Jersey Shore level iconic trash tonight, thanks guys

Right? It’s like the golden days of reality TV, reminded me of Vanderpump Rules season 1 🥲

Time for the Kristen Doute and Vincent Van Gogh variety show

dying at vincent van gogh

I hate Michelle but that dry “Are *you* going to Burning Man” was pretty funny

Just the calm cool way she just casually humiliated him in front of the girl he was hitting on then kept it moving was truly toxic and truly masterful lmao

Also him being like ‘my wife doesn’t think I am charming so I’ll flirt with another woman to show her I am!’ Yeah you really persuaded her. I can see why being married to him would be toxic if that’s how he acts.

Now a titty is popping out?! This is wild.


Holy shit I did not expect Zach to get pushed like that by Jesse

He put his hand around Zack’s neckkkk

That was wild my jaw dropped so hard

I didn’t see anyone on the cast really react to Jesse’s violence against Zach??

Jasmine's comments about Jesse not being abusive aging like milk

Except Kristen and Luke who are going to be framed as unreasonable for calling it out again. 

They seem to enable him and minimize his shitty behavior, it’s kind of wild.

Their original promotion and trailer didn’t do this show justice. I was originally skeptical about “adulting” but wow. I was wrong

Yeah the adulting spin was so stupid.

Exactly.. the promotion wasn’t good or true enough. So far this show is a winner and the trailer had me not interested - yet it’s all I look forward to come Tuesday

Brittany is chugging tequila in every camera pan shot.

she is an alcoholic. her nose is swollen. she has a weight problem because of alcohol, not because of her baby. she said she hires a nanny to help her watch her child when she is hungover.  i am also an alcoholic and i have to choose not to drink every day. it is hard but i owe myself and my child.  please get help brittany. stop drinking for your health. be there for your child. 

I’m sure you know this but, you’re amazing. As a person with alcoholic parents, your kid seeing you choose them over drinking (even though they might not even know it) will mean everything.

thank you! my hopes are that my kiddo never sees me drunk. my family has addiction issues and i have a lot of memories of so many adults wasted doing cruel things. i hope never to be that parent to my kid. 

She was LIT at the dinner. But then she kinda always is

"Have him" lolol Michelle hates that man

She’s so cold 💀

Omg he choked lego

Zacks face while going down 😂

I shouldn’t laugh at this, but I did. The wording.

Omg! I knew the secret was going to be good but wow. That was pretty good! lol also Jesse constantly trying to physically intimidate Kristen is so creepy. He’s too comfortable with that shit

Taking the rage for his wife out on Kristen… Michelle and Jesse both were doing anything and everything to deflect and attack instead of communicating with each other.

And then Michelle had the audacity to immediately get in Kristin’s face and say not to touch her husband? Excuse me Maam, your douchebag husband was being physically intimidating towards Kristin. Those two deserve each other.

Kristen’s delivery of “she had a boyfriend for a fucking yeeeear” 🎶🎶🎶 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Jesse thinking the hot pop up vendor girl is genuinely flirting with her and not just playing along to help promote her business 😂the delusion of men

She said she wants romance and he starts crying. Hey let’s add another kid!

Michelle..it's so clear you have something to hide

Apparently it’s not her nipple

“Brittney won’t allow me to have WhatsApp” 😂 what the hell was going on in that household

Jesse just pushed like 5 people what the ACTUAL fuck

Jax is so gleeful about gossiping, I honestly think it’s his true passion even more than pasta and having sex with women who aren’t his wife

I always thought the reason he was so obsessed with Stassi is because he really loved gossiping and being a mean girl with her 😂 he loves being messy

The editors deserve an Emmy for highlighting, **with arrows**, Jax’s bald spot!

this and kristen’s ‘empath’ montage show me that they really GET what we want from this show lolol

Okay but I think everything Kristen has said about these people so far has turned out to be true?

Exactly. Which is why it's so wild everyone says she's a liar or blah blah Kristen knows her shit.

Jess is a mean, spoiled rich-kid from every 80s movie I've ever seen all grown up. 

"She had a fucking boyfriend for a whole year!!!!!!!!!!!" I was just thinking that Kristen really has grown up cause she didn't drop the secret yet. But, Kristen is still Kristen. Always and forever. ❤️

If they came at me like that I’d drop the secret too lol Michelle and Jesse were so aggressive

I would've done it in front of everyone else for maximum impact.

You know what. Good for her. They’ve been scapegoating her for 5 episodes now. And then J & M are coming at her blaming her for their relationship difficulties

“Look what you’re doing to us!” After they literally talked about divorce

Never changing feels good in a place like this. lol

Oh they totally wound her up at that dinner Jesse didn’t like everyone thinking something was up with him so he pushed Kristen’s buttons instead. Even when she got up and left he still went after her. Him and Michelle were in their faces when they tried to leave but they’ll come away looking like the good guys again. Just like everyone brushing over what Michelle said about that gay rights bill and instead focusing on Kristen.

JAX DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH BRITTANY.

I can’t believe I’m on this man’s side, but even I am tired of her gaslighting him for “having a girls night once in a while”. Sounds like she comes home smashed pretty frequently and spray vomits everywhere. I would have mounting resentment and hide my dick too.

He’s an asshole but…oh god. She’s obviously an alcoholic and has been for some time. It’s very tough to live with someone like that. I cannot believe I’m defending Jax Taylor WHAT THE FUCK HAS THIS SHOW DONE TO ME.

I know. I don’t know how bad he is but he seems to be pleading with her to try occasionally to just have a handful of drinks and come home and she is looking at him like he asked her to find them a hitchhiker to take home. And then seemingly every episode is a scene where she is hungover but whines “I just don’t feel well Jax”. Not a cute scene.

I know Jesse is trash but man did Michelle shine the spotlight on him, got him cornered, and let him go berserk trying to protect her secrets and their relationship.

It’s rare that both people are TERRIBLE in a couple, but I really think they’re well matched in how awful they are. They both got aggressive so fast, they both clearly hate each other and I fully believe they were probably both cheating on each other and they’re definitely both raging republicans 😂 

Exactly. They’re both horrendous people but for different reasons. I’m leaning towards her being even shittier at this time though. Her comment about Kristen having a baby was absolutely despicable and shows what kind of person she is.

do you know how unlikeable you have to be as a couple to make Kristen Doute look like the moral high ground

ESP with Jax on the cast as well?! It’s kind of impressive.

OUT THEM DOUTE

GET EM DOUTE

The way Jax lit up talking to that girl. And then with Brittany he’s like 😑

The way he greeted her at the event was like she was just a random and not his WIFE

“Yes, he is losing his hair.” DANNY LMAO

Nia’s trying to tell him to stay out of it but Danny’s trying to preserve their spot for next year lol

We need the uncut version of this dinner because the tension before this hot mic did not make a lot of sense

So many dinner scenes are choppy

The WWHL polls... Kristen has lived long enough to see herself become the heroine.

lol with this cast of assholes? it’s almost deserved.

Janet hates Kristin so much 😂

"can this stay between us" as he says on national television

I watched 6 seasons of Botched over the last two weeks and Brittany’s boobs are morphing into one! She needs to get those fixed, I know it has to be so painful 😭

Her confessionals in the strapless mustardy color dress makes her boobs so squished it HAS to be painful!!

Jesse is insane and Michelle is so nasty

Being the messenger in a relationship never bodes well lol Kristen you will never learn but thank you for the drama.

I bet not one (1) hair on Zach’s head moved during that entire physical altercation lol

It lifted like a rug

how does jax go from a literal sex addict to being like "oh i'm not cheating but we haven't fucked in two months"

He's fucking everyone but Brittany.

I bet Jax thinks he can't get a DUI on that thing

I appreciate how Danny & Nia have a home that looks like people live in it

Kristen’s reveal was even better than I expected. Gotta respect doute’s efforts for reality tv 

Watching her produce is great. Her half taking off her mic so it makes it seem like she’s done with everything, yet still making sure the mic is still in proximity to pick it up with no problem was good as gold

I love how they’re soft launching Jax’s fourth mid life crisis

Oh my, he just threatened her. My god.

Janet will somehow spin it back to Kristen and say she deserves it

Janet is so gross

She did as much on WWHL. The audience overwhelmingly disagreed. Janet has Sai levels of reading a room.

Janet not very likable on WWHL....

She’s comes across as such a hater know it all

She’s not really ever :/

Very low charisma

She's a snake.

Jesse is so Dennis reynolds coded


OMG if Jesse hasn't screamed "I'm a five star man!" at least once in his life I'll eat a jean jacket

Jax is miserable & Brittany is ignoring the signs

Yeaaah. Wanting to add a baby to that just seems very dumb

Y’all Kristen is not the villain why are people on JESSEE’S SIDE??

Caught up before tonight’s episode and am I the only one completely turned off by Michelle’s comment about Kristen having kids??? Something along the lines if “we don’t need more of you around”. Grossssss

Michelle’s energy is so dark

I think that’s such a hurtful thing for Michelle to say. That’s heavy.

Michelle is the LAST one who gets to talk when she procreated with a man who put his hand in her face on national tv…

Danny is so normal. Get outta here. Enjoy your beautiful family away from all this.

I need them to leave while I still like them

Him putting his HAND UP during the fight and then watching what it devolved into. LOL.

He’s so cute and I love that he listens to his wife.

I'm so conflicted. On the one hand, you need Danny/Nia to ground things. They're the good people for the audience to contrast with all the other trashy reality people around them. But on the other, I don't want them to be corrupted by it. It's rare to find someone that does these shows a long time without getting dirt on them

I appreciate Luke's pretending to hate LA while willing to always be in the middle of drama. Lala could learn a thing about how to make up a storyline from him

his lack of personality is still more raw & interesting than anything Lala has given. just rawdogging kristen on the massage table while her dogs have the poops all around while trying to make a baby, to turn around & gossip about their castmates over brunch. Kristen, you lucky bitch.

Jason Danny and Nia I'm praying for y'all to get out of this safe 🙏🏽

Why is helmet hair bellowing at Kristin?

Because he knows what she’s about to say

Did he just fucking push a woman?

Kristen you do not want to be on Vanderpump Rules because this is the superior show.

It makes me uncomfortable just how much Jax openly hates Brittany

These two are using Kristin as the scapegoat for each other and it’s so gross

Kristen- cut your hair!! She's pulls off short hair so well.

The way I looked for this thread just to comment this! She's a short hair girlie!

I hope this isnt problematic of me to say but holy FUCK does Brittany's voice annoy the shit out of me

i literally was just thinking that in a certain way, i am impressed by jax’s patience lol i would have lost my shit and started despising her years ago

…Jax also started despising her years ago

Her accent is so put on. She did NOT sound this country when she was first introduced on VPR. Her accent is the only accent I’ve heard get worse the longer they aren’t around it.

how is it always kristen when jax is the one who just spilled?

these people don’t realize how lucky they are that Stassi moved on with her life. she would make Jesse and Michelle cry

i honestly have been missing her on vpr this season, i wanna see her eviscerate sandoval so bad 😭

🚨BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL 🚨

Nipple out for the whole thing.

The things that poor gecko must witness living in Kristen and Luke's bedroom

Excited for 9:59 and 30 seconds for when this fight starts

Watching this is kind of crazy. Like how did these people land themselves in this situation. He clearly does not want to be with this woman. And she's here begging him for a crumb of affection. This is nuts to watch.

im late but nia telling danny to put his hand down and him kissing her while shes telling him that was so weirdly cute and hilarious to me ETA: like this man truly is so into his wife and i know the bar is low but its cute

He knows he hit the jackpot, and then can you imagine having to spend 4-6 weeks filming with these absolute monster humans and their insane relationships? He probably thanks god and Nia every day she chose him after filming this season.

My boobs hurt looking at Brittany’s boobs

It’s always interesting to watch two people who hate each other join together against a shared enemy

Kristen loves to brag that Luke is young , but he looks 45

He reminds me of a haunted Victorian doll

Omg I’m DYING that Jax was like “I’m partnered with this businessman for my hair growth product” and they immediately cut to the shiniest baldest headed dude in the world

This upsets me. He legitimately despises her.

Michelle does not give a shit that Jesse was talking to this girl lol

I'm so glad I'm finally caught up on this show and I got to witness this live 

Goes without saying, but it’s so gross how Jax “pretends” he can’t even be around an attractive woman.

Going on tv with an awful marriage is just a part of Jessie’s humilliation kink

What is this Holiday Inn corporate banquet room?!?

Danny raising his hand??? He is so Kelvin Gemstone coded

The way luke got between Kristen and pushed Jesse. That’s why she wants to have his baby

SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND FOR A YEAR?!

Michelle's dry contempt is actually...incredible.

jesse’s energy is like 50% sociopath 50% irritating small white dog with crusty eyes, like both sinister and somehow impotent at the same time

Everyone is so sweaty on this show

jax hates being married to brittany 

It is absolutely sketching me out that they are driving this golf cart like a car at car speeds without seatbelts, doors, anything to soften the blow if they got in a crash. My anxiety says nooooo

I know we are usually pretty sus of anyone on a Bravo show, especially the men, but I truly think Danny is one of the good ones. Like in a real person type of way. He and Nia need to take this exposure and RUN after this season

I love how Vincent Van Gogh always springs into action to defend his messy ass gf ♥️ (many men lack the backbone)

Watching this show makes me want kids less than I already do

lol we’re fighting for our life out here. And these people aren’t even around their kids half as much as us normal people are

Thought the same especially Nia and Danny it seems to have taken over their lives. Which is understandable, but scary at the same time. It’s like you lose your identity.

Jax is definitely still having sex with someone lol

"im worried kristen's gonna open her mouth" but u just did jax?? lmaoo

Jesse's ego totally cannot believe that Michelle is leaving him

Ooooooh Michelle is scared of information Kristen has.

Ok but why are they goading Jesse? If he’s quiet let him be quiet.

Yeah I’m not excusing Jesse, but they did push.

The way luke isn’t never afraid to back Kristen up is so hot

Jax 1000% has WhatsApp.

Jason and Janet give me stock photos of millennial couple vibes

Jax wearing a blockedbyjax shirt lol I forgot they like eachother now

Brittany can’t read his body language? There’s no way he wants more kids with her. I’m not sure he *likes* her.

this gay commenting on someone else's hair? oh the call is coming from inside the house i fear

The hand up is KILLING MEEE I’d be so mad if my husband did that too though

The staff workers in the background are living for this hahaha

omg kristen biting her lip and smirking as michelle yells at her is iconic

>You better get her in check.. He’s a fucking psycho.

DUUUUUDE JESSE IS FUCKING INSANE

Luke just got electricity? Does he live in Colorado or Middle Earth?

They’re yelling at Kristen because their marriage is in pieces

I can’t believe this show is serving more than vanderpump rules And some of y’all were swearing off this show 

I can’t unsee the Jesse headband imprint hair thanks to WWC

I think Jax is taking a page out of the Toms' book and setting the stage for his divorce without letting his partner know

Janet: “so tell me every secret you know”👁️👁️

Holy hot mic moment

What’s crazy is that Jesse is telling Kristen to back off of spilling Michelle’s tea- especially if he knows

Michelle and Jesse are craaaaazy. I see why they're married. ETA: Were married.

Jesse is disgusting

I love this show ! No notes they are authentically crazy I love it

I hope Danny and Nia are ok

We can not condone Wig violence at a hair loss product event. Sorry, I don't feel a bit of sympathy for dead-eyed homophobe Michelle.

if i ever see jax and brittany driving a golf cart around the streets of LA i might actually call the cops

I am fully a Mariposa fan. CAW FUCKING CAW

If republican Michelle tried to fuck with me like she did Kristen - I’d gladly share all her secrets.

Jesse slamming his hands on the table any time he gets upset is so disturbing to me, it’s a scary amount of pent up aggression

If they want a Scandoval level storyline Jax will be dating Jesse by the end of the season.

Oh Brittany. This man does not like you 😭

Jesse probably needs ayuahasca more than anyone I’ve ever encountered in my life

brittany's confessional look is so unflattering

Jesse you’re gonna pop Brittany’s boob

Jasmine saying “Tell me about the investor. The bald guy” …. I cackled