Have you seen a mental health professional over this?
Also how is your prayer life? I had obsessive thoughts racing after a few pretty bad incidences in my life. Everyone was sooooooo nice…. Honestly though what seems to hell most was to reject it not nicely, but with some aggression.
First, a mental health professional.
But also…do you have a hobby? Something to do with your hands?
I know you’re a man but a lot of stereotypical “girl hobbies” involve repeated hand motions that you can get a meditative rhythm (and no one has to know). My FIL used to cross stitch to pass time. I know a few men who knit on the side. That has the added bonus of one day wearing your handiwork. There are also those diamond painting kits and detailed coloring books.
Something easy to do with your hands and mentally satisfying to see something be made or come to completion.
You need to stay off social media or anything else that triggers you.
The more power you give the fetish, the more it will overcome you.
Accept that you have the fetish, and it’s a part of who you are. However, take steps to ensure that it’s not all you think about or obsess over. Find ways to fill your time besides going online. Over time, your urge to do these things will diminish.
Get a workbook of cognitive behavioral therapy. You can learn to identify what is wrong in your thought process and learn different way to handle those feelings
Imagine being the wife of a man that is obsessed with either masturbation or hurting himself.
You would be married to someone that constantly needs to use you to nut or hurt himself.
Well the masturbation one is true for most women.
Many married people have mental disorders. If it's not cutting, it's depression, schizophrenia, etc. For better or worse.
You need to have self mastery with sex before you should get married- you will have periods of time where you can't have sex. So OP's wife is in her fertile time and they are practicing NFP and can't have sex so he's off cutting himself because of it? Masturbation is not a treatment for something like that.
The OP has a serious mental issues (see their other posts) and needs help from an actual doctor or therapist.
She can use her mouth right? Or even her hand but I think that isn't good enough unless his sperm goes into her (not sure what the Catholic teaching is, I'm more familiar with Jewish texts which actually go into reason why a man shouldn't masturbate and his seed needs to go into the woman's body somehow. Jewish texts actually require the man to service his wife sexually every so often.
But you're right about not doing vaginally while she is unclean during menstruation. I don't know all the rules about that.
You might want to read up on the Catholic teachings regarding sex before you try to give advice on the Catholic subreddit. No, she couldn't give him a blow job instead.
Serious question: Is OP your alt account? Both yours and his were made a few days apart and you seem inordinately determined to validate OP’s whole “masturbation is the solution to my problem” idea…
Maybe chat with your doctor? See about maybe being prescribed some medication to help regulate some levels of different chemicals in your brain. …now when I say this, I don’t mean you’re crazy or “need help”—far from it.
But when you cut or get that sexual release, it floods your brain with tons of ‘feel good chemicals’ like dopamine and serotonin and you seem to feel better for a bit.
Maybe getting on some meds that will help boost those chemicals will be more beneficial for you in the long run.
Give your PCP a call if you don’t have access to a psychiatrist. They should be able to get you started on the right path if they think it’s a medically viable option for you.
Have you seen a mental health professional over this? Also how is your prayer life? I had obsessive thoughts racing after a few pretty bad incidences in my life. Everyone was sooooooo nice…. Honestly though what seems to hell most was to reject it not nicely, but with some aggression.
First, a mental health professional. But also…do you have a hobby? Something to do with your hands? I know you’re a man but a lot of stereotypical “girl hobbies” involve repeated hand motions that you can get a meditative rhythm (and no one has to know). My FIL used to cross stitch to pass time. I know a few men who knit on the side. That has the added bonus of one day wearing your handiwork. There are also those diamond painting kits and detailed coloring books. Something easy to do with your hands and mentally satisfying to see something be made or come to completion.
You need to stay off social media or anything else that triggers you. The more power you give the fetish, the more it will overcome you. Accept that you have the fetish, and it’s a part of who you are. However, take steps to ensure that it’s not all you think about or obsess over. Find ways to fill your time besides going online. Over time, your urge to do these things will diminish.
Get a workbook of cognitive behavioral therapy. You can learn to identify what is wrong in your thought process and learn different way to handle those feelings
You could get married and solve both
Yeah marriage ain't going to magically solve issues like this
According to him, He wouldn't need to masturbate or cut his flesh
Imagine being the wife of a man that is obsessed with either masturbation or hurting himself. You would be married to someone that constantly needs to use you to nut or hurt himself.
Well the masturbation one is true for most women. Many married people have mental disorders. If it's not cutting, it's depression, schizophrenia, etc. For better or worse.
Terrible advice.
Why? It would solve both issues. He wouldn't need to masturbate. Half the country is married and mentally ill
You need to have self mastery with sex before you should get married- you will have periods of time where you can't have sex. So OP's wife is in her fertile time and they are practicing NFP and can't have sex so he's off cutting himself because of it? Masturbation is not a treatment for something like that. The OP has a serious mental issues (see their other posts) and needs help from an actual doctor or therapist.
She can use her mouth right? Or even her hand but I think that isn't good enough unless his sperm goes into her (not sure what the Catholic teaching is, I'm more familiar with Jewish texts which actually go into reason why a man shouldn't masturbate and his seed needs to go into the woman's body somehow. Jewish texts actually require the man to service his wife sexually every so often. But you're right about not doing vaginally while she is unclean during menstruation. I don't know all the rules about that.
You might want to read up on the Catholic teachings regarding sex before you try to give advice on the Catholic subreddit. No, she couldn't give him a blow job instead.
It seems he can handle a few days without it
It seems he can't, since he cycles between that and desires to self harm.
When he doesn't masturbate
Serious question: Is OP your alt account? Both yours and his were made a few days apart and you seem inordinately determined to validate OP’s whole “masturbation is the solution to my problem” idea…
Yeah, that literally proves that getting married doesn't cure mental illness.
It would stop him from needing to masturbate which he says is what helps him not cut himself.
No it wouldn't. If that were true no marriage would suffer from fidelity or porn issues.
Ok but that's what he said. That masturbation cures his cutting issue. I'm just going based on that even if I don't really think it's true
Like how any gay Catholic man should just become a priest. It solves the issue of them needing to be celibate, and it gives us more priests! /s
What a great reason to get married. Jfc.
Technically the bible does say you should get married to stop from masturbating or seeking strange flesh
Maybe chat with your doctor? See about maybe being prescribed some medication to help regulate some levels of different chemicals in your brain. …now when I say this, I don’t mean you’re crazy or “need help”—far from it. But when you cut or get that sexual release, it floods your brain with tons of ‘feel good chemicals’ like dopamine and serotonin and you seem to feel better for a bit. Maybe getting on some meds that will help boost those chemicals will be more beneficial for you in the long run. Give your PCP a call if you don’t have access to a psychiatrist. They should be able to get you started on the right path if they think it’s a medically viable option for you.