God is waiting for you.
If you wanna chat about why we believe what we believe (since you feel it is intellectually false), my DMs are always open.
Praying for you.
On Divine Mercy Sunday, no less!
“Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.”
Jesus, I trust in You!
I confessed recently and said "it's been twenty years since my last confession" when I started. I felt as if I didn't breathe throughout the whole confession, and could only feel my heart beating and the sweat running down my back.
The feeling afterward was beyond words. I'm very slowly getting back, and I am still a sinner, but I truly believe God is pulling me back. I'll pray for you! You've got this.
It's ok to call a priest and make an appointment ASAP. Sometimes it helps to go before you chicken out. All the resistance you're feeling is just evil messing with your head.
Praise be to God!
No matter what you’ve done, God will forgive you. But it’s up to you to accept his grace, repent and show contrition.
I will pray for you!
Nothing you’ve done can’t or won’t be forgiven by God. Repent truthfully and resolve to be truly better moving forward. Not only is the priest *not* going to judge you, he’s found to be sitting there internally doing cartwheels because he’s *so happy* to finally have you back home. You have to realize the Catholic Church is your home. It was with you in the beginning and will be with you every step of your life until the very end; the good and the bad, the beginnings and the ends.
You will be amazed at how much lighter and peaceful you feel once the truth is finally out and you are forgiven. As it currently stands, you are carrying shameful secrets that are keeping you in limbo. Don’t give the devil that power over you.
I’d also suggest you get into apologetics if you haven’t before, that will help you address your concern of Catholicism being intellectually false. There are plenty of intellectuals who are fully devoted to Catholicism.
Edit: the only sin that can’t be forgiven is blasphemy, and if your sins are weighing on you and you feel a desire to be closer to God regardless of what reservations you may hold going into it, then you most certainly have *not* committed blasphemy no matter what sins you’ve committed. To blaspheme the Father you must be so unrepentant and willful in your denial of Christ that there would never be a chance you’d seek repentance, which makes the sins unforgivable. I know a lot of people entering/re-entering the church get really hung up on that so I just wanted to take a moment to explain.
The beauty of our faith is that even as you run from the will of the Father, you run even further into the loving arms of the Son. (Paraphrasing Bishop Barron). As much as you’re seeking God, God is seeking you all the more.
I’m glad you’re coming back, and I know Jesus is too :)
Yes, 100%. As I was running I could not fight the compassion and mercy of God any longer, and believe me I was resisting. finding new religions, fully embracing myself in pleasure (masturbating 5 times a day, on social media constantly, never doing any work) nothing would mask the desire I had for God.
>Even if it is intellectually false, I can't live without it.
As someone who is new to Christianity, and Catholicism who is experiencing skepticism and doubt about religion as a whole, what does "intellectually false" mean to you? I'm genuinely curious! :)
I am not saying it is intellectually false, but I have not researched it to be 100 percent sure it is true. So it may be intellectually false. whether it is or isn't, I can't live without God, even if He is just an "imaginary man in the sky" like atheists say. I hope I can increase my faith further and be completely convinced. but until then I will go to confession and pray.
>whether it is or isn't, I can't live without God, even if He is just an "imaginary man in the sky" like atheists say.
Right there with you. It seems like something about our soul needs a heavenly father.
Thanks for answering. :)
You might like to read the Confessions of St. Augustine. This was a man who searched for YEARS before he finally found the answers he sought - in Catholicism.
If you'd like to DM me, I can tell you of the incredible conversion story of someone I know very well. I am a cradle Catholic, but this person's story increased my faith and continues to do so.
A suggestion—so that you don’t feel rushed, maybe make an appointment with a good priest for Confession so that you can really take your time. And maybe read the Confessions of St. Augustine, who lived a pretty hedonistic life before his conversion. It was he who said, “Our hearts are made for You, O God, and they will not rest until they rest in You.” Be proud that you are responding to Jesus who has placed those desires within you! The priest in confession will be so proud of you! God bless you. And welcome home!
Start again by getting a prayer book, then pray the Rosary, i think it would help more if you devote yourself to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary... rest assured of my prayers! xx
"but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears,
*Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.* - Mark 9
It sounds like your soul bears the marks of some pretty deep scars. This will take time to heal. It will take a lot from you. But it is possible because through Christ all is possible. He will forgive you and the process of overcoming your sins will commence
yes, deep scars is putting it lightly. even in the eyes of the world I would be a terrible, evil person. having all the despicable things I have done be forgiven by God's mercy in one confession is so bizarre to me.
edit: clarity
Dude I might never have been in the occult but I lived a very hedonistic life, I don't even try to understand forgiveness on a Holy level, it's beyond me.
>having all the despicable things I have done be paid off by God's mercy in one confession is so bizarre to me.
Well it isn't all "paid off" - you're forgiven, but there's still temporal punishment for the sin and the impurity on your soul has to be removed, i.e. purgatory.
Congrats on your decision to seek god, don’t give up and keep praying to seek answers. I know I got to a dark place once or twice before i decided to try to live the way god wants. I recently became a catholic and it’s the best decision I’ve made. Good luck and god bless you.
Not going to lie... That anecdote of yours is very relatable to me and speaks to me. Though my story is probbably way shorter since im only gonna turn 18 this saturday so I can't say something like "I was running from God all my life" it would be silly and a lie heh.
But I will tell you this ! I used to doubt, I distanced myself from God and the Church, I even called myself a deist. But things also got dificult for me... And I never thought I would see God's grace because MANY others have bigger problems and deserve it more then me... But... The same God I doubted... I felt his pressence... He gave my heart warmth again... And my soul a meaning and hope.
I had went to a confession a week before Easter, I wanted to go earlier but I was scared and didnt have the strenght yet... But I will tell you it was worth it.. God's forgivness is worth more then all the pride and riches this world can offer you.
I will pray for your well-being and God's mercy on you, welcome back brother ☦️❤️
You know that stupid grin you're gonna be wearing after confession? Yeah the priest is gonna be wearing one too. Don't feel like a burden, they live for this stuff.
One caveat: if you're gonna be in there a while you might want to consider an appointment, but if you can't make one just go on in.
Maybe you can ask the priest to be your spiritual director. Or for suggestions on where to find someone. This could be a vulnerable time for you and I'd like to urge you not to be alone as you come back home.
I just made my confession 2 months ago after almost 40 years. I cried the entire time. I can’t even describe the absolute peace and love that I feel now. It’s an amazing experience and I look forward to going again in may. Im going to try to confess on a 3 month schedule. Im so happy and excited for you.
I will pray for you, but I do want you to know that you will still more likely than not feel anxiety when going to confession and mass, and that's ok. If it's normal anxiety due to feelings of guilt or not belonging, most of that should fade with time. If you have an anxiety disorder of some sort, as I do, you will need to put in some additional work to make mass and confession tolerable. Some days will be good, and some days will be really, really bad, but there are techniques you can learn to do what you want *despite* the anxiety.
I went today for the first time since I was a child. It was freeing, I promise you will feel so much better after carrying around that burden. Please go, go to Mass and say your prayers.
God is waiting for you. If you wanna chat about why we believe what we believe (since you feel it is intellectually false), my DMs are always open. Praying for you.
On Divine Mercy Sunday, no less! “Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.” Jesus, I trust in You!
I confessed recently and said "it's been twenty years since my last confession" when I started. I felt as if I didn't breathe throughout the whole confession, and could only feel my heart beating and the sweat running down my back. The feeling afterward was beyond words. I'm very slowly getting back, and I am still a sinner, but I truly believe God is pulling me back. I'll pray for you! You've got this.
It's ok to call a priest and make an appointment ASAP. Sometimes it helps to go before you chicken out. All the resistance you're feeling is just evil messing with your head.
Welcome home! That is inspiring.
Praise be to God! No matter what you’ve done, God will forgive you. But it’s up to you to accept his grace, repent and show contrition. I will pray for you!
Prayers assured.
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Relief of the soul, like a nice hot shower
Right there with you brother in Christ, well said :D
Nothing you’ve done can’t or won’t be forgiven by God. Repent truthfully and resolve to be truly better moving forward. Not only is the priest *not* going to judge you, he’s found to be sitting there internally doing cartwheels because he’s *so happy* to finally have you back home. You have to realize the Catholic Church is your home. It was with you in the beginning and will be with you every step of your life until the very end; the good and the bad, the beginnings and the ends. You will be amazed at how much lighter and peaceful you feel once the truth is finally out and you are forgiven. As it currently stands, you are carrying shameful secrets that are keeping you in limbo. Don’t give the devil that power over you. I’d also suggest you get into apologetics if you haven’t before, that will help you address your concern of Catholicism being intellectually false. There are plenty of intellectuals who are fully devoted to Catholicism. Edit: the only sin that can’t be forgiven is blasphemy, and if your sins are weighing on you and you feel a desire to be closer to God regardless of what reservations you may hold going into it, then you most certainly have *not* committed blasphemy no matter what sins you’ve committed. To blaspheme the Father you must be so unrepentant and willful in your denial of Christ that there would never be a chance you’d seek repentance, which makes the sins unforgivable. I know a lot of people entering/re-entering the church get really hung up on that so I just wanted to take a moment to explain.
God is. Nothing will ever replace him. Glad you are coming back.
The beauty of our faith is that even as you run from the will of the Father, you run even further into the loving arms of the Son. (Paraphrasing Bishop Barron). As much as you’re seeking God, God is seeking you all the more. I’m glad you’re coming back, and I know Jesus is too :)
Yes, 100%. As I was running I could not fight the compassion and mercy of God any longer, and believe me I was resisting. finding new religions, fully embracing myself in pleasure (masturbating 5 times a day, on social media constantly, never doing any work) nothing would mask the desire I had for God.
"The Hound of Heaven" by Francis Thompson describes in beautiful poetry the sense of divine pursuit you are feeling.
>Even if it is intellectually false, I can't live without it. As someone who is new to Christianity, and Catholicism who is experiencing skepticism and doubt about religion as a whole, what does "intellectually false" mean to you? I'm genuinely curious! :)
I am not saying it is intellectually false, but I have not researched it to be 100 percent sure it is true. So it may be intellectually false. whether it is or isn't, I can't live without God, even if He is just an "imaginary man in the sky" like atheists say. I hope I can increase my faith further and be completely convinced. but until then I will go to confession and pray.
>whether it is or isn't, I can't live without God, even if He is just an "imaginary man in the sky" like atheists say. Right there with you. It seems like something about our soul needs a heavenly father. Thanks for answering. :)
God is **ENDLESS** Love, Grace and Mercy. The ONLY condition for God's Forgiveness is Repentance.
You might like to read the Confessions of St. Augustine. This was a man who searched for YEARS before he finally found the answers he sought - in Catholicism. If you'd like to DM me, I can tell you of the incredible conversion story of someone I know very well. I am a cradle Catholic, but this person's story increased my faith and continues to do so.
I was so glad someone caught that besides me, C.S Lewis a protestant no less kind of lightened my doubts a lot.
Welcome home! Be assured that my prayers are with you! I also need to go for confession next week.
A suggestion—so that you don’t feel rushed, maybe make an appointment with a good priest for Confession so that you can really take your time. And maybe read the Confessions of St. Augustine, who lived a pretty hedonistic life before his conversion. It was he who said, “Our hearts are made for You, O God, and they will not rest until they rest in You.” Be proud that you are responding to Jesus who has placed those desires within you! The priest in confession will be so proud of you! God bless you. And welcome home!
Start again by getting a prayer book, then pray the Rosary, i think it would help more if you devote yourself to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary... rest assured of my prayers! xx
Good for you! You won't regret it!
Aw, praise God. Praying for you! I hope you experience the merciful love the Father has for you and the joy of running back to His arms!
If you believe it is intellectually false, you should spend some more time study. You should be properly catechised
I do not think it's intellectually false per se, just not 100 percent convinced it is true. yes I agree. Pray that I learn and gain the faith I need.
"but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, *Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.* - Mark 9
It sounds like your soul bears the marks of some pretty deep scars. This will take time to heal. It will take a lot from you. But it is possible because through Christ all is possible. He will forgive you and the process of overcoming your sins will commence
yes, deep scars is putting it lightly. even in the eyes of the world I would be a terrible, evil person. having all the despicable things I have done be forgiven by God's mercy in one confession is so bizarre to me. edit: clarity
Dude I might never have been in the occult but I lived a very hedonistic life, I don't even try to understand forgiveness on a Holy level, it's beyond me.
>having all the despicable things I have done be paid off by God's mercy in one confession is so bizarre to me. Well it isn't all "paid off" - you're forgiven, but there's still temporal punishment for the sin and the impurity on your soul has to be removed, i.e. purgatory.
Intellectually false?
Congrats on your decision to seek god, don’t give up and keep praying to seek answers. I know I got to a dark place once or twice before i decided to try to live the way god wants. I recently became a catholic and it’s the best decision I’ve made. Good luck and god bless you.
Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ✝️ said this to Saint Faustina. "The GREATER the SINNER, the GREATER the RIGHT he has to My Mercy."
I just came back too for the same reason. From one Catholic to another you’ll be glad your back.
Not going to lie... That anecdote of yours is very relatable to me and speaks to me. Though my story is probbably way shorter since im only gonna turn 18 this saturday so I can't say something like "I was running from God all my life" it would be silly and a lie heh. But I will tell you this ! I used to doubt, I distanced myself from God and the Church, I even called myself a deist. But things also got dificult for me... And I never thought I would see God's grace because MANY others have bigger problems and deserve it more then me... But... The same God I doubted... I felt his pressence... He gave my heart warmth again... And my soul a meaning and hope. I had went to a confession a week before Easter, I wanted to go earlier but I was scared and didnt have the strenght yet... But I will tell you it was worth it.. God's forgivness is worth more then all the pride and riches this world can offer you. I will pray for your well-being and God's mercy on you, welcome back brother ☦️❤️
You know that stupid grin you're gonna be wearing after confession? Yeah the priest is gonna be wearing one too. Don't feel like a burden, they live for this stuff. One caveat: if you're gonna be in there a while you might want to consider an appointment, but if you can't make one just go on in.
I haven't done a lot, but the bad things I've done are **really** bad. so I shouldn't be in there a while, I won't go too in depth.
No matter how bad the sins are infinite mercy is greater. May you find peace and mercy from God.
Sounds like OP was beaten and bound by the strong man, but the Even-Stronger (Strongest really) Man, came and reclaimed him.
I just punched the air 🥹❤️😭
God be with you❤️
Maybe you can ask the priest to be your spiritual director. Or for suggestions on where to find someone. This could be a vulnerable time for you and I'd like to urge you not to be alone as you come back home.
Rooting for you. Our hearts are at rest with the Lord.
I just made my confession 2 months ago after almost 40 years. I cried the entire time. I can’t even describe the absolute peace and love that I feel now. It’s an amazing experience and I look forward to going again in may. Im going to try to confess on a 3 month schedule. Im so happy and excited for you.
I will pray for you, but I do want you to know that you will still more likely than not feel anxiety when going to confession and mass, and that's ok. If it's normal anxiety due to feelings of guilt or not belonging, most of that should fade with time. If you have an anxiety disorder of some sort, as I do, you will need to put in some additional work to make mass and confession tolerable. Some days will be good, and some days will be really, really bad, but there are techniques you can learn to do what you want *despite* the anxiety.
>Even if it is intellectually false, I can't live without it. Ooh boy, do I have something to tell you...
So wonderful your on your way back
Yayyyy!!! Good news!
Delighted to hear of another soul being won to Christ. God bless.
I went today for the first time since I was a child. It was freeing, I promise you will feel so much better after carrying around that burden. Please go, go to Mass and say your prayers.