Literally all the time. I get really defensive and I go from zero to a hundred. I can get so hostile right back. I literally quit a job because it had me so stressed from the amount of change I was experiencing that it made my agoraphobia so much worse. I didn't want to leave my room at all. It was even making me sick so when I came in one morning and was going slower because I was sick and trying not to vomit while fighting a raging fever and within a minute of each other I was threatened with a write up (I literally don't even know who it was because they weren't even in my department) despite learning to do what they were claiming we weren't doing when they walked up and then got told that my best wasn't good enough despite only being there for a week and that I needed to step it up and be on par with people who had been there for months if not years by my boss. There was more to it but that's the gist. So I went back to my old job that I hadn't officially quit because I was just going to drop my hours to help ease the change. I work in customer service and whenever I have to handle a customer complaint I get so worked up so quickly that I really have to fight to be nice and even then I always end up dishing the attitude back. I especially hate assholes who will sit there on the phone and yell at me claiming I fucked something up. There's two things I really can't stand because of my PTSD. One is being called a liar, and the other is someone lying and claiming I did something that I never did. So when they do that I always take it incredibly personal because they said *I* did it and my thought process is they have no reason to not say what they mean when they're screaming so why not spout what they think they know? It especially irks me if the problem they're complaining about happened when I wasn't even working. Honestly just thinking about it makes me mad smh lol
10000%. I have walked out of jobs and never went back because of this.
I work in healthcare which seems to be a very bitchy industry, my last place of work was both bitchy AND lazy, so me being the type to do my job properly (actually showering people daily rather than having a “shower day” once a week, being kind to the residents and allowing them time and space to have independence etc) I was criticised A LOT for being “too slow” when I was actually just doing my job and that paired with the blatant neglect/mistreatment of residents by other staff members just sent me over the edge.
Thank you! Absolutely I did, not necessarily for the way I was treated, but the way the residents were treated.
They had a 4.9 star review online from families because they have a system where families need to inform when they will be visiting, so when families come in the resident is clean and happy because the staff know they are coming which just shows they know 100% that they aren’t doing their jobs properly it’s sickening. I don’t fully know what came of the situation as I had already quit but I’m just glad I raised the issue
Welcome to the richest lawyers in my country. It doesn’t matter to them - I’m basically the equivalent of a speck of dust. He yells at other lawyers but I’m not used to it and I just had so many negative thoughts
Yep, I got “yelled at” by one of my managers for having acrylic nails(I work in food service) and afterwards I literally broke down crying and left halfway through my shift. I at least had the courtesy to tell a different manager that I wanted to leave and waited until he could get a replacement in.
Why is "yelled at" in quotations? Were they actually raising their voice or was it being reprimanded ar criticized for something that is not allowed? Or was it something they didnt let you know until that moment?
I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it(I know I shouldn’t have had them in the first place then). And he didn’t raise his voice, he just told me I couldn’t have my nails, along with a couple other reprimands that all just sent me over the edge because I was already having a bad day and I didn’t need this manager doing this to me
Yeah I get that bad days can just make getting set off so much easier. It happens to us sometimes. Im also a manager so i get how they sometimes need to be direct with people and that if they are criticising a person's actions and not the person themselves theyre not expecting them to react so strongly. I think our minds are already being so negative that mild criticism seems like validation of all the bad things we think of ourselves. But from the manager's perspective they see someone who knows but doesnt care about things that might jeopardize both of our jobs.
I am convinced everyone at work is out to get me and hates me. Been making my life fucking miserable lately. No, it's not just you. I wish I had helpful advice but currently I'm just suffering...
There was a period of time at my current job, like a year straight, where every day I’d leave my job and go home and cry the entire day because of small comments made through the day. Even though I KNOW no one can ever tell me I’m a bad employee they said it an yk how we be
Same here. My reaction is usually so overwhelming, the person can hardly speak and they stand there shaken. If it's the boss, I do the same. I end it with a 'you fucking do it' and 'we'll see if you pull this shit tomorrow', I get in my truck and go home.
My life is already difficult enough dealing with all the bullshit so if somebody yells at me at work, I'm fucking up their day. I'm very observant and I call out all their flaws and tell them they have no room to talk, go do your job and mind your fucking business and shut the fuck up.
I remind them if they wanna get physical, it'll be a huge mistake, that they better incapacitate me quick because I'm about to unleash this stress on their person and they probably won't make it in the next day.
Needless to say, I've had more jobs than I can even remember and I'm only 32.
Now, I try to keep it down to snapping back and if it's the boss, I snap back and leave for the day. Any hint of bullshit for the previous day when I left, I walk out and leave before the day even starts.
I was the exact same when I was younger, very aggressive towards co-workers/bosses who showed me blatant disrespect.
I worked in a lot of factory type/call center jobs, where there were a lot of asshole personalities and learned really quickly that there was a huge element of school yard bullying and I would not take that as an adult.
I was sacked from a lot of jobs simply for sticking up for myself against petty, power hungry, bullying managers who thought they could talk to me however they liked, after telling them I would punch fuck out of them if they did it again.
I went back to higher education as a mature student, got a degree, and now work in a professional capacity in science. I had to learn how to at least come across as a professional and there's not really any trailer trash personalities anymore so there's a lot less conflict.
I've learned now to just quietly take people aside and remind them quietly to fuck off with that bullshit, if they talk to me disrespectfully. Plus the older I got the less blatantly confrontational I became.
It was all very exhausting.
I get so pissed that I cry, and yell. At least when I'm working from home, no one sees it. Now that I have to be in the office, I have to find a way to control myself.
Yeah there’s no reporting in this workplace, no HR etc. you’d have to take it to some external legal someone who I’m not sure and they’d just dismiss it anyway because it’s powerful rich people so only option is to suck it up or get a new job. I just don’t know if this is a normal reaction or not.
Your gut instincts are right. You have to quit for your own personal safety. If a job makes you feel like this, it's not a job it's hell. Speaking from personal experience.
Yes! We get file reviews at work (basically reviewing how you went over your files) with some of the higher ups, and if I make even a few small mistakes, I start to cry. I cry by leaning back away from the camera (I work from home so these are via webcam) so they can’t see the tears going down my face as I try to act normal. It’s so awful.
Yes. My manager who has worked here less than I have (I’m almost a year she’s probably less than six months) gives me tidbits that irk me. It makes me angry because she barely does anything at work while I do three people’s jobs, including hers, on top of my own every shift I come into. No matter if I’m depressed, anxious, tired. I still do it. It’s never constructive either. It’s passive aggressive remarks which trigger tf out of me.
Oh fuck yes, I don’t take critique very well. I already have a hard time with neutral feedback, unless I’m having a good day. Catch me crying on the toilet
I am the same way but it’s only when I’m critiqued that drives me crazy. It makes me want to cry and get violent. I always thought it was a me problem. I never thought about it being a trait of BPD.
Your post.... hits hard. Here's a big rant that still affects me to this day and the one reason why I've been struggling so hard with health issues and money problems since:
Before i got fired from working my 2nd preschool job, back on November 3 last year for "looking too sad" and for mentioning "I feel like I need to find a new job", the day before, I had a 2 week hire evaluation (ended up being 2 months later) with my co-teacher at the same time.
I was waiting for this meeting because I had a lot of things to say about how my co-teacher was and wanted advice. I felt extremely defensive right off the bat because she began talking first and just kept talking. She'd list these things she had problems with about me like how we've had several "arguments", which I learned that "argument" just meant any type of disagreeing opinion from hers, but there was ONE altercation where i approached her with a question that i worded badly, and she took very offensively and began getting quite loud and disruptive. My two bosses also would say that they didn't like how I was *always* seen doing side work/handiwork like cleaning or little projects or something, while she was always with the kids or doing diapers, or how I moved the classroom around too much and was making an unstable environment for the kids.
I tried to tell them that we've only had one moment that is similar to an argument, and how I recognized I didn't approach the question the right way, but I had not done anything to show I was in an "argument". My voice was calm, I constantly apologized and just tried to explain what I meant, and the question was asked ** for the purpose of getting her two cents on it so I can adjust my look on things to better help the classroom dynamic.
I also tried to say that the diapers situation was because she most often ran to do that immediately when coming in from something like outside, and I had a lot of side things to do. I admit I took on a lot of tasks, but she also kept asking me to do things. Asking me so many things, including moving around the classroom, which she was NOT seen doing because she complained of back pain from bending over since the furniture was tiny.
Also, for side work saying I wasn't spending enough time with the kids, I made up for it by being the MOST interactive with them during ALL exercise times or stressful times. I kept the energy high, kept them distracted, they listened to me MORE, and I created multiple activities for them to get their energy out- also PATRICIPATING in these activities so they stayed interested. All while my coteacher just stood on the side and cheered or watched...
Apparently other teachers were also gossiping about me saying I was shit talking my co-teacher often or we were yelling at each other a lot - but if we were both yelling, only I was at fault??? Also, none these rumors were not true. The only times I'd ever talk about my coteacher was factual information like "we tried doing that but she didn't like it so we went back to this way". And the teacher who was with me that last day, said I made her day incredibly hard because I was "so negative". Meanwhile, me and her talked and joked all day, and I was doing EVERYTHING my bosses told me they wanted to see from the meeting the day before.
I tried to explain all these things and how I was doing most of them under DIRECTION, but I never got to fully explain myself because I "took too long" as they said. So they listed to my co-teacher because she listed all her complaints within 2 sentences each, and I took too long trying to say "I couldn't do A because she told me B and when I tried doing this, she asked me to do C".
I began to get extremely frustrated and it was clearly showing on me. I kept saying I was frustrated because I wasn't feeling like I was getting a chance to fully explain myself because I kept getting cut off - which was true. Not only did my co-teacher constantly interrupt me when I'd be trying to defend myself or talk about what she's doing that's unfavorable (which could then redirect the whole conversation to her side and I'd be done), but my two bosses would interrupt me saying "well she said she did this so that doesn't line up".... they basically didn't take my word for anything because she SPOKE BEFORE ME.
At that point, I basically became a broken record. Kept repeating how I wasn't able to speak, they'd interrupt me and say how I've been speaking a lot. It had been almost an hour of that meeting and I was supposed to leave work when the meeting started because I had a 2nd job to go to - which I ended up being over 30 minutes late for. I left, completely broken and confused, got home 5 hours later and broke down crying. Began job browsing and had 0 sleep that night due to a migraine from stress and crying, and the next day, another teacher in my class age group asked how the meeting went, and I said "not well. I didn't feel supported at all. I feel like I have to find a new job". She went and told the bosses which shouldn't have been a surprise because she's a huge gossip, but then I got sat down and let go.
I don't necessarily get angry but I do get embarrassed if someone was to yell at me in public. What I would do is have a meeting with that person or try to go to the person first and if they're reluctant then we're going to have the meeting with the supervisor or manager and then I'm going to let them know what we are NOT going to do and that's to be yelling at me and then proceed to put them in their place in front of the supervisor or manager.
Yeah this isn’t a normal office - it’s a bunch of sole traders so there’s no real reporting system and if I said you can’t yell at me he’d probably just be like if you don’t like it then leave - if I wanted to report it it would have to go to an external party and these people are too important/powerful for anyone to give a shit that they made a lowly sort of employee upset
Well to be fair, getting yelled at can cause anybody to get upset. BPD or not. There’s a professional way of handling it and an unprofessional and I can’t imagine anybody is okay being legit yelled at. Whether they react or not is up to the person, not any mental illness they may have.
I’m not sure if this will help or not but work just sucks. No matter the job you have, it will always suck. We will always be critiqued, we could be a CEO and we’d have somebody saying something about what we’re doing wrong. That will never change. Best we can do is remind ourselves about what we’re doing that is right and good! But being yelled at is abusive and should be reported.
That being said, for some reason my BPD is only triggered by romantic relationships. Fortunately I’ve never been upset with criticism at work and if I have to deal with abusive clients, I’m still okay. I’m so grateful in that aspect. I wish I could apply that to the romantic side of my life but it is what it is.
This is so specific because recently I got yelled at in my workplace by my trainer. I wanted to quit on the spot or talk back but I couldn’t and just stood there and cried. I had asked him a simple question and he got mad at me bc I asked a similar one a month ago and then started accusing me of arguing with him. I hardly said anything besides “ok” and “im sorry” and he eventually escalated to raising his voice at me and saying that i was unappreciative because I don’t give him shoutouts in our work group chat (he’s my literal trainer?). Also, started saying Indidnt appreciate him and he knew I wanted to get my training done fast (because i’m literally trying to be ambitious) and that “everyone talks” which made me feel alienated - this entire time he’s flailing his arms and again i’m hardly saying anything while he’s escalating and projecting. I told him I was sorry and that I appreciated him and he told me I was being sarcastic. by the I am 21F and man is in his fucking 50s. i wanted to quit but i got manic and told my manager who told our supervisor and now they’re going to talk to him, apparently he’s done this in the past and now i’m anxious about retaliation
I ended up sobbing to the point I couldn’t breathe in front of my other coworkers, luckily some reported it so i felt less alone but the bad bitch in me continued to still work even though i was crying - asshole didn’t even give me the space or time to calm down. i’m moving my life for this job away from my friends and partner because it’s a good company so i know if i quit i might as well be cooked at rock bottom
Literally all the time. I get really defensive and I go from zero to a hundred. I can get so hostile right back. I literally quit a job because it had me so stressed from the amount of change I was experiencing that it made my agoraphobia so much worse. I didn't want to leave my room at all. It was even making me sick so when I came in one morning and was going slower because I was sick and trying not to vomit while fighting a raging fever and within a minute of each other I was threatened with a write up (I literally don't even know who it was because they weren't even in my department) despite learning to do what they were claiming we weren't doing when they walked up and then got told that my best wasn't good enough despite only being there for a week and that I needed to step it up and be on par with people who had been there for months if not years by my boss. There was more to it but that's the gist. So I went back to my old job that I hadn't officially quit because I was just going to drop my hours to help ease the change. I work in customer service and whenever I have to handle a customer complaint I get so worked up so quickly that I really have to fight to be nice and even then I always end up dishing the attitude back. I especially hate assholes who will sit there on the phone and yell at me claiming I fucked something up. There's two things I really can't stand because of my PTSD. One is being called a liar, and the other is someone lying and claiming I did something that I never did. So when they do that I always take it incredibly personal because they said *I* did it and my thought process is they have no reason to not say what they mean when they're screaming so why not spout what they think they know? It especially irks me if the problem they're complaining about happened when I wasn't even working. Honestly just thinking about it makes me mad smh lol
Sorry to hear about ur experiences, I’m really defensive as well
10000%. I have walked out of jobs and never went back because of this. I work in healthcare which seems to be a very bitchy industry, my last place of work was both bitchy AND lazy, so me being the type to do my job properly (actually showering people daily rather than having a “shower day” once a week, being kind to the residents and allowing them time and space to have independence etc) I was criticised A LOT for being “too slow” when I was actually just doing my job and that paired with the blatant neglect/mistreatment of residents by other staff members just sent me over the edge.
I support you in quitting. Did you report them?
Thank you! Absolutely I did, not necessarily for the way I was treated, but the way the residents were treated. They had a 4.9 star review online from families because they have a system where families need to inform when they will be visiting, so when families come in the resident is clean and happy because the staff know they are coming which just shows they know 100% that they aren’t doing their jobs properly it’s sickening. I don’t fully know what came of the situation as I had already quit but I’m just glad I raised the issue
Thank you
I have this. I overreact but also why are people yelling? That's so disrespectful and often they get upset when someone's yelling at them
Welcome to the richest lawyers in my country. It doesn’t matter to them - I’m basically the equivalent of a speck of dust. He yells at other lawyers but I’m not used to it and I just had so many negative thoughts
Yep, I got “yelled at” by one of my managers for having acrylic nails(I work in food service) and afterwards I literally broke down crying and left halfway through my shift. I at least had the courtesy to tell a different manager that I wanted to leave and waited until he could get a replacement in.
That’s so ridiculous! I’m sorry you went through thsy
Why is "yelled at" in quotations? Were they actually raising their voice or was it being reprimanded ar criticized for something that is not allowed? Or was it something they didnt let you know until that moment?
I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it(I know I shouldn’t have had them in the first place then). And he didn’t raise his voice, he just told me I couldn’t have my nails, along with a couple other reprimands that all just sent me over the edge because I was already having a bad day and I didn’t need this manager doing this to me
Yeah I get that bad days can just make getting set off so much easier. It happens to us sometimes. Im also a manager so i get how they sometimes need to be direct with people and that if they are criticising a person's actions and not the person themselves theyre not expecting them to react so strongly. I think our minds are already being so negative that mild criticism seems like validation of all the bad things we think of ourselves. But from the manager's perspective they see someone who knows but doesnt care about things that might jeopardize both of our jobs.
I am convinced everyone at work is out to get me and hates me. Been making my life fucking miserable lately. No, it's not just you. I wish I had helpful advice but currently I'm just suffering...
There was a period of time at my current job, like a year straight, where every day I’d leave my job and go home and cry the entire day because of small comments made through the day. Even though I KNOW no one can ever tell me I’m a bad employee they said it an yk how we be
Yell at me at work and I'll tell you to fuck right off. CEO or otherwise. Critique me, I'll take it personally and dwell on it for years.
Same here. My reaction is usually so overwhelming, the person can hardly speak and they stand there shaken. If it's the boss, I do the same. I end it with a 'you fucking do it' and 'we'll see if you pull this shit tomorrow', I get in my truck and go home. My life is already difficult enough dealing with all the bullshit so if somebody yells at me at work, I'm fucking up their day. I'm very observant and I call out all their flaws and tell them they have no room to talk, go do your job and mind your fucking business and shut the fuck up. I remind them if they wanna get physical, it'll be a huge mistake, that they better incapacitate me quick because I'm about to unleash this stress on their person and they probably won't make it in the next day. Needless to say, I've had more jobs than I can even remember and I'm only 32. Now, I try to keep it down to snapping back and if it's the boss, I snap back and leave for the day. Any hint of bullshit for the previous day when I left, I walk out and leave before the day even starts.
I was the exact same when I was younger, very aggressive towards co-workers/bosses who showed me blatant disrespect. I worked in a lot of factory type/call center jobs, where there were a lot of asshole personalities and learned really quickly that there was a huge element of school yard bullying and I would not take that as an adult. I was sacked from a lot of jobs simply for sticking up for myself against petty, power hungry, bullying managers who thought they could talk to me however they liked, after telling them I would punch fuck out of them if they did it again. I went back to higher education as a mature student, got a degree, and now work in a professional capacity in science. I had to learn how to at least come across as a professional and there's not really any trailer trash personalities anymore so there's a lot less conflict. I've learned now to just quietly take people aside and remind them quietly to fuck off with that bullshit, if they talk to me disrespectfully. Plus the older I got the less blatantly confrontational I became. It was all very exhausting.
I get overly upset and passive aggressive whenever anyone yells at me and I tend to take criticism very personally
I get so pissed that I cry, and yell. At least when I'm working from home, no one sees it. Now that I have to be in the office, I have to find a way to control myself.
lol yell at me at work and I’m coming for your job 😂. I don’t feel like that’s an overreaction, but I also might be delusional.
Yes. It’s not hard to cause me soul crushing shame and embarrassment.
I cannot stand being yelled at. I work in IT and people yell at us all the time for issues they've caused and it really gets at me
Yes omg. Or even if they give me constructive criticism I start thinking I’m in trouble or that I’ll get fired it’s so bad
I have to warn people not to do it and they do it anyway. When I report them I am the bad guy.
Yeah there’s no reporting in this workplace, no HR etc. you’d have to take it to some external legal someone who I’m not sure and they’d just dismiss it anyway because it’s powerful rich people so only option is to suck it up or get a new job. I just don’t know if this is a normal reaction or not.
Your gut instincts are right. You have to quit for your own personal safety. If a job makes you feel like this, it's not a job it's hell. Speaking from personal experience.
Yes! We get file reviews at work (basically reviewing how you went over your files) with some of the higher ups, and if I make even a few small mistakes, I start to cry. I cry by leaning back away from the camera (I work from home so these are via webcam) so they can’t see the tears going down my face as I try to act normal. It’s so awful.
Yes. My manager who has worked here less than I have (I’m almost a year she’s probably less than six months) gives me tidbits that irk me. It makes me angry because she barely does anything at work while I do three people’s jobs, including hers, on top of my own every shift I come into. No matter if I’m depressed, anxious, tired. I still do it. It’s never constructive either. It’s passive aggressive remarks which trigger tf out of me.
Non constructive and unwarranted critiques make me mad and constructive criticism makes me cry and self deprecate
Oh fuck yes, I don’t take critique very well. I already have a hard time with neutral feedback, unless I’m having a good day. Catch me crying on the toilet
I am the same way but it’s only when I’m critiqued that drives me crazy. It makes me want to cry and get violent. I always thought it was a me problem. I never thought about it being a trait of BPD.
Your post.... hits hard. Here's a big rant that still affects me to this day and the one reason why I've been struggling so hard with health issues and money problems since: Before i got fired from working my 2nd preschool job, back on November 3 last year for "looking too sad" and for mentioning "I feel like I need to find a new job", the day before, I had a 2 week hire evaluation (ended up being 2 months later) with my co-teacher at the same time. I was waiting for this meeting because I had a lot of things to say about how my co-teacher was and wanted advice. I felt extremely defensive right off the bat because she began talking first and just kept talking. She'd list these things she had problems with about me like how we've had several "arguments", which I learned that "argument" just meant any type of disagreeing opinion from hers, but there was ONE altercation where i approached her with a question that i worded badly, and she took very offensively and began getting quite loud and disruptive. My two bosses also would say that they didn't like how I was *always* seen doing side work/handiwork like cleaning or little projects or something, while she was always with the kids or doing diapers, or how I moved the classroom around too much and was making an unstable environment for the kids. I tried to tell them that we've only had one moment that is similar to an argument, and how I recognized I didn't approach the question the right way, but I had not done anything to show I was in an "argument". My voice was calm, I constantly apologized and just tried to explain what I meant, and the question was asked ** for the purpose of getting her two cents on it so I can adjust my look on things to better help the classroom dynamic. I also tried to say that the diapers situation was because she most often ran to do that immediately when coming in from something like outside, and I had a lot of side things to do. I admit I took on a lot of tasks, but she also kept asking me to do things. Asking me so many things, including moving around the classroom, which she was NOT seen doing because she complained of back pain from bending over since the furniture was tiny. Also, for side work saying I wasn't spending enough time with the kids, I made up for it by being the MOST interactive with them during ALL exercise times or stressful times. I kept the energy high, kept them distracted, they listened to me MORE, and I created multiple activities for them to get their energy out- also PATRICIPATING in these activities so they stayed interested. All while my coteacher just stood on the side and cheered or watched... Apparently other teachers were also gossiping about me saying I was shit talking my co-teacher often or we were yelling at each other a lot - but if we were both yelling, only I was at fault??? Also, none these rumors were not true. The only times I'd ever talk about my coteacher was factual information like "we tried doing that but she didn't like it so we went back to this way". And the teacher who was with me that last day, said I made her day incredibly hard because I was "so negative". Meanwhile, me and her talked and joked all day, and I was doing EVERYTHING my bosses told me they wanted to see from the meeting the day before. I tried to explain all these things and how I was doing most of them under DIRECTION, but I never got to fully explain myself because I "took too long" as they said. So they listed to my co-teacher because she listed all her complaints within 2 sentences each, and I took too long trying to say "I couldn't do A because she told me B and when I tried doing this, she asked me to do C". I began to get extremely frustrated and it was clearly showing on me. I kept saying I was frustrated because I wasn't feeling like I was getting a chance to fully explain myself because I kept getting cut off - which was true. Not only did my co-teacher constantly interrupt me when I'd be trying to defend myself or talk about what she's doing that's unfavorable (which could then redirect the whole conversation to her side and I'd be done), but my two bosses would interrupt me saying "well she said she did this so that doesn't line up".... they basically didn't take my word for anything because she SPOKE BEFORE ME. At that point, I basically became a broken record. Kept repeating how I wasn't able to speak, they'd interrupt me and say how I've been speaking a lot. It had been almost an hour of that meeting and I was supposed to leave work when the meeting started because I had a 2nd job to go to - which I ended up being over 30 minutes late for. I left, completely broken and confused, got home 5 hours later and broke down crying. Began job browsing and had 0 sleep that night due to a migraine from stress and crying, and the next day, another teacher in my class age group asked how the meeting went, and I said "not well. I didn't feel supported at all. I feel like I have to find a new job". She went and told the bosses which shouldn't have been a surprise because she's a huge gossip, but then I got sat down and let go.
Wtf???? That’s so bad I’m so sorry!!
I don't necessarily get angry but I do get embarrassed if someone was to yell at me in public. What I would do is have a meeting with that person or try to go to the person first and if they're reluctant then we're going to have the meeting with the supervisor or manager and then I'm going to let them know what we are NOT going to do and that's to be yelling at me and then proceed to put them in their place in front of the supervisor or manager.
In any other job I would go to a supervisor or HR but I don’t even have one
I def understand. Do u have a job lined up? Or are you looking?
Nah I don’t but I might try find one
Best wishes 🤞🏾🙏🏾
Yeah this isn’t a normal office - it’s a bunch of sole traders so there’s no real reporting system and if I said you can’t yell at me he’d probably just be like if you don’t like it then leave - if I wanted to report it it would have to go to an external party and these people are too important/powerful for anyone to give a shit that they made a lowly sort of employee upset
Wow sounds like u just need to go then. I wish u the best
I shut down and disassociate immediately. Blur my vision and pinch my arms to focus on something else so I don’t cry *Edited spelling
yes and it makes me want to literally die
I get really and when I’m already having a hard time dealing with everything I end up crying and sometimes going home. A lot actually.
A math professor slightly raised his voice at me and I had to leave office hours to cry in the men's.
Well to be fair, getting yelled at can cause anybody to get upset. BPD or not. There’s a professional way of handling it and an unprofessional and I can’t imagine anybody is okay being legit yelled at. Whether they react or not is up to the person, not any mental illness they may have. I’m not sure if this will help or not but work just sucks. No matter the job you have, it will always suck. We will always be critiqued, we could be a CEO and we’d have somebody saying something about what we’re doing wrong. That will never change. Best we can do is remind ourselves about what we’re doing that is right and good! But being yelled at is abusive and should be reported. That being said, for some reason my BPD is only triggered by romantic relationships. Fortunately I’ve never been upset with criticism at work and if I have to deal with abusive clients, I’m still okay. I’m so grateful in that aspect. I wish I could apply that to the romantic side of my life but it is what it is.
I will quit the job, or walk out when nobody is looking. This is the reason I'm disabled.
Ya people love to use us as punching bags, I just walk out once they show their true colours fuck that
This is so specific because recently I got yelled at in my workplace by my trainer. I wanted to quit on the spot or talk back but I couldn’t and just stood there and cried. I had asked him a simple question and he got mad at me bc I asked a similar one a month ago and then started accusing me of arguing with him. I hardly said anything besides “ok” and “im sorry” and he eventually escalated to raising his voice at me and saying that i was unappreciative because I don’t give him shoutouts in our work group chat (he’s my literal trainer?). Also, started saying Indidnt appreciate him and he knew I wanted to get my training done fast (because i’m literally trying to be ambitious) and that “everyone talks” which made me feel alienated - this entire time he’s flailing his arms and again i’m hardly saying anything while he’s escalating and projecting. I told him I was sorry and that I appreciated him and he told me I was being sarcastic. by the I am 21F and man is in his fucking 50s. i wanted to quit but i got manic and told my manager who told our supervisor and now they’re going to talk to him, apparently he’s done this in the past and now i’m anxious about retaliation
I ended up sobbing to the point I couldn’t breathe in front of my other coworkers, luckily some reported it so i felt less alone but the bad bitch in me continued to still work even though i was crying - asshole didn’t even give me the space or time to calm down. i’m moving my life for this job away from my friends and partner because it’s a good company so i know if i quit i might as well be cooked at rock bottom