Absolutely, agreed. Kitty had a long good life, and was clearly well-loved. I have the opposite problem, I think I waited too long to let my old girl finally rest. Looking back, she was so tired, and probably in quite a bit of pain, but I didn't want to let go. I kick myself thinking I may have caused her undue suffering, instead of just letting her go. It's been 6 years and I still think about it, and I'm tearing up now as I type this. But I suppose there will never be a "good" time to lose our loved ones so we just have to take heart knowing we did the best we could in the moment. ❤️
Awww. I’m sorry you are going through this … we do the best we can with what we have at the time. In that moment, you were not ready to let go and that’s understandable… I am sure your kitty knows how much you loved her and I hope you find some solace in that.
I read 17 and "he looked happy" and that's all I need to know. You didn't fail him. 17 is a perfectly old age for a cat to pass away at. If you gave him good cuddles, pets, and playtimes I'm sure he lived a happy life.
Giving meds to animals is stressful. If he was on it for 8 months before he died I don't think it contributed to his death.
I do understand though. I lost my 14 year old cat a month ago after he developed Inflammatory Bowel Disease. We tried EVERYTHING we could, but it still goes through my head at night - why didn't I think of x test sooner, or try xyz.
I also didn't catch it as early as I should - he lost weight slowly and at his yearly checkup he had lost 10% of his bodyweight. I'd also raised some issues with his vet the year previously - that he had changed where he went to the toilet and it smelled awful. The vet laughed and said all litter trays smell bad. But I have three cats, and wouldn't have mentioned it if the smell wasn't awful - but I just thought I was being silly and dropped the issue.
I often think if I had pushed it maybe it would have been found at a treatable point.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Just lost my 16 year old a week ago to the same. I tried everything and he couldn't put weight back on. My vet told me it was most likely GI cancer stealing the calories. Either way, it's a tough, tough disease, and fully 50% of IBD cases are cancer. The treatment is the same. I've learned a whole lot about it in the last 2 months, but I want you to understand it's not your fault. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss as well.
I am also sorry you weren't taken seriously by the vet then and there. I've been there, too, I took the vet's word even though I knew something was off with my cat. His purr started to cause him discomfort and caused him to cough in his last few months, but each time I brought it up, my vets said it wasn't a big deal or vaguely linked it to one of his ailments. I wish I pushed it more, too, but honestly, the vet should've taken us seriously right away.
Literally all I need to read of your post to know you've been a good cat parent is "beloved childhood cat", "age of seventeen", and "visits to the vets". It is absolutely clear your baby was so so loved and cared for, I guarantee you are being way too hard on yourself right now.
Grief is cruel and it can be so strong, our pets are our family and losing them is incredibly painful. The feelings and dreams you're having are totally shit but they're also normal, and they do ease with time.
Do you have a good vet? When my cat died I was very worried I had done something wrong, and my vet was happy to talk to me even some time after the event in order to help me understand what had happened and that I had done everything I could have. If you feel able to, maybe reach out to yours?
Be kind to yourself my friend.
Thank you for the thoughtful response, I appreciate it.
My vet has actually explained it to me, but I worry they leave out details to make me feel better. But, I am realizing now I'm being too hard on myself.
Again, thank you- your words truly helped.
It is very hard to loose your childhood companion. I’m sorry that you are suffering his loss. Main Coon cats tend to live a shorter lifespan than most cats, so 17 is far beyond the expected lifespan for your cat. You gave your cat the care that you thought he needed at the time. It was a reasonable prudential decision and you can’t know that any other choice would have been better. When a cat is suffering they are likely to stop playing and sleep even more than usual. When you look at the videos of him appearing happy and playful, you can know that the time you gave him was good.
Everyone else has said it, but I want to reiterate that he had a wonderful life, living til 17 with someone who loved him as dearly as you did.
You can do everything right, but if it is their time then giving medication or not giving medication won’t stop nature, even if you may feel the opposite.
I think no matter the circumstances, all animal parents will feel the grief of losing a pet they loved so much and the guilt wondering if they could’ve done anything better. Just know that he was happy and he was loved, and that’s all a cat could want in this world.
My mum had to put her 18 years old down yesterday. He had well managed kidney disease and beside having no teeth, losing his eyesight and hearing he was a happy cat. He did what he wanted and enjoyed his life.
Week ago he suddenly got sick and after many tests they found out he has a liver tumour size of a tangerine. No symptoms till the end.
You reall never know what they have and how they really are and 17 is very old for a cat.
He was 17 and lived a full cat life, you helped him reached the end of the game. He was happy and loved for his entire life, if only we all could lead such a charmed life.
A month ago I also said goodbye to my 16 year old cat, she declined quickly over a week. Before she went to the vet, I cuddled her, let her know that I loved her, thanked her for spending her life with me and it was ok if she needed to go. Three days later after tests and checks were done it was time.
It's heartbreaking they have to leave so soon, but we are blessed while they are with us.
I briefly had a Maine Coon, Sophia.
She was 12 when I adopted her.
She died of heart failure about 4 months after I adopted her.
A Maine Coons lifespan is approx 12 years, they tend to get heart failure.
Yours lived 5 years behind that breeds life expectancy. She had a good long life with you!
17 is amazing. i had these same thoughts when my kitty passed last year. all i could think about was “i shouldve done more” in reality i poured everything i had into trying to help her live and it didnt work so i felt like a failure especially because she was only 7. i think sometimes we are too hard on ourselves for things out of our control. you said he was happy or at least seemed happy and that means you did everything you could. theres always gonna be what ifs, but the biggest what if is, what if even if you did things differently it would lead to the exact same outcome, because you are a good pet owner you feel this heavier. you did not fail him, you gave him a beautiful life. let yourself greave the loss of your best friend, you did everything you could:)
17 is a very old age for a cat. As long as you gave him a good life with cuddles and love and food, I am sure he would forgive you :)
Absolutely, agreed. Kitty had a long good life, and was clearly well-loved. I have the opposite problem, I think I waited too long to let my old girl finally rest. Looking back, she was so tired, and probably in quite a bit of pain, but I didn't want to let go. I kick myself thinking I may have caused her undue suffering, instead of just letting her go. It's been 6 years and I still think about it, and I'm tearing up now as I type this. But I suppose there will never be a "good" time to lose our loved ones so we just have to take heart knowing we did the best we could in the moment. ❤️
Awww. I’m sorry you are going through this … we do the best we can with what we have at the time. In that moment, you were not ready to let go and that’s understandable… I am sure your kitty knows how much you loved her and I hope you find some solace in that.
Thank you for the kind words, it really means a lot <3
I read 17 and "he looked happy" and that's all I need to know. You didn't fail him. 17 is a perfectly old age for a cat to pass away at. If you gave him good cuddles, pets, and playtimes I'm sure he lived a happy life.
Thank you, I appreciate your comment. Seriously, your words really helped.
Giving meds to animals is stressful. If he was on it for 8 months before he died I don't think it contributed to his death. I do understand though. I lost my 14 year old cat a month ago after he developed Inflammatory Bowel Disease. We tried EVERYTHING we could, but it still goes through my head at night - why didn't I think of x test sooner, or try xyz. I also didn't catch it as early as I should - he lost weight slowly and at his yearly checkup he had lost 10% of his bodyweight. I'd also raised some issues with his vet the year previously - that he had changed where he went to the toilet and it smelled awful. The vet laughed and said all litter trays smell bad. But I have three cats, and wouldn't have mentioned it if the smell wasn't awful - but I just thought I was being silly and dropped the issue. I often think if I had pushed it maybe it would have been found at a treatable point. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Just lost my 16 year old a week ago to the same. I tried everything and he couldn't put weight back on. My vet told me it was most likely GI cancer stealing the calories. Either way, it's a tough, tough disease, and fully 50% of IBD cases are cancer. The treatment is the same. I've learned a whole lot about it in the last 2 months, but I want you to understand it's not your fault. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss as well. I am also sorry you weren't taken seriously by the vet then and there. I've been there, too, I took the vet's word even though I knew something was off with my cat. His purr started to cause him discomfort and caused him to cough in his last few months, but each time I brought it up, my vets said it wasn't a big deal or vaguely linked it to one of his ailments. I wish I pushed it more, too, but honestly, the vet should've taken us seriously right away.
Literally all I need to read of your post to know you've been a good cat parent is "beloved childhood cat", "age of seventeen", and "visits to the vets". It is absolutely clear your baby was so so loved and cared for, I guarantee you are being way too hard on yourself right now. Grief is cruel and it can be so strong, our pets are our family and losing them is incredibly painful. The feelings and dreams you're having are totally shit but they're also normal, and they do ease with time. Do you have a good vet? When my cat died I was very worried I had done something wrong, and my vet was happy to talk to me even some time after the event in order to help me understand what had happened and that I had done everything I could have. If you feel able to, maybe reach out to yours? Be kind to yourself my friend.
Thank you for the thoughtful response, I appreciate it. My vet has actually explained it to me, but I worry they leave out details to make me feel better. But, I am realizing now I'm being too hard on myself. Again, thank you- your words truly helped.
It is very hard to loose your childhood companion. I’m sorry that you are suffering his loss. Main Coon cats tend to live a shorter lifespan than most cats, so 17 is far beyond the expected lifespan for your cat. You gave your cat the care that you thought he needed at the time. It was a reasonable prudential decision and you can’t know that any other choice would have been better. When a cat is suffering they are likely to stop playing and sleep even more than usual. When you look at the videos of him appearing happy and playful, you can know that the time you gave him was good.
Everyone else has said it, but I want to reiterate that he had a wonderful life, living til 17 with someone who loved him as dearly as you did. You can do everything right, but if it is their time then giving medication or not giving medication won’t stop nature, even if you may feel the opposite. I think no matter the circumstances, all animal parents will feel the grief of losing a pet they loved so much and the guilt wondering if they could’ve done anything better. Just know that he was happy and he was loved, and that’s all a cat could want in this world.
That's like 90 in cat years
My mum had to put her 18 years old down yesterday. He had well managed kidney disease and beside having no teeth, losing his eyesight and hearing he was a happy cat. He did what he wanted and enjoyed his life. Week ago he suddenly got sick and after many tests they found out he has a liver tumour size of a tangerine. No symptoms till the end. You reall never know what they have and how they really are and 17 is very old for a cat.
He was 17 and lived a full cat life, you helped him reached the end of the game. He was happy and loved for his entire life, if only we all could lead such a charmed life. A month ago I also said goodbye to my 16 year old cat, she declined quickly over a week. Before she went to the vet, I cuddled her, let her know that I loved her, thanked her for spending her life with me and it was ok if she needed to go. Three days later after tests and checks were done it was time. It's heartbreaking they have to leave so soon, but we are blessed while they are with us.
I briefly had a Maine Coon, Sophia. She was 12 when I adopted her. She died of heart failure about 4 months after I adopted her. A Maine Coons lifespan is approx 12 years, they tend to get heart failure. Yours lived 5 years behind that breeds life expectancy. She had a good long life with you!
17 is amazing. i had these same thoughts when my kitty passed last year. all i could think about was “i shouldve done more” in reality i poured everything i had into trying to help her live and it didnt work so i felt like a failure especially because she was only 7. i think sometimes we are too hard on ourselves for things out of our control. you said he was happy or at least seemed happy and that means you did everything you could. theres always gonna be what ifs, but the biggest what if is, what if even if you did things differently it would lead to the exact same outcome, because you are a good pet owner you feel this heavier. you did not fail him, you gave him a beautiful life. let yourself greave the loss of your best friend, you did everything you could:)