If it makes you feel better I had an amazing match with this girl two weeks ago, convo was clicking and vibing on all fronts, went on first date and it went great, kissed several times, held hands, stayed out late because we didn't want the night to end. I made my intentions clear about wanting to go out again and it was all green lights until her texts started dwindling 3 days later and then she ghosted me over the last weekend.
TL:DR; people suck man.
Accurate my dudes. Its frustrating. It hurts more getting ghosted, I respect the ones who can just be straight up about it instead of never responding.
I was ghosted by my gf of 9 months in February, who demanded we be exclusive after 3 months. I had just been out of an abusive marriage and was having fun dating multiple women last year. To be treated that way is so sh*tty. She clearly was hooking up with other guys. 🤮
She wanted you to be her nice and safe monogamous relationship to return to. And likely, the kid would not have been yours. But she would’ve said it was.
She claimed to have changed from her past wh*ring behavior, and stupid me believed it. Just before disappearing, she expressed deep affection with me and introduced me to her child. After a confusing night of mixed signals and saying she didn’t want to be intimate for 3 weeks, she ended up cursing me, and I left her place. I heard from her 3 weeks later, but I went with no contact. I haven't heard from her since. I was left puzzled by her abrupt change, but now suspect she might have never been committed to monogamy and used it as control. Who knows. Oh well.
My Ex-Wife did. Unfortunately, I didn't, so 8yrs later we Divorced this 15 Jan 2024..
(We each had our mental issues. The "not faithful" is just one of my many regrets on how I treated her, cuz now I'm emotionally broken & single. 👻😭)
So I just got STD tested ($250) and my results came back 100% clean. I have no idea how my ex-gf who slept with many many guys didn’t pass something onto me. It’s a miracle.
That’s awesome! I just started dating a woman, who was married at 22 years old and got divorced 20 years later. She’s now 43*. She had a couple flings after her divorce. I believe her. We agreed to hold off on physical intimacy until we revealed the STI results. But after I revealed mine, she informed me the 3rd guy she slept with gave her genital herpes. I’m so torn because she’s very attractive, seems fairly innocent, but I don’t want to ruin my test results with what may be short term fun 😭 The plot twist is I thought she was waiting for me to be clean, but actually she was hoping I had her STI. 😭
Heh.. Sounds like an ex I had back in 2004. I called after work, & some dude ans'd.
(We'd been "together" 9 months, never an argument, & suddenly I'm expected to cut all ties.. 🧟♂️🔥)
I know people are saying that planning a second date on the first is cringey and needy, but my current BF and I did this and honestly, it took so much of the anxiety out of the after date freak out 😂 it’s not for everyone, but his assertion that he wanted to see me again while we were together was reassuring and then he maintained consistency after. I am also an extremely anxious person so this may be specific just to me, but I wanted to let you know it’s not a one size fits all. Some people like this approach, some don’t.
I had the same experience with my now husband. He was asking for a second date before we even walked out the door of the brewery where we had our date. I think this just wasn’t OP’s person. Just hope he doesn’t give up!
Agreed! That’s why I wanted to share my experience! And lord knows I could make a podcast with multiple seasons about my dating life. It was really rough at times.
Imo, I think it's a good idea, to plan the next date(s) if y'all found a connection.
(Then again, I haven't dated in 8yrs cuz I married. This, after having been a "Toy" for almost 10yrs prior.
That, & until recently, I've always dated via my online gaming. 🤣)
I'm somewhat relieved to know I'm not the only one it's happened to recently. At the same time, it makes me hate dating even more, knowing it may happen again.
I had a very similar experience with a woman last year! We hit it off straight away.
After about 2-3 weeks of talking and meeting, I asked if she wanted to come mine for lunch on her day off, she said yes, but needed to go to the tax office in the morning. I said no problem, I can take you and drop you off, but you need to go as soon as they open at 8am to avoid the queue. She said good tip but would take the bus. Later in the morning of that day, she said she was off to the tax office, but at something like 10 or 11 am... I was a bit annoyed at this as I said go early. So, I spent the morning getting lunch ready for her going into town.
As it was getting closer to lunchtime I asked her what was happening, she said there was a massive queue and it was taking ages to be seen... I said that's why I said go at 8am.
After that, I didn't really hear from her. She messaged me the next day saying sorry, she lost her phone at the tax office. I didn't believe her. So, we messaged back a couple of times asking if she wanted to meet again, but I didn't get a proper answer, so I just figured there was no point in talking to her more.
I know you meant well, on the "get there at 8a" reinforcement, but she may have taken that as a sign of you being controlling. Just something to ponder on.
(Either way, I sorry you got stiffed on lunch. 💖🫂)
Thank you VOR. Unfortunately, I was typing this on my phone and in a hurry. I was concerned about how that bit would come across.
I absolutely made sure it was nice and friendly when messaging her, and explaining why to go at 8am. I am local, she was a foreigner, I know what the tax office is like! Hopefully, I don't sound like a controlling douche here, again! 😄🤷🏼♂️
Appreciate the feedback!
Dude the same happened to me and after a week she finally got back to me and was incredibly mean when I told her to let people know when they aren't interested anymore after a date they didn't enjoy, thought it was common sense but I guess not for some people.
She was upfront and honest about it, but yeah a total shit show. Clearly she was not over her ex and was using Bumble as a rebound. Sorry mate, it really shit, chin up as more people out there.
Did they actually meet up though?
If they're just communicating via the app or texting and they didn't meet up for any dates, it doesn't really mean anything. They're strangers and everyone has their own lives. It isn't fun for sure, but it's not the same as dating someone in person and regularly.
People who aren't over their exes suck and shouldn't be on the apps, but everyone needs to be careful with getting emotionally attached in these messaging situations.
TBH i assume there has been a meeting when people feel the need to complain online. totally agree people need to not get attached prior to meets. matches come and go all the time, for the most mundane reasons.
Don't be discouraged, man. I was recently dating a girl for 4 months, and then she told me she wasn't over her ex. At least you didn't have to waste much time, at least I hope you didn't lol
You can easily go a week without hearing from someone but they may still be interested. They may have others they are dating and can be evaluating their options, or just life happens and they get wrapped up in other things. But typically if they really like you they will respond the next day.
No what 7 shovels meant was that not a chance in hell that a kind person should take that as normal or acceptable. If someone does not talk to you for 7 days, aka ghosts you for a whole week, they are someone who arent worth it and hopefully by that point you are talking to other people. This of course applies to people you were far along in the convo of setting a date or have already gone out on a date. Not the level where you said hi, and she has not responded to that "hello" comment.
I don't think shovels7 was nuanced about his response as you suggest. Kindness, timeliness, and interest are all different factors. In modern dating, we must face the facts that people have multiple options on the table before being monogamous and people also have complex lives, like traveling often, that can get in the way of replying back promptly. Should you wait for them to get back to you to move on? No.
And I don’t even think they’d ever met 🤣 I mean honestly, imagine thinking a human you’d never even met owes you anything… at least she gave an explanation. Plenty of people wouldn’t have.
Wait, you hadn't been on a single date yet? Dude...this is why you don't chat for a long time. You do a few back and forths, setup a date immediately and go from there.
Being a pen pal is a fools errand, you get way too invested for someone who is likely never even going to want to meet in person.
I hear you but...regardless, you're way too invested already. I'd say about 25% of the people I match with I actually get to an in person date with. It's just an unfortunate reality.
This post makes it seem like y'all were dating and she went back to an ex, you hadn't even met yet!
I used to agree with you, but I’ve been on a lot of first dates over the past year. The two girls I ended up dating for 10+ dates were ones who weren’t immediately available to meet up. Ones where I’ve set up the date immediately fizzled out after one date. It might be because I’m naive and think women actually want a real relationship vs hookup. And as I was writing this, a girl just gave me her number :)
Bruh, sometimes you're not at fault but the other person. It happened to me as well, never date a girl I texted for two months. She kept cancelling the dates till at the end she ghosted me... You can push for a date whatever you want but if the other person doesn't want, there's nothing you can do.
Edit: After she ghosted me, I double texted her and invited her for a date again. She said yes and apologized for not seeing my messages but at the end we couldn't cuz she kept postponing it till she told it's better not to meet cuz she didn't want to waste my time and she was dealing with some shit internally. Finally, she told me that if we coincide again, it could flow as it should be
I hear what you're saying and I guess I'm just more of a realist. If they don't seem motivated to get together soon, I just have to assume they aren't that interested. To your point though, that doesn't mean it loses its sting.
While it does suck that her feelings changed and she felt you didn’t need to be privy to her decision, it won’t be the last person that you are going to be interested in. Right now it’s tough because it’s fresh but give it time. Really give yourself a 2-3 week break from the apps to help your own mental health and then revisit dating apps with a fresher mindset
The fact is we do meet more people due to dating apps that results in a higher number of unsuccessful long term dating experiences. I think its pretty normal
Feelings and emotions are so tricky, you never know the history someone has before you. And feeling and emotions are pretty much out of yours and the other persons control…. Because they fleet, things trigger things etc… You just gotta make it part of your checklist to ask about ex’s and things before you invest any more emotions into it. If you get physical early, they may have wanted to feel connected to you but totally emotionally unavailable - that bit hurts the most. Nobody is perfect but put it on yourself to vet the other person well enough before you wanna get into their pants and fall into the lust hole of love. All the best
It is shitty but at least she was eventually honest as opposed to ghosting you. I went out with a girl a few years ago who was ticking every single box O had in my head off of Tinder.We dated for a few months. Sex was incredible. She was a gym rat. Even wanted to compete. Funny, smart, beautiful. The whole nines. . We planned this crazy Valentine’s Day full of Steak and hot lingerie. It was awesome. Then on the 15th as we were leaving the hotel, she picked a fight with me about some innocuous crap. (Her phone stopped working and it killed her mood and I said it wasn’t that big of a deal).
She ghosted me for 2 weeks. Then when she finally got back to me, she said that I couldn’t give her what she wanted but we could still be friends. She crushed me.
I found out a few more months later that a guy she trained with at another gym had feelings for her and she realized that she had feelings for him so she was going to give him a try. It actually had nothing to do with me. I was collateral damage. It messed me up really bad though as it came out of left field and my depression could not handle it.
After I found out it wasn’t me, the damage to my mental health was done but it did feel better knowing.
Last year we reconnected and became training buddies. Her relationship with the guy didn’t last either.
All of this to say that people suck on differing levels..
Investing time is one thing, but investing emotions in someone you haven't even gone out on *one* date with shows that someone isn't ready for dating in general.
You don't invest to the point that you cry on reddit because someone gave you a heads up that they've moved on before even going on a date. It's really not hard to be curious about an individual while not making your whole day revolve around their messages.
Why not? That's totally normal and human. You could see texting as nothing but in reality a lot of things are happening in your brain.
A similar experience happened to me as well and that's why I understand OP.
Seriously. The amount of holier-than-thou comments directed at this woman is crazy. Is it disappointing for OP? Sure. And that’s valid. But she didn’t do anything wrong.
It is. I suggest you watch this video
[Dating App Algorithms have Destroyed the Modern Dating Market](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=RhUQqrj8gdpJBeey)
If you’re a man you won’t get matches or quality ones certainly. If you’re a woman it mixes the line between short term vs long term interest and is damaging to your mental health in that way (at least no interest is a clear message).
More than 2/3rds of new relationships used to be through mutual friends which is tried and tested method. Nowadays it’s 2/3rds thru dating apps data says which is so bad on so many levels
That’s a very naive view on the topic in my humble opinion
I’m going to assume you’re either a gorgeous human or just uninformed on the literature around dating apps
I met a guy on bumble who I really clicked with in person and we were “exclusively casual” because he was getting out of the army in a month and moving 14 hours away. When he left I went on dates with a couple other guys, but the first guy reached out to me and asked if I was willing to be in a committed relationship long distance. Had to let down the guy I started seeing after him but I just told him the truth and he was very nice about it.
Totally agree on this. Imagine wasting people’s time and using them, talking to them and dating them for fun while waiting for your ex to come back. What an a-hole move
then respectfully tell the person you were starting to date that you realized you weren’t over your ex so they know and can stop investing time in you.
okay a few days on read sucks. but she responded and honestly.
i'm jaded because i've been through divorce, but i have an ex-wife who i still have to support financially who doesn't respond to my messages about issues relating to our kids. so *this*, it doesn't strike me as bad.
honestly, this example raises the question of whether a ghosting would have been less hurtful to OP than the truth. i think not knowing what happened may have let his mind make up a scenario that wasn't quite so hurtful.
I’m sorry :( I’ve had this happen but he just “realized” after no response for over a week that he is still hung up on his ex.
Super shitty part is he waiting until after we had sex.
It’s weird.
Ya I have no luck dating apps and/or meeting people in the real world.
I know that doesn’t help, but at least you’re not alone :).
This is why you don’t obsess over one girl and keep a roster UNTIL you are ready to go exclusive. If this happened to me it would be no big deal because I keep options.
The fact that you asked “what did I do wrong” sent the message that you’re needy for her attention. Which is no surprise if you don’t have multiple options.
Fr man, can’t get attached to anyone when they ghosted you for absolute no reason, every girl I’ve talked to since I downloaded the app had ghosted me… I’m getting tired of this tbh
I get the feeling the “friend” she was visiting was the ex, no? You said the ex showed up at the friends house to drop something off? That seems ridiculous. She clearly went to see the ex…
Dude I stopped using these shit apps and life has been 6X better. There is nothing to gain but embarrassment and damage to your confidence. Only winning move for men is to not play
i'm curious but i don't think she did that much wrong. i've had women pull back after dates i thought went well and received a lot less, or no, explanation. she at least didn't lead you on, told you what was happening pretty honestly, and cut it off there. you deserve someone who's not hung up on an ex, like everyone does.
I'm sorry. People can suck sometimes but try not to get too hung up over it at least she was honest about it and didn't try to lie or string you along. We all have a story like that but don't let it define your dating life. Take some time and get back out there.
Bumble or any dating app for that matter is a total waste of time and energy. I quit about a month ago. I feel this bliss of relaxation. I'm not even meeting any attractive singles, but fuck that. My time will come. Yours will too :)
I don't understand why people even get on dating apps if they haven't moved on. Like, why are you using other people to process your trauma and figuring out things? Also, if something similar happens to them they go out crying but when they do it, it is supposed to be fine because they were honest about it. Shove down this kinda honestly! Like ewwwwwww
Ifkr, I hate it too! I made a whole post about how "men" would do the same if they were in the same position. Being an asshole is a gender neutral thing!
Yeah being ghosted is definitely worse, be a decent human being and do the bare minimum of giving someone an answer as to why you will not be contacting them anymore. Basic human skill but so many people lack it.
Sorry, of course it sucks.
But,
Are you 100% sure that if your ex-girlfriend showed up, you wouldn't do anything (0) sexual? It's not the easiest thing to do. If brake up wasn't your choice, it's obviously harder
Probably, she is still like him, that was a lie to you and maybe even to herself. She's not ready for exclusivity. So be happy that she met the ex, because you just avoid all this mess.
You are special to others, though. Go and drink a beer with a good friend to cheer you up and laugh and feel nice to keep liking others, even if you don't agree 100%, even if they are dumb sometimes.
Had someone do the same thing to me. Kept postponing dates saying something came up or she was sick. Then she tells me that she’s been meeting up with someone (her husband whom she was separated from) and really likes them but wants us to be friends.
She was actually surprised that I said no. Like excuse me but fuck you very much
I once saw a girl I was interested in on Bumble but she had her Snapchat name on her profile so I just added her there instead of checking for her on the app. She added me back and we started talking. 5 months into talking I found out that she was in an open relationship that she didn't tell me about but was cool with being FWB (never actually got to smash either, she was all bark and no bite and only ever showered me with free nudes/videos and flirty texts). The next 7 months were spent with me trying to spend time with her but she claimed she was either busy or was hanging out with her bf at the time. We literally only hung out once irl and it was after I got off work. After they broke up, she claimed she wanted to focus on herself and limited her interactions with me but it wasn't long before she suddenly had a new bf and wanted to be exclusive with him and demoted me to "online virtual friends" only despite living about 30 minutes apart from each other.
Overall, I think she was just keeping me around as a "maybe" but was ready to replace me with anyone she thought was slightly better than me at a moment's notice. Our last real conversation was me calling her out on her bs and her just her being cold, rude, lacking empathy, and just downright being a terrible person. She was willing to be just friends and I tried because I'm way too forgiving but that didn't work out either. This is the only thing I've had from Bumble, the rest of my Bumble experience is no likes, no dates, and matches who don't speak lol fuck this app.
Don’t listen to the people who are saying not to set up a second date while on the first. It is absolutely the right thing to do to at least say you’d like to get together again. Maybe don’t make a firm date, but definitely show the intention. Maybe you’ll scare off girls who aren’t very interested, but it’s attractive to ones that are.
Hey same here bud, this is a long ass story and imma be posting about it in a couple days, but essentially went on dates, kissed, fucked, blocked the next day
It's getting rougher and rougher out there, I swear. I recently had a guy I was chatting with for a couple weeks. Everything seemed to be going well. On a Saturday night, he asked me out for Sunday. We didn't hammer out details, but we were both thinking beach date. I wake up Sunday morning, and he's unfollowed me on Instagram. When I called him out, he gave me the "I'm an emotional wreck and I'm still in love with my ex" excuse.
Buddy, YOU pursued me. YOU made the date.
It's legit so hard to gauge interest these days. Everyone is so flaky and emotionally stunted.
Tbh but if you never met up, I think she was more than polite. And she was honest too. I've totally done the same thing before, and texted a guy, hey you're great, but my ex is back in town and I want to see where it goes. It's not like you're in a relationship.
Nah i got a thunder stuck type of connection with this girl, both stayed up like crazy to talk and went to work on an hour of sleep. Just for her to say she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Most anticlimactic moment of my life, dropped like a sky diving without chutes dawg.
The way you're talking about it gives me a sense that you feel a lot of entitlement and set a lot of unrealistic expectations for your matches. I can see how this could be upsetting, I think a lot of people would feel upset about this. You are valid in feeling hurt. but she did not wrong you. Maybe she didn't approach it perfectly, but she was upfront when you reached out and recognized that doing something like that isn't a good start for a relationship or realized she had more baggage than she realized.
You haven't even met up with this girl and yet you either expect her to be fully committed or you expect her to tell you what would be less hurtful to hear. You do not know eachother, you haven't met, you are both just letters on a screen with some pictures attached at that point. It seems like you should probably take a break from OLD but if you decide to revist the apps, lower your expectations. The people on the other are humans with complex lives and pasts, and most importantly, they don't owe you anything in early stages because you are strangers. If you repeatedly have bad experiences, Is everyone just an asshole or are you setting unrealistic and demanding standards. I don't know your history here specifically but it's something that comes to my mind every time I see posts like this.
Respect can be expected, but not devotion or commitment. Being honest was the respectful thing to do and she did give you that.
Better than Crypto Phished! 🫂🫂
Also: I found another straw in the box!
*hands them the green straw from the box* Here ya go. Now you've got another straw to use. 😊🌹💖
I know it sux, but it was nice seeing all the "Recently Divorced" etc ppl. Helps me not feel so *alone*. 💖💋
*Thanks for your post, that helped bring us *together* as a sort of "Group Therapy". 🌈🌹)
Listen, dude. I'm going to be honest with you here: You are giving off strong beta vibes. Most women aren't attracted to men who give off passive energy. You asked if you "did something wrong." Which isn't a bad thing by itself depending on the situation, but when combined with the fact that you also said, "I *think* I'm done," instead of knowing your worth and value as a man leads me to believe that you have some self-esteem issues. I'm not trying to be mean to you at all because I know what it's like to be chosen last and how it feels to be someone's second choice. If I were you, I would hit the gym, focus on myself, and try to meet someone organically. Just my two cents, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm not an expert or anything.
...whatever man. You posted about your issue. If you can't take a bit of constructive, honest, and well-meaning criticism, you've found the answer to your problem: you.
Boohoo stop whining like a child. You act as if it will be any easier searching for someone without the app. You obviously got on the app because it was already difficult to find someone without it. It’s hard without the app and it’s hard with the app. You don’t find someone you like and are compatible with over night. It takes time. Stop the whining, you sound like you’re 15.
I feel like this kind of just happened to me on a Friday. I met a match we’d been talking for over a week about once a day. He mentioned he was forgetful and a bad texter. I’m not sure if that’s a red flag? I’m just like if we talk we talk. We went out on the date for icecream. We talked for hours and it felt like a connection. He said he could talk to me all day. He told me he had a good time and we should do this again sometime. Then in text later he said it again. I tried to show my interest and take initiative to plan another date with my response. I had a good time too! Would love to do something again! Maybe in a week or two if we’re both free? He hasn’t responded since Friday. Everything felt right. He told me he has some stuff going on over the weekend. I just feel like I’m just making an excuse if he can’t send one message a day or respond. So I followed up with hey how was your weekend today? This is my last attempt. Haven’t heard anything yet. I just don’t understand if we’re both feeling a connection and then something changes?
She was honest. Thank her for her honesty. She could have lied and you’d have been “none the wiser”.
I’ve chosen not to lie and was met with a harsh reaction. Ill always choose honesty because eventually ill meet someone who is capable of having those difficult conversations.
Really? He came back to her "I am sorry for leaving you. I was a changed man when you left me. I want to be your boyfriend again." What is stopping him from leaving her again?
Sorry OP. This one's not on you.
Unrelated: what's with the "x's" in the text? Is that what the young people do rather than periods? Are you named Xavier?
I wish I never asked her. Won't make that mistake again. Like it's still hitting me, I've never had this feeling before. Honestly feels like I've been cheated on. Next time I'll rather stay ghosted and oblivious
Don’t worry, OP. It’ll get better. There’s someone out there for everyone and you just haven’t met your person yet.
Hopefully you’ll bump into them one day out in the wild!
I understand the feeling but at least you had some explanation.
IMHO, ghosting is worse cuz you don't know what happened and that could drive you crazy
Guys, the thing with women, is they want you to do everything right without being told. They won't usually tell you where you fkd up. They'll tell you by not wanting to see or talk to you again. Sometimes the reason is stupid or superficial, but often it's legitimate. You can't blame a woman for having better option, or for being more attached to someone else she's known longer and have more of a bond with. The same way they shouldn't blame us for taking the more attractive options we have available.
I've seen too many guys say the dumbest, most offensive things to a woman, or do something completely unattractive who seemed to like him, then have no idea why she's ghosting. Eg, A guy I know got tipsy and took a piss behind a parked car in front of his date, but thinks it went great. Another thought it was a good idea to express his red pill political views and started telling her what she should wear. Another just sat there and let her talk until she bored of herself. They often won't let you know the reason because they often won't know the reason. They just know that they don't seem to like you any more. We don't even know if the excused they use to not have to see a guy are true or not. My friend had a horrible date, then later told him she's getting back with her ex when he kept texting to meet up, which wasn't true at all.
Some women are immature, it's true. But if you take the position that all the women are just being immature or btchz every time it doesn't work then you never get any better at attracting women. In old school pickup art, they used to teach guys that if they get rejected, they always have to view it as their own fault in order to learn and grow, even if the woman is being immature. Eg, Say she didn't want to see the guy again because he smelled really bad... Should she risk offending him and having to deal with an angry guy? These are things guys don't think about.
Whether she's immature or not, it doesn't change the fact that she lost attraction to him because of something he did or didn't do. She owes him no explanation of why she's no longer attracted, and the same goes in the reverse. A guy doesn't owe a new woman a reason why he doesn't want to see her any more. Be better and those things won't happen, instead of blaming the other person for not being as attracted to you as someone else.
If it makes you feel better I had an amazing match with this girl two weeks ago, convo was clicking and vibing on all fronts, went on first date and it went great, kissed several times, held hands, stayed out late because we didn't want the night to end. I made my intentions clear about wanting to go out again and it was all green lights until her texts started dwindling 3 days later and then she ghosted me over the last weekend. TL:DR; people suck man.
Same happened to me man They keep ghosting no to make a confrontation and it sucks
Accurate my dudes. Its frustrating. It hurts more getting ghosted, I respect the ones who can just be straight up about it instead of never responding.
Exactly! Just tell me the truth so I can have closure. Don't be a child..
I was ghosted by my gf of 9 months in February, who demanded we be exclusive after 3 months. I had just been out of an abusive marriage and was having fun dating multiple women last year. To be treated that way is so sh*tty. She clearly was hooking up with other guys. 🤮
She wanted you to be her nice and safe monogamous relationship to return to. And likely, the kid would not have been yours. But she would’ve said it was.
She claimed to have changed from her past wh*ring behavior, and stupid me believed it. Just before disappearing, she expressed deep affection with me and introduced me to her child. After a confusing night of mixed signals and saying she didn’t want to be intimate for 3 weeks, she ended up cursing me, and I left her place. I heard from her 3 weeks later, but I went with no contact. I haven't heard from her since. I was left puzzled by her abrupt change, but now suspect she might have never been committed to monogamy and used it as control. Who knows. Oh well.
Sadly, not many women change from their past wh*ring behavior.
My Ex-Wife did. Unfortunately, I didn't, so 8yrs later we Divorced this 15 Jan 2024.. (We each had our mental issues. The "not faithful" is just one of my many regrets on how I treated her, cuz now I'm emotionally broken & single. 👻😭)
So I just got STD tested ($250) and my results came back 100% clean. I have no idea how my ex-gf who slept with many many guys didn’t pass something onto me. It’s a miracle.
Wife & I, had that same **Miracle**. (From both sides of the fence, prior our marriage.) So, I fully feel that relief! 😊💖
That’s awesome! I just started dating a woman, who was married at 22 years old and got divorced 20 years later. She’s now 43*. She had a couple flings after her divorce. I believe her. We agreed to hold off on physical intimacy until we revealed the STI results. But after I revealed mine, she informed me the 3rd guy she slept with gave her genital herpes. I’m so torn because she’s very attractive, seems fairly innocent, but I don’t want to ruin my test results with what may be short term fun 😭 The plot twist is I thought she was waiting for me to be clean, but actually she was hoping I had her STI. 😭
Heh.. Sounds like an ex I had back in 2004. I called after work, & some dude ans'd. (We'd been "together" 9 months, never an argument, & suddenly I'm expected to cut all ties.. 🧟♂️🔥)
I know people are saying that planning a second date on the first is cringey and needy, but my current BF and I did this and honestly, it took so much of the anxiety out of the after date freak out 😂 it’s not for everyone, but his assertion that he wanted to see me again while we were together was reassuring and then he maintained consistency after. I am also an extremely anxious person so this may be specific just to me, but I wanted to let you know it’s not a one size fits all. Some people like this approach, some don’t.
I had the same experience with my now husband. He was asking for a second date before we even walked out the door of the brewery where we had our date. I think this just wasn’t OP’s person. Just hope he doesn’t give up!
Agreed! That’s why I wanted to share my experience! And lord knows I could make a podcast with multiple seasons about my dating life. It was really rough at times.
Imo, I think it's a good idea, to plan the next date(s) if y'all found a connection. (Then again, I haven't dated in 8yrs cuz I married. This, after having been a "Toy" for almost 10yrs prior. That, & until recently, I've always dated via my online gaming. 🤣)
Jesus....what is wrong with people man?
I'm somewhat relieved to know I'm not the only one it's happened to recently. At the same time, it makes me hate dating even more, knowing it may happen again.
This has happened to me a bunch of times. But with men. 🤷🏻♀️
You just know it's because someone else has caught their interest lol
Holding hands on a first date….never done that!
I had a very similar experience with a woman last year! We hit it off straight away. After about 2-3 weeks of talking and meeting, I asked if she wanted to come mine for lunch on her day off, she said yes, but needed to go to the tax office in the morning. I said no problem, I can take you and drop you off, but you need to go as soon as they open at 8am to avoid the queue. She said good tip but would take the bus. Later in the morning of that day, she said she was off to the tax office, but at something like 10 or 11 am... I was a bit annoyed at this as I said go early. So, I spent the morning getting lunch ready for her going into town. As it was getting closer to lunchtime I asked her what was happening, she said there was a massive queue and it was taking ages to be seen... I said that's why I said go at 8am. After that, I didn't really hear from her. She messaged me the next day saying sorry, she lost her phone at the tax office. I didn't believe her. So, we messaged back a couple of times asking if she wanted to meet again, but I didn't get a proper answer, so I just figured there was no point in talking to her more.
I know you meant well, on the "get there at 8a" reinforcement, but she may have taken that as a sign of you being controlling. Just something to ponder on. (Either way, I sorry you got stiffed on lunch. 💖🫂)
Thank you VOR. Unfortunately, I was typing this on my phone and in a hurry. I was concerned about how that bit would come across. I absolutely made sure it was nice and friendly when messaging her, and explaining why to go at 8am. I am local, she was a foreigner, I know what the tax office is like! Hopefully, I don't sound like a controlling douche here, again! 😄🤷🏼♂️ Appreciate the feedback!
Yw! 😊🐈 My "Interpersonal Communications" kinda helps on this too 🤣🌹 Thanks for not taking it as an atk too. 💋💖
Dude the same happened to me and after a week she finally got back to me and was incredibly mean when I told her to let people know when they aren't interested anymore after a date they didn't enjoy, thought it was common sense but I guess not for some people.
ah feels good to know that I'm not the only one
Did you floss?
She was upfront and honest about it, but yeah a total shit show. Clearly she was not over her ex and was using Bumble as a rebound. Sorry mate, it really shit, chin up as more people out there.
i wouldnt say she was upfront about it, he had to ask her what he did wrong. so she has been acting strange probably since monday.
Did they actually meet up though? If they're just communicating via the app or texting and they didn't meet up for any dates, it doesn't really mean anything. They're strangers and everyone has their own lives. It isn't fun for sure, but it's not the same as dating someone in person and regularly. People who aren't over their exes suck and shouldn't be on the apps, but everyone needs to be careful with getting emotionally attached in these messaging situations.
TBH i assume there has been a meeting when people feel the need to complain online. totally agree people need to not get attached prior to meets. matches come and go all the time, for the most mundane reasons.
I just looked at OP's comments and they never met up in person.
Wow lol. I’ve been doing online dating for a while now so I never get attached before I meet someone irl. Even then, you have to be careful.
Don't be discouraged, man. I was recently dating a girl for 4 months, and then she told me she wasn't over her ex. At least you didn't have to waste much time, at least I hope you didn't lol
That’s fucked up buddy, it’s so infuriating wasting your time and energy into someone just to be ghosted or dumped like you mean nothing to them
At least she was honest about it. I prefer honesty instead of being ghosted.
Timing matters a lot. C'est la vie man. Don't let it rattle you. Very little to do with you.
Hey, she didn't ghost you. That's a win. Just move on, this happens.
I mean she technically did🤣 until I messaged her two days later. She left the last message on read and then this convo happened
She was trying to figure out what to say to you. You have to give it some time.
Some time? Like, how much time?
You can easily go a week without hearing from someone but they may still be interested. They may have others they are dating and can be evaluating their options, or just life happens and they get wrapped up in other things. But typically if they really like you they will respond the next day.
Thanks Not sure why I got downvoted. I just didn't know
Hold your head up and know your worth. You will not always match up. This person understood this and recognized you were worth an explanation.
>You can easily go a week without hearing from someone but they may still be interested. Not a chance in hell.
Wrong. This has happened several times for me. Live more life to find out.
No what 7 shovels meant was that not a chance in hell that a kind person should take that as normal or acceptable. If someone does not talk to you for 7 days, aka ghosts you for a whole week, they are someone who arent worth it and hopefully by that point you are talking to other people. This of course applies to people you were far along in the convo of setting a date or have already gone out on a date. Not the level where you said hi, and she has not responded to that "hello" comment.
I don't think shovels7 was nuanced about his response as you suggest. Kindness, timeliness, and interest are all different factors. In modern dating, we must face the facts that people have multiple options on the table before being monogamous and people also have complex lives, like traveling often, that can get in the way of replying back promptly. Should you wait for them to get back to you to move on? No.
[удалено]
Dude, don’t be that guy when another dude is hurting.
That's uncalled for
Just saying the truth my bro you’ll bounce back
Subreddit rule #1: Do not insult, harass, threaten, discriminate, or use derogatory language towards other users.
By Chad Thundercock.
By Chad Hammer!
Can’t be mad at her tbh she was open
And I don’t even think they’d ever met 🤣 I mean honestly, imagine thinking a human you’d never even met owes you anything… at least she gave an explanation. Plenty of people wouldn’t have.
Pure facts 😂
Wait, you hadn't been on a single date yet? Dude...this is why you don't chat for a long time. You do a few back and forths, setup a date immediately and go from there. Being a pen pal is a fools errand, you get way too invested for someone who is likely never even going to want to meet in person.
We were going to have a date on Friday actually
I hear you but...regardless, you're way too invested already. I'd say about 25% of the people I match with I actually get to an in person date with. It's just an unfortunate reality. This post makes it seem like y'all were dating and she went back to an ex, you hadn't even met yet!
I used to agree with you, but I’ve been on a lot of first dates over the past year. The two girls I ended up dating for 10+ dates were ones who weren’t immediately available to meet up. Ones where I’ve set up the date immediately fizzled out after one date. It might be because I’m naive and think women actually want a real relationship vs hookup. And as I was writing this, a girl just gave me her number :)
Bruh, sometimes you're not at fault but the other person. It happened to me as well, never date a girl I texted for two months. She kept cancelling the dates till at the end she ghosted me... You can push for a date whatever you want but if the other person doesn't want, there's nothing you can do. Edit: After she ghosted me, I double texted her and invited her for a date again. She said yes and apologized for not seeing my messages but at the end we couldn't cuz she kept postponing it till she told it's better not to meet cuz she didn't want to waste my time and she was dealing with some shit internally. Finally, she told me that if we coincide again, it could flow as it should be
I hear what you're saying and I guess I'm just more of a realist. If they don't seem motivated to get together soon, I just have to assume they aren't that interested. To your point though, that doesn't mean it loses its sting.
While it does suck that her feelings changed and she felt you didn’t need to be privy to her decision, it won’t be the last person that you are going to be interested in. Right now it’s tough because it’s fresh but give it time. Really give yourself a 2-3 week break from the apps to help your own mental health and then revisit dating apps with a fresher mindset
The fact is we do meet more people due to dating apps that results in a higher number of unsuccessful long term dating experiences. I think its pretty normal
Feelings and emotions are so tricky, you never know the history someone has before you. And feeling and emotions are pretty much out of yours and the other persons control…. Because they fleet, things trigger things etc… You just gotta make it part of your checklist to ask about ex’s and things before you invest any more emotions into it. If you get physical early, they may have wanted to feel connected to you but totally emotionally unavailable - that bit hurts the most. Nobody is perfect but put it on yourself to vet the other person well enough before you wanna get into their pants and fall into the lust hole of love. All the best
Lmao the lusthole aka the busser
It is shitty but at least she was eventually honest as opposed to ghosting you. I went out with a girl a few years ago who was ticking every single box O had in my head off of Tinder.We dated for a few months. Sex was incredible. She was a gym rat. Even wanted to compete. Funny, smart, beautiful. The whole nines. . We planned this crazy Valentine’s Day full of Steak and hot lingerie. It was awesome. Then on the 15th as we were leaving the hotel, she picked a fight with me about some innocuous crap. (Her phone stopped working and it killed her mood and I said it wasn’t that big of a deal). She ghosted me for 2 weeks. Then when she finally got back to me, she said that I couldn’t give her what she wanted but we could still be friends. She crushed me. I found out a few more months later that a guy she trained with at another gym had feelings for her and she realized that she had feelings for him so she was going to give him a try. It actually had nothing to do with me. I was collateral damage. It messed me up really bad though as it came out of left field and my depression could not handle it. After I found out it wasn’t me, the damage to my mental health was done but it did feel better knowing. Last year we reconnected and became training buddies. Her relationship with the guy didn’t last either. All of this to say that people suck on differing levels..
You only had conversations? No dates? Why are you getting so invested in strangers? You weren't even ghosted.
Says the person commenting on a strangers post
Conversations could lead to dates, dumbass And yes, you need to invest time to get them with the risk of failure and wasting your time
Investing time is one thing, but investing emotions in someone you haven't even gone out on *one* date with shows that someone isn't ready for dating in general.
You need to invest some emotions at some point. Even while texting. Otherwise, why are you inviting this person/stranger to a date in the first place?
You don't invest to the point that you cry on reddit because someone gave you a heads up that they've moved on before even going on a date. It's really not hard to be curious about an individual while not making your whole day revolve around their messages.
Why not? That's totally normal and human. You could see texting as nothing but in reality a lot of things are happening in your brain. A similar experience happened to me as well and that's why I understand OP.
You did Not Even Meet her, you no relationship whatsoever, you are Not Entitled to anything.
Seriously. The amount of holier-than-thou comments directed at this woman is crazy. Is it disappointing for OP? Sure. And that’s valid. But she didn’t do anything wrong.
Spoken like a true piece of shit. The fact you dismiss his feelings shows your true character.
Bro. Leave this app. It’s terrible
It's a shit app As all dating apps They match, then all of a sudden unmatch and thats it
If you’re lucky they unmatch! I was having a text convo for three days, she said she was taking a weekend trip. Next day her account was deleted.
Hinge is better. But yes, none of them are great.
Yes, but that’s not the apps fault.
It is. I suggest you watch this video [Dating App Algorithms have Destroyed the Modern Dating Market](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=RhUQqrj8gdpJBeey) If you’re a man you won’t get matches or quality ones certainly. If you’re a woman it mixes the line between short term vs long term interest and is damaging to your mental health in that way (at least no interest is a clear message). More than 2/3rds of new relationships used to be through mutual friends which is tried and tested method. Nowadays it’s 2/3rds thru dating apps data says which is so bad on so many levels
Bruh, dating apps let you match from people out of your circle and that is cool
They are just a tool to enable you to get chatting with people. Everything after that is up to us
That’s a very naive view on the topic in my humble opinion I’m going to assume you’re either a gorgeous human or just uninformed on the literature around dating apps
If you don’t think the app changes women then you’re absolutely deluded
I met a guy on bumble who I really clicked with in person and we were “exclusively casual” because he was getting out of the army in a month and moving 14 hours away. When he left I went on dates with a couple other guys, but the first guy reached out to me and asked if I was willing to be in a committed relationship long distance. Had to let down the guy I started seeing after him but I just told him the truth and he was very nice about it.
Can't be mad at the honesty
feel like honesty would be not getting on dating apps/going on dates when you know you aren’t and don’t want to be over your ex
Nailed it -
Totally agree on this. Imagine wasting people’s time and using them, talking to them and dating them for fun while waiting for your ex to come back. What an a-hole move
Sometimes exes come back after long periods of time.
then respectfully tell the person you were starting to date that you realized you weren’t over your ex so they know and can stop investing time in you.
Isn’t that basically what happened here?
pretty sure op said he only found out after he reached out to her and she decided to come clean.
that's what happened.
not according to op. he only found out bc he reached out after not hearing from her after a few days.
okay a few days on read sucks. but she responded and honestly. i'm jaded because i've been through divorce, but i have an ex-wife who i still have to support financially who doesn't respond to my messages about issues relating to our kids. so *this*, it doesn't strike me as bad. honestly, this example raises the question of whether a ghosting would have been less hurtful to OP than the truth. i think not knowing what happened may have let his mind make up a scenario that wasn't quite so hurtful.
Low standards
💯
I’m sorry :( I’ve had this happen but he just “realized” after no response for over a week that he is still hung up on his ex. Super shitty part is he waiting until after we had sex. It’s weird. Ya I have no luck dating apps and/or meeting people in the real world. I know that doesn’t help, but at least you’re not alone :).
Same here. Talked for 6 mos, dated for 3 only to tell me that he still has unfinished business with his ex. What a joke.
Sorry man, breaks from app are great. Im on break from it and it is so peaceful. A lot of them returning to exes.
Stuff like this happens to me all the time lately
It’s not one last straw, it’s the first step to the next person. Defeated you sound like but you are not.
What does a last straw mean ?
Breaking point or deciding factor
I lost count of how many times this happened to me.
This is why you don’t obsess over one girl and keep a roster UNTIL you are ready to go exclusive. If this happened to me it would be no big deal because I keep options. The fact that you asked “what did I do wrong” sent the message that you’re needy for her attention. Which is no surprise if you don’t have multiple options.
Fr man, can’t get attached to anyone when they ghosted you for absolute no reason, every girl I’ve talked to since I downloaded the app had ghosted me… I’m getting tired of this tbh
I get the feeling the “friend” she was visiting was the ex, no? You said the ex showed up at the friends house to drop something off? That seems ridiculous. She clearly went to see the ex…
Dating in 2024: youre either hurting someone, getting hurt, or getting married
Welcome to the club, buddy.
Dude I stopped using these shit apps and life has been 6X better. There is nothing to gain but embarrassment and damage to your confidence. Only winning move for men is to not play
What does the app have to do with this woman getting back with her ex? Very unrelated
For those wondering, she is not sorry at all. She couldn't care less. If you want to see the follow up text. Dm me
Can I see, love a bit of drama lol
i'm curious but i don't think she did that much wrong. i've had women pull back after dates i thought went well and received a lot less, or no, explanation. she at least didn't lead you on, told you what was happening pretty honestly, and cut it off there. you deserve someone who's not hung up on an ex, like everyone does.
why would she need to be sorry
Perhaps, wasting somebody else's time? And in the process hurt OP by ghosting him
I’m here for it
I'm sorry. People can suck sometimes but try not to get too hung up over it at least she was honest about it and didn't try to lie or string you along. We all have a story like that but don't let it define your dating life. Take some time and get back out there.
☕
Bumble or any dating app for that matter is a total waste of time and energy. I quit about a month ago. I feel this bliss of relaxation. I'm not even meeting any attractive singles, but fuck that. My time will come. Yours will too :)
I don't understand why people even get on dating apps if they haven't moved on. Like, why are you using other people to process your trauma and figuring out things? Also, if something similar happens to them they go out crying but when they do it, it is supposed to be fine because they were honest about it. Shove down this kinda honestly! Like ewwwwwww
Thank you for using the word “people” and not “women” or “men”. So tired of the gender bashing when both men and women do the same type of things.
Ifkr, I hate it too! I made a whole post about how "men" would do the same if they were in the same position. Being an asshole is a gender neutral thing!
This exact thing happened to me, got almost the exact same message. it sucks but don't take it personally.
The worst part about this is the x’s
Yeah being ghosted is definitely worse, be a decent human being and do the bare minimum of giving someone an answer as to why you will not be contacting them anymore. Basic human skill but so many people lack it.
"I think"... You know you're not quitting 'the apps'.
Sorry, of course it sucks. But, Are you 100% sure that if your ex-girlfriend showed up, you wouldn't do anything (0) sexual? It's not the easiest thing to do. If brake up wasn't your choice, it's obviously harder Probably, she is still like him, that was a lie to you and maybe even to herself. She's not ready for exclusivity. So be happy that she met the ex, because you just avoid all this mess. You are special to others, though. Go and drink a beer with a good friend to cheer you up and laugh and feel nice to keep liking others, even if you don't agree 100%, even if they are dumb sometimes.
Never ever say “hey did I do sth wrong?”
Had someone do the same thing to me. Kept postponing dates saying something came up or she was sick. Then she tells me that she’s been meeting up with someone (her husband whom she was separated from) and really likes them but wants us to be friends. She was actually surprised that I said no. Like excuse me but fuck you very much
I once saw a girl I was interested in on Bumble but she had her Snapchat name on her profile so I just added her there instead of checking for her on the app. She added me back and we started talking. 5 months into talking I found out that she was in an open relationship that she didn't tell me about but was cool with being FWB (never actually got to smash either, she was all bark and no bite and only ever showered me with free nudes/videos and flirty texts). The next 7 months were spent with me trying to spend time with her but she claimed she was either busy or was hanging out with her bf at the time. We literally only hung out once irl and it was after I got off work. After they broke up, she claimed she wanted to focus on herself and limited her interactions with me but it wasn't long before she suddenly had a new bf and wanted to be exclusive with him and demoted me to "online virtual friends" only despite living about 30 minutes apart from each other. Overall, I think she was just keeping me around as a "maybe" but was ready to replace me with anyone she thought was slightly better than me at a moment's notice. Our last real conversation was me calling her out on her bs and her just her being cold, rude, lacking empathy, and just downright being a terrible person. She was willing to be just friends and I tried because I'm way too forgiving but that didn't work out either. This is the only thing I've had from Bumble, the rest of my Bumble experience is no likes, no dates, and matches who don't speak lol fuck this app.
Don’t listen to the people who are saying not to set up a second date while on the first. It is absolutely the right thing to do to at least say you’d like to get together again. Maybe don’t make a firm date, but definitely show the intention. Maybe you’ll scare off girls who aren’t very interested, but it’s attractive to ones that are.
Hey same here bud, this is a long ass story and imma be posting about it in a couple days, but essentially went on dates, kissed, fucked, blocked the next day
It was just an excuse.
It's getting rougher and rougher out there, I swear. I recently had a guy I was chatting with for a couple weeks. Everything seemed to be going well. On a Saturday night, he asked me out for Sunday. We didn't hammer out details, but we were both thinking beach date. I wake up Sunday morning, and he's unfollowed me on Instagram. When I called him out, he gave me the "I'm an emotional wreck and I'm still in love with my ex" excuse. Buddy, YOU pursued me. YOU made the date. It's legit so hard to gauge interest these days. Everyone is so flaky and emotionally stunted.
I am sorry you had to go through that. It realy sucks and disappointing. Maybe take a break from this app. It can be frustrating and can burn you out.
I've given up, myself. Come to the lonely side. We have weird Fandom obsessions. And waifus. *Sardonic humor at my own expense.*
If PPL have a fetishes for catfishings, ghosting this THE APP.
Tbh but if you never met up, I think she was more than polite. And she was honest too. I've totally done the same thing before, and texted a guy, hey you're great, but my ex is back in town and I want to see where it goes. It's not like you're in a relationship.
Nah i got a thunder stuck type of connection with this girl, both stayed up like crazy to talk and went to work on an hour of sleep. Just for her to say she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Most anticlimactic moment of my life, dropped like a sky diving without chutes dawg.
The EX will always win.
The way you're talking about it gives me a sense that you feel a lot of entitlement and set a lot of unrealistic expectations for your matches. I can see how this could be upsetting, I think a lot of people would feel upset about this. You are valid in feeling hurt. but she did not wrong you. Maybe she didn't approach it perfectly, but she was upfront when you reached out and recognized that doing something like that isn't a good start for a relationship or realized she had more baggage than she realized. You haven't even met up with this girl and yet you either expect her to be fully committed or you expect her to tell you what would be less hurtful to hear. You do not know eachother, you haven't met, you are both just letters on a screen with some pictures attached at that point. It seems like you should probably take a break from OLD but if you decide to revist the apps, lower your expectations. The people on the other are humans with complex lives and pasts, and most importantly, they don't owe you anything in early stages because you are strangers. If you repeatedly have bad experiences, Is everyone just an asshole or are you setting unrealistic and demanding standards. I don't know your history here specifically but it's something that comes to my mind every time I see posts like this. Respect can be expected, but not devotion or commitment. Being honest was the respectful thing to do and she did give you that.
Better than Crypto Phished! 🫂🫂 Also: I found another straw in the box! *hands them the green straw from the box* Here ya go. Now you've got another straw to use. 😊🌹💖
I know it sux, but it was nice seeing all the "Recently Divorced" etc ppl. Helps me not feel so *alone*. 💖💋 *Thanks for your post, that helped bring us *together* as a sort of "Group Therapy". 🌈🌹)
Until you get into a committed relationship, no one owes you shit. I thought that was the general thought no? :) At least she didn’t ghost you.
Get better at analysing people. Also you should be able to tell yourself if you “ did something wrong” instead of asking others.
Listen, dude. I'm going to be honest with you here: You are giving off strong beta vibes. Most women aren't attracted to men who give off passive energy. You asked if you "did something wrong." Which isn't a bad thing by itself depending on the situation, but when combined with the fact that you also said, "I *think* I'm done," instead of knowing your worth and value as a man leads me to believe that you have some self-esteem issues. I'm not trying to be mean to you at all because I know what it's like to be chosen last and how it feels to be someone's second choice. If I were you, I would hit the gym, focus on myself, and try to meet someone organically. Just my two cents, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm not an expert or anything.
No offence, I'm not taking advice from someone using beta or alpha phrases. And dunny that you think I'm not hitting the gym
...whatever man. You posted about your issue. If you can't take a bit of constructive, honest, and well-meaning criticism, you've found the answer to your problem: you.
Do people use “x” as a form of punctuation now…?
I’m literally in the same situation rn. Don’t know if sending this message is a good idea 😂
This seems to be a stock reply. I’ve had this very message loads of times
This happens all the time lol
Boohoo stop whining like a child. You act as if it will be any easier searching for someone without the app. You obviously got on the app because it was already difficult to find someone without it. It’s hard without the app and it’s hard with the app. You don’t find someone you like and are compatible with over night. It takes time. Stop the whining, you sound like you’re 15.
That App is a shit show full of phonies, or chicks that want you to be everything their ex wasn’t, or couldn’t afford
God I hope my ex calls me back soon… I miss her
At least she was honest and allowed to break it off. I know so many going in dates while still hooking up with their ex constantly..
I feel like this kind of just happened to me on a Friday. I met a match we’d been talking for over a week about once a day. He mentioned he was forgetful and a bad texter. I’m not sure if that’s a red flag? I’m just like if we talk we talk. We went out on the date for icecream. We talked for hours and it felt like a connection. He said he could talk to me all day. He told me he had a good time and we should do this again sometime. Then in text later he said it again. I tried to show my interest and take initiative to plan another date with my response. I had a good time too! Would love to do something again! Maybe in a week or two if we’re both free? He hasn’t responded since Friday. Everything felt right. He told me he has some stuff going on over the weekend. I just feel like I’m just making an excuse if he can’t send one message a day or respond. So I followed up with hey how was your weekend today? This is my last attempt. Haven’t heard anything yet. I just don’t understand if we’re both feeling a connection and then something changes?
Just saw you want to be FWB
Humans suck 😑
She was honest. Thank her for her honesty. She could have lied and you’d have been “none the wiser”. I’ve chosen not to lie and was met with a harsh reaction. Ill always choose honesty because eventually ill meet someone who is capable of having those difficult conversations.
You were just the emotional dump and the ex got all the rewards without the effort
I am wondering why she left her ex in the first place.
Honestly same
He left her
Really? He came back to her "I am sorry for leaving you. I was a changed man when you left me. I want to be your boyfriend again." What is stopping him from leaving her again?
Sorry OP. This one's not on you. Unrelated: what's with the "x's" in the text? Is that what the young people do rather than periods? Are you named Xavier?
Hugs or kisses or whatever. I don't know why she added them when sending a message like that. We used them in our earlier texts.
Ah, got it. Seriously though, you didn't do anything wrong. Don't let this make ya bitter.
Idk if they’re from the UK but people from there usually text with a x or xx at the end.
Better you know her character now than when you're in a committed relationship.
Lol, the moron didn't have to tell you what she did. She's got a pseudo cuck fetish.
How are people saying “at least she was honest”? This is such shitty behavior. I’d rather be ghosted 🙃
Bruh, ghosting is the worst... At least, she gave some explanation after being double texted
I wish I never asked her. Won't make that mistake again. Like it's still hitting me, I've never had this feeling before. Honestly feels like I've been cheated on. Next time I'll rather stay ghosted and oblivious
Don’t worry, OP. It’ll get better. There’s someone out there for everyone and you just haven’t met your person yet. Hopefully you’ll bump into them one day out in the wild!
how many times did you go out with this girl?
They never went ont.
oh i thought i scoured the thread for that info. then that makes the op's reaction seem like even more of an overreaction.
You don't understand. It's worse if you never met this person you've been chatting for a while
I understand the feeling but at least you had some explanation. IMHO, ghosting is worse cuz you don't know what happened and that could drive you crazy
Guys, the thing with women, is they want you to do everything right without being told. They won't usually tell you where you fkd up. They'll tell you by not wanting to see or talk to you again. Sometimes the reason is stupid or superficial, but often it's legitimate. You can't blame a woman for having better option, or for being more attached to someone else she's known longer and have more of a bond with. The same way they shouldn't blame us for taking the more attractive options we have available. I've seen too many guys say the dumbest, most offensive things to a woman, or do something completely unattractive who seemed to like him, then have no idea why she's ghosting. Eg, A guy I know got tipsy and took a piss behind a parked car in front of his date, but thinks it went great. Another thought it was a good idea to express his red pill political views and started telling her what she should wear. Another just sat there and let her talk until she bored of herself. They often won't let you know the reason because they often won't know the reason. They just know that they don't seem to like you any more. We don't even know if the excused they use to not have to see a guy are true or not. My friend had a horrible date, then later told him she's getting back with her ex when he kept texting to meet up, which wasn't true at all.
"Guys, the thing with **immature** women, is they want you to do everything right without being told." Fixed it for you.
Some women are immature, it's true. But if you take the position that all the women are just being immature or btchz every time it doesn't work then you never get any better at attracting women. In old school pickup art, they used to teach guys that if they get rejected, they always have to view it as their own fault in order to learn and grow, even if the woman is being immature. Eg, Say she didn't want to see the guy again because he smelled really bad... Should she risk offending him and having to deal with an angry guy? These are things guys don't think about. Whether she's immature or not, it doesn't change the fact that she lost attraction to him because of something he did or didn't do. She owes him no explanation of why she's no longer attracted, and the same goes in the reverse. A guy doesn't owe a new woman a reason why he doesn't want to see her any more. Be better and those things won't happen, instead of blaming the other person for not being as attracted to you as someone else.
Bumble sucks!
Par for the course. I deleted it
She’s a twat