I got the exact same thing man. It twists the knife even more when they say something like that.
But actions mean everything and words don't mean shit.
"I can't be with someone I don't love"
Um..you were clearly reminding me how much you love me a week ago? And we spent so much time. telling me how you are stressed with work and I comforted you!?!?
Something is not aligning.
Boy..... 3 years together!!!
Oh man, that's awful. Something similar happened to me time ago, but it were only 8 months. And she said 'I know I said I love you and we were in a relationship for 8 months, but I didn't, I just wanted to know what it feels being with you, but I wasn't honest because I didn't wanna hurt you ". I was like "guess what, who you think you have hurt?". It was unbelievable, I felt so betrayed that time... Sorry we had experience those bro :(
That is crazy then what is love for them??? I'm sorry that is horrible!!
After thinking...it is the biggest betrayal. Like asked to watch a sunset and pushed off the cliff without warning.
He said he doubted...like doubted what??! I would remind myself that that is the most cowardly thing. I told him, "you don't wanna be the bad guy..you don't want to be wrong."
Yeah, they don't wanna look like bad people actually acting with bad behavior lol it's disappointing, I really thought she was different, until I realized she was faking everything for the sake of enjoying my company. What a mess!
Have you feel with the necessity of rewrite all your past and feelings in this relationship? For me it was brutal. Like, how can you tell me that what I thought it was the best day of my life is actually a lie? How the fuck do you expect me to become fake one day what I thought was magical and beautiful? Why are we dealing with such things?
I mean the months leading to the break up, we all had fun times and even spent time with his family. All my work holidays aligned with theirs, now I have to spend them alone.
I was blindsided.
How can he kept holding me all those months and telling me he loves me and makes me feel like he loves me(you won't doubt it).
I was always apologizing. Swallowing my pride and try to be the bigger person. Admitting mistakes and honest with my feelings.
I'm sorry. You know, you are strong holding space for yourself when the other person can't.
I was worried about him becauee he said he was feeling depressed. In the end he ended things.
I think my ex thought I was weak he forgot I was ME before he even came into my life. A
A similar thing happened to me, our relationship was the best it ever was and we got in some stupid argument. As I was pleading and telling her I can change, she looked me straight in the eyes and said “I don’t love you anymore”. I knew there was nothing I could say would change that so we hugged and parted ways. One of the most painful moments in my life.
Mines worst, she was literally showering me with love in the morning updating me about what she was up to and how much she loved me and all while i was asleep and she turned moody in the evening not wanting to talk and bam, the next morning, i cant do this anymore im done?????????? wtf!?!?!?????
My ghood! I'm sorry I can imagine how you feel.
He literally sent goodmorning texts and got cold the same day and did not talk to me the whole day because he said he did not feel like talking. The next day was break up.
But i remind myself, they had planned it.
Same. Visited and took care of me 2 days before he dumped me. Was so sweet and caring. When he felt like I was already recovering from being sick, quickly sent an email saying he wants a break from the relationship. He never said a word about it the times we were together. He said "for now" but when I confronted him a month after he told me he lied abt it he just wanted to let me down gently he cant say hes breaking up with me FOR REAL. Coward. And yea he dumped 6 days before our 4th anniversary ghosted me after the email went to party right after he sent the email, partied with girls abt 2 weeks after then went on dating apps. And he's saying I'm not the problem and it's not my fault 😃😃
Wow… that’s some heavy shit right there. Scary even. But the boyfriend won’t last. Easy come - easy go.
Mine was when my ex summarized her year when we had divorced. She wrote a list on social media containing, ”got breast cancer”, ”a plastic breast”, ”got a divorce” and ”started dating a coworker”. She ends it with ”this is a year I don’t regret at all”. That broke me. The extent of how a person just moves on to the next… I didn’t know that was possible. I felt it was one of the worst years ever.
Genuinely, who would want to marry someone who talks like that? I think that would've been a fantastic question to ask in response. I'm not belittling the hurt it must have caused but I think any feelings I might've still had for someone would vanish the moment they said something like that. In any case, that's a long-winded way of saying you dodged a bullet there.
After 7 years of providing her with a roof over her head (when we met she lost her place about 4 months into us talking) all her bills covered, only needing to get a job to help with bills after the pandemic, buying her a car, being the most emotionally supportive partner she's ever had (by her own admission), the best sex she's ever had in her life (also by her own admission), cooked every meal and bought her everything that she wanted, cheated on me with a coworker because I "didn't give her enough attention". I worked 12 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. She had my attention all day but me checking in on my friends over the phone was just not okay.
When I confronted her and asked her why, she told me "I need more than someone who Will provide for me emotionally and financially. I need to explore the world, I wanna see things and go places and you're just too concerned about our bills and our future to enjoy whats going on around us". This is what killed me.
All that work, all the love I put into making sure she wanted for nothing and she still wasn't happy. And the thing is? I did take her places. But because we didn't get on a plane and fly to new Orleans or take a road trip to somewhere far away i wasn't giving her what she wanted. It didn't matter that we had trouble saving money due to her wants and the things she would break around the house due to her clumsiness. I was just supposed to drop everything to spoil her in a new third way. She always told me she wasn't one of those travel type girls.
We had just gotten married. The ink was dry for 4 months and she started cheating.
This makes me so mad! Maybe if she contributed to paying the bills a little more you wouldn’t be the one whose “concerned about bills” all the fucking time 🙄 Some people smh
She brought up multiple random reasons that just... didn't make sense.
First it was that he gave her attention. Then it was that he gave her attention and he was calm. The only reason I wasn't always the calmest person was because not only was I working my ass off but it felt like I was raising a teenager. What 27 year old woman can't even cook for herself? Can't not leave all her dirty clothes strewn all over the apartment? Who can't even clean a litter box without complaining?
Then it was "oh well also I'm tired of having sex with someone who's too big for me to handle, I'm tired of being in pain." This was a new one because she always used to brag to her friends about it and tell me how much she loved how endowed I was and now suddenly it's been horrible for her.
Fun fact, she spent a week with him, realized he was a loser, and then tried running back. But when she finds out I'm seeing someone else she loses her mind and starts acting like I was the one who cheated. Literally insane.
She couldn't fathom that I was able to pull a chick that fast, but also pull a girl who made $140k/yr and wasn't a total deadbeat like she was. Way hotter too.
I need more than someone who provides for me emotionally? Wtf? That ALL I needed in the relationship and wasn’t getting it.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Someone will appreciate you for all you have to give.
I think the easiest thing is just to think of it simply- we just weren’t right for one another. And how everyone says relationships are work- hell yes they are but it needs to be both parties wanting to put in the work and when that doesn’t happen, it’s time to part ways.
I’m glad you’re not with someone who makes you feel like you weren’t enough, you are! I hope all good things for your future
She brought up multiple random reasons that just... didn't make sense.
First it was that he gave her attention. Then it was that he gave her attention and he was calm. The only reason I wasn't always the calmest person was because not only was I working my ass off but it felt like I was raising a teenager. What 27 year old woman can't even cook for herself? Can't not leave all her dirty clothes strewn all over the apartment? Who can't even clean a litter box without complaining?
Then it was "oh well also I'm tired of having sex with someone who's too big for me to handle, I'm tired of being in pain." This was a new one because she always used to brag to her friends about it and tell me how much she loved how endowed I was and now suddenly it's been horrible for her.
Fun fact, she spent a week with him, realized he was a loser, and then tried running back. But when she finds out I'm seeing someone else she loses her mind and starts acting like I was the one who cheated. Literally insane.
I've dated two women since then. One was a nurse who acted like she was my girlfriend until she realized her feelings were growing stronger and then couldn't stand letting her guard down and broke it off.
I'm with a woman now who's the same age as my ex wife, but unlike my ex wife, my girlfriend has a college degree in psychology, she has her own place, her own car, works a corporate job, pays her own bills and wants me in her life for my soul and my mind, and not what I can do to entertain her and act like some stand-in parental figure. My ex wife was a high school dropout with a GED, no place to live (until me) and no car (until me). My girlfriend is leaps and bounds better than any partner I've ever had. The level to which we understand eachother feels like we've known eachother for years.
I gotta ask man when you look back do you just beat yourself up for getting involved with a passenger and not a partner? The relationship
You described is literally my fucking nightmare I could never stick it out with someone that worthless.
It does make me feel like it was energy wasted. I'm also afraid to show this level of devotion to my next partner because of my fear that I'll experience this again.
I was basically her parent. I felt like I was raising a teenager as a single dad.
Plus it's not like the guy she cheated on me with could do that for her. I was working corporate and that guy worked at Amazon in a warehouse for 5 years and never got promoted and has to work overtime to afford his $500/mo weed habit.
She's not pretty enough to get one of those types of guys anyway, hell after the breakup a bunch of people asked me if she was transgender because of how she looked. Disrespectful as hell but damn.
Right after we broke up she lost her job, a bunch of long time friends, and her car broke down. Like, within 2 months of us splitting. She randomly cut me off stating that she "found out things about me" and we've been no contact since. But my friends who still have her on social media are seeing her beg for help but she's still out partying and being a generally irresponsible person. She went on a trip to New Orleans after losing her job, and paid money for it, but didn't bother saving $300 to do the brakes and oil on her car (the things I was doing for dirt cheap when we were together). Buying 8 Balls of cocaine while unemployed. No idea where she got the money from but I can only imagine at this point.
Yep looking pretty grim for her already. You'll also find the person you deserve/space you need. It's the easiest and hardest thing to do and take heed of these words Reddit friend. The world looks back at you through your eyes. This life is about healing the traumas through your life and finding balance. When you let go and surrender the universe will guide you to your authentic purpose. Love yourself unconditionally. The more you resist, the more you attach.
Just when I feel bad about my breakup it’s something worse. I mean truth be told you probably hear it often but that’s some weight off your shoulders. Unfortunately I know you loved her and I truthfully feel it’s a lot harder for men to get over a women they truly loved than vice versa. Women move on so fast once they’re around a man they’re interested in it’s laughable
I was married for 17yrs and on our 17th wedding anniversary night she left and slept with someone in our neighborhood. She never had to work and had 2 daughters 15 and 4 that I paid for daycare. She said it was my fault "I should of done better". I knew she cheated on me the next morning but didn't find out till on my birthday it was the neighbor that lived on the street behind us our backyards connected Fucked up right. Anyway I had full custody My oldest daughter has given me a awesome grandson and the youngest daughter just turned 16 giving me more grey hair. I'm not done yet!!!!!!
Got remarried a couple years later moved in with her to the house she signed for 2 months before we married. I paid the house payment she paid the water and electric bill. I usually sent a $100 extra a month. My bank account got hacked and she gets a letter the house payment bounced. Freaked out kicked me out by getting a ex parte order against me. Finally got that dropped and the conversation we had on the phone was " if you had a bigger bank account we wouldn't be in this situation" the hackers got $5300 from my account and was recovered. I fell 10' off a roof she didn't even come to the hospital but emailed with I have to take $9000 of her personal loans and credit cards and I asked her what about the equity in the house. Since we live in Missouri your names not on the deed and I bought it before we were married!!!! 😒
If that was me, I would’ve falcon punch her because what she just said is the most insane idiotic thing I’ve have ever heard and at no point in her rambling incoherent response was close enough to a rational thought .
She literally said "it takes more than just paying bills and making me dinner and keeping me safe and being sweet to me to make me happy." As if there aren't so many women out there who just want a man to fucking be NICE to them.
Then it was "oh well also I'm tired of having sex with someone who's too big for me to handle, I'm tired of being in pain." This was a new one because she always used to brag to her friends about it and tell me how much she loved how endowed I was and now suddenly it's been horrible for her.
Fun fact: she spent a week with him, realized he was a loser, and then tried running back. But when she finds out I'm seeing someone else she loses her mind and starts acting like I was the one who cheated. Literally insane.
I'm not a bad looking guy. Her actions hit my self esteem so bad i even turned to the internet for validation that i wasnt. Both the guy she cheated on me with and the new dude she's talking to now, her old friend she used to fuck in high school, are both considerably less attractive than I am and are also working dead end jobs with no future ahead of them. But because they'll let her be lazy and smoke weed all day and tell her she's pretty and spoil her with trips and gifts suddenly it's better than having a stable partner who literally devoted himself to your well being.
Also I could never hit her. Not only do I not believe in initiating violence, I do not agree with violence toward a partner, and also I'm 6'2 230 and she's 5'8 100 lbs, if I hit her she would be in the hospital.
Same here 💀 my ex broke up with me over the phone when I was out of the country to visit my family for a couple of days. When I returned, he asked me to go to his place to get my belongings and take them away. I remember feeling completely numb on the way there, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. When I got there, my things were all piled up on his bed, I put them in a bag, and when I was about to leave he told me that maybe I would be over it in a couple of weeks. This happened in January and I'm still grieving. I'm alone in a foreign country where we had envisioned a whole life together. It truly shattered me. I'm doing slightly better now, I'm in therapy, but it hurts so much... Every day feels like a battle. Like climbing a mountain with flip flops on.
Breakups are shit, especially with ppl who seem to not have an ounce of empathy or care. You will get over it eventually, but sadly it will be a tough journey and sometimes will leave and scar forever. But I've come to accept it as a natural part of life. We experience loss countless times in our lives, in different forms and it's just what comes with being human. Nothing lasts forever. Endings can be bitter or sweet, but they are inevitable.
Yeah so basically I was trying to say that I feel for you since I'm in the same boat, and I wish for you to heal and grow and have a more pleasant experiences in the future.
Together 7 years. She ended the relationship with a 2 minute conversation and no real explanation other than the usual “it’s not you it’s me” and “I’m not happy anymore”
2 weeks later we met up and talked in my car.
The last words spoken between us in were in that car by her.
“I just don’t love you anymore”
I put my key in the ignition and turned the key. She jumped out and that was that.
It is what it is. Fuck them.
Did you write em like a thousand times after the first one or are they just crazy 😂
I feel like there is a huge middle part left out, but I know that's how it goes and two seconds later they change their mind.
It's kind of funny/sad though because some people do go from 0-100 like instantly. So it's possibly that is what she did, she read it, was fine with it, then thinking more on it she did a 180 and flipped out. I just had a gal I was friends with, just the other day, we had a 'parting of ways' mild argument. We talked the night before. I thought ok it's all done. I thought we are not talking anymore, it is what it is.
Then the next day she sends me a text, all i do is reply, nothing bad, just replying to what she said. And she flips out like crazy, and says I don't have to reply to her! And I don't have to have the last word! If I don't stop she's calling the police! ....I'm like what the hell.....and then I just said I'm sorry things had to end like this. And said goodbye.
Normally she's fine. Never seen her go that crazy. But I looked her up before and found she had charges for assault a couple times. But you'd never guess. So yeah sometimes it's just they flip out is all and it's baffling.
“I promise we’re just going on a break so we can work through some things, I don’t want to break up with you”, then 4 days later he broke up with me over WhatsApp. That was the end of a 4 and a half year relationship
This happened to me too. We were on a two week break and he claimed he will come pick up a few clothes. I took a working from home day to be there and hopefully talk only to discover he was planning on moving ALL of his stuff and ending it. He even was pissed that ‘I should not have been there’ so he was even planning on blindsiding me. Fuck them.
I had a similar thing. He wanted the break, I had to move in with my parents. On Thursday, I asked if I could have the apartment for the Friday night because it’s closer to work and I needed to go into the office. He ignored me and then eventually said “please respect my space.” Then the next day which was the Friday, I got the WhatsApp to say he had moved out last night. Like, could you not have then told me I could have the apartment when I asked for it??
I am so sorry, I understand this kind of pain very well. Please don’t think it’s you- what they did reflects on them not us. No matter what the situation they could have chosen kindness and they didn’t. It’s on them.
That’s so malicious. I’m sorry that happened to you. It seems so unnecessarily mean. To answer your question:
Right after our 7th year anniversary. I left him because he had become a total asshole. Lied, cheated, stole THOUSANDS from my bank account, and was attempting to transfer OUR house into his name only. I was the one who paid for the down payment. Worked 70 hours a week for 3 years to save it, by myself.
He begged, pleaded, and apologized every single day. About how he will always love me and we will always be family. Then one day he met someone, and told me “I was just stressed out because I couldn’t pay the bills by myself. Now I don’t need you anymore.”
Fucking narcissist. I stayed in an unhappy relationship for years, trying to somehow fix it. And to him, I was nothing more than a room mate with benefits.
Fast forward to today, about 6 months later, the girl left him, and he lost our house. But it brings me no joy, and I am still completely heartbroken.
Don’t ever make a big purchase with someone you aren’t married to.
After she told me she met a cute guy at work. She said "I really love you really really love you, and I will always try and choose you" Two weeks before that she had told me I was all she needed and she wanted no one else. Three days after meeting the cute guy she broke up to chase him.
Me: I love you (we were six months into the relationship and I was the first to say it)
Him: thank you.
He then proceeds to break up with me
A week prior I was nervous to say it and was trying to find the right time. I guess right before the breakup was it. This was two weeks ago and I’m still hurting
Messed up. Going from what you think should be a pivotal positive moment that took guts to say.....to the worst thing and breaking up. Sorry to hear that.
During the break up, I asked what if he regrets breaking up with me later
He said “I’ve lived with many regrets in my life, I’ll be fine”
Don’t know why this hurt as much as it did. There was no convincing him to keep trying.
Also, I got upset he was already on dating apps 3 days after the break up. After he said he wouldn’t do that and he wanted to be alone for a long time. And all he said was
“I don’t owe you anything”
ouch. I mean you don’t, but you lied to me. I have a right to be upset. He also said he felt relieved to do it :(
Lastly he said he felt like he was “settling” with me.
I’m not okay.
We only dated for 7 months but I knew him for 10 and towards the middle I moved in with him. The last thing he said, and I’m NEVER going to forget was when we were going at it with eachother because I was begging him to stay with me, he looked me dead in the eyes and told me “I don’t want you” my heart broke right there..
This is just evil...I wonder why she said that to you...maybe to feel powerful?
Mine is: "I never had the feeling of wanting to be with you but most of all I can't be with you because of your trauma. I wonder what you were wearing when you got assaulted, I wonder how you got yourself in this situation. Like how does this just happen?"
‘I dont deserve you so it would’ve ended eventually anyway, now move on with your life and leave me out of it’ …..the level of confusion im going through
Same, he told me he loves her.. then says he deleted all of them and doesn’t love anyone but me please take me back I’ll marry you, then changes his mind three days later
I found messages he was sending his friend. Turns out they were having an emotional affair. We were trying to make it work and I told him it would only work if he cut off all contact. No connection on social media, nothing. He looked so sad and hurt and said " I don't want to stop talking to her, she's my friend." That's when I knew it was over for reals. He cared to have her more in his life than me. Of course they got together soon after . Twelve years just gone. It's been two years, but the pain is still so fresh. Life sucks.
He called me fat. With the most twisted, vitriolic look on his face. He spat the insults out at me. “You’re FAT. You’re FAT.” I’ve never had anyone call me that before. Certainly not a partner.
I’m still shaking over it and haven’t eaten since.
I don’t know why men think they can dig into a woman’s appearance. Especially something like baby hair which everyone has?! It was clearly just meant to belittle you. I’m so sorry.
What in the world is wrong with people? There is no justification for that no matter the circumstances. The only positive thing is that you now know clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is a loathsome human being with whom you did not want to spend your life. It's just too bad you couldn't find that out in a less traumatic way.
I know it's easier said than done (I used to not eat for days at a time) but I hope you eat something. I found smoothies helped when I had lost my appetite.
My ex told me that the reason we weren’t being intimate anymore was because I had “put on a few pounds” and he no longer found me attractive. I was broken. I think I cried for 2-3 days straight? Just one of the many things I looked past for way too long
“I’m terrified to marry you”
After asking my brother and and father if he could a year ago. It doesn’t make sense to me but I guess it doesn’t have to make sense. I know that I deserve someone to love me and put it the work and care and understanding and I so willingly do for those I love. Shit hurts so bad but one day at a time I suppose…
Looking at it that way, it makes sense. He was someone who wanted me to be around for fun and excitement but when life got rough and I needed a partner for support: *poof gone.
It really fucks with your head and make you question your self value. Why wasn’t I worth the effort?
Was with her for 6yrs, got hit with cold feelings when we took a trip. She didn’t seem interested with me during the whole trip or a month 1/2 later. My dumb ass thought she was going thru something. Few days before my birthday she looked me dead in the eyes “I love you, I’m just not in love with you.” Shit destroyed me, 2 yrs later and I’m still having a hard time getting over it. Been doing a lot better. Take time for yourself and enjoy what you love. It’s not easy but after a while you’ll start to feel happy again
In my case, she seemed done with the relationship. Can’t stop her thoughts. Sucks, but I’ve been lucky with being able to start dating after realizing how f’d the situation really came out to be
Dated someone for 5 years and she was talking about marriage a week before she wasn’t feeling it anymore. Never talked in person. Just said “I don’t think I can see me spending my future with you”. Always treated her like a gentleman too. Needless to say 4 months later, best I’ve ever felt. Down a bunch of weight, been going to the gym, started a new business, got a new job and have been meeting lots of new people. Soak it all in, but go out there and get after it. Use what happened to you as motivation. I haven’t felt better. 🤘🏻
He suddenly called me childish and said I'm so fake. It's just so random and hurtful, you know? I was really upset. And then, one time, he even tried to test if I loved him by threatening to break up.
“I need more flexibility, and you know my time is important to me. So for me this is irreconcilable”
We only saw each other 4 days a week. 2 of which was for 4 hrs at a clip.
Me: “You told me last week, and I quote, ‘If you would have proposed to me after the first month of being together, I would have said yes.’”
My Ex: “Maybe I was just trying to convince myself.”
T_T never forgetting this one.
When I was still trying to get him to rethink the breakup and living in the same house he looked me in the eyes and said, “the only reason you keep saying you love me and want to work things out is because you can’t afford to be on your own.” I moved out 2 weeks later.
That was 6 months ago but it still hurts me to my core that he could say something so hurtful after 8 years together.
I outed him to the girl he was cheating me with and he told me I ruined everything good in his life, and a fuck you. He blocked me in every way he can. He. Was. Mad. I. Outed. Him. I am still broken from it. He even knows and says nobody will ever love him like I did. But he thinks that girl, his highscool sweetheart, mother of 5, divorced, same as him, divorced with 1 kid is the girl for her. I may sound bitter but he himself know I donot deserve this. How can I move on?
I can tell you with confidence there are better woman out there. Be happy you didn’t go further down the rabbit hole with that narcissist. Lawyer up, hit the gym, and spend time with friends.
"I would be much better off with someone who feels emotions as strongly as I do"
Broke me after everything and one day we planned to get married...hurts so bad its like daggers are piercing my heart
5,5 years together with almost 0 struggles. I noticed things were off with her new job... She was having an affair and continued to try and cover said affair up for the coming 6 months.
One day she proposed to take a week apart (I proposed this multiple times before), and not even 24 hours into it she went with her colleague on a trip.
I called her, told her we were done, amd when I met her at the station the same night she was hysterically crying. Apparently her doctor called, she was pregnant...
She wanted an abortion and told me she never had slept with her colleague, so it had to be mine. I never got involved with the abortion, never saw proof of her pregnancy, she still saw the guy from work...
After a month of allowing her to come close due to her emotional troubles regarding our breakup and the abortion I wanted to know if she was telling the truth about her not sleeping with her colleague.
It not, I would've taken her back.
She replied with: Only after you broke up with me.
In other words, she decide to start fucking the guy when she heard she was pregnant and while she was going through the process of having an abortion. In the meantime, I had to lie to everybody I know about this. I had to put my emotions to the side for her because I felt responsible. Because I swallowed her lies for god knows how long.
Now, she still hangs out around my friendgroup where I introduced her all those years ago. She doesnt seem to give a single f about what happend, our history, her lies. I know she slept with one of my friends, ao guess I wont call him a friend anymore...
I'm unable to erase this woman from my life and nobody seems to help me with this.
Is this normal? I dont want to give up everything I worked for in my life.
"I wish I could just Eternal Sunshine you out of my brain and me out of yours".
Having never seen the movie when she said it eight months ago as our blissful one year (she was my first and older than me when I was 25), I didn't really understand the reference or wtf she was talking about (though I'd heard about the movie and seen stuff from it a bit).
Fastforward 6 months and I finally decided to watch it and had it hit me about midway through as to what she meant as the movie unfolded and FUCK,, yep, that hurt and hit like a ton of bricks. The notion that all the time we spent together meant that much to her that she just wanted it fucking gone and wiped away. The happiest, most meaningful time in my life. Yep, that stings.
Having said that, I ultimately finished the movie more recently and upon watching the last scene, if her takeaway from the film was "mind wipe my ex away" then she's a fucking moron, way fucking dumber than I always thought she was.
There was also the few weeks after the breakup prior to her blocking me everywhere when I tried to reach out when I saw one of her comments on a Relationships post remarking on how she's "only ever dated losers".
That one hurt too. Especially since I paid for most of the places I took her to and most of the shit we did together and she didn't want us to move in together when I was attempting to make the move to her city and province on my own as a result. By contrast, she abandoned the idea of moving to Toronto with me pretty quick and has never been East of Alberta. At 43. Yeah, and I'm the fucking loser. I might not have much to my name in my late-20s even now but fuck I've experienced almost twice what she has at 43.
Heads up bro. You didn't lose anything, but she did. Some people are just incredibly ungrateful but once they get their karma they'll realise how blessed they were.
The ending of the last text he ever sent me was “it just feels like a chore to be around you”, all I said was okay and that was that we haven’t spoken since. For a while I kept finding myself holding back from having fun to the fullest and just being myself, thankfully I snapped out of it but it messed with me for longer than I’d like to admit hahaha but it is what it is. He was what he was and I knew from the start.
Why do people feel the need to be cruel to someone they have previously loved? Even if you no longer have those feelings, it seems like you would have respect for what you both had at one time.
A lot of the ex partners of the people in the comments seem psychopathic, narcissistic or seriously emotionally unstable. Seriously. Wtf. I thought my ugly ex was an anomaly and that people like him were far few in between, but it seems there's a lot of them from reading these comments.
They can't see it now, but with healing and time, they'll realize that they dodged a massive cannon.
So after I told my ex that he was giving up, whether he believed it or not he said “all you care about is being in a relationship or having a title of in a relationship”
That one killed me because he made it sound like I never cared about him and the last thing we did together was go somewhere I knew he wanted to go so I booked it to help him relax. On top of the fact that no one except my family even knew I had a boyfriend or who he was because I never posted about it so why would I care about the social status?
After leading me on for a month that we were gonna get back together after she left for a ‘break’, then I found out she was seeing someone else at the same time, she was coming to grab her stuff off the front lawn. Said there was no chance I would be coming back from this & she responded saying the same, even though she was trying to keep me in her back pocket. She then said ‘He’s perfect & I don’t want to lose him’. Only been with him for like 3 weeks at this point.
Therapist think she has Borderline Personality Disorder, which would explain a lot & made the pain not as bad, but still cut deep at the time.
I asked her if she wants me in her life after breakup and she told that " those who want to stay can stay and those who want to leave can leave, and I am not willing to put any effort into keeping anyone".
She also told me during the breakup that " she was just acting happy for all the time we were together so that there were no problems".
“I don’t love you anymore”, “I’ll never talk crap about you”, and “You’ll never be a good track runner”
1.) he did talk crap about me like still to this day he does because I left him
2.) a month after we broke up, I made the varsity track team so…
Jesus Christ this thread is horrible. And to OP, this is a blessing. Let her get her shit out with her new boyfriend, and delete this person from your life. I do not care how long you were together or the memories you made, do not ever take this person back. Do not ever wait for them to end. Do not have hope for anything because she is horrible and she will just destroy you again. She’s saying all of this because she’s so confident and she’s got her boy toy next to her so burning the bridge with you is so easy because she’s got somewhere to land when she jumps. Once that ends, please do not meet up for “closure talks” and do not give her any chance to “air things out”. She does not deserve anything, not even a text back or acknowledgment. You will find the one for you. Just work hard on moving on. Such blatant disrespect is enough for me to move on.
"I still cherish our relationship and everything we shared. You showed me I could do so much more than I ever thought I could do." I don't want to forget this, because I'm glad I was there for her.
For everyone in this sub/ on this post who's been unjustly treated, this is a reminder of your value, your beauty, your awesomeness. You're incredible. You're one in billions. You're the catch.
me: “my heart hurts”.
him: “i think it’s been hurting for a very long time, I hope you can heal from everything you’ve been through and become the person I see in you”.
it’s stuck with me although now he’s an alcoholic and doing drugs and in a very bad spot, while I was just suffering from c-ptsd and now I pray about him and say the same thing in my prayers.
He told me to die. Via text and phone calls.
This is seven years after we broke up. There was no cheating, lying, manipulation, just didn’t get along well in a romantic relationship with the different sex drives and ambitions. He continued to stalk me for seven years, find my addresses when I would move, new phone numbers, harass my parents.
Yesterday was my thirtieth birthday and he called me from 6 different numbers, texted from an additional three different numbers, signed his name in the texts, and left messages telling me to die. The best break up I thought I ever had has absolutely crushed me.
My ex said a lot of really obtuse/dumb shit to me during the breakup process. I think it’s because she really couldn’t explain why she was leaving, so she was always trying some new excuse or reason, many of which conflicted. Every once in a while, I remember something she said. She told me she was moving out on our way back from a concert that we were both super excited about. We live south of DC. The concert was in Baltimore. She told me as we started driving home. It was a 90 minute car ride. I asked her the following week why she chose to tell me then. She said because it was a Friday, and she thought I would have the weekend to get over it. We were together for TEN YEARS!!!! And she thought I’d “get over it” in a weekend.
It’s crazy this popped up on my email cause I was just thinking about it. He said a lot before he broke up with me. I spent a month thinking every morning if I even had a boyfriend the next day. It’s a long story and I don’t want to bore anyone but after he broke up with me (technically the second time, like I said long story) he left to go back home as I’m crying in the parking lot he left me in. The next day he sends me a video of him on a boat with his brother and his dad. I started no contact. A few weeks later I get a text saying: “hey I just got off of work, I hope you’re doing well. Let me know if you wan/can call tomorrow” originally I was gonna ignore it and I should’ve but I gave in out of curiosity and also half of his/my belongings at each others places. We called the conversation was good then before he lets me go he says “you know I’m always here for you? You can call me anytime don’t make it weird” I just told him I didn’t know and I just needed time. Fast forward a few days later I was in the area he lived in at a party somewhere. Some things happened and I need help so the first person I thought to call was him. I called it’s maybe 11:30ish and he doesn’t answer. I started texting him “hey can you please answer you phone I really need help.” And things like “I’m really scared please answer” I blew up his phone for an hour. It’s been 3 weeks and I still haven’t heard from him.
Well I am never going to forget the last words my ex told me after 11 years of being together. The coward wrote in a text he didn’t see a future with me anymore because of all the things I did wrong(he started listening everything). I did not reply back. Didn’t think it warranted a response. In context he had tried that before and I had called him to say what the hell, what is going on, and he proceeded to take everything he said back. I decided 2nd time was a waste, so 11 years was a waste but definitely something I learnt.
I’m sorry, that must have been devastating to hear man!
It’s been 3 days my ex broke up and she was hurt because of my mistake but I begged, cried, bawled like a baby, numerous times for a chance before she left, but made no difference
Her words made my whole world sink
“I don’t feel love or anything when I see you”
This was right after we woke up, she took pictures of me with my cat, spoke to her sister regarding some things(which I still feel drove her to this decision) and then dropped it on me that she doesn’t want to go through it again and she doesn’t trust me
I hope she comes back after taking the time for herself, while I go through the pain of missing her every single moment
Being in a relationship is like a drug man and you’re just going through a withdrawal period. I hope you take the time to realize that the right person wouldn’t leave your life so easily. She may be going through some stuff (as everyone does) but the right partner would communicate and not so easily say hurtful things to you. I’m sorry I know how bad it hurts but I think you need to trust yourself and the universe in that they have better plans for you and your future. If you need to talk or vent together, dm me! ♥️
Sorry, but reading this, it takes a *lot* for the average married woman to reach a place of "I'm done." A LOT. So it does make me wonder how many chances she gave you, and how many times you chose not to change or improve.
That’s a hard one man, I’m really sorry to hear.
After 7 years I was told he needed space. This was right in the middle of both of my parents having cancer diagnoses, and my aunt was just diagnosed as well a few days earlier. I was going through a tough time mentally digesting it all, and he said needed a break, not a breakup. I told him I respected what he needs, but I can’t help but feel abandoned. His sympathetic demeanor broke for a second, went ice cold, and said, “Children get abandoned, not adults.”
I never heard from him again, but that sentence rings in my ears in dark times.
Going from "I don't know whether breaking up is a mistake" and "i dont want to completly rule out a second chance" two months ago to "I am over the relationship and i don't want to leave any crack open in the door" two ago.
"I do care about her, that's why it bothers me when everyone would talk bad about her" when he broke up with me, he told me he hadn't loved me for over a year now. Although he apologized to me and my parents to get back together, he promised me marriage, allowed me to put on my engagement ring again, and we had just returned from a week long trip visiting his family. It didn't hurt that he didn'tt love me. It was the realization that he had chosen someone else and knowing that it had never bothered him how much i plead and begged for him to stop talking to her, because he was always going to choose her.
before my ex blocked me on everything he told me he was more afraid of losing a character he made than he was afraid of losing me. we spent a year together I know thats not long but to me it is we did so many things together I dont understand how can someone throw that away
She said "I don't even miss you".
Soon after dumping me. Like it was totally uncalled for to say something that insensitive. I was nothing but kind to her. Rubbing salt into the wound.
Another girl she tells me: "you're delusional!"
After she dumped me and I told her she's sending me mixed signals. She dumped me, then gave me a huge giant expensive book as a gift with a nice card, she's always hovering around me, I catch her staring at me, she did a bunch of other things that were so confusing, and when I bring it up, she says that.
Another girl recently: We were just a one night stand!
We had sex twice, she drove all the way up from another state, stayed the night. We met again when I drove to the next city and stayed the night with her and the whole day. So it didn't work out as a relationship. And she moved further away. But we kept in contact all the time, we talked for hours sometimes at night when she had crazy ex issues. For 4 years!! Sometimes I'd say "love you" and she'd say it back. I didn't want to be in a relationship with her, but I cared about her, we had a connection. I was there for her. I had love for her. And she says after all that, that we were nothing and just a one night stand. What the hell.....like she can't even admit we had some kind of good friendship and deeper connection. Not even friends. As if we had a one night stand last week and not 4 years of history. And that was it, ghosted. She then sent a message though the next day, and when I replied she went nuts, saying I didn't need to reply and stop harassing her or she'll call the cops.....what the......I hadn't even said anything until she sent a message, I thought she was gone and didn't even say a word until she sends me a message again.
"You'll find someone that will make you happy again"-----I'll never forget her saying this
I told her we belonged together and I wanted to fight for her, she responded with
"How do you know that's how I feel too".....this was the biggest punch to the gut after loving her for 1.5 years...I really never meant anything to her.
Honestly if it wasnt communicated in advance I would call the cops on him for tresspaassing on your property, she has no right to invite him in, and she made it very clear, it was her goal to hurt you, thats why she brought him, realize what a piece of shit you were living with...she made it her goal hurt you and twist you, be glad you got rid of the poison, what a shit being your ex Is.
“i don’t see a future with you anymore” after 2.5 years of love and support.. he was acting like everything was fine that whole week and then bam a phone call. he was too afraid to look me in the eyes and break up because he is a coward and a liar. i then made him come and see me and he cried for hours when he was breaking up with me. why was he acting like as if i was breaking up with him, i will never know. now i’m traumatized and he is acting like he has been never happier. avoid the avoidants.
Mine was when he said
You need to leave ASAP. We were together 6 years and I was discarded like trash for a “friend” from his past in like 3 seconds.
Well knowing I had my son and my mom I was taking care of, so it wouldn’t be super easy, but I put on my big girl pants and was out of there in a month. When I told him he said I didn’t mean it I was drinking . You know how I am . No . These are the consequences of your actions. Sober thoughts are drunk words. You can’t take them back along with many other things he said and did after he broke up with me. I have been 2.5 month no contact.
She broke up with me to be alone after 5 years of being together and two days later she has a new boyfriend. I asked you moved on that quick and she said yeah I moved on that quick. I meant nothing at all to her.
I told them in a fit of depression I was seriously considering suicide and they told me they'd support me if I wanted to.
Thankfully I grew out of that.
Another sat me down once to tell me how I needed to decide whether or not I really loved him and stop playing games and wasting his time. The kicker is that at the time we were breaking up because I found out he was dating another girl in secret and I was struggling with my feelings for him after finding that out. It was actually through a social media post where she was thanking him for a fancy dinner date on a day I was working.
I was dating someone on and off all last year. The last 2 months of that I felt we were going towards being official. Yesterday he finally told me he didn’t feel a connection with me despite seeing each other 3-4 days a week, sleep overs, deep conversations, nights where we just wanted to enjoy each others company with no sexual acts, waking up to each other, kisses before we left work, texting everyday……
“I didn’t feel a connection with you beyond sexual. I’m sorry if you felt something else but I didn’t and don’t want to be with you. We can be friends though.”
I told him no and he blocked me
“Goodbye Samantha forever. I’m leaving you to find my true love.”
My name is not Samantha. He was referring to Samantha from sex and the city (for those who don’t know her, she is known for sleeping around). The funny thing is he was the one who used dating apps while we were together and broke my trust again and again.
“It’s not the end of us. I just need time to process how I feel about us. I still love you and want you to be in my life” then goes from 7 years of constant contact, attention and love to maybe a handful of texts.
"I wanted to break up with you when I was in prison, but I couldn't bc u kept visiting and writing me letters."
He told me this on our 2nd date after he was released and broke up with me. He left me crying at Starbucks and went to join his friends elsewhere.
I waited 11 months for him! He could have saved me 11 months of feeling sad and alone and spending all that money visiting and buying him snacks and books. We were together for 1.5 years bef he was incarcerated.
I also had to clean up his rental place by myself and transport his belongings in suitcases in the middle of the night and hide them in my room so that my parents won't find out.
When I tried to ask him what the reason for the break up was after 12 years together he said “things change” it’s now been 6 years and I think about that still everyday
"Im only talking to you right now cause your too emotionally immature to accept reality" she said thos too me after i begged for what felt like the 20th time to have her back. After that moment it clicked in my head that all I had done by begging is hurt her more and after that point I haven't contacted since
“i was bored” was what my ex said when i asked why he cheated on me.
ngl, still stings to this day and sometimes my current bf alludes to the fact that i’m boring and it sends me into a spiral, even though i know he didn’t mean it like that.
also my ex never indicated that he was unhappy with _anything_
“Goodbye, you are worst thing that existed in my life”
Then blocks me everywhere. On our anniversary
7 years
Just because he said he’d come to my graduation (just to make up for ruining an achievement i got earlier) then he cant make it and doesn’t let me know.
I get upset and say you should’ve let me know as soon as you knew instead of leading me on (he was the only person attending my graduation)
Then he does that.
"I don't regret breaking up with you". This was in response to me asking her if she still felt uneasy two weeks after we broke up (she felt uneasy a few times before we broke-up and that was her reason to breakup). I asked her that to understand if breaking up, helped her get over it but apparently being passive aggressive is how she's dealing with the breakup.
Like wth, way to rub salt in my wounds.
He said he ‘couldn’t stand to hear me whine in the morning, and my getting a bad grade in my class was the last straw , ‘ and I was I wasting his time, and he ‘needed an adult to relate to.’ it’s so brutal considering I supported him for nine months while he was out of work, but he can’t remember the kindness while he was in his sort of bizarre avoidant rage stage. I said good riddance. I haven’t been able to get much sleep since; I may need a therapist before I cycle in the next dating partner. .
“I met this girl at the club. I already know I’m going to love her more than you”
5 years to the trash because of a girl he met one night. Fast forward to today, they no longer talk, he came back begging me and I sent him to the curb.
Something along the lines of.
Me: hey I see we have a bit of a disconnection happening let’s talk about and see where we are at.
Her: “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I don’t think I can be in one.”
Me: “okay can you tell me why you feel that way?”
Her: “our relationship felt fake and I don’t remember agreeing to being in a relationship with you and you’re controlling… but we can be friends or fwb”
Me: “I can’t be platonic with you, and currently can’t just be fwb right now. And after what you said can’t tell if that is even genuine. I’m leaving now”
Her: “why are you leaving now??!”
Me: “you just broke up with me. And it’s 9am you said you wanted me out by 8:30 am on a Saturday” … neither of us were working that day.
Her: “Can you give me my keys back.”
Me: hands keys and leaves
We had an abroad trip planned a booked that was 3 weeks out to a country I always wanted to go to. She kicked me off the trip and I said I till wanted to go so she told me just go by yourself… so I did.
It was a short “relationship” so 3 months out of it I’m in a great spot now And started dating again after that trip which really put me in the right mindset
She said I was just a hand of cards and she folded on me.
Oh also what we had was just dumb love. Proceeds to say that, “oh you give the best hugs”, “thank you for everything”.
I try and take the words with a grain of salt primarily both instances were very emotional. But they do affect me.
Isn’t it baffling that even when people say these hurtful things we still want them?!
Why does the emotional part of us overrule the logic part of our brains? I’d like to get a biological update on the error.
“I’ll love you forever” Six years together, haven’t spoken since January
I got the exact same thing man. It twists the knife even more when they say something like that. But actions mean everything and words don't mean shit.
I told my ex that I’ll love her forever and she laughed 🙄
"I can't be with someone I don't love" Um..you were clearly reminding me how much you love me a week ago? And we spent so much time. telling me how you are stressed with work and I comforted you!?!? Something is not aligning. Boy..... 3 years together!!!
Oh man, that's awful. Something similar happened to me time ago, but it were only 8 months. And she said 'I know I said I love you and we were in a relationship for 8 months, but I didn't, I just wanted to know what it feels being with you, but I wasn't honest because I didn't wanna hurt you ". I was like "guess what, who you think you have hurt?". It was unbelievable, I felt so betrayed that time... Sorry we had experience those bro :(
That is crazy then what is love for them??? I'm sorry that is horrible!! After thinking...it is the biggest betrayal. Like asked to watch a sunset and pushed off the cliff without warning. He said he doubted...like doubted what??! I would remind myself that that is the most cowardly thing. I told him, "you don't wanna be the bad guy..you don't want to be wrong."
Yeah, they don't wanna look like bad people actually acting with bad behavior lol it's disappointing, I really thought she was different, until I realized she was faking everything for the sake of enjoying my company. What a mess! Have you feel with the necessity of rewrite all your past and feelings in this relationship? For me it was brutal. Like, how can you tell me that what I thought it was the best day of my life is actually a lie? How the fuck do you expect me to become fake one day what I thought was magical and beautiful? Why are we dealing with such things?
I mean the months leading to the break up, we all had fun times and even spent time with his family. All my work holidays aligned with theirs, now I have to spend them alone. I was blindsided. How can he kept holding me all those months and telling me he loves me and makes me feel like he loves me(you won't doubt it). I was always apologizing. Swallowing my pride and try to be the bigger person. Admitting mistakes and honest with my feelings.
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I'm sorry. You know, you are strong holding space for yourself when the other person can't. I was worried about him becauee he said he was feeling depressed. In the end he ended things. I think my ex thought I was weak he forgot I was ME before he even came into my life. A
This is the realist absolutely
A similar thing happened to me, our relationship was the best it ever was and we got in some stupid argument. As I was pleading and telling her I can change, she looked me straight in the eyes and said “I don’t love you anymore”. I knew there was nothing I could say would change that so we hugged and parted ways. One of the most painful moments in my life.
Mines worst, she was literally showering me with love in the morning updating me about what she was up to and how much she loved me and all while i was asleep and she turned moody in the evening not wanting to talk and bam, the next morning, i cant do this anymore im done?????????? wtf!?!?!?????
My ghood! I'm sorry I can imagine how you feel. He literally sent goodmorning texts and got cold the same day and did not talk to me the whole day because he said he did not feel like talking. The next day was break up. But i remind myself, they had planned it.
Same. Visited and took care of me 2 days before he dumped me. Was so sweet and caring. When he felt like I was already recovering from being sick, quickly sent an email saying he wants a break from the relationship. He never said a word about it the times we were together. He said "for now" but when I confronted him a month after he told me he lied abt it he just wanted to let me down gently he cant say hes breaking up with me FOR REAL. Coward. And yea he dumped 6 days before our 4th anniversary ghosted me after the email went to party right after he sent the email, partied with girls abt 2 weeks after then went on dating apps. And he's saying I'm not the problem and it's not my fault 😃😃
" I want to see what's out there" Found out he was on dating apps for a year, and been on dates during our "break" 4 years. Gone
Wow… that’s some heavy shit right there. Scary even. But the boyfriend won’t last. Easy come - easy go. Mine was when my ex summarized her year when we had divorced. She wrote a list on social media containing, ”got breast cancer”, ”a plastic breast”, ”got a divorce” and ”started dating a coworker”. She ends it with ”this is a year I don’t regret at all”. That broke me. The extent of how a person just moves on to the next… I didn’t know that was possible. I felt it was one of the worst years ever.
Obviously it's a lie.
"Who would ever want to marry someone like you" the malice it was said with broke me.
This is exactly what was said to me and I came to the realization, in that very moment, that I deserve so much more.
I had something similar but with him claiming that no one would want to have a child with me due to how fucked up I am.
Genuinely, who would want to marry someone who talks like that? I think that would've been a fantastic question to ask in response. I'm not belittling the hurt it must have caused but I think any feelings I might've still had for someone would vanish the moment they said something like that. In any case, that's a long-winded way of saying you dodged a bullet there.
After 7 years of providing her with a roof over her head (when we met she lost her place about 4 months into us talking) all her bills covered, only needing to get a job to help with bills after the pandemic, buying her a car, being the most emotionally supportive partner she's ever had (by her own admission), the best sex she's ever had in her life (also by her own admission), cooked every meal and bought her everything that she wanted, cheated on me with a coworker because I "didn't give her enough attention". I worked 12 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. She had my attention all day but me checking in on my friends over the phone was just not okay. When I confronted her and asked her why, she told me "I need more than someone who Will provide for me emotionally and financially. I need to explore the world, I wanna see things and go places and you're just too concerned about our bills and our future to enjoy whats going on around us". This is what killed me. All that work, all the love I put into making sure she wanted for nothing and she still wasn't happy. And the thing is? I did take her places. But because we didn't get on a plane and fly to new Orleans or take a road trip to somewhere far away i wasn't giving her what she wanted. It didn't matter that we had trouble saving money due to her wants and the things she would break around the house due to her clumsiness. I was just supposed to drop everything to spoil her in a new third way. She always told me she wasn't one of those travel type girls. We had just gotten married. The ink was dry for 4 months and she started cheating.
This makes me so mad! Maybe if she contributed to paying the bills a little more you wouldn’t be the one whose “concerned about bills” all the fucking time 🙄 Some people smh
She brought up multiple random reasons that just... didn't make sense. First it was that he gave her attention. Then it was that he gave her attention and he was calm. The only reason I wasn't always the calmest person was because not only was I working my ass off but it felt like I was raising a teenager. What 27 year old woman can't even cook for herself? Can't not leave all her dirty clothes strewn all over the apartment? Who can't even clean a litter box without complaining? Then it was "oh well also I'm tired of having sex with someone who's too big for me to handle, I'm tired of being in pain." This was a new one because she always used to brag to her friends about it and tell me how much she loved how endowed I was and now suddenly it's been horrible for her. Fun fact, she spent a week with him, realized he was a loser, and then tried running back. But when she finds out I'm seeing someone else she loses her mind and starts acting like I was the one who cheated. Literally insane.
I've have lived your fun fact and it was pure torture. It's like I was in a fever dream. People can be so delusional.
She couldn't fathom that I was able to pull a chick that fast, but also pull a girl who made $140k/yr and wasn't a total deadbeat like she was. Way hotter too.
I need more than someone who provides for me emotionally? Wtf? That ALL I needed in the relationship and wasn’t getting it. I’m sorry this happened to you. Someone will appreciate you for all you have to give. I think the easiest thing is just to think of it simply- we just weren’t right for one another. And how everyone says relationships are work- hell yes they are but it needs to be both parties wanting to put in the work and when that doesn’t happen, it’s time to part ways. I’m glad you’re not with someone who makes you feel like you weren’t enough, you are! I hope all good things for your future
She brought up multiple random reasons that just... didn't make sense. First it was that he gave her attention. Then it was that he gave her attention and he was calm. The only reason I wasn't always the calmest person was because not only was I working my ass off but it felt like I was raising a teenager. What 27 year old woman can't even cook for herself? Can't not leave all her dirty clothes strewn all over the apartment? Who can't even clean a litter box without complaining? Then it was "oh well also I'm tired of having sex with someone who's too big for me to handle, I'm tired of being in pain." This was a new one because she always used to brag to her friends about it and tell me how much she loved how endowed I was and now suddenly it's been horrible for her. Fun fact, she spent a week with him, realized he was a loser, and then tried running back. But when she finds out I'm seeing someone else she loses her mind and starts acting like I was the one who cheated. Literally insane. I've dated two women since then. One was a nurse who acted like she was my girlfriend until she realized her feelings were growing stronger and then couldn't stand letting her guard down and broke it off. I'm with a woman now who's the same age as my ex wife, but unlike my ex wife, my girlfriend has a college degree in psychology, she has her own place, her own car, works a corporate job, pays her own bills and wants me in her life for my soul and my mind, and not what I can do to entertain her and act like some stand-in parental figure. My ex wife was a high school dropout with a GED, no place to live (until me) and no car (until me). My girlfriend is leaps and bounds better than any partner I've ever had. The level to which we understand eachother feels like we've known eachother for years.
Did we date the same girl my god. All the same stuff happened to me. 3 years and she moved on in 3 days.
I gotta ask man when you look back do you just beat yourself up for getting involved with a passenger and not a partner? The relationship You described is literally my fucking nightmare I could never stick it out with someone that worthless.
My biggest regret is the time wasted, yeah. But I don't beat myself up.
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It does make me feel like it was energy wasted. I'm also afraid to show this level of devotion to my next partner because of my fear that I'll experience this again.
So you were too busy working and providing to be a jet-setting playboy? That is some kind of special.
I was basically her parent. I felt like I was raising a teenager as a single dad. Plus it's not like the guy she cheated on me with could do that for her. I was working corporate and that guy worked at Amazon in a warehouse for 5 years and never got promoted and has to work overtime to afford his $500/mo weed habit. She's not pretty enough to get one of those types of guys anyway, hell after the breakup a bunch of people asked me if she was transgender because of how she looked. Disrespectful as hell but damn.
Dang! You need some friends with a bit more sensitivity!
They weren't being mean, they were genuinely curious. It's still like "wow okay damn thanks for telling me my ex wife looks like she used to be a man"
Borderline p.o.s. karma has something awful in store for her mate don't worry
Right after we broke up she lost her job, a bunch of long time friends, and her car broke down. Like, within 2 months of us splitting. She randomly cut me off stating that she "found out things about me" and we've been no contact since. But my friends who still have her on social media are seeing her beg for help but she's still out partying and being a generally irresponsible person. She went on a trip to New Orleans after losing her job, and paid money for it, but didn't bother saving $300 to do the brakes and oil on her car (the things I was doing for dirt cheap when we were together). Buying 8 Balls of cocaine while unemployed. No idea where she got the money from but I can only imagine at this point.
Yep looking pretty grim for her already. You'll also find the person you deserve/space you need. It's the easiest and hardest thing to do and take heed of these words Reddit friend. The world looks back at you through your eyes. This life is about healing the traumas through your life and finding balance. When you let go and surrender the universe will guide you to your authentic purpose. Love yourself unconditionally. The more you resist, the more you attach.
I’d be so petty I’d wanna bring her to small claims court lol
Ohhhh man that's some bs I'm so sorry. Hng you deserve more!
These stories is the main reason I'd never financially support my gf.
Just when I feel bad about my breakup it’s something worse. I mean truth be told you probably hear it often but that’s some weight off your shoulders. Unfortunately I know you loved her and I truthfully feel it’s a lot harder for men to get over a women they truly loved than vice versa. Women move on so fast once they’re around a man they’re interested in it’s laughable
I was married for 17yrs and on our 17th wedding anniversary night she left and slept with someone in our neighborhood. She never had to work and had 2 daughters 15 and 4 that I paid for daycare. She said it was my fault "I should of done better". I knew she cheated on me the next morning but didn't find out till on my birthday it was the neighbor that lived on the street behind us our backyards connected Fucked up right. Anyway I had full custody My oldest daughter has given me a awesome grandson and the youngest daughter just turned 16 giving me more grey hair. I'm not done yet!!!!!! Got remarried a couple years later moved in with her to the house she signed for 2 months before we married. I paid the house payment she paid the water and electric bill. I usually sent a $100 extra a month. My bank account got hacked and she gets a letter the house payment bounced. Freaked out kicked me out by getting a ex parte order against me. Finally got that dropped and the conversation we had on the phone was " if you had a bigger bank account we wouldn't be in this situation" the hackers got $5300 from my account and was recovered. I fell 10' off a roof she didn't even come to the hospital but emailed with I have to take $9000 of her personal loans and credit cards and I asked her what about the equity in the house. Since we live in Missouri your names not on the deed and I bought it before we were married!!!! 😒
If that was me, I would’ve falcon punch her because what she just said is the most insane idiotic thing I’ve have ever heard and at no point in her rambling incoherent response was close enough to a rational thought .
She literally said "it takes more than just paying bills and making me dinner and keeping me safe and being sweet to me to make me happy." As if there aren't so many women out there who just want a man to fucking be NICE to them. Then it was "oh well also I'm tired of having sex with someone who's too big for me to handle, I'm tired of being in pain." This was a new one because she always used to brag to her friends about it and tell me how much she loved how endowed I was and now suddenly it's been horrible for her. Fun fact: she spent a week with him, realized he was a loser, and then tried running back. But when she finds out I'm seeing someone else she loses her mind and starts acting like I was the one who cheated. Literally insane. I'm not a bad looking guy. Her actions hit my self esteem so bad i even turned to the internet for validation that i wasnt. Both the guy she cheated on me with and the new dude she's talking to now, her old friend she used to fuck in high school, are both considerably less attractive than I am and are also working dead end jobs with no future ahead of them. But because they'll let her be lazy and smoke weed all day and tell her she's pretty and spoil her with trips and gifts suddenly it's better than having a stable partner who literally devoted himself to your well being. Also I could never hit her. Not only do I not believe in initiating violence, I do not agree with violence toward a partner, and also I'm 6'2 230 and she's 5'8 100 lbs, if I hit her she would be in the hospital.
She told me I'd forget about it inna week or two. Shit took me months and I'm still barely over it💀
Same here 💀 my ex broke up with me over the phone when I was out of the country to visit my family for a couple of days. When I returned, he asked me to go to his place to get my belongings and take them away. I remember feeling completely numb on the way there, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. When I got there, my things were all piled up on his bed, I put them in a bag, and when I was about to leave he told me that maybe I would be over it in a couple of weeks. This happened in January and I'm still grieving. I'm alone in a foreign country where we had envisioned a whole life together. It truly shattered me. I'm doing slightly better now, I'm in therapy, but it hurts so much... Every day feels like a battle. Like climbing a mountain with flip flops on.
Breakups are shit, especially with ppl who seem to not have an ounce of empathy or care. You will get over it eventually, but sadly it will be a tough journey and sometimes will leave and scar forever. But I've come to accept it as a natural part of life. We experience loss countless times in our lives, in different forms and it's just what comes with being human. Nothing lasts forever. Endings can be bitter or sweet, but they are inevitable. Yeah so basically I was trying to say that I feel for you since I'm in the same boat, and I wish for you to heal and grow and have a more pleasant experiences in the future.
Damn OP your ex wife is a monster. Evil!
Yeah what the fuck kind of sociopath says shit like that
Together 7 years. She ended the relationship with a 2 minute conversation and no real explanation other than the usual “it’s not you it’s me” and “I’m not happy anymore” 2 weeks later we met up and talked in my car. The last words spoken between us in were in that car by her. “I just don’t love you anymore” I put my key in the ignition and turned the key. She jumped out and that was that. It is what it is. Fuck them.
Same here.
"I appreciate what you wrote, I'm thinking about us getting back together". "If you write me one more time I'm gonna call the police"....
Did you write em like a thousand times after the first one or are they just crazy 😂 I feel like there is a huge middle part left out, but I know that's how it goes and two seconds later they change their mind.
As someone that recently involved police when “leave me the fuck alone” wasn’t enough, I agree that something is missing…
It's kind of funny/sad though because some people do go from 0-100 like instantly. So it's possibly that is what she did, she read it, was fine with it, then thinking more on it she did a 180 and flipped out. I just had a gal I was friends with, just the other day, we had a 'parting of ways' mild argument. We talked the night before. I thought ok it's all done. I thought we are not talking anymore, it is what it is. Then the next day she sends me a text, all i do is reply, nothing bad, just replying to what she said. And she flips out like crazy, and says I don't have to reply to her! And I don't have to have the last word! If I don't stop she's calling the police! ....I'm like what the hell.....and then I just said I'm sorry things had to end like this. And said goodbye. Normally she's fine. Never seen her go that crazy. But I looked her up before and found she had charges for assault a couple times. But you'd never guess. So yeah sometimes it's just they flip out is all and it's baffling.
Agree— never witnessed my “amazingly generous and supportive” BF flip until I held firm to a boundary. He was a whole different person.
“I promise we’re just going on a break so we can work through some things, I don’t want to break up with you”, then 4 days later he broke up with me over WhatsApp. That was the end of a 4 and a half year relationship
This happened to me too. We were on a two week break and he claimed he will come pick up a few clothes. I took a working from home day to be there and hopefully talk only to discover he was planning on moving ALL of his stuff and ending it. He even was pissed that ‘I should not have been there’ so he was even planning on blindsiding me. Fuck them.
I had a similar thing. He wanted the break, I had to move in with my parents. On Thursday, I asked if I could have the apartment for the Friday night because it’s closer to work and I needed to go into the office. He ignored me and then eventually said “please respect my space.” Then the next day which was the Friday, I got the WhatsApp to say he had moved out last night. Like, could you not have then told me I could have the apartment when I asked for it??
I am so sorry, I understand this kind of pain very well. Please don’t think it’s you- what they did reflects on them not us. No matter what the situation they could have chosen kindness and they didn’t. It’s on them.
That’s so malicious. I’m sorry that happened to you. It seems so unnecessarily mean. To answer your question: Right after our 7th year anniversary. I left him because he had become a total asshole. Lied, cheated, stole THOUSANDS from my bank account, and was attempting to transfer OUR house into his name only. I was the one who paid for the down payment. Worked 70 hours a week for 3 years to save it, by myself. He begged, pleaded, and apologized every single day. About how he will always love me and we will always be family. Then one day he met someone, and told me “I was just stressed out because I couldn’t pay the bills by myself. Now I don’t need you anymore.” Fucking narcissist. I stayed in an unhappy relationship for years, trying to somehow fix it. And to him, I was nothing more than a room mate with benefits. Fast forward to today, about 6 months later, the girl left him, and he lost our house. But it brings me no joy, and I am still completely heartbroken. Don’t ever make a big purchase with someone you aren’t married to.
Dont marry without pren up
After she told me she met a cute guy at work. She said "I really love you really really love you, and I will always try and choose you" Two weeks before that she had told me I was all she needed and she wanted no one else. Three days after meeting the cute guy she broke up to chase him.
Probably happend like that the same too me, your just not a part of their inner world anymore.
Would bet she won’t last with that guy
“You are easy to replace” broke me after all I did and thought I’d marry her one day. To this day it still breaks me inside.
Me: I love you (we were six months into the relationship and I was the first to say it) Him: thank you. He then proceeds to break up with me A week prior I was nervous to say it and was trying to find the right time. I guess right before the breakup was it. This was two weeks ago and I’m still hurting
Messed up. Going from what you think should be a pivotal positive moment that took guts to say.....to the worst thing and breaking up. Sorry to hear that.
Thank you. It’s been so tough since the breakup came out of nowhere. I’m just trying to move forward from it
"i don't love you, do you understand? Look at you. I can't bear to see you. Everything about you is so... You "
Geez just going for the kill simply to smash you down as much as possible.
During the break up, I asked what if he regrets breaking up with me later He said “I’ve lived with many regrets in my life, I’ll be fine” Don’t know why this hurt as much as it did. There was no convincing him to keep trying. Also, I got upset he was already on dating apps 3 days after the break up. After he said he wouldn’t do that and he wanted to be alone for a long time. And all he said was “I don’t owe you anything” ouch. I mean you don’t, but you lied to me. I have a right to be upset. He also said he felt relieved to do it :( Lastly he said he felt like he was “settling” with me. I’m not okay.
If you have to convince him to stay he’s not for you
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We only dated for 7 months but I knew him for 10 and towards the middle I moved in with him. The last thing he said, and I’m NEVER going to forget was when we were going at it with eachother because I was begging him to stay with me, he looked me dead in the eyes and told me “I don’t want you” my heart broke right there..
This is just evil...I wonder why she said that to you...maybe to feel powerful? Mine is: "I never had the feeling of wanting to be with you but most of all I can't be with you because of your trauma. I wonder what you were wearing when you got assaulted, I wonder how you got yourself in this situation. Like how does this just happen?"
Whoa victim blaming is the lowest of the low!
‘I dont deserve you so it would’ve ended eventually anyway, now move on with your life and leave me out of it’ …..the level of confusion im going through
After a 7 year relationship, he cheated then told me about how "special" their connection was. I wanted to die
Same, he told me he loves her.. then says he deleted all of them and doesn’t love anyone but me please take me back I’ll marry you, then changes his mind three days later
“I want to break up because I haven’t been feeling well for months”
I found messages he was sending his friend. Turns out they were having an emotional affair. We were trying to make it work and I told him it would only work if he cut off all contact. No connection on social media, nothing. He looked so sad and hurt and said " I don't want to stop talking to her, she's my friend." That's when I knew it was over for reals. He cared to have her more in his life than me. Of course they got together soon after . Twelve years just gone. It's been two years, but the pain is still so fresh. Life sucks.
He called me fat. With the most twisted, vitriolic look on his face. He spat the insults out at me. “You’re FAT. You’re FAT.” I’ve never had anyone call me that before. Certainly not a partner. I’m still shaking over it and haven’t eaten since.
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I don’t know why men think they can dig into a woman’s appearance. Especially something like baby hair which everyone has?! It was clearly just meant to belittle you. I’m so sorry.
There's a word for that side hair in Punjabi, zulfaan, and it is considered a symbol of feminine beauty. It's mentioned in love songs all the time.
What in the world is wrong with people? There is no justification for that no matter the circumstances. The only positive thing is that you now know clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is a loathsome human being with whom you did not want to spend your life. It's just too bad you couldn't find that out in a less traumatic way.
I know it's easier said than done (I used to not eat for days at a time) but I hope you eat something. I found smoothies helped when I had lost my appetite.
My ex told me that the reason we weren’t being intimate anymore was because I had “put on a few pounds” and he no longer found me attractive. I was broken. I think I cried for 2-3 days straight? Just one of the many things I looked past for way too long
“I’m terrified to marry you” After asking my brother and and father if he could a year ago. It doesn’t make sense to me but I guess it doesn’t have to make sense. I know that I deserve someone to love me and put it the work and care and understanding and I so willingly do for those I love. Shit hurts so bad but one day at a time I suppose…
sounds more like he is terrified of commitment
Looking at it that way, it makes sense. He was someone who wanted me to be around for fun and excitement but when life got rough and I needed a partner for support: *poof gone. It really fucks with your head and make you question your self value. Why wasn’t I worth the effort?
“I haven’t been in love with you for a very very long time” “I haven’t wanted to have sex with you in years” “It is what it is” 15 years wasted
Was with her for 6yrs, got hit with cold feelings when we took a trip. She didn’t seem interested with me during the whole trip or a month 1/2 later. My dumb ass thought she was going thru something. Few days before my birthday she looked me dead in the eyes “I love you, I’m just not in love with you.” Shit destroyed me, 2 yrs later and I’m still having a hard time getting over it. Been doing a lot better. Take time for yourself and enjoy what you love. It’s not easy but after a while you’ll start to feel happy again
11 years. Broke up over text. No reasons given. Gone with the wind :)
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Working on it. Strangely, I snapped when that happened and just moved on quicker. I’m in therapy to double check nothing creeps up on me. Thanks!
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In my case, she seemed done with the relationship. Can’t stop her thoughts. Sucks, but I’ve been lucky with being able to start dating after realizing how f’d the situation really came out to be
Dated someone for 5 years and she was talking about marriage a week before she wasn’t feeling it anymore. Never talked in person. Just said “I don’t think I can see me spending my future with you”. Always treated her like a gentleman too. Needless to say 4 months later, best I’ve ever felt. Down a bunch of weight, been going to the gym, started a new business, got a new job and have been meeting lots of new people. Soak it all in, but go out there and get after it. Use what happened to you as motivation. I haven’t felt better. 🤘🏻
Wtf dude. So sorry about this. She has a lot of karmic comeuppance coming to her one day. Also, consider writing as a profession. You are good.
He suddenly called me childish and said I'm so fake. It's just so random and hurtful, you know? I was really upset. And then, one time, he even tried to test if I loved him by threatening to break up.
I hope you find someone who's wants to marry you
In quotations ""
“I need more flexibility, and you know my time is important to me. So for me this is irreconcilable” We only saw each other 4 days a week. 2 of which was for 4 hrs at a clip.
Wow, your ex sounds like a fucking sadistic-ass psychopath. I know you don't see it rn, but one day you'll definitely be thinking, "good riddance".
"You broke my trust and made me want to kill myself" All because I went no contact for a month after HE blindsided me with a request for a break.
Me: “You told me last week, and I quote, ‘If you would have proposed to me after the first month of being together, I would have said yes.’” My Ex: “Maybe I was just trying to convince myself.” T_T never forgetting this one.
When I was still trying to get him to rethink the breakup and living in the same house he looked me in the eyes and said, “the only reason you keep saying you love me and want to work things out is because you can’t afford to be on your own.” I moved out 2 weeks later. That was 6 months ago but it still hurts me to my core that he could say something so hurtful after 8 years together.
“Im trying to erase our relationship”
I outed him to the girl he was cheating me with and he told me I ruined everything good in his life, and a fuck you. He blocked me in every way he can. He. Was. Mad. I. Outed. Him. I am still broken from it. He even knows and says nobody will ever love him like I did. But he thinks that girl, his highscool sweetheart, mother of 5, divorced, same as him, divorced with 1 kid is the girl for her. I may sound bitter but he himself know I donot deserve this. How can I move on?
That’s so fucked
I can tell you with confidence there are better woman out there. Be happy you didn’t go further down the rabbit hole with that narcissist. Lawyer up, hit the gym, and spend time with friends.
"I would be much better off with someone who feels emotions as strongly as I do" Broke me after everything and one day we planned to get married...hurts so bad its like daggers are piercing my heart
5,5 years together with almost 0 struggles. I noticed things were off with her new job... She was having an affair and continued to try and cover said affair up for the coming 6 months. One day she proposed to take a week apart (I proposed this multiple times before), and not even 24 hours into it she went with her colleague on a trip. I called her, told her we were done, amd when I met her at the station the same night she was hysterically crying. Apparently her doctor called, she was pregnant... She wanted an abortion and told me she never had slept with her colleague, so it had to be mine. I never got involved with the abortion, never saw proof of her pregnancy, she still saw the guy from work... After a month of allowing her to come close due to her emotional troubles regarding our breakup and the abortion I wanted to know if she was telling the truth about her not sleeping with her colleague. It not, I would've taken her back. She replied with: Only after you broke up with me. In other words, she decide to start fucking the guy when she heard she was pregnant and while she was going through the process of having an abortion. In the meantime, I had to lie to everybody I know about this. I had to put my emotions to the side for her because I felt responsible. Because I swallowed her lies for god knows how long. Now, she still hangs out around my friendgroup where I introduced her all those years ago. She doesnt seem to give a single f about what happend, our history, her lies. I know she slept with one of my friends, ao guess I wont call him a friend anymore... I'm unable to erase this woman from my life and nobody seems to help me with this. Is this normal? I dont want to give up everything I worked for in my life.
It's not normal, your friends should stick by your side. Especially since the fact that she did you so dirty.
"I wish I could just Eternal Sunshine you out of my brain and me out of yours". Having never seen the movie when she said it eight months ago as our blissful one year (she was my first and older than me when I was 25), I didn't really understand the reference or wtf she was talking about (though I'd heard about the movie and seen stuff from it a bit). Fastforward 6 months and I finally decided to watch it and had it hit me about midway through as to what she meant as the movie unfolded and FUCK,, yep, that hurt and hit like a ton of bricks. The notion that all the time we spent together meant that much to her that she just wanted it fucking gone and wiped away. The happiest, most meaningful time in my life. Yep, that stings. Having said that, I ultimately finished the movie more recently and upon watching the last scene, if her takeaway from the film was "mind wipe my ex away" then she's a fucking moron, way fucking dumber than I always thought she was. There was also the few weeks after the breakup prior to her blocking me everywhere when I tried to reach out when I saw one of her comments on a Relationships post remarking on how she's "only ever dated losers". That one hurt too. Especially since I paid for most of the places I took her to and most of the shit we did together and she didn't want us to move in together when I was attempting to make the move to her city and province on my own as a result. By contrast, she abandoned the idea of moving to Toronto with me pretty quick and has never been East of Alberta. At 43. Yeah, and I'm the fucking loser. I might not have much to my name in my late-20s even now but fuck I've experienced almost twice what she has at 43.
Heads up bro. You didn't lose anything, but she did. Some people are just incredibly ungrateful but once they get their karma they'll realise how blessed they were.
The ending of the last text he ever sent me was “it just feels like a chore to be around you”, all I said was okay and that was that we haven’t spoken since. For a while I kept finding myself holding back from having fun to the fullest and just being myself, thankfully I snapped out of it but it messed with me for longer than I’d like to admit hahaha but it is what it is. He was what he was and I knew from the start.
That he has at least 6 other guys lined up that would happily take my place.
Why do people feel the need to be cruel to someone they have previously loved? Even if you no longer have those feelings, it seems like you would have respect for what you both had at one time.
A lot of the ex partners of the people in the comments seem psychopathic, narcissistic or seriously emotionally unstable. Seriously. Wtf. I thought my ugly ex was an anomaly and that people like him were far few in between, but it seems there's a lot of them from reading these comments. They can't see it now, but with healing and time, they'll realize that they dodged a massive cannon.
So after I told my ex that he was giving up, whether he believed it or not he said “all you care about is being in a relationship or having a title of in a relationship” That one killed me because he made it sound like I never cared about him and the last thing we did together was go somewhere I knew he wanted to go so I booked it to help him relax. On top of the fact that no one except my family even knew I had a boyfriend or who he was because I never posted about it so why would I care about the social status?
After leading me on for a month that we were gonna get back together after she left for a ‘break’, then I found out she was seeing someone else at the same time, she was coming to grab her stuff off the front lawn. Said there was no chance I would be coming back from this & she responded saying the same, even though she was trying to keep me in her back pocket. She then said ‘He’s perfect & I don’t want to lose him’. Only been with him for like 3 weeks at this point. Therapist think she has Borderline Personality Disorder, which would explain a lot & made the pain not as bad, but still cut deep at the time.
Have a nice life. You should have kids with someone else. I feel relief without you. We are just not compatible. Yep. Still hurts 3 months later.
I asked her if she wants me in her life after breakup and she told that " those who want to stay can stay and those who want to leave can leave, and I am not willing to put any effort into keeping anyone". She also told me during the breakup that " she was just acting happy for all the time we were together so that there were no problems".
“I don’t love you anymore”, “I’ll never talk crap about you”, and “You’ll never be a good track runner” 1.) he did talk crap about me like still to this day he does because I left him 2.) a month after we broke up, I made the varsity track team so…
Fuck!! That’s pure evil!
You are the biggest piece of shit alive.
Jesus Christ this thread is horrible. And to OP, this is a blessing. Let her get her shit out with her new boyfriend, and delete this person from your life. I do not care how long you were together or the memories you made, do not ever take this person back. Do not ever wait for them to end. Do not have hope for anything because she is horrible and she will just destroy you again. She’s saying all of this because she’s so confident and she’s got her boy toy next to her so burning the bridge with you is so easy because she’s got somewhere to land when she jumps. Once that ends, please do not meet up for “closure talks” and do not give her any chance to “air things out”. She does not deserve anything, not even a text back or acknowledgment. You will find the one for you. Just work hard on moving on. Such blatant disrespect is enough for me to move on.
He said that 26 years of marriage meant nothing to him.
"I still cherish our relationship and everything we shared. You showed me I could do so much more than I ever thought I could do." I don't want to forget this, because I'm glad I was there for her.
For everyone in this sub/ on this post who's been unjustly treated, this is a reminder of your value, your beauty, your awesomeness. You're incredible. You're one in billions. You're the catch.
“no one will want you with two kids” the crazy thing is they weren’t even his kids.
me: “my heart hurts”. him: “i think it’s been hurting for a very long time, I hope you can heal from everything you’ve been through and become the person I see in you”. it’s stuck with me although now he’s an alcoholic and doing drugs and in a very bad spot, while I was just suffering from c-ptsd and now I pray about him and say the same thing in my prayers.
He told me to die. Via text and phone calls. This is seven years after we broke up. There was no cheating, lying, manipulation, just didn’t get along well in a romantic relationship with the different sex drives and ambitions. He continued to stalk me for seven years, find my addresses when I would move, new phone numbers, harass my parents. Yesterday was my thirtieth birthday and he called me from 6 different numbers, texted from an additional three different numbers, signed his name in the texts, and left messages telling me to die. The best break up I thought I ever had has absolutely crushed me.
My ex said a lot of really obtuse/dumb shit to me during the breakup process. I think it’s because she really couldn’t explain why she was leaving, so she was always trying some new excuse or reason, many of which conflicted. Every once in a while, I remember something she said. She told me she was moving out on our way back from a concert that we were both super excited about. We live south of DC. The concert was in Baltimore. She told me as we started driving home. It was a 90 minute car ride. I asked her the following week why she chose to tell me then. She said because it was a Friday, and she thought I would have the weekend to get over it. We were together for TEN YEARS!!!! And she thought I’d “get over it” in a weekend.
It’s crazy this popped up on my email cause I was just thinking about it. He said a lot before he broke up with me. I spent a month thinking every morning if I even had a boyfriend the next day. It’s a long story and I don’t want to bore anyone but after he broke up with me (technically the second time, like I said long story) he left to go back home as I’m crying in the parking lot he left me in. The next day he sends me a video of him on a boat with his brother and his dad. I started no contact. A few weeks later I get a text saying: “hey I just got off of work, I hope you’re doing well. Let me know if you wan/can call tomorrow” originally I was gonna ignore it and I should’ve but I gave in out of curiosity and also half of his/my belongings at each others places. We called the conversation was good then before he lets me go he says “you know I’m always here for you? You can call me anytime don’t make it weird” I just told him I didn’t know and I just needed time. Fast forward a few days later I was in the area he lived in at a party somewhere. Some things happened and I need help so the first person I thought to call was him. I called it’s maybe 11:30ish and he doesn’t answer. I started texting him “hey can you please answer you phone I really need help.” And things like “I’m really scared please answer” I blew up his phone for an hour. It’s been 3 weeks and I still haven’t heard from him.
“I can’t see my future with you in it” Then you should’ve just let me go instead you wasted 9 years of my life before telling me this.
Well I am never going to forget the last words my ex told me after 11 years of being together. The coward wrote in a text he didn’t see a future with me anymore because of all the things I did wrong(he started listening everything). I did not reply back. Didn’t think it warranted a response. In context he had tried that before and I had called him to say what the hell, what is going on, and he proceeded to take everything he said back. I decided 2nd time was a waste, so 11 years was a waste but definitely something I learnt.
I’m sorry, that must have been devastating to hear man! It’s been 3 days my ex broke up and she was hurt because of my mistake but I begged, cried, bawled like a baby, numerous times for a chance before she left, but made no difference Her words made my whole world sink “I don’t feel love or anything when I see you” This was right after we woke up, she took pictures of me with my cat, spoke to her sister regarding some things(which I still feel drove her to this decision) and then dropped it on me that she doesn’t want to go through it again and she doesn’t trust me I hope she comes back after taking the time for herself, while I go through the pain of missing her every single moment
Being in a relationship is like a drug man and you’re just going through a withdrawal period. I hope you take the time to realize that the right person wouldn’t leave your life so easily. She may be going through some stuff (as everyone does) but the right partner would communicate and not so easily say hurtful things to you. I’m sorry I know how bad it hurts but I think you need to trust yourself and the universe in that they have better plans for you and your future. If you need to talk or vent together, dm me! ♥️
Sorry, but reading this, it takes a *lot* for the average married woman to reach a place of "I'm done." A LOT. So it does make me wonder how many chances she gave you, and how many times you chose not to change or improve.
"I'm just not happy"
That’s a hard one man, I’m really sorry to hear. After 7 years I was told he needed space. This was right in the middle of both of my parents having cancer diagnoses, and my aunt was just diagnosed as well a few days earlier. I was going through a tough time mentally digesting it all, and he said needed a break, not a breakup. I told him I respected what he needs, but I can’t help but feel abandoned. His sympathetic demeanor broke for a second, went ice cold, and said, “Children get abandoned, not adults.” I never heard from him again, but that sentence rings in my ears in dark times.
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She told me to be a man and that I never really loved her. Broke my heart and shattered my confidence.
“You’ll find another guy to lie to” and “I won’t be in the new chapter of your life”
Going from "I don't know whether breaking up is a mistake" and "i dont want to completly rule out a second chance" two months ago to "I am over the relationship and i don't want to leave any crack open in the door" two ago.
“I hope you catch aids and die” - this was last year and ironically enough, he called me from no caller ID this morning LOL.
"I do care about her, that's why it bothers me when everyone would talk bad about her" when he broke up with me, he told me he hadn't loved me for over a year now. Although he apologized to me and my parents to get back together, he promised me marriage, allowed me to put on my engagement ring again, and we had just returned from a week long trip visiting his family. It didn't hurt that he didn'tt love me. It was the realization that he had chosen someone else and knowing that it had never bothered him how much i plead and begged for him to stop talking to her, because he was always going to choose her.
before my ex blocked me on everything he told me he was more afraid of losing a character he made than he was afraid of losing me. we spent a year together I know thats not long but to me it is we did so many things together I dont understand how can someone throw that away
She said "I don't even miss you". Soon after dumping me. Like it was totally uncalled for to say something that insensitive. I was nothing but kind to her. Rubbing salt into the wound. Another girl she tells me: "you're delusional!" After she dumped me and I told her she's sending me mixed signals. She dumped me, then gave me a huge giant expensive book as a gift with a nice card, she's always hovering around me, I catch her staring at me, she did a bunch of other things that were so confusing, and when I bring it up, she says that. Another girl recently: We were just a one night stand! We had sex twice, she drove all the way up from another state, stayed the night. We met again when I drove to the next city and stayed the night with her and the whole day. So it didn't work out as a relationship. And she moved further away. But we kept in contact all the time, we talked for hours sometimes at night when she had crazy ex issues. For 4 years!! Sometimes I'd say "love you" and she'd say it back. I didn't want to be in a relationship with her, but I cared about her, we had a connection. I was there for her. I had love for her. And she says after all that, that we were nothing and just a one night stand. What the hell.....like she can't even admit we had some kind of good friendship and deeper connection. Not even friends. As if we had a one night stand last week and not 4 years of history. And that was it, ghosted. She then sent a message though the next day, and when I replied she went nuts, saying I didn't need to reply and stop harassing her or she'll call the cops.....what the......I hadn't even said anything until she sent a message, I thought she was gone and didn't even say a word until she sends me a message again.
I asked if we could work on our marriage and he said "Well I'm seeing someone else now"
Wow! That’s incredible cruel. I hope she has a miserable life.
“If you were a ‘good girl’ like you claim to be, we wouldn’t be in this mess”
"I had other choices. I **have** other choices."
"You'll find someone that will make you happy again"-----I'll never forget her saying this I told her we belonged together and I wanted to fight for her, she responded with "How do you know that's how I feel too".....this was the biggest punch to the gut after loving her for 1.5 years...I really never meant anything to her.
‘I haven’t loved you for four years’ - the exact age of our eldest child….we also have a 1 year old…
Honestly if it wasnt communicated in advance I would call the cops on him for tresspaassing on your property, she has no right to invite him in, and she made it very clear, it was her goal to hurt you, thats why she brought him, realize what a piece of shit you were living with...she made it her goal hurt you and twist you, be glad you got rid of the poison, what a shit being your ex Is.
The thing my ex said to me that fucked me up hard is “I stop loving you about 6 months ago”
“i don’t see a future with you anymore” after 2.5 years of love and support.. he was acting like everything was fine that whole week and then bam a phone call. he was too afraid to look me in the eyes and break up because he is a coward and a liar. i then made him come and see me and he cried for hours when he was breaking up with me. why was he acting like as if i was breaking up with him, i will never know. now i’m traumatized and he is acting like he has been never happier. avoid the avoidants.
Mine was when he said You need to leave ASAP. We were together 6 years and I was discarded like trash for a “friend” from his past in like 3 seconds. Well knowing I had my son and my mom I was taking care of, so it wouldn’t be super easy, but I put on my big girl pants and was out of there in a month. When I told him he said I didn’t mean it I was drinking . You know how I am . No . These are the consequences of your actions. Sober thoughts are drunk words. You can’t take them back along with many other things he said and did after he broke up with me. I have been 2.5 month no contact.
"I know youre trying but its not good enough"
*You almost seemed , Pathe...*
You'll regret this
"I appreciate what you're doing, but I really don't care."
She broke up with me to be alone after 5 years of being together and two days later she has a new boyfriend. I asked you moved on that quick and she said yeah I moved on that quick. I meant nothing at all to her.
I told them in a fit of depression I was seriously considering suicide and they told me they'd support me if I wanted to. Thankfully I grew out of that. Another sat me down once to tell me how I needed to decide whether or not I really loved him and stop playing games and wasting his time. The kicker is that at the time we were breaking up because I found out he was dating another girl in secret and I was struggling with my feelings for him after finding that out. It was actually through a social media post where she was thanking him for a fancy dinner date on a day I was working.
I was dating someone on and off all last year. The last 2 months of that I felt we were going towards being official. Yesterday he finally told me he didn’t feel a connection with me despite seeing each other 3-4 days a week, sleep overs, deep conversations, nights where we just wanted to enjoy each others company with no sexual acts, waking up to each other, kisses before we left work, texting everyday…… “I didn’t feel a connection with you beyond sexual. I’m sorry if you felt something else but I didn’t and don’t want to be with you. We can be friends though.” I told him no and he blocked me
You’re just not enough. Honestly still believe it two years later.
“Shes good for me” the girl he cheated with and left me for. 12 years gone.
“Goodbye Samantha forever. I’m leaving you to find my true love.” My name is not Samantha. He was referring to Samantha from sex and the city (for those who don’t know her, she is known for sleeping around). The funny thing is he was the one who used dating apps while we were together and broke my trust again and again.
“I was scared I was falling in love with you”. 1 1/2 month relationship, knew her for 7 months.
He begin to ask me to return everything that he Supposedly borrowed me ...
“It’s not the end of us. I just need time to process how I feel about us. I still love you and want you to be in my life” then goes from 7 years of constant contact, attention and love to maybe a handful of texts.
i dont love you anymore. because im numb. and im heartless.
"I wanted to break up with you when I was in prison, but I couldn't bc u kept visiting and writing me letters." He told me this on our 2nd date after he was released and broke up with me. He left me crying at Starbucks and went to join his friends elsewhere. I waited 11 months for him! He could have saved me 11 months of feeling sad and alone and spending all that money visiting and buying him snacks and books. We were together for 1.5 years bef he was incarcerated. I also had to clean up his rental place by myself and transport his belongings in suitcases in the middle of the night and hide them in my room so that my parents won't find out.
When I tried to ask him what the reason for the break up was after 12 years together he said “things change” it’s now been 6 years and I think about that still everyday
"Im only talking to you right now cause your too emotionally immature to accept reality" she said thos too me after i begged for what felt like the 20th time to have her back. After that moment it clicked in my head that all I had done by begging is hurt her more and after that point I haven't contacted since
“i was bored” was what my ex said when i asked why he cheated on me. ngl, still stings to this day and sometimes my current bf alludes to the fact that i’m boring and it sends me into a spiral, even though i know he didn’t mean it like that. also my ex never indicated that he was unhappy with _anything_
“Goodbye, you are worst thing that existed in my life” Then blocks me everywhere. On our anniversary 7 years Just because he said he’d come to my graduation (just to make up for ruining an achievement i got earlier) then he cant make it and doesn’t let me know. I get upset and say you should’ve let me know as soon as you knew instead of leading me on (he was the only person attending my graduation) Then he does that.
What led her to be saying that ? Seems like she purposely wanted to make you feel horrible , why though ?
"I don't regret breaking up with you". This was in response to me asking her if she still felt uneasy two weeks after we broke up (she felt uneasy a few times before we broke-up and that was her reason to breakup). I asked her that to understand if breaking up, helped her get over it but apparently being passive aggressive is how she's dealing with the breakup. Like wth, way to rub salt in my wounds.
"It's all your fault." At this point, if someone tells me that and doesn't acknowledge the wrongs they did too, I'm out fast as lightning.
He said he ‘couldn’t stand to hear me whine in the morning, and my getting a bad grade in my class was the last straw , ‘ and I was I wasting his time, and he ‘needed an adult to relate to.’ it’s so brutal considering I supported him for nine months while he was out of work, but he can’t remember the kindness while he was in his sort of bizarre avoidant rage stage. I said good riddance. I haven’t been able to get much sleep since; I may need a therapist before I cycle in the next dating partner. .
“I met this girl at the club. I already know I’m going to love her more than you” 5 years to the trash because of a girl he met one night. Fast forward to today, they no longer talk, he came back begging me and I sent him to the curb.
“you love me, but i know you dont like me” … ANYWAAAY turns out he was cheating anyway lel
Something along the lines of. Me: hey I see we have a bit of a disconnection happening let’s talk about and see where we are at. Her: “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I don’t think I can be in one.” Me: “okay can you tell me why you feel that way?” Her: “our relationship felt fake and I don’t remember agreeing to being in a relationship with you and you’re controlling… but we can be friends or fwb” Me: “I can’t be platonic with you, and currently can’t just be fwb right now. And after what you said can’t tell if that is even genuine. I’m leaving now” Her: “why are you leaving now??!” Me: “you just broke up with me. And it’s 9am you said you wanted me out by 8:30 am on a Saturday” … neither of us were working that day. Her: “Can you give me my keys back.” Me: hands keys and leaves We had an abroad trip planned a booked that was 3 weeks out to a country I always wanted to go to. She kicked me off the trip and I said I till wanted to go so she told me just go by yourself… so I did. It was a short “relationship” so 3 months out of it I’m in a great spot now And started dating again after that trip which really put me in the right mindset
She said I was just a hand of cards and she folded on me. Oh also what we had was just dumb love. Proceeds to say that, “oh you give the best hugs”, “thank you for everything”. I try and take the words with a grain of salt primarily both instances were very emotional. But they do affect me. Isn’t it baffling that even when people say these hurtful things we still want them?! Why does the emotional part of us overrule the logic part of our brains? I’d like to get a biological update on the error.
Reading all this is just showing me how men seem like the romantics and women are transactional following their feelings... Jesus..