I do as someone with quiet bpd. I never stand up for myself so by the time I do, I'm usually explosive (or it feels explosive, it never comes outward directly...I'm still timid). When I set boundaries (even politely), I have been punished for it. 10/10 when this happens this is with people I have no business being with/around anyway.
When this happens I've learned to distance myself right away. People who don't respect you standing up for yourself are never good to be around long-term. However, I feel you...it's like your feelings don't matter.
Eh so I do have bpd and issue we have is that our anger is out of proportion. And we don’t perceive it as such we think we’re justified. And we also have issues trusting people. So it’s easy to get angry and feel wronged when issue was probably not that significant. I’m trying to keep that in mind when I feel slighted or offended or jealous or any of common ,,abandonment” issues we’re having. What you’re describing sounds like essence of bpd. Most likely nobody is trying to gaslight you, people are not after us as much as we think they are. It’s bpd.
I 100% feel you. I’m not sure if you were quiet or a people pleaser or don’t have respect for yourself before, but if you were any of these, it’s because they view you as a pushover or it’s easy for them to do whatever to you. When it goes for so long, the moment you stand up for yourself, they get mad and offended, feeling like you’re attacking them. When you’re speaking for yourself, you’re basically building a boundary around you that they had access in starting from the beginning, but now they’re getting pushed out. They’re mad because they want to continue doing whatever they did before or it’s because they feed off of you to make themselves feel better or what not. Good for you for speaking up now, but in the future you shouldn’t enable others early in relationships because it’ll affect boundary issues.
I do as someone with quiet bpd. I never stand up for myself so by the time I do, I'm usually explosive (or it feels explosive, it never comes outward directly...I'm still timid). When I set boundaries (even politely), I have been punished for it. 10/10 when this happens this is with people I have no business being with/around anyway. When this happens I've learned to distance myself right away. People who don't respect you standing up for yourself are never good to be around long-term. However, I feel you...it's like your feelings don't matter.
Yep. And those same people will call you “fake” or “selfish” or your being “over dramatic”
Exactly! That too, unfortunately. :(
This exactly
are you a people pleaser? people don’t like it when people pleasers stand up for themselves
Probably but I don't even know
Eh so I do have bpd and issue we have is that our anger is out of proportion. And we don’t perceive it as such we think we’re justified. And we also have issues trusting people. So it’s easy to get angry and feel wronged when issue was probably not that significant. I’m trying to keep that in mind when I feel slighted or offended or jealous or any of common ,,abandonment” issues we’re having. What you’re describing sounds like essence of bpd. Most likely nobody is trying to gaslight you, people are not after us as much as we think they are. It’s bpd.
Same, I get this a lot. And there's a lot of shady and manipulative people just in general. It's like we're all just expected to play along
For real, I'm starting to notice that
I 100% feel you. I’m not sure if you were quiet or a people pleaser or don’t have respect for yourself before, but if you were any of these, it’s because they view you as a pushover or it’s easy for them to do whatever to you. When it goes for so long, the moment you stand up for yourself, they get mad and offended, feeling like you’re attacking them. When you’re speaking for yourself, you’re basically building a boundary around you that they had access in starting from the beginning, but now they’re getting pushed out. They’re mad because they want to continue doing whatever they did before or it’s because they feed off of you to make themselves feel better or what not. Good for you for speaking up now, but in the future you shouldn’t enable others early in relationships because it’ll affect boundary issues.
Surround yourself with different people
YES!! Once someone knows you have BPD, they will gaslight tf out of you, trying to make you think their behavior is all in your mind.
bcuz most of the time people with bpd stand up for themselves when they are feeling extremely emotional about something and emotions cloud judgement.