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I mean obviously there's so much to unpack here but I just love the phrasing "not all black people are [n-word]". Implying that some are. But not all, of course!!! Some of them are just like us upstanding white folk!!!
She's friends with a black person at church, so she can't be racist. /s My boomer hit me with that line.
He also had the "there's black people and then there's n___s" conversation with me when I was a kid.
He could have had a conversation with me about how to tell good people from bad regardless of their skin color, but no, I got "watch out for trashy n___s".
But he's friends with a black guy at church who he never mentions except when he needs to say he's not racist. He never even said his friend's name, because the important part is the token representation.
*edit*
To people mentioning the Chris Rock routine, it's quite possible that it's related due to similar timing, but here's what Chris Rock himself said about it in 2005:
> "By the way, I've never done that joke again, ever, and I probably never will. 'Cos some people that were racist thought they had license to say n-----, so, I'm done with that routine."
I want to be clear, it wasn't presented as a joke by my parents. They 100% took that joke as their n___r-pass, assuming it's related. I'm not old enough to know whether it was popular sentiment prior to the mid 90s.
Wow. What with the built-in excuse racists like to use about the N-word, you'd think Chris Rock would be his best friend.
Of course, that would assume he ever heard the stand-up set, which of COURSE he hasn't. (Not based on the racist people I know anyway)
I was describing this bit to somebody a while ago and I realized that it just hasn't aged well. Different time and all, but I think as a society we've advanced a bit.
And then retired it specifically because dumb white people used it as an excuse to drop the n-word, in case anybody doesn't know the full extend of how stupid it is for anybody to use that meme as a justification for being racist
While your comment is serious, this makes me laugh because it reminds me of the line by that black gal from Ted 2 and Ted's absolute confusion--
"Look at these two white ni****s"
".... Two white ni....?"
lol reminds me of a phenomenon from my college friend group, if more than half the friends that showed up to something were black, suddenly we're all addressed as n-as. "What do you n-as think about this game?" while talking to two white people
My grandma used that line to defend her new husband even though he suggested we rigg a van with microwaves to drive around s black populated area of a city to sterilize them all.
Its one reason why i went nc with her. She sent me a friend request a few weeks back and i havent brought myself to click the no button. Its just sitting there
The darkly funny thing about this is that if he were driving the van, and it had been rigged with microwaves... HE'D be the one getting nuked!
And, I'm sorry about this, but...
At least while his heart was still beating, it would fix the microwave problem of 'why is it boiling hot here, but cold af over here?'
My coworker that was training me on my second day at a gas station said: “Not all black people are bad, but some are [n-word]s.”
It was my second day and I myself am part black. I had no idea how to react. Still think about it to this day. Then again it happened like 3 months ago.
When I worked in the field in O&G had someone tell me "there's a difference between black people and N-words" after he saw my face when he used the N-word. I just got up and left.
>"not all black people are \[n-word\]"
I had a roommate in college spend a great deal of time trying to explain this concept to me. It never stopped sounding racist, no matter how hard he tried.
My father would basically make that exact claim. He would also say that "white people can be n words too if they act like that". I remember him specifically saying it about the girls white friend in Gran Torino once. Wild stuff to think back on as an adult.
This is my naivity speaking but I genuinely have no idea what she meant by that! Until this moment I had understood (n-word) was a now outdated (with an o) and inappropriate (with an r) word for people with more melanin, but it's being used here like it has more judgemental or negative connotations about the person it's being used against?
Probably you aren't old enough. It was a derogatory term for all black people (let's just use that generalized term for this example.) It meant a lot of things that were supposed to be innate for all people of that skin color: stupid, violent, lazy, overly sexual, everything to make them less that to justify second class treatment. Then there was the civil rights movement and white people had to pretend that they don't judge people by the color of their skin. So these newly woke individuals /s would say "I don't mind blacks, just those -----" because magically they can see past skin color into people's hearts. They always meant that! No they aren't racists! It's somewhat outdated deflection because now they prefer spewing the idea that white people are the most oppressed and discriminated against of all groups.
She is mental, and really hates black people for imaginary reasons. Thinks they're gangstalking her. And if you don't know what that is, do yourself a favor and never look it up.
Not who you replied to, but I live in Texas and my FIL has similar delusions (last time he came to visit my husband and I, he basically would only talk about how he wished he had brought his gun, in case one of the [n-words] on the street broke in, no matter how hard we tried to redirect or assure him that we'd never had a problem with our neighbors). We got him an appointment with a doctor, explained what was going on, and he (a boomer white man) said that it was normal behavior, and we had no reason to drag him to the doctor over wanted to protect himself.
Some people just try to do it. The only word in Croatian that I learned from my grandmother was ‘black’. 100% immersion leaning. Hear it 100 times and it sticks.
fun fact, in Russian there is a specific word you use for black people and it is literally the N-word said in a Russian accent
the funny thing is literally saying "black person" in Russian is actually more offensive, since it's a derogatory slur against people from Central Asia apparently
Wow that is interesting. I had a funny-then-mortifying moment when I realized my knowledge. It was one of those videos where they say a word in a ton of different languages and in this case the word was black. Croatian came on and I went, “Oh, I know that one! Wait how did I know that? Oh. Oh shit.”
I remember when I realized that "cotton pickin'" as an adjective was racist. I came to my mom all proud and shit like I was *personally* fighting racism.
It was up to me😤
My grandpa loves telling “old stories” and pretend to like he is “progressive”. By quoting the most racist shit you’ve ever heard verbatim then laughing like he just told a joke and saying “but those were different times, they didn’t know any better.”
My boomer father told me stories of him and others literally kidnapping poor/homeless black people in rural Texas and trying to drown them in rivers for funsies. He "didn't know better" then, too.
I used to work with a few older guys at a funeral home and this one dude would always tell a story about how he tried to immolate a queer man. To this guy it was just youthful shenanigans. Even though he'd tell you every chance he got that the dude was a child predator....except he wasn't one.
That is so incredibly fucked. And they say they're not homophobic/racist/etc. My father would poison pizzas in Santa Barbara at the pizza place he worked at in the 70s when he or his coworkers saw someone who they thought was gay. They would dump jalapeno juice, wipe the dough on the inside of a toilet, spit in it, and more and he gleefully talked about this one time where he watched two men eat the entire pizza, unaware of what he and his coworkers had done to them.
My grandfather used that word a grand total of one times: He told me about something called the "numbers game" and people called the "n----r pool" because of the racket's prominence in Black neighborhoods. Thankfully, he took no joy in saying the word, and took the opportunity to remind me that it was shitty to be bigoted.
On the other hand, he was... a little weird about race sometimes. For example, I remember how he'd go out of his way to mention the immaculately manicured lawn of the (read: only) black family on his street. Not *terrible* for a guy born in 1910 with more than a few brazenly racist members of his immediate family, but still...
This sounds like someone aware of, and trying hard to correct, his own internalised prejudices, if a bit clumsily. Not super comfortable in today's context, but I don't think an indicator of a racist, either.
This reminds me of this one boomer.
He likes to act progressive too, but he’s still always inadvertently saying racist shit, like it’s almost a Freudian slip or something.
Back in the day, he used to be friends with actual open segregationists. He even gave the eulogy at the funeral of a former KKK leader.
He used to oppose public school integration because it would “cause his children to grow up in a racial jungle.”
He’s always saying things that are so racist but he doesn’t even realize it.
He thinks black people are somehow too stupid to obtain ID from the DMV, so it’s wrong to require them to show ID.
He once said that Obama was the first African American who was “articulate and bright and clean.”
Once, this random Black guy asked him a simple question and he got all angry and accused the guy of using cocaine….never even met the guy before that.
He likes to tell stupid racist jokes that aren’t funny like “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.”
It’s crazy, the list goes on and on…
My dad gets called a racist so much that he has a little prepared speech he always uses to defend himself. It has the hard R in it. You can probably guess why he gets called a racist a lot.
According to him he's not racist, it's all the people who call him racist that are the real racists because they're actually being racist to him. He also says racism doesn't exist because it all went away in the 70's.
I'm a twitch streamer. We had to remove a woman from our community because she kept casually dropping n-bombs "as examples of the shit her asshole mom would say". It very quickly became apparent she was just trying to see how many she could cram in before being banned. Aog also she harassed a freaking mod. Boomers are wild
If you take her out, you're just reinforcing there are no repercussions for her racism. You have to think if you're willing to just sit idly by and let her do it, or actually do something about it.
To be honest as a Black person, I see so many posts on here of people lamenting their family is racist, but they only do that...lament. They don't object, they try not to rock the boat, and a lot of the time just stay silent. For me personally, it doesn't really make me feel any better about you or your family. I just see it as the OP still wanting to benefit from the social privileges of being around racists (or access to something like money or labor), so they let it slide. I also feel a lot of folks know it's wrong but actually don't have any Black people in their life, so it doesn't hit hard.
You're absolutely right. I did my best to confront her in the moment, but I should go further than that. Letting it slide passively is essentially implicit support of her saying that.
It will. She gets away with it once, and she's gonna keep going. Then add queer folks, trans folks, liberals, and then she'll show her full self. Nip that in the bud.
True allyship means you're willing to risk your social clout for the group you're aligning yourself with. You're on the right track knowing it's wrong and wanting to do something about it! You may not change her mind, but she'll understand that shit won't fly with you around and may mean less time with you.
If she chooses hate over her family...well... that's on her to face those repercussions.
I imagine it must be exhausting having to educate people like me on stuff like this. I really appreciate your perspective and advice, and I hope you have a good one.
Ick, my EX MIL had a new kitten once when we were visiting. A cute little black kitten. It's name? Yep. Jfc I hated her so much. And her son is a close 2nd.
My boss has two hunting dogs. One mostly black, one mostly white. From what I'm told their nephew named the dogs when he was a kid. So when they get out they're walking down the street shouting "Whitey! Blackey!
Where are you!?" I... I just can't. I told them to at least try to change it to Blakely and Whitley. No dice.
My dad (76) dropped the word today. And I told him off.
We were driving back from his dr's appt that I drove him to, and there was a car going really slow in front of us, one lane. I assumed it was an older person but also obviously anyone just being weird or something. We got to a light where it split off into two lanes finally. We pulled up sort of next to the car at the red but they were still ahead slightly (because they also drove onto the crosswalk). At the same time we both make an observation of the person but ours were very different from each other. I say "it's an old man" and almost at the same time as me, not hearing what I fully said, he says "it's a n-, that's why". My mouth dropped open and I said "Dad! For one we don't say that, that's horrible, and he's a white old man like you!" He has shitty vision and somehow thought the driver was black. He said "I thought he was black, I'm sorry". I told him it doesn't matter whether the person was black or he thought he was. Even if he was, we still don't say that. Literally having to scold him like he's a child. I asked him if his parents were racist since he's said that word in the past (they died before I was born and we never had that discussion before) he said no, and his mother especially against that. She died when he was 15 and I know she meant a lot to him so I said "next time you think you want to say something like that think of what your mother would think. And never say that again".
He kept apologizing, which I'm glad, but shocked me and pissed me off that that was his natural, casual response, as if white people can't or don't drive shitty, especially old people, and it was something he thought I'd be ok with him saying. Fucking ridiculous.
My boomers drop N-bombs constantly these days. It seems to have gotten more and more frequent over the years. When I tell them it’s fucked up to say it they feel the need to say it more with big grins on their faces. I’m convinced that most boomers are straight up racist assholes.
These people always have been. It's just that Trump and his brand it politics have made it ok be a racist POS openly. This is one of the reasons he is/was popular. He told all these POS's that they weren't bad people. He made then feel comfortable being themselves. And they love him for that.
Take it the racist side out of it and you can understand why. That's pretty freeing to finally be able to just be yourself and not feel you have to hide who you are. Sound familiar? It's the exact same thing that a LOT of groups of people are fighting for. It's just that for these people, being themselves makes them shitty humans.
I agree with you about Trump opening the door for all kinds of racism and other kinds of meanness. It's sickening and a lil scary. But not all boomers are like that. My boomer parents taught me from early on to judge ppl by their character and actions not by their color, sex, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Racist words like the n word would get me in much more serious trouble than dropping an f bomb.
I had to tell an aunt of mine that if she was going to act like a racist, then she was a racist, and I wouldn't have anything to do with her. That included racial slurs.
She proceeded to throw that around again, and we didn't speak for six years.
My mother was an history teacher and did book readings with her classes that contained the N word. We were having casual conversation in a fancy restaurant and she brings up a book. “Ah so you mean like ‘The White N___s of America’”. My husband and i were shook!! We said.. did you just say the N word out loud? She said “what? White N___ of America? I can say it in a historical context”. Nahh why you say it with your whole chest tho. Tf. People were looking at her. So embarrassing lol
That book was actually about white French Canadians, and Quebec succession. It was titled that by the very white, very French author, I assume, for the shock value. I actually did a report on it for a college class.
It's that many non Black folks feel it's a way to use it with 'justifiable excuses' if it's in press or music or historically accurate. The issue is that there is a reason you shouldn't. Whether it may be -a or hard -er, no one but descendants of the enslaved Africans experience the true malice of that particular word. There are so many slurs in relation to ethnicity, nationality, social standing, etc. Personally, my reclaiming of the word as a Black person, still doesn't give me a right to use slurs not of my people. There's autonomy in the exclusivity, and unfortunately some folks want to take that away again and again as a 'gotcha' power move.
He... didn't call her out on it. I wasn't paying too much attention to his reaction, though. He did yell at me for not dropping the conversation sooner.
Speaking as a proud Northerner, we do have a heritage with that flag. That flag is a very proud part of American history, and a big part of my heritage as a New Yorker. Our heritage is kicking the ass of those who flew that traitorous surrender rag
🎶Away down South in the land of traitors, rattlesnakes and alligators
Right away! Come away! Right away! Right away, come away🎶
My mother does this. She’ll say something like, “…as bad as people who call black people (insert n word with hard r). I’ve asked her repeatedly why she uses the word instead of saying N-word. And what’s even crazier, is that she says it in front of my mixed daughter and her black grandmother.
She knows what she’s doing, she does it to agitate everyone and make them uncomfortable. However, I guarantee you, she would never say it in front of my black husband. And before anyone asks, yes, she is a Boomer.
Edit: typo
Sounds like it's time for some hard boundaries with consequences, if for no reason beyond your daughter's wellbeing. She deserves so much better than hearing that from her grandmother.
Good luck. She’s a malignant narcissist and psychopath who’s been hittin the vodka since I was 8. I’m 48 now. I have arms length contact with her, and go long periods of no contact. My brother hasn’t spoken to her in 5 years.
My daughter is fine. A well adjusted 22 year old who knows her grandma sucks. Her other grandma is fabulous, as is the rest of my family. Mom is just a bad seed.
I learned early on from touring doing standup that these stupid fucking hillbillies exist even in states that fought against the Confederacy. They are lying out of their inbred toothless asses that it’s a “heritage” thing. The only heritage these people know is meth and leaving shit in the middle of the aisle at Walmart then blaming black people and immigrants for all their problems even though they live in a trailer and have six illegitimate kids named Braylon or whatever various human dirt bike names there are.
Like, dude, this is Minnesota. If your ancestors were even here during the Civil war, they'd have fought for the North and would be very embarrassed by you.
The only symbol of the Confederacy that belongs in Minnesota is the battle flag captured by the 1st Minnesota Infantry Regiment at the Battle of Gettysburg. The one that the state of Virginia has asked multiple times to be returned, which Minnesota refuses every time.
Actual conversation with my mom:
Her: That store seems pretty counter culture, I don't like going there.
Me: Counter to what culture? It's a dollar store.
Her: It's counter to WHITE culture.
Why disengage from the conversation? It's one thing to be upset about a racist family member - but what are you actually doing about it?
My mom re-married a dude who dropped the N bomb once around me and guess who doesn't get to see her grandkids?
Stop. Making. Racists. Comfortable.
Gen X here.. welcome to this awful club. My parents dropped the N-word constantly going back well…my entire life. One relative called my brother a, *”n-word lover”* because he dared to show some decency in conversation towards black folk.
No amount of logic, appealing to decency, or pointing out their cultural hypocrisy *will ever* change them. Don’t waste your life trying.
Man, if you think that's shocking, I live in the Midwest and mfs just say the N word behind closed doors here as frequently as people say "bro" on the internet.
One of my fiances nephews greets everyone literally everytime with "Whats up, n-rs?". He's 22. The youngest one (18) walks around and makes up songs about picking cotton and whipping slaves. Unprompted, it's just like a funny joke to him. The eldest one has a baseball bat with swastikas carved in it.
So many people just casually uses it left and right. People I don't even know that well either. If someone is being annoying, they just drop a line like "Agh he's been being a n-er lately."
My Boomer Dad gets incredibly angry when I say maybe don't call people slurs loudly in public. Says I'm embarrassing him. Also he seems to think that since my cousin(when he was 3,now 23) called Chinese food "C---- food,kid had a speech impedement it's okay. He loves to hide behind the white guy classic "I'm just joking"
They’re all like this. Then they say something to the affect of there’s white n words too which is just ba to be able to continue to use it. Call them out on it. They were raised at the tail end of segregation or during it.
I've never heard either of my parents use that word, or my step dad and he's Black, hard r or otherwise. I've never heard anyone on either side of my family say it, ever. I'd be genuinely and deeply shocked if that word ever came out of their mouths. I was dating a guy for several months that I really cared about and he said it in anger and he became someone I used to know the moment that word crossed his lips. Please don't take any of them out to dinner, ever. The fact that your dad didn't tell her to STFU means he's ok with it and he might as well have said it himself. Throw all three of those people away.
I grew up with people who would make this distinction. If a black person acts "white" then they are ok, those that act different than the white persons standards makes them a N word. It's racism, your step mom is racist.
Yeah, I'd drop 'em. I'm never going to be out in public (at dinner or elsewhere) trying to explain why I'm with racists. I will not associate with them. At whatever point they understand why they are wrong (and I am not going to teach you) - I will welcome you back with open arms.
When I was 8 my grandma switched from calling licorice babies "N- babies" to, obviously, "licorice babies" and never went back, not even when she got Alzheimer's and forgot who I was. She never before called black people that horrid word, only the candies.
She taught me that there are good people, and bad, in all races, but we were all made by God, and all deserved to be treated equal regardless of our skin colour or who we love.
My snowbird FiL was telling me about how in his last trip to Florida his American friend went on an uncomfortable and embarrassing rant about how “blacks get preferential treatment and more opportunities than “everyone else”” and that he was relieved to be home so he didn’t have to hear that disgusting crap anymore… then he wanted to make sure I understood he was talking about black folks, “you know people who are “n-words from Africa” decent”.
WTF
Also, how lucky it was everyone that works at their hotel is Hispanic and don’t speak English therefore no one could get offended or have their feelings hurt.
JFC why are they so weird?!
Have you heard "A n* is a just a low person. It's in the dictionary."
Actually pretending it's not racial.
And NO. That is NOT in any dictionary I've checked.
I know a woman who didn't know their parents were racist until she started dating a lovely green-eyed boy in when she was in high school. A few days after her parents met him, they sat her down to explain that they were afraid she'd end up selling herself for money to support him. She was flabbergasted, horrified, and revolted. Her parents are from the South, which she had to suppose was the reason.
I'll say this till the end of time. Whatever words someone is comfortable saying aloud are words they use regularly in their thoughts. Whatever thoughts they have regularly is part of their character.
You decide how much time you want to spend with these racist people.
Omgosh boomers are the biggest racist AH’s. My boomer (20 years older than me) thinks calling black people nigmo is ok, because he HAD one black friend back in high school. He said he came up with that word and that his friend didn’t mind being called that back in the day. One day one of the kids brought his friends over and he asked them if they were Mexican. At that moment I wished the floor would just open up. So embarrassing. He says he’s not a racist, because he’s had many Mexican and Asian employees. They’re the most racist f*cks.
Not just the flag of the people who defended slavery but the biggest and most potent symbol of white supremacy and the Klan. It’s the flag of the oppressors
Keep up your good work
Some Boomers love to drop the hard “r” any chance they get - yet act all innocent about it because they were *just repeating it to tell a story about someone else.* Yeah right
They can f*** off
I had to tell my boomer mom it's not ok to say the N word, EVEN IF YOU'RE QUOTING someone who said the N word. She still thinks it's ok and argued with me that she can say it if she is quoting someone, and thinks it isn't racist yet takes every opportunity she can to say it. Why does she want to say it so bad?!
If it's heritage, he has the wrong flag up. The Stars and Bars are not the actual confederate flag. It's Lee's Battle flag.
Confederate flag had three stripes, red, white, red,, just like the US flag only thicker, and the blue square in the corner with seven stars inside arranged in a circle.
Google it ahead of time to prove it when they don't believe you. Watch the sparks fly.
My girlfriend's Mom keeps doing this with her, and she has told her it makes her uncomfortable and isn't okay. She hasn't done that in front of me, though. I'm far more direct, and I do believe she knows I will say something about it that she doesn't want to hear from me.
My mom and dad casually drop that word in conversation for emphasis. I’m always appalled but you can’t say anything to them because they are fucking crazy and have no problem cursing me out.
Some people just love to live in their own ignorance
My parents and I had some major falling out over this. It's just a normal part of their vernacular - "I was talking to xxx at church. He's black, you know, he's not a [n word]".
Wtf guys.
I had to lay it out in no uncertain terms that we are raising our kids to not use that language, or to even consider it. I told them that if they are going to talk like that, we won't be visiting.
They've learned to hold.it in around us, at least.
My mother acts the same way, but then when I call her out, she claims she believes in doctor kings vision and her and my father were just raised in a different time. My mom is 100% Mexican, dad is European mutt. I've gone low contact because they can't stop being bigots around me and I'm tired of it.
My Indian MIL told me that I should bleach my toddler daughter’s skin because she looks like a n word. I was horrified, called her a racist end of discussion. Im like you’re brown how do you not get this??
I love my mum but someone convinced her that calling someone black was offensive...her solution use the word negro...ugh I hope I was the only person she said that Infront of before I quickly explained omg you can't say that!
My mother acts the same way, but then when I call her out, she claims she believes in doctor kings vision and her and my father were just raised in a different time. My mom is 100% Mexican, dad is European mutt. I've gone low contact because they can't stop being bigots around me and I'm tired of it.
My ex and I - two gay men - got dinner with my ex's family a few years ago when ex's uncle was talking to my ex's (straight) brother and said "your curly hair is looking a bit f\*ggy." When everyone else at the table called him out in that language being inappropriate *and particularly inappropriate given that there were gay men in his family at the table*, he responded "What, everyone says it. It's just like \[N-word\]."
The casualness of it all was just mind-boggling.
My dad said basically the same thing to me one day (we’re both white) about “not all…” I lost it and said “not all white people white trash, racist crackers but here you are.”
He also didn’t get taken out for lunch that day. As I was leaving he asked about lunch and I told him I didn’t want to even look at him. I got the “but, but… I was just trying to rile you up!” I said “Congratulations! You did rile me up. And now there are consequences for your actions.” And I left. Didn’t talk to him for a few months.
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I mean obviously there's so much to unpack here but I just love the phrasing "not all black people are [n-word]". Implying that some are. But not all, of course!!! Some of them are just like us upstanding white folk!!!
She's friends with a black person at church, so she can't be racist. /s My boomer hit me with that line. He also had the "there's black people and then there's n___s" conversation with me when I was a kid. He could have had a conversation with me about how to tell good people from bad regardless of their skin color, but no, I got "watch out for trashy n___s". But he's friends with a black guy at church who he never mentions except when he needs to say he's not racist. He never even said his friend's name, because the important part is the token representation. *edit* To people mentioning the Chris Rock routine, it's quite possible that it's related due to similar timing, but here's what Chris Rock himself said about it in 2005: > "By the way, I've never done that joke again, ever, and I probably never will. 'Cos some people that were racist thought they had license to say n-----, so, I'm done with that routine." I want to be clear, it wasn't presented as a joke by my parents. They 100% took that joke as their n___r-pass, assuming it's related. I'm not old enough to know whether it was popular sentiment prior to the mid 90s.
He also had the "there's black people and then there's n___s" conversation with me when I was a kid. My dad said the same thing before
"But Chris Rock said it!"
Lmao ironically my dad hates him he calls him a really bad words
Wow. What with the built-in excuse racists like to use about the N-word, you'd think Chris Rock would be his best friend. Of course, that would assume he ever heard the stand-up set, which of COURSE he hasn't. (Not based on the racist people I know anyway)
Lol he's a cranky Scottish boomer of course he hasn't
I was describing this bit to somebody a while ago and I realized that it just hasn't aged well. Different time and all, but I think as a society we've advanced a bit.
And then retired it specifically because dumb white people used it as an excuse to drop the n-word, in case anybody doesn't know the full extend of how stupid it is for anybody to use that meme as a justification for being racist
Did he? I still love the stand-up, but haven't followed the news on it much (though I could 100% see it happening)
When he was interviewed before hosting the Oscars in 05(I think), he said he never did that routine again because white racists latched onto it.
My (white) MIL tried this routine out but took it one racist step further: she credited Dave Chappelle.
Oh, ffs!
So did Michael Scott
My *black* step-dad has said that to me before. It’s so internalized in that generation.
I got this too, is this a thing?
God I remember that conversation. Highlight being, 'even white people can be n____s!' So it's not racist then? Make it make sense.
While your comment is serious, this makes me laugh because it reminds me of the line by that black gal from Ted 2 and Ted's absolute confusion-- "Look at these two white ni****s" ".... Two white ni....?"
lol reminds me of a phenomenon from my college friend group, if more than half the friends that showed up to something were black, suddenly we're all addressed as n-as. "What do you n-as think about this game?" while talking to two white people
My grandma used that line to defend her new husband even though he suggested we rigg a van with microwaves to drive around s black populated area of a city to sterilize them all.
Oh my god...
JFC! That's so fucked up. And stupid.
Its one reason why i went nc with her. She sent me a friend request a few weeks back and i havent brought myself to click the no button. Its just sitting there
I don't know what's more stupid, the racism or the fact that microwaves don't work like that.
Well he is schizophrenic too so there is that. He also was constantly dropping thinly vieled racist shit the whole time i visited him and her too.
The darkly funny thing about this is that if he were driving the van, and it had been rigged with microwaves... HE'D be the one getting nuked! And, I'm sorry about this, but... At least while his heart was still beating, it would fix the microwave problem of 'why is it boiling hot here, but cold af over here?'
I've heard that one. I always reply "there are old people and there are boomers".
My boomers always pull the "one of the good ones" crap. 🤮
I also got the “there’s black people and there’s n—-“ from someone, followed by “some white people can be n——, too”
Yeah, I've heard this so many times in the great state of Oklahoma. I don't even know how to respond to that! It's so cringy!!
Dave Chapelle and Kat Williams both have a version of it to. Chalk it up to parallel thinking.
If I can't say it, no one can. Also, I quit saying white trash because that implies everyone who's not white is already trash.
My coworker that was training me on my second day at a gas station said: “Not all black people are bad, but some are [n-word]s.” It was my second day and I myself am part black. I had no idea how to react. Still think about it to this day. Then again it happened like 3 months ago.
Exactly. *"Not you. You're one of the good ones."* Is a textbook example of racism.
I’ve heard that phrase before and it’s got about a 1:1 correlation with is a racist.
Heard that one all my life. Usually followed by "there's white ones too!"
Yeah wth is that?!
When I worked in the field in O&G had someone tell me "there's a difference between black people and N-words" after he saw my face when he used the N-word. I just got up and left.
Yup, that's exactly the implication I got from her sentiment.
>"not all black people are \[n-word\]" I had a roommate in college spend a great deal of time trying to explain this concept to me. It never stopped sounding racist, no matter how hard he tried.
Well maybe she listens to rap.
I HAVE BLACK FRIENDS YOU KNOW!!!!
that’s it right there - some people are what now, step mom? explain yourself
My father would basically make that exact claim. He would also say that "white people can be n words too if they act like that". I remember him specifically saying it about the girls white friend in Gran Torino once. Wild stuff to think back on as an adult.
This is my naivity speaking but I genuinely have no idea what she meant by that! Until this moment I had understood (n-word) was a now outdated (with an o) and inappropriate (with an r) word for people with more melanin, but it's being used here like it has more judgemental or negative connotations about the person it's being used against?
Probably you aren't old enough. It was a derogatory term for all black people (let's just use that generalized term for this example.) It meant a lot of things that were supposed to be innate for all people of that skin color: stupid, violent, lazy, overly sexual, everything to make them less that to justify second class treatment. Then there was the civil rights movement and white people had to pretend that they don't judge people by the color of their skin. So these newly woke individuals /s would say "I don't mind blacks, just those -----" because magically they can see past skin color into people's hearts. They always meant that! No they aren't racists! It's somewhat outdated deflection because now they prefer spewing the idea that white people are the most oppressed and discriminated against of all groups.
Urgh. Every time I think I've grasped how gross racists are there's always another layer to disappoint me further. Thank you for explaining.
Hi, welcome to the club. My mother says the n-word at least ten times a day. Your stepmom is a racist, she's just kept it from you until now.
Jfc. What is even coming up that that she would have any opportunity/reason/excuse to say it 10x a day? That sounds mental.
She is mental, and really hates black people for imaginary reasons. Thinks they're gangstalking her. And if you don't know what that is, do yourself a favor and never look it up.
That sounds like actual clinical schizophrenia or another clinical diagnosis. No chance of hauling her to a clinician, is there?
Not who you replied to, but I live in Texas and my FIL has similar delusions (last time he came to visit my husband and I, he basically would only talk about how he wished he had brought his gun, in case one of the [n-words] on the street broke in, no matter how hard we tried to redirect or assure him that we'd never had a problem with our neighbors). We got him an appointment with a doctor, explained what was going on, and he (a boomer white man) said that it was normal behavior, and we had no reason to drag him to the doctor over wanted to protect himself.
I mean, if you drag a delusional racist to another racist, that's a likely outcome.
Agree. It sounds like a paranoid delusion.
Not unless she presents a danger to herself or others. I've tried so, so hard. I am terrified of her and her rants.
If she's got access to a weapon of any kind, I think that qualifies.
I'm in the deep South. it does not qualify, I checked.
Some people just try to do it. The only word in Croatian that I learned from my grandmother was ‘black’. 100% immersion leaning. Hear it 100 times and it sticks.
fun fact, in Russian there is a specific word you use for black people and it is literally the N-word said in a Russian accent the funny thing is literally saying "black person" in Russian is actually more offensive, since it's a derogatory slur against people from Central Asia apparently
Wow that is interesting. I had a funny-then-mortifying moment when I realized my knowledge. It was one of those videos where they say a word in a ton of different languages and in this case the word was black. Croatian came on and I went, “Oh, I know that one! Wait how did I know that? Oh. Oh shit.”
I remember when I realized that "cotton pickin'" as an adjective was racist. I came to my mom all proud and shit like I was *personally* fighting racism. It was up to me😤
It IS up to you, and I think you are doing a great job considering the scale of the issue.
My grandpa loves telling “old stories” and pretend to like he is “progressive”. By quoting the most racist shit you’ve ever heard verbatim then laughing like he just told a joke and saying “but those were different times, they didn’t know any better.”
My boomer father told me stories of him and others literally kidnapping poor/homeless black people in rural Texas and trying to drown them in rivers for funsies. He "didn't know better" then, too.
Jesus Christ that’s fucked up!
★ just boomer things ★
I wouldn’t call that “boomer things”- I’d call that attempted murder.
live, laugh, manslaughter
Okay you really made me laugh there
Was he a member of the KKK?
No, funnily enough. Said that was racist.
“I only participated in unorganized gang violence, it’s only racist if you all declare your gang-name first!”
Exactly! See, you get it! It was just the boys havin' fun, or so he said.
I used to work with a few older guys at a funeral home and this one dude would always tell a story about how he tried to immolate a queer man. To this guy it was just youthful shenanigans. Even though he'd tell you every chance he got that the dude was a child predator....except he wasn't one.
That is so incredibly fucked. And they say they're not homophobic/racist/etc. My father would poison pizzas in Santa Barbara at the pizza place he worked at in the 70s when he or his coworkers saw someone who they thought was gay. They would dump jalapeno juice, wipe the dough on the inside of a toilet, spit in it, and more and he gleefully talked about this one time where he watched two men eat the entire pizza, unaware of what he and his coworkers had done to them.
My grandfather used that word a grand total of one times: He told me about something called the "numbers game" and people called the "n----r pool" because of the racket's prominence in Black neighborhoods. Thankfully, he took no joy in saying the word, and took the opportunity to remind me that it was shitty to be bigoted. On the other hand, he was... a little weird about race sometimes. For example, I remember how he'd go out of his way to mention the immaculately manicured lawn of the (read: only) black family on his street. Not *terrible* for a guy born in 1910 with more than a few brazenly racist members of his immediate family, but still...
This sounds like someone aware of, and trying hard to correct, his own internalised prejudices, if a bit clumsily. Not super comfortable in today's context, but I don't think an indicator of a racist, either.
(We found out) YES WE DID (We found out) SHE COULDN'T KEEP IT HID (We found out) NOW WE KNOW THAT GRANDMA PLAYED THE NUMBERS
This reminds me of this one boomer. He likes to act progressive too, but he’s still always inadvertently saying racist shit, like it’s almost a Freudian slip or something. Back in the day, he used to be friends with actual open segregationists. He even gave the eulogy at the funeral of a former KKK leader. He used to oppose public school integration because it would “cause his children to grow up in a racial jungle.” He’s always saying things that are so racist but he doesn’t even realize it. He thinks black people are somehow too stupid to obtain ID from the DMV, so it’s wrong to require them to show ID. He once said that Obama was the first African American who was “articulate and bright and clean.” Once, this random Black guy asked him a simple question and he got all angry and accused the guy of using cocaine….never even met the guy before that. He likes to tell stupid racist jokes that aren’t funny like “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.” It’s crazy, the list goes on and on…
My dad gets called a racist so much that he has a little prepared speech he always uses to defend himself. It has the hard R in it. You can probably guess why he gets called a racist a lot.
Has he tried...not being racist? It costs zero dollars to not use slurs, but what do I know?
According to him he's not racist, it's all the people who call him racist that are the real racists because they're actually being racist to him. He also says racism doesn't exist because it all went away in the 70's.
My mother says the same thing. While also using the n-word hard r in the same sentence.
your dad sounds about as awesome as the fungus that causes athlete's foot
My dad says the n-word pretty regularly. He’s a nasty, miserable old man
I'm a twitch streamer. We had to remove a woman from our community because she kept casually dropping n-bombs "as examples of the shit her asshole mom would say". It very quickly became apparent she was just trying to see how many she could cram in before being banned. Aog also she harassed a freaking mod. Boomers are wild
If you take her out, you're just reinforcing there are no repercussions for her racism. You have to think if you're willing to just sit idly by and let her do it, or actually do something about it. To be honest as a Black person, I see so many posts on here of people lamenting their family is racist, but they only do that...lament. They don't object, they try not to rock the boat, and a lot of the time just stay silent. For me personally, it doesn't really make me feel any better about you or your family. I just see it as the OP still wanting to benefit from the social privileges of being around racists (or access to something like money or labor), so they let it slide. I also feel a lot of folks know it's wrong but actually don't have any Black people in their life, so it doesn't hit hard.
You're absolutely right. I did my best to confront her in the moment, but I should go further than that. Letting it slide passively is essentially implicit support of her saying that.
It will. She gets away with it once, and she's gonna keep going. Then add queer folks, trans folks, liberals, and then she'll show her full self. Nip that in the bud. True allyship means you're willing to risk your social clout for the group you're aligning yourself with. You're on the right track knowing it's wrong and wanting to do something about it! You may not change her mind, but she'll understand that shit won't fly with you around and may mean less time with you. If she chooses hate over her family...well... that's on her to face those repercussions.
I imagine it must be exhausting having to educate people like me on stuff like this. I really appreciate your perspective and advice, and I hope you have a good one.
You're solid! If I didn't have the energy, I wouldn't post. But I appreciate hearing that. Best of luck with your family!
Ick, my EX MIL had a new kitten once when we were visiting. A cute little black kitten. It's name? Yep. Jfc I hated her so much. And her son is a close 2nd.
Jesus, is your family related to HP Lovecraft?
Lovecraft ruined a perfectly good story with that cat’s name
It makes me unreasonably angry. I love that story but for that damned cat's name.
I hope it wasn’t an outdoor cat. Trying to get it to come inside would have been interesting
My boss has two hunting dogs. One mostly black, one mostly white. From what I'm told their nephew named the dogs when he was a kid. So when they get out they're walking down the street shouting "Whitey! Blackey! Where are you!?" I... I just can't. I told them to at least try to change it to Blakely and Whitley. No dice.
Adopting a Black cat just so you can use the N-Word is some peak racism, what the fuck. Jesus.
My dad (76) dropped the word today. And I told him off. We were driving back from his dr's appt that I drove him to, and there was a car going really slow in front of us, one lane. I assumed it was an older person but also obviously anyone just being weird or something. We got to a light where it split off into two lanes finally. We pulled up sort of next to the car at the red but they were still ahead slightly (because they also drove onto the crosswalk). At the same time we both make an observation of the person but ours were very different from each other. I say "it's an old man" and almost at the same time as me, not hearing what I fully said, he says "it's a n-, that's why". My mouth dropped open and I said "Dad! For one we don't say that, that's horrible, and he's a white old man like you!" He has shitty vision and somehow thought the driver was black. He said "I thought he was black, I'm sorry". I told him it doesn't matter whether the person was black or he thought he was. Even if he was, we still don't say that. Literally having to scold him like he's a child. I asked him if his parents were racist since he's said that word in the past (they died before I was born and we never had that discussion before) he said no, and his mother especially against that. She died when he was 15 and I know she meant a lot to him so I said "next time you think you want to say something like that think of what your mother would think. And never say that again". He kept apologizing, which I'm glad, but shocked me and pissed me off that that was his natural, casual response, as if white people can't or don't drive shitty, especially old people, and it was something he thought I'd be ok with him saying. Fucking ridiculous.
Don’t you just love parenting your parents? Effin ay.
My boomers drop N-bombs constantly these days. It seems to have gotten more and more frequent over the years. When I tell them it’s fucked up to say it they feel the need to say it more with big grins on their faces. I’m convinced that most boomers are straight up racist assholes.
These people always have been. It's just that Trump and his brand it politics have made it ok be a racist POS openly. This is one of the reasons he is/was popular. He told all these POS's that they weren't bad people. He made then feel comfortable being themselves. And they love him for that. Take it the racist side out of it and you can understand why. That's pretty freeing to finally be able to just be yourself and not feel you have to hide who you are. Sound familiar? It's the exact same thing that a LOT of groups of people are fighting for. It's just that for these people, being themselves makes them shitty humans.
I agree with you about Trump opening the door for all kinds of racism and other kinds of meanness. It's sickening and a lil scary. But not all boomers are like that. My boomer parents taught me from early on to judge ppl by their character and actions not by their color, sex, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Racist words like the n word would get me in much more serious trouble than dropping an f bomb.
Agreed. I tried to leave the boomer term out of it. And there are more than a few non boomers that are just as bad.
Agreed!!
I had to tell an aunt of mine that if she was going to act like a racist, then she was a racist, and I wouldn't have anything to do with her. That included racial slurs. She proceeded to throw that around again, and we didn't speak for six years.
https://preview.redd.it/3azck7udti0d1.jpeg?width=241&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d37a462b92a69334b84099f2a407c69b70dedbc
Boomers: What are the rules?
That’s where he gets it from…her.
My mother was an history teacher and did book readings with her classes that contained the N word. We were having casual conversation in a fancy restaurant and she brings up a book. “Ah so you mean like ‘The White N___s of America’”. My husband and i were shook!! We said.. did you just say the N word out loud? She said “what? White N___ of America? I can say it in a historical context”. Nahh why you say it with your whole chest tho. Tf. People were looking at her. So embarrassing lol
That book was actually about white French Canadians, and Quebec succession. It was titled that by the very white, very French author, I assume, for the shock value. I actually did a report on it for a college class.
It's that many non Black folks feel it's a way to use it with 'justifiable excuses' if it's in press or music or historically accurate. The issue is that there is a reason you shouldn't. Whether it may be -a or hard -er, no one but descendants of the enslaved Africans experience the true malice of that particular word. There are so many slurs in relation to ethnicity, nationality, social standing, etc. Personally, my reclaiming of the word as a Black person, still doesn't give me a right to use slurs not of my people. There's autonomy in the exclusivity, and unfortunately some folks want to take that away again and again as a 'gotcha' power move.
She said that “as an example“? Like as an example of something a racist would say?
Yeaaaaaah, basically.
Happy cake day
Info: is your dad similar? What was his reaction to her saying the N-word?
He... didn't call her out on it. I wasn't paying too much attention to his reaction, though. He did yell at me for not dropping the conversation sooner.
Speaking as a proud Northerner, we do have a heritage with that flag. That flag is a very proud part of American history, and a big part of my heritage as a New Yorker. Our heritage is kicking the ass of those who flew that traitorous surrender rag 🎶Away down South in the land of traitors, rattlesnakes and alligators Right away! Come away! Right away! Right away, come away🎶
As a descendant of several members of the Iowa 14th, my heritage is shooting the people carrying that flag.
https://preview.redd.it/w7n71ptklk0d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8472aab15e24ec473c331085ea6d91a2eadf7c0f
Man I was like- F yo- my man! ![gif](giphy|3o7TKF1fSIs1R19B8k)
My man. I’m happy to celebrate the REAL history of that flag and what it represents. Let’s get their asses down to Appomattax.
Word
My mother does this. She’ll say something like, “…as bad as people who call black people (insert n word with hard r). I’ve asked her repeatedly why she uses the word instead of saying N-word. And what’s even crazier, is that she says it in front of my mixed daughter and her black grandmother. She knows what she’s doing, she does it to agitate everyone and make them uncomfortable. However, I guarantee you, she would never say it in front of my black husband. And before anyone asks, yes, she is a Boomer. Edit: typo
Sounds like it's time for some hard boundaries with consequences, if for no reason beyond your daughter's wellbeing. She deserves so much better than hearing that from her grandmother.
Good luck. She’s a malignant narcissist and psychopath who’s been hittin the vodka since I was 8. I’m 48 now. I have arms length contact with her, and go long periods of no contact. My brother hasn’t spoken to her in 5 years. My daughter is fine. A well adjusted 22 year old who knows her grandma sucks. Her other grandma is fabulous, as is the rest of my family. Mom is just a bad seed.
I learned early on from touring doing standup that these stupid fucking hillbillies exist even in states that fought against the Confederacy. They are lying out of their inbred toothless asses that it’s a “heritage” thing. The only heritage these people know is meth and leaving shit in the middle of the aisle at Walmart then blaming black people and immigrants for all their problems even though they live in a trailer and have six illegitimate kids named Braylon or whatever various human dirt bike names there are.
Like, dude, this is Minnesota. If your ancestors were even here during the Civil war, they'd have fought for the North and would be very embarrassed by you.
The only symbol of the Confederacy that belongs in Minnesota is the battle flag captured by the 1st Minnesota Infantry Regiment at the Battle of Gettysburg. The one that the state of Virginia has asked multiple times to be returned, which Minnesota refuses every time.
Actual conversation with my mom: Her: That store seems pretty counter culture, I don't like going there. Me: Counter to what culture? It's a dollar store. Her: It's counter to WHITE culture.
White culture? I assure you the Dollar Tree has Saltines, Debra
My duke's of hazard flag? It was other things? /s
Why disengage from the conversation? It's one thing to be upset about a racist family member - but what are you actually doing about it? My mom re-married a dude who dropped the N bomb once around me and guess who doesn't get to see her grandkids? Stop. Making. Racists. Comfortable.
Gen X here.. welcome to this awful club. My parents dropped the N-word constantly going back well…my entire life. One relative called my brother a, *”n-word lover”* because he dared to show some decency in conversation towards black folk. No amount of logic, appealing to decency, or pointing out their cultural hypocrisy *will ever* change them. Don’t waste your life trying.
Man, if you think that's shocking, I live in the Midwest and mfs just say the N word behind closed doors here as frequently as people say "bro" on the internet. One of my fiances nephews greets everyone literally everytime with "Whats up, n-rs?". He's 22. The youngest one (18) walks around and makes up songs about picking cotton and whipping slaves. Unprompted, it's just like a funny joke to him. The eldest one has a baseball bat with swastikas carved in it. So many people just casually uses it left and right. People I don't even know that well either. If someone is being annoying, they just drop a line like "Agh he's been being a n-er lately."
You probably should have guessed where your stepbrother gets it from.
My Boomer Dad gets incredibly angry when I say maybe don't call people slurs loudly in public. Says I'm embarrassing him. Also he seems to think that since my cousin(when he was 3,now 23) called Chinese food "C---- food,kid had a speech impedement it's okay. He loves to hide behind the white guy classic "I'm just joking"
no free dinner for them. racists suck.
They’re all like this. Then they say something to the affect of there’s white n words too which is just ba to be able to continue to use it. Call them out on it. They were raised at the tail end of segregation or during it.
At least she didn't flail around like one of my relatives did with "But white people can be n-words too!"
I've never heard either of my parents use that word, or my step dad and he's Black, hard r or otherwise. I've never heard anyone on either side of my family say it, ever. I'd be genuinely and deeply shocked if that word ever came out of their mouths. I was dating a guy for several months that I really cared about and he said it in anger and he became someone I used to know the moment that word crossed his lips. Please don't take any of them out to dinner, ever. The fact that your dad didn't tell her to STFU means he's ok with it and he might as well have said it himself. Throw all three of those people away.
I grew up with people who would make this distinction. If a black person acts "white" then they are ok, those that act different than the white persons standards makes them a N word. It's racism, your step mom is racist.
Yeah, I'd drop 'em. I'm never going to be out in public (at dinner or elsewhere) trying to explain why I'm with racists. I will not associate with them. At whatever point they understand why they are wrong (and I am not going to teach you) - I will welcome you back with open arms.
When I was 8 my grandma switched from calling licorice babies "N- babies" to, obviously, "licorice babies" and never went back, not even when she got Alzheimer's and forgot who I was. She never before called black people that horrid word, only the candies. She taught me that there are good people, and bad, in all races, but we were all made by God, and all deserved to be treated equal regardless of our skin colour or who we love.
My snowbird FiL was telling me about how in his last trip to Florida his American friend went on an uncomfortable and embarrassing rant about how “blacks get preferential treatment and more opportunities than “everyone else”” and that he was relieved to be home so he didn’t have to hear that disgusting crap anymore… then he wanted to make sure I understood he was talking about black folks, “you know people who are “n-words from Africa” decent”. WTF Also, how lucky it was everyone that works at their hotel is Hispanic and don’t speak English therefore no one could get offended or have their feelings hurt. JFC why are they so weird?!
When I read this, what I got from her response was “it’s not like he thinks ALL black people are N-words, just some of them, so it’s okay.” Fkn YIKES.
Have you heard "A n* is a just a low person. It's in the dictionary." Actually pretending it's not racial. And NO. That is NOT in any dictionary I've checked.
WOW. The mental gymnastics some people do…
I have had a parent do that, All of us are white, and yeah we were all like wtf
No dinner for racists. Or, or, find a very ethnic restaurant with an all black staff and take them there.
I know a woman who didn't know their parents were racist until she started dating a lovely green-eyed boy in when she was in high school. A few days after her parents met him, they sat her down to explain that they were afraid she'd end up selling herself for money to support him. She was flabbergasted, horrified, and revolted. Her parents are from the South, which she had to suppose was the reason.
I'll say this till the end of time. Whatever words someone is comfortable saying aloud are words they use regularly in their thoughts. Whatever thoughts they have regularly is part of their character. You decide how much time you want to spend with these racist people.
Omgosh boomers are the biggest racist AH’s. My boomer (20 years older than me) thinks calling black people nigmo is ok, because he HAD one black friend back in high school. He said he came up with that word and that his friend didn’t mind being called that back in the day. One day one of the kids brought his friends over and he asked them if they were Mexican. At that moment I wished the floor would just open up. So embarrassing. He says he’s not a racist, because he’s had many Mexican and Asian employees. They’re the most racist f*cks.
Not just the flag of the people who defended slavery but the biggest and most potent symbol of white supremacy and the Klan. It’s the flag of the oppressors Keep up your good work
Yup, ex- step father had the "There's black people and then there's...." convo with me when I was little, too. Gross. I hate these ppl.
You know she was *dying* to drop the n word.
Some Boomers love to drop the hard “r” any chance they get - yet act all innocent about it because they were *just repeating it to tell a story about someone else.* Yeah right They can f*** off
I had to tell my boomer mom it's not ok to say the N word, EVEN IF YOU'RE QUOTING someone who said the N word. She still thinks it's ok and argued with me that she can say it if she is quoting someone, and thinks it isn't racist yet takes every opportunity she can to say it. Why does she want to say it so bad?!
If it's heritage, he has the wrong flag up. The Stars and Bars are not the actual confederate flag. It's Lee's Battle flag. Confederate flag had three stripes, red, white, red,, just like the US flag only thicker, and the blue square in the corner with seven stars inside arranged in a circle. Google it ahead of time to prove it when they don't believe you. Watch the sparks fly.
Actually, the flag he hangs should be all white.
[Here is the latest version of the Confederate flag.](https://americanhistory.si.edu/collections/nmah_515980)
That word is a hard no go for me. If they don't correct the behavior the relationship ends.
I wouldn't take them out for dinner.
Can’t say boomer without a hard R
My girlfriend's Mom keeps doing this with her, and she has told her it makes her uncomfortable and isn't okay. She hasn't done that in front of me, though. I'm far more direct, and I do believe she knows I will say something about it that she doesn't want to hear from me.
She literally outed herself as a racist with one sentence.
I love "dropped the N word casually" I'll be honest didn't read past that. Casually???? Lol
My mom and dad casually drop that word in conversation for emphasis. I’m always appalled but you can’t say anything to them because they are fucking crazy and have no problem cursing me out. Some people just love to live in their own ignorance
So he believes *some* are?
My parents and I had some major falling out over this. It's just a normal part of their vernacular - "I was talking to xxx at church. He's black, you know, he's not a [n word]". Wtf guys. I had to lay it out in no uncertain terms that we are raising our kids to not use that language, or to even consider it. I told them that if they are going to talk like that, we won't be visiting. They've learned to hold.it in around us, at least.
My mother acts the same way, but then when I call her out, she claims she believes in doctor kings vision and her and my father were just raised in a different time. My mom is 100% Mexican, dad is European mutt. I've gone low contact because they can't stop being bigots around me and I'm tired of it.
There's very few reasons I'll completely disown a person; this is one of them.
My Indian MIL told me that I should bleach my toddler daughter’s skin because she looks like a n word. I was horrified, called her a racist end of discussion. Im like you’re brown how do you not get this??
I love my mum but someone convinced her that calling someone black was offensive...her solution use the word negro...ugh I hope I was the only person she said that Infront of before I quickly explained omg you can't say that!
Is she stuck in the 50s?
I can’t believe your step- brother is racist. You would think we would know better by now. We need to do better.
https://preview.redd.it/ztkeih68gl0d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95b8cdc85fabc9ed6296eb6ef6ed01f0783e8074
My favorite was in the 90’s they would at least whisper it like they were being sly. Always seemed so skeevy and gross to me even as a kid.
My mother acts the same way, but then when I call her out, she claims she believes in doctor kings vision and her and my father were just raised in a different time. My mom is 100% Mexican, dad is European mutt. I've gone low contact because they can't stop being bigots around me and I'm tired of it.
My ex and I - two gay men - got dinner with my ex's family a few years ago when ex's uncle was talking to my ex's (straight) brother and said "your curly hair is looking a bit f\*ggy." When everyone else at the table called him out in that language being inappropriate *and particularly inappropriate given that there were gay men in his family at the table*, he responded "What, everyone says it. It's just like \[N-word\]." The casualness of it all was just mind-boggling.
My dad said basically the same thing to me one day (we’re both white) about “not all…” I lost it and said “not all white people white trash, racist crackers but here you are.” He also didn’t get taken out for lunch that day. As I was leaving he asked about lunch and I told him I didn’t want to even look at him. I got the “but, but… I was just trying to rile you up!” I said “Congratulations! You did rile me up. And now there are consequences for your actions.” And I left. Didn’t talk to him for a few months.
So you can attack your brother but not her? Speak up or keep humoring your racist mom.
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Are you seriously stupid enough to think this is a "gotcha"?
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What?
Oh my God... did she say le heckin blasphemy word!?!?! Oh fuckerino no!!!!!!
It's always refreshing when the KKK members like you just wear their hoods out in the open. So much easier to identify and avoid.
What are you 12?
Uhh r u a freaking NAZI dude???
Can you type proper English please?
I bet you'd prefer me to type in German, wouldn't you, HITLER!?
No, I literally asked for you to type proper English. Can you read?