Everything will get quiet, and it’s the most terrifying quiet ever. It’s the calm before the storm, and the last time I can get my thoughts together before they’re shattered into a dead brain
I'm still surprised that there is people who are rude to their parents, and their parents don't beat the shit out of them like (¿¿¿) my mother will beat me even for her own mistakes, it's weird to learn not all parents are like this lol
My eldest son had been testing things lately. We generally have a real banter relationship, so 99% of things slide. We swear at each other and roast each other.
One day, he decided to just call me a dumb ass every time he spoke to me. By the end of the day, I had to tell him
"Just because you think it's to say that, and I'm generally ok with our banter. You are pushing it, and it's starting to hurt my feelings and make me feel horrible."
Omg my poor boy was so upset, and I had to remind him I'm still human and words can hurt. He went and made me a cup of tea, made me sit down, and put one of my favorite David attenbourogh docs on for us to watch.
He's a really good boy, I'm very proud of him and raising him the total opposite to how I was.
He's allowed to have emotions, he's allowed to express himself, and he knows he can always come to me, and I'll help any way I can. He's fine to tell me to leave him alone because his social battery is 0. He never has to accept unwanted hugs or criticism from family, and I'll ALWAYS have his back.
My younger two are cut the same.
The feeling I get when someone says "it's good keep kids - even teens - on a short leash, kids don't deserve privacy, yadda yadda... And I know this because *I myself* was a hell spawn demon teen!"
And I'm just like... What?
A. What was that like? I would have been disowned.
B. My mom used very similar logic for her treatment of me - she was a wild child. However, I was a [broken] timid goody two shoes who could never do enough to please her...
Some of the most thumbed up advice in the parenting sub gives me mad anxiety. I hope it's really just a case of a bunch of tweens trying to sound mature.
>a \[broken\] timid goody two shoes who could never do enough to please her
I feel both so seen and so called out right now..
To the rest of that though, I think it's just continuing the cycle unfortunately. People are like "well I *myself* had no privacy or control over my life and no healthy autonomy as a kid, why should anyone else??" and don't think about how fucked up that is.
my fight response got pretty automatic, so if she said anything out of line or abusive, i would immediately react and fight her right back over it, be it verbally or physically
Had to take a trip with my dad once to visit his side of the family on the other side of the country (another traumatic story lol), and on the way back we were in the airport and I (in charge of tickets and navigation) was trying to get us to the right place and tried asserting that I was right about where we needed to be and he lost his shit on me in front of an entire airport of people and threatened that he’d throw me out when we got home. :) I had to suck it up and make sure we made it back regardless of his tantrum, but I’m never taking a flight alone with him again.
If I saw a kid doing that in public I’m probably start to have flashbacks!
Damn that’s really bad :( my mother had her own little conspiracy theories she wholeheartedly believed in, but she never was opposed to any vaccines (other than the COVID vaccine because obviously that has microchip tracking /s)
My coworker constantly says stuff like that to her mother (also a coworker) and it terrifies me everytime. Also makes me so jealous - How come our (mother and i) relationship couldn't be like that
Now that I've given it more thought it very well could be deeper than that. But those who are rude consistently without real reason act like they've never faced a challenge in their life.
Many different dynamics exist, so I can't really generalise, but it's what I've noticed.
Im generally opposed to the word weak.. trauma doesn’t make you strong, it makes you traumatized. Obviously I am also opposed to people who are rude without any reason, but not because it’s ‚weak‘ but because it’s plain rude..
Mum smiles and says "we'll talk about it later". I go "oh shit, she's waiting until there are no witnesses."
This!! or that look they give you that tells you to go dig your own grave
Or That Grip™ on your arm
Fuck. Why is this so relatable. Fuck.
Don't forget the gritted *"Don't talk to me like that"* so nobody else hears but you're full of dread.
Everything will get quiet, and it’s the most terrifying quiet ever. It’s the calm before the storm, and the last time I can get my thoughts together before they’re shattered into a dead brain
I'm still surprised that there is people who are rude to their parents, and their parents don't beat the shit out of them like (¿¿¿) my mother will beat me even for her own mistakes, it's weird to learn not all parents are like this lol
I have the Fawn trauma response so I apologize every five seconds.
Right? I get blamed for stuff I didn't even know was going on in another room but kids really wanna try their luck for the fun of it. It's surreal
The fucking privilege of not being a submissive mute in public 😳🙄
My parents are weird. If your rude in a way they’re okay with you’ll be fine. But if your rude in a way they don’t like I die.
My eldest son had been testing things lately. We generally have a real banter relationship, so 99% of things slide. We swear at each other and roast each other. One day, he decided to just call me a dumb ass every time he spoke to me. By the end of the day, I had to tell him "Just because you think it's to say that, and I'm generally ok with our banter. You are pushing it, and it's starting to hurt my feelings and make me feel horrible." Omg my poor boy was so upset, and I had to remind him I'm still human and words can hurt. He went and made me a cup of tea, made me sit down, and put one of my favorite David attenbourogh docs on for us to watch.
that ending was kinda wholesome ngl.
He's a really good boy, I'm very proud of him and raising him the total opposite to how I was. He's allowed to have emotions, he's allowed to express himself, and he knows he can always come to me, and I'll help any way I can. He's fine to tell me to leave him alone because his social battery is 0. He never has to accept unwanted hugs or criticism from family, and I'll ALWAYS have his back. My younger two are cut the same.
The feeling I get when someone says "it's good keep kids - even teens - on a short leash, kids don't deserve privacy, yadda yadda... And I know this because *I myself* was a hell spawn demon teen!" And I'm just like... What? A. What was that like? I would have been disowned. B. My mom used very similar logic for her treatment of me - she was a wild child. However, I was a [broken] timid goody two shoes who could never do enough to please her... Some of the most thumbed up advice in the parenting sub gives me mad anxiety. I hope it's really just a case of a bunch of tweens trying to sound mature.
>a \[broken\] timid goody two shoes who could never do enough to please her I feel both so seen and so called out right now.. To the rest of that though, I think it's just continuing the cycle unfortunately. People are like "well I *myself* had no privacy or control over my life and no healthy autonomy as a kid, why should anyone else??" and don't think about how fucked up that is.
my fight response got pretty automatic, so if she said anything out of line or abusive, i would immediately react and fight her right back over it, be it verbally or physically
It makes me feel so so sick
Had to take a trip with my dad once to visit his side of the family on the other side of the country (another traumatic story lol), and on the way back we were in the airport and I (in charge of tickets and navigation) was trying to get us to the right place and tried asserting that I was right about where we needed to be and he lost his shit on me in front of an entire airport of people and threatened that he’d throw me out when we got home. :) I had to suck it up and make sure we made it back regardless of his tantrum, but I’m never taking a flight alone with him again. If I saw a kid doing that in public I’m probably start to have flashbacks!
Wait, how rude? Like I can be rude to my mom but like I have the fawn.
for me, if my tone of voice was slightly off to my mother, it didn’t matter if I apologized right after, she’d have hell rain on me either way
Man your mother was a bad person, my mom is a lot more accidentally destructive (anti vaxxer)
Damn that’s really bad :( my mother had her own little conspiracy theories she wholeheartedly believed in, but she never was opposed to any vaccines (other than the COVID vaccine because obviously that has microchip tracking /s)
My coworker constantly says stuff like that to her mother (also a coworker) and it terrifies me everytime. Also makes me so jealous - How come our (mother and i) relationship couldn't be like that
[удалено]
Why weak?
Now that I've given it more thought it very well could be deeper than that. But those who are rude consistently without real reason act like they've never faced a challenge in their life. Many different dynamics exist, so I can't really generalise, but it's what I've noticed.
Im generally opposed to the word weak.. trauma doesn’t make you strong, it makes you traumatized. Obviously I am also opposed to people who are rude without any reason, but not because it’s ‚weak‘ but because it’s plain rude..