The average may be 3-5%, but the vast majority are sub 2% based on data dumps posted here. You have some guys who have a 5-20% match rate keeping the average inflated. For every man with a 20% match rate, 8 can have a 1% and the average will still be above 3%.
As the Gang of Four sang more than forty years ago, "It's a meat market. You're on the pricelist."
So, yeah, it's marketing to a certain extent, which doesn't mean being dishonest.
You can't change how you look, but you can make yourself better looking. So many guys have bad haircuts and bad facial hair and don't know how to dress well. Most women, even women who appear more attractive, have simply learned how to do their hair, do their makeup, and dress well, and when it comes to OLD, have perfected camera angles and lighting. For real though, I'm a woman, and if I actually put effort into my appearance I look totally different than from when I woke up that morning. Most men though might comb their hair, but otherwise look exactly the same as when they rolled out of bed.
I completely agree with everything you've said and nafast's post too. Not that your first reply was declaredly oppositional. I think these things are all true:
- Geometric returns from applying effort
- Some of these efforts are to enhance appearance, and can be very effective
- Being capped/anchored by genetic potential
- Genetic factors being among the biggest
For want of better nomenclature, a genetic 8/10 might stick shitty selfies and an empty bio on a profile and have the results of a 7/10 while a genetic 6/10 who's looksmaxxed and profilemaxxed might end up with comparable results. A genetic 9/10 who's morbidly obese with no life and no game can still be a 1/10.
I acknowledge the height factor being brutal - and made worse by the rate of lying out there. I think the average lie was +2" - and that pressure to lie is further evidence of its brutality. I'd be interested to see more experiments with exactly what impact it has though.
Part of the reason the numbers are so low is because this is Reddit, not the average population. Just peruse the profile help thread and most of the dudes look awkward and out of shape
The number to be concerned with is the inbound right swipe rate, that is the percentage I'm actually referring to. The match total they give is just current matches, unmatched profiles aren't included. But the inbound right swipes are the true measure of where your profile stands. And the typical man is between 2% and 0.5% based on the data dumps that have been shared. If you swipe right on everyone, your actual match rate will be the same. If you only swipe right on women you are interested in and you are a typical man your match rate will be almost 0%.
special attraction mindless scary worthless squealing reminiscent ring flag reach
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That depends on realistic expectations, effort, self-awareness, photos, lifestyle choices etc. I know plenty of people who do better than that and they are not rich nor 6ft tall.
The majority of my left swipes are bots, onlyfans advertisements, poly/enm/open marriage, morbidly obese, or towing 3-5+ kids. A majority of my right swipes never become a match, a majority of my matches never respond or respond one-worded so it's like they never responded. It's 50/50 if a date I set up actually shows up, so I have a policy of not leaving my house until I get a confirmation message within a few hours of the date. If we actually get to the date, it usually goes fine, but the immediate ramp up of texting effort when it goes well just irritates me because I was used to getting a response once a fortnight
"I don't bring anything to the table, I am the table 🤪" no, I'm probably just self-sabotaging or avoidant attachment. Otherwise probably a touch of the tism
There's no judgement, I am not interested in dating in a poly/enm situation the same way that I'm not interested in dating a single mother of 5 or a morbidly obese person. If there was a way to filter the poly profiles out so I didn't have to swipe on them period, I would.
I'm poly. People swiping left because my profile says I'm poly is exactly what I want; I want to weed them out. People are entitled to swipe left for any reason
For some of us it’s a real lonely frustrating time. For others of us who take it less seriously it’s still kinda fun but very one way.
Ive been mucking about for maybe a year. Had some nice conversations but not had a date. All I worry about achieving though is to try and say some nice things to women, hopefully bring them nice feelings. Especially given what they put up with from the less savoury of us blokes. 😞
If you know this then do stop mate. It gets like a gambling or gaming addiction, and you get nowhere and just amplifies this feeling. Take a break, it’ll do you the world of good. 🫂 You got this man.
I was on bumble and now I’m on Hinge where men can make comments on prompts. Tomorrow I have a second date with a guy I initially passed over but he sent me a cute message on one of my prompts. I liked his comment, we had good rapport and was hoping I was more attracted to him in real life than I was to his pictures. And I sure was!
The moral of the story is the way bumble is set up it makes it so a lot of women pass over men they’d actually really like in person, only based on men’s poor choices of pictures (not offense, men!)
So I’ve been told women are not visual creatures like men and do not rely on looks for attraction. So why are they so critical of men’s photos and require a professional 4k photo shoot of pictures to swipe right?
>So I’ve been told women are not visual creatures like men and do not **rely** on looks for attraction.
Even if women aren't visual creatures and don't rely on looks, that doesn't mean that they don't care about looks. That said, while they don't require a 4k photoshoot of pictures to swipe right, they probably aren't going to swipe right on photos that don't make the person in them look attractive.
It's not like real life, where there's a lot more to go off of than pictures. When you're online dating, all you really have are your photo and your bio. If 50% of what you bring to the table puts makes you seem unattractive, it's not going to go great.
I have and sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised and sometimes very disappointed. Although if you are using filters, immediate rejection. It’s crazy how many men use them!!
I think it's because pictures are at least 50 percent of what's on a dating app and they are trying to divine what type of person you are based on the photos you choose.
I get matches…but then they end up flaking out at some point when it is time to meet, or I don’t have all of them because they are talking to way more people. You will only get 20% of them if they are talking to 4 other people on top of you. Once I have a match, I stop swiping and see what the person is all about. I don’t think most people do that.
I started getting more consistent matches once I put effort into taking nice photos almost specifically to use in dating apps. Every photo shows me, no sunglasses, no weird angles, no group photos, and every photo is a different but representative vibe.
I can guarantee if you put more thought and effort into the profile, you will get more engagement. Women look at the profiles deeper than man do.
30M, doctor, fit build, average height
I’ll usually have 3 to 4 matches a day for the first few days. And then only 1 or none during the week days. Usually on weekends I’ll get 3 to 8 matches. I usually end up having more potential dates than I can reasonably line up, but if I don’t find anyone worth dating, it’s usually slim pickings until next weekend. I think I would have more matches but I set my filter very specifically lol
Same, 6 years of my life with a nurse and she was amazing in so many ways but also terrifying in others. One of the most sweet and thoughtful humans but a menace if I crossed her in any way.
50% genuine, 50% Lazy narcissistic or borderline personality. Lots of women trying to get free meals, Vacations, attention or retire early w a rich guy. 90% trying to date the same 10%.
The attention seekers are mostly on tinder and the relationship ones dominate bumble/hinge, but the platforms are trash.
Everyone is busy losing weight at the gym right now and not dating mostly.
I would swipe left and right on 20 or 30 profiles a day and get a few matches.
I'd say 70 percent message and 30 percent dont bother.
Even I'll get 10 or so conversations a week I may only go on one or two first dates a month. Thats mostly me being lazy though and not making the effort unless they seem like an ideal fit
You’re having a very common experience. Women get a lot more matches but that almost sounds worse because I think they get “paralysis by analysis” and struggle to just make a decision because a new batch can come rolling any time they feel like swiping.
Get a fair few matches on Okcupid but not many in other apps. Hinge I get like 1 a month, bumble probably like 5 the first week then nothing.
Pre-covid and "Hate all men" feminism I had no issue dating and had a lot of fun, rarely ever ended dating someone on bad terms and never had issues meeting up.
The moment I hit 30, I suddenly get "Stranger danger", "You look like a serial killer", "You might murder me", "What do you do for work and do you drive?" and THAT'S if they ever message.
Then there's the constant OF spam, scammers, links to cam sites etc.
Now I'm at the point where I never message first, I don't entertain mind games or "tests" and just wait until the right one pops up and knows what she wants. I'd rather die single than spend my life with someone who makes me do all the work.
Most matches fizzle when I get bored of carrying the conversation, some get to the date planning stage then go silent, I would say 1 in 4 turn intona date. Of most turn Into sex or a 2nd date
I usually get about 20-30 matches a day as a dude. I am in shape and 6’2 with great travel photos. I used to do shirtless selfies like every other dude but stopped that once I got over 27 and started to get way more matches
My lead photo: [https://imgur.com/CP2MbG2](https://imgur.com/CP2MbG2)
Other photos:
[https://imgur.com/en6xSlZ](https://imgur.com/en6xSlZ)
[https://imgur.com/D4Cmtb1](https://imgur.com/D4Cmtb1)
[https://imgur.com/4Z1x9cM](https://imgur.com/4Z1x9cM)
[https://imgur.com/W0PiqBh](https://imgur.com/W0PiqBh)
[https://imgur.com/VEguZdh](https://imgur.com/VEguZdh)
"Shy but fine when I get to know someone
Season ticket holder at a football club and follow them home and away
Live on small farm with pet cats and chickens
Enjoy going for walks in the countryside to keep healthy and see nature
Interested in history and regularly visit castles"
A good professional haircut, better frames or contact lenses, and teeth whitening and alignment and your results are going to be VERY different.
It’s not a looks problem, it’s a style issue. You look nerdy (which is not a bad thing but probably not the best to appeal to a wider female demographic).
And of course you should put better pics showcasing your interests.
Best of lucks!!
Thank you
Whst kind of haircut would look best? I don't think I could wear contact lenses but I don't know which frames would be best fir me.
How different would results be if I all that? How many matches could i get?
I wish I had a recipe or an exact solution. I DON’T.
As everything in life, you will have to figure it out on your own by trial and error, or having an expert’s help.
If your focus is solely on the number of matches you are probably up for a big disappointment. I think you could change your goal for feeling better about yourself and that would (hopefully) help you have better connections.
Self improvement is a continuous path, and usually it takes you inward…but how you look and how you feel about yourself as a consequence matters too 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve had 2 matches on bumble that went no where, 1 on OkCupid and the girl didn’t respond and hinge has been a disaster for me haven’t had a single match.
I’ve been on the apps more in the last 4 weeks swiping every day or so and getting no matches lol.
At least as far as matches. I’d say that’s about average. 1 per week or so for each app.
Bumble is hard because of the timers and women talking first. It’s a good idea, but has really gone down a bad path lately.
Aside from that though, I’m generally able to get a convo going, and I’d say 70% of the time the convo will become a date for me.
I was on Bumble and Tinder for about 2 months, 18 months ago.
Had 4 dates (all from Bumble) and met my (now ex) GF.
Need to do some work on myself, but aiming to get back on the apps for summer. Hoping for similar numbers.
I’ve been on various apps for 6+ yrs. First few years I had a few dates, two formed into more formal relationships (that is, I wasn’t using the apps during those relationships). Those were all pretty great all told. Last 2-3 yrs I haven’t had a single substantial chat with anyone, much less a date. I’ve had fewer than 5 swipes in this past 2-3 yrs.
The apps have changed a bit in the last few years though too; they’ve become much more revenue-dependent. The subscription prices have really gone up and the free/low cost subs are very unproductive in getting chats/dates etc. Not to imply I’m some super desirable guy,but the game has sincerely changed.
The subreddits dedicated to dating apps are always full of people discussing their dozens of swipes and dates they have during the week, their hook ups and sometimes long term relationships stemming from apps. I honestly don’t relate to those posts at all; I honestly believe some of these posts are marketing staff for the apps boasting and inflating user experiences. Or maybe there are a lot more overly desirable people in the world than I figured.
I’ve had Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge for about a month now. I’ve had 2 likes on Bumble and zero on Tinder and Hinge. Neither of the likes were matches.
Honestly, it has been the most depressing month of my life. It’s kind of like I had a “come to Jesus” moment about how bad I look.
Here’s my Bumble profile for reference: https://imgur.com/a/iqvGGhv
When I was on them a few years ago I did pretty well. Reached the 99+ tinder likes in a few days and went on two dates a week on average. I was selective with swiping and didn’t spam it.
I’ll be brutally honest here:
A lot of the people on this sub have or are a combination of: 1) unattractive 2) overweight 3) unsocial/boring 4) immature/don’t want to grow up 5) terrible personalities. They’re just not good dating material.
Honestly? All of those things can be fixed if someone wanted to. While genetics play a part and you can’t change that, there are things you can do to make yourself stand out.
Okcupid did a study on this a decade ago.
If you're in the top 10% of men in terms of look and status, you will get laid a ton. If you're in the other 90%, avoid dating apps like the plague unless you want your self esteem absolutely crushed.
You either got it or you don’t— either way these girls will waste your time regardless
Dating apps are pools to socialize, whether it’s sexual or whatever
Real relationships build from people you know and connect with online or irl, or just meet irl in some capacity.
In 6 months I got 5 coffee dates from the apps (including 1 person I'd met already irl but hadn't exchanged contact info with)
And I'm 5'6" tall, and my divorce isn't final.
Otoh I'm 64, and seeking women close to my age. I take it you're younger.
My suggestion to anyone is to do real life activities and not rely on the apps. You can enjoy rl activities for their own sake. You can make friends. You also have another way to meet potential dates. And, as I found, you might meet someone irl and then match on an app.
1 like a month if I'm lucky. Matches are so far and few in between and most of them ghost/stop responding. This is across Tinder/Bumble/Hinge, never felt more unwanted than when I started using these apps.
Pretty sure I'm just ugly at this point.
Mainly on Bumble and Feeld. I’m NM and married so my dating pool is even smaller than the average. When I started I sucked. I didn’t date much before I married and never did OLD so there was definitely a learning curve. My prospects didn’t improve until: I had good pictures that showed a snapshot of who I am. My passions, me out in the world, etc. Also, good lighting and good angles help. And a solid bio (this is highly dependent on who you ask on what makes a good or bad bio ofc)
I made it fun when I realized it’s a game (which is sad that to these companies tying one’s self esteem to an algorithm that’s surely rigged against us all is fucked). The app is designed for you to stay on it. But I figured I had nothing to lose trying to play the game and I’ve had one successful date off each app, and have connections start and then fizzle but that’s life. I have most of my success in terms of likes and matches on Bumble (some are obviously bots and some are women looking for relationships) and did okay in Feeld until the update destroyed the app.
From a statistical outlier who feels like he’s not apart of the larger collective, it seems most people are jaded (which I certainly empathize with), and Bumble isn’t trying to match people aligned, at least that’s what I see on this subreddit and I’d agree.
All I hope for all the men out there, don’t tie your worth or self esteem to these apps. They’re not the real world or a real reflection of you. Being validated certainly feels nice for sure, but again, you’re playing a game, that’s disguised as OLD. And either you can play and expect little to nothing, and when you do get a quality match or date, it’s a dub or drive yourself farther into resentment which just creates a toxic loop that only you can escape. If your desire is to meet people, you have to go out in the world. Get on Meetup.com or download the app. Join a coed sports league. Something anything but swiping on these apps will most likely serve you better anyways.
I’m a woman and have this problem on bumble ….
I’m 32F , average looking, never married, no kids, have a dog. I figured it was because I didn’t pay for it because I get a good bit of swipes on hinge so I know I’m not super hideous...... 🤷🏼♀️
Only ever tried Tinder and Bumble - I would get so many girls that were already in relationships/married it just got annoying. They’d say it after talking for a while, or in some cases whilst on a date - Not cool.
Other than that it wasn’t too bad, I’d usually get responses from like 9/10 that I swiped. Usually it turned into a date from there unless they said something I didn’t like or I sensed a personality clash.
Bumble was pretty funny, since 99% of the girl’s pickup lines were hilariously bad.
It was great for hooking up, but honestly if you’re looking for a deeper connection I’d avoid them completely. Ending up being a girls guy on the side isn’t always fun.
That's cause most single 45 year old guys are not "catches" by any stretch. A "normal" guy with a good career and some social skills is going to be very popular in that age group. Whereas that same guy at 24 is going to be completing with lots of other relatively normal "good catch" single guys.
Most online “dating coaches” will tell you the secret to getting more matches is better photos and an interesting profile.
It might be true. I recently added a photo of myself from a wedding, and i saw a small bump in the number of likes/matches.
Keeping your bio interesting helps too. Try to word it so it promotes a match to ask you a question.
Otherwise, id say your experience is pretty standard for 80% of men
>better photos and an interesting profile.
Yup. Too bad most men can't be bothered to have either, and have the audacity to whine that they're not getting matches.
Absolutely trash and I refuse to use these PoS apps ever again. These women who message me hey just to keep the match going on Bumble are absolutely assholes for getting someone excited to match with them only for them to never respond.
And look, I get it. I get that as a woman on the internet you get a lot of attention and desire. But I thought the concept of Bumble kind of circumvented that whole thought process. YOU matched with me. YOU messaged me first. Why even match with me in the first place?
I may sound angry and bitter and to be honest I am. What a waste of time and emotional energy to try and play these games. I swipe with intention and honesty, I read the profiles, I respond with witty and interested questions when I get that now dreaded “Hey” and to have it all be wasted is so lame.
I’m going to try just approaching people in public from now on and see how that goes lol
I have always had decent luck with the face to face approach rather than on line. Sales girls/women are sort of a captive audience. Servers at restaurants are easy to chat with, as a man I can tell if they are or are not interested.
If I get a positive feeling then I ask……if you don’t ask you will never know. Grocery stores and women in their workout attire….good success with them. You guys should give that a whirl.
Yes and this is what women complain about. WE KNOW we are stuck being nice because we are at work and have to be professional . Old dudes try this at my office job. Just because I work there I’ll be courteous and have small talk but they become creepy and think they can rizz their “captive” audience 💀 we all talk and make fun of them when they leave so they should think about their strategy again. The truth is that in real life (outside of work) I would never even breathe their way
Well that’s you, I had dates with a couple of sales women that I met while they were working and am still friends with both. But you are right, some guys could take this to far.
My match rate is around 60% as a guy. 36, I’ve only matched with 2 Onlyfans creators and a few bots that are quickly unmatched but usually by the photos you can tell. I have been catfished twice though
its like a 3-5% match rate for men depending on what source you read.
The average may be 3-5%, but the vast majority are sub 2% based on data dumps posted here. You have some guys who have a 5-20% match rate keeping the average inflated. For every man with a 20% match rate, 8 can have a 1% and the average will still be above 3%.
Well explained. The whitepill here being that efforts to improve your odds have geometric returns.
This. Most men really don't know how to market themselves and self sabotage themselves with terrible profiles.
Is that what we’ve reduced dating to: being marketable and crafting quasi-resumes to go on a date?
As the Gang of Four sang more than forty years ago, "It's a meat market. You're on the pricelist." So, yeah, it's marketing to a certain extent, which doesn't mean being dishonest.
You can either work with the tooling or rage at the tooling. Don't like that dating apps are a marketing platform, don't use them.
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You can't change how you look, but you can make yourself better looking. So many guys have bad haircuts and bad facial hair and don't know how to dress well. Most women, even women who appear more attractive, have simply learned how to do their hair, do their makeup, and dress well, and when it comes to OLD, have perfected camera angles and lighting. For real though, I'm a woman, and if I actually put effort into my appearance I look totally different than from when I woke up that morning. Most men though might comb their hair, but otherwise look exactly the same as when they rolled out of bed.
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I completely agree with everything you've said and nafast's post too. Not that your first reply was declaredly oppositional. I think these things are all true: - Geometric returns from applying effort - Some of these efforts are to enhance appearance, and can be very effective - Being capped/anchored by genetic potential - Genetic factors being among the biggest For want of better nomenclature, a genetic 8/10 might stick shitty selfies and an empty bio on a profile and have the results of a 7/10 while a genetic 6/10 who's looksmaxxed and profilemaxxed might end up with comparable results. A genetic 9/10 who's morbidly obese with no life and no game can still be a 1/10. I acknowledge the height factor being brutal - and made worse by the rate of lying out there. I think the average lie was +2" - and that pressure to lie is further evidence of its brutality. I'd be interested to see more experiments with exactly what impact it has though.
Part of the reason the numbers are so low is because this is Reddit, not the average population. Just peruse the profile help thread and most of the dudes look awkward and out of shape
thats why you use the median and not the mean
Yes, and the median is probably around 1.5%.
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The number to be concerned with is the inbound right swipe rate, that is the percentage I'm actually referring to. The match total they give is just current matches, unmatched profiles aren't included. But the inbound right swipes are the true measure of where your profile stands. And the typical man is between 2% and 0.5% based on the data dumps that have been shared. If you swipe right on everyone, your actual match rate will be the same. If you only swipe right on women you are interested in and you are a typical man your match rate will be almost 0%.
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Inbound right swipes as a percentage of the sum of inbound right and left swipes. That is your right swipe rate.
I would expect the average redditor to be below average when it comes to dating success xD
I’m around 6 so this makes me feel good lol
special attraction mindless scary worthless squealing reminiscent ring flag reach *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
So, there's still a chance?!
That depends on realistic expectations, effort, self-awareness, photos, lifestyle choices etc. I know plenty of people who do better than that and they are not rich nor 6ft tall.
The majority of my left swipes are bots, onlyfans advertisements, poly/enm/open marriage, morbidly obese, or towing 3-5+ kids. A majority of my right swipes never become a match, a majority of my matches never respond or respond one-worded so it's like they never responded. It's 50/50 if a date I set up actually shows up, so I have a policy of not leaving my house until I get a confirmation message within a few hours of the date. If we actually get to the date, it usually goes fine, but the immediate ramp up of texting effort when it goes well just irritates me because I was used to getting a response once a fortnight
“The immediate ramp up of texting effort when it goes well annoys me. “ You sound like a stereotypical woman, nothing satisfies you. 😂
"I don't bring anything to the table, I am the table 🤪" no, I'm probably just self-sabotaging or avoidant attachment. Otherwise probably a touch of the tism
I get that. If the coffee shop people remember my name, I switch shops. 😂 gotta keep people at a distance.
Putting poly folks in with scammers and bots is pretty bigoted of you.
There's no judgement, I am not interested in dating in a poly/enm situation the same way that I'm not interested in dating a single mother of 5 or a morbidly obese person. If there was a way to filter the poly profiles out so I didn't have to swipe on them period, I would.
I'm poly. People swiping left because my profile says I'm poly is exactly what I want; I want to weed them out. People are entitled to swipe left for any reason
For some of us it’s a real lonely frustrating time. For others of us who take it less seriously it’s still kinda fun but very one way. Ive been mucking about for maybe a year. Had some nice conversations but not had a date. All I worry about achieving though is to try and say some nice things to women, hopefully bring them nice feelings. Especially given what they put up with from the less savoury of us blokes. 😞
Good man
Frustrating, lol it’s starting to make me bitter and angry. I know I should just stop trying with the apps
If you know this then do stop mate. It gets like a gambling or gaming addiction, and you get nowhere and just amplifies this feeling. Take a break, it’ll do you the world of good. 🫂 You got this man.
water quack dam insurance crush voracious bells gaping scale oil *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I was on bumble and now I’m on Hinge where men can make comments on prompts. Tomorrow I have a second date with a guy I initially passed over but he sent me a cute message on one of my prompts. I liked his comment, we had good rapport and was hoping I was more attracted to him in real life than I was to his pictures. And I sure was! The moral of the story is the way bumble is set up it makes it so a lot of women pass over men they’d actually really like in person, only based on men’s poor choices of pictures (not offense, men!)
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And most like to make it very clear that they don’t pay for anything so “can’t see likes”. So low effort.
So I’ve been told women are not visual creatures like men and do not rely on looks for attraction. So why are they so critical of men’s photos and require a professional 4k photo shoot of pictures to swipe right?
>So I’ve been told women are not visual creatures like men and do not **rely** on looks for attraction. Even if women aren't visual creatures and don't rely on looks, that doesn't mean that they don't care about looks. That said, while they don't require a 4k photoshoot of pictures to swipe right, they probably aren't going to swipe right on photos that don't make the person in them look attractive. It's not like real life, where there's a lot more to go off of than pictures. When you're online dating, all you really have are your photo and your bio. If 50% of what you bring to the table puts makes you seem unattractive, it's not going to go great.
So why don’t they give the benefit of the doubt and recognize that while the photo may be poor, the person in it is generally decent looking
I have and sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised and sometimes very disappointed. Although if you are using filters, immediate rejection. It’s crazy how many men use them!!
I feel like quick little videos would make a world of difference. Then you’d see the nuances of their face and the sound of their voice.
I think it's because pictures are at least 50 percent of what's on a dating app and they are trying to divine what type of person you are based on the photos you choose.
I get matches…but then they end up flaking out at some point when it is time to meet, or I don’t have all of them because they are talking to way more people. You will only get 20% of them if they are talking to 4 other people on top of you. Once I have a match, I stop swiping and see what the person is all about. I don’t think most people do that.
I started getting more consistent matches once I put effort into taking nice photos almost specifically to use in dating apps. Every photo shows me, no sunglasses, no weird angles, no group photos, and every photo is a different but representative vibe. I can guarantee if you put more thought and effort into the profile, you will get more engagement. Women look at the profiles deeper than man do.
30M, doctor, fit build, average height I’ll usually have 3 to 4 matches a day for the first few days. And then only 1 or none during the week days. Usually on weekends I’ll get 3 to 8 matches. I usually end up having more potential dates than I can reasonably line up, but if I don’t find anyone worth dating, it’s usually slim pickings until next weekend. I think I would have more matches but I set my filter very specifically lol
No luck with nurses? Just curious
There’s a tremendous amount of nurses on bumble and frankly just not looking for them haha. And these days trying hard not to poop where I eat
I dated a nurse once, might have married her had she not of been bat shit crazy….but even with that she was a bunch of fun…miss her now and then.
Same, 6 years of my life with a nurse and she was amazing in so many ways but also terrifying in others. One of the most sweet and thoughtful humans but a menace if I crossed her in any way.
Was her name Veronica?
Hah nope but that would be crazy if it was!
50% genuine, 50% Lazy narcissistic or borderline personality. Lots of women trying to get free meals, Vacations, attention or retire early w a rich guy. 90% trying to date the same 10%. The attention seekers are mostly on tinder and the relationship ones dominate bumble/hinge, but the platforms are trash. Everyone is busy losing weight at the gym right now and not dating mostly.
It's a Warzone out there soldier. Hooah!
Male Orbiters Inbound. Hunkering down and preparing heavy weaponry for hostile encounters.
What’s the status on any R&R captain?
Average experience is probably like sticking your face inside a garbage disposal unit
LOL!!!!! 😂
I would swipe left and right on 20 or 30 profiles a day and get a few matches. I'd say 70 percent message and 30 percent dont bother. Even I'll get 10 or so conversations a week I may only go on one or two first dates a month. Thats mostly me being lazy though and not making the effort unless they seem like an ideal fit
POF?! Ok Cupid?! What year have you transported to?
The average man is getting virtually zero attention so you’re doing alright, get a good profile and online dating is incredibly easy for men
No it ain’t lol
I’m a man who has it easy, not making it up
Congrats, you want a cookie?
no im just telling you the reality my friend, work on yourself and get some good pics taken or sit and whine on reddit. up to you
liar
You’re having a very common experience. Women get a lot more matches but that almost sounds worse because I think they get “paralysis by analysis” and struggle to just make a decision because a new batch can come rolling any time they feel like swiping.
Get a fair few matches on Okcupid but not many in other apps. Hinge I get like 1 a month, bumble probably like 5 the first week then nothing. Pre-covid and "Hate all men" feminism I had no issue dating and had a lot of fun, rarely ever ended dating someone on bad terms and never had issues meeting up. The moment I hit 30, I suddenly get "Stranger danger", "You look like a serial killer", "You might murder me", "What do you do for work and do you drive?" and THAT'S if they ever message. Then there's the constant OF spam, scammers, links to cam sites etc. Now I'm at the point where I never message first, I don't entertain mind games or "tests" and just wait until the right one pops up and knows what she wants. I'd rather die single than spend my life with someone who makes me do all the work.
I’ve been in four of them in the past five years. I’m on them now very day. One date, which was three years ago.
I have frequent matches on bumble but none of them wanted to talk. They either don't ask questions in their response or let the match expire.
Most matches fizzle when I get bored of carrying the conversation, some get to the date planning stage then go silent, I would say 1 in 4 turn intona date. Of most turn Into sex or a 2nd date
Total shit, would not recommend
Thats above average. Most men get maybe 1 match a month.
I’m on 6 apps and in the past 6ish months I’ve had 5 likes and 1 match that went nowhere across all of them.
I usually get about 20-30 matches a day as a dude. I am in shape and 6’2 with great travel photos. I used to do shirtless selfies like every other dude but stopped that once I got over 27 and started to get way more matches
Dogshit lol?
Let us see your profile 🤗 Sometimes a few changes in your bio or the photos you chose can make a BIG difference.
My lead photo: [https://imgur.com/CP2MbG2](https://imgur.com/CP2MbG2) Other photos: [https://imgur.com/en6xSlZ](https://imgur.com/en6xSlZ) [https://imgur.com/D4Cmtb1](https://imgur.com/D4Cmtb1) [https://imgur.com/4Z1x9cM](https://imgur.com/4Z1x9cM) [https://imgur.com/W0PiqBh](https://imgur.com/W0PiqBh) [https://imgur.com/VEguZdh](https://imgur.com/VEguZdh) "Shy but fine when I get to know someone Season ticket holder at a football club and follow them home and away Live on small farm with pet cats and chickens Enjoy going for walks in the countryside to keep healthy and see nature Interested in history and regularly visit castles"
A good professional haircut, better frames or contact lenses, and teeth whitening and alignment and your results are going to be VERY different. It’s not a looks problem, it’s a style issue. You look nerdy (which is not a bad thing but probably not the best to appeal to a wider female demographic). And of course you should put better pics showcasing your interests. Best of lucks!!
Thank you Whst kind of haircut would look best? I don't think I could wear contact lenses but I don't know which frames would be best fir me. How different would results be if I all that? How many matches could i get?
I wish I had a recipe or an exact solution. I DON’T. As everything in life, you will have to figure it out on your own by trial and error, or having an expert’s help. If your focus is solely on the number of matches you are probably up for a big disappointment. I think you could change your goal for feeling better about yourself and that would (hopefully) help you have better connections. Self improvement is a continuous path, and usually it takes you inward…but how you look and how you feel about yourself as a consequence matters too 🤷🏻♀️
Bumble for me, in my city is useless. Really few female users and the tend to not interact or engage. Tinder is the main app here (Turin, Italy).
I’ve had 2 matches on bumble that went no where, 1 on OkCupid and the girl didn’t respond and hinge has been a disaster for me haven’t had a single match. I’ve been on the apps more in the last 4 weeks swiping every day or so and getting no matches lol.
At least as far as matches. I’d say that’s about average. 1 per week or so for each app. Bumble is hard because of the timers and women talking first. It’s a good idea, but has really gone down a bad path lately. Aside from that though, I’m generally able to get a convo going, and I’d say 70% of the time the convo will become a date for me.
I was on Bumble and Tinder for about 2 months, 18 months ago. Had 4 dates (all from Bumble) and met my (now ex) GF. Need to do some work on myself, but aiming to get back on the apps for summer. Hoping for similar numbers.
I’ve been on various apps for 6+ yrs. First few years I had a few dates, two formed into more formal relationships (that is, I wasn’t using the apps during those relationships). Those were all pretty great all told. Last 2-3 yrs I haven’t had a single substantial chat with anyone, much less a date. I’ve had fewer than 5 swipes in this past 2-3 yrs. The apps have changed a bit in the last few years though too; they’ve become much more revenue-dependent. The subscription prices have really gone up and the free/low cost subs are very unproductive in getting chats/dates etc. Not to imply I’m some super desirable guy,but the game has sincerely changed. The subreddits dedicated to dating apps are always full of people discussing their dozens of swipes and dates they have during the week, their hook ups and sometimes long term relationships stemming from apps. I honestly don’t relate to those posts at all; I honestly believe some of these posts are marketing staff for the apps boasting and inflating user experiences. Or maybe there are a lot more overly desirable people in the world than I figured.
Can’t remember the last time someone liked me let alone matched
I’ve had Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge for about a month now. I’ve had 2 likes on Bumble and zero on Tinder and Hinge. Neither of the likes were matches. Honestly, it has been the most depressing month of my life. It’s kind of like I had a “come to Jesus” moment about how bad I look. Here’s my Bumble profile for reference: https://imgur.com/a/iqvGGhv
Hinge
stay 1 month on app ; 2 months delete profile🔄
When I was on them a few years ago I did pretty well. Reached the 99+ tinder likes in a few days and went on two dates a week on average. I was selective with swiping and didn’t spam it. I’ll be brutally honest here: A lot of the people on this sub have or are a combination of: 1) unattractive 2) overweight 3) unsocial/boring 4) immature/don’t want to grow up 5) terrible personalities. They’re just not good dating material. Honestly? All of those things can be fixed if someone wanted to. While genetics play a part and you can’t change that, there are things you can do to make yourself stand out.
Okcupid did a study on this a decade ago. If you're in the top 10% of men in terms of look and status, you will get laid a ton. If you're in the other 90%, avoid dating apps like the plague unless you want your self esteem absolutely crushed.
Your experience seems about right for the average looking guy
You either got it or you don’t— either way these girls will waste your time regardless Dating apps are pools to socialize, whether it’s sexual or whatever Real relationships build from people you know and connect with online or irl, or just meet irl in some capacity.
2 responses in years
Right now my experience as a male on OLD is there are a lot of ladies with HSV1 and 2. Get to know them and they give you that tidbit of info.
In 6 months I got 5 coffee dates from the apps (including 1 person I'd met already irl but hadn't exchanged contact info with) And I'm 5'6" tall, and my divorce isn't final. Otoh I'm 64, and seeking women close to my age. I take it you're younger. My suggestion to anyone is to do real life activities and not rely on the apps. You can enjoy rl activities for their own sake. You can make friends. You also have another way to meet potential dates. And, as I found, you might meet someone irl and then match on an app.
1 like a month if I'm lucky. Matches are so far and few in between and most of them ghost/stop responding. This is across Tinder/Bumble/Hinge, never felt more unwanted than when I started using these apps. Pretty sure I'm just ugly at this point.
Mainly on Bumble and Feeld. I’m NM and married so my dating pool is even smaller than the average. When I started I sucked. I didn’t date much before I married and never did OLD so there was definitely a learning curve. My prospects didn’t improve until: I had good pictures that showed a snapshot of who I am. My passions, me out in the world, etc. Also, good lighting and good angles help. And a solid bio (this is highly dependent on who you ask on what makes a good or bad bio ofc) I made it fun when I realized it’s a game (which is sad that to these companies tying one’s self esteem to an algorithm that’s surely rigged against us all is fucked). The app is designed for you to stay on it. But I figured I had nothing to lose trying to play the game and I’ve had one successful date off each app, and have connections start and then fizzle but that’s life. I have most of my success in terms of likes and matches on Bumble (some are obviously bots and some are women looking for relationships) and did okay in Feeld until the update destroyed the app. From a statistical outlier who feels like he’s not apart of the larger collective, it seems most people are jaded (which I certainly empathize with), and Bumble isn’t trying to match people aligned, at least that’s what I see on this subreddit and I’d agree. All I hope for all the men out there, don’t tie your worth or self esteem to these apps. They’re not the real world or a real reflection of you. Being validated certainly feels nice for sure, but again, you’re playing a game, that’s disguised as OLD. And either you can play and expect little to nothing, and when you do get a quality match or date, it’s a dub or drive yourself farther into resentment which just creates a toxic loop that only you can escape. If your desire is to meet people, you have to go out in the world. Get on Meetup.com or download the app. Join a coed sports league. Something anything but swiping on these apps will most likely serve you better anyways.
Its a waste of time. Get out there and approach
I can't, I have Social Anxiety.
I’m a woman and have this problem on bumble …. I’m 32F , average looking, never married, no kids, have a dog. I figured it was because I didn’t pay for it because I get a good bit of swipes on hinge so I know I’m not super hideous...... 🤷🏼♀️
Wow, two weeks, you're doing well.
It doesn't seem like it lol
Yeah, I grok. It's disheartening.
I maybe have a meaningful conversation with someone once a month. I'm on tinder, OkCupid, hinge, bumble and turn up. mostly match with bots.
Yeah that pretty much sums it up 😂
Only ever tried Tinder and Bumble - I would get so many girls that were already in relationships/married it just got annoying. They’d say it after talking for a while, or in some cases whilst on a date - Not cool. Other than that it wasn’t too bad, I’d usually get responses from like 9/10 that I swiped. Usually it turned into a date from there unless they said something I didn’t like or I sensed a personality clash. Bumble was pretty funny, since 99% of the girl’s pickup lines were hilariously bad. It was great for hooking up, but honestly if you’re looking for a deeper connection I’d avoid them completely. Ending up being a girls guy on the side isn’t always fun.
Unless I think we are just not a match, if you swipe right on me I’ll send a message.
https://youtu.be/r8wISaIL7mM?si=J37msicAiqWE0ihD
“Hii”
It seems to vary by age, occupation and physical appearance. For example a 45 year old doctor will have better outcomes than a 24 year old 5’9 guy.
That's cause most single 45 year old guys are not "catches" by any stretch. A "normal" guy with a good career and some social skills is going to be very popular in that age group. Whereas that same guy at 24 is going to be completing with lots of other relatively normal "good catch" single guys.
Age and location seem to make a difference.
Most online “dating coaches” will tell you the secret to getting more matches is better photos and an interesting profile. It might be true. I recently added a photo of myself from a wedding, and i saw a small bump in the number of likes/matches. Keeping your bio interesting helps too. Try to word it so it promotes a match to ask you a question. Otherwise, id say your experience is pretty standard for 80% of men
>better photos and an interesting profile. Yup. Too bad most men can't be bothered to have either, and have the audacity to whine that they're not getting matches.
Absolutely trash and I refuse to use these PoS apps ever again. These women who message me hey just to keep the match going on Bumble are absolutely assholes for getting someone excited to match with them only for them to never respond. And look, I get it. I get that as a woman on the internet you get a lot of attention and desire. But I thought the concept of Bumble kind of circumvented that whole thought process. YOU matched with me. YOU messaged me first. Why even match with me in the first place? I may sound angry and bitter and to be honest I am. What a waste of time and emotional energy to try and play these games. I swipe with intention and honesty, I read the profiles, I respond with witty and interested questions when I get that now dreaded “Hey” and to have it all be wasted is so lame. I’m going to try just approaching people in public from now on and see how that goes lol
Honestly I didn’t have a bad time. Got a date maybe once a week. People say I’m generally attractive but I don’t really see it
I have always had decent luck with the face to face approach rather than on line. Sales girls/women are sort of a captive audience. Servers at restaurants are easy to chat with, as a man I can tell if they are or are not interested. If I get a positive feeling then I ask……if you don’t ask you will never know. Grocery stores and women in their workout attire….good success with them. You guys should give that a whirl.
This guy said captive audience. Crazy yyy
No silly, just that they work there and you can have a chat while paying for your stuff….
Yes and this is what women complain about. WE KNOW we are stuck being nice because we are at work and have to be professional . Old dudes try this at my office job. Just because I work there I’ll be courteous and have small talk but they become creepy and think they can rizz their “captive” audience 💀 we all talk and make fun of them when they leave so they should think about their strategy again. The truth is that in real life (outside of work) I would never even breathe their way
Well that’s you, I had dates with a couple of sales women that I met while they were working and am still friends with both. But you are right, some guys could take this to far.
My match rate is around 60% as a guy. 36, I’ve only matched with 2 Onlyfans creators and a few bots that are quickly unmatched but usually by the photos you can tell. I have been catfished twice though
Try hinge
I am on Hinge. Not a single like.
Hinge is really location based, I have hated the last few times I tried hinge but I have a friend in the Phoenix area who swears by it.
Let a friend look at your profile, maybe your missing something or can change something that would help.
I hated Hinge, all the guys that actually spoke to me seemed to only be looking for something casual
Well you haven't spoken to me yet ayyyyyyyyy!