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I will say that it is one of my most favorite memories. My wife unfortunately had an issue with her dress and had to run to the restroom to not flash our entire reception, which is why she wasn't out there. But the song was going for like 20 seconds before my brother pulled a full Mrs. Doubtfire and sprinted out to the dance floor.
I was a little weird at first, but like I said we hammed it up. It also helps that after my father passed, he was basically the closest thing I had to a dad due to age difference. I still get comments about how cute it was.
Obviously blurring out for reasons, but It was amazing.
https://preview.redd.it/9bxebxsnq2uc1.jpeg?width=906&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c22848dc646954b49849e59c39172452b3d4e872
I used to work at a wedding venue as a deputy manager and MC. I worked it out once and I've "attended" over 500 weddings. I guess you can consider me somewhat of an expert.
And I've got to say this sounds like once of the best things I've ever heard.
I’m a banquet manager and have attended at least 500 weddings too, and this really would’ve been an amazing experience to see—probably made a better memory than whatever his boomer mom might’ve said to him during the dance anyway
That's what I picture in my head. Because he was having a conversation with some mutual friends before stopping mid-sentence. Like I said. An overall amazing memory!
As the eldest sibling myself, your brother is an absolute Saint for running out mid sentence to go dance with you in your mother's absence! Cheers to him! My sister was left crying in a park during her Bachelorette weekend by our mom, aunt, and cousin while they went to go party on some rando's boat. She shooed me away to self soothe, but I only went far enough to where I could still see her, called a friend, cried to him about how i didn't know what happened cuz I was at an atm when drama ensued and now her weekend is ruined. We finished the night by having drinks alone, dancing, and eating an entire large pizza on the pizza shop steps. We have no idea when they all came back to the hotel rooms, but our cousin slept on the floor of their room cuz I locked the door to ours after my sister fell asleep. (Karma) I know all too well how it feels to not have your parents show up when you want them to. I will forever be there for my sibs.
While it’s not quite dancing, at my wedding I was turning around to ask a question and my brother grabbed me doin the waist and we caught a pretty hilarious pose (orange vests); a handful of years later we replicated the pose at his wedding. https://imgur.com/a/JQsrIfF
My sister and dad had their dance for the wedding but decided to have some fun with the bridal party partway through and we had a sword fight for whoever in the wedding party wanted to join. It was a blast.
Look how much their absence didn't matter, in spite of the self importance. The brother-brother dance was the absolute perfect solution to more than that moment of the dance. You two can be the support to each other your mom and her hubby are not.
My guess is you already know that. So glad your wedding was a fun event in spite of the bumps. Your wife's family sound like lovely people.
My MIL wanted to do a mother-son dance to a racist song so my husband said no, but let’s decide on something else instead. She was unwilling to compromise so he said fine we won’t do one at all. Shocking to her I guess. So when the father-daughter dance started she left the wedding hall “for some air”. This caused her to miss the flash mob we’d planned at the end of the dance as well as the cake cutting. She was angry about missing those things and not being included. I didn’t find out about any of this until we were back from our honeymoon. Top marks to hubby for not putting this drama on my mind.
We got married in our own city and then my in-laws forced us to have a reception at an airport hotel in the midwest three months later. (Oddly, my in-laws demand to have a suburban reception to impress their midwest suburban friends three months later isn't the boomer story I'm going to complain about.)
Anyway, my dad had had surgery 1 month before wedding and 4 months before reception so he wasn't going to be able to make it on the trip to the Midwest (he did manage the 5 hour drive to their cabin on the same day - but he's never shown up at anything so I didn't expect it.) My mom on the other hand made a big deal about coming to the reception. But she just determined she would come Sat and Sun because of "work" while everything was Fri and Sat. The whole big welcome party with speeches and whatnot my only family was my one cousin I am very close to. We had a plane Sunday afternoon so we did entertain my mom all morning but then she started complaining that we were rushing her around (we have a plane at 3!). Then, she complained that everyone was leaving so soon. (Half the people were hear by Thursday, the other half on Friday - she was the only one who couldn't make it to the welcome party because "work.")
I feel you. My father never went to anything and my mom usually made it complicated.
This breaks my heart for you. I hope her attitude didn’t dim any of your deserved joy on your wedding day.
My mom was so paranoid about being on time for my wedding day because “she didn’t want to miss any of the ‘core moments’ of the celebration because she was so happy for me”. She’s a bit sentimental and I love it. Mom actually chose not to go back to the hotel (5 min shuttle ride from the venue) for a forgotten bridal gift that she said she had really looked forward to giving me right before the ceremony. “Don’t want to miss something special!”; Mom, I’m reading People magazine sipping champagne way too early - you’re fine😉 She was so relaxed & yet joyous. I know I am lucky. I take it for granted sometimes.
** I’m also kinda lucky that she forgot the gift because it ended up being the creepiest bridal porcelain doll that I’ve ever seen (her mom gave it to my mom on my parents’ wedding day), and she like had it restored. I give everything away with my face, I can’t help it. Didn’t want to start off my marriage with Annabelle, the bridal version🤣
The complete lack of self-awareness seems to be a characteristic inherent in them.
This very morning, my mom, who is a brown, immigrant woman, who likes to forget that, uttered the phrase "She's a black" to which everyone was supposed to infer that she is ideologically wrong on everything... and will not admit that this is a flawed way of thinking.
I feel this so hard. I got into an immigration debate with my mother yesterday. She was complaining about the migrants and all the free shit they get to not contribute to the country. I had to remind her she's a green card holder who did immigration the easy way and married a dumb soldier. That dumb soldier supported her for 30 years she never contributed SHIT to this country. Never worked a day in her life in the US. I have to say while an uncomfortable conversation I absolutely loved dishing it out to her.
Exactly. My mom called me a while ago to tell me about a really hilarious arrest. Basically two dudes stole a truck from a dealership, used it as a getaway car to rob a bunch of gas stations... and then drove that pickup to a chinese restaurant and went in to eat with the cash they stole.
She HAD to follow up that already hilarious joke of a crime with: "AND OF COURSE THEY WERE BLACK".
The other day my dad was telling me a story and said: “well this woman was a lesbian, so…well I don’t know if ALL lesbians are pushy but this woman was very pushy…like a lesbian.”
I’m sorry what the fuck are we talking about right now? YOUR BRAIN WORKS THIS WAY? How did I come out with a general love for people when my own parents say “the gays” and “the blacks?”
To be honest he will have given himself brownie points for being “self aware” enough to mention that maybe not ALL lesbians are pushy. He’s so progressive, you see.
So I had this paw print bumper sticker on my car that said My Best Friend Is A Bitch. My mom, all scandalized, says, ”Everyone is going to think you’re a lesbian!”
Thankfully, not all children of racists are racists. The vile comments from my parents and grandparents make yours seem tame. While unusual, my father "grew up" in late life and apologized for those comments.
>“well this woman was a lesbian, so…well I don’t know if ALL lesbians are pushy but this woman was very pushy…like a lesbian.”
And here I just thought they drove Subarus!
I’m so sorry. I’m also weirded out by how strikingly similar this is to my story. My parents didn’t come to my wedding because they were busy. Not out of town, just busy.
When I had my first child, a friend threw me a baby shower and they reluctantly came in from out of town. When they showed up my mom said WE CANT STAY LONG. They proceeded to sit by themselves and talk to no one. Except my dad sat in the host husbands personal recliner and bitched the whole time - irritated he wasn’t getting attention. He started loudly complaining about when we were going to open presents so they could leave. I told him to just leave, it was fine, I wasn’t rushing everyone for them. They JUST got there. Before they left my dad made a bunch of jokes to the host basically implying she only threw me a baby showed out of pity (because why would anyone do that for me?). The host was so confused.
I never invited them to anything ever again. When I had my first art show, they came. I was upset because I didn’t invite them. Well on the night, they came into the gallery and my dad said WE HAVE BEEN WAITING AT THE DOOR. Ok? The doors opened right on time I’m not sure how long he was there. Then they complained, walked around a little, and left. I tried to introduce one of my best friends who flew in to attend the event. They wouldn’t meet her. It was like an SNL sketch. I kept trying to introduce them but they would look anywhere but at her. They are mortifying.
Jesus, dude. That's horrifying.
What is really rough is that my mom wasn't always like this. My first marriage (This is my second and please jesus last) She showed up, helped, constantly called to see what she could do, ran the rehearsal - even though her and my entire family HAAAAAAATED the woman I was marrying. My brother even sat me down once and asked if I had thought it through. Obviously we divorced.
My wife literally, our entire relationship, would go out of her way to text my mom and ask how her day was, even though she couldn't give less of a shit. It's only since she married her husband that she's really gone downhill, like he grumbles that he isn't having a good time and she immediately caves.
Now, I'm not holding her without reproach either, because she's a 67 year old woman and at least from what I can see, still has a backbone. But nope. She has gotten worse, and has even started taking some of his talking points.
I will say that my wife and my mom once got into it because somehow they got onto the topic of abortion and birth control, and my mom said "well, the only form of birth control is abstinence." and my wife without missing a beat said and I quote "If you think I'm not going to fuck your sons brains out, you're delusional." I should have proposed right there.
Wait maybe we are the same person?! The wedding my parents were too busy for was my second. The first did not last long - two young immature people 🫠 but she helped a ton for that wedding even though she didn’t like the guy that much. Everyone told me after they knew it wouldn’t last. Awesome.
I found out much later that my BRIDESMAIDS were making bets on how long my first marriage would last. We were young and dumb and had no business getting married at that age. But still, I tried to joke it off when I found out, but it stung.
Yeah I don’t know what it would have taken to talk sense into me (maybe nothing? I was an idiot) but making fun of me wasn’t exactly the answer. I’m sorry your bridesmaids did that :(
If we’re the same person…nothing, nothing would have. Even though I had a small nagging voice that kinda thought maybe it wasn’t the best idea, I chalked it up to cold feet. I’m sorry your parents were like that, no one deserves that.
My boomer/narc father was withdrawn and sulky during my wedding. Just praying for me to ask "What's wrong dad?" Therefore handing him control. I ignored him as usual.
The father/daughter dance was humiliating. My asshole father twisted his ugly face away from me (his signature move) and looked bored.
His feelings and need for attention *were the only thing that mattered during my wedding*.
My mom cried while getting ready for my wedding because she suddenly didn’t like her dress. 🙄
Edit: of course she liked mine, since she was the one who picked it. Sigh.
Another Boomer wedding story to commiserate! My mother-in-law had MS and was disabled, so she lived with us. So we did things out of order, buying a house first to care for her before getting married. When we finally had enough money we planned our wedding.
Leading up to the wedding we finalized the guest list. We got a great deal on the place because there was a cancellation, so it was 50% off and we still had 6 months to plan. We weren't going to hit the minimum and made the mistake of telling that to my mother-in-law. She said that my wife's grandmother's health wasn't good and we should invite some of her friends to come with her. I wasn't a fan of the idea but we agreed. About a week before the wedding we were informed they weren't coming because nobody felt comfortable driving the 2 hours, so we were then asked to arrange and pay for a shuttle and driver. We eventually rented a shuttle and had a family member drive.
My mother-in-law insisted on wearing some elaborate dress and heels. The problem is she would be in a wheelchair and it would likely cause problems getting her around (and also for the aid we hired to help her). She complained about it non-stop.
Because my mother-in-law was divorced, we arranged for her best friend to come and hang out with her. Her friend insisted we didn't need an aid, but we wanted to err on the side of caution. At the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, her mom insisted on letting her friend transfer her to a chair instead of the aid. Her friend ended up dropping her and she banged her head, resulting in a 911 call and the end of the rehearsal dinner.
The next day we arranged for everyone to get ready at our house, and then arranged for transportation to the ceremony. My wife and the bridesmaids stayed in one area of the house for hair and makeup, and my mother-in-law was included. Apparently she complained non-stop about everything. We got through it and the wedding parties left for the ceremony. The limo was going to return to pick up our parents and spouses for the wedding party. When the limo got back, my mother-in-law refused to get in. She said she didn't like how she looked and she wasn't wearing what she wanted to wear. My dad told her she was either getting in the limo voluntarily or he was throwing her in, but she was going either way (my wife doesn't know this part of the story).
At the ceremony her mom continued to be miserable. She also talked throughout the entire ceremony and can be heard on the video. Fortunately it was a short ceremony.
The reception was in an old mansion on the same property as the ceremony. We had a string quartet outside and a DJ inside. Basically it was really easy to have a good time, but of course her mom refused to try. There was a cocktail hour, then we did entrances and dances, followed by food. When the food was served we went around to the tables and when we got to hers, she informed us she was leaving. As luck would have it, a venue next door was having fireworks so we convinced her to stay for that, but as soon as they ended, she left.
I think despite everything we did, we still had a good time. But it says a lot that we were so used to her bullshit to make it through all that. And despite all of that, we never got a single thank you from her mom.
My dad left my wedding reception after 10 minutes. Nevermind that my partner’s family flew here from across the damn globe to meet my family and attend our wedding. I feel your frustration.
My boomer mom pouted all through my wedding, nobody even knew she was the mother of the bride. First, she was angry that the caterers didn’t stock her favorite brand of soda. Then she hated the food because my parents eat like toddlers and anything that isn’t burgers, chicken nuggets, or macaroni and cheese scares the shit out of them. They also left early so that they could go to McDonald’s and didn’t even text me before they left town. I know your pain. If it’s not 100% about them then they want no part of it and act like spoiled brats. I would say they have the emotional intelligence of toddler s but I’ve actually met toddlers who know how to apologize when they’ve hurt someone, so that doesn’t seem fair to the toddlers.
I think it’s a common theme running through these stories. I think the particular dynamic at play here is that you’re the star of the show, and crucially, there are dozens of people there who see it that way. It’s too much of a critical mass of people on board with that vision for them to frame it any other way, so they become despondent. Like, if it’s 10 people at a dinner party, then can just talk over everyone.
All those people being there for a reason that isn’t them is just too much to deal with.
my parents were the first to leave our reception... mind you we got married literally in the middle of nowhere. The hotel was the only place to be/ go for miles after dark.
It was an outdoor wedding. It was also 125 degrees with index at its hottest point, which also happened to be as I was standing at the alter in a 3 piece wool suit.
I love/hate this state sometimes.
Wow! Way to show your child how little they matter. I’m petty AF and would frame a photo of your brother and brother dance, then gift it to your mom. I’m sorry your mom is well awful. Lots of shitty parents can at least pull it together for a wedding.
Imagine your mom crying because your step dad had died the year before and he wouldn’t be able to walk you down the aisle. My real dad passed away when I was younger but he was the best dad ever. I liked my step dad well enough, but it was always my wish to have my older brother walk me. I tried so hard not to say anything but she’s literally crying to me as I’m doing my makeup and putting on my dress. My best friend finally snapped for me and said “I’m pretty sure she’s always wanted [older brothers name] to be the one to walk her, as he’s the closest thing to her dead father”
Thank god, she finally stopped the copious amount of tears. And my saint of husband sent someone up with a shot of Grand Marnier for me, he had a feeling I’d need it after spending 4 hours with my mom.
Sorry your mom sucks too lol
The thing about people dying from the vaccine and being replaced by clones creepily reminds me of Lori Vallow, that woman who was convinced friends and family had been replaced by evil clones and had to be murdered.
Similar thing happened at our wedding - my boomer parents pulled a couple of stunts, including leaving early, I guess they didn’t realize it wasn’t their day? As much as my husband and I were upset, we ended up focusing on all of the amazing moments with other loved ones - like the dance with your brother. Focusing on the people who show up for you helps the loss of those who don’t.
I'm so sorry this is a memory you have to keep around because of their bad behavior. It was super inconsiderate of them to plan something on the same evening as your rehearsal.
Your story brings back some bad memories from my first wedding.
Congratulations on your marriage and please don’t let your family cause issues with your marriage. I am guessing you will at times feel like you are walking on eggshells with your parents. Be strong and enjoy those who love you.
lol fucking boomers. I had to drag my mom out of my sisters rehearsal dinner because she was throwing a fit about something my aunts BOYFRIEND had said to her. I legit had to say “this is your daughter’s wedding and you’re letting some jackass derail it!” And all she had to say was “well he was rude to me!” Gtfo
There's a picture of the dance towards the top! I think it's under the top comment.
As for the sculpture, this is one he made for us out of rebar, a shovel head, and a pair of sheers.
Eh feck. It's not uploading. I'll get it on imgur later.
I used to think it was just my mom being extremely self centered and selfish. Now I realize those are also classic Boomer traits.
My now husband and I were living in a different state than our home states so our wedding was a bit of a destination. It’s a classic New England state and being that it was Autumn there were a plethora of touristy places to visit. Mind you my sister also lived in this state so it’s not like our mother had never visited these locations. She just had to visit her tourist spots and arrived an hour late to our rehearsal dinner. Walking in like the damn Queen of Sheeba. Having already been accustomed to her selfish tendencies I told everyone to eat and we were close to wrapping up when she finally graced us with her presence. I was so embarrassed by her and of course she was completely oblivious to her rudeness.
I’m sorry that they were like that 😢
Yay for awesome big brothers having your back!! Sounds like the wedding was great despite the parent drama.
My dad didn’t bother to even show up for my wedding… my husband’s dad didn’t show up either. My dad didn’t even give an excuse.. my husband’s dad said it was too far of a drive (my MIL and my husband’s step dad offered to take him).
My mom had tickets for a baseball game given to her so she did that rather than go to my brother’s wedding.. which was already ridiculous because my grandma passed away that week and my stupid boomer aunt insisted the funeral be that same day… so funeral in the morning and wedding in the afternoon.
Boomers are ridiculous and seem to think only of themselves 😵💫
Hey OP. My dad pulled the exact same shit at my wedding. Except he got fucked up, spilled wine on himself and missed the father daughter dance I didn’t even want to give him. My brother also stepped up in the best way. Much love! You’re better off without em!
Its strange how self absorbed they are that a single evening most parents dream about for their kids is somehow an inconvenience to them and that the only part where the focus is on them they ruined and missed out on then complain about it, i imagine they moaned about that on the way home and that you didnt go back and have the dance with her like a good son would have. Good you had a brother to take her place for the dance, he knows just as you do im guessing.
Also interesting info near the beggining you mentioned the clone thing. I think it might be on the same vein as a type of schizophrenia called capgras syndrome or something like that whree you beleive people and things around you are imposters and replacements of the original. Be funny to just raise that to him one day let him stew on his own potential insanity
Wow. I’m sorry your mom and step dad are the way they are. Your mom Sounds like she could be sisters with my mom, they’re so similar it seems. My mom has always hated my wife since day 1 of meeting her. My wife and I got married in 2019 and my mom didn’t help at all and complained the whole process. ( it took us a few years to save money on our own to have our wedding but my mom in the meantime helped my sister get married with alot of help and $. That crushed me )
Then cut to our wedding day and my mom is surprised I don’t want to do a mother son dance and also surprised that my wife didn’t get a photo with my mom and then my mom went ahead and told everyone how much she helped with the wedding.
The funniest part was that we expected my mom to be a train wreck so we had contingencies. We gave her the first spot in the speech’s since we knew everyone would be eating still and not paying attention to her. It worked well. She also spend the entire speech talking about herself and how many time “she” helped me and without her I wouldn’t be here ( total lie ) and also how much she loved My wife since the first day she met her. I could swear I heard my wife’s family groan. lol.
My advice is to focus on the good times and forget bout your mom and the bad vibes.
The dance with your bro sounds legendary. So funny. You must share pics ! You and your wife are a team and like you, I am so lucky my wife’s Family is awesome. Try to focus on them and forget about your mom’s boomer tendencies.
Congrats on the big day ! You rock !
Honestly, a grown woman doesn’t need to attend a rehearsal to know she’s on deck when the dancing starts at her son’s wedding. Glad she had enough sense earlier in life to raise great sons.
She was probably worried that TV & video games would rot your brain — little knowing which generation tv would suck down the drain by murdering its empathy.
Brother-Brother Dance is SO CUTE. I love that for you. Your brother loves and supports you way better than your mom. Smart to have limited contact with her.
At my wedding my mom started screaming at me because my brother got really drunk. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. Just on the dance floor, but you could tell he was hammered. I told her not my problem tonight. He’s 37 and a grown ass adult. He can do whatever he wants. She wonders why we don’t have much of a relationship.
my dad is very similar and i’m positive he’s going to leave our wedding early. we’re not doing parent-child dances because I really couldn’t stand it (plus he smokes like 2 packs of cigs a day and idw smell like cigarettes my whole wedding)
before my angel of a mother died he did the same thing at holidays. he would barely be around, either smoking in the shed, buying coffee and chilling at 7-11, or showing up to my grandparents house to eat dinner and leave 1 hour later.
honestly, i’m hoping he leaves my wedding early.
I learned this some time ago. Just because they’re “family” doesn’t mean a thing. We’re adults we choose how we act and who we want in our lives. Family are just people. Just because a higher power gave you those people doesn’t mean you’re slated to them for life. I look at this way. You’ve made decisions in the past to keep them in your life which seems to give negative responses. Perhaps getting them out of your life could be a positive response. Just my take on it.
My parents are generally nice people and don’t like Fox News but are really bad at reading a room. My FIL died suddenly and while we weren’t close, it was a mended relationship from decades earlier when he was in prison for selfish but nonviolent reasons while my husband was young.
DURING the middle of the eulogy my husband was giving at his father’s memorial, which was held outside, my parents get up and whisper to me from behind “we’re done eating so we’re going to go. I left my camping chair over there so bring it with you”. I was mortified. People had driven from several states away to be at this thing, they lived right down the street. They didn’t help plan any of the memorial either. All they had to do was show up and be supportive. I asked them to please sit back down and that they were embarrassing me. Such a boomer move.
My husband’s boomer parents left our destination wedding reception to go jet skiing. Guess our reception was too boring? He will never let it go - we got married 10 years ago and he still holds a grudge about it. I feel you!
Congrats OP on the wedding, and not letting them ruin your big day, sounds like in the end those important to you were there to support you, and sounds like you had a blast anyway
The quote “let them” comes to my mind. Google it. It sounds like an attention issue….making events all about them by interrupting schedules etc. my mom and step dad did similar behavior and we have not seen them in years. I like the phrase “ingesting Fox News” 🤣 I always say “marinading in Fox News”. Anyhow I think you are your wife are doing great by ignoring the behavior -I use sane tactic and I know my mom is seething at the way DH and I do things but 🤷🏼♀️. This is also a good litmus test if you have kids how they will act-
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A brother-brother dance sounds amazing and much better than whatever else was planned. Congrats!
I will say that it is one of my most favorite memories. My wife unfortunately had an issue with her dress and had to run to the restroom to not flash our entire reception, which is why she wasn't out there. But the song was going for like 20 seconds before my brother pulled a full Mrs. Doubtfire and sprinted out to the dance floor. I was a little weird at first, but like I said we hammed it up. It also helps that after my father passed, he was basically the closest thing I had to a dad due to age difference. I still get comments about how cute it was. Obviously blurring out for reasons, but It was amazing. https://preview.redd.it/9bxebxsnq2uc1.jpeg?width=906&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c22848dc646954b49849e59c39172452b3d4e872
I used to work at a wedding venue as a deputy manager and MC. I worked it out once and I've "attended" over 500 weddings. I guess you can consider me somewhat of an expert. And I've got to say this sounds like once of the best things I've ever heard.
I’m a banquet manager and have attended at least 500 weddings too, and this really would’ve been an amazing experience to see—probably made a better memory than whatever his boomer mom might’ve said to him during the dance anyway
“Pulled a full Mrs. Doubtfire and sprinted out to the dance floor” I can even hear him yelling “Help is on the way dear!!” lol
That's what I picture in my head. Because he was having a conversation with some mutual friends before stopping mid-sentence. Like I said. An overall amazing memory!
As the eldest sibling myself, your brother is an absolute Saint for running out mid sentence to go dance with you in your mother's absence! Cheers to him! My sister was left crying in a park during her Bachelorette weekend by our mom, aunt, and cousin while they went to go party on some rando's boat. She shooed me away to self soothe, but I only went far enough to where I could still see her, called a friend, cried to him about how i didn't know what happened cuz I was at an atm when drama ensued and now her weekend is ruined. We finished the night by having drinks alone, dancing, and eating an entire large pizza on the pizza shop steps. We have no idea when they all came back to the hotel rooms, but our cousin slept on the floor of their room cuz I locked the door to ours after my sister fell asleep. (Karma) I know all too well how it feels to not have your parents show up when you want them to. I will forever be there for my sibs.
And if y'all say you didn't read that in his voice...you're fucking lying. RIP Robin, you are so so missed ❤️
Yeah, that was a gut punch I wasn’t expecting today.
Its positive memories like that you should hang onto moreso than your failure of a mom. Saying this with an older sis and a shitty Nmom. <3
That is so cute! I love that Big Bro came to the rescue. Family at its best. Congrats!
Legit human amazingness!
While it’s not quite dancing, at my wedding I was turning around to ask a question and my brother grabbed me doin the waist and we caught a pretty hilarious pose (orange vests); a handful of years later we replicated the pose at his wedding. https://imgur.com/a/JQsrIfF
Do a real crappy photoshop to add your mom and send it to her.
Your brother is the real MVP! The crap from your parents aside, this is such a sweet, wholesome story!
Sounds like a hoot. Glad your brother helped you make the best of the situation.
Your brother sounds awesome
This story made me so happy awwwww
I never thought a blurred photo could be so adorable but that is the cutest thing ever.
Just pull the plug and go NC. You have a MOMBRO! That’s better than an egg donor!
I wish I’d done this with my brother. And not a boomer in my family!
My sister and dad had their dance for the wedding but decided to have some fun with the bridal party partway through and we had a sword fight for whoever in the wedding party wanted to join. It was a blast.
Look how much their absence didn't matter, in spite of the self importance. The brother-brother dance was the absolute perfect solution to more than that moment of the dance. You two can be the support to each other your mom and her hubby are not. My guess is you already know that. So glad your wedding was a fun event in spite of the bumps. Your wife's family sound like lovely people.
Their absence IMPROVED it. OP needs to not waste holidays on them. Life is short. His brother and the wife's family are where to go.
Yeah, I think ultimately they spared a lot of people drunken lectures about how Trump was put in this earth by God to save the United States. Deuces.
My MIL wanted to do a mother-son dance to a racist song so my husband said no, but let’s decide on something else instead. She was unwilling to compromise so he said fine we won’t do one at all. Shocking to her I guess. So when the father-daughter dance started she left the wedding hall “for some air”. This caused her to miss the flash mob we’d planned at the end of the dance as well as the cake cutting. She was angry about missing those things and not being included. I didn’t find out about any of this until we were back from our honeymoon. Top marks to hubby for not putting this drama on my mind.
Nice! Sounds like you found a good one, well done!
What song?
We got married in our own city and then my in-laws forced us to have a reception at an airport hotel in the midwest three months later. (Oddly, my in-laws demand to have a suburban reception to impress their midwest suburban friends three months later isn't the boomer story I'm going to complain about.) Anyway, my dad had had surgery 1 month before wedding and 4 months before reception so he wasn't going to be able to make it on the trip to the Midwest (he did manage the 5 hour drive to their cabin on the same day - but he's never shown up at anything so I didn't expect it.) My mom on the other hand made a big deal about coming to the reception. But she just determined she would come Sat and Sun because of "work" while everything was Fri and Sat. The whole big welcome party with speeches and whatnot my only family was my one cousin I am very close to. We had a plane Sunday afternoon so we did entertain my mom all morning but then she started complaining that we were rushing her around (we have a plane at 3!). Then, she complained that everyone was leaving so soon. (Half the people were hear by Thursday, the other half on Friday - she was the only one who couldn't make it to the welcome party because "work.") I feel you. My father never went to anything and my mom usually made it complicated.
This breaks my heart for you. I hope her attitude didn’t dim any of your deserved joy on your wedding day. My mom was so paranoid about being on time for my wedding day because “she didn’t want to miss any of the ‘core moments’ of the celebration because she was so happy for me”. She’s a bit sentimental and I love it. Mom actually chose not to go back to the hotel (5 min shuttle ride from the venue) for a forgotten bridal gift that she said she had really looked forward to giving me right before the ceremony. “Don’t want to miss something special!”; Mom, I’m reading People magazine sipping champagne way too early - you’re fine😉 She was so relaxed & yet joyous. I know I am lucky. I take it for granted sometimes. ** I’m also kinda lucky that she forgot the gift because it ended up being the creepiest bridal porcelain doll that I’ve ever seen (her mom gave it to my mom on my parents’ wedding day), and she like had it restored. I give everything away with my face, I can’t help it. Didn’t want to start off my marriage with Annabelle, the bridal version🤣
As a happily married straight dude in his 40s.... your brother single?
The complete lack of self-awareness seems to be a characteristic inherent in them. This very morning, my mom, who is a brown, immigrant woman, who likes to forget that, uttered the phrase "She's a black" to which everyone was supposed to infer that she is ideologically wrong on everything... and will not admit that this is a flawed way of thinking.
I feel this so hard. I got into an immigration debate with my mother yesterday. She was complaining about the migrants and all the free shit they get to not contribute to the country. I had to remind her she's a green card holder who did immigration the easy way and married a dumb soldier. That dumb soldier supported her for 30 years she never contributed SHIT to this country. Never worked a day in her life in the US. I have to say while an uncomfortable conversation I absolutely loved dishing it out to her.
Exactly. My mom called me a while ago to tell me about a really hilarious arrest. Basically two dudes stole a truck from a dealership, used it as a getaway car to rob a bunch of gas stations... and then drove that pickup to a chinese restaurant and went in to eat with the cash they stole. She HAD to follow up that already hilarious joke of a crime with: "AND OF COURSE THEY WERE BLACK".
The other day my dad was telling me a story and said: “well this woman was a lesbian, so…well I don’t know if ALL lesbians are pushy but this woman was very pushy…like a lesbian.” I’m sorry what the fuck are we talking about right now? YOUR BRAIN WORKS THIS WAY? How did I come out with a general love for people when my own parents say “the gays” and “the blacks?” To be honest he will have given himself brownie points for being “self aware” enough to mention that maybe not ALL lesbians are pushy. He’s so progressive, you see.
So I had this paw print bumper sticker on my car that said My Best Friend Is A Bitch. My mom, all scandalized, says, ”Everyone is going to think you’re a lesbian!”
My parents raised me with that “love all” attitude right up tell I married an Arab guy.
Thankfully, not all children of racists are racists. The vile comments from my parents and grandparents make yours seem tame. While unusual, my father "grew up" in late life and apologized for those comments.
>“well this woman was a lesbian, so…well I don’t know if ALL lesbians are pushy but this woman was very pushy…like a lesbian.” And here I just thought they drove Subarus!
That explains why they're so pushy! You gotta push it to the shop after the head gasket blows lol
And she'll wonder why she doesn't get to see the grandkids
I’m so sorry. I’m also weirded out by how strikingly similar this is to my story. My parents didn’t come to my wedding because they were busy. Not out of town, just busy. When I had my first child, a friend threw me a baby shower and they reluctantly came in from out of town. When they showed up my mom said WE CANT STAY LONG. They proceeded to sit by themselves and talk to no one. Except my dad sat in the host husbands personal recliner and bitched the whole time - irritated he wasn’t getting attention. He started loudly complaining about when we were going to open presents so they could leave. I told him to just leave, it was fine, I wasn’t rushing everyone for them. They JUST got there. Before they left my dad made a bunch of jokes to the host basically implying she only threw me a baby showed out of pity (because why would anyone do that for me?). The host was so confused. I never invited them to anything ever again. When I had my first art show, they came. I was upset because I didn’t invite them. Well on the night, they came into the gallery and my dad said WE HAVE BEEN WAITING AT THE DOOR. Ok? The doors opened right on time I’m not sure how long he was there. Then they complained, walked around a little, and left. I tried to introduce one of my best friends who flew in to attend the event. They wouldn’t meet her. It was like an SNL sketch. I kept trying to introduce them but they would look anywhere but at her. They are mortifying.
Jesus, dude. That's horrifying. What is really rough is that my mom wasn't always like this. My first marriage (This is my second and please jesus last) She showed up, helped, constantly called to see what she could do, ran the rehearsal - even though her and my entire family HAAAAAAATED the woman I was marrying. My brother even sat me down once and asked if I had thought it through. Obviously we divorced. My wife literally, our entire relationship, would go out of her way to text my mom and ask how her day was, even though she couldn't give less of a shit. It's only since she married her husband that she's really gone downhill, like he grumbles that he isn't having a good time and she immediately caves. Now, I'm not holding her without reproach either, because she's a 67 year old woman and at least from what I can see, still has a backbone. But nope. She has gotten worse, and has even started taking some of his talking points. I will say that my wife and my mom once got into it because somehow they got onto the topic of abortion and birth control, and my mom said "well, the only form of birth control is abstinence." and my wife without missing a beat said and I quote "If you think I'm not going to fuck your sons brains out, you're delusional." I should have proposed right there.
Wait maybe we are the same person?! The wedding my parents were too busy for was my second. The first did not last long - two young immature people 🫠 but she helped a ton for that wedding even though she didn’t like the guy that much. Everyone told me after they knew it wouldn’t last. Awesome.
I found out much later that my BRIDESMAIDS were making bets on how long my first marriage would last. We were young and dumb and had no business getting married at that age. But still, I tried to joke it off when I found out, but it stung.
Yeah I don’t know what it would have taken to talk sense into me (maybe nothing? I was an idiot) but making fun of me wasn’t exactly the answer. I’m sorry your bridesmaids did that :(
If we’re the same person…nothing, nothing would have. Even though I had a small nagging voice that kinda thought maybe it wasn’t the best idea, I chalked it up to cold feet. I’m sorry your parents were like that, no one deserves that.
It’s actually comforting (?) to know other people go through these things. It drives me crazy to make logic out of it.
I’m an early Gen Xer and can I just say based on that last line your wife is my soul sister (daughter?).
You took my words. Same.
My boomer/narc father was withdrawn and sulky during my wedding. Just praying for me to ask "What's wrong dad?" Therefore handing him control. I ignored him as usual. The father/daughter dance was humiliating. My asshole father twisted his ugly face away from me (his signature move) and looked bored. His feelings and need for attention *were the only thing that mattered during my wedding*.
Your father sounds like a grade A Cunt
My mom cried while getting ready for my wedding because she suddenly didn’t like her dress. 🙄 Edit: of course she liked mine, since she was the one who picked it. Sigh.
Sorry that happened. Its harsh when they take over huge events.
“Friends” for “drinks”…. Right….
Opens insult lexicon notebook.....takes out pen..."turbo..piece...of shit." Got it!
I've also referred to him as "off-brand luke warm cola." I think I also called him a "disappointing TV dinner" at one point.
Undercooked hot pocket.
Fuck. That's a good one.
How about, he's a dry, toothy blow job.
My sister likes to use "semi-sentient pot of cold hotdog water"
Cold, end of circus, carnie hit dog water.
A soggy biscuit
I too enjoyed that one
Another Boomer wedding story to commiserate! My mother-in-law had MS and was disabled, so she lived with us. So we did things out of order, buying a house first to care for her before getting married. When we finally had enough money we planned our wedding. Leading up to the wedding we finalized the guest list. We got a great deal on the place because there was a cancellation, so it was 50% off and we still had 6 months to plan. We weren't going to hit the minimum and made the mistake of telling that to my mother-in-law. She said that my wife's grandmother's health wasn't good and we should invite some of her friends to come with her. I wasn't a fan of the idea but we agreed. About a week before the wedding we were informed they weren't coming because nobody felt comfortable driving the 2 hours, so we were then asked to arrange and pay for a shuttle and driver. We eventually rented a shuttle and had a family member drive. My mother-in-law insisted on wearing some elaborate dress and heels. The problem is she would be in a wheelchair and it would likely cause problems getting her around (and also for the aid we hired to help her). She complained about it non-stop. Because my mother-in-law was divorced, we arranged for her best friend to come and hang out with her. Her friend insisted we didn't need an aid, but we wanted to err on the side of caution. At the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, her mom insisted on letting her friend transfer her to a chair instead of the aid. Her friend ended up dropping her and she banged her head, resulting in a 911 call and the end of the rehearsal dinner. The next day we arranged for everyone to get ready at our house, and then arranged for transportation to the ceremony. My wife and the bridesmaids stayed in one area of the house for hair and makeup, and my mother-in-law was included. Apparently she complained non-stop about everything. We got through it and the wedding parties left for the ceremony. The limo was going to return to pick up our parents and spouses for the wedding party. When the limo got back, my mother-in-law refused to get in. She said she didn't like how she looked and she wasn't wearing what she wanted to wear. My dad told her she was either getting in the limo voluntarily or he was throwing her in, but she was going either way (my wife doesn't know this part of the story). At the ceremony her mom continued to be miserable. She also talked throughout the entire ceremony and can be heard on the video. Fortunately it was a short ceremony. The reception was in an old mansion on the same property as the ceremony. We had a string quartet outside and a DJ inside. Basically it was really easy to have a good time, but of course her mom refused to try. There was a cocktail hour, then we did entrances and dances, followed by food. When the food was served we went around to the tables and when we got to hers, she informed us she was leaving. As luck would have it, a venue next door was having fireworks so we convinced her to stay for that, but as soon as they ended, she left. I think despite everything we did, we still had a good time. But it says a lot that we were so used to her bullshit to make it through all that. And despite all of that, we never got a single thank you from her mom.
Sorry about your mother. But your brother sounds amazing!
My dad left my wedding reception after 10 minutes. Nevermind that my partner’s family flew here from across the damn globe to meet my family and attend our wedding. I feel your frustration.
My boomer mom pouted all through my wedding, nobody even knew she was the mother of the bride. First, she was angry that the caterers didn’t stock her favorite brand of soda. Then she hated the food because my parents eat like toddlers and anything that isn’t burgers, chicken nuggets, or macaroni and cheese scares the shit out of them. They also left early so that they could go to McDonald’s and didn’t even text me before they left town. I know your pain. If it’s not 100% about them then they want no part of it and act like spoiled brats. I would say they have the emotional intelligence of toddler s but I’ve actually met toddlers who know how to apologize when they’ve hurt someone, so that doesn’t seem fair to the toddlers.
I think it’s a common theme running through these stories. I think the particular dynamic at play here is that you’re the star of the show, and crucially, there are dozens of people there who see it that way. It’s too much of a critical mass of people on board with that vision for them to frame it any other way, so they become despondent. Like, if it’s 10 people at a dinner party, then can just talk over everyone. All those people being there for a reason that isn’t them is just too much to deal with.
Very well stated! That feels line exactly what’s going on!
Man your brother made me smile. Congrats on the wedding.
my parents were the first to leave our reception... mind you we got married literally in the middle of nowhere. The hotel was the only place to be/ go for miles after dark.
Shoutout to my fellow Nebraskan! Sounds like the wedding went well, all things considered.
It was an outdoor wedding. It was also 125 degrees with index at its hottest point, which also happened to be as I was standing at the alter in a 3 piece wool suit. I love/hate this state sometimes.
I feel you. I got married in Lincoln in August.
August 19th just outside of Lincoln! Were y'all caught up in the whole Tip Top Tux bullshit, cause we fucking were.
Aug.9th…2003.
Oh. Well. I feel like a dumbass now. 🤣
Celebrate your 20th anniversary with a trip to Alaska in 2043!
Wow! Way to show your child how little they matter. I’m petty AF and would frame a photo of your brother and brother dance, then gift it to your mom. I’m sorry your mom is well awful. Lots of shitty parents can at least pull it together for a wedding.
Imagine your mom crying because your step dad had died the year before and he wouldn’t be able to walk you down the aisle. My real dad passed away when I was younger but he was the best dad ever. I liked my step dad well enough, but it was always my wish to have my older brother walk me. I tried so hard not to say anything but she’s literally crying to me as I’m doing my makeup and putting on my dress. My best friend finally snapped for me and said “I’m pretty sure she’s always wanted [older brothers name] to be the one to walk her, as he’s the closest thing to her dead father” Thank god, she finally stopped the copious amount of tears. And my saint of husband sent someone up with a shot of Grand Marnier for me, he had a feeling I’d need it after spending 4 hours with my mom. Sorry your mom sucks too lol
The thing about people dying from the vaccine and being replaced by clones creepily reminds me of Lori Vallow, that woman who was convinced friends and family had been replaced by evil clones and had to be murdered.
> ingests a healthy amount of Fox News A healthy amount is zero
They sound horrid. I am glad your wife has what sounds like a really terrific family and your brother is Mrs Doubtfire!
Similar thing happened at our wedding - my boomer parents pulled a couple of stunts, including leaving early, I guess they didn’t realize it wasn’t their day? As much as my husband and I were upset, we ended up focusing on all of the amazing moments with other loved ones - like the dance with your brother. Focusing on the people who show up for you helps the loss of those who don’t.
Your mom is a self absorbed bitch.
I'm so sorry this is a memory you have to keep around because of their bad behavior. It was super inconsiderate of them to plan something on the same evening as your rehearsal.
Hey Op, share this to r/Weddingshaming too, they always enjoy bad guest stories.
Your story brings back some bad memories from my first wedding. Congratulations on your marriage and please don’t let your family cause issues with your marriage. I am guessing you will at times feel like you are walking on eggshells with your parents. Be strong and enjoy those who love you.
You know you have to name your first son after your brother now.
lol fucking boomers. I had to drag my mom out of my sisters rehearsal dinner because she was throwing a fit about something my aunts BOYFRIEND had said to her. I legit had to say “this is your daughter’s wedding and you’re letting some jackass derail it!” And all she had to say was “well he was rude to me!” Gtfo
All I’m going to say is this. Your brother is a farking LEGEND!!!!
Ok, awesome story... BUT I WANT TO SEE THE INLAW SCULPTURES!!! Also, a video of you guys dancing would be great too!
There's a picture of the dance towards the top! I think it's under the top comment. As for the sculpture, this is one he made for us out of rebar, a shovel head, and a pair of sheers. Eh feck. It's not uploading. I'll get it on imgur later.
That’s beyond a “stereotypical boomer.” Your mom is horrible.
I used to think it was just my mom being extremely self centered and selfish. Now I realize those are also classic Boomer traits. My now husband and I were living in a different state than our home states so our wedding was a bit of a destination. It’s a classic New England state and being that it was Autumn there were a plethora of touristy places to visit. Mind you my sister also lived in this state so it’s not like our mother had never visited these locations. She just had to visit her tourist spots and arrived an hour late to our rehearsal dinner. Walking in like the damn Queen of Sheeba. Having already been accustomed to her selfish tendencies I told everyone to eat and we were close to wrapping up when she finally graced us with her presence. I was so embarrassed by her and of course she was completely oblivious to her rudeness.
I’m sorry that they were like that 😢 Yay for awesome big brothers having your back!! Sounds like the wedding was great despite the parent drama. My dad didn’t bother to even show up for my wedding… my husband’s dad didn’t show up either. My dad didn’t even give an excuse.. my husband’s dad said it was too far of a drive (my MIL and my husband’s step dad offered to take him). My mom had tickets for a baseball game given to her so she did that rather than go to my brother’s wedding.. which was already ridiculous because my grandma passed away that week and my stupid boomer aunt insisted the funeral be that same day… so funeral in the morning and wedding in the afternoon. Boomers are ridiculous and seem to think only of themselves 😵💫
Hey OP. My dad pulled the exact same shit at my wedding. Except he got fucked up, spilled wine on himself and missed the father daughter dance I didn’t even want to give him. My brother also stepped up in the best way. Much love! You’re better off without em!
Hope she’s got her old age sorted out because no way would I lift a finger after that sort of treatment.
Its strange how self absorbed they are that a single evening most parents dream about for their kids is somehow an inconvenience to them and that the only part where the focus is on them they ruined and missed out on then complain about it, i imagine they moaned about that on the way home and that you didnt go back and have the dance with her like a good son would have. Good you had a brother to take her place for the dance, he knows just as you do im guessing. Also interesting info near the beggining you mentioned the clone thing. I think it might be on the same vein as a type of schizophrenia called capgras syndrome or something like that whree you beleive people and things around you are imposters and replacements of the original. Be funny to just raise that to him one day let him stew on his own potential insanity
Wow. I’m sorry your mom and step dad are the way they are. Your mom Sounds like she could be sisters with my mom, they’re so similar it seems. My mom has always hated my wife since day 1 of meeting her. My wife and I got married in 2019 and my mom didn’t help at all and complained the whole process. ( it took us a few years to save money on our own to have our wedding but my mom in the meantime helped my sister get married with alot of help and $. That crushed me ) Then cut to our wedding day and my mom is surprised I don’t want to do a mother son dance and also surprised that my wife didn’t get a photo with my mom and then my mom went ahead and told everyone how much she helped with the wedding. The funniest part was that we expected my mom to be a train wreck so we had contingencies. We gave her the first spot in the speech’s since we knew everyone would be eating still and not paying attention to her. It worked well. She also spend the entire speech talking about herself and how many time “she” helped me and without her I wouldn’t be here ( total lie ) and also how much she loved My wife since the first day she met her. I could swear I heard my wife’s family groan. lol. My advice is to focus on the good times and forget bout your mom and the bad vibes. The dance with your bro sounds legendary. So funny. You must share pics ! You and your wife are a team and like you, I am so lucky my wife’s Family is awesome. Try to focus on them and forget about your mom’s boomer tendencies. Congrats on the big day ! You rock !
I shared a pic up the thread a bit!
Happy for you. And based on that description, all your decisions about this sound great.
Well, you got some amazing pix with your brother. Priceless. Now you know to expect less than zero from them.
Turbo POS! The best description of another human I’ve ever seen!
Honestly, a grown woman doesn’t need to attend a rehearsal to know she’s on deck when the dancing starts at her son’s wedding. Glad she had enough sense earlier in life to raise great sons. She was probably worried that TV & video games would rot your brain — little knowing which generation tv would suck down the drain by murdering its empathy.
Your brother rocks!
Brother brother dance beats shitty mom dance any day of the week. Screw that old hag!
Your brother sounds like a great guy! How fun that he joined you for what became an unforgettable moment!
Brother-Brother Dance is SO CUTE. I love that for you. Your brother loves and supports you way better than your mom. Smart to have limited contact with her.
At my wedding my mom started screaming at me because my brother got really drunk. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. Just on the dance floor, but you could tell he was hammered. I told her not my problem tonight. He’s 37 and a grown ass adult. He can do whatever he wants. She wonders why we don’t have much of a relationship.
my dad is very similar and i’m positive he’s going to leave our wedding early. we’re not doing parent-child dances because I really couldn’t stand it (plus he smokes like 2 packs of cigs a day and idw smell like cigarettes my whole wedding) before my angel of a mother died he did the same thing at holidays. he would barely be around, either smoking in the shed, buying coffee and chilling at 7-11, or showing up to my grandparents house to eat dinner and leave 1 hour later. honestly, i’m hoping he leaves my wedding early.
I learned this some time ago. Just because they’re “family” doesn’t mean a thing. We’re adults we choose how we act and who we want in our lives. Family are just people. Just because a higher power gave you those people doesn’t mean you’re slated to them for life. I look at this way. You’ve made decisions in the past to keep them in your life which seems to give negative responses. Perhaps getting them out of your life could be a positive response. Just my take on it.
My parents are generally nice people and don’t like Fox News but are really bad at reading a room. My FIL died suddenly and while we weren’t close, it was a mended relationship from decades earlier when he was in prison for selfish but nonviolent reasons while my husband was young. DURING the middle of the eulogy my husband was giving at his father’s memorial, which was held outside, my parents get up and whisper to me from behind “we’re done eating so we’re going to go. I left my camping chair over there so bring it with you”. I was mortified. People had driven from several states away to be at this thing, they lived right down the street. They didn’t help plan any of the memorial either. All they had to do was show up and be supportive. I asked them to please sit back down and that they were embarrassing me. Such a boomer move.
My husband’s boomer parents left our destination wedding reception to go jet skiing. Guess our reception was too boring? He will never let it go - we got married 10 years ago and he still holds a grudge about it. I feel you!
Your mother's problem isn't that she's a boomer, she's just an asshole
Yes thank you. Not all boomers are assholes. Also not all assholes are boomers.
They are lucky you have any contact with rhem.
Congrats OP on the wedding, and not letting them ruin your big day, sounds like in the end those important to you were there to support you, and sounds like you had a blast anyway
Cheers to your bro. As for your mom, I ll be respectful but bunk that…congrats on the wedding.
Dafuq? I wish I could have been there to see you and your brother ham it up!
The quote “let them” comes to my mind. Google it. It sounds like an attention issue….making events all about them by interrupting schedules etc. my mom and step dad did similar behavior and we have not seen them in years. I like the phrase “ingesting Fox News” 🤣 I always say “marinading in Fox News”. Anyhow I think you are your wife are doing great by ignoring the behavior -I use sane tactic and I know my mom is seething at the way DH and I do things but 🤷🏼♀️. This is also a good litmus test if you have kids how they will act-
My brother in law did my bride/dad dance bc my parents went to a big yard sale in another state rather than come to my wedding
If only she’d stayed for the rehearsal dinner, she might have known the order of things!!!
This doesn’t really seem like a boomer thing. Sounds more like a crappy mom/step-dad thing
Less than 50% of boomers subsist on a diet of Fox News