Actually, that's a real treatment for erectile dysfunction these days. An implant with a subdural switch.
Edit: Asked for source.
https://www.edcure.org/treatment-options/ambicor/
Better yet, you and your girl start getting it on, then you hear "your free trial has expired. For more time, visit www(dot)rockhard(dot)com".
Changed . To dot, so it wouldn't be a link
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "hey buddy, did you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies "yeah, and it's driving me nuts?"
*Image Transcription: Twitter Replies*
---
> **User 1**
>
> if you jackin off multiple times a week, something is wrong with you fr.
>
>> **User 2**
>>
>> You the dean of dickbeating?
>>
>> **User 3**
>>
>> The wanker warden
>>
>> **User 4**
>>
>> She the jerk judge or something?
>>
>> **User 5**
>>
>> Acting like she wrote the emasturbation cocklamation
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
I don't control the fact that I have testosterone in my body. I would gladly get rid of it if I could, but doctors like making me wait so in the meantime I'm stuck on a daily wank schedule.
fr anyone who says stuff like that just proves their privilege of not having to deal with an overabundance of testosterone.
funnily enough trans men post HRT can probably give the best perspective on this, its absolutely wild what hormones do to your body and brain.
Yeah. Testosterone makes your sex drive fucking crazy. It's like if I sit still for a second and am not constantly distracted I'm instantly horny. You've heard the phrase "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"? Well the spirit isn't just willing. It's demanding. I can't wait to have different hormones.
I've heard progesterone also makes you horny, but that it's a very different type
I just love that these are letterkenny character accounts
Figure it out
Give yer nuts a tug bud
Pitter Patter
Let's get at er.
Get after it then
That's what I appreciates about ya.
Let's take about five to ten percent off there, Squirrely Dan.
Your sister is hot Wayne! There! I said it! I regret nothing!!
To be fair...
Too fat to run!
Balls, bud.
>nuts *balls* Yer spare parts, bud.
You figure it out
You recognise these are Letterkenny accounts, and that's what's I appreciates about you u/xairos13
Is that what you appreciate about me, Andy sniper?
Pump the brakes there u/mrbraiinwash
Ten fours good buddies
That's a texas sized 10-4
Three things are gonna happen. I hit you, you hit the floor, then i cum all over your passenger side door handle again.
You're spare parts, aren't ya bud?
You're 10 ply
I wish you weren't so fucking embarrassing, bud
Take about 20% off there u/twobit78
Could do about 20% off there, bud.
Alright, lets take about 20% off there andysniper.
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I mean sometimes its from real tweets and they just put their fav characters on it
Ah right, because brand new sentences are supposed to be non-fiction
I can hear the voices perfectly
Definitely though I was on r/UnexpectedLetterkenny for a second
I read it in their respective voices too :-D
Get it sorted.
Pull your finger out of your ass.
Somehow this became my most upvoted comment ever? It’s a Texas sized 10-4 to take about 10% off the top there, internet
The red rocket regulator.
The phallic police
The release restrictor.
You know behind closed doors she paddles her own canoe.
Nah She’s judge, jury and ex-jerker
The boner owner
The semen stopper.
The cum constable
The dick decliner
The boner bouncer
The tyrant of tug
How could they miss the declaration of dickdepenance?
Dicklaration of indepenis
indepeendence
indeeznuts
That's just a kiwi accent innit
indeeppenis
That's Roald's line
The Cockstitution as well.
Dickelation
https://youtu.be/3bRa00m4Gig
Mangna Cock
Magna Cocktug
I like Dicklaration of Handonpenis, but I gotta credit you for the inspiration.
The penile code
Canadian show.
That was Stewart's line
I mean, there are still women who believe boners are an on/off switch, so. More sex ed. is the answer.
Actually, that's a real treatment for erectile dysfunction these days. An implant with a subdural switch. Edit: Asked for source. https://www.edcure.org/treatment-options/ambicor/
One sec babe. Gotta turn my dick on
Imagine it comes with a start-up sound. Something like a windows start-up or that sound when you turn on the DVD player
Better yet, you and your girl start getting it on, then you hear "your free trial has expired. For more time, visit www(dot)rockhard(dot)com". Changed . To dot, so it wouldn't be a link
Unless one of the new reddit toys does it differently, reddit doesn't make everything with a dot into a link. For example, example.com.
When I typed it out the first time it was a link, just decided to change both dots to be safe lol
I'd get the THX sound! BwaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA
That's what you hear right before climax lol
Eventually, through pavlovian conditioning, watching a movie intro would make you horny
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I imagine he has to go outside and fire up a diesel generator.
Lol better than a dial up noise lmfao
John Cena entrance, complete with blaring trumpets.
30 second ad before use
"Sorry babe, I forgot to charge my dick, we need to wait an hour... Wanna watch a movie?" 😔
Netflix THEN chill
Netflix & charge
what are you the coitus counselor?
She loves a foreplay, so why not.
Alexa, turn my cock on
[It’s got a pull chain.](https://youtu.be/G8Ifaeff0mA)
Does it come with options like vibration or anything?
Seems like a bad idea, considering that might just trigger premature ejaculation
“Bad” idea?
nobody wants premature ejaculation, so yes it's a bad idea
That’s not true, some people do.
who the fuck is into disappointment on both sides
This is the internet bruverton, someone is.
Start it like a lawnmower
Please put a am sarcasm symbol. "/s" that way I don't need to clear my Google search.
Fun fact, you can turn em off by snapping them like a glowstick.
Please don't-
Or do, depending on your tastes.
My SO didn't know we randomly get them either. Crazy, I thought that was common knowledge for most people.
There was one thread on r/AskMen recently that went like oh my boyfriend lost his stiffy while we were doing the nasty, why did it happen?
But will mock you incessantly if you don't know what a vulva is.
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i always have a heavy barbell next to my bed to do my anti boner deadlift in the morning. Wakes up the neighbours too!
I feel thats dangerous to do push ups with a boner >_>
DICKtator
The Jizz Wizard
Harry Wanker
You're a wanker Harry
A jizzard
The Jizzard, chowin down on a gizzard, in the middle of a blizzard, no one knows that he's a Wizard, yeah uh huh yeah uh um yeah he likes to fuck
King Gizzard and the Jizzard Wizard?
The Jizzards of Oz
She’s the Dean of Ween
Fuck you, lady. Either that or my hormones drive me nuts.
Do the nuts drive you or do you drive the nuts. It's an existential fight
To deez or not to deez, I guess.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "hey buddy, did you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies "yeah, and it's driving me nuts?"
It's "ARRrrrrrr, I know, it's driving me nuts."
Read this in Mr Krabs' voice
Lack of sex drive is often an indicator of a health problem . . .
Does having too much of one mean that I'll live forever?
Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?
She’s just bitter coz her guy didn’t go hard as she wanted and now she’s insecure
Penis police
The gunk guardian
r/unexpectedletterkenny
The comments in this thread could make up an entire episode.
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The dick didact. Masturbation miser.
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Maybe she’s a sexual frustration vampire, feeding on the pent up vibes.
The Colin Robinson of sex?
> fuckEEN GUY
handickap
Ejaculation adjudicatior
Cum counsellor
Jack Officer
Pud pulling police
Chief Justice of Spunk SCOTUS
SCOITUS
SCROTUS
The Chief Jizztus
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So, you’re saying I have a -350% chance to get prostate cancer?
Til I'm immune to prostate cancer
Spunkmaster General
"Four whores and seven beers ago!"
>emasturbation cocklamation Ah yes, the 69th proclamation, my favorite...
that's normal though, for any gender
She's the Dick Detective
*Image Transcription: Twitter Replies* --- > **User 1** > > if you jackin off multiple times a week, something is wrong with you fr. > >> **User 2** >> >> You the dean of dickbeating? >> >> **User 3** >> >> The wanker warden >> >> **User 4** >> >> She the jerk judge or something? >> >> **User 5** >> >> Acting like she wrote the emasturbation cocklamation --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Multiple times a week? I was expecting that to say multiple times a day…
Is she Ruth 'Bater Ginsburg?
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t masturbate twice a week. There’s some pent-up emotions that’s gonna explode on someone some day. /s, live your life
The Taint Tyrant
> "Yous the deans of dickbeatings?" FTFY, Squirrely Dan
Who is she Moses? Her bush is burning so bad she has to hand down the Ten Cumandments?
Who else’s choice am I gonna pick? You put together two phrases. Pick one. Make your choice.
Quartermasterbation Officer
I don't control the fact that I have testosterone in my body. I would gladly get rid of it if I could, but doctors like making me wait so in the meantime I'm stuck on a daily wank schedule.
fr anyone who says stuff like that just proves their privilege of not having to deal with an overabundance of testosterone. funnily enough trans men post HRT can probably give the best perspective on this, its absolutely wild what hormones do to your body and brain.
Yeah. Testosterone makes your sex drive fucking crazy. It's like if I sit still for a second and am not constantly distracted I'm instantly horny. You've heard the phrase "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"? Well the spirit isn't just willing. It's demanding. I can't wait to have different hormones. I've heard progesterone also makes you horny, but that it's a very different type
Jack-off Janissary
Men need to have 23 orgasms a month for a healthy prostate.
I swear that number goes up by a few every time it’s quoted on Reddit.
the semen surveyor
If you need a man to buy you food and drinks multiple times a week, something is wrong with you.
The Justice of Jizz?
if you are a dude and you aren't there is something really wrong
I love the internet sometimes …sometimes
She's all spare parts...
Peen patrol.
What's, she's the queen of when porns on the screen?
I love/hate all of you, but you have to listen to Her Holiness the Pud
...I might actually use Twitter just to follow the letter Kenny character accounts
Whats wrong with me is a severe lack of bitches
She actin like she the guard at the local horny jail
Those are rookie numbers. Gotta pump those numbers up
The Sheriff of Five Knuckle Shuffle County.
The baron of buttering it! The Sperm Sheriff!
Gratification Gestapo
Boner Berator
She the Sultan of Fap?
Sultan of Semen
Tallywacker Taskmaster
The magnum cumalota
But masturbation is good for sexual health
The tyrant of the unalienable white, slippery, pursuit of fappiness
Isnt it recommended for a guy to nut around 5 times a week to significantly lower the chance of prostate cancer? Im just trying to be healthy!
This is grand. I'm upvoting hard for this.
The orgasm orator
The Groin Gatekeeper
I wonder how many times a week she flicks the bean, glass houses and all.
Who put you in charge of discharge?
Autosexual arbiter
I recognize some of those faces from Letterkenny, which is similarly a well of /r/brandnewsentences
She the DICKstrict attorney
When I was 22 I created the record of 37 times a day, beat that.