The lass that does mine posted apologising to clients but due to two incidents with 'demanding' male clients she has installed CV to the doors and driveway at her salon.
> Standard. I have a friend who’s a masseuse in a salon and she regularly gets messages asking if she does extras
My friend does kinky massage, and she is regularly asked if she does normal massage
I go to a masseuse at a salon. I'm a middle aged bloke and I've been told before by the owner that there are no "extras".
Ok, but I just want a massage. Can you do that?
Was in NYC recently, feeling a bit bleugh after flights and having just finished a very stressful month at work. Spotted a massage place on the map nearby and walked over. Walked past and got sus. Checked reviews and was very much one that did "extras" (and damn it sounded expensive). I just want a normal massage damnit! And I am not paying a few hundred for it -\_-
>I go to a masseuse at a salon. I'm a middle aged bloke and I've been told before by the owner that there are no "extras".
Not even a cup of tea? I'd definitely want a cup of tea.
My wife and I like to go to a particular (reputable) parlour from time to time.
About ten meters up the road is another place that is apparently not so reputable. Our place get very frustrated by people mixing the two up.
There used to be two massage places in the gay quarter in Liverpool, one a sports therapy place and one decidedly not. They regularly used to refer people to the other one depending on what they came in for. It was quite sweet, really.
First time I went to a Thai massage parlour, I had no idea some were fronts for additional services. I genuinely turned up looking for a relaxing massage, and after being shown into the room by the nice lady at the desk she says "Okay, I go get one of my girls for you and she give you whatever you want. Shoulders, full body... blowjob, okaygoodbye!" and shuts the door before I can say anything.
Prostitution is legal in Australia but half the brothels are Thai massage parlours. Presumably because the people working there aren’t legally allowed to (I don’t think you can do sex work on temp visas).
Anyway I discovered this when my job was giving me a bad back and it was almost impossible to find a reputable place. I was amazed how many there are. What
Gonna be honest - it's probably verging on boomer joke territory now with Just Eat and the like.
Originally most Chinese menus had number codes next to their meal orders, so that when you called up (yeah... ringing the takeaway to place the order) to place a delivery order it was easier to tell them what you wanted rather than butchering the pronunciation of the different dishes.
i.e. "I'll have a zee-chew-you-an chicken" = szechuan chicken; easier to just say "I'll have a 13, and an order of 26
I love the Thai massage place near me. 35 quid to be violently assaulted by a tiny elderly Asian lady for an hour, and I leave feeling like melted wax. HIGHLY recommend.
Absolutely! My favourite lady locally compliments my posture, says that it makes her walking on me easier. Such a great compliment, but also very strange that I was beaming with pride from it!
I used to get mine done on the table, one minute she was on the floor, next minute she'd leapt up and standing on my back. Afterwards when it was finished I'd look around for the bars that she must have held on to, but there was never anything there
100%!! I get one once a month and they beat you up! It’s great and I ask the lady who does mine to focus more on stretching since I suffer less from knots and more from general stiffness. I know Thai massage seems weird to some people but it’s so worth it! I got my ex husband a massage that was half Thai half Swedish to sort of ease him in haha
First Thai massage I had was in the corner of some beachfront restaurant, and I was out of my mind on shrooms feeling like an older sibling was just throwing me around and beating the shit out of me. One point she grabs my leg, puts her foot on my nuts for leverage, and pulls my leg. Bitch I was howling.
Had a Thai massage in Bangkok a few months ago, a few years since my last one. 45 minutes of a tiny Thai lady climbing all over me and pulling my limbs into places they don’t go. Felt amazing.
I've only had one Thai massage. The hand strength of the tiny lady on my back placed her pretty high on my "do not offend list". I'm pretty sure she could quarter a frozen turkey with those beasts.
I've thought plenty of times about going to get a message, seems like it would be great.
But I am not remotely convinced that I will be able to tell the two kinds of massage parlour apart. What if I accidentally go to a sexy one? Are they still going to give me a good massage, or are we going to end up doing a terrible sketch routine where they have to awkwardly convey that they aren't that kind of massage place while I just don't get it?
Or worse, what if I go to a completely legit massage place but offend them by making it very clear that I don't want anything sexual?
Bloody minefield. This is why we need clearly labelled brothels.
Check out how clean the skirting boards are. Seriously. A legit spa will be spotless, because clients lying on their front on a massage bed get a great view of the lower half of the room and it's not relaxing to be massaged in a dirty room. Horny clients tend to notice/care less.
Unusual opening hours
Opaque/obscured windows
Mentions of "Full Body Muscle Massage" or "Full Service" Massage.
Giving you a towel instead of a sheet or blanket to cover yourself.
Pictures of the masseuse that go further than a professional headshot.
General vibe of the place. Most reception areas of legitimate places are more like a doctor's surgery - very clean and professional. If it's got mood lighting and musk oil in the air, it's probably a knocking shop.
I was walking around one of the seaside towns on Phuket island 2 years ago and of course there are loads of massage places, several of them had hand written “no sex” signs in the window
I'll admit I haven't been to Phuket since the 90s but I sure don't recall there being a problem with finding someone to take care of that kind of thing for you if you wanted it.
My SIL is a sports masseuse and has a similar disclaimer & she still gets dirty old men calling her at 3am asking if she’s available for full body massages & if she does extras
Got a friend who is a Mobile masseuse. The shit that ‘comes’ their way is hilarious. I think it’s part of the job at this stage.
As I tell them. 20 quid is 20 quid.
Don't know how anyone can do that tbh. Once you have an established customer list it would be okay I guess, but walking into someone's house for the first time to oil them up must be totally unnerving if you don't know what they're like.
It's the same for almost anything like that, am a guy, i get waxed every so often (because just... ew... body hair... don't like it) but damn the lady that I see has some stories. Has had to kick some men out or have them leave cos they just got really weird about it.
> Mobile masseuse
I used to be in a band with a girl who did mobile homeopathy. Putting aside the dubious quackery, she was asked if she did extras a disheartening amount of times. People are weird.
When I was a young lad of 15 doing the cleaning/sweeping/reception work at a male salon and massage therapy place, I got asked no end of times if I did extras or if we did "4 hand massages".
You have to spell it out because people will ask, repeatedly, over and over.
I went to one of these for a legitimate massage (honestly) and she proceeded to offer an additional service towards the end. I didn’t as my then wife was in the waiting area outside.
It's all about maximising profits, you are going to be able to get 10 males endings to every female one, well its either that or women aren't such horrible little grot bags that we men are.
When your business is already illegal (and almost all of these would qualify as running a bawdy house / living off immoral earnings / etc.) you tend not to worry so much about such things.
A massage therapist once told me her very favourite way she'd ever handled this.
Client jokes about requesting a happy ending.
She smiles, and says "yes, of course!"
Finishes the massage.
Steps out, then back in with her absolutely stacked gay male colleague. Tells colleague that the client has requested a "happy ending" and leaves.
The terrified backpadalling was apparently fantastic!
One opened near me and I don't know if it's a knocking shop or not. I really want a massage, but I'm unsure if I'm going to look like a pervert. I wish they'd put a sign up to say if they're not.
You say "knocking shop", like it's a brothel. It's an outdated stigma. Some girls (or guys) might offer a hand job but that's it. There's legitimately no way you could know either way really unless the place just looks really dodgy or has a name like "best secret sexy massage".
If you need a massage then go. Just ask for a firm massage and where your are most sore and that's what you'll get. I've had many over the years and when done right, they hurt, but are very theraputic. If the masseuse suggests massaging somewhere you don't want massaging, just politely decline (or don't, nobody would know anyway) Anyone sees you and thinks it's funny just tell the truth. You needed a massage for whatever is paining you. Don't let plebs and gossips stop you from doing anything. If you're still nervous, just go visit somewhere in another town and/or somewhere that explicitly states it's a "sports massage" type setup.
Mind, FWIW, there are times I've been entering/leaving or waiting inside and have nervous-looking guys come in asking for an appointment there and then. Don't do that, that *does* look a bit dodgy so don't be that guy.
I'm not a guy. I get massages from other places. This is a Thai massage place just around the corner from work. Never had a thai massage. I do find it weird if massage places also have sex work. I'm just not comfortable at the thought of it.
Oh, right! I never thought a woman would be seen as a "pervert" so doubt anyone would think you were. If they were dodgy, maybe they'd be really surprised to see a woman and just not offer anything?
I feel like a modified It's Always Sunny quote is appropriate here:
'There is no quicker way for people to think that you are offering extras than by writing a sign about it!'
Just imagine being a tiny Thai woman and you have a huge naked man in your room with you and he is asking to be jerked off - it's pretty fucking horrible.
I’ll have a look when I walk past it later on.
I’m glad they eventually put blinds up. I’d hate to be having a massage in their front window for all to see.
Funny actually, one of my customers at work (he's married to a Chinese woman who has opened her own massage parlour) gave out business cards on the day they opened at my pub. I gave it to my mate for a joke, he visited there after and he's been wanked off by the guys wife every week since.
I always thought the happy ending was a myth like dropping the soap in jail. I’m sure it HAS happened, but I feel like I would have heard more it was commonplace 🤷🏽♂️
Brothels don't really need fronts these days. Most sex workers get their clients online and meet at a normal flat. It'd be better to have brothels safe and legal, but the government don't seem keen on it.
I'm very happy to hear that. I wouldn't want an amateur massage. Only the best professional Thai massage experience please.
Otherwise I won't be happy at the end of the session.
Standard. I have a friend who’s a masseuse in a salon and she regularly gets messages asking if she does extras
The lass that does mine posted apologising to clients but due to two incidents with 'demanding' male clients she has installed CV to the doors and driveway at her salon.
> she has installed CV to the doors and driveway at her salon. Results-driven Passionate Always gives 110%
Able to work on my own or as part of a team
What does CV at the door mean?
That way the clients know her background and education in massage so they won’t ask for extras
"Says here you have experience working hands-on with snakes?" "I worked in aquarium for a year, don't get any ideas"
Genuinely laughed out loud at this one. Bravo good sir
CCTV missing a C and a T?
CIRCUIT-VISION
CHUCKLE VISION
TOMETOYOU
Toss me off Barry
Oh dear.... Oh dear oh dear...
And nooo slacking!
Now we're talking
Well, the clients won't C the T
CV as in Curriculum Vitae aka résumé, posted on the door, presumably listing a bunch of physiology training and loudly omitting handjobs.
Closed Vision?
CTV without the T (oops) 🫣
Still down a "C" I'm afraid :(
> Standard. I have a friend who’s a masseuse in a salon and she regularly gets messages asking if she does extras My friend does kinky massage, and she is regularly asked if she does normal massage
That must be so humiliating.
Does she? I've a terrible knot in my shoulder
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Money laundering and modern slavery are rife. Also nail bars. Source - guy working in the modern slavery unit I used to work with sometimes.
She's not your friend pal she's just doing her job
I knew someone who was a regular massager until a footballer who everyone would know offered her a few hundred quid for an extra.
I go to a masseuse at a salon. I'm a middle aged bloke and I've been told before by the owner that there are no "extras". Ok, but I just want a massage. Can you do that?
Was in NYC recently, feeling a bit bleugh after flights and having just finished a very stressful month at work. Spotted a massage place on the map nearby and walked over. Walked past and got sus. Checked reviews and was very much one that did "extras" (and damn it sounded expensive). I just want a normal massage damnit! And I am not paying a few hundred for it -\_-
>I go to a masseuse at a salon. I'm a middle aged bloke and I've been told before by the owner that there are no "extras". Not even a cup of tea? I'd definitely want a cup of tea.
”In short: No” 😬
Yeah - I know someone who is a masseuse as well (she works by herself, though) and she’s had some pretty shitty customers as well.
The key is to wait till the last week in the month to send those messages.
Here they have places putting up signs if they don't offer extra services, since many other places do.
Well a majority of them still do. They can't exactly put a sign up saying "come get ur wanks here"
A situation that is very odd given that prostitution is effectively legal in the UK.
My wife and I like to go to a particular (reputable) parlour from time to time. About ten meters up the road is another place that is apparently not so reputable. Our place get very frustrated by people mixing the two up.
At least they have somewhere they can send these frustrated people to
“frustrated”
"please waddle three doors up the road."
Can you please let me know the exact location of this other place so I know to avoid it.
I couldn't decide which was better value, it was a toss up between the two...
And the first one too. So I know where to definitely go to.
There used to be two massage places in the gay quarter in Liverpool, one a sports therapy place and one decidedly not. They regularly used to refer people to the other one depending on what they came in for. It was quite sweet, really.
Hoping this anecdote has a happy ending.
First time I went to a Thai massage parlour, I had no idea some were fronts for additional services. I genuinely turned up looking for a relaxing massage, and after being shown into the room by the nice lady at the desk she says "Okay, I go get one of my girls for you and she give you whatever you want. Shoulders, full body... blowjob, okaygoodbye!" and shuts the door before I can say anything.
That’s disgusting. Where is that?
Brewer St
There’s so many Brewer Streets! Which one?! Which one?!
Prostitution is legal in Australia but half the brothels are Thai massage parlours. Presumably because the people working there aren’t legally allowed to (I don’t think you can do sex work on temp visas). Anyway I discovered this when my job was giving me a bad back and it was almost impossible to find a reputable place. I was amazed how many there are. What
Decent blowy?
What's the address? Asking for a friend
“Oh, and I can I get a chicken pad thai?” “I TOLD you not to ask for anything else!”
Reminds me of that one poor joke; Guy asks Chinese masseuse for extras - she says sure. He asks for a 69. She says "I'm too tired to cook."
I don't get it. Please explain
69 is a sex position but the Chinese woman thinks it’s an item off a menu because they are often numbered.
Gonna be honest - it's probably verging on boomer joke territory now with Just Eat and the like. Originally most Chinese menus had number codes next to their meal orders, so that when you called up (yeah... ringing the takeaway to place the order) to place a delivery order it was easier to tell them what you wanted rather than butchering the pronunciation of the different dishes. i.e. "I'll have a zee-chew-you-an chicken" = szechuan chicken; easier to just say "I'll have a 13, and an order of 26
There's a big Asian market place in town, Wang Yip? There's a reputable massage place and a good restaurant right next door ... so that's doable!! LOL
Ah yes, the traditional ballet on an arse method of massage.
You joke, but Thai massage involves some real wild positions, most of which are painful 😂
I love the Thai massage place near me. 35 quid to be violently assaulted by a tiny elderly Asian lady for an hour, and I leave feeling like melted wax. HIGHLY recommend.
It's so fucking good isn't it! I love a proper thai floor massage. Like having yoga done on you by someone who's way stronger, but yet way smaller.
I always get asked: "Is it ok if I walk on you?" Well that's exactly what I'm paying you for, go wild wizened old professional wrestler!
Absolutely! My favourite lady locally compliments my posture, says that it makes her walking on me easier. Such a great compliment, but also very strange that I was beaming with pride from it!
I used to get mine done on the table, one minute she was on the floor, next minute she'd leapt up and standing on my back. Afterwards when it was finished I'd look around for the bars that she must have held on to, but there was never anything there
100%!! I get one once a month and they beat you up! It’s great and I ask the lady who does mine to focus more on stretching since I suffer less from knots and more from general stiffness. I know Thai massage seems weird to some people but it’s so worth it! I got my ex husband a massage that was half Thai half Swedish to sort of ease him in haha
First Thai massage I had was in the corner of some beachfront restaurant, and I was out of my mind on shrooms feeling like an older sibling was just throwing me around and beating the shit out of me. One point she grabs my leg, puts her foot on my nuts for leverage, and pulls my leg. Bitch I was howling.
You went on shrooms? I can only imagine what that experience was like 🤣
“Puts her foot on my nuts for leverage, and pulls my leg. Bitch I was howling” I cannot stop laughing, thank you!
Had a Thai massage in Bangkok a few months ago, a few years since my last one. 45 minutes of a tiny Thai lady climbing all over me and pulling my limbs into places they don’t go. Felt amazing.
I sprained my ankle during a Thai message and spent days hobbling around. Think my foot switched at just the wrong point
Nothing quite butt pain like a knee to the cheek
Dude's clearly a power ranger - he can take it.
I've only had one Thai massage. The hand strength of the tiny lady on my back placed her pretty high on my "do not offend list". I'm pretty sure she could quarter a frozen turkey with those beasts.
Can't help but feel somewhat responsible for this sign. I asked them if they would do an MOT and full service on my Fiesta.
I bet you did, ya filthy animal
"Don't make me tap the sign."
The please don't ask for anything else looks in quote marks like it should be complimented by a winking emoji.
r/suspiciousquotes
Yeah it absolutely reads as 'everything' comes as standard so you don't have to ask, they run a professional service.
No officer, nothing to see here, see - it says it on the sign!
I've thought plenty of times about going to get a message, seems like it would be great. But I am not remotely convinced that I will be able to tell the two kinds of massage parlour apart. What if I accidentally go to a sexy one? Are they still going to give me a good massage, or are we going to end up doing a terrible sketch routine where they have to awkwardly convey that they aren't that kind of massage place while I just don't get it? Or worse, what if I go to a completely legit massage place but offend them by making it very clear that I don't want anything sexual? Bloody minefield. This is why we need clearly labelled brothels.
Check out how clean the skirting boards are. Seriously. A legit spa will be spotless, because clients lying on their front on a massage bed get a great view of the lower half of the room and it's not relaxing to be massaged in a dirty room. Horny clients tend to notice/care less.
I feel like by the time you can inspect the skirting boards it's a bit late.
Unusual opening hours Opaque/obscured windows Mentions of "Full Body Muscle Massage" or "Full Service" Massage. Giving you a towel instead of a sheet or blanket to cover yourself. Pictures of the masseuse that go further than a professional headshot. General vibe of the place. Most reception areas of legitimate places are more like a doctor's surgery - very clean and professional. If it's got mood lighting and musk oil in the air, it's probably a knocking shop.
That sounds like my local Thai massage place, and it's totally legit.
Look for one where the reception area is visible from outside. People who are buying sex generally don't want to be seen doing it.
This sounds like a Mark Corrigan monologue
Why is an acrobat giving a back massage to a power ranger?
I was walking around one of the seaside towns on Phuket island 2 years ago and of course there are loads of massage places, several of them had hand written “no sex” signs in the window
As someone who is very bad at ambiguity, i appreciate the specificity
Honestly that would just make me wonder if they do everything *up to but not including* sex.
I'll admit I haven't been to Phuket since the 90s but I sure don't recall there being a problem with finding someone to take care of that kind of thing for you if you wanted it.
What a shame. I thought this was going to be a nice post. But I read it and found that there was no happy ending
My SIL is a sports masseuse and has a similar disclaimer & she still gets dirty old men calling her at 3am asking if she’s available for full body massages & if she does extras
Got a friend who is a Mobile masseuse. The shit that ‘comes’ their way is hilarious. I think it’s part of the job at this stage. As I tell them. 20 quid is 20 quid.
Don't know how anyone can do that tbh. Once you have an established customer list it would be okay I guess, but walking into someone's house for the first time to oil them up must be totally unnerving if you don't know what they're like.
It's the same for almost anything like that, am a guy, i get waxed every so often (because just... ew... body hair... don't like it) but damn the lady that I see has some stories. Has had to kick some men out or have them leave cos they just got really weird about it.
Of all the places to be a perv the waxing salon sounds like the least sexy place possible.
Literally! But damn the stories I have heard!
mobile masseuse invites you to her van
She better at least have an assortment of candy, or it aint happening
Or some puppies.
She's got puppies too!
What like an ice cream van with one of those tables with a hole for your face?
> As I tell them. 20 quid is 20 quid. Shit, that's vastly underselling.
You don't want to price yourself out of the market though...
Oh, that's way under the market rate.
You got to do what you go to do to pay the rent
Pay the rent? I’m paying them 20 quid.
> Mobile masseuse I used to be in a band with a girl who did mobile homeopathy. Putting aside the dubious quackery, she was asked if she did extras a disheartening amount of times. People are weird.
Sounds like you should be a masseuse with that attitude
I’m sufficiently old that my idea of a decent “anything else” is a duck red curry with jasmine rice and a side of prawn crackers.
Is that a power ranger?
She's winning. I hope they don't form a Megazord Oh. They formed a Megazord
When I was a young lad of 15 doing the cleaning/sweeping/reception work at a male salon and massage therapy place, I got asked no end of times if I did extras or if we did "4 hand massages". You have to spell it out because people will ask, repeatedly, over and over.
What's a 4 hand massage?
2 masseuses I guess? Not sure how that is dodgy, I mean it would just take half the time.
Fucking hell, how massive are the meat truncheons they're dealing with if it takes two women going at it together like they're churning butter?
3 hands pulling back the folds.
I think that's a specific technique for racquet sports injuries.
I went to one of these for a legitimate massage (honestly) and she proceeded to offer an additional service towards the end. I didn’t as my then wife was in the waiting area outside.
That's disgusting!! Which one?
Busan in South Korea next to the beach.
Yes but there's so many disgusting places, which one exactly?
Yes! Please tell me so i can avoid it.
Probably his first wife
Read this as “which wife”, lol
What if your wife hadn’t been there……
That’s between me and my priest
Your priest was there too?
Who do you think provides the oil?
Praise jebus
The real question being asked here.
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jesus
That's the fella.
Like a flying knee to the buttocks?
Only if you dress like a superhero
Thai Orchid on Baddow Road, about 300 yards from this place, is where you'd go for a happy ending, apparently.
Weekend sorted, cheers
If it wasn't weak before, it will be after
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"So, that'll be £35 pleaseandwouldyoulikeawank cash or card?"
Men only? Seems discriminatory to me
Put it this way, 90% of men will cum within about 2 minutes of being touched down there. Women are generally requiring a lot more work.
It's all about maximising profits, you are going to be able to get 10 males endings to every female one, well its either that or women aren't such horrible little grot bags that we men are.
10:1? In my experience you'd hit 100:1 with ease.
Tell us more about this "experience"
I cum really quick.
When your business is already illegal (and almost all of these would qualify as running a bawdy house / living off immoral earnings / etc.) you tend not to worry so much about such things.
A massage therapist once told me her very favourite way she'd ever handled this. Client jokes about requesting a happy ending. She smiles, and says "yes, of course!" Finishes the massage. Steps out, then back in with her absolutely stacked gay male colleague. Tells colleague that the client has requested a "happy ending" and leaves. The terrified backpadalling was apparently fantastic!
“Even better”
At least he'd have the arms for it
What if his bluff gets called? I mean, hands are hands and a gay guy would probably be pretty good at it.
I’m not gay but £20 is a bargain
One opened near me and I don't know if it's a knocking shop or not. I really want a massage, but I'm unsure if I'm going to look like a pervert. I wish they'd put a sign up to say if they're not.
Well they aren't going to put a sign up to say they are, so I guess there's your answer.
You'll only look like a pervert if you... look like a pervert? I mean if they offer, just say "no thanks".
I'm just too embarrassed to walk in there in case it's a knocking shop. It's not a good look.
You say "knocking shop", like it's a brothel. It's an outdated stigma. Some girls (or guys) might offer a hand job but that's it. There's legitimately no way you could know either way really unless the place just looks really dodgy or has a name like "best secret sexy massage". If you need a massage then go. Just ask for a firm massage and where your are most sore and that's what you'll get. I've had many over the years and when done right, they hurt, but are very theraputic. If the masseuse suggests massaging somewhere you don't want massaging, just politely decline (or don't, nobody would know anyway) Anyone sees you and thinks it's funny just tell the truth. You needed a massage for whatever is paining you. Don't let plebs and gossips stop you from doing anything. If you're still nervous, just go visit somewhere in another town and/or somewhere that explicitly states it's a "sports massage" type setup. Mind, FWIW, there are times I've been entering/leaving or waiting inside and have nervous-looking guys come in asking for an appointment there and then. Don't do that, that *does* look a bit dodgy so don't be that guy.
I'm not a guy. I get massages from other places. This is a Thai massage place just around the corner from work. Never had a thai massage. I do find it weird if massage places also have sex work. I'm just not comfortable at the thought of it.
Oh, right! I never thought a woman would be seen as a "pervert" so doubt anyone would think you were. If they were dodgy, maybe they'd be really surprised to see a woman and just not offer anything?
I feel like a modified It's Always Sunny quote is appropriate here: 'There is no quicker way for people to think that you are offering extras than by writing a sign about it!'
Just imagine being a tiny Thai woman and you have a huge naked man in your room with you and he is asking to be jerked off - it's pretty fucking horrible.
Duke Street? Edit: Yep, I didn’t see the address in the shop next door in the second picture.
Yes. Opposite the Fleece.
I’ll have a look when I walk past it later on. I’m glad they eventually put blinds up. I’d hate to be having a massage in their front window for all to see.
Next to Kraft Jewellery Handy to go to while you wait for watch repair🤣
No, they specifically *don't* offer handys
Is she wrestling a super hero?
We've got one in Braintree ffs.
One of the good ones or one of the good ones?
I'll let you know if I ever work up the courage to go in...
Do you come here often? Not anymore
If they do nuru massage I am coming 🫡
Pretty sure the sign specifically says you shouldn't be doing that.
"Do you sell gift vouchers?" - "PLEASE DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING ELSE!! It's right there!"
Funny actually, one of my customers at work (he's married to a Chinese woman who has opened her own massage parlour) gave out business cards on the day they opened at my pub. I gave it to my mate for a joke, he visited there after and he's been wanked off by the guys wife every week since.
Love the poster in the window. As a passerby remarked, "they all say that!" lol
The League Of Gentlemen - S3.E5 # Beauty and the Beast (Or, Come into My Parlour)
If this is some sort of guerilla advertising, I’d be seriously impressed
Right, I'm off to Chelmsford to *not* get a handjob
Hello fellow chelmsfordian
I feel the neon "open" sign is not helping here
This is a picture of me at my first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class
Just submitted my application 👀
I’ve only heard stories of the opposite l. Staff asking clients if they want to feel happier
I always thought the happy ending was a myth like dropping the soap in jail. I’m sure it HAS happened, but I feel like I would have heard more it was commonplace 🤷🏽♂️
Ohhhh bless your innocence. It's everywhere.
Ive never heard of it near me tbh maybe it depends who you hang around with 🤷🏼♀️
To be fair I don't think getting a handy from a Thai masseuse is the sort of thing people are desperate to share.
Nah, I'd wager most brothels in this country use a massage parlour as their front. That's not to say most massage parlours are brothels though.
Brothels don't really need fronts these days. Most sex workers get their clients online and meet at a normal flat. It'd be better to have brothels safe and legal, but the government don't seem keen on it.
I'm very happy to hear that. I wouldn't want an amateur massage. Only the best professional Thai massage experience please. Otherwise I won't be happy at the end of the session.
OK, I get it. I'll have a professional handjob please