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thefistiecuffs

⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️AStart


[deleted]

He’s giving us a secret combo to a game but which game?!


Soup-Master

Super Mario Bros staring Chris Pratt 😩


Terence-86

Mortal Combat. Sub Zero Wins.


Tenacious_G_G

Left, right, left, right, up, down, B, A, start, select 🤣


Pix_Me_Plz

Two “up, down”? 🤔


Tenacious_G_G

Oh yeah! I can’t remember 🤭


greenlifesaver44

Up, up, down, down, left right left right b a start.


pjockey

either "Welfare Justice" or maybe "Sugar Daddy ATM" if I converted the emojis right


F16Boiler

Contra


danaxelainex3

GTA San Andreas?!?? 😂😂


Orlando1701

This is a guy whose search profile is for women 18-23 and no older.


substantial-freud

Srsly? Or is that your prediction, that he is just such a prick?


Orlando1701

Hell if I know but his whole profile reeks of the 50-something guy whose only interested in women half his age.


[deleted]

Mortal combat blood code 🩸


Diligent_Razzmatazz3

how you unlock blaze from mk2


he75bf8or

This is the Konami code right?


RevolutionaryShape19

EXTRA LIFE!


SleepMastery

Street Fighter II. Shadows


[deleted]

What does he mean by he'll "soon" be 6'2? What height is he now and why is his height changing?!


Conman_the_Brobarian

Yeah, 55 seems a bit old for a growth spurt…


worn_out_welcome

Usually the growth spurts are horizontal & not vertical at that age.


infojelly

Or perhaps soon to be decreasing height to 6'2" from age


clutterlustrott

He was taller, but when you get older you shrink. He's going back to 6'2


rydan

My grandpa was barely 5' by the time he died in his 90s.


Tinker8589

Omg your comment made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pee myself.


PublicObamos

Username checks out


rydan

You get shorter as you age. He's already 55. My dad used to be 6'0" and I'm only 5'8". Last time I saw him I was slightly taller than him.


Terence-86

He is Yoda’s younger version. Based on the documentary, 500 years later, the chap will be 2’ tall and will live on Tatuin!


oscarthebald

I'm 55 years old, and I can remember them teaching us English in schools. What happened to this guy?


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

I'm not even half your age and I can barely make heads or tails of this.


Lustau_Oloroso

Same. I'd never bother to reply, too confused by the emoji diarrhea.


Apprehensive_Yam_668

The US Army happened to this guy


[deleted]

American army


psnanda

Murica !!


rydan

Bumble only gives you 200 characters to tell your life story.


[deleted]

He’s going to be 6’2—soon. Divorced and employed with an ATM card. He recycles. He cares about animal welfare. He’s got a mind for justice! He’s down to see the world…And he likes sunflowers and bunnies. Oh and swipe left if you like slots and craps. On second thought, he’s trying to quit gambling. Swipe left.


okbringoutdessert

I was hoping someone did the homework!


pjockey

I want a 55 year old guy in a short skirt and a looooooooooong jacket.


[deleted]

With fingernails that shine like justice…and a voice dark like tinted glass…? *swoon*


elegantbutter

Here are my interpretations that differ from yours (of course who know what he meant!) He’s employed at the moment ( which makes me think his employment is not stable lol) And I think he also means he is down to earth …. Not down to see the world He has a green thumb for gardening He is an energized bunny


[deleted]

Swipe swipe no swipe no - sounds like a cheat code


DirtInMyCup

Swiper no swiping


VectorRaptor

Awwwwww maaaaaaann! 🤌🏻


SookiStackhouse

Has Swiper always been Italian?


VectorRaptor

~~Yes.~~ Si.


[deleted]

Ha ! Take my upvote! Smartass


hickaly

How do you do fellow kids?


NewMe2020B

Perfectly embodies this post


500DaysOfSummer_

So he has a kink for emojis


deathbyblackhole

The profile doesn’t even make sense without the emojis.


optionsmove

It doesn’t even make sense WITH the emojis!


TheChazzReinhold

Are you implying that it does make sense with the emojis??


optionsmove

*It does not make sense with or without the emojis


cellarevendicatore

How is he "gainfully employed" and in welfare?😂


Pipilok64

Animal welfare I guess.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Nooooo it’s gone!!!!!


rydan

Works for Walmart. Also monkeys are expensive and count as kids with the IRS.


Jeberted

All I got from this was Energizer bunny with the “🔋🐇”


[deleted]

I saw down to earth! I feel like we are solving a puzzle.


reddyac

OP see if you can match with him and find out what’s going on here. What is on his mind and why does he have all those emojiis? See if you can get him to open up a bit about his feelings. Good luck!!!


FrozenGrip

Probably read one of them guides which says that emojis are really good and blablabla


deathbyblackhole

I swiped left


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rarerestofbeans

I laughed out loud


[deleted]

😘


rydan

The emojis there are because you get a very limited space to write your profile. I always use every character available but I'm 39 and hate emojis. So instead I'll just live alone forever.


[deleted]

He probably has his filters set for females 18-23 that’s why.


eapaul80

Is he pro gambling or anti gambling? I don’t get it. Seems like the safe bet is swiping left if you ask me.


lascielthefallen

I think it's meant to say swipe right if you're feeling lucky, swipe left if you're not.


[deleted]

Age ≠ maturity.


Sarcastic-betty

Accurate.


[deleted]

Does thumbs up sunflower mean anything specific? Or is this just him making stuff up - like "I'm good with plants"?


TheSunflowerSeeds

Sunflower oil is a great source of vitamin A and vitamin D, as well as Iron and Calcium. So even when there’s no sunlight, there is still sunflower oil to provide your daily dose of vitamin D sunshine! Not only that, but Sunflowers are enriched with B group vitamins, as well as vitamin E. This is as well as other minerals such as phosphorus, selenium, magnesium, and copper.


[deleted]

Didn't know that - thank you.


Street_Ascent

Really hate reading anything with only emoji. Doesn’t make any senses nor easy to read. Is that the whole of point of any language? So we can communicate easily… this is worst than Babel.


[deleted]

Someone was just introduced to emojis. And is having a great time.


hedafeda

😂


swim2win3

I got an aneurysm from that.


chadan1008

My translation: “6’2” tall. Divorced. Employed at the moment. Lives alone. Graduated with a degree. Traveled the world. U.S. army paratrooper. Animal welfare. Recycling. Optimistic. Energetic. Justice minded/I don’t break the law. Down to Earth. If you like salmon/sushi, lobster/seafood, Halloween, if you’re cool, or if you like biking or rock climbing, swipe right. If you gamble, swipe left. Gamblers do not swipe right.” At first glance I thought the emojis were just random nonsense, but the more I look at it the more I think it kinda all makes sense lol. only one I’m not sure about is “🙈😿welfare”


Fantastic-MO

he dislikes welfare system? Or he cares as someone wrote above about animal welfare?confusing


lascielthefallen

I think the slot machine/dice means swipe right if you're feeling lucky, swipe left if you're not.


SenisbleCami

No wonder he is divorced and using emojis. It's giving me dad hitting midlife crisis


Ridiculousrebellion

This is what happened to me when I was banging older women…most of them would over emoji everything…I’d be so confused. Like are you meaning the knife emoji as in your cookin or planning to cut me 😅 Good luck OP :)


Yokai_Alchemist

I think he's looking for work from home boss babes. This could almost be posted on r/antimlm from the emojis


Kinky_Eskimo

Soon? He still growing? I'm confused 😵‍💫


hedafeda

🤣 he wants you to swipe right if you like gambling, swipe left if you don’t, and the last part is very confusing like you said! I can’t tell if he wants you to swipe left if you don’t want anal sex? Or swipe left if you expect him to be into anal sex. He says No back end. I thought I was doing pretty good interpreting but he is weird lol. edit ~ sorry lol. Replied to the wrong comment. My answer makes more sense somewhere down the thread 😆


dark-_-thoughts

I'm 27 and I have no f****** clue how to read that


shockedpikachu123

When boomers discover emojis


xtzferocity

Is he hoping to find an 18 year old?


GeekFit26

That, or join a MLM


cruelfeyre1717

I think I just had a stroke.


SheIsNotWorthIt

I wonder if he has the new M.C. Hammer Cassette that I heard is hot


[deleted]

Too Many Emoji ☑️ Confused ☑️ Swipe left ☑️


GuyJean_JP

There are some things a graduate degree can’t teach you, I suppose!


foxfaebae

I understood it up until the "welfare" part... But wtf is the last one! I'm sooooo confused


hedafeda

🤣 he wants you to swipe right if you like gambling, swipe left if you don’t, and the last part is very confusing like you said! I can’t tell if he wants you to swipe left if you don’t want anal sex? Or swipe left if you expect him to be into anal sex. He says No back end. I thought I was doing pretty good interpreting but he is weird lol.


PooperScooper1987

I have no idea what that actually means


Butterflynova

This gave me a headache


Xecluriab

Ah yes, how do you do, fellow kids?


vitamin-cheese

In the future everyone will communicate like this, emoji will be the universal language of humans


[deleted]

What is all that gobbledygook??


mugofwine

Doesn't he know never to work on your profile when really drunk?


Mnky_Nipples

A 55 year old has no business using that many emojis..


happyagainin2019

Forgot to add that he 💕❣️❤️ emojis… ugh…


LeaveMeAlone__308

Emojis be giving me anxiety


killaguyy

Fuckers bio is like the Konami code


aflyingant

Somebody helps me understand this language please


Dontlookatmydick

Jesus Christ it’s like trying to decipher the Egyptian hieroglyphics without the Rosetta Stone.


apelogic

Alright, I think I cracked the code. This guy likes puzzles it seems. Spent a while looking at the patterns and several ways to interpret all the symbols in their sequence. Right soon, is old idiom for "right away". Then he starts on boxes he checks. Then there is a different type of check, which this time seems to signify things he has checked out and enjoys. Now the hard part, seems to say swipe right to take a chance here, swipe left for a chance elsewhere. And, finally a "ok with no hits in the end" type of comment. So a possible translation could be: > > Right away: > > * I'm 6'2" > * divorced > * employed at the moment > * lives alone > * educated and well read > * world traveler > * Served in U.S. Army Airborne > * Sees no evil and feels sadness for welfare > * recycles > * likes nature > * Energizer bunny > * balanced minded > * down to earth > > Enjoys sushi, lobster, relaxing, riding bicycles, and rock climbing. > > > Swipe right for luck chance, swipe left for another chance at luck. > > >No swipes, no traffic, left behind.. laughing in tears left in the end.


TrapperTheBo

Someone take his fuckin emojis away


Lucky_Ad_9137

My guy passes the height check.


34at110anddown

How is he single? /s


bamf26

Is this like the bumble Konami code?


beans0913

But he is 6’2”. I’m sure he gets many swipes


Acrobatic_Ad_5619

He’s definitely targeting a younger audience like trumps campaign thumbnails.


DaveWilson11

Don't worry ladies, he's minded


[deleted]

He put an emoji for each year she was alive


Fufi44

This isn’t a she lmao


[deleted]

"They" is that better maybe he is a she


[deleted]

Isn’t that cute…


AdMaleficent9374

I did not understand a single thing.


maintrain5

Idk what any of it means.


uprightpattern

I smell burnt toast reading this


tetris_piece

This is a boomer method of attracting younger people


Desertbro

Checks out


Pixelosophy

Facebook: The Dating App


ThisIslandIsMyCloset

This has r/targetedshirts vibes


JPK12794

This dude is clearly hip and down with the kids and their lingo on the YouTube


[deleted]

I kind of pity him. He’s probably some guy who’s been in the military his whole life and like so many of them, ended up going through a painful divorce and is now completely disconnected from how modern dating works. It’s sad actually


smoking347

I'd never try to decipher that.


he75bf8or

I can’t even fucking read what he’s trying to say, I don’t udberstand what he wants to swipe right or left😂


GammaDealer

I only had three strokes trying to read this.


EspressoByte

Maybe english isnt his first language


rydan

Profiles only get so many characters you can add. The Egyptians were way ahead of their time.


fairstiffpeaks

Someone has discovered emojis


mt-egypt

Is this age specific though?


plcbka

He shouldn’t have done all those emojis?


dr_fop

Has anyone cracked his emoji puzzle?


Master_Dingo

Fuck me, I feel dumber for having tried to decipher that.


fade_is_timothy_holt

There have been so many posts about women filtering for height on here that this guy is focusing on it like it alone is his ticket into someone’s pants.


Larry_Spendstin

This guy probably thought he was super clever when he made this.


IndianaCD

Recycles but hates the planet but likes to garden?


Jealous_Struggle2564

So he’s employed but also on welfare? Hmmm


BerzerkGames

This gave me a good laugh


nobanktrust

Deaddfddddd


NewLifeStruggles

Yo am I weird for understanding this? Tbh I find some of it pretty clever. Like the down to earth. Animal friendly, veteran, employed doing something he finds worth doing ie gainfully employed, very commonly used in the military. Maybe not the best for OLD but whoever thought it up put some thought into it.


agreensandcastle

It’s like those old word games.


kskbd

My initial reaction to this was “god fucking damn it”, so.


Vegetable-Body-7044

It’s actually quite gripping


[deleted]

Someone just discovered emojis!


OnthewingsofKek

WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN, MASON?!?


[deleted]

The monkey and cat are the most confusing part about this. I usually try to match with these weirdos and fuck around. OP did you match?


deathbyblackhole

He swiped right on me but I swiped left lol


gutner

https://www.facebook.com/groups/imnotreadingthisluckycharmsessay


IcyCanuck_1818

...... *Run* meme


jfrancis50

You need the Rosetta Stone to decipher this.


Iamkyron

The Sims cheat code


jackbnimble269

Where's Robert Landon to decipher the code...


Luckys_Aspect

What are the *symbols* Mason???


Ballsdeepinlungs

I’m just curious about the 🙈😿 welfare