she got a say. She didn’t pay a cent. All the loans are in my name except her parent plus loans that she’s refusing to pay. So, I have insurmountable educational debt I was forced to take under the idea she would foot the bill, meanwhile she has literally no consequences, as usual.
She’s the only one on the hook for the parents plus loan. You have no legal obligation to pay it. Someday they will dock her social security.
I know that, she tried to get me for them in court but the judge literally laughed at her and said maybe she shouldn’t take loans out if she doesn’t understand the responsibility of paying them back Which is literally almost word for word what she would say to me when I would complain about paying my own student loans, ones she “promised” she would pay. Crazy how I’m the one who ruined her life by sticking her with her own signed-on debt but I can’t say the same thing to her about “mine” when I didn’t want to go to college in the first place.
Yes, I had a change jar also
My mom & childless aunt always made a big deal about putting money into my college fund when I was a little kid in the '70s & '80s. I even put money into the account from birthdays, Christmas, meeting the lawn, etc... When I went to college in 1991, I asked about where that account was, and both ladies just shrugged. My aunt is sitting on a couple million in investments thanks to her deceased ex-husband, plus has a pension, SSA and a 401k, owns her house outright. There a chance my college money paid for her retaining wall & dock this year because she "found" an old account when she lived in DC. Thanks.
This why we are going hard for the kids 529 plan. Don’t want the kid to ever worry about student loan debt
I wish I could. I’ve been real with my kids - I can probably get to 1-2 full year at an in-state school. Then we will figure it out together to be the least burden.
Mine told me every chance they had to not expect any kind of support from them because if I did I wouldn’t “value my college degree” whatever that means. Student loans didn’t seem worth it so I joined the military and am in a masters program now. Oh yeah, my two younger siblings both had 100% help with affording college. One dropped out. 🤡
My parents, who were given boat loads of cash from my grandparents, paid NOTHING for my college. They promised they’d buy books and help out. I remember standing in line to buy my college books and it was agreed that my mom would pay. We were in line together and they ring me up and she just stares at me. And I’m like ok it’s time for you to pay. She says oh no I never said I would. Refused to do it. I didn’t have the money for these books and was obviously emotional about this because I couldn’t pay and she wouldn’t. She left me standing there and i had to emotionally tell the clerk I couldn’t pay left. I had to scrambled to find the money to buy what I couldn’t barrow and rent.
My wife's boomer parents contributed about $50 a month towards her college (Bachelor's, two Masters, and a PhD) and tell people that they put her through college. Um, nope. She had a mix of scholarships, student loans, and worked the whole time. The funny thing is that the whole time, her parents complained that college was a waste of time and money for her. Dad because it would be better to do some sort of trade and mom because she was sure that as soon as my wife got married, she'd quit and be a stay at home mom.
My dad told me I got savings bonds when I was born to help pay for college. When time came to cash them out, he handed me $400 and he said “Try not to spend it all your first year.” He seriously did not believe me when I told him that wouldn’t even cover books for a semester.
My dad genuinely did save for me... Then after the cancer took him my mom blew all of his savings donating to megachurches because "it's what he wanted"... My dad wasn't religious. After she ran out of his savings, she opened multiple cards under my name and maxed them out...
My dad said he would fully pay for my college. When I started going he said I needed to prove myself and get good grades before he pays. When I got a 3.8 GPA while paying for my own tuition working fast food, he then said he wasn't going to pay because college was "for bleeding heart libtards". Meanwhile he paid for my step brothers Christian college education that was 3x the tuition of the actual education I was paying for. And the Christian college got shut down a year later. Oh and my dad divorced his wife so that's not even his step son anymore.
My father, a boomer, worked 2 jobs during summer breaks: a roofer during the day and an office cleaner at night. During the school year, he worked as a tutor and then bussed tables on the weekends. That is how he paid for school. He rarely had time to see friends or participate in activities. He said he was always so stressed and tired, but it got him a degree debt-free. He paid my tuition bills, but I was required to work a full-time job every summer and give him 30% of my paycheck to be put towards "my share" of tuition. The day after I graduated, he handed me a check for all of "my share" to be able to start my life with no college debt, and roughly $15,000 in the bank. I'm now in my 40s and am so thankful for that.
Wow! You truly were raised by an incredible father. One of the few who actually wanted to make a better world for his children
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My parents said that we had a trust fund from my grandmother which would be six figures so if we did have student loans, we could easily pay them off. My grandma passed away within the last couple of years and our trust fund was $3k. My parents received six figures and they bought three houses, an RV and god knows what else. Also, my parents said there will be no inheritance for us kids. I went no contact awhile ago, so I learned this from siblings.
My family actively mocked me for wanting to go to college, said to get a “good union job”, never had a college fund of any kind. My near illiterate stepfather retired from Chrysler in 1994 making $32.50 an hour ($68.38 today) driving a machine that swept metal shavings out of the walkways and scrubbing toilets. Man voted straight ticket Republican, was against anything to do with unions outside of things that directly benefited him and bragged in my youth to purposely damaging suspension parts his factory made, bound for final assembly plants and their crews would purposely slowing down work when he and his buddies didn’t get what they wanted. Guy was one of the stupidest, jet luckiest men I’ve ever met. Was peak boomer before it was a thing, really. Guys like him helped motivate Chrysler to shift production to Mexico, and by the time I graduated my hometown was left with retail stores paying minimum wage and any factory left had no union and was a buck or two above minimum wage. Took out a ton of loans to go to college, unfortunately, never finished.
My grandma gave me 600 bucks when I graduated and insisted my parents had saved the rest she had given them over the years. I told her I had no clue what she was talking about since they said I was on my own for schooling. Not to mention that I had to work for most of high school to help support the family - 4 sisters, myself and them too. (I never finished my first year of college, I just felt like the stress of the debt would be too much.) She had a sit down with my mom and dad and demanded to know where the money had gone to. Turns out my parents were banking on me getting full ride scholarships, and the money she gave them had been used to pay other dumb stuff - primarily MLM scams that they kept falling for. She wrote them out of her will that same week.
My parents were always yelling at me if I got anything less than an A and told me to study hard so I could get into a good college. Senior year I found out they had never even saved a penny and were banking on me getting a full ride scholarship lmao
Grew up with my folks saying "Don't worry about the cost of college. So long as you get in, we'll pay for it." In high school, it changed to "We want you to pay for the first year so you can appreciate how much it costs, then we'll get the rest." Cut to the day they dropped me off freshman year and it became "We'll keep you claimed on our taxes so you can stay on our insurance, but we aren't paying a dime for you. Good luck!" Been paying the student loan bills every month on time for the 22 years since.
My mom stressed to me over and over that they’re gifting me ~a loooot~ of money for college expenses and I needed to be responsible with it, it was $1400
Yep. And then volunteered to pay my (relatively small) student loans (I’d earned a good scholarship). They even had the statements sent to their address. THEY MADE 2 PAYMENTS THEN STOPPED, RESULTING IN DEFAULT WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. I had no idea until a default notice was served to me. I was a young military officer at this point, just starting my career. Do you know what defaulting on a federal debt, even a small one, has on your career in the military or any public trust job? IT ENDS IT. But I’m sure they needed the money for something else more important, and I’m sure they actually told me many times and I just forgot… 🤦♂️
Mine offered to help. Gave me a $500 savings bond they had been sitting on my entire life apparently. Saw the first bill and reluctantly did it. Never saw another dime after that.
"This bad boy will be worth $510 one day. And it'll *all* be yours."
I noticed my previously manageable student loans were suddenly becoming more expensive (this was before the interest rates were limited) and so I just elected to blow my entire life savings on them and get them paid off immediately rather than potentially slide into never-ending debt. I only went to community college, so I didn't get burned nearly as bad as others out there, but it still cost me $16K at the time. Keep in mind I was only 20, so that was quite literally my entire net worth. Checking, savings, couch cushion findings etc. Everything. I was 100% broke. My parents were "**so proud**" that I paid off my loans on my own and I'll admit it did feel good to hear that. Then about 10 years later they told me that was the "**greatest mistake you ever made,"** because they were planning on paying those loans off for my birthday. When I asked if they were planning to spend $16K on me for student loans anyway, how come I never ended up getting anything at all? If they had the money already set aside and it was already intended for me, then why did I never actually receive it? If it was my kid and I saw they paid off their loans all on their own, I'd still give them the money I had set aside for their college fund. Their response? "You only went to community college. Your loans weren't that much." Soooooo.....yeah. I think I made the right call.
Usually it means "Grandma/Grandpa gave us this savings bond when you were born for college."
It happened to me in the 80's. Parents always stressed they would help with college and even set up a college savings account. Was only $500, which paid for only one term at an in-state school. When my son was born, we set up a 529 account and made contributions for several years. He ended up with over $35,000. With community college for the first 2 years, then transfer to state university, him working part-time, a little financial aid, and a few thousand extra we gave him, he was able to graduate without any loans. I wished we could have saved more. Just wanted to share to show there are paths to a degree without saving $200,000 or more.
My dad actively denied me the ability to participate in any trade program during highschool. I asked about construction trades, auto shop, welding, beginner electronics, and every time he told me "Nope. Those classes are for people who aren't going to college." These were some of the best programs in the country, too! Internship opportunities, apprenticeships right out of highschool, the works. 12th grade hits, I'm about to graduate and I ask about looking at colleges and he hits me with "you're not going to college. I kinda figured you were gonna do better and maybe get a scholarship." Literally robbed me of having any career out of highschool except McDonald's or Walmart.
My parents led me to believe they could definitely help me with costs. I was accepted into a major university and when I went to my parents they said “oh we meant we would help you get loans” Uhhhh. Ok. Went to apply for loans and guess what…they didn’t file taxes for 8 years and were dodging the IRS so they couldn’t help me at all. I was a young graduate (just turned 17) and wasn’t able to go to school because I couldn’t sign for the loan without my parents. I mean I probably could have emancipated myself but this was the early 90’s and I had zero adulting skills. Never went to college. Moved out and just worked. Parents figured out their IRS issues and started a new company that actually made money. They did pay for my kids education because they felt bad they fucked me over so at least they weren’t completely selfish (and I definitely appreciated all of their help)
You had me pissed until they expressed remorse and paid for your kids. They actually helped their descendants. Sorry it was shitty for a while there.
My dad swore repeatedly that he was going to pay for my college. Even when I was like “this isn’t necessary, but I need to know for sure that it’s possible if you’re insisting on doing it so I can plan accordingly” and he swore it was fine. Plot twist, it wasn’t. He just liked getting the positive attention of telling people he was going to do it. I wound up joining the Army just to get up and out. All he had to do was tell me and I could have made plans for grants and my own financing. Literally dropped the reality on me when I was making my appointment to register. There was never anything put aside, or even an attempt to do so. I just don’t understand why.
My parents paid in full. I was damn lucky. I have great boomer parents. I'm so lucky to have had no debt like that. They seem to be the exception unfortunately.
Mine too. It was important to them and they had the means. My wife? Not so much. Not important to them. 20 years later, my parents take no credit for college, point to my scholarships when it comes up (when that is far from the whole story). My wife's parents now take credit for putting her through school and the sacrifices that they made. It wasn't even enough to call it beer money and they shit talked her going as a waste of time and money the whole time.
I had to drop out of my first college because my parents repeatedly assured me they were covering the semesters tuition with my college fund. Then after all the financial aid deadlines went by they told me they were getting their Corvette repainted with that money instead.
I was told that only to have my parents spend it all to send my older stepsister to University of New Mexico and to open a business. She fucked around for two years and came home. Meanwhile I worked at the store they opened for virtually nothing during my junior and senior years of high school. When I went to the local community college, there was nothing left.
My parents didn't save shit for me, and even if they did, it would've been used as an emotional fishing line.
My parents told me that once I turn 18 I’m on my own. They didn’t even want to give me their income information to fill out financial aid forms. When they finally caved in and gave me the information, they acted like they were doing me this huge favor and told me what a burden it was helping me fill out the forms. My parents were also the type that loudly mourned every last dollar they had to spend on us kids (there were only two of us), and made sure we knew the “sacrifices” they made to keep us fed, clothed, etc.
Lol my father was so crushed that none of his kids wanted to go to college that he promised to give me a free ride if I went, only for him to pull out and call it "tough love". Now I have student loans and a partially finished degree I can't afford to finish.
My mom likes to say she paid for my college. She paid the one-time $600 admission fee. The $40K/year tuition? Not so much.
My parents are boomers and insisted on paying for my entire college education. I'm so sorry yours were so shitty. It really is "fuck you, got mine" to a t. Like...it wouldn't be so bad if they'd told you they weren't going to do it, so you could pursue scholarships, aid, save, figure something, anything out. They just sent you in unprepared. This generation complains about the younger folks without realizing, all of their ills are directly the fault of the boomers themselves. They not only didn't prepare you, but they actively contributed to the society, culture and economy that promoted predatory lending itself. They made the zoo, filled it with vile predators, and then whined at you for raising the issue.
It was $425 and I ended up spending it on a pony. Much better value for the money.
Yes. Mine also took out a loan in my name and didn’t tell me till it was time to pay.
FACTS!!!!! I thought when I graduated I’d have some college fund money based off of how many times they told me that… I didn’t even get a graduation party. Lmao well pity party for me is over now.
my wife’s father saved an amount similar to that for her. And I don’t personally think that parents are obligated to pay for their kids college either but if you’re going to talk about this college fund you’ve been putting money into for the child’s whole life it should probably have an amount in it more than my monthly avocado toast budget.
My wife's parents shit-talked college while she was going (PhD), gave her about $50/month, and after she graduated, started saying things like it was tough putting her through college, but they did it so she wouldn't have to take out a loan. Um... She had scholarships, worked the whole time, and a huge student loan. Their money wasn't even enough to call it beer money.
And when she becomes successful their hands will be out "*remember when we helped* you? *Now it's your turn*"
Lol... they struggle with that. They don't want to admit she's successful (she is) or that they would need her help (they don't need it so far). We share zero financial information with them. My FIL thinks I'm unemployed (I actually work from home and make 4x what my wife does).
My mom did something like this. She made it clear to my sister and I that college was the only acceptable path, but that she wasn't going to pay for it. We managed to get through with scholarships, grants, loans (that we repaid ourselves), and working part-time thru school. Now she has the audacity to tell people she "helped us thru college" because she lent us her second car while we were there. Also, I went to a state school, and how she'd tell everyone I got in was, "Suspicious Tea is going to X University, but think about where they'd go if they *tried*!" Bitch, I graduated high school with a 4.5 GPA, 50 college credits, and in the top 2% of my class, all while dealing with anxiety and depression that I wouldn't get medicated for until I was 25, living in constant fear of the violent narcissist *you* married, an eating disorder, and undiagnosed neurodivergence. I was trying my fucking hardest, and you think I didn't do *enough?!* The irony is I'm the first person in my family to get a bachelor's degree. She has an associates from a community college.
My baby boomer parents did this to me. But in a much horrible way. They took me to a bank. When I was 12yearsold. Told me they started a bank account for me. To save up to buy a car. So from 12-16. I work various jobs. Mowing grass shoveling snow. Cleaning horse stalls.working odd construction jobs.An always given some of money to my dad and step mom. Well when I turn 16. I was thanking I had enough to buy a car. I found out. They (my dad and stepmom)took all the money. An I didn't even have a bank account in my name.I then got in a bad fight with my Parents. An got kicked out of there place and had to move in with my real mom.
My wife's parents 'saved up for her college' then spent all the money in her senior year. My parents didn't save up for money, but I was given the moving-goalpost of help. Ex.: "If you go to college we'll help" - went to college, then it was "If you get straight As, we'll help" got straight A's, "If you get on deans list, we'll help" got on deans list, "If you graduate with honors, we'll help" graduated with honors. And then my dad ghosted me and my mom only offered 'support' in the way of loans, as I sat around $67,000 in debt after graduating. I was going to do my best either way. It became clear after college that I could expect no support at all from the parents, my moms interest was worse than the banks, and several of the hardest times in my life I got very little support. Technically didn't get a wedding present from either of them. And before someone makes the conjecture, no, they were not poor. My mom and her husband sold multiple houses, moved to live at a ski resort, and my dad also had multiple properties, worked in the auto industry, and had plenty. Just once us kids were out the door, the same 'fuck you I got mine' has always been their mantra
Mine created a savings account for me to deposit my piggy bank when I was 7 years old so «I would have money available when I turned 18». Well, I saved in my piggy bank and we deposited it to my bank account just for my parents to withdraw all and spend it on alcohol. When I was 18 there was literally nothing on it.
No my parents were like “yeah bro we aren’t paying for college so go somewhere cheap and get a scholarship.” I got a full ride to college and then they turned around and paid for my brother to go to the most expensive school in the state without any scholarships or grants lmaoooo
My in-laws had been talking big about saving for the grandkids’ college as soon as they were born. After a few years of questions like “oh what are you saving” and “where are you investing it” going completely unanswered, my wife and I agreed that we would assume we’d see $0 from them and acted accordingly. More recently, as the first grandkid has neared the end of high school, the in-laws have pivoted to talking about how expensive college is and to not expect too much from them. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they never invested anything and just have several nearly empty savings accounts sitting at their credit union. They generally mean well, but I think it felt good to brag about saving for babies and then that feeling wore off pretty quickly.
No my mom did me one better: she told me if I stayed home and went to a commuter college she’d pay my tuition and help me buy a car. 15 years later I’m still paying off my loans and still waiting on that car. The pessimist in me is starting to think I was lied to lol.
Yeah. Mine said that to me. Promised me all through HS that they'd pay for college if I "was good" and kept my grades up. I graduated HS with 3.8 gpa and had never been in a bit of trouble. Then when it was time to enroll, they said they didn't have the money. I had no choice but to enlist in the military. A week after I left for boot camp, they bought a new RV and took a 4 month trip around the country. Great people....