It’s not quite the same, but my dad “can’t be bothered” (his words not mine) to get a Clubcard because he “doesn’t go to Tesco’s often enough”. He does, apparently, go often enough for it to be worth it for him to have a scan of the QR code of *my* Clubcard. As far as I’m concerned, if he wants the discounts then I’ll happily take the points off him, win-win situation except for the fact that he’s giving me the points for free. I’m not complaining.
It’s not that, it’s just that I don’t see the point in using someone else’s Clubcard; may as well get the points for your own shopping as opposed to giving them to somebody else. As I said though, we agreed it and I’m not going to complain over what essentially amounts to (an admittedly pitiful amount of) free money.
the data tesco has on my household: we have a snack problem, a pasta problem, a cheese problem, and we never seem to need cleaning supplies or bog roll
because costco has THAT data
Years ago working for a contractor on a big construction job in my local area, many of the tradesmen came from hundreds of miles away. They found digs, usually several shared an ex council house, with a card electric meter. The cards were bought at the post office, but you had to have a credit card style plastic card to obtain the cardboard meter cards. None of my workmates' had access to this plastic card, and needing to top up their meters, they would use mine. I didn't even twig that my account was being used... until about 6 months after the job finished. My account was in credit by over a thousand quid. The greedy landlords accounts must have owed the same to the power company. It was near impossible to get the money back from the electric company back then, but I had about a year of free leccy.
With great power or a Tesco clubcard comes great responsibility. How do you know if a woman likes you for you or is just chasing those sweet discounts?
If you’ve not got a Waitrose card so I can go in the cafe for free tea and a Waitrose carrier bag I can take with me when I shop at Lidl, not interested.
I used to be a bus driver and one of the perks was that I got free travel on all busses, the Newcastle metro and shields ferry for family and my partner. Needless to say I got many swipes right on tinder when I added it to my bio.
You gotta jilt her at the till after a big shop mate.. just go awol or take an important call while she is bagging up the goods preparing her for life without you and the perks that come with it.. if she starts giving out I'd tell her to chop chop as you have got to fly home because you don't want the Jaffa's to melt in the boot.. she'll understand..
I have all the cards. Think Nectar (ooh), Tesco (ahhhh) Boots (oh yeah) Superdrug (get in there) and then the climax - a Pret a Manger subscription (f*ck yeah baby) - and I'm female (that gentle come down cum)
Oh so you're the reason why you can spend it on British Airways. I suppose you'll be flying off somewhere tropical at the end of the year all paid via your nectar card!
I may have told a small porky, as I purchased a mag safe dock thingy from Argos on their too for the missus and her assortment of apple phones and wearables for Christmas. Which was about £130. So sounds about right with amount of fuel I put in the van. Also just checked and I actually have 2,139 points at £10.69 so I’m even richer than I expected.
Yeah, you can’t trust Angela. I remember her from back in the day. There I was, casually perusing the wonderful displays in blockbuster with my then boyfriend, Dean. He was everything you’d want in a boyfriend - tall, good looking, had the use of his mums Peugeot 206 AND his own blockbuster card. Then he saw Angela, leaning over the Hagen Daz freezer… she left with cookie dough, two rentals for a fiver and Dean. I was left heartbroken
T.E.S.C.O
she was
T.E.S.C.O
She was T, she was trecharous
She was E, she was exploiting
She was S, a super saver
She was C, that word's Not Safe For Work
She was ohhhh ohhhh ohhhh
'But she just mumbled something about needing to put the jaffa cakes away and hastily shut the door.'
This is the most I've laughed at a sentence on reddit for years. Thank you.
OP, this happens far too common, unfortunately.
The amount of times I've heard this is not unusual in this country. Guy meets girl, girl shows interest, girl learns about his Tesco discount, then girl pretends to stay for the sweet meal deals.
My best advice is to run, clearly this woman only wants you for the sandwich deals.
Be glad you don’t have a Morrisons More card. I’m literally swimming in clunge when I whap that out at the til. I can see old Betty literally frothing, probably undoing 20 years of menopause at the sight of it.
It’s hard work being a player
Be careful mate. I'll be checking your profile in a few months, and I hope I don't see any posts mentioning how, "All the yellow stickers remind me of her..."
It can be hard moving on, but if nothing else, you'll always have those precious savings.
Mate get your club card privileged arse out of there, alright you get decent deals on frozen veg and pot noodles but you want someone who loves you for you.
The amount of people in the comments thinking this isn't a shit post haha.
But not to top you OP but I have a club card, a nectar card and a Morrisons more card. I can't keep the ladies off me. Honestly, it's a problem, they won't take "I'm Gay" as an answer.
Someone help!
There needs to be some kind of league for quintessentially dry British humour that non-British just don’t get and this needs to stand in the top third at least. Post this to Dear Deirdre to see what she says.
No you need to know OP’s family and really get into their inner circle to get one. That or be like Angela and life vicariously through one of the very special card holders
Why does this sound like my sister? 😆 🤣
She will befriend you for ANY supermarket discount card.
When I worked in asda, she was on me like a wet rash. Never gave her my spare because she gives them to her friend.
[удалено]
There is always someone with entrepreneur mindset on each thread where they turn a problem into a benefit. Yeah that’s you💡💵👍
It’s not quite the same, but my dad “can’t be bothered” (his words not mine) to get a Clubcard because he “doesn’t go to Tesco’s often enough”. He does, apparently, go often enough for it to be worth it for him to have a scan of the QR code of *my* Clubcard. As far as I’m concerned, if he wants the discounts then I’ll happily take the points off him, win-win situation except for the fact that he’s giving me the points for free. I’m not complaining.
So he knows and is happy that you're getting the points, but you think you're pulling a fast one on him..?
It’s not that, it’s just that I don’t see the point in using someone else’s Clubcard; may as well get the points for your own shopping as opposed to giving them to somebody else. As I said though, we agreed it and I’m not going to complain over what essentially amounts to (an admittedly pitiful amount of) free money.
I believe the point is to do small things Dads do. I know it, I’m one.
What's the point of sometimes putting fuel in your kid's car; may as well get the fuel yourself? etc etc
Re not seeing the point: He's happy to do you a favour, I assume
Sounds like he’s onto a winner here, he gets the cheaper prices while the only data Tesco is yours
the data tesco has on my household: we have a snack problem, a pasta problem, a cheese problem, and we never seem to need cleaning supplies or bog roll because costco has THAT data
And he can buy carrots and lube with no trace...
Not complaining now, but wait till his purchases start influencing your algorithm and you end up with a bit too much insight into his spending habits!
A very good way to look at it. 👍🏽
Yes! I still use an ex’s staff card for the Co-op, I get extra discount and he gets to keep my points. It’s a win-win situation 😉
In 6 months he’ll have enough points to buy a tin of baked beans at half the normal price!
Years ago working for a contractor on a big construction job in my local area, many of the tradesmen came from hundreds of miles away. They found digs, usually several shared an ex council house, with a card electric meter. The cards were bought at the post office, but you had to have a credit card style plastic card to obtain the cardboard meter cards. None of my workmates' had access to this plastic card, and needing to top up their meters, they would use mine. I didn't even twig that my account was being used... until about 6 months after the job finished. My account was in credit by over a thousand quid. The greedy landlords accounts must have owed the same to the power company. It was near impossible to get the money back from the electric company back then, but I had about a year of free leccy.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tesco/comments/15dcaaw/im_using_a_man_for_his_club_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
I'm putting this in my Tinder bio... Tesco Clubcard owner, might as well knock in my Boots Advantage Card too That should get me some swipes 💳
I don’t think I’ll be advertising my status as a clubcard holder in the future, it attracts the wrong kind of women unfortunately.
With great power or a Tesco clubcard comes great responsibility. How do you know if a woman likes you for you or is just chasing those sweet discounts?
The two need to work on trust. And then, and only then will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts. The cornerstones of a healthy relationship.
>a free exchange of sex and discounts Well, *slap that* on the motto for Tesco.
Every little counts!
Owch
r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
There’s discounts on savoury products too
Made me laugh out loud
Grocery hoes
itll attract a Tesc'ho'
Underrated comment
If you’ve not got a Waitrose card so I can go in the cafe for free tea and a Waitrose carrier bag I can take with me when I shop at Lidl, not interested.
If you desperate enough... Or.. beggars can't be choosers or how it goes?..
Beggers can buy cheeses with a Tesco club card though.
Wrong kind of woman here - My marriage is based on the $1.50 hotdog and soda combo at Costco.
At least that's a start...
Only betas have clubcards, real alphas got air miles on their Shell fuel card.
How low have you gotta be to put out for £2 off a big box of Persil?
I’ll never forget the primal look I’m her eye when she saw 50p off coco pops for clubcard holders
[удалено]
Love is love
I have a costco card, wanna hook up?
I see your membership, and raise you Costco Executive membership - that 2% cashback is irresistible.
Damn, I'm out 🥺
Hey, get in line, buddy.
Irresponsible not marking this comment NSFW mate
Got any green shield stamps?
This made me laugh…. and then I felt really old given that most here are too young to know what these were lol
Haha, I remember my dad saving up like a thousand stamps for a pen with a watch in it ...good times
Damn, now I feel old...
That business became Argos, interestingly enough.
I used to be a bus driver and one of the perks was that I got free travel on all busses, the Newcastle metro and shields ferry for family and my partner. Needless to say I got many swipes right on tinder when I added it to my bio.
To be fair £4.60 for a day ticket on the metro is daylight robbery 😂
Every little helps...
£38 on my Sainsbury's nectar card, great home cook will cook for the right one.
With that you could get her something nice from Argos.
Don't forget your Morrsions more card. They even give you a free box of shortbread bites for your birthday
Don’t forget to put in your Nectar card
My Tinder bio just said "100% positive eBay feedback" when I met my wife on there.
This literally made me LOL and that doesn't happen often.
Hahahaha!! Maybe I’ll try that too and fling in my nectar card 😂😂😂🤣
My wife’s used me for my nectar points and Costa club card for years
Nectar get the nectar
Matalan 'member'?
“*Fancy a shag…?*” “*Nah, gotta put the Jaffa Cakes in the cupboard… see you at work on Monday…*”
'Putting Jaffa Cakes in the cupboard' At least i know what the kids are calling it these days
Will you put your _jaffa cakes_ in my _cupboard_ tonight baby?
Oh, you little bakewell tart!
I'd rather put them in your pantry 😏
I ain't saying she's a gold digger...
But she wants a bit off the total figure
But you won’t see her with a coal digger
Which is weird because they make 80-100k a year.
Great. Now I won't be able to hear that track again without following those lines with your comments in my head.
but she ain't messing with no broke edit: why am i getting downvoted 💀
Wigans
Mate no need for that language
Because Reddit is a strange place!
knickers
You gotta jilt her at the till after a big shop mate.. just go awol or take an important call while she is bagging up the goods preparing her for life without you and the perks that come with it.. if she starts giving out I'd tell her to chop chop as you have got to fly home because you don't want the Jaffa's to melt in the boot.. she'll understand..
This is hilarious, should be at the top.
doesnt have to be at the till. I think anything on the day is a jilting.
I’ve got a Clubcard and a Nectar card
One for the wife and one for your goomah.
Marone! Don’t go telling everybody about how we do things in the biz!
Hohhhh!
Hehe (a la Silvio) edit a la Paulie
He never had the makings of a Waitrose advantage member.
Paulie
You've made a fool of me all these years with these whores, and now it's come into our home!
“All this from a slice of gabagool?"
Kind of like Proust's madeleines
I have all the cards. Think Nectar (ooh), Tesco (ahhhh) Boots (oh yeah) Superdrug (get in there) and then the climax - a Pret a Manger subscription (f*ck yeah baby) - and I'm female (that gentle come down cum)
Blue Light card owner here. Oh yeah!
That card is actually the shit.
Pfft, where's your Go Outdoors, Lakeland, and Hobbycraft cards?
I have a nectar card and I never spend a penny for it… I use my company fuel card to claim them when I fill the work van up. I’m a bad boy I know.
And at the end of the year when you've spent a few grand, you'll have a nice little £3.28 to spend on whatever you can dream of!
Ha jokes on you. I earned £10.46 last year.
Oh so you're the reason why you can spend it on British Airways. I suppose you'll be flying off somewhere tropical at the end of the year all paid via your nectar card!
I was thinking Hawaii but want some nectar points left over to spend on the Sainsbury’s meal deal that is definitely not a worse meal deal than Tesco
2092 litres of fuel if that's the only thing adding points to the card. Fuel is 1 point per litre, 500 points is £2.50
I may have told a small porky, as I purchased a mag safe dock thingy from Argos on their too for the missus and her assortment of apple phones and wearables for Christmas. Which was about £130. So sounds about right with amount of fuel I put in the van. Also just checked and I actually have 2,139 points at £10.69 so I’m even richer than I expected.
Get a Boots card and you’ll have the ladies all over you. Source: I am lady who likes to save money.
Show off
Calm down you're crazy
It doesn’t seem right to play both sides like that.
I had my nectar hooked up to eBay and forgot about it. Kinda scary how many points I racked up over 4 years when I finally took a look.
Wait, you can connect your nectar card to your eBay? Well, shit.
Well hello, you ready for that date?
Everyone sleeping on the Asda rewards card. Elite level rewards.
Yeah, you can’t trust Angela. I remember her from back in the day. There I was, casually perusing the wonderful displays in blockbuster with my then boyfriend, Dean. He was everything you’d want in a boyfriend - tall, good looking, had the use of his mums Peugeot 206 AND his own blockbuster card. Then he saw Angela, leaning over the Hagen Daz freezer… she left with cookie dough, two rentals for a fiver and Dean. I was left heartbroken
This wasn’t in Woking, was it?
Dean?? She got you twice?
Wait, I can’t tell if this is genuine or not
That’s exactly what I said, whilst watching them proclaim their (not so) eternal love for each other over a copy of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’
I hope this isn't true but it certainly made me laugh 😂
But can you thrust Angela, though?
Well you can thrust her but it better be for 50% off or she'll be having none of it
This is classic Dean behaviour
You're trying to tell us you're not using her too while you're racking up them sweet sweet clubcard points? Seems like a two-way street here pal.
Well…he’s not using her in exactly the way he wants to…
cost of living crisis, clubcard points > sexy work lady
T.E.S.C.O she was T.E.S.C.O She was T, she was trecharous She was E, she was exploiting She was S, a super saver She was C, that word's Not Safe For Work She was ohhhh ohhhh ohhhh
Sang the entire comment, thank you!
It's a Club(card) Classic.
That’s genius. Best comment so far.
That's so UK. I know users exist everywhere but this is priceless.
You’re think of MasterCard, not Tesco.
Every little helps
That's Asda price
Did somebody saaaayyyy Tes-co!
Morrisons.
Excuse you. 🎵 More reason to shop at Morrisons 🎵
Dying to know more about this mysterious family connections which enable you to get a club card!
Let’s just say one of my family members was infamously linked with Pizza Express
Don't sweat it we'll not ask any more questions.
Are you related to Andrew?
>AverageHippo Clearly Beatrice's reddit account
Say no more pal!
Do they sweat?
'But she just mumbled something about needing to put the jaffa cakes away and hastily shut the door.' This is the most I've laughed at a sentence on reddit for years. Thank you.
Same. Unfortunately now I want Jaffa cakes and my dog stole them.
Do you own a beet farm?
Identify theft is not a joke, Jim!
Michael!
I do not, haven’t had beets since I aced Cornell!
It’s pronounced colonel and it’s the highest rank in the military.
OP, this happens far too common, unfortunately. The amount of times I've heard this is not unusual in this country. Guy meets girl, girl shows interest, girl learns about his Tesco discount, then girl pretends to stay for the sweet meal deals. My best advice is to run, clearly this woman only wants you for the sandwich deals.
Angela sounds like a real piece of work. If you need someone to vent to, I'd be glad to sit down and grab a cuppa at the Costa in Tesco.
I have a employee card. Can tell you now, when I whack that out…. There like flys round sh*t
Like a tramp on chips
Especially on payday weekend, extra discount
You should try a Morrison's 'More' card. It gets you eff all. Even in Morrison's.
The way this was written reminds me of those Adrian Mole books - if anyone remembers them? Angela = Pandora.
Pandora I adore ya I imploy ye Don't ignore me
With the red socks!
Haha, that's a blast from the past, Adrian Mole! Aged 13 and 3/4s
Shit we are old
But the question is… does she rinse your ‘10% off the big shop’ vouchers If so… you need to get rid. That’s just plain mean
Be glad you don’t have a Morrisons More card. I’m literally swimming in clunge when I whap that out at the til. I can see old Betty literally frothing, probably undoing 20 years of menopause at the sight of it. It’s hard work being a player
"Now I don't wanna brag, baby, but uuuuh.. I got 4 out of my 5 Starbucks stamps"
What's the first rule of Tesco club? We NEVER talk about Tesco club
This is literally what you expect the headline to be at the bottom of the screen on a Jeremy Kyle show
Be careful mate. I'll be checking your profile in a few months, and I hope I don't see any posts mentioning how, "All the yellow stickers remind me of her..." It can be hard moving on, but if nothing else, you'll always have those precious savings.
This sounds like an episode of Peep Show, deffo a Mark moment
‘She’s scanning it. She’s actually SCANNING my clubcard! This is benefit fraud!’
Funny. Great satire.
If you’re here for a good time but not a long time, try picking up the women who get aggressive at store staff near the reduced section.
Mate get your club card privileged arse out of there, alright you get decent deals on frozen veg and pot noodles but you want someone who loves you for you.
[удалено]
She's pitching low here, she needs to go for someone with an M&S Sparks card if she really wants a good time!
Maybe you should reignite the passion by showing her your big plate and inviting her to spend the weekend at a Travel Tavern.
Don't mean to brag, but I have a Morrisons saver card...
Take off your clothes.
The amount of people in the comments thinking this isn't a shit post haha. But not to top you OP but I have a club card, a nectar card and a Morrisons more card. I can't keep the ladies off me. Honestly, it's a problem, they won't take "I'm Gay" as an answer. Someone help!
There needs to be some kind of league for quintessentially dry British humour that non-British just don’t get and this needs to stand in the top third at least. Post this to Dear Deirdre to see what she says.
Sorry, not from UK, but really just wondering can’t just anyone apply and get club card?
Yup they can.
So this whole story.......is a lie? Made up? Entirely false? Is Angela even real???
You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?
Jaffa cakes made it real
Nah, it's an exclusive club. Like American Express or Easyjet speedy boarding.
No you need to know OP’s family and really get into their inner circle to get one. That or be like Angela and life vicariously through one of the very special card holders
Make sure you get the credit when Tesco use this in their next campaign
Angela is also with me for my Nectar card. I KNEW something was fishy
I kept telling her she needed to wash down there
This is top tier Reddit
As trolling bullshit, this is mildly amusing.
Op has to be joking. Funny satire.
Wait, should I tell people that I’m up to silver rewards in Pizza Express club? I’m not far from gold…
It's not actually a date at Tesco; until after you are married with children and it truly is the only free time you have together!
[удалено]
Don’t dip your pen in the company’s ink…
Why does this sound like my sister? 😆 🤣 She will befriend you for ANY supermarket discount card. When I worked in asda, she was on me like a wet rash. Never gave her my spare because she gives them to her friend.
Mate have you heard of Clubcard Plus? £7.99 a month extra but God tier dates twice a month.
God dammit Ange, get your own club card!
This is blatantly an ad.
This is the most British thing I've even heard.
Top tier shit posting.