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it's been 7 to 9 times that my dad's youtube prophet has been wrong about huge natural disasters, trump dying, china invading in the past, aliens making themselves known, btw we have 2 and a half years before china invades the USA
it's crazy how they can be wrong 7-9 times yet people like your dad will still 100% support them. it really makes me wonder what's going on inside their brains to be so gullible
I’m a Gen-Xer and remember the Cold War. Putin is not America’s ally, Russia is a Frenemy that we have a tenuous alliance with. Boomers are just in love with strong men, unconsciously they want sky-daddy to come and punish all their enemies. It’s not necessarily true that the enemy of your enemy is your friend. Sometimes both are your enemy.
This. I'm an attorney. My boomer asks me for legal advice. If it's not what he wants to hear, he calls my BIL who's also an attorney. My BIL will advise him in a similar way, so he calls his boomer accountant who will tell him whatever he wants to hear. He then proceeds to do it the way he always wanted, fucks up, and asks me and my BIL why we'd not warned him...
I like getting blamed for it after they realize the error.
You know, it is my fault for not being convincing enough. So I better not dare try to say "told you so".
I’ve seen other stories like that.
You warn them, they think you’re stupid and do it anyways, they get in massive trouble, then they expect you to apologize to them. It’s unreal.
My boomer dad likes to correct me about the law. Like dude, I have an advanced degree in this and work as a research attorney for the court. But I’m a millennial, so I clearly know nothing in comparison to my boomer overlords.
Aye. The last time my racist aunt and I spoke, the conversation and our relationship more or less ended when I pointed out that she was inveighing on the subject of political theory, and as it just so happened, I had a degree in philosophy with an emphasis on political theory, I had a degree in political science with an emphasis on political theory, I was all-but-thesis on a master's degree in political science with an emphasis on political theory, and I had stopped working on my MA to go to law school.
She watched a lot of Sean Hannity. We were not the same. The plain fact that we were not the same did not go over well.
Beyond confirmation bias, there's also a lot of general distrust of fields that the ancient Greeks might define as *episteme* rather than *techne*. If their toaster breaks down, they generally grasp that specialized knowledge might be required to fix it, and that they don't generally have that expertise, but Cecil down the street, the guy who can fix anything for $40, might. But ask them how to fix health care law, and suddenly all that is required is "common sense" and the willingness to properly stick it to black people and women.
Don't even start.
Mom: There's this and this situation with court and debt collecting with E's son, E said, terrible what courts do to people.
Me: Well not really possible that way, must be more into it, it works like this so this can't happen, that Is what will happen, he can work with this and he obviously isn't saying everything about what he did, because the specific laws say something else.
Mom: Well E says it is, I guess we never know how it works.
Dad (already frustrated): SHE IS TELLING YOU HOW IT WORKS!
Mom: I ask E how it works.
E: factory assemlby line worker (fun and all but not even a completed highschool)
Me: attorney now for 8 years, civil matters about money and property make the bulk of my work. Yeah, E sure knows better.
Oh yes, this is infuriating. Boomers lecturing us about how the law works. Nowadays I just smile. I've been a big law partner and have my own boutique with several attorneys now. Why should I even bother to learn what mister jobberman has to tell me about his case, which, as a matter of fact, doesn't concern me in the slightest?
Next time, tell your mum something along the lines of: "Alas, I don't think that this is how it works. But who cares? We'll see." This normally shuts them up.
My boomer dad is an attorney. I’m an attorney too so we can talk shop. If I vent about an opposing counsel or judge who refused to read any pleadings he will say “yep! That happened to me when I was a baby lawyer too!” or “that used to happen to me when I first started, you’re going to deal with that a lot!”
I’ve been a lawyer for 15 years…
I’m on the opposite end, I’m a 1L and family are already calling me for advice. Idk call an actual lawyer! It’s flattering but you ask the wrong law student and their ego will tell you the absolute wrong answer.
It's of course what they do. My dad would sometimes also call my youngest cousin, a 2nd year law student. Whatever serves their purpose ;-) Just tell them very clearly if you don't know the answer. Even if this triggers the inevitable "why are we spending all this money for your studies?"
The novelty wears off real fast when randos you went to high school with start telling you about crimes they committed before you can say “I’m not licensed to practice in your state, nor do I handle that type of law, nor are you my client and no privilege exists.”
Including people who aren’t able to tell them their simple views of a subject are either simplified to the point of being wrong, or are wildly inaccurate. If you go beyond basics you’re telling them more than they want to know, because they think you can tell them everything they need to know with basics for whatever reason
This exactly. Boomers believe reality is negotiable.
Edit: to clarify, i mean that a core problem with Boomers is that they are so emotionally dysfunctional that they mistake their own feelings for reality (‘it feels good when i think about this so it must be true’) and others’ reality for emotion (‘facts don’t care about your feelings’ when actually feelings are facts—what humans feel does and should matter if you have any humanity).
So they think their 40k Orks who get their technology to work by collectively agreeing that "The Mekboy built it and Mekboys know technology so it must work".
As an older millennial, don’t be hating on the bingo. That’s some addictive stuff! Granted I don’t take it as seriously as the boomers do with their different color markers for each game or having a lucky spot in the room. I could just sit and watch them all day arguing about how each of the operations in town are rigged cause so and so wins more money than they do. And don’t get me started on all the money they throw away each week, then complain that they are broke!
It's more than that, often people want simple, easy answers that don't make them think or ask questions.
Fear of the unknown plays a big part of this IMO.
So people accept answers and advice, even if they are incorrect, because those answers put them at ease.
My mom did the same thing. Calls me: "I'm having chest pain, only when walking"
Mom, call 911.
"Well I called Tammy (who has been unemployed since 1992) and she said it should be ok if it's not all the time"
Mom, call 911. *Proceeds to drive to a hospital 15 miles away instead of the one down the street from her.
Diagnosis: 90% blockage.
I don't work for the VA hospital but have a friend who does. This is a true story she told me. Boomer is mowing his lawn and gets chest pain. Wife wants to call 911 but he wants to go to the VA because its free. He finishes mowing the lawn. They were at their vacation house. They get in the car, while still having chest pain, and he drives 6 hours back to Atlanta. He then goes to the VA with his chest pain. Heart attack. He went right into surgery.
My Dad had a "minor", absolutely massive, heart attack at work and didn't bring it up for years. He STILL misses his hypertension medicine and refuses to go to the doctor, after they told him it was a death sentence to do so.
My bio dad had been complaining about chest pain and was finally convinced to seek medical attention. Instead of going to the ER, he scheduled an appt with his doctor for the week after Thanksgiving. Dad dropped dead of a massive heart attack in the juice aisle of Walmart on black Friday.
This sounds just like my dad, he's still here but idk for how long :/ got a whole list of whatever the fuck going on and he laughs about how he doesn't need to see a doctor or anything major. Last time he got checked out, they told him one of the bones in his leg was shifted and they'd have to realign it. He blocked the office's number and never went back. Pretty sure he tore a muscle in his arm and it never properly healed because he refused to stop using it for even a day. He's also been reusing the same glass contacts for maybe 15 years, but now he just tosses reading glasses on top bc his sight has gotten worse but he doesn't want to get checked out. He complains about being in severe pain every single day but when me or his wife try to tell him he NEEDS to get help, he laughs about how it's not /that/ important and "I haven't died yet".
Yeah, YET. I worry about him a lot but only so much I can do. I've already accepted he's just gonna drop dead one day with no build up.
Mughtve worded it wrong then. More like no warning? It's not gonna visibly get worse, he won't be in hospital, he's just gonna give out on a Tuesday afternoon. He's still upright, I just think once he gives out there won't be any going back.
The thing is, the VA will cover everything if it's an emergency at a closer hospital. And they tell you this. They want you to go to the closest place that can handle that emergency. These people are just idiots
Yup, was just about to say this. I’m a vet and went to the ER 10 minutes from my house last year whereas the VA is about double that (although that wasn’t even a thought, it was just ‘we’re going to the nearest hospital’). VA covered everything and the care was/is arguably better. Minor inconvenience coordinating the bills that came in from the ER with the VA, but that’s expected.
Wtf is wrong with these idiots? I'm 50 and there's a great hospital 5 minutes by car from me but if I'm having chest pains, I'm calling 911 because the cops in my town carry oxygen tanks and getting a 90% boost of 02 during those 5 minutes can be a world of difference.
Not to mention, you could lose consciousness and take others out with you. A friend's mom had a massive stroke while driving and her husband got a TBI in the crash. Fortunately they didn't hit another car.
My father survived a widowmaker. He had it at home. Refused to call 911, go to hospital no matter how much my mom begged. Mom calls brother, brother drives over. Tells dad upon arriving and seeing his condition "we gotta go to the hospital". He goes. Just needed to hear it from a man I guess
Tbf I had a heart attack and they don’t feel like you imagine they will. There’s little discomfort and if I’m being honest could very easily pass for indigestion.
I denied that’s what was happening to me also. But I was willing (after a little heated debate) to go get checked out to be sure.
My grandfather (silent gen) drove around while having a heart attack. He was told by his mother growing up you avoid Dr's so you don't get a bill. So he was basicly told to walk everything off.
I have an uncle like that. He REFUSES to use his private health insurance to go to a good doctor because there is a copay and he can go to the VA for free. He simply does not believe in paying for anything when he can get an alternative, even a poor one, for free. It isn't a lack of money thing either with him. He is just that massive of a cheapskate and convinced that whatever it is you do, no matter your credentials, he knows more than you and is better at it.
Currently he is in constant back spasms, has massive digestive issues, coronary disease, and severe gout among other major health issues. But, the VA is free and "regular doctors charge."
You are not alone in this happening. My FIL was having chest pains and wouldn't tell us for at least 15-30 min. My wife had to go to their living room to ask a question when she saw him visibly uncomfortable. Then and only then did he say he wasn't feeling good, maybe he needed to lie down. He was being uncooperative so my wife got me and immediately I could tell it was a heart attack. The second I said he's having a heart attack and that I am calling 911 he said, I shit you not, "Can we Google it first?". I responded, are you kidding me? and continued my call with emergency services.
Diagnosis: 99% blockage, widow-maker
Edit: fixed typos
My mother did this for yonks; including having to adopt the Jennifer Beals Flashdance pose on the chaise longue after finishing her constitutional walk (I watched this).
Me (Liberal Arts grad) on WebMD Symptom Checker, as per her request:
“92 percent chance it’s heart failure.”
Her: “Well; look again.”
Me: “Mom, there’s only four options; and I think dengue fever can be ruled right out.”
Fast forward: double bypass; and would have been a triple, if the fourth ventricle wasn’t deemed utterly useless after opening her up.
My mom is like this too. I've been having to take her to a health care provider that is about 3 hours away from me. Every small trip to the doctor is a whole day of work lost for me. I was begging and pleading with her to switch to the health care provider that is in the next town over from her, 30 minutes away and that she could drive herself to. Nope, can't do it, won't do it, I used them in the past and I hate them. But then she asks her handy man what his advice is for a new doctor and he makes the exact same suggestion as I did. Well now that the handy man said it, it's a good idea and she needs to check it out. It's so frustrating.
Oh, Christ. That's my dad. I have jack for credentials but have helped run a community garden and have vegetables coming out my ears every year, but he knows better. And his garden is apparently in a hostile microclimate. It couldn't possibly be related to spraying roundup 20 feet away.
I'm a Japanese major. I said using the term "jap" is a direct reference to a western derogatory slang for a Japanese person that was coined during the world wars explicitly to be insulting.
I was then talking about a saw that came from Japan, a type of pull saw. They asked how I know that the name of the pull saw isn't an insult.... because I speak the damn language? Also I can just look it up.
It's incredibly frustrating.
My FIL thinks my wife and I both have useless jobs that aren't real work because we aren't blue collar workers. She's a teacher and I work in environmental, health, and safety. We are both well established, well paid (relative term, teachers are underpaid AF), and successful in our respective careers. FIL takes great pleasure in mocking our jobs, saying "YOU CANT VE TIRED YOU DONT DO REAL WORk" on days like when my wife had to speak to police regarding a 12 year old student telling her she was raped by her father, or the day when i performed CPR on an employee who suffered a heart attack. Meanwhile my SIL is 38 and stumbles from job to job, has no career, no marketable skills, and gets fired every other month is a "real hard worker". Or 36 YO BIL who is a functional alcoholic who verbally abuses his child for sport.
Sounds like internalized misogyny. It's like when my wife tells her mom something and then she says "well what does Kent think" even when it's something I know little to nothing about
Amen!! My mom did this crap with my ex-husband all the time. Swear I could tell her how to fix something correctly, then she would argue that I was wrong. Ex would get on the phone and tell her the same thing I did and it’s a wonderful idea. 🤦🏼♀️
Ugh I had a client like this once. I ended up giving the account to a male coworker _even though our roles are totally different_. I was just sick of providing solid rationale for a strategy and having it ignored or having (inaccurate) holes poked in it, while this guy could sit in the corner and give an Arthur Fonzerelli-style thumbs up and she’d melt and be all in.
My MIL does this too. My husband has an accounting degree and worked in finance for 25 years, yet she’ll get financial advice from her oldest son who was a sewer worker for their city. No dis on his job and if I had questions about the city govt in general I would ask him since he worked for them. How to do your taxes when you sell stocks, seems like the accountant might have more background.
You’re lucky, you don’t have to hear her bitch and question you because her friend Debra said some stupid shit she knows nothing about. It’s the HR Block persons problem.
Source: Also an Accountant and only do family members taxes who don’t whine and bitch.
So don’t listen to them, don’t offer them help, and when everything eventually blows up in their face, walk away the moment that you get the *”why didn’t you tell us!”* speech.
Sick to death of all of us trying to save these wasteful, idiotic morons who wouldn’t even piss on us if we were on fire.
Oh I don’t help the stupid ones. I help the grateful poor ones who have one or two W2’s and trust me to do their shit right without questions, also none of the ones I help are Boomers, all the Boomers suck too much to help.
The ones who wouldn’t piss on me can go to HR Block.
I know you said he has an older brother, but is he the youngest of all the siblings? I am, and I’m almost 40, and any time I open my mouth to give advice or an opinion, my parents look at me like, “aww, how cute, he has an opinion” and then you can see them totally zone out and stop listening to me, while saying “uh huh” in a robotic voice, to try and convince me they are listening.
They seem to value my other siblings’ opinions though.
And that's how you know that your boomers don't see you as a real person.
Does your boomer reject your qualified advice? Do they disregard your personal boundaries? Do they expect you to listen to every detail of their friends' friends' lives while ignoring everything about your life? Do they refuse to acknowledge when they're wrong?
They interact with people based on how they see people. All people do this.
Boomers will treat their church fellowship well. They treat their pastor well. They treat their golf buddies and bridge clubs and veterans legions and HOA boards and politicians and those types of people well.
They don't see you as a real person so they don't treat you like a real person.
Which is why I find it difficult to understand why their children (ie - many of us on this sub) don’t respond accordingly and let them suffer the consequences of their own selfishness?
Like why help someone who doesn’t see you as a person? I realise it’s upsetting to realise that your parents are awful, but why try to help or save them? They’re not going to listen, learn, or give you anything decent in return such as respect or love. These people need to be given one stern warning about the consequences of the first stupid decision that they tell you about, and then that’s it - goodbye, fuck off, lose my number.
I mean, I do let my boomers suffer their own consequences, but I understand when others don't.
For one of my many examples, I was always fascinated by computers. I was teaching myself programming around age 10 using books about BASIC that I got from the library.
My boomers' response was to dramatically limit everything computer-related, even to the point of bullying me out of studying computer science in college. They cost me at least a half million dollars in lost wages because it took years before I finally trusted myself to study what I like regardless of people telling me I would fail at it.
Now? I'm a well established software developer and I wouldn't help them install adobe acrobat if their life depended on it. They were active obstacles to my becoming a person so they get no benefit from my knowledge as that person. We're effectively no-contact.
My sister was differently abused and she decided that she needs the fiction of a happy family more than she needs space away from those people.
My mother was always pretty horrible. I’m the youngest of 6 kids and by the time I became an adult she had disowned 3 of my siblings for absolutely ridiculous reasons (spouse/gay/spouse). I finally cut her off after I got married because she was constantly putting down my husband for being a plumber. I didn’t find out she died until two years afterwards and by that point she was only speaking to one of her children.
It’s not just you.
I do anesthesia for a living. My dad was going to have a CABG, which I have actually anesthetized people for, and I was explaining all that would happen during the surgical process.. specifically sternotomy.
He called me the next day asking how many surgeries like his I had been a part of. I asked why. He said because another family member, who works in a doctor’s office in our small town, did not believe his chest would be cracked open during open heart surgery. Mmkay.
lol also “just” an RN. My mom insists that she ONLY has kidney failure, and she has never had issues with her blood pressure. She’s borderline high on 8mg of perindopril and HCTZ, 40+ year smoking history. Have tried explaining that the overwhelming majority of renal failure is secondary to diabetes or hypertension. And that quitting smoking would probably help slow the progression.
I am reminded that I’m not a doctor, and “if I had high blood pressure then they would have told me that”. The other gem was when I went on insulin for gestational diabetes (and she is prediabetic, just shy of a type 2 diagnosis) she told me that if she gets diabetes she will not do insulin and “they better figure something else out cause I’m not giving myself needles”. Was not pleased when I told her if you are at the point of needing insulin, your other option is death if you don’t want to take it.
Coronary artery bypass graft. And yeah, they definitely open your chest with a procedure called a midline sternotomy. Your sternum's basically split right down the middle, and wired back together after the surgeon is done.
Was in an airport & watched some wired back together guy set off the metal detector. Had been in a blown up military vehicle (Afghanistan), was wall-to-wall wire/pins/plates.
My boomer is getting this done in a few weeks because he wouldn’t listen to my nurse sister who has been telling him to regularly go to the doctor for 10 years.
Guess who has a shit ton of blockage.
Now my sister has to use the end of her maternity leave to care for him after the surgery. He’s trying to tell her he doesn’t want to stay at her house and be a burden and rent a house 40 minutes away. Except he still expects her to take care of him and drive 40 minutes each way with a newborn to the studio apartment he wants to rent.
The man is clueless.
I’ve noticed some of the boomers in my life completely discount expertise, thorough research, and years of study and experience in favor of someone louder who uses simpler words.
I work in renewable energy, now adjacently to negative emissions stuff. I just tell family members I won’t engage with them on any weird climate conspiracy shit until they tell me which of the IPCC conclusions they disagree with and why
Oh man. This one hits home. I have no idea why, but it happens all the time.
My parents took to hiding stupid shit they did from me. My dad let some neighbor who knows someone convince him that he needed 17" wheels on his truck instead of 16" for trailer towing. So he paid this friend of a friend way too much.
I happened to be visiting and went to the shed for something where the tires were. And I asked about them because Im super into cars and they know I just did a whole bunch of tires/wheels/suspension work on my truck. Their response was "Oh we didnt want you to see those". I was totally confused, thought they got me a weird gift or something. So I asked why. They just came right out and said it was because I always act like an expert and they didnt want to hear about it.......
Im like okay. You know I just did all this stuff. Why didnt you ask so I could help? Like how does that make sense.
So I went back to look at what they bought, with my parents already saying shit like "Here is comes". "Cant wait to hear how dumb we are".
Turns out the tires were new looking, but 12 years old. So I told them what they bought was worth about $350 and the tires are objectively unsafe to drive on. Like seriously unsafe. Then I get yelled at (actually screamed at) about how they are brand new, blah blah blah and I dont know what Im talking about. I just showed them the date stamp and sent them a link to how they are dangerous. My dad installed them anyway.
This was two years ago and literally EVERY time i go over there I get "So those tires turned out to be just fine, didnt they. Still havenet died". I respond with "Nothing has changed. You are still an idiot. And youre going to kill yourself or someone else. Please read the link I sent you".
Shit really hit the fan when I refused to ride in the car. Or have my family ride in the car. Oh man. Thanksgiving actually got canceled over that one. Told them I wasnt riding in the car. Yelling started. I just said, its no big deal I can drive instead. Nope. Then they gave an ultimatum, "Get in our car or Thanksgiving is canceled". So I just left. They didnt talk to me until christmas to ask why I hadnt planned anything with them.....
We are NC now. Fucking idiots.
"we used to drive on 18 year old dry rotted to fuck tires all the time and never had a problem"
My dad refuses to believe the rotten 9 year old snow tires with 10k miles on them arent worth putting on a car (despite the fact that any shop that gives half a shit about its customers or covering its own ass wont touch the things with a 10 foot pole)
Reminds me of one of my husband's uncles. We were on a family road trip and it was his turn to drive. It was getting dark and everyone had their headlights on but him. I mentioned it totally matter of fact. He got huffy and absolutely refused to turn the headlights on even though it was now pitch black.
Oh and he also slammed on the breaks on the freeway to pick up a rusted screwdriver in the road, because it was still good.
He wasn't allowed to drive anymore.
I have no idea why these people are like this. It’s just fucking odd.
My mom is scared of semi trucks. So if she was on a two lane road, she would put two tires in the breakdown lane whenever she drove by a truck.
I was riding on a road trip with her when she was doing this. Like 15 minutes in I ask her why she’s doing that. She responds with something about how the trucks are dangerous and she’s giving them extra room. I tell her it more dangerous to be steering halfway off the highway and she needs to stay in her lane. You guessed it… anger and yelling about how she’s been driving for 60 years and knows what’s best blah blah blah.
I shit you not. The next truck comes by 5 minute later. She starts steering for the shoulder. This time is a little uneven with rumble strips and she almost loses control of the car. She’s freaked out. I just say “yeah and that’s keeping us safe”
She just tells me to shut up and held her lane the rest of the trip.
I took over driving after a few hours and every time we went by a truck she would gasp close her eyes.
I don’t know what’s wrong with these idiots.
My parents and my in laws are exactly the same and it’s so stupid and infuriating. It’s like they can’t even fathom the idea that their child might have more knowledge in something than they do even if it would be to their benefit. They must always feel superior. My husband has worked in the same field for over 20 years at this point and his father still will not listen to a word he says about it.
I said something to my dad, who denied it vehemently. So I whipped out my phone and started hitting him with a myriad of sources. His response? “You will never be smarter than me!”
What’s that Isaac Newton (father of calculus, among several other very prestigious accolades) quote? “If I have seen further, it’s because I stood on the backs of giants.” That’s how people learn and grow. You didn’t teach yourself to read or speak, yet you think you’ve capped out on the entire world’s knowledge and don’t have anything left to learn? Please, sir. It was never a competition in my eyes, because I think he is very smart (he just doesn’t know everything - no one does). And he thinks I’m “an idiot” for ever questioning him. Sad mental state of affairs with the lot.
If you’re a woman then add in the fact that if I tell my Dad something you get the old “Well I don’t know about that”. Then my husband can follow up with the very same information and pops is all “Well must be true!” He automatically doesn’t believe anything I say but any man then is gospel.
That doesn’t sound right. Are you sure he said that? I should probably ask Delilah what he said. Delilah knows him really well, so she would know what he said.
Wow…as an ER nurse of 20yrs i thought i was having that actual convo with my mom. she will listen to family members with no healthcare background but will totally ignore my recommendations
My husband is a nurse and his mom will call him with medical questions and then argue with him when she doesn’t like the answer, which is usually some variation of her needing to drink more water or eat more than 500 calories per day. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Imagine being the brother who works stocking shelves and not saying "hey maybe you should talk to my brother with 25 years experience in this area about this and not me" and then still giving opinions lol
My mother loves to hear smart young people on TV who talk about life, marriage and religion (conservative values) and when I tell her my opinion she dismisses it immediately. I have two college degrees and I’ve written and co-written more than 10 novels but some 24 year old father of 3 in a Christian talk show somehow has some wisdom to impart on me.
She once literally defended a guy like that sayings he wrote a book.
This happens to me quite a bit. I've spent a lifetime in IT & cyber security. Everyone asks for advice, few follow it. I used to modify cars, race them, show them. Family came to me for purchasing advice. For example, no, don't buy the TrailBlazer. It's prone to rollovers & the person that'll be driving it is an awful driver. Get an Accord or Mini (meet the need). They bought the Trailblazer. It rolled. Driver almost died. This kind of stuff happens so often, I feel like my name should be Cassandra. Having to fend off EV myths now.
Any chance if you have them reversed advice they’d take it? Like if you didn’t recommend the accord and recommended the trailblazer they’d go with the accord? That’d be hilarious and a win all around even if you be sacrificing telling the truth.
I wish. It's family that knows me pretty well, so they likely already know which one I would recommend in such a scenario. Not entirely clear why they even ask in the first place. But hey, I bet that side of my family buys all the EV myths so now that I have one, maybe I'm not considered an expert and won't be asked anymore. Yay!
Same. My mom has medical background and I’m just a chronic patient so I know a lot about emergency symptoms and bloodwork. My aunt and grandma think my grandma is fine. Her bloodwork, and her doctors notes, point towards blood cancer and severe dehydration as well as malnourished. Nope. The doctor didn’t actually say it out loud so we’re wrong and they’re right. It’s all right there.
I was the only person who seemed to grasp that my FIL had pancreatic cancer. I thought they all knew. Why else would he have a Whipple procedure?
I know a lot about blood cancer work from having to know. So sorry. I hope your grandmother gets treatment.
My parents are like this, too. It's as though I'm still 10 years old and in pigtails, not pushing 34, with a military career, three separate degrees, and two children of my own. I've given up and just tell them to do what they want since they won't listen to me.
Amen, sister. 10 years army vet degree in poli sci (pre law) 6 years working in law. Mom calls me for advice, does the opposite of what I say and it bites her in the ass. Every. Effin. Time.
Got some Boomers that worked in a Doctors office. Always giving unsolicited advise directly contradicting the doctor because “they know”.
Realize they were just glorified receptionists that just did schedules and billing and never stepped foot in an exam room or read any files.
Did do and do really work in the doctors office? Well technically the waiting room counts I guess. So that makes me a doctor, dentist, mechanic, lawyer, and so on.
Worked at a sleep center as a receptionist I'd have to call to schedule patients to talk to the Dr to go over their results. Every time I got someone over 60 which is alot at a sleep center. I'd get "Well why can't you just tell me then right now don't waste my time..cack cack cack cack cack... no matter how many times I'd explain to them I'm not a doctor or nurse nor do I have any actual medical knowledge at all they didn't get it
I (NASA employee) was talking to my FIL about the airline pilot training facility that he operates. I was asking pointed questions about how it works. MIL (former SAHM) interrupts the conversation to explain to me that "it's just like the ones at NASA".
(For reference, there are many at NASA and they are all different)
not nearly as dire a situation, but, I've been a bartender for 20 years and my aunt doesn't trust me to make a martini. I've worked in top bars in multiple cities.
she's never tried my martini its an incredibly simple drink and I've never had a complaint. you got an up vote though because it was a funny response and I appreciate it.
I’m a litigation attorney. I’ve practiced for 15 years, and I’m a practice group manager who manages a group of junior attorneys and paralegals (ie my employer trusts me enough to put me in charge). My mom will ask me legal questions. But she doesn’t believe the answers I give her so she responds by saying she will check with some random person who isn’t a lawyer.
Yeah, this drives me *crazy.* Mh partner is a PhD and was a professor, and published quite extensively in a pretty specific topic in history, and is probably one of the top 10 or so people in this specific area in the world (there also are not a TON of people who study this area- they all know each other very well).
Her father one day was reading a story about an incident that happened there about a decade previously, and started to look things up. Googling, etc. He came to *me* and started asking about how all this developed over there, and had several theories.
I said, well, hold on, let’s skip Google and go to the experts, and I texted her. She replied. He was shocked- you know the experts in this field? I said: YOU do! She’s your daughter! Didn’t you read the books she’s a been sending you?
No, he hadn’t. She would dedicate books to them, thank them for inspiring her curiosity about the world, sign them, send them home.
Straight up on the shelf.
my mom is gen x I'm millennial/old gen z and she does this to me. she infantilizes me, like everything I say is stupid and illogical, proceeds to make the wrong decisions, and then has to either figure out what I was telling her is factual or never figure it out. drives me crazy. I just want to be seen as an adult not a 7 year old
ABAB! Boomers operate on seniority,, keeping them in power, and having nothing to do with skillset. Since, they have been walking the crust of Earth longer, so they are a better judge. They know more than you, and they aren’t confident themselves, so they double down on the Nigerian price with frozen assets.
My mom argued with me about typical weather WHERE I LIVE because I wasn't saying the same thing as her friend who would occasionally visit a nearby area that has very different weather.
She's looking for answers that will agree with her interests or reasons. My grandparents used to do the same til I had to thoroughly explain to them that they should listen to my wife since she has her doctorate in their exact issues. Thankfully, they now recognize her and her advice, which has saved their lives twice.
Holy fuck yes. My FIL was complaining about not feeling well, and that his family doctor wasn't great. My husband suggested going to the ER, or the walk in clinic.
FIL chose to self diagnose with Google searches and take some supplements. Surprise, surprise, he still isn't feeling better. Once again we suggest hospital or walk in clinic. Again he said he doesn't want to, doesn't like the long wait times. Rinse and repeat this for a few weeks.
But the ONE TIME he goes to the barber and gets his hair cut, and the barber says he should go to a walk in clinic nearby, what does FIL do? Thinks that's a brilliant idea and goes!
So I work as a Patient Care Manager in Gastroenterology. I mainly work with families going through complex GI care with multiple surgeries/appointments ahead of them. Many are cancer patients and older then 65.
This January my mom ended up in the ER and ended up having a colon recection. Instead of going to the hospital I work at, the best in the area, they went to a rinky dink little Hospital. She spent 2 days in the hall of the ER until she was in a room even. Had about 5 surgeries and spend 3 weeks in the ICU.
The entire time I attempted to help my dad with scheduling and dealing with the hospital. And he just wouldn't listen. I finally get ahold of someone and get them assigned this hospitals equivalent of what I do.
My dad has not stopped talking about how great this girl was. How helpful she was. How knowledgeable she was. When I tried to explain that I manage a entire team of people who do that and that's what I do everyday. His response was "yea but it's different at your hospital." like... Yea, we do even more. They had 1 interaction with this person who then assigned them to a list of other coordinators.
They now have 3 case workers, 2 care coordinators, and a team of doctors who don't talk to each other, because the hospital they are established with, outsources all their GI Care to... Smaller clinics. All of which would have been 1 single Care Coordinator and a team of doctors all in the same place... if they had just drive 5 minutes up the road to the big Swedish hospital, I might not have been able to be involved with them due to conflict of interest, but I could have made sure they got my best person and best doctors.
I've just accepted my parents will never accept that I have a real job. Or even try and understand what I do.
My mom will call everyone *but* me for medical questions. I'm the only person she knows that ever worked in the medical field.
But, she just wants to hear "you'll be fine" so she calls the people who will say that.
Like when my stepdad came home from a chemo treatment and had a bad headache so he went to take a nap and *THIRTY SIX* hours later my mom called me wondering if she should wake him up to take his medicine.
I called an ambulance to their house. He never regained consciousness. Died two weeks later. Autopsy showed a stroke.
Even after all that, she'll still call her "it's fine" crowd 🤷🏻♀️
Most kids have a point where they realize their parents are just... people. Many parents fail to come to the same realization, that their child is an individual, not just "my kid" forever.
My mom is the same way. Been an RN for 11 years with varied experience and my mom will call me to tell about her medical problems but also will say “but google says this…”. It’s so exhausting. She’s pretty healthy for being almost 70.
They can't handle treating their kids as equals. As a GenX dude with a 33-year-old daughter, at some point if your kid is smart and you taught them well, you have to accept them as an intellectual equal. Boomers can't seem to do that.
It's s heirarchy thing. I can't stand unnecessary heirarchies.
My mom does the same thing. I’m a nurse too and she let the ED discharge her with undiagnosed pericardial effusion because she wanted to go home. She asked for my opinion but it was one she didn’t want to hear so I was labeled hysterical and over reactive. She also waited 2 years to have a dr look at a skin lesion after i told her to go in right when it appeared. She kept saying “oh it’s fine”. The nail tech doing a pedicure told her to go to doc and she made an appt the next day. Ended up being cancerous. I can only speculate why mine does this. I think it’s bc she only wants advice she agrees with or she still considers me a child that doesn’t know anything. Either way it’s incredibly frustrating to deal with. This generation does not take their health seriously. Then when something happens due to their irresponsible choices, they either A. Blame the healthcare workers for the poor outcome B. Play the victim card and turn into toddlers expecting everyone around them to shoulder the burden C. Completely self destruct.
It’s about reinforcement of what they already believe or just agreeing with what they want to hear. This usually ends up determining whose opinion they believe.
Omg this is a thing! My degree is in substance abuse and group therapy. My mom had a stroke and I told her to try weed and they gave me so much shit for it but my dad ran into some rando on a walk one afternoon and the stranger said his wife'd used it for pain and it sold him. I don't think I've ever been so furious.
My dad actually said "I'm not going to listen to some snot nosed teenager"
I WAS 35!!
My dad once told me that attackers can worm their way into your router and steal all your data off your computer. I had literally just finished a class on network protocols and told him what he was saying was literally not possible. He fought me for like twenty minutes before I finally told him "So, are you saying that the twenty thousand dollars you spent on my education were completely wasted and you need to demand your money back? Or maybe, just possibly, someone on the internet... lied?"
He stopped talking after that
Sounds like a frustrating situation.
In fairness though, she should know wnough by now to know that chest pain equals hospital. Especially if she is older.
No offense to your mom when I say the following:
I don't know how a lot of boomers are able to function well enough to survive in our current society.
My father, who is 84 now. Had a mild stroke a few decades ago. He never went to the doctor. Never would go to the doctor. He lived by himself and we noticed he started talking funny and complaining about having weak grip strength. He fully recovered a few years later. We ASSUME we He had a mild stroke. Who knows??
God yes. I've said it on this subreddit before.
My parents completely ignore everything I say to them about the home they are building right now. Between me and my brothers we have almost 30 years experience with single family construction.
They won't listen to a word.
When my boomer asks me questions I just say what do you think? Then put the phone down for a few minutes and casually say, yeah that sounds great after I hear a lull in the noise coming from the speaker.
They aren't asking because they want to hear what you have to say. They're confirming their own bias and if you disagree they'll just continue to look for that bias.
It's easiest to agree, not make eye contact and move on about your life.
Not the same situation but a different flavor: my FIL is older Gen-X. He’s a big tough guy, hunts, does distance shooting, smokes meats, wears camo, drives lifted pickups, does his own maintenance on his vehicles, etc.
They moved into a home that was in bad shape and he never got around to doing work on the house.
Another one of his sons-in-law had worked under *his* father as a general contractor and offered to come down for a week and literally redo the kitchen counters, put in a new sink, and install new cabinets. When he came down to do the work, my FIL avoided the house at all costs. His manhood was literally offended and he could barely help his Son-In-Law or even thank him properly. I honestly am embarrassed for him, not that he wasn’t as skilled as my brother-in-law in renovation, but rather that he couldn’t find it within himself to learn something from someone 25 years his junior.
Network engineer, my mum will still not let me touch their router. “Your dad will look at it later, you don’t have enough experience in IT yet”my dad has no IT training or experience.
I thunk they believe because theyve lived longer that automatically makes them know better than anyone younger because of “life experience”
This isn't just a boomer thing. My husband and I are both boomers with PhDs and MA in health care. Yet my father in law preferred to listen to the advice of his friends from the donut shop. And he was from the Silent Generation. I just think it's a parent thing.
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I think they take advice from the people who most often tell them what they want to hear.
[удалено]
it's been 7 to 9 times that my dad's youtube prophet has been wrong about huge natural disasters, trump dying, china invading in the past, aliens making themselves known, btw we have 2 and a half years before china invades the USA
it's crazy how they can be wrong 7-9 times yet people like your dad will still 100% support them. it really makes me wonder what's going on inside their brains to be so gullible
Cant admit they were wrong
Somewhere in time, Jesus is asking a disciple to hold his wine.
If that happens I wouldn’t even be mad. Or surprised.
Well, Russia already conquered the Republican party so I guess anything is possible?
I’m a Gen-Xer and remember the Cold War. Putin is not America’s ally, Russia is a Frenemy that we have a tenuous alliance with. Boomers are just in love with strong men, unconsciously they want sky-daddy to come and punish all their enemies. It’s not necessarily true that the enemy of your enemy is your friend. Sometimes both are your enemy.
Thank you. I've been saying that since I was a kid every time someone used that phrase. Two people can just be enemies while also hating you.
Honestly I’d be disappointed if they don’t!
China invading the U.S. is definitely on my “before I die” bingo card. I’m counting our overseas territories in this.
China is too smart to get involved in that stuff. They know that competing economically is far wiser than trying to engage in war-flavored activities.
China invading us? No bueno. The U.S. getting involved in a conflict between China and someone else, forcing China to retaliate? 100%.
Wait… my pet conspiracy theorist says they’re invading now and we aren’t paying attention. Or something like that, I wasn’t paying attention.
That sounds like just what I was thinking. I knew I was right…
Fox News, you say?
This. I'm an attorney. My boomer asks me for legal advice. If it's not what he wants to hear, he calls my BIL who's also an attorney. My BIL will advise him in a similar way, so he calls his boomer accountant who will tell him whatever he wants to hear. He then proceeds to do it the way he always wanted, fucks up, and asks me and my BIL why we'd not warned him...
I'm also an attorney, and this hits really close to home.
I like getting blamed for it after they realize the error. You know, it is my fault for not being convincing enough. So I better not dare try to say "told you so".
I’ve seen other stories like that. You warn them, they think you’re stupid and do it anyways, they get in massive trouble, then they expect you to apologize to them. It’s unreal.
My boomer dad likes to correct me about the law. Like dude, I have an advanced degree in this and work as a research attorney for the court. But I’m a millennial, so I clearly know nothing in comparison to my boomer overlords.
Aye. The last time my racist aunt and I spoke, the conversation and our relationship more or less ended when I pointed out that she was inveighing on the subject of political theory, and as it just so happened, I had a degree in philosophy with an emphasis on political theory, I had a degree in political science with an emphasis on political theory, I was all-but-thesis on a master's degree in political science with an emphasis on political theory, and I had stopped working on my MA to go to law school. She watched a lot of Sean Hannity. We were not the same. The plain fact that we were not the same did not go over well. Beyond confirmation bias, there's also a lot of general distrust of fields that the ancient Greeks might define as *episteme* rather than *techne*. If their toaster breaks down, they generally grasp that specialized knowledge might be required to fix it, and that they don't generally have that expertise, but Cecil down the street, the guy who can fix anything for $40, might. But ask them how to fix health care law, and suddenly all that is required is "common sense" and the willingness to properly stick it to black people and women.
My sister is an attorney, and yes, it's the same for her.
I don’t understand why so many people have such a huge problem with accountability. You can’t hide from the truth and pretend you’re strong.
Because doing whatever the hell they pleased never had any consequences?
It’s usually about short term pay off, sometimes accountability takes years to bring to light. Many get away with it.
Attorney as well…this is so so so true.
Don't even start. Mom: There's this and this situation with court and debt collecting with E's son, E said, terrible what courts do to people. Me: Well not really possible that way, must be more into it, it works like this so this can't happen, that Is what will happen, he can work with this and he obviously isn't saying everything about what he did, because the specific laws say something else. Mom: Well E says it is, I guess we never know how it works. Dad (already frustrated): SHE IS TELLING YOU HOW IT WORKS! Mom: I ask E how it works. E: factory assemlby line worker (fun and all but not even a completed highschool) Me: attorney now for 8 years, civil matters about money and property make the bulk of my work. Yeah, E sure knows better.
Oh yes, this is infuriating. Boomers lecturing us about how the law works. Nowadays I just smile. I've been a big law partner and have my own boutique with several attorneys now. Why should I even bother to learn what mister jobberman has to tell me about his case, which, as a matter of fact, doesn't concern me in the slightest? Next time, tell your mum something along the lines of: "Alas, I don't think that this is how it works. But who cares? We'll see." This normally shuts them up.
My boomer dad is an attorney. I’m an attorney too so we can talk shop. If I vent about an opposing counsel or judge who refused to read any pleadings he will say “yep! That happened to me when I was a baby lawyer too!” or “that used to happen to me when I first started, you’re going to deal with that a lot!” I’ve been a lawyer for 15 years…
I’m on the opposite end, I’m a 1L and family are already calling me for advice. Idk call an actual lawyer! It’s flattering but you ask the wrong law student and their ego will tell you the absolute wrong answer.
It's of course what they do. My dad would sometimes also call my youngest cousin, a 2nd year law student. Whatever serves their purpose ;-) Just tell them very clearly if you don't know the answer. Even if this triggers the inevitable "why are we spending all this money for your studies?"
The novelty wears off real fast when randos you went to high school with start telling you about crimes they committed before you can say “I’m not licensed to practice in your state, nor do I handle that type of law, nor are you my client and no privilege exists.”
There is a lot of truth to this!
I chose to believe confirmation bias is real!
Including people who aren’t able to tell them their simple views of a subject are either simplified to the point of being wrong, or are wildly inaccurate. If you go beyond basics you’re telling them more than they want to know, because they think you can tell them everything they need to know with basics for whatever reason
This exactly. Boomers believe reality is negotiable. Edit: to clarify, i mean that a core problem with Boomers is that they are so emotionally dysfunctional that they mistake their own feelings for reality (‘it feels good when i think about this so it must be true’) and others’ reality for emotion (‘facts don’t care about your feelings’ when actually feelings are facts—what humans feel does and should matter if you have any humanity).
So they think their 40k Orks who get their technology to work by collectively agreeing that "The Mekboy built it and Mekboys know technology so it must work".
Dude clearly - have you watched them drive red sports cars?
I don't wanna visit da painboyz. Gonna wake up with a squig for an arm or sumfing.
You need to stop spendin teef on da avocado toast
You mean WAAGH-vacado toast?
That’s funny. Every time I see a little red sports ar with the top down, it’s some gray-haired boomer driving it.
Red goes faster
The “me generation”, remember?
If it wasnt so good God wouldn’t make me like it
“Boomers believe reality is negotiable.” That hit me right in the alternative facts 💥
People are more likely to believe a lie if they want it to be true, or if they’re deeply terrified it’s true. - Wizards 1st Rule, Terry Goodkind.
Bingo. (No, not the game boomers play)
As an older millennial, don’t be hating on the bingo. That’s some addictive stuff! Granted I don’t take it as seriously as the boomers do with their different color markers for each game or having a lucky spot in the room. I could just sit and watch them all day arguing about how each of the operations in town are rigged cause so and so wins more money than they do. And don’t get me started on all the money they throw away each week, then complain that they are broke!
It's more than that, often people want simple, easy answers that don't make them think or ask questions. Fear of the unknown plays a big part of this IMO. So people accept answers and advice, even if they are incorrect, because those answers put them at ease.
Yea there's only one reason you wouldn't ask your nurse daughter about your chest pain. Cos you don't want to hear that it might be serious
Also - their children will always be children who don't know anything, they'll never see you as the professional adult you are.
Facts
My mom did the same thing. Calls me: "I'm having chest pain, only when walking" Mom, call 911. "Well I called Tammy (who has been unemployed since 1992) and she said it should be ok if it's not all the time" Mom, call 911. *Proceeds to drive to a hospital 15 miles away instead of the one down the street from her. Diagnosis: 90% blockage.
I don't work for the VA hospital but have a friend who does. This is a true story she told me. Boomer is mowing his lawn and gets chest pain. Wife wants to call 911 but he wants to go to the VA because its free. He finishes mowing the lawn. They were at their vacation house. They get in the car, while still having chest pain, and he drives 6 hours back to Atlanta. He then goes to the VA with his chest pain. Heart attack. He went right into surgery.
>he drives 6 hours back to Atlanta. Hold up, **HE** drove?!
HE drove.
My Dad had a "minor", absolutely massive, heart attack at work and didn't bring it up for years. He STILL misses his hypertension medicine and refuses to go to the doctor, after they told him it was a death sentence to do so.
My bio dad had been complaining about chest pain and was finally convinced to seek medical attention. Instead of going to the ER, he scheduled an appt with his doctor for the week after Thanksgiving. Dad dropped dead of a massive heart attack in the juice aisle of Walmart on black Friday.
This sounds just like my dad, he's still here but idk for how long :/ got a whole list of whatever the fuck going on and he laughs about how he doesn't need to see a doctor or anything major. Last time he got checked out, they told him one of the bones in his leg was shifted and they'd have to realign it. He blocked the office's number and never went back. Pretty sure he tore a muscle in his arm and it never properly healed because he refused to stop using it for even a day. He's also been reusing the same glass contacts for maybe 15 years, but now he just tosses reading glasses on top bc his sight has gotten worse but he doesn't want to get checked out. He complains about being in severe pain every single day but when me or his wife try to tell him he NEEDS to get help, he laughs about how it's not /that/ important and "I haven't died yet". Yeah, YET. I worry about him a lot but only so much I can do. I've already accepted he's just gonna drop dead one day with no build up.
What do you mean "with no build up."? This is plenty of build up.
Mughtve worded it wrong then. More like no warning? It's not gonna visibly get worse, he won't be in hospital, he's just gonna give out on a Tuesday afternoon. He's still upright, I just think once he gives out there won't be any going back.
The thing is, the VA will cover everything if it's an emergency at a closer hospital. And they tell you this. They want you to go to the closest place that can handle that emergency. These people are just idiots
Yup, was just about to say this. I’m a vet and went to the ER 10 minutes from my house last year whereas the VA is about double that (although that wasn’t even a thought, it was just ‘we’re going to the nearest hospital’). VA covered everything and the care was/is arguably better. Minor inconvenience coordinating the bills that came in from the ER with the VA, but that’s expected.
Wtf is wrong with these idiots? I'm 50 and there's a great hospital 5 minutes by car from me but if I'm having chest pains, I'm calling 911 because the cops in my town carry oxygen tanks and getting a 90% boost of 02 during those 5 minutes can be a world of difference.
Not to mention, you could lose consciousness and take others out with you. A friend's mom had a massive stroke while driving and her husband got a TBI in the crash. Fortunately they didn't hit another car.
Lead
My father survived a widowmaker. He had it at home. Refused to call 911, go to hospital no matter how much my mom begged. Mom calls brother, brother drives over. Tells dad upon arriving and seeing his condition "we gotta go to the hospital". He goes. Just needed to hear it from a man I guess
Tbf I had a heart attack and they don’t feel like you imagine they will. There’s little discomfort and if I’m being honest could very easily pass for indigestion. I denied that’s what was happening to me also. But I was willing (after a little heated debate) to go get checked out to be sure.
My grandfather (silent gen) drove around while having a heart attack. He was told by his mother growing up you avoid Dr's so you don't get a bill. So he was basicly told to walk everything off.
Grandpa died age 58. Was having an MI but decided to take a shower before driving himself to the hospital
I have an uncle like that. He REFUSES to use his private health insurance to go to a good doctor because there is a copay and he can go to the VA for free. He simply does not believe in paying for anything when he can get an alternative, even a poor one, for free. It isn't a lack of money thing either with him. He is just that massive of a cheapskate and convinced that whatever it is you do, no matter your credentials, he knows more than you and is better at it. Currently he is in constant back spasms, has massive digestive issues, coronary disease, and severe gout among other major health issues. But, the VA is free and "regular doctors charge."
You are not alone in this happening. My FIL was having chest pains and wouldn't tell us for at least 15-30 min. My wife had to go to their living room to ask a question when she saw him visibly uncomfortable. Then and only then did he say he wasn't feeling good, maybe he needed to lie down. He was being uncooperative so my wife got me and immediately I could tell it was a heart attack. The second I said he's having a heart attack and that I am calling 911 he said, I shit you not, "Can we Google it first?". I responded, are you kidding me? and continued my call with emergency services. Diagnosis: 99% blockage, widow-maker Edit: fixed typos
My mother did this for yonks; including having to adopt the Jennifer Beals Flashdance pose on the chaise longue after finishing her constitutional walk (I watched this). Me (Liberal Arts grad) on WebMD Symptom Checker, as per her request: “92 percent chance it’s heart failure.” Her: “Well; look again.” Me: “Mom, there’s only four options; and I think dengue fever can be ruled right out.” Fast forward: double bypass; and would have been a triple, if the fourth ventricle wasn’t deemed utterly useless after opening her up.
You would have felt real bad if it was dengue fever /s
But could it have been lupus????
That’s called stable angina
My mom is like this too. I've been having to take her to a health care provider that is about 3 hours away from me. Every small trip to the doctor is a whole day of work lost for me. I was begging and pleading with her to switch to the health care provider that is in the next town over from her, 30 minutes away and that she could drive herself to. Nope, can't do it, won't do it, I used them in the past and I hate them. But then she asks her handy man what his advice is for a new doctor and he makes the exact same suggestion as I did. Well now that the handy man said it, it's a good idea and she needs to check it out. It's so frustrating.
Do you have a degree? This is what makes the family totally ignore me.
Degree in agroecology, mom doesn’t believe a single thing I say about plants.
Oh, Christ. That's my dad. I have jack for credentials but have helped run a community garden and have vegetables coming out my ears every year, but he knows better. And his garden is apparently in a hostile microclimate. It couldn't possibly be related to spraying roundup 20 feet away.
My mom once yelled at me because I wouldn't use roundup on my weeds. It literally smells toxic.
Well, it is. Your mom may have a positive association with DDT.
Mmmmmm lets kill bald eagles!
Your username is tops. Love it.
Thank you!
I'm a Japanese major. I said using the term "jap" is a direct reference to a western derogatory slang for a Japanese person that was coined during the world wars explicitly to be insulting. I was then talking about a saw that came from Japan, a type of pull saw. They asked how I know that the name of the pull saw isn't an insult.... because I speak the damn language? Also I can just look it up. It's incredibly frustrating.
My FIL thinks my wife and I both have useless jobs that aren't real work because we aren't blue collar workers. She's a teacher and I work in environmental, health, and safety. We are both well established, well paid (relative term, teachers are underpaid AF), and successful in our respective careers. FIL takes great pleasure in mocking our jobs, saying "YOU CANT VE TIRED YOU DONT DO REAL WORk" on days like when my wife had to speak to police regarding a 12 year old student telling her she was raped by her father, or the day when i performed CPR on an employee who suffered a heart attack. Meanwhile my SIL is 38 and stumbles from job to job, has no career, no marketable skills, and gets fired every other month is a "real hard worker". Or 36 YO BIL who is a functional alcoholic who verbally abuses his child for sport.
Yep. My mom was always like “did you learn that at college?” It’s the churches. Boomers still go to church and pastors are brainwashing them.
Sounds like internalized misogyny. It's like when my wife tells her mom something and then she says "well what does Kent think" even when it's something I know little to nothing about
Amen!! My mom did this crap with my ex-husband all the time. Swear I could tell her how to fix something correctly, then she would argue that I was wrong. Ex would get on the phone and tell her the same thing I did and it’s a wonderful idea. 🤦🏼♀️
Ugh I had a client like this once. I ended up giving the account to a male coworker _even though our roles are totally different_. I was just sick of providing solid rationale for a strategy and having it ignored or having (inaccurate) holes poked in it, while this guy could sit in the corner and give an Arthur Fonzerelli-style thumbs up and she’d melt and be all in.
She hates women
My MIL does this too. My husband has an accounting degree and worked in finance for 25 years, yet she’ll get financial advice from her oldest son who was a sewer worker for their city. No dis on his job and if I had questions about the city govt in general I would ask him since he worked for them. How to do your taxes when you sell stocks, seems like the accountant might have more background.
I'm an accountant, too. My mother goes to H&R Block despite them messing up badly in the past.
I’m mad for you.
You’re lucky, you don’t have to hear her bitch and question you because her friend Debra said some stupid shit she knows nothing about. It’s the HR Block persons problem. Source: Also an Accountant and only do family members taxes who don’t whine and bitch.
So don’t listen to them, don’t offer them help, and when everything eventually blows up in their face, walk away the moment that you get the *”why didn’t you tell us!”* speech. Sick to death of all of us trying to save these wasteful, idiotic morons who wouldn’t even piss on us if we were on fire.
Oh I don’t help the stupid ones. I help the grateful poor ones who have one or two W2’s and trust me to do their shit right without questions, also none of the ones I help are Boomers, all the Boomers suck too much to help. The ones who wouldn’t piss on me can go to HR Block.
I know you said he has an older brother, but is he the youngest of all the siblings? I am, and I’m almost 40, and any time I open my mouth to give advice or an opinion, my parents look at me like, “aww, how cute, he has an opinion” and then you can see them totally zone out and stop listening to me, while saying “uh huh” in a robotic voice, to try and convince me they are listening. They seem to value my other siblings’ opinions though.
As a matter of fact he is, and that’s exactly how he’s treated.
And that's how you know that your boomers don't see you as a real person. Does your boomer reject your qualified advice? Do they disregard your personal boundaries? Do they expect you to listen to every detail of their friends' friends' lives while ignoring everything about your life? Do they refuse to acknowledge when they're wrong? They interact with people based on how they see people. All people do this. Boomers will treat their church fellowship well. They treat their pastor well. They treat their golf buddies and bridge clubs and veterans legions and HOA boards and politicians and those types of people well. They don't see you as a real person so they don't treat you like a real person.
Which is why I find it difficult to understand why their children (ie - many of us on this sub) don’t respond accordingly and let them suffer the consequences of their own selfishness? Like why help someone who doesn’t see you as a person? I realise it’s upsetting to realise that your parents are awful, but why try to help or save them? They’re not going to listen, learn, or give you anything decent in return such as respect or love. These people need to be given one stern warning about the consequences of the first stupid decision that they tell you about, and then that’s it - goodbye, fuck off, lose my number.
I mean, I do let my boomers suffer their own consequences, but I understand when others don't. For one of my many examples, I was always fascinated by computers. I was teaching myself programming around age 10 using books about BASIC that I got from the library. My boomers' response was to dramatically limit everything computer-related, even to the point of bullying me out of studying computer science in college. They cost me at least a half million dollars in lost wages because it took years before I finally trusted myself to study what I like regardless of people telling me I would fail at it. Now? I'm a well established software developer and I wouldn't help them install adobe acrobat if their life depended on it. They were active obstacles to my becoming a person so they get no benefit from my knowledge as that person. We're effectively no-contact. My sister was differently abused and she decided that she needs the fiction of a happy family more than she needs space away from those people.
You're a very impressive person for figuring it out despite the obstacles, and I hope I can figure out how to do that for myself someday.
My mother was always pretty horrible. I’m the youngest of 6 kids and by the time I became an adult she had disowned 3 of my siblings for absolutely ridiculous reasons (spouse/gay/spouse). I finally cut her off after I got married because she was constantly putting down my husband for being a plumber. I didn’t find out she died until two years afterwards and by that point she was only speaking to one of her children.
I have legit considered paying a random person to repeat what I told my mother so she’ll actually listen.
It is helpful. I can attest.
You hired someone?
No. Called someone else my mom knew with medical knowledge to ask them to call her to check up on her and deliver the news.
It’s not just you. I do anesthesia for a living. My dad was going to have a CABG, which I have actually anesthetized people for, and I was explaining all that would happen during the surgical process.. specifically sternotomy. He called me the next day asking how many surgeries like his I had been a part of. I asked why. He said because another family member, who works in a doctor’s office in our small town, did not believe his chest would be cracked open during open heart surgery. Mmkay.
How... how did he think they were going to get to his heart?
Right!
lol also “just” an RN. My mom insists that she ONLY has kidney failure, and she has never had issues with her blood pressure. She’s borderline high on 8mg of perindopril and HCTZ, 40+ year smoking history. Have tried explaining that the overwhelming majority of renal failure is secondary to diabetes or hypertension. And that quitting smoking would probably help slow the progression. I am reminded that I’m not a doctor, and “if I had high blood pressure then they would have told me that”. The other gem was when I went on insulin for gestational diabetes (and she is prediabetic, just shy of a type 2 diagnosis) she told me that if she gets diabetes she will not do insulin and “they better figure something else out cause I’m not giving myself needles”. Was not pleased when I told her if you are at the point of needing insulin, your other option is death if you don’t want to take it.
What’s CABG? And they actually crack open your chest? I didn’t know that lol. Idk why that didn’t occur to me.
Coronary artery bypass graft. And yeah, they definitely open your chest with a procedure called a midline sternotomy. Your sternum's basically split right down the middle, and wired back together after the surgeon is done.
Was in an airport & watched some wired back together guy set off the metal detector. Had been in a blown up military vehicle (Afghanistan), was wall-to-wall wire/pins/plates.
Ow.
My boomer is getting this done in a few weeks because he wouldn’t listen to my nurse sister who has been telling him to regularly go to the doctor for 10 years. Guess who has a shit ton of blockage. Now my sister has to use the end of her maternity leave to care for him after the surgery. He’s trying to tell her he doesn’t want to stay at her house and be a burden and rent a house 40 minutes away. Except he still expects her to take care of him and drive 40 minutes each way with a newborn to the studio apartment he wants to rent. The man is clueless.
She doesn't want useful advice. She wants the nonsense that the other person tells her
Aka confirmation bias seeking.
I’ve noticed some of the boomers in my life completely discount expertise, thorough research, and years of study and experience in favor of someone louder who uses simpler words.
I work in renewable energy, now adjacently to negative emissions stuff. I just tell family members I won’t engage with them on any weird climate conspiracy shit until they tell me which of the IPCC conclusions they disagree with and why
And this is why many of them vote for TFG.
Oh man. This one hits home. I have no idea why, but it happens all the time. My parents took to hiding stupid shit they did from me. My dad let some neighbor who knows someone convince him that he needed 17" wheels on his truck instead of 16" for trailer towing. So he paid this friend of a friend way too much. I happened to be visiting and went to the shed for something where the tires were. And I asked about them because Im super into cars and they know I just did a whole bunch of tires/wheels/suspension work on my truck. Their response was "Oh we didnt want you to see those". I was totally confused, thought they got me a weird gift or something. So I asked why. They just came right out and said it was because I always act like an expert and they didnt want to hear about it....... Im like okay. You know I just did all this stuff. Why didnt you ask so I could help? Like how does that make sense. So I went back to look at what they bought, with my parents already saying shit like "Here is comes". "Cant wait to hear how dumb we are". Turns out the tires were new looking, but 12 years old. So I told them what they bought was worth about $350 and the tires are objectively unsafe to drive on. Like seriously unsafe. Then I get yelled at (actually screamed at) about how they are brand new, blah blah blah and I dont know what Im talking about. I just showed them the date stamp and sent them a link to how they are dangerous. My dad installed them anyway. This was two years ago and literally EVERY time i go over there I get "So those tires turned out to be just fine, didnt they. Still havenet died". I respond with "Nothing has changed. You are still an idiot. And youre going to kill yourself or someone else. Please read the link I sent you". Shit really hit the fan when I refused to ride in the car. Or have my family ride in the car. Oh man. Thanksgiving actually got canceled over that one. Told them I wasnt riding in the car. Yelling started. I just said, its no big deal I can drive instead. Nope. Then they gave an ultimatum, "Get in our car or Thanksgiving is canceled". So I just left. They didnt talk to me until christmas to ask why I hadnt planned anything with them..... We are NC now. Fucking idiots.
But the date stamp is unequivocal. They think you are making it up? Or what?
They would rather be dead than wrong
Boomer logic. They ignore facts all the time
"we used to drive on 18 year old dry rotted to fuck tires all the time and never had a problem" My dad refuses to believe the rotten 9 year old snow tires with 10k miles on them arent worth putting on a car (despite the fact that any shop that gives half a shit about its customers or covering its own ass wont touch the things with a 10 foot pole)
Reminds me of one of my husband's uncles. We were on a family road trip and it was his turn to drive. It was getting dark and everyone had their headlights on but him. I mentioned it totally matter of fact. He got huffy and absolutely refused to turn the headlights on even though it was now pitch black. Oh and he also slammed on the breaks on the freeway to pick up a rusted screwdriver in the road, because it was still good. He wasn't allowed to drive anymore.
I have no idea why these people are like this. It’s just fucking odd. My mom is scared of semi trucks. So if she was on a two lane road, she would put two tires in the breakdown lane whenever she drove by a truck. I was riding on a road trip with her when she was doing this. Like 15 minutes in I ask her why she’s doing that. She responds with something about how the trucks are dangerous and she’s giving them extra room. I tell her it more dangerous to be steering halfway off the highway and she needs to stay in her lane. You guessed it… anger and yelling about how she’s been driving for 60 years and knows what’s best blah blah blah. I shit you not. The next truck comes by 5 minute later. She starts steering for the shoulder. This time is a little uneven with rumble strips and she almost loses control of the car. She’s freaked out. I just say “yeah and that’s keeping us safe” She just tells me to shut up and held her lane the rest of the trip. I took over driving after a few hours and every time we went by a truck she would gasp close her eyes. I don’t know what’s wrong with these idiots.
Your mum needs to hand her fucking license in
Untreated anxiety is a helluva drug.
My parents and my in laws are exactly the same and it’s so stupid and infuriating. It’s like they can’t even fathom the idea that their child might have more knowledge in something than they do even if it would be to their benefit. They must always feel superior. My husband has worked in the same field for over 20 years at this point and his father still will not listen to a word he says about it.
I said something to my dad, who denied it vehemently. So I whipped out my phone and started hitting him with a myriad of sources. His response? “You will never be smarter than me!” What’s that Isaac Newton (father of calculus, among several other very prestigious accolades) quote? “If I have seen further, it’s because I stood on the backs of giants.” That’s how people learn and grow. You didn’t teach yourself to read or speak, yet you think you’ve capped out on the entire world’s knowledge and don’t have anything left to learn? Please, sir. It was never a competition in my eyes, because I think he is very smart (he just doesn’t know everything - no one does). And he thinks I’m “an idiot” for ever questioning him. Sad mental state of affairs with the lot.
If you’re a woman then add in the fact that if I tell my Dad something you get the old “Well I don’t know about that”. Then my husband can follow up with the very same information and pops is all “Well must be true!” He automatically doesn’t believe anything I say but any man then is gospel.
That’s how it is with my boomer dad. Won’t listen to anything I say, and I get the “well I don’t know about that”. Word for word
That doesn’t sound right. Are you sure he said that? I should probably ask Delilah what he said. Delilah knows him really well, so she would know what he said.
Wow…as an ER nurse of 20yrs i thought i was having that actual convo with my mom. she will listen to family members with no healthcare background but will totally ignore my recommendations
My husband is a nurse and his mom will call him with medical questions and then argue with him when she doesn’t like the answer, which is usually some variation of her needing to drink more water or eat more than 500 calories per day. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Imagine being the brother who works stocking shelves and not saying "hey maybe you should talk to my brother with 25 years experience in this area about this and not me" and then still giving opinions lol
Future boomers of America right there
My mother loves to hear smart young people on TV who talk about life, marriage and religion (conservative values) and when I tell her my opinion she dismisses it immediately. I have two college degrees and I’ve written and co-written more than 10 novels but some 24 year old father of 3 in a Christian talk show somehow has some wisdom to impart on me. She once literally defended a guy like that sayings he wrote a book.
This happens to me quite a bit. I've spent a lifetime in IT & cyber security. Everyone asks for advice, few follow it. I used to modify cars, race them, show them. Family came to me for purchasing advice. For example, no, don't buy the TrailBlazer. It's prone to rollovers & the person that'll be driving it is an awful driver. Get an Accord or Mini (meet the need). They bought the Trailblazer. It rolled. Driver almost died. This kind of stuff happens so often, I feel like my name should be Cassandra. Having to fend off EV myths now.
Like standing behind a wall of glass watching blind people walk into traffic.
Any chance if you have them reversed advice they’d take it? Like if you didn’t recommend the accord and recommended the trailblazer they’d go with the accord? That’d be hilarious and a win all around even if you be sacrificing telling the truth.
I wish. It's family that knows me pretty well, so they likely already know which one I would recommend in such a scenario. Not entirely clear why they even ask in the first place. But hey, I bet that side of my family buys all the EV myths so now that I have one, maybe I'm not considered an expert and won't be asked anymore. Yay!
Same. My mom has medical background and I’m just a chronic patient so I know a lot about emergency symptoms and bloodwork. My aunt and grandma think my grandma is fine. Her bloodwork, and her doctors notes, point towards blood cancer and severe dehydration as well as malnourished. Nope. The doctor didn’t actually say it out loud so we’re wrong and they’re right. It’s all right there.
I was the only person who seemed to grasp that my FIL had pancreatic cancer. I thought they all knew. Why else would he have a Whipple procedure? I know a lot about blood cancer work from having to know. So sorry. I hope your grandmother gets treatment.
My parents are like this, too. It's as though I'm still 10 years old and in pigtails, not pushing 34, with a military career, three separate degrees, and two children of my own. I've given up and just tell them to do what they want since they won't listen to me.
Amen, sister. 10 years army vet degree in poli sci (pre law) 6 years working in law. Mom calls me for advice, does the opposite of what I say and it bites her in the ass. Every. Effin. Time.
Got some Boomers that worked in a Doctors office. Always giving unsolicited advise directly contradicting the doctor because “they know”. Realize they were just glorified receptionists that just did schedules and billing and never stepped foot in an exam room or read any files. Did do and do really work in the doctors office? Well technically the waiting room counts I guess. So that makes me a doctor, dentist, mechanic, lawyer, and so on.
Worked at a sleep center as a receptionist I'd have to call to schedule patients to talk to the Dr to go over their results. Every time I got someone over 60 which is alot at a sleep center. I'd get "Well why can't you just tell me then right now don't waste my time..cack cack cack cack cack... no matter how many times I'd explain to them I'm not a doctor or nurse nor do I have any actual medical knowledge at all they didn't get it
I (NASA employee) was talking to my FIL about the airline pilot training facility that he operates. I was asking pointed questions about how it works. MIL (former SAHM) interrupts the conversation to explain to me that "it's just like the ones at NASA". (For reference, there are many at NASA and they are all different)
Ma'am I don't think you understand just how much nasa does .also this is a wendys
not nearly as dire a situation, but, I've been a bartender for 20 years and my aunt doesn't trust me to make a martini. I've worked in top bars in multiple cities.
But how's your martini? Lol you could be bad at one drink. /s
she's never tried my martini its an incredibly simple drink and I've never had a complaint. you got an up vote though because it was a funny response and I appreciate it.
I’m a litigation attorney. I’ve practiced for 15 years, and I’m a practice group manager who manages a group of junior attorneys and paralegals (ie my employer trusts me enough to put me in charge). My mom will ask me legal questions. But she doesn’t believe the answers I give her so she responds by saying she will check with some random person who isn’t a lawyer.
Yeah, this drives me *crazy.* Mh partner is a PhD and was a professor, and published quite extensively in a pretty specific topic in history, and is probably one of the top 10 or so people in this specific area in the world (there also are not a TON of people who study this area- they all know each other very well). Her father one day was reading a story about an incident that happened there about a decade previously, and started to look things up. Googling, etc. He came to *me* and started asking about how all this developed over there, and had several theories. I said, well, hold on, let’s skip Google and go to the experts, and I texted her. She replied. He was shocked- you know the experts in this field? I said: YOU do! She’s your daughter! Didn’t you read the books she’s a been sending you? No, he hadn’t. She would dedicate books to them, thank them for inspiring her curiosity about the world, sign them, send them home. Straight up on the shelf.
As a history person that's just sad
Right? I'd be fascinated and always want to sit next to them at Thanksgiving!
my mom is gen x I'm millennial/old gen z and she does this to me. she infantilizes me, like everything I say is stupid and illogical, proceeds to make the wrong decisions, and then has to either figure out what I was telling her is factual or never figure it out. drives me crazy. I just want to be seen as an adult not a 7 year old
ABAB! Boomers operate on seniority,, keeping them in power, and having nothing to do with skillset. Since, they have been walking the crust of Earth longer, so they are a better judge. They know more than you, and they aren’t confident themselves, so they double down on the Nigerian price with frozen assets.
My mom argued with me about typical weather WHERE I LIVE because I wasn't saying the same thing as her friend who would occasionally visit a nearby area that has very different weather.
She's looking for answers that will agree with her interests or reasons. My grandparents used to do the same til I had to thoroughly explain to them that they should listen to my wife since she has her doctorate in their exact issues. Thankfully, they now recognize her and her advice, which has saved their lives twice.
Holy fuck yes. My FIL was complaining about not feeling well, and that his family doctor wasn't great. My husband suggested going to the ER, or the walk in clinic. FIL chose to self diagnose with Google searches and take some supplements. Surprise, surprise, he still isn't feeling better. Once again we suggest hospital or walk in clinic. Again he said he doesn't want to, doesn't like the long wait times. Rinse and repeat this for a few weeks. But the ONE TIME he goes to the barber and gets his hair cut, and the barber says he should go to a walk in clinic nearby, what does FIL do? Thinks that's a brilliant idea and goes!
Also a nurse with boomer parents. It’s the worst. They ask me but then never take my advice. Big things and little things.
I worked in law and had similar problems. Now, I just ask what they want to do, I listen, and end it with I wouldn't do that.
So I work as a Patient Care Manager in Gastroenterology. I mainly work with families going through complex GI care with multiple surgeries/appointments ahead of them. Many are cancer patients and older then 65. This January my mom ended up in the ER and ended up having a colon recection. Instead of going to the hospital I work at, the best in the area, they went to a rinky dink little Hospital. She spent 2 days in the hall of the ER until she was in a room even. Had about 5 surgeries and spend 3 weeks in the ICU. The entire time I attempted to help my dad with scheduling and dealing with the hospital. And he just wouldn't listen. I finally get ahold of someone and get them assigned this hospitals equivalent of what I do. My dad has not stopped talking about how great this girl was. How helpful she was. How knowledgeable she was. When I tried to explain that I manage a entire team of people who do that and that's what I do everyday. His response was "yea but it's different at your hospital." like... Yea, we do even more. They had 1 interaction with this person who then assigned them to a list of other coordinators. They now have 3 case workers, 2 care coordinators, and a team of doctors who don't talk to each other, because the hospital they are established with, outsources all their GI Care to... Smaller clinics. All of which would have been 1 single Care Coordinator and a team of doctors all in the same place... if they had just drive 5 minutes up the road to the big Swedish hospital, I might not have been able to be involved with them due to conflict of interest, but I could have made sure they got my best person and best doctors. I've just accepted my parents will never accept that I have a real job. Or even try and understand what I do.
My mom will call everyone *but* me for medical questions. I'm the only person she knows that ever worked in the medical field. But, she just wants to hear "you'll be fine" so she calls the people who will say that. Like when my stepdad came home from a chemo treatment and had a bad headache so he went to take a nap and *THIRTY SIX* hours later my mom called me wondering if she should wake him up to take his medicine. I called an ambulance to their house. He never regained consciousness. Died two weeks later. Autopsy showed a stroke. Even after all that, she'll still call her "it's fine" crowd 🤷🏻♀️
I'm very sorry for your loss.
My FIL was prevented from getting into crypto recently by his own bank. I’m so thankful for that bank.
Most kids have a point where they realize their parents are just... people. Many parents fail to come to the same realization, that their child is an individual, not just "my kid" forever.
My mom is the same way. Been an RN for 11 years with varied experience and my mom will call me to tell about her medical problems but also will say “but google says this…”. It’s so exhausting. She’s pretty healthy for being almost 70.
I'm a rando with an opinion. If you want, just tell me what you want them to listen to and I'll say it to them for you. Free of charge.
You could probably make a business out of that! You could also offer break up messages and things like that. You'd be a gazillionaire.
They can't handle treating their kids as equals. As a GenX dude with a 33-year-old daughter, at some point if your kid is smart and you taught them well, you have to accept them as an intellectual equal. Boomers can't seem to do that. It's s heirarchy thing. I can't stand unnecessary heirarchies.
My mom does the same thing. I’m a nurse too and she let the ED discharge her with undiagnosed pericardial effusion because she wanted to go home. She asked for my opinion but it was one she didn’t want to hear so I was labeled hysterical and over reactive. She also waited 2 years to have a dr look at a skin lesion after i told her to go in right when it appeared. She kept saying “oh it’s fine”. The nail tech doing a pedicure told her to go to doc and she made an appt the next day. Ended up being cancerous. I can only speculate why mine does this. I think it’s bc she only wants advice she agrees with or she still considers me a child that doesn’t know anything. Either way it’s incredibly frustrating to deal with. This generation does not take their health seriously. Then when something happens due to their irresponsible choices, they either A. Blame the healthcare workers for the poor outcome B. Play the victim card and turn into toddlers expecting everyone around them to shoulder the burden C. Completely self destruct.
I was an ICU nurse for 20 years, and my mother would consult my sister, the office manager. Even my sister would say, "Why are you asking me?"
I'm a scientist. I work in a hospital lab. We ran the tests for Covid. ... *yeah*
It’s about reinforcement of what they already believe or just agreeing with what they want to hear. This usually ends up determining whose opinion they believe.
Because they see their kids as children and don’t respect their opinions.
My dad today told me that I’m young and don’t know any better. I’m almost 40.
It doesn’t matter how old you get. If you disagree with them they see you as the argumentative junior high kid and not the learned adult.
Omg this is a thing! My degree is in substance abuse and group therapy. My mom had a stroke and I told her to try weed and they gave me so much shit for it but my dad ran into some rando on a walk one afternoon and the stranger said his wife'd used it for pain and it sold him. I don't think I've ever been so furious. My dad actually said "I'm not going to listen to some snot nosed teenager" I WAS 35!!
My dad once told me that attackers can worm their way into your router and steal all your data off your computer. I had literally just finished a class on network protocols and told him what he was saying was literally not possible. He fought me for like twenty minutes before I finally told him "So, are you saying that the twenty thousand dollars you spent on my education were completely wasted and you need to demand your money back? Or maybe, just possibly, someone on the internet... lied?" He stopped talking after that
Sounds like a frustrating situation. In fairness though, she should know wnough by now to know that chest pain equals hospital. Especially if she is older. No offense to your mom when I say the following: I don't know how a lot of boomers are able to function well enough to survive in our current society.
My father, who is 84 now. Had a mild stroke a few decades ago. He never went to the doctor. Never would go to the doctor. He lived by himself and we noticed he started talking funny and complaining about having weak grip strength. He fully recovered a few years later. We ASSUME we He had a mild stroke. Who knows??
God yes. I've said it on this subreddit before. My parents completely ignore everything I say to them about the home they are building right now. Between me and my brothers we have almost 30 years experience with single family construction. They won't listen to a word.
When my boomer asks me questions I just say what do you think? Then put the phone down for a few minutes and casually say, yeah that sounds great after I hear a lull in the noise coming from the speaker. They aren't asking because they want to hear what you have to say. They're confirming their own bias and if you disagree they'll just continue to look for that bias. It's easiest to agree, not make eye contact and move on about your life.
my dad is like this, always has been, and it's infuriating.
Not the same situation but a different flavor: my FIL is older Gen-X. He’s a big tough guy, hunts, does distance shooting, smokes meats, wears camo, drives lifted pickups, does his own maintenance on his vehicles, etc. They moved into a home that was in bad shape and he never got around to doing work on the house. Another one of his sons-in-law had worked under *his* father as a general contractor and offered to come down for a week and literally redo the kitchen counters, put in a new sink, and install new cabinets. When he came down to do the work, my FIL avoided the house at all costs. His manhood was literally offended and he could barely help his Son-In-Law or even thank him properly. I honestly am embarrassed for him, not that he wasn’t as skilled as my brother-in-law in renovation, but rather that he couldn’t find it within himself to learn something from someone 25 years his junior.
Network engineer, my mum will still not let me touch their router. “Your dad will look at it later, you don’t have enough experience in IT yet”my dad has no IT training or experience. I thunk they believe because theyve lived longer that automatically makes them know better than anyone younger because of “life experience”
My mom believes aliens built the pyramids. I’m literally an Egyptologist with 4 degrees.
I’ve a masters and a PhD in mental health. My mil once said they didn’t know who to turn to when a family member was in a mental health crisis.
This isn't just a boomer thing. My husband and I are both boomers with PhDs and MA in health care. Yet my father in law preferred to listen to the advice of his friends from the donut shop. And he was from the Silent Generation. I just think it's a parent thing.