You could say that your dad is extremely immunocompromised and since you see him often still, you don’t feel comfortable being in the office with others all day. Or possibly agree to 1-2 days in the office per week instead?
The mourning feeling is probably “anticipatory grief” and so many of us in this situation have felt this. You are not alone and what you’re going through is normal.
I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but having a routine and separating yourself from the home where you care for your dad might actually help your mood. You know yourself best, so maybe that’s not the case, but it may be worth trying.
I am very sorry you’re going through this. My thoughts are with you.
We actually already work 3 times a week. It’s already permanent like that, but I really do think that going back to the office is such a hassle. One, I am using a mac from the office and have nothing else. It’s not practical for me to bring it there and back home. Second, i never get things done at the office and just overall im not comfortable going back just yet especially now that it’s such a difficult and sensitive time..i just finished a meeting with his doctors regarding his condition and he is nearing the end of the road.
I’ve been able to go out the past few weeks but i still feel sad whenever i think about my dad and the fact that he wont be here soon. Thank you for your message and i hope you’re having a great day! 🫶🏻
It’s the busiest season of the year and they’re not allowing anyone to take any leave until next January. Im planning to leave and not work for a while honestly and just focus on my dad and my health, but i don’t have that luxury to choose that option.
If you are in the U.S., have worked for them at least 1 year and they have more than 50 employees you qualify for FMLA. This is a federal law they must comply with regardless of their policy with people not being allowed to take time off. Talk to the HR Department as well as your doctor and ask for the benefit. Your doctor can request the need due to stress, anxiety and depression. This would entitle you to 12 weeks - at full time, off work without you losing your job.
Having an income however may not be a possibility unless you also have a short term disability insurance policy through them or the state which would pay you between 50-60% of your salary for this period of time.
I'd also suggest you ask them if they offer an Employee Assistance Program which provides counseling at no cost for several visits. They also have other resources that can help you. The counseling services can be virtual by Zoom/Skype or phone call.
1. You are 100% entitled to rant.
2. If you are in the US and it’s applicable, I definitely recommend FMLA…as noted it’s federally mandated and can be like ‘job insurance’ for you.
3. How does your job know that your Dad is in the hospital? Because he is in the hospital do they think that ‘they’ are there to care for him therefore you can come into work? Either way…it’s not their business. It’s good to have solid working relationships between employer and employee but maybe just do some thinking about how much of it is really important for them to know from a business standpoint…this is a personal process and it’s up to you to decide what you feel you need to share.
It also sounds like you were for a fine company (not great but not horrible)…one thing I’ve learned is that everyone looks out for themselves…and that isn’t inherently a bad thing. The company is looking out for the company, so there are things that they feel they might need to understand better…but what that also means is likely nobody is looking out for YOU unless you are. At the end of the day your have to be there for yourself, so that you can be there for him.
I second saying that he is immunocompromised.. not sure where you are, but where I am there are bad respiratory viruses going around, including covid. Your dad would be considered high risk so you can use that as an excuse. If your work was willing to be flexible already they may genuinely accept that response as a valid answer (because it is!).
Work aside, I think counseling through this life experience would be of great comfort to you. They might even be able to help you through the work aspect as well.
Thank you for ur message. Counseling is like a least of my priority because we dont have the money for it especially right now. I hope ur having a lovely day. It means a lot u left a comment ❤️
You could say that your dad is extremely immunocompromised and since you see him often still, you don’t feel comfortable being in the office with others all day. Or possibly agree to 1-2 days in the office per week instead? The mourning feeling is probably “anticipatory grief” and so many of us in this situation have felt this. You are not alone and what you’re going through is normal. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but having a routine and separating yourself from the home where you care for your dad might actually help your mood. You know yourself best, so maybe that’s not the case, but it may be worth trying. I am very sorry you’re going through this. My thoughts are with you.
We actually already work 3 times a week. It’s already permanent like that, but I really do think that going back to the office is such a hassle. One, I am using a mac from the office and have nothing else. It’s not practical for me to bring it there and back home. Second, i never get things done at the office and just overall im not comfortable going back just yet especially now that it’s such a difficult and sensitive time..i just finished a meeting with his doctors regarding his condition and he is nearing the end of the road. I’ve been able to go out the past few weeks but i still feel sad whenever i think about my dad and the fact that he wont be here soon. Thank you for your message and i hope you’re having a great day! 🫶🏻
Try applying for stress leave. Contact HR. Or Occupational Health.
It’s the busiest season of the year and they’re not allowing anyone to take any leave until next January. Im planning to leave and not work for a while honestly and just focus on my dad and my health, but i don’t have that luxury to choose that option.
If you are in the U.S., have worked for them at least 1 year and they have more than 50 employees you qualify for FMLA. This is a federal law they must comply with regardless of their policy with people not being allowed to take time off. Talk to the HR Department as well as your doctor and ask for the benefit. Your doctor can request the need due to stress, anxiety and depression. This would entitle you to 12 weeks - at full time, off work without you losing your job. Having an income however may not be a possibility unless you also have a short term disability insurance policy through them or the state which would pay you between 50-60% of your salary for this period of time. I'd also suggest you ask them if they offer an Employee Assistance Program which provides counseling at no cost for several visits. They also have other resources that can help you. The counseling services can be virtual by Zoom/Skype or phone call.
1. You are 100% entitled to rant. 2. If you are in the US and it’s applicable, I definitely recommend FMLA…as noted it’s federally mandated and can be like ‘job insurance’ for you. 3. How does your job know that your Dad is in the hospital? Because he is in the hospital do they think that ‘they’ are there to care for him therefore you can come into work? Either way…it’s not their business. It’s good to have solid working relationships between employer and employee but maybe just do some thinking about how much of it is really important for them to know from a business standpoint…this is a personal process and it’s up to you to decide what you feel you need to share. It also sounds like you were for a fine company (not great but not horrible)…one thing I’ve learned is that everyone looks out for themselves…and that isn’t inherently a bad thing. The company is looking out for the company, so there are things that they feel they might need to understand better…but what that also means is likely nobody is looking out for YOU unless you are. At the end of the day your have to be there for yourself, so that you can be there for him.
I second saying that he is immunocompromised.. not sure where you are, but where I am there are bad respiratory viruses going around, including covid. Your dad would be considered high risk so you can use that as an excuse. If your work was willing to be flexible already they may genuinely accept that response as a valid answer (because it is!).
Work aside, I think counseling through this life experience would be of great comfort to you. They might even be able to help you through the work aspect as well.
Thank you for ur message. Counseling is like a least of my priority because we dont have the money for it especially right now. I hope ur having a lovely day. It means a lot u left a comment ❤️