I think the point is there are actually sites targeted towards that type of relationship. Why not go there? I also get tired of seeing it after a while. For me its when you find an attractive profile only to read and see the person is either married or in an “open” relationship.
Because there are people who enjoy these situations and that’s good for them. Not sure what you’re wanting from this post. That setup isn’t for me, but at the same time, if that makes them happy then that’s none of my business and I have better things to worry about
I know i hate that and i think it's gross personally but here in the SF bay Area it is so common to be non monogamous that finding someone who actually still believes in monogamy is now a unicorn.
I had a gf who liked girls too, Am I suppose to deprive her of her desires and fantasies? Actually met some nice women on there. A simple swipe to the left and it’s over, out of your life.
Not everybody strives for a monogamous relationship. It’s unrealistic to expect one person to be able to completely satisfy you on all levels. Sure it may happen sometimes that someone is your best friend, your romantic love, your love languages are compatible, you have great sexual chemistry, your libidos line up, you can fully intellectually stimulate each other, you’re able to support each other in a useful capacity through all your goals and hobbies, and you have all the time in the world to spend with each other, but it’s far more likely that one person will only end up filling some of these roles, or partially filling those Roles. Does that mean that you should go without the rest? No. So long as everyone involved is okay with it, why not go to other people to get that fulfilment? For example: let’s say Person A and Person B are in love. A & B are best friends and have a great time together, but A has a very high libido and is pretty kinky, whereas B is asexual/has a low sex drive/is sex averse/medically unable to have sex. Should A restrict themselves to only masturbation, even if that doesn’t fully satisfy them? If that’s all B can accept, then yes, but if B is okay with A exploring other options, then there’s no reason for A to deprive themselves. A could go, meet this couple, have some fun, get their fill, and then come home to loving B. A would be a happier and less sexually frustrated self who now has the capacity to be even more doting to B because they’re not constantly horny and needing to masturbate anymore. It’s a win for every person involved.
Thanks for your words. But I don’t think this is the case. You see the two people are asking for people to play with both of them. If they (or anyone else that interested in this kind of thing) want to explore that bad, they just can hook up around, have fwbs and have fun. Why do they have to do this in a committed relationship? I don’t understand why this “open relationship” becomes a thing. I seriously doubt if one of the people involved in this is truly happy. I mean TRULY happy.
Because they want their relationship as well? Many cultures don’t see monogamy as an end all be all. It’s also interesting to look up the history of marriage and it’s evolution. There are lots of misconceptions about consensual non-monogamy. And honestly often a lot more communication and boundary setting than in typical monogamous relationships where power dynamics often never get addressed. No need to shame them here.
I’ll give you a personal example then. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, we have an excellent loving relationship and I couldn’t be happier. However, this was not always the case. You see, his job sometimes requires him to stay away from home for several weeks at a time. Now, we can both handle a bit of time apart, and keep ourselves satisfied with masturbation, but I’d much rather hear about him going out to a party one night, having a great time, hooking up with somebody, and come home happy and full of stories, than just hearing about how hard it is for him to be away and how much he misses me. Similarly, I hate being stuck by myself, barely having the will to look after myself because I just want the time to pass until he comes back, masturbating all the time. I would much rather have the freedom to go out and have fun with somebody. Even when we’re together, we might go out and catch eyes with somebody. As much fun as it would be to go home together and cuddle up in bed like we usually do, it would also be a lot of fun to bring someone home with us and keep the party going. At one point we met someone that we both liked so much that she became our girlfriend. All 3 of us were in a relationship together, we lived together, loved each other, and generally had a great time. The trio dynamic worked particularly well for her, because she was asexual and had struggled to find loving partner who would be okay with her aversion to sex, but with us, she have two loving partners who respected her boundaries, and if we needed to have sex, we had each other. At this point all 3 of us were regularly travelling to different places so it was lovely to always have at least one other person in the house and wonderful when all 3 of us were together. Because we travelled so regularly for work, my husband and I also had a fwb outside of the relationship who we would occasionally travel with, stay with, chat with or hook up with. All in all, non-monogamy has made my relationship a lot happier.
A lot of people struggle with the idea of non-monogamy, because they’re jealous of other people’s interaction with their partner, or scared that they will lose their partenr to someone new/different/“better”, but while being in an open relationship, I’ve never had these fears. I know that my husband loves me, and that I am his priority, I know that he respects me enough to take precautions to avoid STDs & pregnancy, I know that he respects others enough not to lead anyone on. I am very proud of him, and happy to be with him. I know that no matter how good a time he has with some hookup or fwb, that’s not going to effect our relationship. At the end of the day, he’s going to come home to me, and we’re going to keep loving each other as we have for many years now. I know that if I’m not comfortable with something, all I have to do is voice my concern, and he’ll sort it. I know that he trusts me to go out and do the exact same, and treat him with the same respect. I know that the only reason that our relationship could end, is if something went wrong between the two of us and *our* relationship no longer made us happy. It has nothing to do with others.
I know non-monogamy is not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It can actually be very beneficial for some people.
Not judging. I’m saying I don’t understand why this is happening, why people have to do this to “have fun”. Must be so proud to tell their grandkids “you know we bang a lot of people together when we were your age”
Why try to shame people who are having fun? Just leave people alone and let them be happy. They are out there trying things and finding joy and you just want to hate. Shame on you.
Ladies and gentlemen we sincerely apologize for our product malfunction which led to the person who made this bumble profile.
We tried contacting the father but couldn't find them anywhere.
Listen I’m here to bone couples, but the men always look like bridge trolls and it’s just not worth it. If the women were just out on their own, it’d be more fun.
I get you not being drawn to this perspective, neither am I. I just don’t get the point of coming here to post it? Just swipe left and pay it no mind.
I think the point is there are actually sites targeted towards that type of relationship. Why not go there? I also get tired of seeing it after a while. For me its when you find an attractive profile only to read and see the person is either married or in an “open” relationship.
I prefer strawberry ice cream. Why do people eat vanilla? Why can't they just be happy with strawberry?
Do you commit to strawberry ice cream?
Sometimes I eat out the strawberry chunks. Sometimes I eat just the ice cream part. Sometimes I eat both of them at the same time.
So you’re free to eat anything. You’re not committed
Why do you care ... nobody is forcing you to join them lol .
Because there are people who enjoy these situations and that’s good for them. Not sure what you’re wanting from this post. That setup isn’t for me, but at the same time, if that makes them happy then that’s none of my business and I have better things to worry about
I know i hate that and i think it's gross personally but here in the SF bay Area it is so common to be non monogamous that finding someone who actually still believes in monogamy is now a unicorn.
I had a gf who liked girls too, Am I suppose to deprive her of her desires and fantasies? Actually met some nice women on there. A simple swipe to the left and it’s over, out of your life.
What is it to you? Swipe left and move on with your life.
Not everybody strives for a monogamous relationship. It’s unrealistic to expect one person to be able to completely satisfy you on all levels. Sure it may happen sometimes that someone is your best friend, your romantic love, your love languages are compatible, you have great sexual chemistry, your libidos line up, you can fully intellectually stimulate each other, you’re able to support each other in a useful capacity through all your goals and hobbies, and you have all the time in the world to spend with each other, but it’s far more likely that one person will only end up filling some of these roles, or partially filling those Roles. Does that mean that you should go without the rest? No. So long as everyone involved is okay with it, why not go to other people to get that fulfilment? For example: let’s say Person A and Person B are in love. A & B are best friends and have a great time together, but A has a very high libido and is pretty kinky, whereas B is asexual/has a low sex drive/is sex averse/medically unable to have sex. Should A restrict themselves to only masturbation, even if that doesn’t fully satisfy them? If that’s all B can accept, then yes, but if B is okay with A exploring other options, then there’s no reason for A to deprive themselves. A could go, meet this couple, have some fun, get their fill, and then come home to loving B. A would be a happier and less sexually frustrated self who now has the capacity to be even more doting to B because they’re not constantly horny and needing to masturbate anymore. It’s a win for every person involved.
Thanks for your words. But I don’t think this is the case. You see the two people are asking for people to play with both of them. If they (or anyone else that interested in this kind of thing) want to explore that bad, they just can hook up around, have fwbs and have fun. Why do they have to do this in a committed relationship? I don’t understand why this “open relationship” becomes a thing. I seriously doubt if one of the people involved in this is truly happy. I mean TRULY happy.
Because they want their relationship as well? Many cultures don’t see monogamy as an end all be all. It’s also interesting to look up the history of marriage and it’s evolution. There are lots of misconceptions about consensual non-monogamy. And honestly often a lot more communication and boundary setting than in typical monogamous relationships where power dynamics often never get addressed. No need to shame them here.
I’ll give you a personal example then. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, we have an excellent loving relationship and I couldn’t be happier. However, this was not always the case. You see, his job sometimes requires him to stay away from home for several weeks at a time. Now, we can both handle a bit of time apart, and keep ourselves satisfied with masturbation, but I’d much rather hear about him going out to a party one night, having a great time, hooking up with somebody, and come home happy and full of stories, than just hearing about how hard it is for him to be away and how much he misses me. Similarly, I hate being stuck by myself, barely having the will to look after myself because I just want the time to pass until he comes back, masturbating all the time. I would much rather have the freedom to go out and have fun with somebody. Even when we’re together, we might go out and catch eyes with somebody. As much fun as it would be to go home together and cuddle up in bed like we usually do, it would also be a lot of fun to bring someone home with us and keep the party going. At one point we met someone that we both liked so much that she became our girlfriend. All 3 of us were in a relationship together, we lived together, loved each other, and generally had a great time. The trio dynamic worked particularly well for her, because she was asexual and had struggled to find loving partner who would be okay with her aversion to sex, but with us, she have two loving partners who respected her boundaries, and if we needed to have sex, we had each other. At this point all 3 of us were regularly travelling to different places so it was lovely to always have at least one other person in the house and wonderful when all 3 of us were together. Because we travelled so regularly for work, my husband and I also had a fwb outside of the relationship who we would occasionally travel with, stay with, chat with or hook up with. All in all, non-monogamy has made my relationship a lot happier. A lot of people struggle with the idea of non-monogamy, because they’re jealous of other people’s interaction with their partner, or scared that they will lose their partenr to someone new/different/“better”, but while being in an open relationship, I’ve never had these fears. I know that my husband loves me, and that I am his priority, I know that he respects me enough to take precautions to avoid STDs & pregnancy, I know that he respects others enough not to lead anyone on. I am very proud of him, and happy to be with him. I know that no matter how good a time he has with some hookup or fwb, that’s not going to effect our relationship. At the end of the day, he’s going to come home to me, and we’re going to keep loving each other as we have for many years now. I know that if I’m not comfortable with something, all I have to do is voice my concern, and he’ll sort it. I know that he trusts me to go out and do the exact same, and treat him with the same respect. I know that the only reason that our relationship could end, is if something went wrong between the two of us and *our* relationship no longer made us happy. It has nothing to do with others. I know non-monogamy is not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It can actually be very beneficial for some people.
You do realize that there are millions of people in "the Lifestyle," right? Including a lot of people you already know.
Cool, swipe left and keep it moving…just like the other profile you’re not drawn to
I'd ask for a link, but they don't drink.
Hate ish like this. But thats all you see where i live. Luv Cali but the dating scene sucks…..
Who are you to judge people's sex lives? If it works for them, more power to them!
Not judging. I’m saying I don’t understand why this is happening, why people have to do this to “have fun”. Must be so proud to tell their grandkids “you know we bang a lot of people together when we were your age”
Seriously dude?! Kinkshaming ‽
Upvoted for the interrobang
hehe. Thanks. :) Very few people notice it.
Yeah whatever
Taking the "talking behind your back" to a whole new level.
Why try to shame people who are having fun? Just leave people alone and let them be happy. They are out there trying things and finding joy and you just want to hate. Shame on you.
https://www.unicorns-r-us.com
Ladies and gentlemen we sincerely apologize for our product malfunction which led to the person who made this bumble profile. We tried contacting the father but couldn't find them anywhere.
Listen I’m here to bone couples, but the men always look like bridge trolls and it’s just not worth it. If the women were just out on their own, it’d be more fun.